<SPAN name="startofbook"></SPAN>
<div class="align-None container titlepage">
<p class="center pfirst"><span class="xx-large">A DEAL
<br/>WITH
<br/>THE DEVIL</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><em class="italics medium">By</em></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span class="bold large">EDEN PHILLPOTTS</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span class="small">AUTHOR OF
<br/>"IN SUGAR-CANE LAND;"
<br/>"THE END OF A LIFE;" "FOLLY AND FRESH AIR;"
<br/>"SOME EVERY-DAY FOLKS;"
<br/>ETC.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><em class="italics medium">LONDON</em><span class="medium">
<br/>BLISS, SANDS AND FOSTER
<br/>CRAVEN STREET, STRAND, W.C.
<br/>1895</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
</div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">CONTENTS.</span></p>
<ol class="upperroman simple">
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#grandfather-s-birthday">Grandfather's Birthday</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#in-the-cupboard">In the Cupboard</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#cold-comfort">Cold Comfort</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#hidden-in-london">Hidden in London</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#the-people-next-door">The People next Door</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#retreat">Retreat</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#vote-for-dolphin">"Vote for Dolphin"</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#marie-rogers">Marie Rogers</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#in-london-once-more">In London once more</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#the-crusade">The Crusade</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#a-new-leaf-turned">A New Leaf turned</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#a-suggestion">A Suggestion</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#the-squire-s-daughter">The Squire's Daughter</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#at-upper-norwood">At Upper Norwood</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#susan-marks">Susan Marks</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#on-the-river">On the River</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#phyllis">Phyllis</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#i-forbid-the-banns">I forbid the Banns</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#counsel-s-opinion">Counsel's Opinion</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#a-climax">A Climax</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#my-nightmare">My Nightmare</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#the-dwindling-of-grandpapa">The Dwindling of Grandpapa</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#fine-by-degrees-and-beautifully-less">"Fine by Degrees and Beautifully Less"</SPAN></p>
</li>
<li><p class="first noindent pfirst"><SPAN class="reference internal" href="#the-passing-of-grandpapa">The Passing of Grandpapa</SPAN></p>
</li>
</ol>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="grandfather-s-birthday"><em class="bold italics x-large">A Deal with the Devil.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER I.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">GRANDFATHER'S BIRTHDAY.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>Before my grandpapa, Mr. Daniel
Dolphin, comes down to breakfast on
the morning of his hundredth birthday, I may
tell you something about him. He has been
married three times; he has buried all his
wives and all his children. There were five
of the latter, resulting from grandpapa's three
marriages; but now I, Martha Dolphin, the
only child of grandpapa's eldest son, am the
sole survivor and living descendant of Daniel
Dolphin.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Frankly it must be confessed that grandpapa
has been an unprincipled man in his
time. Among other inconveniences, resulting
from unedifying conduct, he suffered five years'
imprisonment for forgery before I was born;
but when he turned ninety-five I think he
honestly began to realise that this world is,
after all, a mere temporary place of preparation,
and from that age up to the present moment
(I am dealing with the morning of his
hundredth birthday) he abandoned the things
which once gave him pleasure, and began to
look seriously towards another and a better life
beyond the grave. Indeed, thanks to my
ever-present warnings, and the Rev. John
Murdoch's ministrations, grandpapa, from the
time he was ninety-five, kept as sober, as
honest, and as innocent as one could wish to
see any nonagenarian. He regarded the
future with quiet confidence now, feared death
no longer, and alleged that his approaching
end had no terrors for him. The dear old
fellow was very fond of me, and he often said
that, but for his patient granddaughter, he
should never have turned from the broad
downward road at all. I can see him now
coming in to breakfast--a marvellous man for
his age. Bent he was, and shrivelled as a
brown pippin from last year looks in June, but
his eyes were bright, his intelligence was keen,
his wit and humour ever active, his jokes most
creditable for a man of such advanced age. In
his antique frilled shirt, black stock, long
snuff-coloured coat, and velvet cap, grandpapa
looked a perfect picture. I cannot say there
was anything venerable about him, but he
would have made a splendid model for a miser
or something of that sort.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Many, many happy returns of the day,
dear grandpapa," said I, hastening to kiss
his withered cheek and to place a white rose
from our little garden in his button-hole.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Thank you, thank you, Martha. Have you
got a present for the old man?" he asked,
in his sharp, piping treble.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"That I have, dear grandpapa--a big packet
of the real rappee you always like so much."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Good girl. And this--Lord! Lord!--this
is my hundredth birthday!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Presently he wrestled with a poached egg
and some bread-and-milk. He spoiled his
beautiful frilled shirt with the egg, and used
an expletive. Then he remembered a comic
incident, and began to chuckle in the middle of
tea-drinking, and so choked.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I patted him on the back, cleaned him up,
and pulled him together. Then, spluttering
and laughing, all in a breath, he turned to me,
gradually calmed down, and spoke:</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"A dream--it was a dream that came to me
last night--a vivid incubus, mighty clear and
mighty real. It must have been the tapioca
pudden at supper. I told you it was awful
tough."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Indeed, dearest one, I made it myself."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, well. To the dream. I thought
a figure stood at my bedside--a figure much
like that in the flames on the old stained-glass
window at St. Paul's. He wore horns too, but
certainly he had the manners of a gentleman.
Of course we all know he is one. It's in the
Bible, or Shakespeare, or somewhere."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"A fiend, grandpapa!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"The devil himself, my dear, and a very
tidy personage too. Bless your life, he bowed
and scraped like a Frenchman, apologised for
troubling me at such a late hour, handed me
my glasses, that I might the better see the
friendly look on his face, and then asked me if
I could spare him ten minutes. You know
nothing ever alarms me. I'm 'saved,' if I
understand Parson Murdoch rightly; and,
therefore I've no need to be bothered about
the other place or anybody in it."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Don't talk like that, grandpapa."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Why not? 'Well, fire away, Nicholas,' I
said, 'but candidly you've come to the wrong
man, if you imagine you'll do any business
here. I was off your books five years ago.
You know that well enough.' 'Daniel,' he
answered, with more familiarity than I cared
about, 'Daniel, it is only because you were
on my books for ninety-five years that I've
dropped in this evening. One good turn
deserves another. You are probably not
aware that, in the ordinary course of events,
to-morrow morning--the morning of your
hundredth birthday--will never come for you.
The sun will rise and find you lifeless clay;
your granddaughter will knock at your
chamber door and receive no answer; for your
days are numbered, your span of life,
handsome enough in all conscience, is done. But
listen, I can guarantee ten more years. We
only do these things for very old customers.
Put yourself in my hands and ten more
mundane years of life shall be yours.'"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Here my grandpapa broke off to chuckle,
which he did very heartily. Then he took
snuff, and it dropped about his shirt-front,
where the poached egg had already fallen, and
imparted to the dear old man his usual
appearance.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"'What are the terms, Nick?' I asked,"
continued grandpapa. "'The ordinary terms,
Daniel,' he answered. 'This is a little private
speculation of my own, and I want to point out
the beauties of it to you, because it's a bit out
of the common, even for me. You see, Daniel,
as a rule we grant these extensions only to
gentlemen in dire distress--on the days before
executions and so forth. But in your case you
might justly consider that no offer of increased
life was worth accepting. You are right.
More it would be. A man cannot get any
solid satisfaction out of life after he is a
hundred years old. The body at that age is a
mere clog; eating and drinking become a farce;
the pleasures of sense are dead. As to brain,
even that's only a broken box full of tangled
threads. Intellectual enjoyments are no longer
for you. Not, of course, that they were ever
your strong point. You can only sit in the
chimney corner now, and blink and sleep, and
wait for Death to come and roll you over with
his pole-axe, like the worn-out old animal you
are. No, you shan't grow older, Dan, you
shall grow younger if you please. You shall
cram another lifetime into the ten years which
I promise. Each of them will extend over
a period of ten earthly years. That is the
offer. It should work out well for both of
us. Read this. I had the thing drafted; in
fact, I did it myself to save time.' Then he
handed me a form of agreement duly stamped."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"My dear grandpapa, what an extraordinary
nightmare!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"It was. I read the bond critically, and, for
reasons which I cannot now remember,
determined to sign it."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Grandfather!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, it was only a dream. Ten years
more life, remember. That was worth a slight
sacrifice."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"A </span><em class="italics">slight</em><span> sacrifice, grandpapa!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Anyhow, I said I'd sign, and Nick took
a red feather out of his cap in a twinkling.
'A matter of form,' he said, 'one drop of
venous blood is all we shall require.' Then
he dug the pen into my shoulder and politely
handed it to me. 'Of course witnesses in
these cases are very inconvenient,' proceeded
Nick, 'but between gentlemen our bonds will
be sufficiently binding.' So I signed, and
he bowed and wished me joy and went up
the chimney. But a funny coincidence is that
this morning my shoulder has a round red
mark upon it like a burn."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"A flea, dearest one."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Possibly. In fact that is how I explained
it to myself. As you know, a dream often
occupies the briefest flash of time, and it may
be that some chance insect biting my shoulder
produced a moment's irritation, and was
responsible for the entire vision. But I still
think it may have been that tapioca pudden.
Mind you are more careful with my food in
the future."</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="in-the-cupboard"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER II.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">IN THE CUPBOARD.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>We laughed the matter off, and should
probably have forgotten all about it
but that grandpapa suffered a great deal of
inconvenience with his shoulder. The round,
red mark gathered and grew very painful.
Indeed it only yielded to a long course of
bread poultices. Thanks to tonics, however,
he soon recovered his health; and then it
seemed that his splendid constitution had
almost enabled him to take a new lease of life.
He actually gained strength instead of losing
it, and his faculties became clearer if anything.
We lived in Ealing, Middlesex, at the time,
and when my grandpapa's health was thoroughly
re-established, his medical man wrote to the
</span><em class="italics">Lancet</em><span>, and a deputation waited on my
grandfather from the local Liberal Club to
congratulate him. The dear old fellow became quite a
celebrity in his way, and, what is more, there
was no backsliding; he went to church with
me every Sunday in a bath chair, and at home
he kept his temper better, and nearly always
did what he was told.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>But six months after his birthday the
thunder-cloud burst upon our little home. I
was sitting in the parlour, doing household
accounts, and grandpapa was in his own room,
playing the flute. He had not touched this
instrument for at least five years, but to my
amazement, that afternoon he dragged it out of
some old cupboard and began to play it, with
runs and shakes and false notes, just in the old
pleasant way. He stopped suddenly, however,
after giving a very creditable rendering of the
"Old Hundredth." I feared this effort had been
too much for him, and was just hastening
upstairs when he came hurrying down and tottered
into the room. Fright and dismay sat on his
wrinkled face; his knees shook and knocked
together, his eyes protruded like a crab's, and
his poor old jaws were going like a pair of
nut-crackers, but he could not speak.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"My dearest, </span><em class="italics">what</em><span> is it?" I cried, running
to him as he subsided on the sofa. "Oh, why
will you be so active at your time of life?
You'll </span><em class="italics">kill</em><span> yourself if you go on so. What
have you done now? You've strained something
internal with that flute--I know you have."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I've found it! I've found it!" he cried,
trembling all over.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course, or else you couldn't play it," I
replied.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I've found IT," he repeated, raising his
hand wildly and waving a manuscript over his
head. "Read that--Oh, why was I ever
born? Read it, I tell you. It's a real
agreement, on parchment, not a nightmare at all.
He's got the other, no doubt; the one I
signed. I've bartered away my immortal soul
for ten more years of horrible life, and </span><em class="italics">I'm
growing younger every moment!</em><span>"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Where did this come from?" was all I
could say, taking a parchment scroll from my
grandpapa's shaking hand.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"It fell out of the cupboard where I keep
my flute music," he groaned. "Read it, read
it slowly, aloud. Is there any escape? It
seems very loosely worded. Oh why, why
didn't Jack live? He would have got me out
of this appalling fix if anybody could."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Jack, or John, was my father--a very able
solicitor; but what law is capable of coping with
utterly unprincipled people who live in another
world? I read the thing. It was written in
English, and signed with a strange scrawl, like
a flash of black lightning. Attached to it hung
a seal of flame-coloured wax. To show my
unhappy grandparent's exact position I had
better transcribe this document. Thus it ran:</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>"Know all men, and others, by these presents that
in consideration of a compact, signed, sealed, and
delivered by Daniel Dolphin, of No. 114, Windsor
Road, Ealing, County of Middlesex, England, I
hereby undertake to provide him with certain years
of life, to the number of ten, over, above, and beyond
the number (of one hundred) which it was originally
predestined that he should exist. And, further, it is
to be noted, observed, and understood that each of
the said ten years hereinbefore abovementioned shall
embrace a period of life formerly extending over a
decade of ordinary mundane years; and it is also
understood, granted, and agreed that the
aforementioned Daniel Dolphin do henceforth and
hereafter grow younger instead of older, which provision
I hereby undertake for the reason that human life
protracted beyond a century, ceases to give the
possessor thereof pleasure or gratification in any
sort."</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>Then followed the date, the signature, and
an address, which need not be insisted upon,
but which was sufficiently clear.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"What does it mean, grandpapa?" I asked faintly.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Mean?" he screamed, "it means that in
less than ten years' time I shall be a
bald-headed baby again. It means that I shall live
a hundred years in ten and </span><em class="italics">go backwards</em><span> all
the while. It means I'm faced with about the
most hideous prospect ever heard of. And
I've got nothing to make me suffer with
Christian fortitude either, for look at the end of
it! It's a shameful programme--frightful and
demoniacal: ten years of the most fantastic
existence that ever a devil designed, and
then--then </span><em class="italics">my</em><span> part of the bond has to be complied
with. This is the result of turning over a new
leaf at ninety-five. Why didn't I go on as I
was going, and only reform on my death-bed
like other people?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>My grandfather sat in a haggard heap on the
sofa, cried senile tears, wrung his bony hands,
and, I regret to say, used the only language
which was in his opinion equal to describing
his shocking discovery. I procured brandy
and water, tried to say a few hopeful words,
and then went out to seek professional aid of
some sort.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I was a woman of fifty then--accounted
practical and far-seeing too. But the terror of
this stupendous misfortune fairly set my mind
in a whirl and quite clouded my generally lucid
judgment. I hardly knew where I should
apply. My thoughts wavered between a
clergyman, a doctor, and a solicitor. In some
measure it seemed a case for them all. Finally
I determined to speak to our Vicar. He was
an old man, and mainly responsible for
grandpapa's conversion. I must have been quite
hysterical by the time I reached the vicarage.
At any rate, all I can remember is that I sank
down in Mr. Murdoch's study, and wept bitterly
and sobbed out:</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Such a dreadful thing--such a dreadful
thing. Grandpapa's growing younger every
minute; and he's gone and sold himself to the
Devil!"</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="cold-comfort"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER III.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">COLD COMFORT.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>Mr. Murdoch came round and saw
my poor grandpapa at once. He was
a pompous, kind-hearted man, but proved of
little service to us, being unpractical, and
unable apparently to grasp the horrid facts.
Grandpapa felt better, and rather more hopeful
when we returned to him; but I fear that
alcohol alone was responsible for his improved
spirits. I usually kept the brandy locked up,
because the dear old man never would understand
that it should only be taken as medicine;
but I forgot to remove it before going for the
Vicar, and grandpapa had helped himself.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Here's a rum go!" he said, as Mr. Murdoch
arrived, with his face a yard long.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"My poor friend, my dear Dolphin, I cannot
believe it; I refuse to credit it."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Read that then," said grandfather, kicking
the Agreement across the room with his felt
slipper. Mr. Murdoch puzzled over it.
Presently he dropped the thing and smelt his
gloves.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"It has an evil odour," he said. Then he
sighed and shook his head and seemed more
concerned for the parish than for grandpapa.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"That such a thing should have happened
in Ealing, of all places, is a source of
unutterable grief to me," murmured the Vicar.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Smother Ealing!" piped out poor grandpapa.
"Think of </span><em class="italics">me</em><span>! Generalities are no good.
Be practical if you can. Is it a ghastly hoax or
a hideous fact? Hasn't anything of the kind
ever happened before? And couldn't
something be done to wriggle out of it? Regard
the thing professionally. You're always talking
about fighting the Evil One. Well, here's a
chance to do it."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I shall mention the matter in my private
devotions," said Mr. Murdoch mildly.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Don't do anything of the sort," snapped
back grandpapa. "This affair shan't get about
if I can help it--least of all in the next world.
If you can't do anything definite, keep quiet.
It must not be known. I believe the thing's a
paltry joke myself. I don't feel a day
younger--not an hour. We shall see. I'm going to
let Nature take its course for six months more;
then I shall be a hundred and one, or else only
ninety, if this dastardly Deed speaks the truth.
Then, should I find I'm growing younger, I
shall take steps and see George Lewis, and the
Bishop of London, and Andrew Clark. I'll
back them to thrash this thing out for me
anyhow. Meanwhile, please refrain from alluding
to the subject anywhere. Give me some more
brandy, Martha."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>So Mr. Murdoch, promising to preserve
absolute silence, went away like a man
recovering from a bad dream, and grandpapa,
having taken a great deal more spirit than
was good for him, slumbered uneasily on the sofa.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>In his dreams I could hear him wrangling with
something supernatural, and evidently getting
the worst of the argument. "It's too bad," I
heard him say. "It's simple sharp practice to
jump on an old man like me, and make him
sign a one-sided thing like that when he was
half asleep!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>The cook and I presently helped the unhappy
old sufferer to bed. Then, locking up the
Agreement, I sat down to think. We were
alone in the world, grandpapa and I. He
looked to me for everything, and I devoted my
life to him. In person I was a plain woman,
with simple tastes and a tolerable temper. My
life had been uneventful up to the present time,
but it looked as though a fair share of earthly
excitement lay before me now. I tried to
picture the future, and my brain reeled. I saw
my grandfather renewing his youth day by day
and hour by hour. I pictured him going back
to his old, unsatisfactory ways, with nothing
whatever to check him, and nobody to speak a
word of warning. I saw Time winging
backwards with grandpapa and onwards with me.
When I was fifty-five he would be fifty; when
I was fifty-six he would be forty; when I was
fifty-seven he would be thirty, and so on. As
his future was now definitely arranged for, no
existing force of any sort remained to keep
grandpapa straight--none, at least, excepting
the police force. He would get out of my
control when he was eighty, or thereabouts.
From that time forward I shuddered for him,
and for myself. We belonged to the lower
middle-class, and had made a good many friends
since grandpapa's reformation; but now our
relations with our fellow-creatures promised to
present some rather exceptional difficulties. In
fact, I wept as I thought of the future. If I
had known a quarter of what awaited me, I
should probably have screamed also. Somehow
it was borne in upon me from the first that
we were faced with no imaginary problem.
The Agreement had a genuine, business-like
look, in spite of the loose wording.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"This woe will last ten years," I told myself.
"Then something of a definite nature must
happen to grandpapa, and I shall be left to go
into the world once more--that is, if I outlive
him, which is more or less doubtful." For his
dear sake I prayed and trusted I might be
spared to see him to the end of his complicated
existence.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Dull gloom and dread and misery settled
down upon our once happy little establishment.
Grandpapa appeared to lose all hope after the
effects of the brandy and water passed off, and
he found that I had locked up the bottle as
usual. He eyed me, as though measuring his
strength against mine, but he did not attempt
any encounter then. From that time forward
he spent the greater part of his days worrying
in front of the looking-glass and trying to find
fresh signs of infirmity and decay. He grew
morose and moody, and used some harsh
language to me because I could not observe a new
wrinkle which he alleged he had discovered.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Any fool but you could see that I'm
growing weaker every hour, both in mind and
body," he said; but the truth was that
everything pointed in the opposite direction. His
appetite for solids improved, he slept less by
day, he began to "take notice" when people
called, and showed little gleams of returning
memory. To my bitter regret he gave up
going to church, and resumed the habit of
smoking tobacco. He tried one of his old,
favourite "churchwarden" clay pipes, but it
was a failure, and he told me next morning
with delight that the thing had been too much
for him.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"That's a sign I'm growing older, anyhow,"
he declared. But he was not. I could see
the early dawn of middle-age already creeping
back over him, and sick at heart it made me.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I pass rapidly to his hundred-and-first birthday,
upon which anniversary there was a scene--the
beginning of a series. My friend Mrs. Hopkins
called to drink tea. She has a good
heart and always tries to please people. We
have known one another for many years, and
she has no secrets from me. She called, and
ate, and drank, and, in her cheery way,
congratulated grandpapa upon his appearance.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Positively, Mr. Dolphin, you grow younger
instead of older. You don't look a day more
than ninety, and I doubt if you feel as much,"
she said, very kindly.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Bah! Stuff and rubbish, woman! I feel a
thousand and look more. Don't talk twaddle
like that. It makes me sick. Personal
remarks are always common, and I'm sorry
you can allow yourself to sink to 'em."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Then he went out of the room in a pet, and
I saw that he hobbled away quite easily
without using his walking sticks at all.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Lor, Martha!" said Mrs. Hopkins. "What
corn have I trod on now? I thought the old
gentleman would have been pleased."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I explained that grandfather felt very keenly
about his age, and did not like people to
imagine that he looked any younger than was
in reality the case.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>But when she went away, he came down
again and dared me to bring any more old
women in to snigger and make jokes at his
expense, as he angrily put it.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"And another thing," said grandfather, "you
can give Jane and the cook warning, and see
about sub-letting the house. I'm leaving
Ealing at the quarter-day. Here's half a
column about me and my wonderful age in
the </span><em class="italics">West Middlesex County Times</em><span>. I'm not
going to make a curiosity and a raree show of
myself in this place for you or anybody.
