<SPAN name="startofbook"></SPAN>
<h1><i>Dere Mable</i>--</h1>
<h3>LOVE LETTERS OF A ROOKIE</h3>
<h5>BY</h5>
<h3>EDWARD STREETER</h3>
<h6>27TH (N.Y.) DIVISION</h6>
<h5>WITH 35 ILLUSTRATIONS IN BLACK-AND-WHITE BY</h5>
<h3>G. WILLIAM BRECK</h3>
<h4>("<i>Bill Breck</i>")</h4>
<h5>27TH (N.Y.) DIVISION</h5>
<br/>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/004.png" width-obs="10%" alt=""></p>
<br/>
<h5>1918</h5>
<br/>
<br/>
<hr style="width: 35%;">
<br/>
<br/>
<h2>DEDICATION</h2>
<br/>
<blockquote>To a million Private Bills who have suddenly learnt to
call a coat a blouse. Taking things as they find them. Vaguely
understanding. Caring less. Grumbling by custom. Cheerful by
nature. Ever anxious to be where they are not. Ever anxious to be
somewhere else when they get there. Without thought of sacrifice.
Who have left the flag-waving to those at home. Who serve as a
matter of course.</blockquote>
<br/>
<br/>
<hr style="width: 35%;">
<br/>
<br/>
<h2>LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS</h2>
<center>
<table summary="">
<tr>
<td><SPAN href="#003.png">Mable</SPAN></td>
<td align="right"><i>Frontispiece</i></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#012.png">The only place there flat is on the
map</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">2</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#013.png">You can read em to your
granchildren</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">3</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#016.png">You walk a post but there aint no
post</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">4</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#020.png">I just found it in my bakin can</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">6</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#024.png">I dont like any sargeant</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">8</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#025.png">I dont care much for horses, they feels the
same way about me</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">9</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#028.png">Max Glucos what lives on the next
cot</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">10</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#029.png">Smith are you laffin at me?</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">11</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#034.png">One day its our teeth</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">14</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#038.png">Remember me to your mother</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">16</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#042.png">Not the kind your father has</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">18</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#043.png">I wear them every night over my
uniform</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">19</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#046.png">I been made an officer</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">20</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#047.png">Somebodied set a trunk on the
turky</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">21</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#050.png">Built like the leg of a sailurs
trowsers</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">22</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#054.png">You paint a horse black and white
stripes</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">24</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#058.png">I spent mine doin Kitchen police</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">26</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#059.png">I wish that hired girl could come
down</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">27</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#064.png">A croquette is a French society
woman</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">30</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#068.png">I sat next to a Colonels wife</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">32</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#072.png">Men hate to be watched while they are
freezin</SPAN>quot;</td>
<td align="right">34</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#076.png">I had a reputashun for a devil with the
wimen</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">36</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#080.png">It seemed to depres them awful</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">38</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#084.png">If I catch one of those ailin enemies
windin up your victrola</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">40</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#088.png">Stuck my head out of the blankets</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">42</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#092.png">When I looked in the tin mirror I thought I
was starvin</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">44</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#096.png">They come round an watch you eat
it</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">46</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#100.png">Army food always runs</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">48</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#104.png">He smokes cigarets something
awful</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">50</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#108.png">I poured some oil out of his lamp</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">52</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#112.png">I even got mud in my hair</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">54</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#113.png">The water comes through on me</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">55</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#118.png">The last time I will take my pen in hand
for you</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">58</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>"<SPAN href="#122.png">It wont be no use runin to the
door</SPAN>"</td>
<td align="right">60</td>
</tr>
</table>
</center>
<br/>
<br/>
<hr style="width: 35%;">
<br/>
<br/>
<h2>Dere Mable</h2>
<h3>Love Letters of a Rookie</h3>
<p><i>Dere Mable:</i></p>
<br/>
<p>I guess you thought I was dead. Youll never know how near you
was to right. We got the tents up at last, though, so I got a minit
to rite. I guess they choose these camps by mail order. The only
place there flat is on the map. Where our tents is would make a
good place for a Rocky Mountin goat if he didnt break his neck. The
first day the Captin came out an says "Pitch your tents here." Then
he went to look for someone quick before anyone could ask him how.
I wish I was a Captin. I guess he thought we was Alpine Chasers.
Eh, Mable? But you probably dont know what those are.</p>
<p>Honest, Mable, if Id put in the work I done last week on the
Panamah Canal it would have been workin long before it was. Of
course there was a lot of fellos there with me but it seemed like
all they did was to stand round and hand me shovels when I wore em
out.</p>
<p>The Captin appresheates me though. The other day he watched me
work awhile and then he says "Smith." He calls me Smith now. We got
very friendly since I been nice to him. I noticed none of the other
fellos had much to say to him. I felt kind of sorry for him. Hes a
human bein even if he is a Captin, Mable. So every time I saw him I
used to stop him and talk to him. Democratic. Thats me all over,
Mable. "Smith" he says "If they was all like you round here war
would be hell, no joke." By which he meant that we would make it
hot for the Boshes.</p>
<p>I been feelin awful sorry for you, Mable. What with missin me
and your fathers liver gone back on him again things must have been
awful lonesome for you. It isnt as if you was a girl what had a lot
of fellos hangin round all the time. Not that you couldnt have em,
Mable, but you dont an theres no use makin no bones about it. If it
hadnt been for me I guess things would have been pretty stupid
though I dont begrudge you a cent. You know how I am with my money.
I guess you ought to anyway. Eh, Mable? Never talk of money matters
in connexun with a woman. Thats me all over.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="012.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/012.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"THE ONLY PLACE THERE FLAT IS ON THE MAP"</b></p>
<br/>
<br/>
<SPAN name="013.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/013.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"YOU CAN READ EM TO YOUR GRANCHILDREN"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>Now I got started an found a fountin pen an the Y.M.C.A. givin
away paper like it does Im goin to rite you regular. They say there
goin to charge three sents for a letter pretty soon. That aint goin
to stop me though, Mable. There aint no power in heavin or earth,
as the poets say, as can come between you and me, Mable. You mite
send a few three sent stamps when you rite. That is if your fathers
able to work yet. And willin, I should add.</p>
<p>Of course it aint nothin to me but Id keep these letters what
you get from me as a record of the war. Some day you can read em to
your granchildren an say "Your Granfather Bill did all these
things." Aint I the worst, Mable? Serious though I havnt found
noone so far what has thought of doin this except the newspapers. I
guess Ill get a lot of inside stuff that theyll never see. So this
may be the only one of its kind. But it doesnt matter to me what
you do with them, Mable.</p>
<p>Later Ill tell you all about everything but I guess you wont
understand much cause its tecknickle. Lots of the fellos are gettin
nitted things and candy and stuff right along. Dont pay no
attenshun to that, though, or take it for a hint cause it aint. I
just say it as a matter of rekord. Independent if nothin. Thats me
all over.</p>
<blockquote>Yours till the war ends<br/>
<i>Bill</i></blockquote>
<br/>
<br/>
<hr style="width: 35%;">
<br/>
<br/>
<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2>
<br/>
<p>Having nothin better to do I take up my pen to rite.</p>
<p>We have been here now three weeks. As far as I am concerned I am
all ready to go. I told the Captin that I was ready any time. He
said yes, but that wed have to wait for the slow ones cause they
was all goin together. I says was I to go out to drill with the
rest. He said yes more for the example than anything else. Its kind
of maddening to be hangin round here when I might be over there
helpin the Sammies put a stop to this thing.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="016.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/016.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"YOU WALK A POST BUT THERE AINT NO POST"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>In the mean time I been doin guard duty. Seems like I been doin
it every night but I know what there up against and I dont say
nothin. Guard duty is something like extemperaneus speakin. You got
to know everything your goin to say before you start. Its very
tecknickle. For instance you walk a post but there aint no post. An
you mount guard but you dont really mount nothin. An you turn out
the guard but you dont really turn em out. They come out them
selves. Just the other night I was walkin along thinkin of you
Mable an my feet which was hurtin. It made me awful lonesome. An
officer come up and he says why dont you draw your pistol when you
here someone comin. An I says I dont wait till the sheep is stole I
drew it this afternoon from the Supply sargent. An I showed it to
him tucked inside my shirt where noone could get it away from me
without some tussel, you bet, Mable. But it seems that you got to
keep on drawin it all the time. Then later I here footsteps. I was
expectin the relief so I was right on the job. An a man come up and
I poked my pistol right in his face an says Halt. Who goes there?
