<p>"He must be brighter than he
looks," I said. "He never stopped
to ask where Greenback's store is."</p>
<p>The Chief nodded and the phone
rang again. His hand was still resting
on it so he picked it up by
reflex. He listened for a second and
you would have thought someone
was pumping blood out of his heel
from the way his face turned white.</p>
<p>"The holdup's still on," he finally
gasped. "Greenback's delivery
boy is on the line—calling back to
see where we are. Says he's under
a table in the back room ..."</p>
<p>I never heard the rest of it because
I was out the door and into
the car. There were a hundred
things that could happen if Ned
got there before me. Guns could go
off, people hurt, lots of things. And
the police would be to blame for
it all—sending a tin robot to do a
cop's job. Maybe the Chief had ordered
Ned there, but clearly as if
the words were painted on the
windshield of the car, I knew I
would be dragged into it. It never
gets very warm on Mars, but I was
sweating.</p>
<p>Nineport has fourteen traffic regulations
and I broke all of them
before I had gone a block. Fast as
I was, Ned was faster. As I turned
the corner I saw him open the
door of Greenback's store and walk
in. I screamed brakes in behind
him and arrived just in time to have
a gallery seat. A shooting gallery
at that.</p>
<p>There were two holdup punks,
one behind the counter making like
a clerk and the other lounging off
to the side. Their guns were out of
sight, but blue-coated Ned busting
through the door like that was too
much for their keyed up nerves.
Up came both guns like they were
on strings and Ned stopped dead.
I grabbed for my own gun and
waited for pieces of busted robot to
come flying through the window.</p>
<p>Ned's reflexes were great. Which
I suppose is what you should expect
of a robot.</p>
<p>"DROP YOUR GUNS, YOU
ARE UNDER ARREST."</p>
<p>He must have had on full power
or something, his voice blasted so
loud my ears hurt. The result was
just what you might expect. Both
torpedoes let go at once and the air
was filled with flying slugs. The
show windows went out with a
crash and I went down on my
stomach. From the amount of noise
I knew they both had recoilless
.50's. You can't stop one of those
slugs. They go right through you
and anything else that happens to
be in the way.</p>
<p>Except they didn't seem to be
bothering Ned. The only notice he
seemed to take was to cover his
eyes. A little shield with a thin
slit popped down over his eye
lenses. Then he moved in on the
first thug.</p>
<p>I knew he was fast, but not that
fast. A couple of slugs jarred him
as he came across the room, but
before the punk could change his
aim Ned had the gun in his hand.
That was the end of that. He put
on one of the sweetest hammer
locks I have ever seen and neatly
grabbed the gun when it dropped
from the limp fingers. With the
same motion that slipped the gun
into a pouch he whipped out a pair
of handcuffs and snapped them on
the punk's wrists.</p>
<p>Holdupnik number two was
heading for the door by then, and I
was waiting to give him a warm
reception. There was never any
need. He hadn't gone halfway before
Ned slid in front of him.
There was a thud when they hit
that didn't even shake Ned, but
gave the other a glazed look. He
never even knew it when Ned slipped
the cuffs on him and dropped
him down next to his partner.</p>
<p>I went in, took their guns from
Ned, and made the arrest official.
That was all Greenback saw when
he crawled out from behind the
counter and it was all I wanted
him to see. The place was a foot
deep in broken glass and smelled
like the inside of a Jack Daniels
bottle. Greenback began to howl
like a wolf over his lost stock. He
didn't seem to know any more
about the phone call than I did, so
I grabbed ahold of a pimply looking
kid who staggered out of the
storeroom. He was the one who
had made the calls.</p>
<p>It turned out to be a matter of
sheer stupidity. He had worked for
Greenback only a few days and
didn't have enough brains to realize
that all holdups should be reported
to the protection boys instead
of the police. I told Greenback
to wise up his boy, as look
at the trouble that got caused. Then
pushed the two ex-holdup men out
to the car. Ned climbed in back
with them and they clung together
like two waifs in a storm. The
robot's only response was to pull a
first aid kit from his hip and fix
up a ricochet hole in one of the
thugs that no one had noticed in the
excitement.</p>
<hr />
<p>The Chief was still sitting there
with that bloodless look when we
marched in. I didn't believe it could
be done, but he went two shades
whiter.</p>
<p>"You made the pinch," he whispered.
Before I could straighten
him out a second and more awful
idea hit him. He grabbed a handful
of shirt on the first torpedo and
poked his face down. "You with
China Joe," he snarled.</p>
<p>The punk made the error of trying
to be cute so the Chief let him
have one on the head with the open
hand that set his eyes rolling like
marbles. When the question got
asked again he found the right
answer.</p>
<p>"I never heard from no China
Joe. We just hit town today and—"</p>
<p>"Freelance, by God," the Chief
sighed and collapsed into his chair.
"Lock 'em up and quickly tell me
what in hell happened."</p>
<p>I slammed the gate on them and
pointed a none too steady finger at
Ned.</p>
<p>"There's the hero," I said. "Took
them on single-handed, rassled
them for a fall and made the capture.
He is a one-robot tornado, a
power for good in this otherwise
evil community. And he's bulletproof
too." I ran a finger over
Ned's broad chest. The paint was
chipped by the slugs, but the metal
was hardly scratched.</p>
<p>"This is going to cause me trouble,
big trouble," the Chief wailed.</p>
<p>I knew he meant with the protection
boys. They did not like
punks getting arrested and guns
going off without their okay. But
Ned thought the Chief had other
worries and rushed in to put them
right. "There will be no trouble.