They'll have me at Tussaud's Waxworks
next. We clear out of this on June 24.
I'm going back to town."</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="hidden-in-london"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER IV.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">HIDDEN IN LONDON.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>I was sorry to leave Mr. Murdoch,
Mrs. Hopkins, and other kind friends at
Ealing; but, as I always said, I did not mind
changing residences, for No. 114, Windsor
Road, was an old-fashioned dwelling house
without a bathroom, which is a great drawback.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Grandpapa's hair began to come back now,
in little silvery tufts over his ears. He also
lost something of his old stoop, and took
to using one walking-stick instead of a couple.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He grew terribly sensitive and bad-tempered
as his powers increased; and with
access of mental strength the agony and
horror of his position naturally became more
and more keen.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>We had a long conversation as to where we
should take ourselves and our secret.
Grandpapa first changed his mind about London, and
wanted to leave England. He had an
unpractical yearning to sail away and hide his
approaching manhood on some desert island;
and for my part I wish now I had fallen in
with this project, and taken the old man off to
the heart of the tropics, or the point of the
Poles, or anywhere away from civilization;
but in a weak moment I urged him to abide
by his original opinion, that the metropolis was
a place where he might best hide his approaching
transformation. I forgot my grandfather's
different weaknesses, when I made this
suggestion. I should, of course, have recollected
that the ruling passions of his life would
reassert themselves.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>However, he consented to come to town,
and away we went--suddenly, mysteriously,
without leaving any address, though not
before I had settled every outstanding
account. Our means were fortunately ample
for all moderate comforts. We took a
little house at West Kensington--No. 18,
Wharton Terrace--and there, having engaged
a cook and housemaid, we settled down to face
what problems the future might have in store
for us.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Grandpapa continued to hug his hideous
secret, nor would he suffer me to seek spiritual,
legal, or medical aid. For the present he had
abandoned his design of consulting the Bishop
of London, and the other celebrities he had
mentioned in the first agony of his discovery.
In fact, as time passed, I could see he was
trying to banish his position from his mind.
He fought against his growing strength,
and attempted excesses in the matter of
eating and drinking with a view to impair his
constitution.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Don't be chattering about the matter, for
heaven's sake!" he said to me on the occasion
of his hundred-and-second birthday. "You're
always whining and making stupid suggestions.
Do try and look cheerful, even if you don't
feel so. It's bad enough to be the sport of
fiends without having a wet blanket like you
crying and sighing about from morning till
night. You make every room in the house
damp and draughty with your groans and tears."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"You are now eighty," I said, "eighty,
according to the New Scheme, and you look
less. Are you going on without making any
effort to throw off this abominable curse? Are
you content to let matters take their backward
course? Do something--anything, I implore
you. Take some steps; </span><em class="italics">try</em><span> to stem the tide;
be a man, grandpapa!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"A man!" He laughed bitterly. "Yes,"
he continued, "a man first, then a conceited
puppy with a moustache and ridiculous clothes;
then a long-legged lout of a boy, with a pimply
face that blushes when the girls pass by; then
a little good-for-nothing devil at school; then
a fat, sweetmeat-eating child in a straw hat and
knickerbockers; then a small, red-cheeked
beast in short frocks; then a limp, putty-faced,
indiarubber-sucking, howling fragment
in long frocks; then--then--My God! It's
terrible."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He hid his old face and cried. I noticed
the blue veins that used to cover the backs of
his hands in a net-work, like the railway lines
at Clapham Junction, were dwindling. The
shiny skin was filling out; the muscles were
developing once more.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Terrible indeed, dear grandpapa; but I
will never, never, leave you."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He brushed away his tears and stood erect.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"You may do what you please. And now
I'll tell you what </span><em class="italics">I'm</em><span> going to do. No more
crying over spilt milk, anyhow. I've got eight
years left, and I'm going to use 'em. I'm a
man without a future--at least without a future
I can make or mar. Everything's settled, but
I'm free for eight years. We've got five
hundred a year; that means a principal of
fifteen thousand pounds. I shall leave you
five thousand, and spend the other ten
thousand during my lifetime."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Grandpapa!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes, I'm going to enjoy myself. It isn't
as much money as I should like, but my tastes
are fairly simple. I shall keep the bulk of
the coin until three years hence. Then I
shall be fifty. From that time, for the next
three years, until I'm twenty, I shall paint
the town red. Then, from twenty downwards,
when I shall begin to shrink very
rapidly, you may look after me again, if
you're still alive."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Thank you, grandpapa, but I shan't be.
Such a programme as you are arranging
would certainly kill me. I'm getting an old
woman now. I couldn't stand it, I couldn't
see you dragging an honoured name in the
dust. Oh, think what this is you propose to
do! What does your conscience say? What
would my father, your eldest son, have said?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"My conscience!" he cried, "a pretty sweet
thing in consciences I must have! If my
conscience couldn't keep me out of this hole
I should think he had mistaken his vocation.
You wait, that's all. I'll pay him back; I'll
give him something to do presently! I'll keep
him busy. I guess he'll be about the most
over-worked conscience, even in London,
before long."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>It was in this bitter and irreligious way that
grandpapa had now taken to talk. He picked
up all the modern slang, and waited with almost
fiendish impatience for his strength to reach a
point when he would be able to go out once
more into the wicked world. But, of course,
the instincts and habits of old age were still to
some extent upon him. He continued to read
the political articles in the papers, and give
vent to old-fashioned reflections. He was a
Tory, left high and dry--a man who even yet
declared that the Reform Bill ought never to
have been passed.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>About every six weeks grandpapa had to
change the strength of his spectacles, for his
sight became better daily; and with it, one by
one, the wrinkles were blotted out, the hearing
grew sharper, the round, bald patch on his
head decreased, and a little grey already
sprinkled the silver of his hair.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He joined an old man's club in our
neighbourhood called the "Fossils"--"as a
preliminary canter," so he told me; and from
this questionable gathering, which met at
a hostelry in Hammersmith Broadway, he
came home at night very late, and often
so worn out and weary that he had not
strength to use his latch-key. I always let
him in, and supported him to bed on these
occasions.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Then, when he was about seventy-five,
according to the New Scheme, he kissed
Sophie, the housemaid--a most respectable
girl and engaged. She gave warning, and
I felt that poor grandpapa had now definitely
set out on his great task of "painting the
town red." This expression was often in
his mouth, and I began to dimly gather
the significance of it.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="the-people-next-door"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER V.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">THE PEOPLE NEXT DOOR.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>When the builders took a piece of
Hammersmith and called it West
Kensington, no doubt they did a wise thing.
I think a house in West Kensington sounds
very genteel myself, and Wharton Terrace
was an exceptionally genteel row even for
that neighbourhood. Young men went off
to the City from it every morning, and
young women walked out an hour later, with
little string bags, to do the shopping and
arrange nice dinners, and so on. They were
mostly youthful married couples in Wharton
Terrace. One end of the row was not
quite completed yet, but the other extremity
had been finished two years, and there were
already perambulators in the areas at that
end. When perambulators set in, I notice
that the window-boxes begin to get shabby,
and the pet cats have to look after their own
welfare.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>At No. 16, next door to us (for the numbers
ran even on one side of the road, odd upon the
other), were some very refined people, who
called on me the day after Mrs. Hopkins drove
over to see us from Ealing, in a hired
brougham. Grandpapa said, in his cynical
way, that they supposed the brougham was
Mrs. Hopkins's own, and that, for his part, he
didn't want to know the neighbours. But he
soon changed his mind.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>The Bangley-Browns were four in family:
a widowed mother, florid, ample, sixty,
convincing in manner, full of the faded splendours
of a past prosperity; two daughters, also
florid and ample, but quite refined with it;
and a son of thirty, who worked in a lawyer's
office by day, and toiled at the banjo of
an evening. They used to keep their
drawing-room blind up at night, so that people
passing might see pink lamp-shades throwing a
beautiful reflection on their pretty things; and
at such times the Misses Bangley-Brown would
sit in graceful attitudes in their evening toilets,
and Mr. Bangley-Brown, who wore a velvet
coat after dinner, would play the banjo and
sing. There was often quite a little audience
outside on the pavement to watch them. They
were most high-bred gentlepeople, and one
could see at a glance that evil fortune alone
brought them to Wharton Terrace.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>The head of the family became very friendly
with me. Her husband had been most unfortunate
in speculations on the Stock Exchange.
They were the Sussex Bangley-Browns, not
the Essex people, so she explained. She asked
me if we were related to the Derbyshire
Dolphins, and seemed disappointed when I
informed her that we had been Peckham Rye
Dolphins until the past five years.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>She took a great fancy to grandpapa, and he
showed pleasure in her society. I cannot
expend time on their gradual increase of friendship,
but it did increase rapidly, and I believe,
towards the end of it, that grandpapa had no
secrets from Mrs. Bangley-Brown--none, that
is, excepting the one awful mystery of the
New Scheme. But he told her about his
money and position, and she, taking him to be
a well-preserved man of seventy-five or so, met
him half-way. Already the old love for the
sex was beginning to reappear in my grandfather.
It soon became a very trying sight for
me. Grandfather constantly dropped in at
No. 16 after dinner, and sat under the reflection
of the pink lamp-shades, and behaved in a
manner which might have been gallant, but
was also most painful under the circumstances.
The two poor girls soon confided in me. They
saw whither things were drifting. "It would
never do," said they, "for your father[#] to marry
our mother. Such marriages are not happy,
and do not end well." I assured them that I
was of the same opinion.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="noindent pfirst"><span class="small">[#] </span><em class="italics small">Father</em><span class="small">. I may say here that, in public, I now posed
as grandpapa's daughter. I was averse to the deception, but
he insisted. "I'm not going to have you giving me away at
the very start," he said. Our relationship changed every two
years at first; afterwards, more rapidly.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>"There are sufficient reasons why such a
match should not take place. Indeed, I cannot
think my father contemplates any such action,"
I said.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"What does he contemplate then?" asked
Florence Bangley-Brown. "He constantly
gets us theatre tickets and so on, and I
believe pays Fred to take us off out of
the way. He haunts the house. He buys
us all sorts of presents. It must mean something."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I knew well enough what it meant. It
meant a move. It was high time we left West
Kensington: the pilgrimage must be begun.
Like Noah's dove, there would probably be no
more rest for the soles of our feet until the end
of dear grandpapa--according to the New Scheme.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="retreat"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER VI.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">RETREAT.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>I had it out with him after breakfast, on
the morning which followed my conversation
with the Bangley-Brown girls. He took
it better than I expected, and seemed more
amused than angry.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"She is a fine woman, and would be a
satisfaction to me for quite six months. Then
she'd pall. I only realised last night that she
was not growing younger. Whereas I am. I
realised it about two minutes after I'd proposed."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"'Proposed'! Oh, grandpapa!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes, while the gals were in here. Bless
you, Martha, the gals begin to interest me
more than the mother now."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"But she--Mrs. Bangley-Brown--what did she say?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"What do you think? Jumped at it. Was
half in my lap before I'd finished. You're
quite right: she's not the woman for me.
We'll up anchor before there's trouble, and
away. I don't care how soon we go."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>It was fully time. Apart from the
monstrous step my grandfather had taken, his
own condition threw us more and more open
to comment. The servants noticed it, and
imagined the old man got the effect with
hair-dyes and cosmetics. But as a matter of
fact, every change was in the ordinary, or
rather extraordinary course which Nature now
pursued with grandpapa.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He was on thorns to be off after his
engagement became known. "There's no fool like
an old fool," he said. "I hope I shall soon
outgrow this sort of weakness. Marriage
indeed! I rather think my time will be too fully
occupied during the next few years to waste
much of it on a wife."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>So he resigned his membership of the
"Fossils," avoided Mrs. Bangley-Brown as
much as was possible under the circumstances,
and sent me out into the suburbs to find a new
house. I pointed out the needless expense of
such a course; I explained that furnished
lodgings would much better meet the case.
What was the good of taking another house,
which we should certainly have to vacate in a
year? I explained that three moves were
generally held to be as bad as a fire, and so
forth. In fact, I used every argument I could
think of, but he was firm.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Find a house, and be smart," he said.
"This old hen-dragon's beginning to worry me
to name the day. We'll flit by night. And
when you do get diggings, better keep the
address extremely dark. I don't want my
approaching manhood to be spoilt by the
shadow of Mother Bangley-Brown."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Thus did he speak of a loving, if ample
woman, to whom but a short fortnight before
he had offered his heart and fortunes. The
Misses Bangley-Brown cut me after the
engagement was announced, and, for my part,
I was glad of it. It prevented the necessity
for prevarication, or perhaps untruth, because
I could not have told them that I was going
to take grandpapa away, though doubtless
they would have helped me to do so very
gladly.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>But for the time I escaped much deliberate
falsehood, although I already saw, with a
horrified prophetic eye, the awful pitfalls which
lay before me. Grandpapa was dragging me
down with him. My religion, my morals, my
probity--nothing would avail. If I spent the
next eight years with him, it appeared certain
that I should spend eternity with him also.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I felt myself gradually drifting away on to
the broad, downward road with grandpapa.
And yet I would not leave him--I could not do
so. His horribly defenceless condition made
me feel it must be simple cruelty to let him
fight this awful battle alone. And I will say
for grandpapa that, now and then, he quieted
down and picked his language, and had beautiful
thoughts about the solemnity of his position.
At such times he was goodness itself to me.
He thanked me for my attention, for the
courageous way in which I clung to him, for
my cool judgment, and invaluable advice.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Be sure, Martha, that you will reap your
reward some day," he said. "Such attachment
and devotion to a suffering grandparent
will not be forgotten."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I thought so too. If ever a woman deserved
some consideration hereafter, I was she; but,
as I have said, I began to fear that blind
support of grandpapa would only serve to place
me, in the long run, under conditions of eternal
discomfort with the poor old man himself. Of
course, he never talked about his own future,
and I felt, under the circumstances, that it
would be bad taste for me to do so.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>We went to Chislehurst, a pretty suburb in
which I hoped that grandpapa would occupy
himself with the beauties of Nature, and dig
in the garden and plant seeds, and watch them
come up, and be quiet and good. But though
he accompanied me willingly enough to the
little red-brick, modern, 'Queen Anne'
residence I found there, he refused to dig in the
garden, or plant seeds, or be quiet and good.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>It was one of his bad days when I suggested
horticultural operations.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Seeds be shot!" he said. "I shall set
about sowing my wild oats pretty soon--that's
the only gardening for me!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He had not threatened to paint the town red
since we left it, but now his constant allusion
to wild oats caused me much uneasiness.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He was not interested in the works of
Nature, but showed a craving to get into
society. Nobody called, however, and I was
glad enough that people did not come to see
us. The longer we were left alone, the longer
we should be able to stop there. But
grandpapa was now fast reaching an age when no
mere passive part on life's stage would suit him.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I must be up and doing," he said to me.
"'Satan finds some mischief still,' etc.," he
added, with an unpleasant laugh. "You know
the rest."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I only wish you would try and occupy
yourself in a profitable way, dear grandpapa,"
I said, ignoring the allusion, which, to say the
least, was unhappy.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm going to," he answered. "I've got
eighteen months yet before I'm fifty. For
that period of time we shall be able to stop
here. And I'm going to take up pursuits fit
for my age. I'm going to do a bit of good if I can."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>It was an answer to my prayers, no doubt.
But for all that I could scarcely believe my ears.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"You are going to teach in the Sunday-school!"
I cried with sudden conviction,
flinging myself on my knees beside my dear
old hero.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Get up," he said, "and don't be an idiot.
I'm going to run for the Local Board; and if
I get on, as I think I shall, I'll raise Cain in
this place. We're all asleep here."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>The Chislehurst air, which is bracing, had
simply taken years off my grandfather's life,
and I was conscious that he would make
himself heard on the Local Board pretty
loudly if they really elected him. This, I
doubted not, was what he meant by the
peculiar idiom that he would raise Cain. The
old man was always picking up new expressions
now. His refined, old-world diction had
almost entirely departed from his tongue.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="vote-for-dolphin"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER VII.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span class="bold medium">"</span><em class="bold italics medium">VOTE FOR DOLPHIN.</em><span class="bold medium">"</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>"The truth is," said grandpapa, "that I
have got to know some of the shop
people here. Not the stuck-up cads who live
in the big houses by night and sneak up to
London to sell boots and beer and underclothing
by day; not the purse-proud rubbish that
sticks 'Esquire' after its name without any
right; but genuine people, who live over their
shops in Chislehurst, and sell boots and beer
and underclothing openly, and don't mind
admitting it. Mr. Lomax, our butcher, is
proposing me, and Rogers, the landlord of the
</span><em class="italics">Eight Bells Inn</em><span>, has seconded my nomination.
I'm going to write an address to the electors,
and leave no stone unturned to get in."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Is it worth while, my dearest?" I ventured
to ask.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course it's worth while," he answered
testily. "You're always nagging at me in a
quiet way to use my precious time; and when
I undertake a big enterprise like this you
throw cold water on it. And another thing:
it's rather doubtful taste your questioning my
actions at all. I look sixty and I feel sixty,
but I am a hundred and four and your grandfather.
Don't let appearances make you forget
that. Rogers says I'm safe to get in. Then
I shall wake this place up a bit, and say a
thing or two that wants saying."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He had Mr. Rogers and his wife and
daughter in to dine. "Socially they are
nothing," my grandpapa admitted; "but when
you're running for a public appointment you
must be all things to all men, and not disdain
to make use of mere </span><em class="italics">canaille</em><span>."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Mr. Rogers was a very vulgar, plain-spoken
man, and his wife had caught his manner.
Their daughter I liked less than them. She
allowed herself to worry too much over her
parents' ignorance. She corrected their
grammar openly; shivered ostentatiously when
they dropped an "h" or inserted the aspirate
unexpectedly; told them plainly where to use
a fork when habit and inclination led them to
employ a knife, and so forth. After the meal
we went to the drawing-room, and when her
mother had gone to sleep in a corner, Miss
Rogers told me that her parents were a source
of great sorrow to her. They had given her
an education of exceptional thoroughness and
gentility; which was weak of them, because it
enabled her to see their shortcomings, but had
not made her a lady or anything like one.
She was called Marie--christened Mary no
doubt--and she was engaged to a life insurance
agent in a fair way of business--so he said.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>This young man--one Mr. Walter Widdicombe--and
his prospective father-in-law, the
innkeeper, worked very hard on grandpapa's
behalf. Mr. Widdicombe understood canvassing,
and he gladly accepted a sovereign a day for
his expenses, and went about beating up voters
and making people promise to poll for Daniel
Dolphin. Grandpapa's election motto was
"Advance," and he wrote a manifesto in
the local paper. It was full of suggested
reforms and plain-speaking and hard hitting,
and made the old man a great many enemies.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>If grandfather had been a peaceful,
unassertive person, he might have slunk through
those terrible years of his existence without
attracting undue attention; if he had even
been a moral and fairly religious man, his
position (and mine) would have presented less
frightful complications. But he began to grow
more boisterous and unprincipled as his vital
energy returned. His disposition had always
been at once cantankerous and pushing, and
now the circumstance of his prospects only
embittered and accentuated the worse traits in
his character. He was reckless, unbound by
any ordinary guiding and controlling views of
this life or the next, simply determined to
"make the running," "go it up to the knocker,"
and so on. The expressions, of course, are
his own. I was ignorant of their exact
meaning until he practically illustrated them.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Grandpapa got in by twenty votes, after a
great struggle. He gave a dinner, to men
only, at the </span><em class="italics">Eight Bells</em><span>. They had a large
public room there, used for important occasions;
and ladies were allowed to sit in a little gallery
which ran round it, and listen to the speeches
and watch their heroes dine. The same thing
is done on a bigger scale by more important
people.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I sat by Miss Rogers, who nearly fell out of
the gallery on to the table below when her
papa began to eat peas with a knife. She
suffered also during his speech, which was
faulty in manner, though I thought the matter
excellent. He praised grandpapa's good
qualities, noted his fiery, manly spirit, hinted
that in approaching old institutions the reformer
must begin with caution and the thin end of
the wedge. But grandpapa showed by the
tone of certain remarks, in which he responded
to the toast of his health, that "caution" was
not going to be his watchword by any means.
He was flushed with success, and hardly looked
a day more than fifty. He alluded to the
"bright-eyed angels" hovering above him in
the gallery, and hinted at garden parties in our
back garden, and made me extremely uncomfortable
by ordering a dozen of champagne
to be sent up to us.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I left him smoking cigars, and getting very
noisy and excited. He came home at half-past
one o'clock, between Mr. Rogers and
Mr. Lomax, our butcher. I need not dwell upon
his condition. I saw everything in the
moonlight through my Venetian blind. One of his
supporters found grandfather's latch-key and
opened the door with it. Then both dragged
him up to his room and went home, shutting
the front door behind them. Grandpapa was
very poorly indeed during the night, but
refused my aid. I offered to fetch a medical
man, but he told me to let him alone and go
and bury myself. Of course I could not
disguise the truth. Grandpapa had taken too
much to drink. The thought went through
me like a knife. Indeed, I cried all night, and
when I rose my pillow was still wet with tears.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>In the morning he was looking ten years
older, and for a short time I thought and hoped
the New Scheme had broken down. But, after
a glass of brandy and soda-water, he brightened
up, and his headache went off. He declared
that he had enjoyed himself extremely, spent
a royal night, and felt all the better for it.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I find," he said, "that I don't care a straw
for wine yet, but the old taste for spirits has
come back. We must get in a few gallons at
once. And cigars, too; I'm taking to cigars
again."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He was rather sulky when I did up his
accounts, but he considered it money well
spent. Then he put on his hat and went out
"to see the boys."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He came back in a terrible rage, and used
three new expletives, and hinted at murder.