And he says Officer of the day. An bein disappointed as who wouldnt
be I says Oh hell. I thought it was the relief. An he objected to
that. The relief, Mable--but whats the use you wouldnt understand
it.</p>
<p>Theres some mistake up north Mable about the way were built,
Mable. Its kind of depresin to think that you could forget about us
so quick. Everyones gettin sweters without sleeves and gloves
without fingers. We still got everything we started with Mable. Why
not sox without feet and pants without legs. If your makin these
things for after the war I think your anticipatin a little. Besides
its depresin for the fellos to be reminded all the time. Its like
givin a fello a life membership to the Old Soldiers home to cheer
him up when he sails. I was sayin the other day that if the fellos
at Washington ever get onto this theyll be issuin soleles shoes and
shirtles sleves.</p>
<p>Its gettin awful cold. No wonder this is a healthy place. All
the germs is froze. I guess there idea of the hardenin proces is to
freeze a fello stiff. The Captin said the other day we was gettin
in tents of trainin. Thats all right but Id kind of like to see
those steam heated barraks. Youve red about those fellos that go
swimmin in the ice in winter. I guess thed like our shouer baths.
They say Cleanliness is next to Godliness, Mable. I say its next to
impossible.</p>
<p>I started this letter almost a weak ago. I just found it in my
bakin can. They call it a bakin can but its too small to bake
nothin. I keep my soap in it. I got some news for you. The regiment
is to be dismantled. The Captin called me over this mornin and
asked me where Id like to be transferred. I said home if it was the
same to him. So there goin to send me to the artillery. This is a
very dangerous and useful limb of the servus, Mable. I dont kno my
address. Just write me care of the General.</p>
<p>I got the red muffler that your mother sent me. Give her my love
just the same</p>
<blockquote>yours relentlessly,<br/>
<i>Bill</i>.</blockquote>
<br/>
<SPAN name="020.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/020.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"I JUST FOUND IT IN MY BAKIN CAN"</b></p>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<hr style="width: 35%;">
<br/>
<br/>
<h2><i>Dere Mable</i>:</h2>
<br/>
<p>I havnt rote for some time I had such sore feet lately. When
they broke up our regiment and sent me over to the artillery I
thought I was goin to quit usin my feet. That was just another
roomor.</p>
<p>Thanks for the box of stuff you sent me. I guess the brakeman
must have used it for a chair all the way. It was pretty well baled
but that dont matter. And thanks for the fudge too. That was fudge
wasnt it, Mable? And the sox. They dont fit but I can use them for
somethin. A good soldier never throws nothin away. An thank your
mother for the half pair of gloves she sent me. I put them away.
Maybe sometime shell get a chance to nit the other half. Or if I
ever get all my fingers shot off theyll come in very handy.</p>
<p>The artillerys a little different from the infantry. They make
us work harder. At least theres more work on the skedule. I know
now what they mean when they say that the "artillerys active on the
western front."</p>
<p>They got a drill over here called the standin gun drill. The
names misleadin. I guess it was invented by a troop of Jap
akrobats. They make you get up and sit on the gun. Before you can
get settled comfortable they make you get down again. It looks like
they didnt know just what they did want you to do.</p>
<p>I dont like the Sargent. I dont like any sargent but this one
particular. The first day out be kept sayin "Prepare to mount" and
then "Mount." Finally I went up to him and told him that as far as
I was concerned he could cut that stuff for I was always prepared
to do what I was told even though it was the middle of the night.
He said, Fine, then I was probably prepared to scrub pans all day
Sunday.</p>
<p>I dont care much for horses. I think they feels the same way
about me. Most of them are so big that the only thing there good
for is the view of the camp you get when you climb up. They are
what they call hors de combat in French. My horse died the other
day. I guess it wasnt much effort for him. If it had been he
wouldnt have done it.</p>
<p>They got a book they call Drill Regulations Field and Light.
Thats about as censible as it is all the way through. For instance
they say that when the command for action is given one man jumps
for the wheel and another springs for the trail an another leaps
for the muzzle. I guess the fellow that rote the regulations
thought we was a bunch of grass hoppers.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="024.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/024.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"I DONT LIKE ANY SARGEANT"</b></p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="025.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/025.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"I DONT CARE MUCH FOR HORSES, THEY FEELS THE SAME WAY ABOUT
ME"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>Well I got to quit now an rite a bunch of other girls. Thanks
again for the box although it was so busted that it wasnt much good
but that dont matter.</p>
<blockquote>Yours till you here otherwise,<br/>
<i>Bill.</i></blockquote>
<br/>
<br/>
<hr style="width: 35%;">
<br/>
<br/>
<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2>
<br/>
<p>Todays Thanksgivin. Im thankful things aint no worse though Max
Glucos what lives on the next cot says they couldnt be. Cheery an
bright to the last. Thats me all over, Mable.</p>
<p>Every man gets ateen ounces of Turky on Thanksgivin. All to
himself, Mable. The sargent says the commitee on Hays and Beans at
Washington decides that. Mines inside. Im most to full for
expreshun as the poets say. We had a great dinner. Soup an turky,
dressin, crambury sause an pie an smashed potatoes. All in one
plate. I wish you could have heard how the fellos enjoyed it Mable.
I know now why they call the turkys gobblers.</p>
<p>Thanksgivin is a holiday. All a fello has to do on a holiday in
the artillery is to feed the horses an give em a drink an smooth em
out an take em for a walk an then feed em an smooth em out an feed
em an give em a drink. It makes a fello feel like givin back a
dollar out of his pay at the end of the month.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="028.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/028.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"MAX GLUCOS WHAT LIVES ON THE NEXT COT"</b></p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="029.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/029.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"SMITH ARE YOU LAFFIN AT ME?"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>The horses has the softest of anyone, Mable. They dont even have
to get up for breakfast in the morning. We bring it to em in a
little bag filled with cereul. You tie this on there face. I guess
they aint never been fed before the war broke out. When they see
you comin they start jumpin round like starvin sailurs. I dont
guess they like cereul. I wouldnt ether three times a day. I
thought theyd give em somethin different Thanksgivin but not a
chance. There always hopin it ull be somethin else I guess. When
they see the same old thing they get sore and try to step on your
feet.</p>
<p>The sargents stand way behind an say "Go on in. They wont hurt
you." An then when they land on your corn they say "Thats to bad.
You didnt do it right." I dont like sargents any better than
horses.</p>
<p>An I dont kno as Im going to like the Captin much better ether.
The other day I got laffin while I was standin in line. Just laffin
to myself. Not disturbin nobody. The Captin turns round an says
"Smith are you laffin at me?" I says no sir an he says "Well what
else was there to laff at?" Thats the kind of a fello he is. I
didn't sass him back or nothin, Mable. Just looked at him an made
him feel cheap. I saw him again in the afternoon. Course I didnt
salute. He says "What do you mean by not salutin?" I told him I
thought he was mad. Im glad Im not his wife, Mable. You never know
how to take a fello like that.</p>
<p>If I hadnt knowed they needed me Id have given him two weaks
notise on the spot. Duty before pleasure though. Thats me all
over.</p>
<p>We took the guns out to drill the other day. The Captin was
talkin about indirect firin. Thats the way he is. Nothin straight
forward about him. I asked the sargent about it. He said indirect
firin was where you shot at one thing an aimed at another. I hate
to butt in Mable but it didnt seem right. I says I seen the Indien
girl in the circus shoot the spots out of a card over her shoulder
but wouldnt it be more censible to cut out the trick stuff till we
was more used to the thing. You cant argue with sargents,
though.</p>
<p>Day after tomorrows inspecshun. They do it every Saturday. Thats
another thing Im thankful for. Theres only one Saturday a weak. We
pull everything out an pile it on our cots. Then the Captin an the
Sargent comes in. Every time its the same. He says "Thats very
dirty Smith wheres your other shirt." An I say "I aint got none,
sir." An he says "Sargent make a note of that." An then the Sargent
rites somethin in a little book. Next time just the same. The
Captin says wheres my shirt an the sargent makes a note. I guess
theres somethin in the drill regulations what makes him say that
cause I aint got no other shirt yet.</p>
<p>Well Mable Im gettin hungry again now. Guess Ill have to stop an
buy a couple of pies. We dont get nothin to eat for an hour
yet.</p>
<blockquote>yours till the ice cracks in the pale,<br/>
<i>Bill</i>.</blockquote>
<p>P.S. I had to borrow a stamp for this letter. I went down town
yesterday an spent my last sent on a money belt. Its a good one
though.</p>
<br/>
<br/>
<hr style="width: 35%;">
<br/>
<br/>
<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2>
<br/>
<p>Rainin today. No drill so Im going to rite you. If I dont get no
exercise I go all to pieces. Im back from the artillery into the
infantry. Captin an I had different ideas about runnin things. One
of us had to leave. Hed been there longest. I left. Hot headed.
