<h2><SPAN name="link2HCH0033" id="link2HCH0033"></SPAN> CHAPTER II </h2>
<p>“Ah these cigarettes!” Porfiry Petrovitch ejaculated at last, having
lighted one. “They are pernicious, positively pernicious, and yet I can’t
give them up! I cough, I begin to have tickling in my throat and a
difficulty in breathing. You know I am a coward, I went lately to Dr. B——n;
he always gives at least half an hour to each patient. He positively
laughed looking at me; he sounded me: ‘Tobacco’s bad for you,’ he said,
‘your lungs are affected.’ But how am I to give it up? What is there to
take its place? I don’t drink, that’s the mischief, he-he-he, that I
don’t. Everything is relative, Rodion Romanovitch, everything is
relative!”</p>
<p>“Why, he’s playing his professional tricks again,” Raskolnikov thought
with disgust. All the circumstances of their last interview suddenly came
back to him, and he felt a rush of the feeling that had come upon him
then.</p>
<p>“I came to see you the day before yesterday, in the evening; you didn’t
know?” Porfiry Petrovitch went on, looking round the room. “I came into
this very room. I was passing by, just as I did to-day, and I thought I’d
return your call. I walked in as your door was wide open, I looked round,
waited and went out without leaving my name with your servant. Don’t you
lock your door?”</p>
<p>Raskolnikov’s face grew more and more gloomy. Porfiry seemed to guess his
state of mind.</p>
<p>“I’ve come to have it out with you, Rodion Romanovitch, my dear fellow! I
owe you an explanation and must give it to you,” he continued with a
slight smile, just patting Raskolnikov’s knee.</p>
<p>But almost at the same instant a serious and careworn look came into his
face; to his surprise Raskolnikov saw a touch of sadness in it. He had
never seen and never suspected such an expression in his face.</p>
<p>“A strange scene passed between us last time we met, Rodion Romanovitch.
Our first interview, too, was a strange one; but then... and one thing
after another! This is the point: I have perhaps acted unfairly to you; I
feel it. Do you remember how we parted? Your nerves were unhinged and your
knees were shaking and so were mine. And, you know, our behaviour was
unseemly, even ungentlemanly. And yet we are gentlemen, above all, in any
case, gentlemen; that must be understood. Do you remember what we came
to?... and it was quite indecorous.”</p>
<p>“What is he up to, what does he take me for?” Raskolnikov asked himself in
amazement, raising his head and looking with open eyes on Porfiry.</p>
<p>“I’ve decided openness is better between us,” Porfiry Petrovitch went on,
turning his head away and dropping his eyes, as though unwilling to
disconcert his former victim and as though disdaining his former wiles.
“Yes, such suspicions and such scenes cannot continue for long. Nikolay
put a stop to it, or I don’t know what we might not have come to. That
damned workman was sitting at the time in the next room—can you
realise that? You know that, of course; and I am aware that he came to you
afterwards. But what you supposed then was not true: I had not sent for
anyone, I had made no kind of arrangements. You ask why I hadn’t? What
shall I say to you? it had all come upon me so suddenly. I had scarcely
sent for the porters (you noticed them as you went out, I dare say). An
idea flashed upon me; I was firmly convinced at the time, you see, Rodion
Romanovitch. Come, I thought—even if I let one thing slip for a
time, I shall get hold of something else—I shan’t lose what I want,
anyway. You are nervously irritable, Rodion Romanovitch, by temperament;
it’s out of proportion with other qualities of your heart and character,
which I flatter myself I have to some extent divined. Of course I did
reflect even then that it does not always happen that a man gets up and
blurts out his whole story. It does happen sometimes, if you make a man
lose all patience, though even then it’s rare. I was capable of realising
that. If I only had a fact, I thought, the least little fact to go upon,
something I could lay hold of, something tangible, not merely
psychological. For if a man is guilty, you must be able to get something
substantial out of him; one may reckon upon most surprising results
indeed. I was reckoning on your temperament, Rodion Romanovitch, on your
temperament above all things! I had great hopes of you at that time.”</p>
<p>“But what are you driving at now?” Raskolnikov muttered at last, asking
the question without thinking.</p>
<p>“What is he talking about?” he wondered distractedly, “does he really take
me to be innocent?”</p>
<p>“What am I driving at? I’ve come to explain myself, I consider it my duty,
so to speak. I want to make clear to you how the whole business, the whole
misunderstanding arose. I’ve caused you a great deal of suffering, Rodion
Romanovitch. I am not a monster. I understand what it must mean for a man
who has been unfortunate, but who is proud, imperious and above all,
impatient, to have to bear such treatment! I regard you in any case as a
man of noble character and not without elements of magnanimity, though I
don’t agree with all your convictions. I wanted to tell you this first,
frankly and quite sincerely, for above all I don’t want to deceive you.