It appeared that his defeated rivals on the
Local Board had lodged a protest against him
for bribery and corruption. Grandpapa nearly
went mad with rage. He knocked a man
down in the open street, and was summoned
and appeared at a police court, and had to be
bound over to keep the peace. Finally he
lost his seat on the Local Board, the case
going against him; and as he dashed into the
kitchen, where I was showing the cook how
to make something, he absolutely foamed at
the mouth. He threatened to buy dynamite,
to blow Chislehurst to the skies, to destroy
his political opponents with poison. Then he
talked seriously of ending his own existence,
from which step I dissuaded him, feeling at
the same time, that he could hardly make
worse arrangements for his future than he
had already done. After dinner on that day
he said he should give up trying to do good,
and he kept his word. He took to living at
the </span><em class="italics">Eight Bells</em><span>, and to writing insulting letters
to the local papers. One of these cost him a
hundred pounds in a libel action. Then (and
I was not sorry for it) he found some brown
hair on his head. This threatened to spread
and attract attention, so I considered that the
time had come for us to make another move,
and begin life upon a new plan with altered
relationships.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="marie-rogers"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER VIII.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">MARIE ROGERS.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>Heaven knows that I do not wish to
show up grandpapa in this narrative,
or make the unhappy old sufferer appear worse
than he was. Indeed, my desire is to write
with a dispassionate pen, to state facts, and
leave scientists, legal experts, and students of
ethics to draw their own conclusions. But I
do not intend that anything shall blind me to
what I owe my grandpapa; and I will say that
in the matter of Marie Rogers he was not
entirely to blame. The girl set her cap at
him, haunted him in the tap-room at her
father's place of entertainment, sent him
flowers, gushed about him to me, and did
everything she could to flatter his vanity.
This had always been extremely easy. He
was still old enough to feel tickled by the
attention of a woman of thirty. Miss Rogers
had a childish prettiness of manner, which
might have been effective when she was
younger, but struck me as rather ridiculous
now. She talked young and dressed young,
and pretended a general ignorance of the
seamy side of the world which took in my
grandpapa completely. No doubt it had
similarly deceived the life insurance agent.
That young man lost his temper with Miss
Rogers over the matter of my grandpapa, and
received short notice in consequence.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Gad!" said grandfather, "it's very gratifying--an
old buffer of a hundred and six to cut
out this youngster. What d' ye think of
her, Martha? Not a day older than thirty--eh?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I think you are on the verge of a
volcano, grandpapa. You are doing a most
dangerous thing by stopping here. Already
people laugh at your new piebald wig, as
they call it. You ought to have left
Chislehurst three months ago, as I urged you at
the time."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, well, let 'em laugh. Who cares?
I'm sure I don't. This girl takes my fancy,
and that's a fact. She's in love with me,
and can't hide it, and Rogers hasn't any objection."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course not; he knows what you're worth."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I've been wondering if I could run away
with her and marry her somewhere in
Scotland," said grandpapa, winking at me. I did
not understand the wink, and asked him what
he meant.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"It doesn't matter," he answered, "only she
might get tired of me when I grow younger;
and I myself might fancy something a little
fresher later on."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Once and for all," I said, "this inclination
towards matrimony is reprehensible and must
be crushed, dear grandpapa. I implore of you
to fight against it. Don't let every woman
you meet fool you into a declaration. Do be
circumspect; for Heaven's sake, look on ahead."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"It's brutal always asking me to do that,"
he answered, shedding tears, for it was one
of his maudlin days; "I don't want to look
ahead. The future can take care of itself.
I'm spoiling for somebody who would be a
comfort to me at home--somebody who would
take a bright view of things and not always
be ramming the future down my throat, like
you do. I see no reason why I should not marry."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Then let me give you some," I answered
desperately. "You must remember what lies
in store. No woman shall suffer as I have
suffered and am suffering. This girl, Marie
Rogers, is thirty or more; you are--say,
five-and-fifty. In four years' time you will be
</span><em class="italics">fifteen</em><span>! You cannot get away from that. The
horrible fact is reached by simple arithmetic.
Imagine yourself at that age saddled with a
wife, and perhaps a family! If you can face
such a prospect with a good conscience, I
cannot. I'd rather die than see you in such
a position."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He laughed bitterly.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"What relation would you be to them, I
wonder? The brats would be your uncles
and aunts, and my wife your grandmother!
What a fool you'd look!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I couldn't see it, and for the first time since
the commencement of the New Scheme, I lost
my temper with grandpapa.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, you horrid, depraved old man!" I cried,
"will no words, or tears, or prayers, make you
pause and reflect? Cannot your only surviving
relation, your own son's child, carry any weight
with you? Would you rather have this flighty
female at your side than me? Cannot you
realise what I am doing for you, what you
would be without me? I blush for you; I
blush for your disgraceful tastes and wicked
ambitions. You, who ought to spend all your
time on your knees and in church, calling on
Providence to avert this doom! You shall not
marry. Hear me, I say, once and for all, you
shall not. If you dare to get engaged again,
I'll tell the woman's people. I'll make a clean
breast of it to Mr. Rogers. Then you'll have
to leave this place whether you like it or not.
I've done a great deal for you, but I'm only
human, and you've stung me beyond endurance
to-day. Let us have no repetition of this
terrible conversation. Make your choice once
for all. Take Marie Rogers, or let me stay
with you, and fight for you. But you cannot
have both of us."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He was rather cowed by my vehemence.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Of course, if you're going to make such a
a fuss, I must debate with myself," he said.
"Only it's rather awkward now. Why
didn't you speak sooner? You must have
seen the woman adoring me for the last six
weeks."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I gave you credit for a certain amount of
proper feeling," I answered.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"That was weak," he said. "I've made a
law unto myself lately. As a matter of fact
we are engaged. I popped the question
yesterday in the bar-parlour, and she cried
and asked me to see the old man. He was
delighted. I didn't explain things to him, but
it's a very good bargain--for Marie. She'll
have a rum time of it certainly for five years
and six months; then I shall fade away, or be
carried off in a fiery chariot or something, and
she can take the money. Still, I may be doing
a foolish thing. My tastes are changing so
readily. I'm certain to drop my eye on
something more up-to-date as soon as I'm
booked to her."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I implore you, grandpapa, to throw her
over. She doesn't love you. She is marrying
you for your money. Her regard will never
stand against the shock of finding out the New
Scheme. She will confide in others and ruin
your peace of mind. Possibly she will run
away altogether when you begin to--to shrink,
as you must. I, on the contrary, am prepared
to face everything. Tear her image from your
heart! Fight the passion and conquer it.
Rest on me!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>My grandpapa smoked and drank whisky,
while I sat up into the small hours and argued
with him.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I believe you're right," he said at last.
"I can't face the girl, nor yet her father now;
but I really think we'd better drop the
connection. Socially, of course, it's not satisfactory
at all. No doubt young Widdicombe, the life
insurance agent, will come back when I'm
gone. Yes, we'd better make tracks, perhaps.
She hasn't got anything in writing. Besides,
I'm sick of this place. I've quarrelled with
pretty nearly everybody in it, and I'm owing
some money too--some debts of honour--that
I think I can wriggle out of paying. I'll try
and forget Marie. We'll 'shoot the moon'
before quarter-day."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>By "shooting the moon," my grandpapa
explained that he employed a well-known
technicality which meant leaving Chislehurst
at night, in an abrupt manner, without
letting our departure be known beforehand
or advertising our new address in the local
newspapers, or even mentioning it at the post-office.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="in-london-once-more"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER IX.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">IN LONDON ONCE MORE.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>Of course, a hale man with a strong will of
his own, numerous vices, rapidly-decreasing
years, and strong, if misplaced, convictions,
was more than an unmarried, inexperienced,
woman of my age could be expected to manage.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>As time progressed I gave up attempting to
reform grandpapa, and simply contented myself
with praying that he might complete his career
without falling into absolute crime. The
thought of seeing him in a felon's dock at the
last haunted me like a nightmare. He would
get younger and less familiar with the wicked
ways of the world daily. As a young man, he
was one for whom traps, snares, and pitfalls had
never been set in vain. When he reached a
hundred and eight he would look and feel
twenty years of age under the New Scheme.
Then, how probable that the poor old man
might fall a prey to some iniquitous schemer!
I told him my fears, and he sneered bitterly,
and said:</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes, a pretty old cough-drop I should
look, shouldn't I, being sentenced to penal
servitude for life--at a hundred and nine
years of age? Then you'd see an advertisement
in the papers, 'Wanted, at Portland
Prison, a wet nurse for the notorious forger
and embezzler, Daniel Dolphin.' Bless you,
Martha, there's some real fun in store for you
and me yet."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I cried and begged him not to say such
things. It was a horrible thought, and yet had
a ray of comfort in it, that if I could only
keep the old man fairly straight for the next
five years, or less, he would then be at my
mercy again. By that time somebody would
certainly have to be a second mother to
grandpapa.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>We "shot the moon" on a night when there
was none. Our next move took us back to
town. I hired a little flat, No. 1, Oxford
Mansions, a snug place enough, near Earl's
Court. According to custom, we left no
address behind us, and began life anew. I
was obliged to drop all my old friends in
Peckham Rye and Ealing for grandpapa's sake.
I had met Mrs. Hopkins at Whiteley's, and
told her the old man was dead. She pressed
me to come and see her, and I answered that
I would write. Then I hastened away to the
Drugs Department, leaving her in the
Haberdashery, astonished and disappointed. My
heart sorrowed, for I loved the good woman;
but there was nothing else to be done. On
another occasion grandpapa took me to the
Royal Figi Exhibition at Earl's Court, and we
ran right on top of the Bangley-Browns. The
girls recognised me, and whispered to their
mother; but, of course, they did not know
grandpapa. He was twenty years younger
than when they last saw him. Mrs. Bangley-Brown
turned very red, and sailed towards me;
but I dodged with my grandpapa round a
refreshment building, and then dragged him
through a crowd to the entrance of the
Exhibition, finally escaping in a hansom cab.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"What do I care?" he said. "I'd like to
have spoken to her again. I spotted 'em before
you did. She wasn't half a bad old bounder.
Those gals don't go off apparently; too much
torso and not enough tin, eh?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>In this painful style did the old man speak
of two perfect ladies, whose only crime was a
hereditary inclination to </span><em class="italics">enbonpoint</em><span>. I toned
him down when I could, but he rarely listened
to me now. It was as his sister that I posed
at No. 1, Oxford Mansions. He had grown
into a very corpulent, big-bearded man. He
wore white waistcoats, and followed fashion,
and took particular pains with his person. He
abandoned politics and began to develop
interest in City affairs. Once he brought home
a new friend who he said was on the Stock
Exchange--a most gentlemanly, polite
individual, who treated me with a courtesy and
consideration to which I had long been a
stranger. After he had gone, grandpapa told
me he was somebody of great importance.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"He's floating a fine scheme that's got
thousands in it," he explained. "We dined
at Richmond with some friends last week, and,
coming home in the drag, Phil Montague--that's
his name--let me into a secret or two,
and promised me shares. Mind, Martha, I'm
doing this for you. Don't say I never think
of you. When I'm gone, you'll draw many a
fine dividend from the 'Automatic Postcard
Company.' And when you draw 'em, think of
me, far away--probably frying."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Mr. Phil Montague called again, and, finally,
I know that grandpapa took at least a thousand
pounds of his capital out of Something Three
Per Cents, and put them into Automatic
Postcards. Then he suddenly determined to go upon
the Stock Exchange himself. I think that he
would have carried out this mad project, but
other affairs distracted his attention. Hardly
was the company of Mr. Phil Montague well
floated when that gentleman called again, dined
by invitation, and broached a new scheme to
grandpapa.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>This man represents my own greatest failure
as a student of character. I was utterly
deceived in him. He simply laid himself out
to deceive me. Doubtless he felt that if he
could get me on his side he would be able to
deal with grandpapa all the more easily.
Outwardly Mr. Montague was both religious and
modest; which qualities, openly paraded in a
stockbroker, appeared very beautiful to me.
He also quoted Scripture, not ostentatiously,
but evidently from habit. He constantly
alluded to his dead mother, and told me that
he took exotics to her grave at Brompton
every second Sunday afternoon. How many
financiers would do that? He never talked
business in front of me, and I found after he
had known my grandpapa about a month that
the old man began to grow very secretive and
peculiar. A cunning furtive look appeared
in his eye; he was away from home--in the
City and elsewhere--a great deal; he avoided
discussion of his affairs as far as possible.
Once I asked him some question about
Mr. Montague's own status, and he laughed, and
answered in bad taste--</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Spoons, eh? Well, Martha, old chip, I
believe he's gone on you, too, or else he's
playing the fool because he thinks it will please
me. 'Fine woman, your sister,' he said to me
last week. 'Fine for her age--she's sixty,' I
answered."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Grandfather, you </span><em class="italics">know</em><span> I'm not!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, you look it, every hour of it. But he
pretended to be surprised, and said it was
strange you hadn't made some good man happy
before now."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I think he is a very worthy, honourable
gentleman, grandfather, and I wish you would
try and be more like him."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Bless you, Phil's all right. We're great
pals. And he's got some brains under that
sanctified manner, too. We have a little bit of
fun in hand just now that means a pile for us
both, if I'm not mistaken."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>At this moment Mr. Montague himself was
announced, and, without waiting to enquire of
grandpapa whether I might do so, I asked him
boldly of what nature was his new enterprise.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="the-crusade"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER X.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">THE CRUSADE.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>"I will tell you with great pleasure, dear
Miss Dolphin," he said, in his sad, rather sweet voice.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He sat down, stroked his clean-shaven chin,
drew up his trousers that their elegant
appearance might not be spoiled by his sharp, thin
knees, and then spoke:</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Your brother and I are engaged in a
crusade. Is not that the word, Mr. Dolphin?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"As good as any other," said my grandpapa.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Better than any other. You have doubtless
heard of Monte Carlo, Miss Dolphin? It
is a plague-spot on the fair face of France.
God made the Riviera; man is responsible for
Monte Carlo. The Prince of Monaco is the
landlord, so I understand; the Prince of
Darkness is the tenant. Miss Dolphin, it is
often necessary to fight the Devil with his own
weapons. We are going to Monte Carlo with
a golden sword. Your brother finds the
sword--I wield it."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"In plain English, Martha, Montague's
worked out a dead snip----"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"A system, pardon me."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, a 'system,' that will take the stuffing
out of the strongest bank that ever robbed
innocents. We are both going."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Grandf--! Daniel! Going to Monte Carlo!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes. Don't want you. It's simply a
matter of business."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Let me explain," said Mr. Montague.
"You are rather startled, dear Miss Dolphin,
and I cannot wonder at it."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He blew his nose. His handkerchiefs and
shirt-cuffs and so on were always beautiful.
He said:</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"The facts are these. I have had an
inspiration. Heaven has from my earliest youth
been pleased to bestow upon me certain
mathematical gifts denied to most men. This
power of dealing with figures was not given
me for nothing. It is a talent not to be hidden
in a napkin."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"No fear," said grandpapa.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I have long been seeking some outlet for
my peculiar ability, and I have at length found
it. In my hand is a power, that rightly
exercised, will extinguish one of the greatest
evils of the present day. Under Heaven I
have been mercifully permitted to discover a
system which rises naturally from certain
processes in the higher mathematics. This
system applied to the laws which govern chance
produces a most startling result. It annihilates
chance altogether, and substitutes certainty.
Do I make myself clear?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Clear as crystal," said grandpapa, chuckling.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"A lady can hardly be interested in my
deductions, but their conclusions, their practical
results, will not fail to interest her," continued
Mr. Montague. "My system, once grasped
and accepted, becomes a law, and the effect of
that law must be a revolution in human society.
Think, dear Miss Dolphin, of a world from
which all element of chance is eliminated!
The vices of gambling and betting vanish.
Mathematics will rise superior to human
roguery. We know when to expect red or
black--I refer to card-playing; we know
which horse ought to win every race, and if
it doesn't we know where to throw the blame;
we know everything; we are become as gods!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"But what has that to do with Monte Carlo,
sir?" I ventured to ask.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Good old Martha! Go up one," said grandpapa.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Then Mr. Montague turned to me and
answered my question.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I expected you would ask that, Miss
Dolphin, and I gladly explain. Monte Carlo
is the headquarters of this pestilential passion,
this love of gambling which dominates mankind.
We are going to begin a crusade there,
and fight against the most powerful troops the
enemy has at command."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"That's so! I'm planking down a thousand;
and we're goin' to play a big game and make
some of 'em hop, and wish they had never been
born," said grandpapa.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"In other and more seemly words, Miss
Dolphin, we design to crush Monte Carlo, to
wipe that blot from the fair face of France.
The gambling hell shall be no more; treachery,
falsehood, knavery shall cease out of the land."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"And we'll come home with flags flying,
in a triumphal car drawn by oof-birds," said
grandpapa.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"That, of course, is a circumstance incidental
to the scheme," explained Mr. Montague to
me. "You do not understand your brother,
naturally enough, but what he means is that a
large sum of money will accrue to us. With
this wealth we shall develop my system, and
place it within the reach of the misguided
speculators of all countries."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Grandpapa exploded with noisy laughter, and
patted Mr. Montague on the back.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Why not do so first?" I asked. "Why not
publish this great discovery at once in the
papers?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Give it away! Good Lord, Martha--and
you a lawyer's daughter!" said grandpapa.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I would do so willingly enough," answered
Mr. Montague, "but advertisement is a costly
business. To make the system sufficiently
known would require an expenditure of many
thousands of pounds. You see no better
advertisement of it could be hit upon than
breaking the bank at Monte Carlo. We shall
go on breaking that bank until the proprietors
are ruined and the place is shut up. Then we
shall return home."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"By way of Paris," said grandpapa. "If
you like to meet us there," he added, with his
real affection for me bubbling up to the surface
of his nature, "you may; and we'll make a bit
of a splash among the frogs." But I had
never been out of England in my life, and did
not like the picture of splashing with
grandpapa in Paris. At the same time the thought
of him splashing there alone was even less
pleasant.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Mr. Montague said a few more words,
promised never to lose sight of my grandfather
and then took his leave, kissing my
hand on his departure, in a stately,
old-fashioned way which was very pleasing to me.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I could not help contrasting him with grandpapa,
to the disadvantage of the latter. They
looked about the same age, yet how different
in their conduct, language, and attitude towards
the gentler sex! One behaved, and thought,
and acted as though he was forty-five; the
other, who ought, heaven knows, to have been
old-fashioned, and staid, and sensible,
conducted himself like a fast, silly boy of
twenty-one. For about this time grandfather
began to grow young for his years, even on
the New Scheme.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He bought some showy clothes, cloth caps,
and knickerbockers, a meerschaum pipe, a
spirit-flask, and several other things at the
Army and Navy Stores. For these he
certainly paid, but he gave the people who
served him an imaginary name and ticket
number. Rather than spend five shillings in
a member's voucher, he told a lie to the
officials of-the Co-operative Society; which
I should think was very unusual. Then the
old man drew another precious thousand
pounds out of Government securities, and
went away with Mr. Montague to wipe out
Monte Carlo.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I was fearful of the entire concern, but
he told me to "keep up my pecker and
watch the papers," and so departed in roaring
spirits. The only thing which troubled
him was that his time for "blueing the
booty" would be so short. To this day I
have never met anybody who could explain
the meaning of the expression "blueing
the booty."</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="a-new-leaf-turned"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER XI.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">A NEW LEAF TURNED.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>I am a simple old woman, ready to see fine
qualities in anybody, unwilling to doubt
the honesty of fellow-creatures or the good
faith of their assertions. Therefore I am not
ashamed to confess that Mr. Montague entirely
deceived me, and turned out, not merely no
better than he should have been, but much
worse. He deceived dear grandpapa, too,
though in a different way.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I thought he was a sly beggar who 'd
found a plum in the pie," said grandfather to
me afterwards; "but it wasn't so--a mere
blackleg, a scamp, a devourer of orphans.
Break the bank? No, we didn't break the
bank, but I broke his nose, and scattered his
false teeth from one end of the Casino to the
other, and dusted the steps with him afterwards!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>These and other things grandpapa said
when he returned from Monte Carlo. I
watched the daily journals as he directed,
and so was not wholly unprepared for the
fiasco which resulted from his trip to the
Continent.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Indeed two startling items, both involving
dear grandpapa, met my eye on the same
morning, in the same copy of the </span><em class="italics">Daily
Telegraph</em><span>. Under the "agony column" of
that periodical I read as follows:--</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Wanted, address of one Daniel Dolphin.
The same to Rogers, 'Eight Bells,'
Chislehurst, will meet with a reward."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>And elsewhere, under the heading of
"Scene at Monte Carlo," occurred this
paragraph:</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"The English here are making things lively.
Two adventurers with a new 'system' began
to play last night and lost a thousand pounds
at a sitting. One appears to have been a
knave, the other a fool. When their resources
were exhausted they came to blows, and the
bigger man, presumed to be the capitalist, fell
upon his companion and thrashed him
unmercifully. It appears they had come in great
state with a flourish of trumpets; but their
'system,' like most others, though doubtless
pretty on paper, broke down at the tables.