Thats me all over.</p>
<p>Were doin baynut drill now. I cant say nothin about it. Its not
for wimens ears. We have one place where we hit the Hun in the nose
an rip all the decorashuns offen his uniform all in one stroke.
Then theres another where you give him a shave an a round hair cut
an end by knocking his hat over his eyes. Then the wiperzup come
over with a lot of bums an do the dirty work. I an the rest of the
fellos go ahead an take another trench. I havnt been able to find
out yet where we take it.</p>
<p>Its all worked out cientifick. The fello who doped it out had
some bean. The principul of the thing is to get the other fello an
not let him get you. If the allys bad doped out some skeme like
this the war would have been over now. There wouldnt have been no
Huns left. It takes us Uncle Sammies. Eh Mable?</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="034.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/034.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"ONE DAY IT'S OUR TEETH"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>There gettin up a thrift campain now Mable. First they sell us
enough Liberty Bonds to buy a brand new army an let us go home.
Then they cram a lot of insurence at you what wont never do you no
good after your killed. Then I guess they found that someone still
had a couple of dollars left so they made us send that back home.
Now there gettin up a thrift campain Mable. They dont want us to
spend our money foolish sos we can buy the Singer Buildin or a Ford
or somethin like that when the war is over.</p>
<p>Some one say that we was the highest payed army in the world.
Besides all this money we get our bed and board. I guess they dont
know that in the army bed and board mean the same thing. Eh, Mable?
Still the same old Bill.</p>
<p>There always inspectin us. I feel like a piece of prize beef.
They never inspect a man all the way through. I guess the
inspecters get payed by the day durin the duration of the
inspecshun. One day its our teeth an another our heart an another
our lungs. The other day we was all lined up in the company street
and the Sargent says "Inspecshun arms." I lays down my gun an rolls
up my sleves. Just to show you how tecknickle the army is he didnt
want to see my arms at all but my gun. Hows a fello goin to tell,
Mable?</p>
<p>I went up for thirds at breakfast the other morning as usual an
the cook said "You seem to like coffee." Right away without stoppin
to think or nothin I says back "Yes thats the reason Im willin to
drink so much hot water to get some." Eh, Mable?</p>
<p>Went to a dance the other night and met some swell girls. I made
em all laff. I says I guess I got the instinks of a soldier all
right. The minit I smell powder Im right on my tows.</p>
<p>I havent been very well lately. I guess Ill cut out eatin at
meals. It spoils my appitite for the rest of the day. I kno youll
be glad to kno my feet aint hurtin so much. Remember me to the
hired girl and your mother.</p>
<blockquote>Yours through the winter,<br/>
<i>Bill</i>.</blockquote>
<br/>
<SPAN name="038.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/038.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"REMEMBER ME TO YOUR MOTHER"</b></p>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<hr style="width: 35%;">
<br/>
<br/>
<h2><i>Chair Mable:</i></h2>
<br/>
<p>Thats French. I didnt expect you to kno what it meant though.
The Y.M.C.A. are learnin me French now. I only had three lessons so
far but I can talk it pretty good. You know how quick I am at
pickin up any kind of trick stuff like that. The only difference
between French and English is that there pretty near alike but the
French dont pronounce there words right.</p>
<p>When I use French words Ill underline them. Thatll give you some
idea of the languige.</p>
<p>When we get voila as the French say for over there itll come
handy to be able to sit down and have a dosy dos with them poilus.
(That means chew the rag in English.) A poilus Mable is a French
peasant girl an they say that they are very belle. (Now don't
mispronounce things an get sore till you know. You pronounce that
like the bell in push button. It means good lookers.) There crazy
about us fellos. They call us Sammies. They named one of there
rivers for us. You have heard of the battle of the Samme. But I
dont suppose you have.</p>
<p>They have been learnin us a lot about gas at attacks lately.
These are not the kind your father has. These are more like the
open places in the street on 6th avenoo. Only in the army when
anything like this happens they give you a gas mask. A gas mask is
like a cracked ice bag with windos in it. An in the front they got
a cigaret holder. I always heard how the French was cigaret feends.
I guess it got so bad they put in the holders sos they could smoke
during a gas attack.</p>
<p>Im goin to put on my mask an have my pictur took en cabinet.
Thats nothin to do with furniture, Mable. Its the French for what
its goin to look like when its done.</p>
<p>The gas fello said the other day that gas was perfectly safe
cause you could always tell when it was comin. You could hear it
escape or see it or smell it. The only trouble was, he said, that
when the gas started the machine guns made so much noise you
couldnt hear it an it always came at night sos you couldnt see it
and when you smelled it it was most to late to bother anyhow. I
been thinkin that over. Seems to me theres a joker in the contract
somewhere. Ask your father to read it over an see if it sound droit
(thats French for right) to him. Better still. Ask Higgins the
grocer to give it the once over. Hes got a grand tete as the French
say when they mean brains.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="042.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/042.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"NOT THE KIND YOUR FATHER HAS"</b></p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="043.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/043.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"I WEAR THEM EVERY NIGHT OVER MY UNIFORM"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>Its getting frappayer and frappayer down here (meaning colder
and colder). It got so cold that I put on those sox that you nitted
me. I guess I wont any more though. I guess my feet are going to
look like corderoy the rest of my life. Youll understand no hard
feelin I know. You know how delicate my feet is an how I cant
afford to prennez a hazard with them.</p>
<p>Thank your mother for the flannel pajammas. I wear them every
night over my uniform. I got to quit now an read some pictur post
cards that some girls sent me.</p>
<blockquote>Good night<br/>
(or as the French say Robe de Nuit).</blockquote>
<br/>
<br/>
<hr style="width: 35%;">
<br/>
<br/>
<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2>
<br/>
<p>I havnt rote for some time because I been made an officer.--a
corperal. I admit I deserved it. I didnt apply for it or nothin
though. They just come and told me.</p>
<p>Bein corperal means I dont have nothin more to do with details.
An at the same time I got more details than ever. Thats a sort of a
joke that us military men understand. You couldnt get it probably
Mable. Its tecknickle.</p>
<p>Yesterday being Sunday me an a couple of other officers borrowed
a couple of mules from the stable Sargent an went for a ride. We
saw a cabin that they said was a moonshiners hut but it was broad
daylight so you couldnt tell of course.</p>
<p>Its still cold. I wish thed hurry up and issue those gas masks.
Theyd come in handy these cold nights. The sargent told me that I
was goin to do interior guard tonight. I guess Im lucky to get
indoor work this wether.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="046.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/046.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"I BEEN MADE AN OFFICER"</b></p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="047.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/047.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"SOMEBODIED SET A TRUNK ON THE TURKY"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>You never saw such a place for roomors. These are army roomors.