At no time did I violate any of the
Robotic Restriction Laws, they are
part of my control circuits and
therefore fully automatic. The men
who drew their guns violated both
robotic and human law when they
threatened violence. I did not injure
the men—merely restrained
them."</p>
<p>It was all over the Chief's head,
but I liked to think <i>I</i> could follow
it. And I <i>had</i> been wondering how
a robot—a machine—could be involved
in something like law application
and violence. Ned had the
answer to that one too.</p>
<p>"Robots have been assuming
these functions for years. Don't
recording radar meters pass judgment
on human violation of automobile
regulations? A robot alcohol
detector is better qualified to assess
the sobriety of a prisoner than the
arresting officer. At one time robots
were even allowed to make their
own decisions about killing. Before
the Robotic Restriction Laws automatic
gun-pointers were in general
use. Their final development was
a self-contained battery of large
anti-aircraft guns. Automatic scan
radar detected all aircraft in the
vicinity. Those that could not return
the correct identifying signal
had their courses tracked and computed,
automatic fuse-cutters and
loaders readied the computer-aimed
guns—which were fired by the
robot mechanism."</p>
<p>There was little I could argue
about with Ned. Except maybe his
college-professor vocabulary. So I
switched the attack.</p>
<p>"But a robot can't take the place
of a cop, it's a complex human
job."</p>
<p>"Of course it is, but taking a
human policeman's place is not the
function of a police robot. Primarily
I combine the functions of numerous
pieces of police equipment,
integrating their operations and
making them instantly available. In
addition I can aid in the <i>mechanical</i>
processes of law enforcement. If
you arrest a man you handcuff him.
But if you order me to do it, I
have made no moral decision. I am
just a machine for attaching handcuffs
at that point ..."</p>
<p>My raised hand cut off the flow
of robotic argument. Ned was hipped
to his ears with facts and figures
and I had a good idea who
would come off second best in any
continued discussion. No laws had
been broken when Ned made the
pinch, that was for sure. But there
are other laws than those that appear
on the books.</p>
<p>"China Joe is not going to like
this, not at all," the Chief said,
speaking my own thoughts.</p>
<p>The law of Tooth and Claw.
That's one that wasn't in the law
books. And that was what ran
Nineport. The place was just big
enough to have a good population
of gambling joints, bawdy houses
and drunk-rollers. They were all
run by China Joe. As was the police
department. We were all in his
pocket and you might say he was
the one who paid our wages. This
is not the kind of thing, though,
that you explain to a robot.</p>
<p>"Yeah, China Joe."</p>
<p>I thought it was an echo at first,
then realized that someone had
eased in the door behind me. Something
called Alex. Six feet of bone,
muscle and trouble. China Joe's
right hand man. He imitated a
smile at the Chief who sank a bit
lower in his chair.</p>
<p>"China Joe wants you should tell
him why you got smart cops going
around and putting the arm on
people and letting them shoot up
good liquor. He's mostly angry
about the hooch. He says that he
had enough guff and after this you
should—"</p>
<p>"I am putting you under Robot
Arrest, pursuant to article 46,
paragraph 19 of the revised
statutes ..."</p>
<p>Ned had done it before we realized
he had even moved. Right
in front of our eyes he was arresting
Alex and signing our death
warrants.</p>
<p>Alex was not slow. As he turned
to see who had grabbed him, he
had already dragged out this cannon.
He got one shot in, square
against Ned's chest, before the
robot plucked the gun away and
slipped on the cuffs. While we all
gaped like dead fish, Ned recited
the charge in what I swear was a
satisfied tone.</p>
<p>"The prisoner is Peter Rakjomskj,
alias Alex the Axe, wanted in
Canal City for armed robbery and
attempted murder. Also wanted by
local police of Detroit, New York
and Manchester on charges of ..."</p>
<p>"<i>Get it off me!</i>" Alex howled.
We might have too, and everything
might have still been straightened
out if Benny Bug hadn't heard the
shot. He popped his head in the
front door just long enough to roll
his eyes over our little scene.</p>
<p>"Alex ... they're puttin' the arm
on Alex!"</p>
<p>Then he was gone and when I
hit the door he was nowhere in
sight. China Joe's boys always went
around in pairs. And in ten minutes
he would know all about it.</p>
<p>"Book him," I told Ned. "It
wouldn't make any difference if we
let him go now. The world has
already come to an end."</p>
<p>Fats came in then, mumbling to
himself. He jerked a thumb over
his shoulder when he saw me.</p>
<p>"What's up? I see little Benny
Bug come out of here like the place
was on fire and almost get killed
driving away?"</p>
<p>Then Fats saw Alex with the
bracelets on and turned sober in
one second. He just took a moment
to gape, then his mind was made
up. Without a trace of a stagger he
walked over to the Chief and threw
his badge on the desk in front of
him.</p>
<p>"I am an old man and I drink
too much to be a cop. Therefore I
am resigning from the force. Because
if that is whom I think it is
over there with the cuffs on, I will
not live to be a day older as long
as I am around here."</p>
<p>"Rat." The Chief growled in
pain through his clenched teeth.
"Deserting the sinking ship. Rat."</p>
<p>"Squeak," Fats said and left.</p>
<p>The Chief was beyond caring at
this point. He didn't blink an eye
when I took Fats' badge off the
desk. I don't know why I did it,
perhaps I thought it was only fair.
Ned had started all the trouble and
I was just angry enough to want
him on the spot when it was finished.
There were two rings on his
chest plate, and I was not surprised
when the badge pin fitted them
neatly.</p>
<p>"There, now you are a real cop."
Sarcasm dripped from the words.
I should have realized that robots
are immune to sarcasm. Ned took
my statement at face value.</p>
<p>"This is a very great honor, not
only for me but for all robots. I
will do my best to fulfill all the
obligations of the office." Jack
Armstrong in tin underwear. I
could hear the little motors in his
guts humming with joy as he
booked Alex.</p>
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