Both men have disappeared."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Here was cause for alarm if you will. I
could not be sure that the persons mentioned
were my dear grandfather and his companion,
but somehow I always fancied that the matter
related to them. I also dimly guessed why
Mr. Rogers wanted grandpapa's address. No
doubt Marie's affections had been trifled with,
and the law possesses power to estimate the
value of such broken promises in pounds,
shillings, and pence.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I waited a fortnight without hearing a word
from grandpapa. Then he suddenly came
home, penniless and destitute of everything
but the clothes on his back. He had grown
thinner, and nearly a year younger, but his
health appeared excellent, though his memory
seemed to be impaired. Of course time was
winging backwards at such a hideous rate with
grandpapa that events, which only seemed of
yesterday to me, already grew dim in his
memory.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I sent for the tailor to come and measure
him for some new clothes, and then begged he
would tell me all that had happened. He
began immediately about Paris, but I
reminded him of Monte Carlo and Mr. Phil
Montague. Then he grew enraged, and
explained to me how he had treated that
gentleman.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I left the place next day, and slipped back
to Paris. There I've had a pretty good time,
but it's an expensive place. I kept a few
hundreds up my sleeve, you know, and after
I'd lost the 'thou.,' which simply filtered away
in a few hours, I reckoned I'd get better
money's worth with what was left. So I went
to Paris and had a gaudy fortnight."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"And now you will settle down, dearest,
won't you, and drop all this speculation and
money-making?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes, no more 'systems' for me. First
settle up, then settle down. We must bolt
out of London, anyhow."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Why, grandpapa? We are safe for six
months yet, if you keep quiet."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I haven't kept quiet," he acknowledged
frankly. "You'd better hear the truth. I'm
in a very awkward position."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Tell me everything, grandpapa. I can bear it."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, I met her in Paris."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Grandpapa! Another?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Listen. I met the woman in Paris. She
was a Russian princess, stopping at the Hotel
Bristol. She could speak English--worse
luck. So we got on. No side at all about
her. Let me take her everywhere and pay.
One of those golden-haired, expensive women,
but beautiful as a dream. Her husband still
lives somewhere in Russia. He had a row
with the Czar about her. She was nobody
herself. They were separated through no
fault of hers. She couldn't stand him because
he funked the Czar. Plucky little woman;
coming over to this country to play the harp
at the music-halls. We're engaged."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Grandpapa!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Don't criticise, I can't stand it to-day.
She's called the Princess Hopskipchoff. She
said it was the dream of her life to marry me;
that she's seen me in her sleep and that a
fortune-teller, now in Siberia, had accurately
described me to her years ago. She's twenty-five
and true as steel. Socially it would have
been a step in the right direction, though
Russian Princesses are rather a drug in the
market. But I can't marry her, of course.
I've thought better of it since we parted, and
I've had time to do up my accounts."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"You break hearts as a pastime, grandfather.
Poor woman. I'm sorry for her."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"As to that, it wasn't a love match entirely
either. She was fairly cute. I rather hoodwinked
the girl, perhaps; but all's fair in love.
I--well--I pulled, the long bow, certainly."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"You disguised your true condition?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"More than that. I hinted at twenty
thousand a year and a park."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"You will kill me, grandpapa!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"And I also told her I was a Viscount,
Viscount Dolphin, heir to the titles and
estates of the Duke of Cornwall."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Good heavens! The Prince of Wales is
the Duke of Cornwall!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Is he, begad? I'd forgotten that," said
grandpapa, with a painful, cunning look on his
face, "then she can go and worry 'em at
Marlborough House. She won't get any
information about me there. Don't you bother.
We'll smash her if she makes a row. I'll say
she's a Russian spy or something. Anyhow
the simplest way will be for us to clear out
of town altogether. I'm sick of the wickedness
of London. Every second man you meet's
a swindler or a rogue. Give me the peaceful
country--a bottle of port at the squire's
mahogany, the </span><em class="italics">Field</em><span> newspaper, a decent
mount, and pleasant feminine society. That's
good enough for me. I'm a hundred and
six in three days' time; forty by the New
Scheme. Yes, let me go and dwindle from
forty to thirty amidst quiet, rural, agricultural
surroundings."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I was delighted at this resolution. Grandpapa
henceforth appeared as my son, made me
wear a wedding-ring, and carried me away
to a little honeysuckle-covered cottage near
Salisbury.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="a-suggestion"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER XII.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">A SUGGESTION.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>When I mentioned Mr. Rogers's
advertisement to my grandfather he
buried himself in the past, and by great effort
of memory re-called his career at Chislehurst.
It began to be a puzzle to him that
time, which flew so fast where he was
concerned, should drag so extremely with the
rest of the world.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Chislehurst! Why that's twenty years
ago, or near it," he said. "The girl must
be fifty if she's a day. No judge would grant
her a hearing at all. Breach of promise
indeed! But we're perfectly safe, they
wouldn't recognise me if I walked into the
</span><em class="italics">Eight Bells</em><span> to-morrow."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>With fortunes to some extent impaired we
set off for Rose Cottage, near Salisbury.
Grandpapa had forgotten all about the
"Automatic Postcard Company," but I reminded
him of the affair, and he went to a meeting
of shareholders and said some nasty things,
and was cheered by the other victims. Of
course we lost all the money he had put in.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>And now, in the quiet country, my grandfather
made his one solitary effort towards
reformation. It lasted three weeks, and ended
in failure, and a run up to town without me.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>But grandpapa did try all he knew to be
good. He lived a blameless life, kept early
hours, became a practical teetotaler, played
a little lawn-tennis at the vicarage, and went
to church twice every Sunday. I think he
expected too much, and was too hopeful.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He said on one occasion:</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"If heaven don't take pity on me now, and
put a spoke in the New Scheme, then I shall
say Providence is simply played out. Look at
the life I'm leading. Look at the way I talk;
never a strong expression. I helped a lame
woman across the road yesterday. Is that to
count for nothing? One cigar a day, early
hours, no liquor, no language, no flirtation--why,
if I was on my death-bed I couldn't be
leading a more insipid life. It </span><em class="italics">must</em><span> tell in the
long run."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>But he only got younger and handsomer.
The early hours and exercise at lawn-tennis
did wonders. Men do not alter much between
thirty and forty as a rule, but grandpapa began
to get absolutely boyish. Half the pretty
girls in the place were in love with him.
Everybody thought he was younger than even
the New Scheme made him appear.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I felt all along that he was not conducting
his reformation on right lines, for what hope of
success could be expected when the entire
structure of his life stood on foundations of
falsehood?</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>At the end of a fortnight, finding no
improvement, he grumbled at Providence, and
slipped for a moment into his old methods
of expression. Then I made a suggestion.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"You will never escape from this hideous
predicament, dearest," said I, taking his great,
muscular hand between my thin ones, "you
will never put yourself on a proper footing
with heaven again, unless you proclaim the
truth, banish all these false pretences which
now hem us in on every side, and explain your
position to the world. Only old Mr. Murdoch,
of Ealing, knows the truth. Rise up and tell
everybody, grandpapa!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He shaved now, with the exception of his
moustache. This he tugged and twisted, and
looked at me with undisguised contempt.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, that fairly takes the crumb!" he
said. "D' you actually suggest that I should
go on the housetops and cry, 'Look at me,
look at me, good people; I'm nearly a hundred
and seven years of age; I've signed a treaty
with the devil. He will have what is left
of me in about three years. This ancient
woman is my granddaughter. Come, all of
you, pray for us'? Would you suggest I did
that, Martha?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Something like it," I answered. "Then
you would feel that you were telling the truth,
at all events."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Pretty true ring about it, certainly.
Everybody would believe it, wouldn't they?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I could substantiate the facts, grandpapa."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Which would merely place you in a lunatic
asylum as well as me. If you are going to
babble about telling the </span><em class="italics">truth</em><span> we may as well
pack up our traps and take the train to Colney
Hatch right away."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"But the world might watch you shrinking,
grandpapa. A committee of doctors would find
out in six weeks that you were telling the truth."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"And have people paying sixpence a head
to come in and see me dwindling? I don't
mean to make a circus of myself for you or
anybody. If Providence can't do anything,
then we'll just rip forward as we're going, and
abide by the result. I'll keep up this
psalm-singing one more week; then, if nothing
happens, I shall go on the razzle-dazzle, and
chance it."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"What d'you mean, grandpapa?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"It doesn't matter what I mean. I shall do
it anyhow."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>And he did. A week later he went off for a
couple of days "on the razzle-dazzle." I asked
our curate if he knew the idiom. He was but
recently ordained, after an undistinguished
career at the University of Oxford. He said
that to "go on the razzle-dazzle" meant a
round of picture galleries, museums, and
similar institutions, where healthy amusement
might be found mingled with instruction.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Many and many a time have I done likewise
myself, Mrs. Dolphin, in the good old
days of the Polytechnic," he said. "Your son
will return all the better for his trip."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>This, coming from a cleric, comforted me
not a little.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Grandpapa certainly did seem happier after
his holiday. He presently re-appeared devoid
of money, but in an excellent temper. I
trusted that he would take more of these
excursions in future, for they served to distract
his thoughts and do him good.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He was full of one topic.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I saw the Hopskipchoff yesterday. She's
quite the rage, and her romance about
Viscount Dolphin is a regular joke in the
music halls. I sat pretty tight, I can tell you.
Not that she would recognise me, now my
beard's gone. Fancy liking her! What
beastly bad taste old Johnnies of five-and-forty
have! Why, she's all paint, and eyes, and
false hair--no more a princess than you are,
Martha."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm thankful you escaped that snare, dear
grandpapa."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes, but she's hunting for Viscount
Dolphin still. Several chance acquaintances
I made told me that she is. She tried
Marlborough House, but that didn't wash.
They shot her out mighty quick, and she says
it's a conspiracy. Daresay she'll find me some
day trundling a hoop or playing peg-top in the
gutter. I shall be a legal infant before
anybody can look round."</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="the-squire-s-daughter"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER XIII.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">THE SQUIRE'S DAUGHTER.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>On his hundred-and-seventh birthday
grandpapa gave up hope, went to
London for some new clothes, started a groom
and two horses, laid in a stock of the choicest
wines, and began to live on his capital. My
little portion had gone in the "Automatic
Postcards."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"What there is left over after the final smash
you can keep," said he to me; "but I tell you
frankly there won't be much. I've got about
five thousand left, and I'm going to live at the
rate of two thousand or more a year. That
will enable me to get into society if I spend it
the right way. In two years I shall be ten
years old. Then you can look after me again.
But, during those two years, it might almost be
better if you left me and went to live somewhere
else. You won't get any solid satisfaction
out of watching me. I shall marry very likely,
or do any other fool's trick that takes my fancy."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Of course I refused to leave him, and he
said I might stay if I particularly wished to,
but he warned me never to interfere with him.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"And if you must stay," he added, "I will
thank you to buy some better clothes. You're
getting too much of a back number to suit me.
I don't like bringing classy people into the
house. You're fifty years behind the times.
I'm a particular man myself, and I wish my
relations to look smart and prosperous. I'm
sorry I didn't give out you were a rich aunt,
and that I was your nephew, with expectations.
Then it wouldn't have mattered. As
it is, you must pull yourself together, and try
to look as little like a guy as possible. I can
hang on here for another six months--till
I'm five-and-twenty. Then I suppose my
moustache will begin to moult, or something
cheerful. When that happens, we'll toddle
back to town, and I'll finish my career there."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I humoured him, bought a silk dress in the
latest fashion, and a few pieces of jewellery,
for which he supplied the money. This was
done with an object. Heaven is aware that
precious stones gave me no pleasure, but I
looked forward to the time when we should be
bankrupt, or when grandpapa would depart,
leaving me at the workhouse door, so to speak.
Against this evil hour I bought the jewels
and silk dress. They delighted my grandparent.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Good old dowager!" he exclaimed at sight
of me, "we are a proper old box of tricks
now! I tell you what, Martha, my tulip: this
must be shown to the county. We'll give a
dinner--a regular spread. Men laugh at me
for living on in this little hole, but I laugh
back, and tell 'em I like it. They believe I'm
enormously wealthy, and fancy that to spend
but two thousand a year is miserly. Yes, they
think me awfully eccentric--well, let 'em; God
knows I am. As to this feed, we'll get the
grub from Salisbury, open the folding doors,
and ask twenty people. The Dawsons and
the Westertons, and the parson and Squire
Talbot and his wife and daughter. Then we'll
invite a big clerical pot or two from Salisbury,
and certain men I know. The affair will
distract me. You must write the invitations
and so on. If you don't know how to, I'll buy
you an etiquette book, with all the rotten rules
and regulations."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"One point only, grandpapa. Please, for
my sake, don't ask the Talbots. It isn't right;
it isn't fair to the girl. You're a man to make
any pretty child's heart ache now. I know you
ride with her, and spend half your time at
Talbot Priory. Recollect----"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"That's enough," he said, shortly. "You
remember, too. The Talbots are to be asked.
Mabel Talbot and I are friends. That is all."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"That never is all with you," I answered,
and then continued, undismayed by his frown.
"If she comes here, and you dine well, and
drink, and so on, you'll end by proposing.
You'll blight another heart, and then come to
me next morning, and say it is time we made
another move. You may well blush. I will
not stay to see it, that I solemnly vow. If the
Talbots are to come, I leave the house."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"As you please--a good riddance."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>My resolution was quickly formed. I left
him, put on my bonnet, and walked up to
Talbot Priory, a distance of one mile. Fortune
favoured me, for Mabel Talbot, in a little pony
carriage, alone save for the company of a small
groom behind her, came driving from the
Priory. She was fond of me for a private
reason, and now she stopped her vehicle, leapt
out, and gave me a kiss. The girl was
beautiful and good, and hopelessly in love with my
grandpapa. He worshipped her too, and
explained to me on one occasion, at great
length, that this was, to all intents and
purposes, his first real love.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Cupid's a blind fool, we all know, and, of
course, he didn't realise what he was doing
when he dropped Mabel Talbot in my way,"
said grandpapa one day.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>The old man gave out now that he had five
thousand a year, for I heard the servants
discussing it; and Squire Talbot, to whose ear
came this rumour, believed it, and greatly
desired grandpapa for his son-in-law. The
Squire was a clever, cunning aristocrat, and
played on poor grandpapa's love of admiration,
and made much of him.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>But to return; I met Miss Talbot, as I have
said, and accepted her invitation to drive
awhile.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I want to talk to you, Mabel, about my
grand----about dear Daniel," I began, as we
trotted out on to Salisbury Plain. She blushed
rosy red, and nearly overturned the little
carriage.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, dear, dear Mrs. Dolphin, has he told you?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Then, of course, I knew they were engaged.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"How far has it gone?" I asked wearily.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>No doubt the same old, sickening flight was
upon us once more. The life I led was killing
me. I certainly began to grow old as fast as
grandpapa grew young. But this time they
might be secretly married already for all I knew.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"He is going to see papa. I know my
father will consent. And you, dear
Mrs. Dolphin? May I be a little daughter to you?
I will love you so dearly. I do already."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Child," I answered, "you must face the
truth and be brave. Daniel is much older--I
mean younger--at least, he is different to what
he seems. He can never marry again. Daniel
has a great mystery hanging over his life.
Supernatural agents are interested in him. He
has violated all the laws of Nature--at least, I
fancy so. I am not his mother at all. He is
my grandfather. His real mother has been
dead nearly a hundred years."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>The girl's blue eyes grew quite round.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Mrs. Dolphin!" she gasped.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"No; Miss Dolphin. He is my grandfather
I tell you. I am unmarried. He has signed
an agreement with--it doesn't matter. At any
rate, he's already been married three times.
He's a widower, and he cannot live more than
three years, and----"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Mabel screamed, jumped from the pony
carriage, and fell almost at the feet of a
horseman who had overtaken us. It was
grandpapa.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>The girl ran sobbing to him, and I got out
of the pony carriage. Grandfather, dismounting,
took the trembling Mabel into his arms, on
the high road, near some Druidical remains,
and openly hugged her before me and the groom.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"What does this mean?" asked grandpapa
fiercely, eyeing me with a scowl.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"She--she--oh, Daniel, she says you're her
grandfather, and a married man, and--and I'm
frightened--very frightened of her."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"You needn't be, darling," he said, with a
bitter laugh; "she's quite harmless, poor old
thing. It's only a passing attack. She has
these fits from time to time in the hot weather.
She's very mad to-day. Never mind; I rode
out to find her, and I'm glad I have. I've
tried to keep the malady a secret, but female
lunatics are so cunning."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Madness is hereditary. Oh, Dan, Dan, if
papa knows that your poor mother is so very
eccentric, he will never consent."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"He has consented, my darling. Fear
nothing. My mother's insanity is not hereditary.
She fell out of a three-storey window on
to her head when she was seventeen. Since
then the ailment has appeared occasionally.
Her customary hallucination is blue rats. You
say she thinks I am her grandpapa! Poor old
soul! Go home, dear joy of my life! We
meet to-morrow, after the Squire and I have
seen the lawyers."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He kissed her, put her back in her pony
carriage, and then turned to me, after she had
driven away.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Now, you old devil," he said, making his
heavy hunting crop whistle in my ear, "you
march home in front of me. And mark this, if
you </span><em class="italics">dare</em><span> to come between me and my amusements
again, I'll get two doctors to sign a
certificate, and have you under lock and key in
Bedlam or Hanwell, before you can say 'knife.'"</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="at-upper-norwood"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER XIV.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">AT UPPER NORWOOD.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>In a week from that horrible day grandpapa
and I were on affectionate terms again,
and living in furnished apartments at Upper
Norwood, near the Crystal Palace. Events
followed each other with such bewildering
rapidity now, that I have a difficulty in
remembering their correct sequence.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>After grandpapa's brutal threat I felt my
liberty, and even my life itself, began to be in
danger; so that night, after a silent dinner, I
waited until he went down to the stables to
smoke, and then sending hastily for a cab, put
one box, which I had already packed, into it,
and drove away to Salisbury. I caught a late
train to town, and lodged for the night at a
little hotel near Waterloo. From here, next
morning, I wrote to grandpapa, giving him my
address, and telling him I was as ready as ever
to help him and fight for him if he needed me.
Then I went out and sold a brooch for
five-and-twenty pounds, and bought myself a bottle
of brandy. I want to hide nothing in this
narrative. Of late my nerves had suffered not
a little. Stimulant was the only thing that
steadied them. I took more and more of it.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Three days later grandpapa turned up at
the hotel. He had shaved off his moustache,
was very frightened and cowed, and said the
police were after him. He insisted on our
changing our names, and getting off quietly
into lodgings without delay. He studied an
"A.B.C." Railway Guide, and said that Upper
Norwood was a respectable sort of place,
where they wouldn't be likely to look for him.
Not until we were settled in furnished rooms,
half-way up Gipsy Hill, and had ordered lunch,
did he explain what had happened. Then he
told the story.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"The day after you bolted I met old Talbot
and his lawyer about a settlement. I talked
rather big, and suggested fifty thousand. Then
the brute of a lawyer said, after he had heard
my name, 'How odd. Now there is a gentleman
I have been wanting to find for the last
two years nearly, and he is called Daniel
Dolphin!' Like a fool, and forgetting the man
he wanted must be years older than me, I lost
my nerve, and the lawyer saw that I had. 'It's
an odd name--perhaps a relative?' he said.
'The gentleman I mean used to live at
Chislehurst. You will be doing me a kindness
if you can tell me anything of him.' Instead of
simply answering that I had never heard of the
man, I replied that he was my uncle. 'How?'
exclaimed the Squire, 'I thought you had no
relations but your mother?' Then I tried to
explain, and bungled it--I'm growing so
damned young and silly now--and finally the
matter dropped, but I could see that lawyer
meant getting the truth out of me later on. I
arranged the settlements and so on, and gave
them a list of my imaginary investments,
which, of course, I'd just picked out of the
money columns in the papers. Then I wanted
to marry at once, and get Mabel before they
had time to find out my game. But the Squire
said he wouldn't hear of it till the autumn.
That wasn't good enough, so I saw Mabel and
told her a yarn or two, and worked on her love
for romance, and finally got her to run away
with me. You needn't jump. The plot fell
through. She weakly confided in a lady's
maid. I saddled my horses myself, and rode
out at midnight to abduct her in the good old
style. I waited at a certain point by the Priory
walls, and presently she arrived. But hardly had
we galloped off--I meant to take her to
Salisbury, and marry her before the registrar next
morning--when we were confronted on the Plain
by Squire Talbot and half-a-dozen mounted
bounders he'd got to help him. The Squire
collared his daughter, and left his friends to
deal with me. They tried to take me prisoner,
but I'm pretty fit just now, and pretty reckless
too. I was mad to think they'd scored off me
like this, and I hit out and knocked one chap
off his horse, and nearly strangled another, and
fired my revolver at a third. I missed him,
and shot his mount. When they found I was
armed, they cleared off. It was an exciting,
old-fashioned scrimmage, and I enjoyed it
while it lasted. But of course, there's the
devil to pay. I rode into Salisbury, put up my
horse at an inn, dodged around all night, and
took the first train up this morning. The
bobbies were prowling about at Salisbury
station, but they didn't recognise me. I'd cut
off my moustache in the night, and looked not
more than eighteen in the morning. The
lawyer, of course, wants me for Marie Rogers;
and Talbot will want me; and the chap whose
head I broke will want me; and the man
whose horse I shot will want me. Let 'em want!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"This is the beginning of the end, grandpapa,"
I said, sadly enough.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Not it! You wait and see what the next
six months bring! I shouldn't wonder if I
was in a tight place six months hence. This
is nothing. I'll make some of 'em squeak yet
before they've done with me."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>It was in this wicked and reckless frame of
mind that he prepared to spend the remainder
of his days. However, he rested from his
labours for about six weeks, notwithstanding
his boast to make people "squeak." He read
the reports of his performance on Salisbury
Plain with great delight, and he found, as the
matter developed, that sundry unexpected
names appeared in it. Daniel Dolphin was
"wanted" by the representatives of one
Mrs. Bangley-Brown, to whom he had promised
marriage; a man of the same name had
performed a similar action at Chislehurst, the
victim in that case being Miss Marie Rogers.