They havnt got nothin to do with the kind your mother used to take
in. We here that were going next week an that were not goin at all
but were goin to be used to guard the Chicago stock yards. Then we
here that all the mounted men are goin to be dismounted an all the
dismounted men are goin to be mounted. An that the rest of us are
goin to be made cooks. An we here that all non coms are goin to be
abolished. Its awful hard to tell what is goin on.</p>
<p>I got your Thanksgivin box two days ago. It was only ten days
late. I guess the post office must have made some mistake. Things
is usually later than that. It was in good shape except that the
insides had been squoze out of the mince pie and somebodied set a
trunk on the turky. Of course I divided it up with my squad. Big
hearted. Thats me all over. Im awful popular with my men. They
offen say they wish Id be made a Major or somethin. My men ate up
all the stuff. All I saved for my self was the white meat an half a
mince pie. It certainly tastes good in the field. Of course we aint
in nobodies field. Thats a military expreshun. I cant explain
it.</p>
<p>I got to quit now an post a guard. At the same time Ill post
this letter to you. Thats a joke Mable. Im sorry this letter cant
be longer but as a man rises in the army he gets less an less time
to hisself. Olive oil.</p>
<blockquote>Yours faithlessly,<br/>
<i>Bill</i>.</blockquote>
<br/>
<br/>
<hr style="width: 35%;">
<br/>
<br/>
<h2><i>Mon Cherry Mable:</i></h2>
<br/>
<p>Thats the way the French begin there love letters. Its perfectly
proper. I would have rote you sooner but me an my fountin pens been
froze for a week. Washington will never know how lucky he was that
he got assigned to valley Forge instead of here. It got us out of
drill for a couple of days. Thats somethin. I guess Id rather
freeze than drill. Its awful when they make you do both though.</p>
<p>Two of my men has gone home on furlos. Me bein corperal I took
all there blankets. The men didnt like it but I got a squad of men
to look out for an my first duty is to keep fit. Duty first. Thats
me all over. I got so many blankets now that I got to put a book
mark in the place I get in at night or Id never find it again.</p>
<p>We spent most of our time tryin to find somethin to burn up in
the Sibly stoves. A sibly stove, Mable, is a piece of stove pipe
built like the leg of a sailurs trowsers. Old man Sibly must have
had a fine mind to think it out all by hisself. They say he got a
patent on it. I guess that must have been a slack winter in
Washington. The government gives us our wood but I guess that the
man who decided how much it was goin to give us had an office in
the Sandwitch Islands. I says the other day that if theyd dip our
allowance in fusfrus wed at least have matches, eh Mable? Im the
same old Bill, Mable. Crackin jokes an keepin everybody laffin when
things is blackest.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="050.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/050.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"BUILT LIKE THE LEG OF A SAILURS TROWSERS"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>I was scoutin round for wood today an burned up those military
hair brushes your mother gave me when we came away. I told her
theyd come in mighty handy some day.</p>
<p>They say a fello tried to take a shouer the other day. Before he
could get out it froze round him. Like that fello in the bible who
turned into a pillo of salt. They had to break the whole thing
offen the pipe with him inside it an stand it in front of the
stove. When it melted he finished his shouer an said he felt fine.
Thats how hard were gettin, Mable.</p>
<p>I bought a book on Minor Tackticks the other day. Thats not
about underaged tacks that live on ticks as you might suppose,
Mable. Its the cience of movin bodies of men from one place to
another. I thought it might tell of some way of gettin the squad
out of bed in the morning but it doesnt. All the important stuff
like that is camooflaged sos the Germans wont get onto it.</p>
<p>Camooflage is not a new kind of cheese Mable. Its a military
term. Camooflage is French for cauliflower which is a disguised
cabbage. It is the same thing as puttin powder on your face instead
of washin it. You deceive Germans with it. For instance you paint a
horse black and white stripes an a German comes along. He thinks
its a picket fence an goes right by. Or you paint yourself like a
tree an the Germans come an drink beer round you an tell military
sekruts.</p>
<p>Well I guess its time to say Mery Xmas now Mable. I guess it
wont be a very Mery Xmas withut me there, eh? Cheer up cause Im
goin to think of you whenever I get time all day long. Im pretty
busy nowdays. I got to watch the men work. It keeps a fello on the
jump all the time. I like it though, Mable. Thats me all over. Isnt
it?</p>
<p>Dont send me nothin for Christmas, Mable. I bought somethin for
you but Im not going to tell you cause its a surprize. All that I
can say is that it cost me four eighty seven ($4.87) which is more
than I could afford. An its worth a lot more. But you know how I am
with money. A spend drift. So dont send me anything please although
I need an electric flash light, some cigarets, candy an one of them
sox that you wear on your head. Ill spend my last sent on anyone I
like but I dont want to be under no obligations. Independent. Thats
me all over.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="054.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/054.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"YOU PAINT A HORSE BLACK AND WHITE STRIPES"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>You might read this part to your mother. I dont want nothin from
her ether.</p>
<p>Rite soon an plain Mable, cause I dont get much chance to
study.</p>
<blockquote>yours till the south is warm,<br/>
<i>Bill.</i></blockquote>
<p>Your mothers present cost me three seventy seven ($3.77).</p>
<br/>
<br/>
<hr style="width: 35%;">
<br/>
<br/>
<h2><i>Joli Dame:</i></h2>
<br/>
<p>Dont get that confused with Tinkers Dam, Mable. Tinkers Dam is
tecknickle an aint even French. I wish you knew more about these
forin languiges. I always herd a fello could express himself better
in French than anything else. Thats because nobody can understand
him an he can say anything he wants.</p>
<p>The Christmas holidays is over. I spent mine doin Kitchen
police. The only thing what pealed for me Christmas morning was
potatoes an the only thing what rung out was dish cloths. But I
guess you aint familiar enough with the poets to get that, Mable.
It shows that I can be funny an bright though even under adversary
conditions. Kitchen police dont explain what I do very well. I dont
walk a beet or carry a club or arrest nobody or nothin. I
just--well I wish that hired girl of yours could come down an do
Kitchen police for a couple of days. She wouldnt be quitten as
regular as she does.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="058.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/058.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"I SPENT MINE DOIN KITCHEN POLICE"</b></p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="059.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/059.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"I WISH THAT HIRED GIRL COULD COME DOWN"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>We celebrated Christmas by sleepin till a quarter to seven
instead of hap past six. Only they forgot to tell the fello what
blows the horn an he blew it at hap past six anyway. Imagine if
anybody home had told me I could sleep till a quarter of seven
Christmas morning. I guess you know what Id a told him, eh,
Mable?</p>
<p>Theres a fello in town what says he'll send flowers anywhere you
want by telegraph. I was goin to send you some for Christmas
morning. Then I figgered it was a silly idea. In the first place
theyd get all smashed on the way. An then you cant get enough
flowers in one of them little envelopes to make one good smell.
Nothin if not right. Thats me all over, Mable.</p>
<p>I had dinner in town with Max Glocoses mother. Hes a fello in
our tent. Shes a nice enough old lady but she aint military, Mable.
We was walkin down the street before dinner an salutin officers so
fast it looked like we was scratchin our forheds. An every time we
saluted she bowed. I didnt say nothin cause after all she was payin
for the dinner. Later on though she says. "I think its fine you
boys has made so many friends among the officers cause I think
there such nice men." Can you beat it Mable? An when she went home
she sent Max an officers hat cord cause she said she didnt think it
would fade as quick as that old blue thing he was wearin.</p>
<p>I like to forgot to thank you for the Christmas presents you an
your mother sent. Im glad you minded what I said about not wantin
nothin although Id sent you two presents what was worth more than I
could afford ($4.87). As I said to Joe Loomis who was in the tent
when your presents came, it aint what the thing cost or wether you
could ever use it for anything. Its the thought. Sentiment before
pleasure. Thats me all over, Mable.</p>
<p>Thanks for the red sweter, Mable. We aint allowed to use them.
But you dont want to feel bad about that cause I got lots of others
an didnt need it anyway. An tell your mother thanks for the
preserves an cake. I think thats what they was. They must have
packed them between a steam roller and a donkey engin from the
looks. Joe Loomis picked out most of the glass an tried some. Hed
eat anything, that fello, Mable. He said it must have been pretty
good when it started. Tell that to your mother. I know it will
please her.</p>
<p>I got so many presents from other girls an the like that its
kind of hard to remember if you sent me anything else. If you did
just tell me in your next letter and Ill thank you when I rite
again.</p>
<p>I hope my presents arrived all right. I guess you'll like em.
You ought to at the price. As I says to the girl what sold em when
she says she didnt have nothin cheaper "Nothins to good for where
there goin." Isnt that tipical of me, Mable?</p>
<p>Well, Mable, perhaps next year Ill send you a Dutch helmit
maybe. It aint no use wishin you a happy New Year cause I know how
itll be with me away an your father what he is.</p>
<blockquote>Yours regardless,<br/>
<i>Bill.</i></blockquote>
<br/>
<br/>
<hr style="width: 35%;">
<br/>
<br/>
<h2><i>Mon Croquette:</i></h2>
<br/>
<p>Thats not the kind with the evenin dress tooth pick in the top,
Mable. A croquette is a French society woman. Study these letters
of mine an see how I use the words. You ought to be able to pick up
enough French to understand me talkin it when I come home.</p>
<p>Well, Mable, New Years are behind us again. Once more I made a
lot of revolushuns. Its no use sayin there wasnt nothin for me to
change. Youre prejudiced. I can see falts where others cant.