It also appeared that some impostor, calling
himself Viscount Dolphin, and claiming
Royalty for his kindred, had met and proposed
to Princess Hopskipschoff in Paris. These
were all different persons of different ages, the
newspapers admitted, but they might have a
connection with the vanished rascal of the
Talbot Priory business near Salisbury. There
was a mystery of some kind, and the police
naturally had a clue.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Grandpapa gloated over this confusion. He
had changed his name now to Abraham
Whiting--"another prophet and another fish," as he
put it--but he longed to go back to his true
cognomen and "keep the pot boiling." This,
with difficulty, I prevented him doing for a
short time. His monetary affairs were much
simplified now: he had about three thousand
pounds in hand in notes and gold. All the
furniture, and horses, and effects at Salisbury
were sold, and what moneys were not claimed,
under legal and other expenses, went, I believe,
into Chancery. But grandpapa had about
three thousand pounds left, which, as he said,
would last his time with care.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>His moustache did not grow again to any
extent. He took to wearing a straw hat with
a bright ribbon, a blue and red "blazer," white
flannel trousers, and tan boots. Thus attired
he spent much of his time in the Crystal
Palace, choosing undesirable friends at the
different stalls and "growing blue devils under
glass," as he tersely put it.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="susan-marks"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER XV.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">SUSAN MARKS.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>I may say at once that the police never
found grandpapa. Neither Le Coq nor
Edgar Allen Poe's amateur would have done
so, for the simple reason that my grandparent
was growing younger at the rate of one year
every five weeks or so; and though there is
not much difference between one year and the
next in adult life, yet when we deal with the
period of adolescence, great changes become
visible in brief periods. He was about
five-and-twenty when we went to Upper Norwood,
and two-and-twenty when we left that desirable
neighbourhood, after a residence of about three
months.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"You look your age; there's no doubt about
that, Martha," he said to me once, in a very
uncalled-for way.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"So do most respectable people," I answered
sharply. "We can't all go backwards. The
terms wouldn't suit everybody."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"You needn't be personal," he answered;
"and you needn't lose your temper. I say
you look your age, and more than your age;
and I'll tell you why----"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He broke off and tapped a bottle significantly.
"Go your own way, of course, but don't say
nobody ever tried to save you. Don't say
your grandfather didn't warn you in time.
You were as stupid as an owl last night when
I came in. Yes, I know what you're going to
say: I had better look to myself before I
criticise other people. But, remember, I don't
matter; my tour's booked through. Things
are different with you, and I tell you frankly
it's a sorry sight to see an old woman of your
age going down the hill so fast. No grandfather
could view such a spectacle calmly."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>How I wept to be sure. It was the first
kind, thoughtful word I had ever heard from
him since the commencement of the New
Scheme. For several days afterwards his
manner quite changed. He devoted himself
to me, and, amongst other things, purchased
me two dozen bottles of non-alcoholic bitter
beer, and a book of intemperate temperance addresses.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>All too soon, however, I discovered the
reasons for this sudden outburst of affection.
Dear grandpapa began to feel that he could
not get on without me, and he had another
little affair in hand.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I found a morocco case in his room one
morning. It contained a very exquisite gold
bracelet. He had been late overnight, and I
had taken his breakfast up to him. The parcel
with the bracelet came on the preceding
evening while he was out. He had opened
it on returning and left it open. As he was
asleep when I took in his morning meal, I had
time to examine the trinket. I looked at the
costly toy, and then at grandpapa reposing
peacefully and sweetly, with a glow of health
and youth on his face. He lived out of doors
now, and spent most of his time at the Palace.
Of course the bracelet spoke louder than words.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He awoke, saw what I had seen, sat up, ate
three eggs, much toast, and other things, then
made a clean breast of his latest entanglement.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"It's the purest, truest attachment--my first
genuine love, so to speak, and my last. And
she's a girl to whom I can tell my secret; I
feel that. Susan would believe anything.
She will see me through the next two years
or so, and then she will be left free to marry
again. Yes, we are engaged. Socially it is a
bit of a come-down from Mabel Talbot, but I
don't want to found a family or go in for a
swagger connection. The girl loves me, and
that's quite good enough for me."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Who is she, grandpapa?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Nobody; at least I don't know anything
about her family. She doesn't ever mention
them, and I make no enquiries. I don't want
to be within the radius of another mother-in-law
again at my time of life--I know them.
We're going to be married privately, and then
run out to America. Susan keeps a stall at
the Crystal Palace. She's a model girl, and
sells chocolate and sweetstuff generally. You
might go and see her without saying anything.
Just stop in a casual way and hear her talk.
Buy a pennyworth of something and study the
girl a little. She's a perfect treasure of a
woman in my opinion. I've reached an age
now when goodness outweighs beauty and
everything. But she is beautiful too. She
hangs out under that statue of the lady and
the horse--lady and horse both dressed alike.
You'll find her there, and you'll recognise her
if you go this afternoon by this bracelet, which
she'll have on by that time. Draw her out
and you'll find I'm right. She would cling to
me and comfort my declining years. I shall
tell her I'm going away to London for the
afternoon; then you will have it all to yourself
and see what a girl she is."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I obeyed him, and that afternoon visited the
Palace, found Lady Godiva without difficulty,
and Susan Marks selling chocolate below. I
saw the bracelet immediately. It was on the
wrist of a big, dark girl, very showily dressed.
She had bold, black eyes, that twinkled at the
men as they passed, and a hard voice, which
she endeavoured to make seductive as she lured
visitors to the chocolate. She was talking to a
young man when I arrived, and kept me
waiting a considerable time. But I did not
mind that; I was listening to some interesting
conversation.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes, it ain't a bad bangle; my little mash,
Dan Dolphin, gave it to me. He's fairly
gone on me--that's straight. I've got fal-lals
to the tune of three or four hundred quid out
of him, and a promise of marriage."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Promise what you like, Sue, but no kid.
Mind what you said. I ain't jealous, but I'm
No. 1, mind. He's only No. 2."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"No. 2! He's No. 20 more like. You're
a fool, Tom, and you </span><em class="italics">are</em><span> jealous. And I like
to see you angry. You know well enough,
Tommy, that I never loved none but you.
The fools come and the fools go, but Tom
goes on for ever. This little chappie ought to
be good for a hundred or two more--then
we'll be married, you and me, and I'll cut the
chocolate and the butterflies."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Had they arranged their conversation
expressly for my benefit, neither could have
made a more conclusive, satisfactory, and at
the same time disgraceful statement.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>My blood boiled when I thought of my
grandfather's boyish passion being wasted on
this minx.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"What are you starin' at?" asked the girl
rudely, suddenly realising that I was standing
by the stall.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm waiting to be served," I answered. "I
want one of those penny sticks of Cadbury's
chocolate, when you can make it convenient
to attend to me."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>She gave me the refreshment, and I heard
her utter a vulgar jest at my expense as I
turned away. But, for all that, I hastened
home with a light heart. Once more was I
in a position to save grandpapa.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="on-the-river"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER XVI.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">ON THE RIVER.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>It is not easy to describe grandpapa's
indignation when I detailed the result of
my interview with Susan Marks. I told him
all about the young man to whom she had
been talking, and he recognised the youth as
one Tomkins. He had already quarrelled with
Susan about him.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"But why, dear grandfather," I asked, "did
you give this wretched woman your real name?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"It was a safe thing to do," he answered.
"All the old fusses have blown over. Besides,
I should have had to give it when I married
her. I meant most honourably by the jade,
and this is the result. They're all alike,
confusion take 'em. That's the last. I've
done with women now. They don't interest
me as they used to do. I shall go on amusing
myself with the cats for another six months
or so, till I'm a few years younger, but I'm
blest if I ever take 'em seriously again.
They're not worth it--excepting you. You're
a good old daisy, Martha, and I'm much
obliged to you."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Two days afterwards he gave Miss Marks
a bit of his mind, and had it out with Tomkins,
down among the firework apparatus. It
appears that he punched Tomkins on the head,
and then kicked him when he was down, and
finally dropped him into one of the fountains.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"After that," said grandfather, as he
gleefully narrated the circumstances to me, "I
made tracks and hid among those great stone
pre-adamite beasts at the bottom of the
grounds. I squirmed down alongside of an
ichthyosaurus or some such brute, and sat
tight there until dark. Then I dodged out
with the crowd. But they'll want me to-day,
so I guess we must be toddling."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>We talked the matter out, and he decided
to go and rent lodgings somewhere near the
river. He was now twenty-two, by the New
Scheme, and his old love for athletics had returned.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"No more tomfoolery for me," said grandfather.
"I've passed the silly stage now. I
shall take up rowing again and join a cricket
club, and lead a quiet, wholesome life. As
the end approaches so rapidly, I begin to lose
interest in worldly affairs. Let us go to the
river, and I will row you about, over the
peaceful waters, under the trees, among the
swans. If I find I have kept any of my old
form with the sculls, I shall very likely enter
for the 'Diamonds' at Henley. It would be
a record for a man of nearly one hundred and
eight to win 'em. But I doubt how I should
shape in these gimcrack, new-fangled wager-boats."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I encouraged his simple, boyish ambition,
and we took our way to Twickenham. Grandpapa,
finding himself better and happier for
the peaceful life, actually thought once more
of reformation. It was summer time, and a
sort of holy calm would settle on my beloved
grandfather, as he paddled me about the river
and drew up sometimes in the cool shadows
of overhanging trees.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He was a handsome boy of one-and-twenty
now. His face grew tanned by the sun. He
wore a picturesque green and yellow "blazer,"
with a blue handkerchief round his waist and
a big sunflower embroidered on his grey felt
hat. He began to get quite simple in speech,
and his interest revolved about the river races
and the cricket field. He seemed to forget
the past, and I often prayed that the past
would forget him. But grandpapa had sown
the wind and the whirlwind was beginning to
spring up. Time did not fly as quickly with
the world as it seemed to do with us. The
young fellow with his simple athletic interests
and ambitions, training quietly for the Diamond
Sculls, was not destined to escape the fruits
of those many indiscretions committed in his
maturer years; and it is hardly the least of my
griefs and regrets that, in a measure, I was the
cause of keeping grandpapa's name before the
world, and before divers more or less malicious
women, who refused to forget his past relationships
with them. I thought that by the quiet
waters of the Thames, hidden in snug but
comfortable lodgings at Twickenham, we
should have escaped notice; but I soon found
my mistake, for the river is a highway, a
pleasure ground (so to speak) whereon all
meet. Representatives of every London
suburb pass and repass; respectable and
questionable rub shoulders in every lock,
exchange repartees at every bend, drift side
by side in every backwater.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>We were out one day after lunch, and I,
steering carelessly, nearly ran into a boatload
of ladies and gentlemen. Grandpapa reprimanded
me, and apologised to the other party.
Then somebody said:</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Positively it is--it is Miss Dolphin."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>The speaker was Mrs. Bangley-Brown. She
insisted on stopping and asking after grandpapa;
and the old man, like a fool, forgetting
the altered conditions, answered:</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"</span><em class="italics">I'm</em><span> all right. Glad to see you again.
Jove! how well the gals look. And you as
blooming as a four-year-old. D----d if I
don't think you're going backwards too!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Mrs. Bangley-Brown glared at the youth,
and grandpapa, with wonderful readiness,
explained himself.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Awfully sorry. Thought you must know
me. My pals call me 'grandfather,' 'cause
I'm a bit old-fashioned. No offence meant,
none taken I hope."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>She turned from him with disgust, and the
two girls in the boat and some young men
looked at my escort and tittered.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Where is your grandfather?" said
Mrs. Bangley-Brown to me, leaning over the edge
of the boat and whispering. "I have been
wanting his address for five years. Perhaps
you can favour me with it. There is something
fatal about the name, I think. I have
heard it often of late, associated in every case
with some broken-hearted woman."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"He treated you badly, I know," I answered,
also under my breath. "It was a bitter grief to
me at the time. But things are better as they
are. He would not have made you happy."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Probably not," she answered bitterly, "but
he might have made me comfortable. And it
is not too late. We need not discuss his
conduct. I know what an English jury would
think of it. Give me his address, if you
please."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Don't do anything of the sort, Martha,"
said grandpapa, in a great state of excitement.
He had overheard Mrs. Bangley-Brown's last
remark, and now turned to her.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I'm only a youngster," he began craftily,
"but I know the rights of that story. I heard
it from the old man, and it don't do you any
credit. You're an awful designing woman,
and ought to know better. I daresay you've
been after a dozen old fogeys since that."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"You little horror!" screamed Mrs. Bangley-Brown,
"if I could get to you I'd box your ears."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>She rose and made the boat shake, and her
daughters implored her to sit down, or they
would all be in the river.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes, you're a bad old lady--a regular old
fossil-hunter, and no mistake," said
grandpapa, shaking his head at her. "Shocking
example for the gals!" Then he began to
row away.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Follow them! Don't lose sight of them!"
cried the angry woman; but grandpapa was a
fine oar and had a light load. He simply
laughed at their efforts to keep pace with him,
and fired off all sorts of jokes at the pursuers.
Finally he spurted when near the "rollers,"
had our boat over them in a twinkling, and
setting to work, bustled me up to Kingston
with extraordinary celerity. After dark we
paddled quietly home again.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"It is a warning to me," said grandpapa.
"In future if we meet old friends, I am your
young nephew from Oxford; and your grandfather,
should they ask after him, has been
dead for some years. I wish that was true."</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="phyllis"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER XVII.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">PHYLLIS.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>Misfortunes never come singly.
After the meeting with Mrs. Bangley-Brown
I was nervous of going on the river at
all, but upon the following Sunday grandpapa
persuaded me to accompany him. Most young
men would have chosen the society of their
own sex, but grandfather was loyal to his old
granddaughter; and I will say that with regard
to my growing weakness for stimulant, he did
everything in his power to shame me out of it.
I tried my best, but alcohol had become a
necessity, and, as I have said elsewhere, was
the only thing I could rely upon to keep my
nerves steady at a crisis.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>To return, we proceeded that Sunday to
Teddington Lock, when suddenly, alongside
of us, waiting for the lock to open, appeared
Susan Marks and the young man Tomkins.
The woman recognised us both instantly, and
proclaimed the fact.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Lor! if that ain't that little beast Dolphin!
Look, Tommy; and it was that old Guy
Fawkes as 'eard me 'n you talking. She split
an' told him. But it shan't wash; I swear it
shan't. He's promised marriage, you know
that; and all the old grandmothers in the
world shan't save him!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Who are you, you brazen creature? I
don't know you--never saw you before in my
life," said grandfather, calmly.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Don't you talk to me like that, you
wretch," bawled the virago, "or I'll come
over and wring your neck."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Poor soul! Take her out of the sun and
send for a medical man," said my grandfather.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Then Tomkins spoke. He was a small, weak person.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"You can't bounce it like that, you know,"
he said. "You're Dan Dolphin, engaged to
Miss Marks; I ought to know you well
enough; I've had a summons out against
you for three months. You'd better give
me your address, and not make a scene here."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"You're labouring under a case of mistaken
identity," said grandfather, not taking any
notice of the intimation to give his address.
"And as for that beauty there, if she's
engaged to me or some other fellow, what are
you doing with her here on the river? Now
row away, and try and behave yourselves.
I'm afraid you're no better than you ought
to be, either of you."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>In this cool manner, with a quiet air of
experience and superiority, did grandfather
cow the man Tomkins. The woman Marks,
however, was not cowed. She shook her fist
and raved and disgraced her sex and made
a scene; but grandfather only laughed and
proceeded. As he truly remarked, they had
got "precious little change" out of him.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Not less than an hour later, I saw another
of grandpapa's old flames; one whom I had
never met before. The Princess Hopskipschoff,
with a party of younger sons and
music-hall artistes, passed us in a
steam-launch. Grandpapa was very excited, and
his admiration for her, which waxed at
forty-five and dwindled to nothing at thirty, now
at twenty-one, burst out anew.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"A glorious woman--a goddess, by Jove!
How sickening she must find the twaddle of
those boys!" said grandpapa. "Ah, she
doesn't know, as she glances at me from
under her dark lids, that the young fellow in
the yellow and green 'blazer' was once engaged
to marry her. How sweet and fresh she is
still! I wonder if she'll be at Henley?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Then he sighed and caught a "crab" in the
wash of the steamer. I was amazed to hear
him talk thus, and ventured to expostulate.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"The big woman under the red-and-white
parasol? Why, grandpapa, she's forty, and
painted up to the eyes!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Don't blaspheme," he said. "Don't discuss
her. You needn't be jealous of the princess.
To think that she has never forgotten me, that
she seeks me yet! But her dream would be
rather rudely shattered if she knew. Well,
well, let us talk of something else. What
fiend made me leave her? To think of all I lost!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>From which I have since drawn the curious
conclusion that very young men and quite
middle-aged ones are often attracted by the
same sort of women.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"A fellow cannot get on without woman's
love," said grandpapa, suddenly, after a long
silence. "At least, some fellows can't--I can't
for one."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"A mother's love is what you will soon be
needing, dear one. I shall do the best I can."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Bosh!" he said angrily. "That's not love
at all; it's instinct. And I don't want you to
fuss over me when I become a child, mind
that. Just keep me clean and tidy, and give
me toys and tell me Bible stories. But don't
pretend you're my mother then, because that's
outraging the laws of Nature, and people will
laugh at you. I'm not talking of those matters
now; I'm alluding to love."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"You said, when you left Upper Norwood,
that you had done with that for ever."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes, very likely; young men say foolish
things. You can't help fate. Marriages are
made in heaven wholesale, though I admit
they never guarantee the quality, and turn out
a lot of goods that don't wear. You observe
that lock ahead? We're going to lunch there.
The lock-keeper is called Rose, and he has a
daughter named Phyllis. She's the daintiest,
most exquisite, human thing I ever saw. No
brains, thank God--I've had enough of clever
women--but the disposition of an angel,
eyes like grey rainclouds with sunshine in
'em, hair brown, lily-white hands, tiny feet,
and everything complete. What's more, the
girl understands me."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I may assume, then, grandfather, that you
are engaged?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I will not deceive you, Martha; we are."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"How far has it gone?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"To the 'second time of asking.' I mean
business this journey. We're to be married
after Henley. I didn't tell you, because it
would only have worried you, and, I fear,
make you take kinder than ever to stimulant.
I've arranged it all. We're going to Scotland.
Then, when I get a bit younger, I shall
leave her a letter with all my money in it, and
clear out and make away with myself. I was
only pretending just now. I couldn't stand
childhood again, not even with you, let alone
as a married man. I want you to be friends
with her, and live with her after I am gone."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>His voice broke, and, at the same moment
we reached the lock.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="i-forbid-the-banns"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER XVIII.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">I FORBID THE BANNS.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>"There you are!" said a soft, musical
voice above us, and glancing up I saw
Phyllis Rose. She was in truth a beautiful
girl, dressed in her Sunday clothes, looking the
pink of health and happiness.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I've watched you ever so long, dear Dan;
and this is your dear, dear grandmother?
Oh, I hope she will let me love her for your sake."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>She kissed me, and, I confess, my heart
warmed to her. She was as pretty and tender
a little soul as ever lived to make sunshine for
other people. I soon found that she
worshipped the ground my grandfather trod upon.
She slipped her little hand into his as she
walked up to her father's cottage, and talked
pleasantly and happily with a London accent.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>At her modest habitation an excellent meal
and a bottle of very passable red wine were
prepared. The girl's parents seemed delighted
to see us, and welcomed me in a most hearty,
but at the same time respectful manner. I
tried to banish the real, fatal aspect of the
position and live in the passing hour. Grandpapa
seemed very cheerful.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Were the banns called again to-day?" he asked.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"That they was," said Mr. Rose; "and
Phyllis, the little silly, got as red as a peony,
and her mother, no better, blushed like a
school-girl, too. That's the second time of
asking. Don't you have no more fruit pie,
Dan. Remember Henley."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>But my grandfather explained he had not
gone into regular training yet. "Sam
Sturgess and I begin hard work together on
Monday week," he said. "We're both very
fit, and if I don't pull off the 'Diamonds,' I
ought to go near winning the 'double sculls'
with Sam. It's a month next Monday."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>The young things went off together
presently, and I had a thimbleful of cold
punch with Mr. and Mrs. Rose, and chatted
to them. It was seldom I got an opportunity
to talk to my fellow-creatures now, and I must
admit that I enjoyed doing so. They were
quite willing to listen, and tried to turn our
talk to grandfather; but I said as little on that
head as possible.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"What d' you think of her?" my grandfather
asked, as he rowed me home in the evening.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"She is a pearl of a girl. But it must not
be, grandfather. You contemplate a most
wicked action. I pray you abandon the idea.
Stop till Henley, if you must; then let us
hurry away. We can write and break it off,
and send her a present in money. They are
poor, and it would be very welcome."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"You may talk yourself inside out, Martha,
but it won't alter me," he said, with quiet
determination. "This is the only girl I've
ever really loved, and the Devil himself won't
stop me. For that matter, he's the last who 'd
try to, no doubt."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"It is necessary to have your banns called
in your own parish as well, grandpapa."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I know, I know. I wasn't married
three times without getting a pretty good
knowledge of the ropes. My banns have
been called twice at St. Jude's. You never
go to church now, or you'd have heard 'em."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"St. Jude's is not much patronised. The
service is long and low, and the church half
empty."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"So much the better."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Then he changed the subject, and as the
moon rose and made the river look romantic,
grandpapa tried to invent a bit of poetry about
Phyllis, and failed.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, Phyllis mine, come let us twine our
arms about each other's necks," he began.
Then he turned to me and said--</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Put that flask away, Martha; you think I
can't see you, but I can. 'Our arms about
each other's necks.' Then, let me see, what
rhymes with 'necks'?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Cheques," I answered, humouring him.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Ah, that would come in if this was an
ordinary, modern sort of love match, but it
isn't. I want something pastoral or idyllic.
Let me see, where 'd I got to? 'Come,
Phyllis mine, and let us twine our arms about
each other's necks.' Wrecks, decks, specks,
flecks, pecks. Necks is 'off.' Let's try 'each
other's waists.' Waste, raced, paste, taste,
graced, laced, haste----"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Then he ran into the bank and abandoned
verse, and fell back upon lurid prose, which he
applied to me and my management of the
rudder lines.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"What d' you think you're doing, you
muddle-headed old mummy? Sit straight
and look at the river, not at the moon. I'll
make you sign the pledge to-morrow, blessed
if I don't! You'll have more water with your
whisky than you want in a moment. Oh,
Lord! never again--never. Pull the right
string--the right. Holy mouse! On Sunday
evening too!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Finally I gave up the lines, being really far
from well, and he unshipped the rudder and
made me sit in the bottom of the boat. I
don't know what possessed me, but I felt quite
happy in spite of my passing dizziness, and
when a boat went by us, with a young man in
it playing on a banjo and singing, I sang too.
It was the first time I had done so for forty
years.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Shut up, you ruin!" gasped grandfather.
"Stop it, for the love of the Lord. D' you
think I want the whole river to know? It's
like a cargo of corncrakes. You're enough to
frighten a steam launch!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I stopped then and cried at his cruelty.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Don't be harsh, grandfather--don't be
brutal to your only grandchild," I sobbed.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Behave yourself, then. When you take
to singing in public it's about time I spoke
out."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>We got home somehow, and never returned
to the subject. He did not desire to be
reminded of his poetry, and therefore was
careful not to allude to my passing indisposition.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>But I never hesitated to speak on the
subject of poor Phyllis. I implored him, by
everything that was sacred, to abandon this
undertaking. Each day throughout that week
I attacked him, until in sheer despair and rage
he would take his hat and fly from the house.
But nothing availed--grandfather would not
alter his intention; and I therefore determined
to forbid the banns. The thought was naturally
very distasteful to me, but I could see no
alternative. Grandpapa, never dreaming of
such a thing, rowed up the river as usual on
the following Sunday, and I went to St. Jude's.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>In due course the minister published the
banns of marriage "between Daniel Dolphin,
of this parish, bachelor, and Phyllis Rose,
of"--somewhere else, I forget the name of the
place--"spinster." It was for the third and
last time of asking.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I got up, grasped the pew in front of me,
and exclaimed:</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"This--this mustn't go on. I forbid the banns!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Which?" asked the minister. He had
read out a string of names.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Those between my grand--between Daniel
Dolphin and Phyllis Rose."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Will the individual who has forbidden these
banns of marriage meet me in the vestry at the
end of the service?" said the clergyman.
Then he proceeded.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>In the vestry he asked me for particulars.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"In the first place," I answered, "Mr. Dolphin
is not a bachelor at all. He is married. He
has been married three times."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"D' you mean to say that mere boy's been
married three times?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"It's the solemn truth."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"No wife alive, I trust?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, no--the last died sixty years ago--at
least--that is----"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Woman," said the pastor sternly, "what
do you mean? Mr. Dolphin came to see me
himself. He is twenty, so he says, but does
not look that. You have told me a transparent
lie. Do you know Mr. Dolphin?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Know him! He's my grandfather."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>The Vicar looked round to see if the coast
was clear. He prepared to escape if I should
grow violent. His manner instantly changed.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Keep cool, dear madam. I quite understand.
Let me get you a glass of water to drink."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Then he withdrew, and I heard him
whispering to an old woman who opened the pews.
He bid her run for a doctor and a policeman.
Upon this I rose and came home.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>To my surprise, grandpapa rowed back pretty
early in the afternoon. He was in a terribly
depressed and agitated condition, so I did not
tell him just then what I had clone.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"What's the matter, grandfather? Phyllis is well?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"No, she's not well. A brute got up at her
wretched church and forbid the banns. She
fainted, and her father met the person and
somebody else afterwards. Whether it was
Tomkins, or Talbot, or Rogers, or the Princess,
I don't know. But it's all up. Old Rose
is going to arrange an action for breach of
promise. His wife came home from church
and gave me the particulars, and some pretty
peppery criticism at the same time. We
must clear out of this, but I'll row for the
'Diamonds' if the heavens fall. Get your
traps. We'll go up the river by easy stages,
and lie low in the day-time. I can enter for the
regatta under a feigned name."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Thus had my poor grandparent's banns been
forbidden at both places of worship simultaneously.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="counsel-s-opinion"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER XIX.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">COUNSEL'S OPINION.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>Grandpapa decided that Sunbury
would be a likely sort of place to "lie
low" in, so we went up after dark that same
Sunday evening, reached our new halting-place
soon after midnight, and took some
lodgings by the water-side. The affair was
in the papers next day, and the name of Daniel
Dolphin echoed in people's mouths once more.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Grandfather now called himself Elisha Spratt,
and he entered under that name at Henley.
By a curious coincidence, the first heat for the
Diamond Sculls fell on grandpapa's birthday.
Nearly a month, however, had yet to pass by
before that elate. Mr. Rose's added another
to the long list of indictments against
grandfather, but the old man cared nothing. He
went on steadily and quietly with his practice
and training, and the harder he trained, the
younger he began to look.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>A painful incident, out of which arose another
still more trying, has here to be recorded.
Grandpapa, while discussing the different
processes at law which he had incurred, told me,
in some glee, of matters I did not know.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I did a smart thing recently," he began.
"Of course, a man must help his chums where
he can, and I've been able to do so without
any hurt to myself. People on the river think
I've got pots of money, because I spend very
freely. On the strength of this I've been asked
to lend my security on about twenty different
occasions. I never refused. Men thought I
was a fool, but I knew what I was about very well."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>The old, cunning look came back into his
eyes once more. It had a very painful appearance
on the face of so young a man.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"What have you done now, dear grandfather?
Hide nothing from me," I said.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I've backed a lot of bills, and gone security
for thousands and thousands. A good few of
the Johnnies can't pay, and they'll come down
on me like a ton of bricks. Ha, ha!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I don't see what there is to laugh at,
grandpapa. So little amuses you now."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Why, </span><em class="italics">I'm under age</em><span>. That's where the
laugh comes in. I'm a legal infant, or
something of that sort. They can't touch me."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"A legal infant! Why, grandfather, you're
a hundred and eight years old in a few weeks'
time."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Not by the New Scheme."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"What's the New Scheme got to do with
the money-lenders? They'll fight it out on the
Old Scheme, and trace you back and back, and
confront you with your past career. It was
madness to do such a thing."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>The old man grew rather wretched and
uneasy, but he soon cheered up again.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I thought it was such a smart move; and,
after all, no harm's done, for I haven't got the
money. In fact, fifteen hundred or less is about
my limit now. I'm safe enough if you don't go
and give me away. People recognise you, but,
of course, I shall begin changing and dwindling
at a deuce of a rate, after Henley. To think
that my mental powers will begin to fade,
too--that's what cuts me up."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>What he called his mental powers had already
begun to fade. He was stupid for his age now,
and would be a mere clown of a boy in six
months' time. But I did not tell him so. I said
nothing; and soon afterwards he went to bed.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>In the morning he came down to breakfast,
fired with an extraordinary new project. And
yet, in justice to myself, I cannot say strictly
that it was a fresh idea. I had advised him to
take the step he now contemplated any time
this five years.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I have been reading the agreement," said
grandpapa, "and, upon my soul, it looks to me,
duffer though I am, as if the thing didn't hold
water. I don't know anything about law, but
the question is simply a legal one, after all;
and if there's a flaw anywhere, I don't see
why I shouldn't benefit by it. Any way, it's
good enough to get an opinion on. I shall go
up to Lincoln's Inn Fields, and see
Messrs. Tarrant and Hawker. They helped me in
the matter of the Automatic Postcard swindle,
if you remember. I shall pretend the
agreement is a joke, and, of course, they won't
know me from Adam. Just think if they
discovered a flaw, now, at the eleventh hour, so
to speak!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Go, by all means, grandpapa, but don't
buoy yourself, my dearest. Recollect Who
wrote that agreement. He may not be skilled
in legal matters himself, but he must have had
ample opportunities for submitting the draft to
experts."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"That's the point," answered grandpapa.
"He expressly said he'd drawn it up himself.
It was a new thing in agreements, even for
him. He fancied it too. But there may be a
slip somewhere. I want a day off the river,
and I'll go up with this document after lunch.
You sit tight at home and don't show yourself.
If people see you--Rose or any of the
rest--they'll know I'm not far off."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"And take care yourself, grandpapa. They
are on the look out, no doubt. If you are
arrested, I shall go mad."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>He started, and I spent the afternoon reading
disquieting paragraphs about Daniel Dolphin.
Many papers made mention of him, and certain
of the comic organs printed what they doubtless
regarded as jokes. My name appeared. There
was much diversity of opinion about me. Some
said that I was his daughter; others that we
were brother and sister; others, again, that
Daniel Dolphin's mother or grandmother or
great-aunt assisted him in his pernicious career.
The </span><em class="italics">Star</em><span> fancied that Daniel Dolphin often
masqueraded as an old woman. Everybody
agreed that the truth would soon be known,
because the police had an undoubted clue,
and the matter was in most experienced hands.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>My grandpapa returned to dinner. He
wept into his plate all through that meal,
and showed me in a thousand ways that his
enterprise had produced no good results.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Speak, my treasure!" I cried at length,
unable to bear the suspense; "is it as bad as
you thought?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"A million times worse!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Worse! What could be worse, grandpapa?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I'll explain. This fool--Nick, I mean--has
drawn out the thing single-handed, and
defeated his own object, and wrecked me
utterly. I saw Mr. Hawker himself. He
studied the agreement for an hour, then gave
judgment on it. He said, tapping it with his
eyeglass, 'Now this document is curious--very
much so. The--the person who wrote it
appears to have had a certain smattering of law
terms, which he sprinkles over his remarks
without any legal knowledge, without any
familiarity with their forensic significance. The
most remarkable thing about this agreement,
however, is that by the processes to be applied
to Daniel Dolphin, the said gentleman will
absolutely cease to exist at the end of the
specified time. The deed is amateurish in
many respects, but in none more than this. It
defeats its own object, for on the completion of
the period herein set out, </span><em class="italics">there will be nothing
of Mr. Daniel Dolphin left to go anywhere</em><span>!
He said that, and I thanked him and paid
six-and-eightpence, and came away, feeling about
as cheap as a bad egg."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>My grandfather flung himself on a sofa, and
cried again.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Then you can't go to--to--!" I said, with
a thrill of exultation.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I can't go anywhere at all," he moaned;
"I go out like gas when it's turned off at the
tap. You don't understand--it's terrible, it's
unheard of. I'd rather have gone down below
than nowhere at all--anybody would. But
now--now I shall become as extinct as the dodo.
He's spoofed himself, and squelched me. Talk
about justice!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I cannot dwell upon his sufferings. He had
always believed firmly in a life beyond the
grave. Now it was snatched from him by a
juggling, muddle-headed, self-sufficient fiend,
who ought never to have been allowed the use
of writing materials. The matter was a logical
one; the end of the New Scheme simply
meant eternal annihilation for my unhappy old
grandfather.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="a-climax"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER XX.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">A CLIMAX.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>Grandfather had little time to concern
himself with his new and terrible
sorrows. All his hopes and ambitions now
centred in the race at Henley; but adequate
training became very difficult, because we were
marked people now, despite the fact that we
had changed our names. Detectives were
constantly watching us and taking photographs of
us in a hand-camera, and doing all they could
to identify grandpapa with Daniel Dolphin.
We moved higher up the river, then proceeded
above Henley, then retreated back again to
Kew. This threw the police out for awhile,
but as time went on they found us again, and
finally the first writ arrived. But this and
others concerned money affairs, and grandpapa
brushed them away with contempt. Anon,
however, a more serious injunction fell upon us.
Mr. Rose, satisfied that grandfather was no
other than Daniel Dolphin, and doubtless
advised by those familiar with the law, brought
an action in the name of his daughter for
breach of promise of marriage.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"It's pretty rough on me," said grandpapa,
"that the one girl of the lot that I really was
faithful to, and wanted to marry, and meant
to marry, should jump on me like this. I
couldn't help the banns being forbidden. And
now I have got to appear in the Queen's Bench
Division, and very likely get run in for all I'm
worth, and a bit over."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"D'you observe the date?" I asked, after
looking at the document.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"By Jove! my twentieth birthday by the
New Scheme--same date as first heat of the
'Diamonds.' Well, I can't attend, that's all.
They'll have to put it off."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>A sort of fatality attached to subsequent
summonses for grandpapa. The Salisbury
people got wind of his address too, and he was
ordered to repair to that city on divers charges.
I think about six detectives, all working in
different interests, were now employed upon
grandfather. He was commanded to appear
in the Queen's Bench Division on no less than
three different counts, for Marie Rogers
brought a case against Daniel Dolphin, and
Mrs. Bangley-Brown did the same.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"They'll look pretty complete fools, those
women," said grandpapa grimly, "when I do
turn up in the box--a callow, lanky lout of
twenty. The detectives have marked you
down, Martha, and associate you with the
missing Daniel Dolphin. So they think they
are on the right track. You'll have to come
and swear anything I tell you to."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>But I had my own troubles. There were
several summonses out against me for "aiding
and abetting" grandpapa in his different enterprises.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Shall you employ a solicitor?" I asked.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Not I," he answered. "No good chucking
money away. I shall plead infancy, and if that
won't wash, I shall throw myself on the mercy
of the Court. I shall get up some legal
expressions, like </span><em class="italics">ultra vires</em><span>, and </span><em class="italics">sub judice</em><span>, and
</span><em class="italics">suggestio falsi</em><span>, and </span><em class="italics">prima facie</em><span>, and so on.
With these I shall endeavour to conduct my
own case. As a last resort I shall try an alibi.
But my own impression is that these fools of
women will cry off the moment they see me.
I don't want to drag in the New Scheme if I
can possibly help it. What a cur Nick is not
to lend a hand at a time like this!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"And what am I to do, grandfather?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Well, you'll have to stand your trial. As
far as I can see, you'll get about five years if
they're lenient. You might bounce it with an
alibi. After all, what does it matter? Quiet
rest in a prison cell would be luxury after this
life. I've foreseen it for some time. In your
case it might be the best thing that could
happen. You'll have to be steady there. It's
about the only thought that really worries me,
to remember that when I'm a defenceless babe
I shall be in the hands of a woman who drinks."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Grandpapa! you know how I try."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I know how you succeed. Any excuse is
good enough for a whack with you now.
Every time a new injunction or process or writ
drops in, off you go to the brandy bottle
and carouse, as though they were matters
to rejoice about. What was the good of
signing the pledge if you never meant to
keep it?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I find my system must have stimulant now,
and I take it medicinally."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Oh, of course--the same old lie that's been
on people's tongues ever since Noah invented
it. It's your business after all, only you might
look on ahead a little. Not long ago you were
always telling me to do so. One of these days,
after I'm a poor bawling infant in arms, you'll
see purple centipedes or something just when I
want your attention, and I shall get left."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>The subject dropped, and I turned the
conversation to a pleasanter theme. We were
within a week of the race, and grandpapa, in
the pink of condition, only hoped and prayed
that the law would not put violent hands upon
him before Henley Regatta. The complications
of the position had now become impossible
to describe in words. We were lodging at
Henley, and already letters, signed "Verax"
and "Scrutator," were appearing in the sporting
papers hinting at matters mysteriously
connecting the young sculler, Elisha Spratt, with
the scoundrel, Daniel Dolphin. Mr. Rose was
responsible for these; at least, grandpapa
thought so.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>But nobody interfered with him. He wound
up his training, and backed himself with a
thousand pounds, which was all we had left in
the world. On the night before the race some
policemen made an endeavour to arrest grandpapa,
but he escaped, and joined me at a mean
hotel near the river, where with great difficulty
we succeeded in getting two adjoining bedrooms.
A good night's rest was absolutely
necessary for him.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"You see, I've got to win the Sculls at
Henley, and answer for myself at Salisbury and
in the Queen's Bench Division, and before a
magistrate at Twickenham, and in three
police-courts elsewhere, so I shall be fairly busy
to-morrow," he said, with a rather pathetic
smile. Then he kissed me, and went to bed in
perfect good-temper. He was happily too
young now to thoroughly realise his awful
position.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="my-nightmare"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER XXI.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">MY NIGHTMARE.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>I did not sleep that night for many hours,
and when I finally slumbered there came
to me a nightmare, involving grandpapa, which
took ten years off my life.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I dreamed that the morning had come, and
that I went into grandfather's room to wish
him many happy returns of the day--a thing
I should certainly not have done in reality. But
I was in the spirit, and never shall I forget the
spectacle which greeted me as I stood by the
old man's pillow. Instead of the ruddy, healthy
boy I had left over-night--instead of the
muscular, deep-chested, deep-voiced young athlete
who was that day to row at Henley, there sat
up in the bed an uncanny, wrinkled, decrepit
mummy of a creature. It was bald, save for
a thin tangle of white eyebrow over each
bleared eye. Its mouth was a mere slit, its
nose and chin nearly met, its cheeks had fallen
in. One thin skeleton of a claw held the
bedclothes up to its scraggy neck. Its head shook,
its under jaw dropped, its back was round as a
wheel; the thing manifested indications of
profoundest age.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"What--what is this? Who are you?" I
gasped, turning faint and clutching at a
chair-back for support.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>It laughed a little squeaky, wheezy laugh,
and a cunning expression came into its dim eyes.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Keep your nerve," it said. "The show's
bust up; the New Scheme's broken down!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Grandpapa!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"He--he--he! Yes. A hundred and eight,
not twenty. I've downed him."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Downed him, grandpapa?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"That means bested him, beaten him, scored
off him. Lord! Lord! You'd have laughed to
see what went on here last night. Nick swore
and cussed and stormed and stamped round
and perspired brimstone; but it wasn't any
manner of use. He'd given himself away by
his own foolishness."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Tell me, grandfather, tell me all about it.
This is a happy day indeed!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>In my dream I gave the old hero an egg-and-milk
with a little brandy. Then he sat
up, and in a weak, trembling voice, broken with
fits of senile chuckling, he told me about his
interview.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Nick came in just for a chat. He always
goes to Henley. He mentioned the
'Diamonds,' and guaranteed I should win 'em. He
was friendly as you please, and hoped I'd
had a good time, and didn't regret my
bargain.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Then I told him of my visit to the lawyers,
rapped out at him for a blundering, unbusiness-like
ass, got the agreement out, went through
it with him, and showed him what he'd really
done. He was fairly mad, but he couldn't get
away from facts. I said:</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"'The point lies in a nutshell. There'll be
nothing of me left to go anywhere; and even
you cannot arrange for the eternity of a
non-existent being, can you?'</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"He had to admit he couldn't. He was
properly cross. He tore the agreement to little
pieces, and stamped on it. He argued some
time with me, and pointed out a fact that I
had fully grasped already. He said:</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"'Yes, it's pretty clear I've over-reached
myself. My fiendish conceit's always tripping
me up. I ought to have got my lawyers to
help me; but I thought I could thrash a simple
thing like that out alone.'</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"He said that much, and then I made some
satirical remark which stung him, for he turned
on me, about as short and nasty as they make
'em, and said:</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"'Blest if I know what </span><em class="italics">you</em><span> want to snigger
for! You don't seem to realise what a unique
fix you're in. You </span><em class="italics">won't go anywhere</em><span> now!
That's what's the matter with you. Nothing
to chortle about, I should think?'</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"'I'm not chortling at that,' I answered,
'I'm merely smiling a bit to see you getting
so warm. You'd better listen to reason and
leave the past alone. Is there any way out of
this? Of course, I want to go somewhere.