Underneath a plesant exterior I am made of sterner stuff, as the
poets say. I have gave up frivolity with the exception of goin into
town once in a while to take a bath. Im strong for this sanity
stuff under any conditions.</p>
<p>Im makin a study of war. Im goin to tell you a sekrut. Im workin
on a plan to end the war. I got thinkin, as I will, an it struck me
that no one had gone into this at all. There all figurin how to go
on with it but none of em how to quit it. Dont say nothin till I
get it worked out. I guess you always knew youd here from me when I
got goin, eh Mable?</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="064.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/064.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"A CROQUETTE IS A FRENCH SOCIETY WOMAN"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>I also resolved not to put off till tomorrow what I can do
today. (Old motto.) For instance if I can get out of a fatigue
today whats the use of waitin till tomorrow. The same with sleepin
and restin.</p>
<p>I cut out cigarets to. I was gettin to be a feend. Got so I had
to lite one whenever I got thinkin. I was usin up most a package a
day. Nervous an high strung. Thats me all over, Mable. I smoke
cigars an a pipe instead. A fello with an active mind has got to
have somethin. You remember what the fello what trained the high
school show said when he saw me act. Temperature. Thats me. Of
course its harder to borrow pipe tobacco and cigars but Im tryin to
show the fellos how bad cigarets is. Pretty soon Ill be all O.K.
again.</p>
<p>I got that watch your father sent me for a New Years present.
Tell him thanks very much an not to feel bad because he forgot to
send me a Christmas present cause this wipes out the debt entirely.
He said it was a military watch an the latest thing out. I guess
they call it a military watch cause it works two hours and stops
four. Its the latest thing round here. If I answered call by that
watch Id be fallin in for retreat round taps. Its so slow it cant
stop quick.</p>
<p>I got the blacksmith over at headquarters company workin on it
now. Hes an awful good man. He was a plumber in civilian life.
Thats why they made him a blacksmith when he joined the army. He
says hes goin to fix it sos Ill never be bothered with it
again.</p>
<p>I got asked to a dinner New Years night. I sat next to a
Colonels wife. It was kind of embarassing at first. I put her easy
though. I says whose that funny lookin old bird sittin across the
room with a head like an egg. Hes very chic isnt he? (Thats a
French joke Mable.) She says "Thats my husband." As soon as Id
stopped laffin I started right in an told her the history of every
man in the company beginnin with the As. You know me when I get
started. I didnt give her no chanst to get embarassed. When she
started to say somethin I just kept right on talkin just to show
her that bein a Colonels wife she wasnt expected to make no
effort.</p>
<p>I made good, Mable. I guess you kno I would. After dinner I
heard her ask somebody who invited me. Then she said somethin like
"Hed ought to be known better." Never miss a chance. Thats me all
over. It may mean promoshun or anything. It may be that shell have
me sent to Fort Silly to learn somethin. You cant tell.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="068.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/068.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"I SAT NEXT TO A COLONELS WIFE</b></p>
<br/>
<p>I cant think of anything more that you would understand. Dont
show these letters to kno one. There is to many spize around. I
suppose you are awful lonesome without me. I dont get much time to
be lonesome what with drillin an goin out somewhere. As soon as
things get shook down a bit I hope to get more time to miss you.
Hows your fathers liver?</p>
<blockquote>Au Riviere,<br/>
<i>Bill</i>.</blockquote>
<br/>
<br/>
<hr style="width: 35%;">
<br/>
<br/>
<h2><i>Mon Ami:</i></h2>
<br/>
<p>Sounds like a scourin pouder, doesnt it, Mable? As a matter of
fact its the way a French lady talks to a fello shes awful fond
of.</p>
<p>Im not an officer any more. I was just goin to resine anyways.
The Captins been watchin me rise an he didnt like it. He knew I
knew more than him as well as me. Always askin me questions. Id
always tell him cause I knew he had a wife and children in Jersey
City an so I was sorry for them. Soft. Thats me all over. But the
other day when I was on guard he says, "Corperal, whats the General
orders?" an I says, "Captin if you dont kno them now you never will
and I wouldnt be doin no service to my country if I told you." Cold
but civil, Mable. You kno how I can be.</p>
<p>The Captin just felt cheap an walked away. I kind of felt sorry
for him. Almost told him so once or twice. Then I went on guard
again. I go on guard a lot. The men like me to be corperal of the
guard because when the relief goes out I take all their blankets an
go right to sleep instead of standin outside an watchin them
freeze. Men hate to be watched while they are freezin.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="072.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/072.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"MEN HATE TO BE WATCHED WHILE THEY ARE FREEZIN"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>But I happened to be outside for some reason, goin to dinner I
guess, an I saw the Colonel coming. I says "Turn out the guard."
(No one really turns em out, Mable. They come out themselves.) The
Colonel sees who it is an waves an says "Never mind the guard,
Corperal." So I thanks him an goes back to the company an goes to
bed.</p>
<p>As soon as the Captin sees that the Colonel is savin me up for
over there he gets sore. His plan has been to kill me before we
left here. He said he was goin to reduce me. Thats not the same way
your father reduces when he cuts out beer with his meals an sits in
a Turkish all day. I never said you will or you wont. Just waited
till he got outside an thumbed my nose at him. High spirited. Thats
me all over.</p>
<p>An English officer came over the other day an told us all about
the war. He didnt quite finish it cause he only had three quarters
of an hour. They was quite a few things I didnt kno even at that.
He said that the heavy artillery was commanded by the C.C.O.D.A. an
the light artillery by the C.O.A. An theres a special N.C.O. who
has nothin to do but look after the S.A.A. Just imagine, Mable. I
wish Id studied chemistree more when I was in school. It would make
things a lot easier for me now. Then he said that a man always got
into his O.O. to observe the action of the 75s. These English are
always great for dress an that formal stuff.</p>
<p>Im glad there tellin us this before we go over. It would have
been awful embarassing to have tried to observe the action of the
75s in my B.V.Ds. I asked him if they had any trouble with the
B.P.O.Es. When he left he said "Cheero." Without winkin a hair I
says "Beevo." Same old Bill, eh Mable?</p>
<p>They said the other day that my name was on a list to go to
school an learn all about liason. I said there wasnt much use in
there doin that cause I was pretty well up on that stuff. At home,
I says, I had a reputashun for a devil with the wimen. Nobody knows
better than you, eh Mable? I guess thats a little over your head
though, Mable. I try to be as simple as I can. If Im not just tell
me.</p>
<p>Im ritin this letter with my shoes off. I hope youll excuse my
bein so informal but Im havin the old trouble with my feet. They
never been right since that winter I taught you to dance. I went to
the doctor with them an he said to keep offen them as much as I
could. So they put me to work scrubbin the mess shack on my hans
and nees. I bet if a fello had both legs shot off theyd prop you up
against the wall an put you peelin onions.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="076.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/076.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"I HAD A REPUTASHUN FOR A DEVIL WITH THE WIMEN"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>I got to quit now. They got a thing called retreat they have
every night. I always like to be there just to show the Captin Im
behind him regardless.</p>
<p>Im sendin you my pictur in a uniform pointin to an American
flag. Its kind of simbolical the man said, if you know what that
is. I thought youd like to put it on the mantle in a conspikuous
place sos to have somethin to be proud of when your girl friend
comes in to talk. Id ask you for your pictur only I havnt got much
room for that kind of thing down here.</p>
<blockquote>yours exclusively<br/>
<i>Bill.</i></blockquote>
<br/>
<br/>
<hr style="width: 35%;">
<br/>
<br/>
<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2>
<br/>
<p>Everyone round here is goin to school now so they can be
speshulists. Not the kind your mother goes to, Mable. A speshulist
only does one thing. I been doin everything round here ever since I
came. I was gettin sick of it. I went to the top sargent an says I
guessed Id be a speshulist to. He said all right hed make me a food
speshulist. Said Id have to go into it pretty deep. I been into it
up to my elbows in the kitchen ever since. Never trust sargents.