I've got a strong objection to becoming
extinct. How would you like it? I suppose
even you would rather hang on where you are
than be blotted out altogether.'</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"'We can't get away from a signed agreement,'
he said sulkily.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Yes we can, if we draw out another,
cancelling the first,' I answered.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"'No more writing for me,' he said.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"'Well, then, let us have an oral
understanding,' I suggested.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"'I'll entertain any proposal in reason,' he
replied.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"But, of course, I was unprepared with
suggestions. The interview had been sprung upon
me, and I had not bestowed a moment's
thought upon preparations.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"'You're in a fix, I know,' he remarked, 'a
mere temporal quandary, only involving certain
ladies and so forth, but still troublesome so far
as it goes. I might do this; I might quash all
these earthly suits by the simple expedient of
restoring you to your real age. As it is, you
will upset a good many of them, because old
Bangley-Brown, for instance, is on the look-out
for a man of seventy-five; and the publican's
daughter, Marie Rogers, expects a man of
five-and-forty or fifty. But, by returning to the
ripe old age of one hundred-and-eight, you
reduce the whole series of proceedings to a
farce, and leave the different police courts and
places without a stain on your character. In
any case, you can only live one year more, but
the difference is this: that if you go on as
you're going, you go out altogether; whereas,
if you consent to my alternative, you'll die in
your bed, and have a future.'</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"As you may imagine, Martha, I grew very excited.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"'A future--where?' I enquired, in my dream.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Exactly. Where? There's the rub," grandfather
answered. "I asked Nick the same
question, and he said:</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"'I wonder you can inquire. If you've got
any sense of justice or gratitude, you ought to
feel the extent of your debt and not hesitate to
pay it. In any case, whatever your private
ambitions may be, your past record is such
that, if you go anywhere at all, your destination
is practically determined.'</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I did not argue upon this point," continued
grandfather, "feeling it would be better tact to
slur it over, and leave a loop-hole, but he held
me to it, and finally got me to promise that I
would never attempt to reform or amend my
ways during the last year of my life. He
insisted all the time that it would not alter the
result, but I could see, from his great anxiety
upon the point, that he knew there might be
plenty of opportunity for me to turn over a
new leaf, and make a good end, if I chose to
do so. However, I promised him to lead as
abandoned and dissolute a life as could be
expected from a man of one hundred and eight,
so we effected the compromise. He was
nervous about it to the last, but felt it to be
the only way out of the </span><em class="italics">cul-de-sac</em><span> his own
stupidity had placed him in. Then the change
was made. I went to sleep a boy and woke
as you find me. I'm all here, but stiff about
the legs, and deucedly rheumatic. Go out and
get me a tall hat and some black, ready-made
clothes, and some easy felt boots and a few
walking sticks, and the strongest spectacles
you can buy. Then I'll get up."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>So ended my clear grandpapa's astounding
statement, but my dream went on. I made
him some bread-and-milk, fed him with it,
and then hurried out to purchase necessaries.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>The world, had turned upside down for me.
I expected the newspaper boys to be yelling
out "Failure of the New Scheme!"</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="the-dwindling-of-grandpapa"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER XXII.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">THE DWINDLING OF GRANDPAPA.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>But there was no truth in the vision. I
awoke unrested--rose, and, of course,
found grandpapa under the New Scheme, as
usual. He had arranged to hide somewhere
in a backwater, and only paddle out when the
race for the Diamond Sculls was beginning. I
tried hard to dissuade him from making the
attempt. I pointed out that arrest was sure
to follow the struggle, and that, once taken,
there would be sufficient legal complications
all over the country to last him much more
than the remainder of his life. I said:</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"In a year's time you will be ten; in two
years you will be nothing. Let us hide this
tragedy if we can. Publicity now means that
the concluding catastrophes of your life will
be watched by the whole of England--perhaps
by the entire civilised world. Surely that
would add another sting to extinction? Let
me implore of you, dear one, to give up this
aquatic enterprise. We will fly together. I
have done up the accounts this morning, and
find we have exactly nine hundred and
ninety-eight pounds left. This is ample provision
for your approaching childhood. Come and
dwindle by the sea--at Margate or somewhere.
Or let us go abroad, if that idea gives you
pleasure."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Not me," he said. "I shall flicker out in
the old country. And as to not rowing, that's
absurd. This race is my last flutter. In six
months I shall be a boy of fifteen. I must make
my final adult appearance to-day. It's jolly
lucky there's only one other entry besides
myself, as I certainly shall have no chance of
appearing more than once. However, this
morning I mean to row the course, and then
keep on the river and pull quietly into the
backwater, and lie low till dark. Meantime
you can go to Margate if you like and find new
diggings, and I'll join you to-morrow."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>With this arrangement I had to be content.
I took a train to London, and managed to
escape comfortably in it with my box. I
journeyed to Margate, took three fair rooms
overlooking the sea, and waited with deepest
anxiety for grandfather's arrival. On the
following morning I purchased the </span><em class="italics">Sportsman</em><span>,
to find that the dear old man had managed to
elude the detectives and win the Diamond
Sculls! I felt that this was probably the last
piece of real joy he would ever have. But the
report in the </span><em class="italics">Sportsman</em><span> quickly quenched my
passing happiness. Satisfaction, indeed, was
turned into black despair, when I read what
my grandfather had done on the completion of
the boat-race.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Elisha Spratt," said the </span><em class="italics">Sportsman</em><span>, "the
mysterious young oarsman who has suddenly
burst into fame, won the 'Diamonds' with
ridiculous ease, and simply played with his
better-known opponent. The sensation of the
race, however, was reserved for the finish.
Hardly had Spratt passed the winning-post
when a boat, full of police-constables, pulled
quickly out from the crowd of craft that thronged
the course and made towards him. Spratt, it
seems, has been 'wanted' for some time, being
mysteriously connected with what is known as
the 'Dolphin Mystery'; and the preservers of
law and order believed that by taking him in
mid-stream, immediately after the race, they
would ensure an easy capture. Their judgment,
however, proved faulty. Spratt, who was
nearly as fresh as when he began to row,
made a vigorous defence, and when he
ultimately succeeded in capsizing the boatload of
Crown officials and escaping, the enthusiasm of
the sightseers knew no bounds. Finally he
disappeared up stream, and has not since been
heard of. He is certainly a magnificent sculler,
but we fear his next appearance in public will
not be in a wager boat. The constables were
all rescued, though one of them, a well-known
detective, is said to lie still insensible, and little
hopes are entertained of his recovery."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>This was the end of it then--murder! My
grandfather had taken a life. Now, if they
caught him they would doubtless endeavour
to hang him. Even the New Scheme could
hardly continue if they succeeded in hanging
grandfather. At least, so it struck me. But
first they had to catch him. Luckily, he was
just at a difficult age to catch. We had
arranged I should wait for him at the station,
and presently he came down from town,
travelling third-class, in the same compartment
with part of a Sunday school treat. He had
disguised himself, and was wearing a false nose
and little imitation whiskers hooked over his
ears. He saw me, and followed at a distance
as I walked from the station, but he did not
join me until I had reached the doorstep of
our lodgings. Then he approached and entered.
He was very excited, and full of a new idea.
He had already quite forgotten the race on
the preceding day, and talked of nothing save
the nearly-drowned detective.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"You see, if he pops off, they'd hang me,"
he explained eagerly.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Grandfather, I implore you not to talk so,"
I sobbed, quite giving way.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"But I want 'em to. Nothing better could
happen. The next two years won't be much
of a catch from my point of view; and if I'm
executed, of course, the New Scheme must be
upset. I shall have to go somewhere then; I
shan't become extinct anyway."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>His hopes in this direction were doomed
to disappointment, however. The detective
recovered, and we were unmolested. We had,
in fact, thrown the Scotland Yard people
completely off the trail. But grandpapa still
longed to be hanged. He even discussed the
feasibility of a capital crime at Margate, and,
as it was all one to him in the matter of a
victim, he generously offered to put anybody
I liked out of the way. He even bought a
revolver.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"To be executed it is necessary to take a
life," he explained. "The question is, whose
life? If you've got an enemy, Martha, now's
your time to name him or her. If you've no
fancy, then I shall pip a prominent member of
the Government."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>But two months passed by, and my
grandfather's horrid ambition gradually faded.
When he was eighteen, and after we left
Margate for Ramsgate, which step was taken
about this period, he acquired a passing
passion for sea-fishing, bought a rod and line,
and angled uneventfully for days together off
the pier-head or out of an open boat. From
Ramsgate we proceeded to Deal, then lurked
a week or two at Dover, and continued our
tour of the south-coast watering-places,
secreting our sorrows in turn at Folkestone,
Hastings, St. Leonard's-on-Sea, Eastbourne,
Brighton, and Bognor. I thought we might
winter in the Isle of Wight, but grandfather
was for Cornwall and conger-fishing, so we
pushed onwards to Fowey, and arrived there
shortly after Christmas, when my grandparent
was about fifteen.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>His wardrobe became a greater difficulty
daily. The poor old sufferer shrank in a
heartbreaking way. I had always to be taking in
and turning up and reducing his different
articles of apparel. He was now mercifully
allowed to lose intelligence very rapidly. He
lived more and more in the passing hour, and
began to develop simple boyish ambitions and
hopes and complaints. As he gradually fell
completely under my control, a certain peace of
mind, to which I had long been a stranger,
returned. The position was harrowing enough,
heaven knows, but whereas throughout
grandfather's career under the New Scheme, he had
played his own game, so to speak, and never
paid much attention to the faithful woman
always at his elbow, now the position was
rapidly changing. He had to look to me and
rely upon me more and more. Indeed, he
did so as a matter of course. I held the
purse, and took good care to keep it. The
dear old man never wanted for anything,
but I had to think of my own future. When
he was gone, there would only be a few
hundred pounds between me and starvation.
However, I denied him nothing in reason,
allowed him gradually decreasing
pocket-money, and, as he grew younger, exercised
entire authority. To this he submitted
humbly enough now. He was a bad boy, as
boys go--a sly, calculating, cruel boy; but
a circumstance happened soon after we left
Fowey which practically made grandfather
helpless, and placed him under my complete
control. It was this. With dwindling
intellect his memory also waned, and ultimately
broke down altogether. He forgot the past,
he forgot his own extraordinary situation and
destination, he quite forgot our relationship,
and soon simply believed that things were as
they seemed. One day he electrified me by
talking with bright, boyish confidence of
"growing up" and marrying a bonny bride,
and becoming a smuggler. "Growing up"!
Poor little darling, he was growing down at
the rate of a year every six weeks. But now
the old man's mental troubles were practically
at an end, and I thanked heaven for it.
Literally he was twice a child. He gave up
cigarettes and took to chocolate, and stupid
little toys. At rare intervals, inspired by the
friends he picked up in our wanderings, he
showed flashes of ambition, and pestered me
to know when I was going to send him to
school like other boys. He grumbled and
said he believed he was backward. I denied
it and temporised. I told him he was more
than clever. Of course, to send him to school
would have been frank and senseless waste of
money. Besides, the New Scheme must have
been discovered in a fortnight. He travelled
half price now, for he was not more than ten
years old when I took him to Dawlish. Before
we had been at that small but delightful
sea-side resort six weeks, grandfather openly
bought a little iron spade and bucket, thereby
proving that childhood had set in. I had him
well in hand in Devonshire, and I may state
that my own peace of mind was comparatively
such that I had almost cured myself of a
weakness I have not hidden here--a weakness
brought on by the terrors of the past. And
dear grandfather's own favourite beverage,
subject to my sanction, was sherbet now.
Indeed, taking one thing with another, that
last summer in the West of England with my
grandparent, proved the happiest time I spent
from the beginning of the New Scheme to its
close. He was quite happy too. He made
sand castles, and tormented the shrimps which
he caught from time to time, and otherwise
conducted himself like a simple, healthy little
lad of eight years old.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="fine-by-degrees-and-beautifully-less"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER XXIII.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">"FINE BY DEGREES, AND BEAUTIFULLY LESS."</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>I would willingly draw a veil over the
last year of my grandfather's life, but I
have set my hand to the pen and will not turn
back, though nothing but grief and horror and
the ghosts of dead miseries haunt me as I
write.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>When the old man was about eight years
old, I put him into a blue sailor suit, bought
him a wooden hoop, and took him to a new
locality. We left Dawlish and went up to
Tavybridge--a pretty spot on Dartmoor.
Here I proposed staying for at least a month.
It now became necessary to regulate his hours,
see that he had fairly wholesome food, and
keep him clean. His memory had long grown
an absolute blank. He put his little hand in
mine, trotted about over the moors and
through the country, and clamoured first for
a pony, secondly to be allowed to sing in the
choir at a quaint old country place of worship.
I did not see my way to gratifying either
ambition. At Tavybridge grandpapa speedily
waned. He called me "Granny" now, and
quite believed it was so; I addressed him both
in public and private as "Daniel," and let
people believe that his parents were in India.
Though I lacked the comfort and support of
having a man in the house, to whom I could
go with all my sorrows and anxieties, yet the
loss was more than compensated by the relief
of knowing that my ancient grandparent was
now powerless to do further ill, either to
himself or other people. But, strange to say,
though absolute infancy now threatened him,
his love for the sex was not even yet wholly
dead. I well remember grandfather coming to
me, hand in hand with a little village maid of
some six summers, and acquainting me with
the fact that they were engaged.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"This is Bessie Wiggles, grandma," said the
venerable sufferer; "I met her down by the
bridge over the river, and I gave her sweeties
and a kite, and she gived me a kiss for them,
and we's going to be married, Bessie Wiggles
and me, when we's grown up."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I promised them they should be. This was
an attachment which really mattered nothing.
It kept grandfather out of mischief, and made
him part with at least a proportion of the
deleterious rubbish he bought with his weekly
sixpence of pocket-money. I felt that two
small stomachs might carry a load of toffee
and other horrid stuffs, which must certainly
upset one. It was an idyllic engagement.
Bessie Wiggles came to tea constantly, and
grandpapa would talk with confidence of his
future and the great things he should do when
he was a man. The children walked about
the village hand in hand. The villagers
smiled and said it was pretty to see them.
Then one day a herd of cows, going to be
milked, knocked grandfather down accidentally
and bruised him, and terrified him to such an
extent that he prayed I would take him away
from Tavybridge instantly, to some remote
spot where there were no more cows. He
abandoned Bessie Wiggles without a murmur,
and I took him away to Exeter. He was
rapidly approaching the age of five years or
one hundred and nine and a half, according
from which Scheme you looked at him.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>My stay at the old cathedral city was even
shorter than I had intended, for grandfather
got damp on a bleak December day, and
abstracted some almonds and raisins out of a
cupboard when I was not by. This combination
of circumstances resulted for him in a bad
attack of croup. Very foolishly, and forgetting
that in such a case appearances must be much
against me, I did not send for a doctor, but
contented myself with patting the old man on
the back and giving him repeated drinks of
Eno's Fruit Salt. This I knew was not the
right treatment for croup, but what did it
matter? Grandfather would certainly be
perfectly well again in the morning. After
all his adventures, this paltry childish ailment
was not going to destroy him now. I felt very
certain of that. But, unfortunately, the
landlady heard grandfather making a great deal of
noise about two in the morning, and, being a
mother, she recognised the sound, and was
instantly up in arms to help me. When she
found I did not intend sending for a medical
man, she became both vulgar and offensive.
She accused me of fooling a helpless child's
life away. She said:</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"I know what it is to be a mother, though
you've forgotten, it seems. Eno's salts for
croup! Lord! You be daft, I should think.
What would that poor lamb's ma say if she
knowed?"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I said:</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Its ma's in heaven long ago; probably she
does know. I venture to think she would be
quite satisfied with my treatment."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Shame on 'e!" she answered. "A horphan--that
makes it wus and wus. I guess you be
no better 'n a baby-farmer--now then!"</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Thereupon I declined further conversation,
and gave her notice that I should leave that
day week. She replied that it would be
impossible for me to leave too soon for her,
though her heart bled for the ill-used child,
meaning my grandparent. Stung to anger,
I was almost tempted to hint at the New
Scheme, but bitter experience and my better
judgment told me such an action, taking into
consideration the mental calibre of the woman,
must be worse than futile. So I bid her go
to her room; she departed with the word
"murderess" on her lips, and the incident
terminated.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Of course, grandfather was pretty right the
next day, but disorders now gained upon him
rapidly, and I know I was to blame for adding
a good deal of unnecessary suffering to those
last fleeting years of his life. His
stomach-aches, his rashes, his mumps, might all have
been avoided had I understood better the care
of the extremely youthful. Everywhere I went
I heard expressions of open surprise that I, a
woman of seventy-five apparently, and a
grandmother, should know so precious little about
babies. And, of course, the old man was
shrivelling with such cruel rapidity now that
my knowledge could not keep pace with him.
When I understood the nature and requirements
of a child of five he was already four;
by the time I grasped his needs at this age he
had sunk to three.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>We were at Bideford when I put him into
short frocks and kept flannel next his skin and
looked round for a second-hand perambulator.
He was always ailing at this stage, and frightfully
fretful, owing to a complication of disorders.
He had whooping-cough and a slight touch of
congestion of the lungs, and measles and a
sore throat. His teeth worried him terribly,
too. God alone knows what was happening
to them. The process put the poor old man
to evident torment, and to hear him say again
and again: "Oh, ganny, my toofs </span><em class="italics">is</em><span> hurtin' me
so," would have made angels weep. For all I
know it did. The celestial being who could
gaze unmoved at Daniel Dolphin's sufferings
during those last, awful, loathsome years of his
earthly life would have been hard-hearted
indeed. And heaven must have pitied me a
trifle too--especially at Bideford, after I had
put him into short frocks.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>When he was one hundred and nine and
three-quarters--when but three months
remained before the climax--he lost the art of
walking and talking about the same time. He
seemed easy to manage without these
accomplishments. I certainly missed his childish
prattle as it gradually dwindled and ceased,
but when command of locomotion slipped from
him my work was much lightened. As a young
child he had been very trying; now, on the
dawn of babyhood, he enjoyed better health
and got prettier to look at, at least, so it struck
me. Indeed, he gradually grew to be the
dearest, best-tempered little mite any woman
ever loved and cuddled. I thought how proud
his dear mother must have been of him more
than a century ago. I also marvelled that so
bonny a babe should have blossomed into such
a funny child, and such an unsatisfactory man.
Of course, I was led by appearances myself now.
I could not revere the aged man I danced on
my knee and fondled and hugged. I could not
realise that this blue-eyed, thumb-sucking,
crowing, kicking atom was my grandfather.
My imagination was not equal to the task of
grasping these facts. I only know that we
lurked at Basingstoke three weeks, and then at
Brixton; and that I lived night and day for
grandfather, as his sun sank to the setting. I
took him for long rides in his perambulator,
and looked to his every want and joyed in his
innocent, little, waning life. His curls went at
Clapham Junction; the short, lanky locks of
a year-old infant soon covered his bulbous
skull; his proportions were those of tenderest
youth. An awful expanse of brow and a
triangular mouth had appeared; his nose
had dwindled to a mere upturned lump, his
eyes assumed the fatuous blear and blink of
babyhood; he gasped and he gurgled, and
jerked and panted, and stretched out fat fingers
to me. He was always good-tempered to the
last, though his intervals of weeping grew
longer and longer. One thing he never could
stand: my singing. When his first teeth were
undergoing some unhallowed metamorphosis
he had a succession of very bad nights, and at
such times, until I realised the facts, I
endeavoured to soothe him with musical lullabies.
But I soon found my voice exercised a
peculiarly irritating effect on grandfather. He
had not enjoyed it even in the past, so I ceased
from vocal efforts and never sang again.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Anon we went to Kilburn, when grandfather
had but one year left to live by the New
Scheme and rather more than five weeks by
the old. Then he began to play with his toes,
and that was the beginning of the end.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst" id="the-passing-of-grandpapa"><span class="bold large">CHAPTER XXIV.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="bold italics medium">THE PASSING OF GRANDPAPA.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>I shall not set down here the hard words
hurled at me by different lodging-house
keepers, who took it upon themselves to
criticise my management of grandfather.
Because, for instance, I persisted in feeding him
latterly on condensed milk, instead of wasting
money upon a wet nurse, I was unmercifully
abused. But I went my way, and soon had
him in long frocks, and took him from Kilburn
to Ravenscourt Park. Here I was accused of
being a baby-thief, because I explained as usual
that the infant's parents were in India.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>"Its ma must be a pretty quick traveller
then," said the sceptical landlady. "That
hinfant ain't a day more than three weeks old,
or I'm no judge."</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>She was nearly right. It wanted now but
one month to make grandfather a hundred and
ten or nothing at all. It was, in fact, twenty-nine
days before he was born, or after, according
as you look at it. I got very muddled over
his age about this time myself. I only
remembered the date of his birthday, and realised
that on the night before that anniversary the
New Scheme would come to an end. The old
man was now a mere hairless, blotchy, howling
fragment, needing ceaseless attention at all
hours of night and day. A bitter thought often
came to me while I was getting his bottle--that
my tiny grandfather should be going to
such an unsatisfactory place so soon. For I
never could believe, despite what the lawyers
said, that his fiendish opponent had made any
radical blunder in the agreement.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>As the long days followed each other I
became overstrung and hysterical, and felt that
a very little more of it would send me mad.
I let grandpapa drop out of his perambulator
one day in Ravenscourt Park, where I had taken
him for an airing. Of course, he screamed as
only a frightened baby can, and attracted the
attention of a policeman. The constable merely
addressed me good-humouredly, but a ribald
crowd collected in no time. Boys chaffed,
women cried shame on me; an officious old
fool, who said he belonged to some institution
for the Prevention of Brutality to Infants in
Arms, insisted on taking my address. I gave
it to him, trundled grandfather home, and
moved to Turnham Green the same evening.
At our new lodgings I told the truth for once,
and said grandfather's poor mother was dead.
The landlady here was young, and had a baby of
her own, and showed me great kindness and
sympathy. She prophesied all manner of
hopeful things for grandfather, but feared that
I should never live to see him grow up.
There were reasonable grounds for such a
doubt, for I was now much more than my age,
and growing somewhat infirm. The last ten
years had added not less than thirty to my
own life. I looked pretty nearly eighty now,
and felt considerably older.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>A feeling of awe and horror daily gained
ground upon me at this season. I was haunted
by the thought of that awful night so close at
hand, and I pictured a thousand terrors. I
strung myself up to the task of facing the
future alone, but I would have given all I
possessed to feel that during those supreme
last moments some fellow-creature--a medical
man or one of the clergy for choice--would be
with me. But I had kept my poor grandfather's
secret for ten years, and meant keeping
it to the end. The final problem, however,
was quite full of horrid possibility. One night
I thought of an idea that made me turn goose-flesh
all over. What if on the expiring of the
New Scheme grandfather should revert to the
old? What if on the morning of his hundred
and tenth birthday, instead of finding nothing
in his cradle, I should rise and be confronted
with the withered remains of a centenarian?
Of course, it would not matter much to
grandfather, but an event of that kind must leave me
in a dilemma, beside which the New Scheme
itself was a mere child's problem. What would
the landlady say? What would anybody say?
I determined that no one should have half a
chance to say anything. It was merely justice
to myself. I arranged a programme for that
last night. The time of the year was late June,
the weather beautiful, so a week before the
end I took train to North London. I made
up my mind to spend the last night of grandfather's
life quite alone with him on the wilds
of Hampstead Heath. Then, if he suffered
any further outrageous transformation at the
last, I could just leave him there, and he would
be found and duly buried after a coroner's
inquest, and I could put flowers on the grave
anonymously afterwards. If, on the other hand,
he simply went out, I should be able to rejoin
my boxes, which would be waiting at the
nearest railway station, and go upon my way
unsuspected. If he suddenly disappeared in a
lodging-house, it seemed clear to me that I
should probably be arrested on suspicion of
murder. I took two rooms not far from the
Heath, and watched grandfather's last week
pass away in ceaseless wailing. Then came
the night before his birthday. That evening
I gave up the lodgings, sent my boxes to the
station, and after a meat tea and the first dose
of stimulant I had taken for a year, went forth
to the final scene. Every seat upon Hampstead
Heath that night seemed to be engaged by
parties of two. The daylight waned slowly.
Not until nine o'clock did the moonlight begin
to grow strong enough to throw shadows. By
ten it flooded the Heath with soft grey light.
The scene was extremely peaceful; it even
soothed to some slight extent the chaos in my
heart. Grandfather slept. He had been unusually
silent all day. He had shrunk, of course,
to a mere red, new-born atom now. I had him
snugly in a bundle all done up with safety pins.
I remember wondering, even at that solemn
time, how the Devil would be able to get
grandfather out of that bundle without undoing
the pins.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>About eleven o'clock I threw his bottle away,
for I knew he would never want it again. It
was a beautiful night for the passing of
grandpapa. I only hoped and prayed that he </span><em class="italics">would</em><span>
pass, and have done with it. I rambled about
in the shadows cast by the moon, and peeped
from time to time into the blanket I carried
to see if anything was happening to grandfather;
but he nestled there, silent and wide
awake. I shivered as I looked into his round,
open eyes, bright with moonlight. There was
an unutterably weird expression in them, for
they had intelligence once more; they were the
eyes of a thinking being. It would hardly
have surprised me at that moment if he had
spoken and exchanged ideas with me. But he
kept deadly silence, looking out of his blanket
with those round moon-lit eyes that haunt me
still. And then a strange thing happened.
Despite my agitation, and the fact that I was
now shaking with excitement, and suffering
from palpitation of the heart, a great longing
for sleep crept over me. I yearned to close
my eyes; an astounding feeling, almost
approaching indifference, rose within me. I
actually heard myself saying, "I must sleep,
I must sleep; it won't make any difference to
him." I fought against the overpowering
drowsiness, being sure that it was simply sent
by some malevolent, supernatural power, in
order to prevent me from being in at the finish,
so to speak. But my efforts were unavailing.
As a distant church clock chimed half-past
eleven, I sank down at the top of a bank under
some gorse bushes, and the last action of which
I am conscious was that I drew grandfather
close to me and put my arms tight round
him--those poor old arms that had been of some
use to him in the past, but were powerless now.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Doubtless I slept for half-an-hour. Then
I was awakened suddenly by the wail of a
new-born babe. I sat up wildly. The bundle
with grandfather in it was not in my arms. It
had apparently rolled to the bottom of the
bank. But even as I rose to struggle after it,
the shrill cry of the infant changed to the
mumbling groan of one infinitely old, and
across the gorse bushes, in the haze of the
moonlight, I saw the passing of grandfather.
Whether the vision came out of my own brain,
or was actually visible to my eyes, I cannot
say. All I remember is that I distinctly heard
my name, "Martha, Martha!" called twice in
weak but frenzied accents, and saw an old,
bent figure, with the moonbeams shining on
its bald head, move across the light. It was
stretching thin, bony fingers out towards me,
and wringing its hands at the same time. I
struggled to reach it, but suddenly grew
conscious of something that came between--something
formless and unutterable. There was a
laugh in the air, harsh, unearthly, like a
parrot's. It died away, and the echo of a moan
seemed to crawl as though alive through the
high gorse. Then there was silence, and I,
with my hands groping in front of me, fell
forward unconscious.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>I cannot have been insensible for very long,
as facts proved. When I recovered again the
moon still shone brightly, but the east already
trembled with dawn, and it was cold. I
staggered down the bank to where the baby's
cry had come from, and there lay the bundle,
just as I had clasped it to my heart. I opened
it; it was still warm as a nest from which the
sitting bird has just flown; but it was empty.
At the moment I awoke I must have missed
grandfather's birth or death, or departure or
arrival, by the fraction of a second. I searched
frantically round for him; I tore my face and
my gloves in the furze and briars; I raised
my voice and shrieked to him, and fell on my
knees and prayed for him; but under my mad
frenzy there throbbed a thought that spoke to
me coldly and told me he was gone--clean
gone, and vanished away for ever.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Presently I found a vacant seat, where I sat
and collected myself. I dried the blood from
a thorn scratch across my face, brushed the
mud from my dress, and then, as a golden
dawn flashed over the dew and woke the birds,
I crawled away towards the railway station.
A train for working men went at five, but I
had to wait an hour and a half for it, and the
time dragged. Every moment I expected to
hear grandfather's cry, and once I found my
foot mechanically rocking his cradle. Then
they opened the station, and I took a ticket to
Baker Street, and saw my two boxes labelled,
and went back into the world--alone.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span>* * * * *</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>I have set this narrative out with my own
hand, and left it in safe keeping. When I am
gone, and not sooner, I have directed that it
shall be given to my fellow creatures. There
is nothing more to add. For my own part, I
am passing the fag-end of my life in
seclusion--unknown, forgotten. So I would have it.
I recently put up a cenotaph to grandfather's
memory in the little village church which I
regularly attend. There can be no harm in that. I
still think the old man was most unfairly treated,
and I shall not hesitate to say so hereafter if
opportunity ever offers. As for my own dismal
part in probably the most awful tragedy earth's
annals ever recorded, I need say nothing.
Those ten ghastly, sunless years are always
with me, and I should have hesitated before
adding another sad book to the many in the
world, but that I hold it my duty to record
these facts. My object is that a materialistic
age may be confounded, that those who do not
believe in the principalities and powers by
which mankind is secretly led and guided,
blinded and befooled, may pause and reflect
before they find themselves meshed in some
muddling devil's web, from which there is no
escape.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>If an outrage of this sort can happen once, it
may again. Who is safe?</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span>FINIS.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span class="small">PLYMOUTH:
<br/>WILLIAM BRENDON AND SON,
<br/>PRINTERS.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span>* * * * * * * *</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold medium">TELEGRAMS: ASSIDUOUS, LONDON.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold medium">15, CRAVEN STREET, STRAND,
LONDON, W.C.
1895.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>A Catalogue of New Books and New Editions published by
BLISS, SANDS, and FOSTER at 15
Craven Street, Strand, London, W.C.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><em class="italics small">To be obtained of all booksellers,
and at all libraries; or of the publishers,
post-free on remittance of the published price.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold">CONTENTS.</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>Biography and History
<br/>Travel and Topography
<br/>Miscellaneous
<br/>Poetry
<br/>Fiction:--The Modern Library
<br/> " Novels
<br/> " Novels (continued)
<br/> " Novels (continued)
<br/> " Novels (continued)
<br/>Books for Children
<br/> " " (continued)--The Story Book Series
<br/>Works on Nature</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span class="large">PUBLIC MEN OF TO-DAY.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>AN INTERNATIONAL SERIES.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="italics">Edited by S. H. JEYES.</em></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>LI HUNG CHANG, BY Prof. ROBT. K. DOUGLAS.
<br/>The Rt. Hon. CECIL RHODES, BY EDWARD DICEY, C.B.
<br/>THE AMEER, ABDUR RAHMAN, BY STEPHEN WHEELER.
<br/>THE GERMAN EMPEROR, WILLIAM II., BY CHARLES LOWE.
<br/>SENOR CASTELAR, BY DAVID HANNAY.
<br/>LORD CROMER, BY H. D. TRAILL.
<br/>SIGNOR CRISPI, BY W. J. STILLMAN.
<br/>M. STAMBULOFF, BY A. HULME BEAMAN.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><em class="italics">With Portrait, and Maps where necessary.</em></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>Price 3/6</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span class="small">Crown 8vo, from 224 to 256 pages.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span class="small">Other Volumes are in negotiation, and will shortly be announced.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>The object of this Series is to furnish English readers
all over the world with a biographical account and
critical appreciation of the leading public men of the time,
the makers of contemporary history. In the choice of
subjects care has been taken to select Monarchs or Ministers
whose careers have been interesting, and who have played
a prominent part in stirring and important scenes. It is,
however, the aim of the writers, not merely to present
a number of personal portraits of important Statesmen, but
also to trace and explain the political and social development
of the nations to which they belong.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>It is believed, therefore, that a perusal of these volumes,
written by distinguished and well-qualified observers, will
result in a better understanding than most persons possess of
the daily news cabled from all parts of the Old and the New
World, and will invest with a more lively significance the
foreign telegrams published in the British, Colonial, and
American press.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>The Series will also be found to have a certain
educational value for the more intelligent students in Schools
and Colleges. It is too much the custom to fill young minds
with the minute details of past epochs, and to cut modern
history short just at the point where it might be rendered
most attractive and specially useful.</span></p>
<p class="pnext"><span>Each volume contains one or more portraits, and maps
are given where they are necessary to elucidate the text.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold">BIOGRAPHY AND HISTORY--continued.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>AN ACCOUNT OF SHELLEY'S VISITS TO
FRANCE, SWITZERLAND, AND SAVOY,
in the Years 1814 and 1816.</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>With extracts from "The History of a Six Weeks
Tour;" and, "Letters descriptive of a Sail round the
Lake of Geneva and of the Glaciers of Chamouni,"
first published in the year 1817.</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>By CHARLES I. ELTON, author of "Origins of English
History," "The Career of Columbus," &c.</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>Containing 14 pen and ink sketches and two copper etchings. By
C. R. B. BARRETT.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span class="small">Crown 8vo, Irish linen, gilt top, inlaid parchment, 10s. 6d.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="italics small">Also a limited Large Paper Edition of 50 copies.
<br/>Price on application to the Booksellers</em><span class="small">.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>JAMES RUSSELL LOWELL: a Monograph
entitled, The Poet and the Man. By the late
FRANCIS H. UNDERWOOD, LL.D. New and Cheaper
Edition. Crown 8vo, cloth, 2s. 6d.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span class="small">(</span><em class="italics small">The best Edition, buckram, gilt top, price 4s. 6d., can still be obtained.</em><span class="small">)</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>A HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES NAVY,
from 1775 to 1893. By EDGAR STANTON MACLAY, A.M.
With technical revision by LIEUTENANT ROY C. SMITH,
U.S.N. In two volumes (over 1000 pp.) Demy 8vo, gilt
top. 1£ 11s. 6d.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>THE LIBERATION OF BULGARIA. Notes of a
War Correspondent. By W. HUYSHE. Fully Illustrated.
Demy 8vo, 6s.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold">TRAVEL AND TOPOGRAPHY.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>SURREY: Highways, Byways, and Waterways.</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>With about 160 pen and ink, and four copper-plate
etchings.--By C. R. B. BARRETT, Author of
"Somersetshire: Highways, Byways, and Waterways."
Crown 4to, cloth extra. Price 21s. net.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span>BY THE SAME AUTHOR.</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>SOMERSETSHIRE: Highways, Byways, and
Waterways. With 160 pen and ink, and four (or six)
copper-plate etchings.--By CHARLES R. B. BARRETT,
Author of "Essex: Highways, Byways, and Waterways."</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>The above work is issued in two forms--</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>(a) The ordinary edition in crown 4to, bound in cloth extra,
with four copper-plate
etchings, on Van Gelder Paper. Price 21s. net.</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>(b) A large paper edition, limited to 65 copies,
numbered and signed by the author.
This edition is in demy 4to,
printed on the finest plate paper, and contains
six copper-plate etchings.
The work is sent in sheets, together with a
portfolio containing a complete set of India proofs
of the whole of the Illustrations. Price 2£ 2s. each, post free.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>A WINTER JAUNT TO NORWAY. With Accounts
(from personal acquaintance) of Nansen, Ibsen,
Bjornson, Brandes, etc.--By Mrs. ALEC TWEEDIE,
Author of "A Girl's Ride in Iceland," and "The
Passion Play at Oberammergau." Fully Illustrated.
Second and cheaper edition. Demy 8vo, 7s. 6d.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="italics">The above forms an excellent work for School Prizes.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold">MISCELLANEOUS.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="pfirst"><span>QUABBIN: The Story of a Small Town, with
Outlooks upon Puritan Life.--By the late FRANCIS
H. UNDERWOOD, LL.D. Numerous Illustrations.
Large cr. 8vo, gilt top. New and cheaper Edition, 5s.</span></p>
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<p class="pfirst"><span>THE ART OF PLUCK.--By SCRIBLERUS REDIVIVUS
(Edward Caswall). New Edition. Royal 16mo,
cloth extra, gilt top, 2s. 6d.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><em class="italics">The Autobiography of the greatest Living Medium.</em></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 1em"></div>
<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>THE CLAIRVOYANCE OF BESSIE WILLIAMS
(Mrs. Russell Davies). With Preface by FLORENCE
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<p class="pfirst"><span>STRIKES, LABOUR QUESTIONS, AND OTHER
ECONOMIC DIFFICULTIES.--By A. W. JOHNSTON,
Author of "The New Utopia." Crown
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<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold">POETRY.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span>LAYS OF THE DRAGON SLAYER.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>BY MAXWELL GRAY.</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>Author of "Canterbury Chimes,"
"The Silence of Dean Maitland," etc., etc.</span></p>
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<p class="center pnext"><span>A SELECTION OF THE BEST COMIC POEMS.</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>Including Works by OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES; BRET HARTE;
HANS BREITMAN; LEWIS CARROLL; T. HOOD; etc. With a Critical
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<p class="center pnext"><span>Small Crown 8vo, 2s. 6d.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>BY G. H. POWELL.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span>THE LEGEND OF BIRSE,</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>And other Poems.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>BY LORD GRANVILLE GORDON.</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>With a photogravure frontispiece portrait of the author.
Printed on
hand-made paper, rubricated, and luxuriously bound in vellum.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>Price £1 1s. net.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold">FICTION.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>THE MODERN LIBRARY.</span></p>
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<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span>1.--A LATTER DAY ROMANCE.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>BY MRS. MURRAY HICKSON.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span>2.--THE WORLD'S PLEASURES.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>BY CLARA SAVILE-CLARKE.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span>3.--A NAUGHTY GIRL.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>BY J. ASHBY STERRY.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>AUTHOR OF "THE LAZY MINSTREL," ETC., ETC.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span>4.--"HEAVENS!"</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>BY ALOIS VOJTECH SMILOVSKY.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>A Bohemian Novel, translated from the Czech by Professor MOUREK,
<br/>of Prague University, and JANE MOUREK.</span></p>
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<p class="center pfirst"><span>5.--A CONSUL'S PASSENGER.</span></p>
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<p class="pfirst"><span>LIBRARY NOVELS.</span></p>
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<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>MISS PRECOCITY.</span></p>
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<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="noindent pfirst"><em class="italics">The following Surplus Library Novels are now offered at 6/-
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<p class="noindent pnext"><span>A LIFE AWRY. By PERCIVAL PICKERING. In 3 Vols.</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>DR. GREY'S PATIENT. By Mrs. G. S. REANEY. In 3 Vols.</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>IN AN ORCHARD. By Mrs. MACQUOID. In 2 Vols.</span></p>
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"The Raiders," etc. Large Crown 8vo, cloth, gilt top, 6s.</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>ON TURNHAM GREEN: being The Adventures
of a Gentleman of the Road.--By CHARLES T. C. JAMES,
Author of "Miss Precocity," "Holy
Wedlock," etc. Crown 8vo, cloth, 6s.</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>M'CLELLAN OF M'CLELLAN.--By HELEN
P. REDDEN. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 6s.</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>THE DAUGHTERS OF DANAUS.--By Mrs. MONA
CAIRD. Third Edition. Crown 8vo, 480 pp., cloth, 6s.</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>DUST BEFORE THE WIND.--By MAY CROMMELIN.
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<p class="noindent pnext"><span>INSCRUTABLE.--By ESMÈ STUART. Crown 8vo, 3s. 6d.</span></p>
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<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL.--By EDEN
PHILLPOTTS, Author of "In Sugar Cane Land," etc.
Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 2s. 6d.</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>AN AGITATOR: The Story of a Strike Leader--By
CLEMENTINA BLACK. A Novel dealing with Social
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<p class="noindent pnext"><span>THE STORY OF MY DICTATORSHIP.--ANONYMOUS.
New and Cheaper Edition. Fourth
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<p class="noindent pnext"><span>THE HYPNOTIC EXPERIMENT OF DR. REEVES,
and other Stories.--By CHARLOTTE
ROSALYS JONES. Fcap. 8vo, cloth, 2s.</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>LAME DOGS: An Impressionist Study.--By
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<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold">BOOKS FOR CHILDREN.</span></p>
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<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>HERCULES AND THE MARIONETTES.</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>BY R. MURRAY GILCHRIST.</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>FULLY ILLUSTRATED BY CHARLES P. SAINTON.</span></p>
<p class="noindent pnext"><span>Large Crown 4to, printed In large type,
and artistically bound, with cover
design by the Author, price 5s.</span></p>
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<p class="center pfirst"><span>THE QUEEN WHO FLEW.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>BY FORD HUEFFER.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>WITH FRONTISPIECE BY SIR E. BURNE-JONES, BART., AND
<br/>BORDER DESIGN BY C. R. B. BARRETT.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>Imperial 16mo. Cloth. Price 3s. 6d.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span>THE ADVENTURES OF PRINCE ALMERO.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>BY WILHELMINA PICKERING.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>ILLUSTRATED BY MARGARET HOOPER.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>Imperial 16mo. Cloth. Price 3s. 6d.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span>NURSERY LYRICS.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>BY Mrs. RICHARD STRACHEY. ILLUSTRATED BY G. P. JACOMB HOOD.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>Imperial 16mo. Price 3s. 6d.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold">THE STORY BOOK SERIES.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>Royal 16mo. Half-cloth extra, and Cupid paper. 1s. 6d.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>1.--STELLA.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>By MRS. G. S. REANEY.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>ILLUSTRATED BY W. F. WHITEHEAD.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span>2.--MY AUNT CONSTANTIA JANE.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>By MARY E. HULLAH.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>ILLUSTRATED BY W. F. WHITEHEAD.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span>3.--LITTLE GLORY'S MISSION,</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span class="small">AND</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>NOT ALONE IN THE WORLD.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>By MRS. G. S. REANEY.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>ILLUSTRATED BY L. CALDECOTT.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 2em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span>4.--HANS AND HIS FRIEND.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>By MARY E. HULLAH.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>ILLUSTRATED BY W. F. WHITEHEAD.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 4em"></div>
<p class="center pfirst"><span class="bold">THE COUNTRY MONTH BY MONTH.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>BY</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>J. A. OWEN,</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>Author of "</span><em class="italics">Forest, Field, and Fell</em><span>";
<br/>and Editor of "</span><em class="italics">A Son of the Marshes.</em><span>"</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>AND</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>PROFESSOR G. S. BOULGER, F.L.S., F.G.S.,</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><em class="italics">Author of "Familiar Trees"; "The Uses of Plants"; etc.</em></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>WITH A COVER DESIGN BY J. LOCKWOOD KIPLING.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>Price, paper covers, gilt top, 1s.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>Cloth, silk sewn, inlaid parchment, 2s.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>The above consists of Twelve Monthly Parts, each complete in itself.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>One set of 12 (paper), in paper box, price 12s.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>One set of 12 (cloth), in cloth box, price 24s.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>The above are also bound in Four Quarterly Volumes--</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>SPRING; SUMMER; AUTUMN; WINTER.</span></p>
<p class="center pnext"><span>Price 5s. each Volume. Cloth, bevelled boards, inlaid parchment,
<br/>gilt edges.</span></p>
<div class="vspace" style="height: 3em"></div>
<p class="noindent pfirst"><span>BY VOCAL WOODS AND WATERS. Nature
Studies.--By EDWARD STEP. Crown 8vo. Fully
Illustrated. Ornamental binding. 5s.</span></p>
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