Least of all top sargents. If it keeps on like this there wont be
nobody to do the actual fightin but me, Mable. Its too much
responsibilety for one man. Suppose I was to get sick or
somethin.</p>
<p>An then a bunch of fellos went away to lern to be officers. That
kind of struck my fancy it bein about the only thing I hadnt done
round here. I went to the Captin an told him I thought Id go to. He
said I could go to, and then he added somethin.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="080.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/080.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"IT SEEMED TO DEPRES THEM AWFUL"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>He said a company was built up somethin like a man. There was
the brain, which was the officers, an then some was the muscle an
some was the bone. He said I seemed to be pretty well fitted for my
part by nature so he wouldnt change me. Ive always been strong ever
since I was a kid, Mable.</p>
<p>Ive rote a pome. I sent it to the Divisun paper. They wouldnt
print it cause they said it was so real that it might depres the
men. I guess they was right cause I read it to the fellos in the
tent an it seemed to depres them awful. Im ritin it to you. Its
about the war. Youll probably notice that yourself if you read it
careful. Here it is.</p>
<blockquote>I<br/>
<br/>
Here the thunder of the guns<br/>
Smashin down the German Huns<br/>
An the sticky pools of gory blood<br/>
Soakin up the oozie sod<br/>
The rushin, roarin, shreekin boom<br/>
Of bullets crashin thru the gloom<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
II<br/>
<br/>
Listen to those grate bums bust<br/>
On the quiverin Hunnish crust<br/>
Listen to the shreekin, moanin<br/>
Swearin, yellin, gruntin, groanin<br/>
That comes to us across the trenches<br/>
All mixed up with grusome stenches<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
III<br/>
<br/>
Biff, an from there hellish lare<br/>
The shreeks of Germans rent the air.<br/>
Bloody lims lie on the ground.<br/>
Bits of Huns go flyin round.<br/>
Bang! And through the cannons roar<br/>
Is plainly herd the splashin gore.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
IV<br/>
<br/>
But this cannot go on for long,<br/>
Cause Uncle Sam is comin strong.<br/>
An when we charge the German line<br/>
We'll chuck the dam thing in the Rine.<br/>
An blood an slauter, rape an gore<br/>
In Bel Le France will rain no more.</blockquote>
<br/>
<p>Aint that terrible, Mable? I read it to one fello an he said it
made him absolutely sick. He said he didn't see how I could rite it
without gettin sick myself. Just between me an you Mable I did come
pretty near being once or twice when I was ritin it.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="084.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/084.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"IF I CATCH ONE OF THOSE AILIN ENEMIES WINDIN UP YOUR
VICTROLA"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>Most of all thats confidential but I dont care if you read it to
some of your friends just to give em a good idea of what war is.
Some of the things aint very nice of course. If your ritin big
stuff though you got to put in everything that comes into your
head, or else you lose the punch. I think the ends the best. A lot
of fellos has said that. We ought to have more of that. It gets the
slackers.</p>
<p>The Rine is a German river where they make wine near Berlin,
Mable.</p>
<p>You keep menshuning a fello named Broggins in your letters. Now
I aint got a spark of jelusy in my nature. Big. Thats me all over,
Mable. But I warn you frankly. If I ever catch one of those ailin
enemies windin up your victrola Ill kick him out of the house.
Thats only fair. It isn't that I care a snap. Theres plenty of
girls waitin for me. Its just the principul of the thing.</p>
<p>Dont think for a minit that I care. I just menshun it cause I
couldnt think of nothin else to say.</p>
<blockquote>Yours till you here otherwise,<br/>
<i>Bill.</i></blockquote>
<br/>
<br/>
<hr style="width: 35%;">
<br/>
<br/>
<h2><i>Pom de mon oie:</i></h2>
<br/>
<p>You say that like oie yoy in Yiddish. It means apple of my eye.
I never saw an apple in nobodys eye, Mable, but I guess thats some
French custom.</p>
<p>Great news, Mable. A fello whats got a friend in the audience
department in Washington just told me the wars goin to end about
the 15th of Feb. Dont say nothin to nobody about it. It might look
as if I was gettin mixed up in politiks. I put in for a furlo on
the 5th tho. Then I wont have to come back, eh Mable? Ill bet your
glad. Its great to think of gettin into a place where you cant see
through the walls and there aint three inches of mud on the floor.
An think of not havin to tie the doors together when you come in or
crawl underneath em on your hans and nees and not havin to put
everything you own in the world under the bed. But I guess you dont
care as much about these things as I will.</p>
<p>This would be a good trainin camp for artik explorers. I bet the
fello that picks out the camps ether owns a cold storage plant in
civil life or else they do it by mail order. It got so cold the
other night the silver in the thermometer disappeared. It aint been
seen since.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="088.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/088.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"STUCK MY HEAD OUT OF THE BLANKETS"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>We got a comical guy in the tent. Bill Huggins. Me an hims a
pair. Keep everybody laffin all the time. Bill likes things hot
about as well as me. Every nite he fills the Sibly stove so full of
wood that he has to hammer the last piece in. It gets so hot that
it jumps up and down like a mad monkey. Thats the way Siblys do
when they get awful hot. Were not bothered by that much though.</p>
<p>We got another guy thats a fresh air feend. His name is Angus
MacKenzie. Hes Scotch. Hes so close himself that he has to have
lots of air or hed smother. Every nite he pulls up the side of the
tent by his bed. No one likes fresh air in its place better than
me, Mable, but when its as fresh as this air is its place is
outside.</p>
<p>I wake up in the nite rolled into a ball like a porkypine. Theys
things in the middle of my back like his stickers. If I dont move I
get cramps. If I do, I freeze. All around the place where Im lyin
is as warm as a park bench in winter. Sometimes I forget and push
my feet down. That's awful.</p>
<p>One night I thought I heard the horn and stuck my head out of
the blankets. It was Angus with his head and one arm outside
snorin. Can you beat that. I bet he swims in the ice all winter
home and has his pictur in the Sunday paper. I froze my ear before
I could get my head back. Thats the kind of a fello he is.</p>
<p>Its awful cold in the mornin. They blow three calls. The first
is just for the slow guys. I can make it nice from the march if I
dont take too many close off. Thats no temtashun. One guy jumps up
just before assembly and makes a lot of fuss like hes gettin
dressed. He dont fool nobody. The only thing he takes off at nite
is his hat. Some says that falls off when he gets into bed.</p>
<p>Angus gets up every mornin in his BVDs. I think his skin is
furlined. You can hear him smashin the ice in the pale with a hair
brush outside. Then you can tell hes washin by the noise he makes
like a busted steam pipe. Then he comes smashin into the tent
leavin the door open and wipes the ice off en his face with
somebody elses towel an says gosh thats great. I hate that kind of
a fello.</p>
<p>Bill Huggins cleaned the stove with his towel last week sos
everything would be neet for inspecshun. Angus got hold of it in
the dark next mornin. Gee, youd haft laft, Mable.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="092.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/092.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"WHEN I LOOKED IN THE TIN MIRROR I THOUGHT I WAS
STARVIN"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>I got the little tin mirror you sent, Mable. Its unbreakable all
right. Bill Huggins got so mad at it he tried to break it and
couldnt. The first time I looked in it I got an awful start. I
thought I was starvin. I looked like one of them picturs of hungry
Indiens that the mishunaries show you just before they pass the
plate. Bill Huggins swiped it later and says why didnt somebody
tell him he was gettin so fat cause he couldnt go home on a furlo
like that. He didnt eat nothin for three meals and then he looked
at hisseif with the mirror turned the other way. Its like one of
those Coney Island places where a fello can go in and laff at
hisself for a dime. Next time send me one that will break.</p>
<p>I got to quit now and buy a couple of pies before I go to bed. I
dont sleep good less I have a little somethin on my stummick. Dont
say nothin about what I told you in the beginnin.</p>
<p>Until the 15th Feb. then.</p>
<blockquote>Yours faithfully,<br/>
<i>Bill.</i></blockquote>
<br/>
<br/>
<hr style="width: 35%;">
<br/>
<br/>
<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2>
<br/>
<p>The Captin aint goin to give me my furlo. Says theres an order
out against it. Someones got it in for me, Mable. I bought a wooley
coat awful cheap from Bill Huggins. Right away theres an order
against em. Angus MacKenzie sold me a pair of leather leggins for
less than he paid for them. Some bargain from Angus. The next day
they issue an order that you cant wear em. Now they hear I want to
go home an put an order out against it. If theyd only come right
out an say Bill Smith were goin to get you. Sneaky. Thats what I
call it, Mable.</p>
<p>Ive half a mind to transfer back to the artillery. If I transfer
much more theyll be chargin me extra fare, eh Mable? Only for me an
the Captin not bein able to agree Id never have left. I understand
hes been awful sorry since. All you have to do in artillery is to
put a bullet in the gun. It does the rest. In the infantry you got
to go up and do all the dirty work yourself.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="096.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/096.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"THEY COME ROUND AND WATCH YOU EAT IT."</b></p>
<br/>
<p>Besides Im gettin leery of these infantry fellos. There always
talking about what were goin to do to the Germans, blowin em to
pieces and slicin em up an throwin em all around the lot. I got
thinkin what if the Germans was learnin there men to do the same
thing. They never seem to figger on these things.</p>
<p>An these baynuts, Mable. They aint safe. When you get a lot of
fellos in a trench with there baynuts stickin every which way some
ones goin to get hurt sure.</p>
<p>I got those cigars your father sent me. Thank him an tell him if
he ever gets takin like that again not to send such a large box
but-well you explain it to him Mable. You can do that sort of thing
much better than I can. Outspoken. Thats me all over, Mable.</p>
<p>Why is it that no matter how fussy a fello was when he wore a
vest as soon as he begins to call a coat a blouze no one thinks he
knows whats what. If you got any old magazenes what was old before
the war started send em to the soldiers. They wont know the
difference. Some wimen sent our regiment the Baptist Review for
three years back. That aint right, Mable. They give you candy that
comes by the bale. Then they come round an watch you eat it. I bet
if you walked into there place an watched them eat theyd raise an
awful holler. They make speeches to you that youd get your money
back without askin up north. They give you free movies thats so old
they look as if they was taken in the rain.</p>
<p>It seems like feedin the hippo at the zoo, Mable. It dont matter
so much as long as theres lots of it.</p>
<p>Im goin into town tonite with a bunch to eat a swell dinner on a
china plate. All but Angus MacKenzie. He eats all his dinners on
me. Im awful sick of eatin out of a tin fryin pan. When you put
food in it it folds up like a jacknife goin the wrong way. It takes
months to make a good mess kit eater.</p>
<p>We get our mess from some fellos what stands behind a counter.
One of them divides the coffee. He does it by puttin half in your
cup an half on your thumb. The other fellos has big spoons. I guess
they are old Lacross players. A big wad of food hits your plate
splash an knocks it squee gee. The other fello hits the other plate
an knocks it the other way. When you get it all its runnin out of
one dish up your sleeve an out of the other back into the food
pans.</p>
<p>Army food always runs. Cooks love loose grub. There awful
stupid. If theres anything solid you get it in the pan with the rim
on it. Then they pour the soup on your cover.</p>
<p>When you sit down half what you got left spills out on the
table. It isnt so bad now cause everything freezes about as soon as
it hits.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="100.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/100.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"ARMY FOOD ALWAYS RUNS"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>You ought to see us eat breakfast, Mable. We got so many
overcoats and things on that a fello dont get no elbow action. Some
fellos eats with there wool gloves. That aint a good scheme though.
It makes things taste like eatin peaches with there skins on.</p>
<p>The fello that invented our eatin tables must have been a supply
Sargent once. All the seats is nailed to the table. When you get a
spoonful of loose food up some fello puts his foot in your lap and
leaves a couple of pounds of mud there. I just brush it off tho on
the next fello. Never complain. Thats me all over.</p>
<p>Well Mable I got to shine my shoes now and go and eat offen
china plates with a nigger waiter. I dont eat with a nigger waiter,
Mable. Its awful hard to explain things to you sometimes. So now I
will close.</p>
<blockquote>Hoping you are the same<br/>
<i>Bill</i></blockquote>
<br/>
<br/>
<hr style="width: 35%;">
<br/>
<br/>
<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2>
<br/>
<p>I been thinkin of you a lot durin the last weak, Mable, havin
nothin else to do. I been in the hospital with the Bronxitis. I
guess I caught it from Joe Loomis. He comes from there. Id have
rote you in bed but I dropped my fountin pen on the floor an bent
it. Im all right now.</p>
<p>I got some news for you, Mable. The cook says we only drew ten
days supply of food last time. He says he guesses when we et that
up well go to France. Hes an awful smart fello the cook. Hes got a
bet on that if the allys dont buck up an win the Germans is comin
out ahead. Max Glucos, a fello in the tent, is refere. Were all
eatin as fast as we can. Perhaps we can eat it all in less than ten
days. So maybe well be gone, Mable, before I rite you from here
again.</p>
<p>Theres a French sargent comes round once in a while an says the
war is goin to be over quick. He ought to know cause hes been over
there an seen the whole thing. He smokes cigarets something awful
an dont say much. Thats because the poor cus cant talk much
English. It must be awful not to talk English. Think of not bein
able to say nothin all your life without wavin your arms round an
then lookin it up in a dickshunary.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="104.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/104.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"HE SMOKES CIGARETS SOMETHING AWFUL"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>I feel so sorry for these fellos that Im studiin French a lot
harder sos theyll have someone to talk to when we get over there.
Im readin a book now thats rote all in French. No English in it
anywhere, Mable. A fello told me that was the only way to talk it
good. I dont understand it very well so far. The only way I kno its
French is by the picturs. Some day Im goin to find out what the
name is. Then Im goin to get the English of it. Those are some
picturs. Aint I fierce, Mable? I guess thats why I get on with
wimen so well.</p>
<p>I gave up readin it out loud cause the fellos said it made em
think they was in Paris so much they got restles. I cant speak no
better yet. I guess that comes all at once at the end of the
book.</p>
<p>As soon as we got the hot shouers all fixed the pipes busted. So
the other day the Captin walked us all in town to take a bath. I
didnt need one much. I used my head more than most of em. Last fall
when it was warm I took as many as two a week an got away ahead of
the game. I went along though. More for the walk than anything.</p>
<p>I saw the Captin didnt make no move to take a bath hisself. I
thought he might be shy. He dont mix very well with the fellos. I
felt sorry for him. Everyone else was laffin an throwin things with
him standin off an noone throwin a thing at him. I went up an says
"Aint you goin to take a bath this winter to, Captin?" Just jolly,
Mable, that all. I says, "You dont want to mind the bunch. They
dont care a bit. There as dirty as you are anyway. Probably more."
An I bet they were Mable cause I aint seen the Captin do a stroke
of work since we come here. Just stands round givin orders.</p>
<p>I says, "If noone wont lend you a towel you can use mine. I was
just goin to have it washed anyway." He got awful red and
embarassed Mable. I thought he was goin to choke. Hes awful
queer.</p>
<p>Just like the other mornin he calls me over an says, "Smith, my
orderlies sick. You can shine my boots this mornin." He said it
like Id been beggin him to for a month. An then he says, "Smith you
can lite the fire in my stove." He had me thinkin he was doin me
favors. He said I might put some oil on his boots if I wished. I
says that would be a great treat an I wished he wouldnt be so kind
or the fellos would think he was playin favorites. I guess he didnt
here me Mable cause hed just gone out. I said it anyway. I didnt
care if he wasnt there. Spunky. Thats me all over.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="108.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/108.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"I POURED SOME OIL OUT OF HIS LAMP"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>I couldnt find no oil for his boots anywhere, Mable, so I poured
some out of his lamp. An then I dont think that suited him. Queer
fello the Captin.</p>
<p>I keep herein more about this fello Broggins. I suppose he
belongs to the Home Guards an wares his uniform round in the
evenin. An I suppose he has an American flag on his ritin paper. It
dont mean nothin in my life. I aint goin to put up no arguments or
get nasty like most fellos would. Dignity. Thats me all over,
Mable. Let me tell you though if I ever come home and find him
shinin his elbos on the top of your baby grand Ill kick him down
the front steps if I only have one leg to do it with.</p>
<p>Im ritin this in the Y.M.C.A. in the afternoon cause Im goin on
guard tonite. I dont see why they dont make it a permenant detail
and be done with it. Someone said the top sargents a man of one
idea. I guess Im the idea. I didnt go out to drill this afternoon.
I didnt say nothin to the Sargent though cause sargents have an
idea that if they dont get a lot of fellos to go out to drill with
them they dont look popular. I got to go new sos to get in my tent
before they come from drill.</p>
<blockquote>As ever<br/>
on guard,<br/>
<i>Bill.</i></blockquote>
<br/>
<br/>
<hr style="width: 35%;">
<br/>
<br/>
<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2>
<br/>
<p>I would have rote sooner but I had such a cold I couldnt say
nothin for most a weak.</p>
<p>Well Mable, we et all the food like the cook said but we aint in
France yet. I guess he aint got as many brains as he said he had.
Everyone is sore at him cause we didnt kick at none of his food for
more than a weak thinkin that when wed et it all wed go away. He
thinks its funny an says "Do youse guys think this war is a Cooks
tour?" I hate fellos what tries to get out of things by bein
smart.</p>
<p>Everythings covered with mud includin me. I seem to attract mud
like I was a maggot, Mable. Yesterday I spent all the afternoon
shinin up for guard sos to be the Colonels orderly. Then I step out
of the tent and flui. The Sargent says, "Smith dont you know enuff
not to go on guard lookin like that?"</p>
<p>I even got mud in my hair. Max Glucos says when he combs his its
like rakin out a garden. From what I seen of him though I dont see
how he found out.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="112.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/112.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"I EVEN GOT MUD IN MY HAIR"</b></p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="113.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/113.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"THE WATER COMES THROUGH ON ME"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>Its pourin rain an awful cold. Its so cold that the tooth past
rolls right offen your brush in the morning. The Captin has a cold
in his nose. He says he wont take the men out in such bad wether as
today. Taint nothin gainst him Mable but I hope he has a cold all
winter.</p>
<p>Theres a hole in the tent over my cot where the water comes
through on me. I put a slicker over me last nite. The water made
puddles in it. Then when I turned over they spilt out into my
shoes. This had me guessin Mable till finally I put Max Glucoses
shoes there instead of mine. Angus MacKenzie had so many holes over
his cot that it looked like one of those safety fire sprinklers. He
got up last nite and rigged his shelter half sos the water hit it
an run down onto the next cot. Hes a brite fello, Angus, even if he
is a forener.</p>
<p>The other day he had some medecine for a cold. It says on the
bottle that it was 17 per cent alcohol. He drank the whole thing
right down sos nobody couldnt get hold of it. It made him awful
sick but he says thats because he isnt used to it for such a long
time. Me an hims goin down next week to put in a stock of tonics.
Its awful hard to rite letters, Mable. Somebodys always fallin over
your feet or draggin something wet over the paper if youve got a
cot near the door like mine is. An when you get goin finally at
about the fourth try some sargent always comes in with a list and
makes you check up something.</p>
<p>Sometimes I go over to the Y.M.C.A., Mable. But as soon as you
get ritin a bald headed fello jumps up an says "Now fellos well all
sing." All the fellos whats ritin looks up an says "Aw one thing
and another." I dont know who the bald headed fello is. They got
one in every Y.M.C.A. They all look about alike. I guess there a
regular issue. Theys always a bunch of fellos what dont seem to kno
why they came. They all start singin. Then I cant rite no more or
do nothin. So I come home an go to bed. Independent. Thats me all
over, Mable.</p>
<p>Most of the taxis is swalowed up in the mud. Theys only two or
three runnin now. Only the big strong fellos can get to town. The
cook says its the old theory of the arrival of the fittest. But I
guess you dont know nothin about cience, Mable. When I go to town I
wrap my blouze in a newspaper. If they know your goin they give you
a list of things to get that looks like a Chinese Message to
Congress. By the time you go to come home you got so many bundles
you look like one of those fellos in the Funny Papers. Everyone
stands in the square lookin like a hat rack waitin for the three
taxis to come along. When they see one they rush it like they do in
the movies when the milunares cars runs over the poor fellos kid.
If goin over the top is any worse than gettin under the top of one
of them things with fifty bundles an as many fellos then Sherman
didnt know many swear words, eh Mable? But thats history. I guess
you wouldnt understand.</p>
<p>An then when you get home without a bath or a hair cut or the
movies or nothin, an you forgot to get that shavin soap for
yourself an spent all your money they say "Thanks Bill. Put it over
there. Can you change a ten dollar bill?" There ought to be a law
against makin money in such big numbers.</p>
<p>Im glad you taken up singin lessons again. You ought to take a
lot of em. I got a favor to ask. I dont do that offen. Proud. Thats
me all over. But if that fello Broggins keeps buttin round sing for
him Mable. It aint askin much with me down here defendin you.
Although I dont see why I had to come down here to do it.</p>
<blockquote>Yours internally,<br/>
<i>Bill.</i></blockquote>
<br/>
<br/>
<hr style="width: 35%;">
<br/>
<br/>
<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2>
<br/>
<p>This is the last time I will ever take my pen in hand for you.
All is over among us.</p>
<p>I felt it comin for some time Mable. Today among some letters
that I got from girls was one from a girl what knos you well. She
told me all about this fello Broggins. She says you take him around
with you everywhere. Thats the kind of a fello I thought he was,
Mable, but Im surprized at you. She says your awful fond of him hes
so cute. I aint cute an aint never pretended to be. A mans man.
Thats me all over, Mable. She says she went up to your house the
other night an he was sittin in your lap stickin his tongue out at
my pictur on the mantlepiece. After that, Mable, theres nothin to
say. So I repeat, its all over among us.</p>
<p>Im returnin today by parcels post the red sweter an the gloves
that has no fingers an the sox that you wear over your head an your
pictur. Most of the stuff aint been used much. The pictur has some
mud on it cause I had to keep it in the bottom of my barrak bag an
my shoes came next. The sox I cant send back cause I sold em to Joe
Glucos an you wouldnt want em now.</p>
<br/>
<SPAN name="118.png"></SPAN>
<p class="ctr"><ANTIMG src="images/118.png" width-obs="40%" alt=""><br/>
<b>"THE LAST TIME I WILL TAKE MY PEN IN HAND FOR YOU"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>The stuff that you sent me to eat I havnt kept. I guess you
wouldnt want that anyway Mable. The stuff that your mother sent me
Im going to keep. She wasnt my girl an she didnt have to send all
that stuff if she didnt want to.</p>
<p>As for all the things I have give you, Mable, keep em. I dont
want em no more. I aint even goin to menshun all the money Ive
spent on you for movies an sodas an the Lord knows what not. I aint
the kind of a fello to throw that up to a fello or even menshun it
in no ways. I kept track of it though in a little book. It comes to
$28.27 and some odd sense.</p>
<p>An I aint agoin to hold it up against you that I been savin in
the bank for most two years sos to have a little somethin towards
that house with the green blinds. An that I got somethin like
$87.22 in the bank if you can believe what that eagle beak in the
cage rites in your book. All wasted you might say, when you think
of the fun I might have had with it in the last two years. Those
things we'll just forget. You seem to have already.</p>
<p>An that seasons pass I got for you for the Happyhour sos you
could keep in touch with things while I was away. Keep that and
take Broggins. Otherwise I got a hunch you aint goin to the movies
as much as you used to.</p>
<p>I guess this will hit your father an mother pretty hard. They
got nobody to blame but yourself. On the other hand its goin to
please some girls that I know. So its a poor wind that dont blow
nobody round as the poets say. I guess you wont here much about the
poets any more, Mable. About all youll here is Broggins. I hate a
man what talks about himself.</p>
<p>I suppose he has joined the Home defence. Are you goin to have a
military weddin, Mable?</p>
<p>Im kind of sorry for your father. If you have his liver on your
hands dont blame me. You know the doctor said any kind of a shock
would set him off a mile.</p>
<p>An now, Mable, Im closin for the last time. It wont be no use
runin to the door when you here the postman no more cause he wont
have nothin but the gas bill. From now on the only way youll here
from me is in the papers perhaps when we get over there.</p>
<p>Now Im going to ask you a favor, Mable, for old times sake. Take
the pictur I had taken pointin to the American flag an burn it up.
You cant have that to show your friends no more an I aint goin to
have no flat foot makin faces at it. I may be selfish, Mable, but a
girl cant make a cake an eat it too as the old sayin is.</p>
<br/>
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<b>"IT WONT BE NO USE RUNIN TO THE DOOR"</b></p>
<br/>
<p>Give my best to your father an mother. Tell em I simpathize with
them in there loss. Its no use ritin any more cause Im firm as the
rock of Gibber Alter. Concrete. Thats me all over, Mable.</p>
<blockquote>as ever<br/>
yours no longer<br/>
Bill</blockquote>
<br/>
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