When I made your acquaintance, I felt attracted by you. Perhaps you will
laugh at my saying so. You have a right to. I know you disliked me from
the first and indeed you’ve no reason to like me. You may think what you
like, but I desire now to do all I can to efface that impression and to
show that I am a man of heart and conscience. I speak sincerely.”</p>
<p>Porfiry Petrovitch made a dignified pause. Raskolnikov felt a rush of
renewed alarm. The thought that Porfiry believed him to be innocent began
to make him uneasy.</p>
<p>“It’s scarcely necessary to go over everything in detail,” Porfiry
Petrovitch went on. “Indeed, I could scarcely attempt it. To begin with
there were rumours. Through whom, how, and when those rumours came to
me... and how they affected you, I need not go into. My suspicions were
aroused by a complete accident, which might just as easily not have
happened. What was it? Hm! I believe there is no need to go into that
either. Those rumours and that accident led to one idea in my mind. I
admit it openly—for one may as well make a clean breast of it—I
was the first to pitch on you. The old woman’s notes on the pledges and
the rest of it—that all came to nothing. Yours was one of a hundred.
I happened, too, to hear of the scene at the office, from a man who
described it capitally, unconsciously reproducing the scene with great
vividness. It was just one thing after another, Rodion Romanovitch, my
dear fellow! How could I avoid being brought to certain ideas? From a
hundred rabbits you can’t make a horse, a hundred suspicions don’t make a
proof, as the English proverb says, but that’s only from the rational
point of view—you can’t help being partial, for after all a lawyer
is only human. I thought, too, of your article in that journal, do you
remember, on your first visit we talked of it? I jeered at you at the
time, but that was only to lead you on. I repeat, Rodion Romanovitch, you
are ill and impatient. That you were bold, headstrong, in earnest and...
had felt a great deal I recognised long before. I, too, have felt the
same, so that your article seemed familiar to me. It was conceived on
sleepless nights, with a throbbing heart, in ecstasy and suppressed
enthusiasm. And that proud suppressed enthusiasm in young people is
dangerous! I jeered at you then, but let me tell you that, as a literary
amateur, I am awfully fond of such first essays, full of the heat of
youth. There is a mistiness and a chord vibrating in the mist. Your
article is absurd and fantastic, but there’s a transparent sincerity, a
youthful incorruptible pride and the daring of despair in it. It’s a
gloomy article, but that’s what’s fine in it. I read your article and put
it aside, thinking as I did so ‘that man won’t go the common way.’ Well, I
ask you, after that as a preliminary, how could I help being carried away
by what followed? Oh, dear, I am not saying anything, I am not making any
statement now. I simply noted it at the time. What is there in it? I
reflected. There’s nothing in it, that is really nothing and perhaps
absolutely nothing. And it’s not at all the thing for the prosecutor to
let himself be carried away by notions: here I have Nikolay on my hands
with actual evidence against him—you may think what you like of it,
but it’s evidence. He brings in his psychology, too; one has to consider
him, too, for it’s a matter of life and death. Why am I explaining this to
you? That you may understand, and not blame my malicious behaviour on that
occasion. It was not malicious, I assure you, he-he! Do you suppose I
didn’t come to search your room at the time? I did, I did, he-he! I was
here when you were lying ill in bed, not officially, not in my own person,
but I was here. Your room was searched to the last thread at the first
suspicion; but <i>umsonst</i>! I thought to myself, now that man will
come, will come of himself and quickly, too; if he’s guilty, he’s sure to
come. Another man wouldn’t, but he will. And you remember how Mr.
Razumihin began discussing the subject with you? We arranged that to
excite you, so we purposely spread rumours, that he might discuss the case
with you, and Razumihin is not a man to restrain his indignation. Mr.
Zametov was tremendously struck by your anger and your open daring. Think
of blurting out in a restaurant ‘I killed her.’ It was too daring, too
reckless. I thought so myself, if he is guilty he will be a formidable
opponent. That was what I thought at the time. I was expecting you. But
you simply bowled Zametov over and... well, you see, it all lies in this—that
this damnable psychology can be taken two ways! Well, I kept expecting
you, and so it was, you came! My heart was fairly throbbing. Ach!</p>
<p>“Now, why need you have come? Your laughter, too, as you came in, do you
remember? I saw it all plain as daylight, but if I hadn’t expected you so
specially, I should not have noticed anything in your laughter. You see
what influence a mood has! Mr. Razumihin then—ah, that stone, that
stone under which the things were hidden! I seem to see it somewhere in a
kitchen garden. It was in a kitchen garden, you told Zametov and
afterwards you repeated that in my office? And when we began picking your
article to pieces, how you explained it! One could take every word of
yours in two senses, as though there were another meaning hidden.</p>
<p>“So in this way, Rodion Romanovitch, I reached the furthest limit, and
knocking my head against a post, I pulled myself up, asking myself what I
was about. After all, I said, you can take it all in another sense if you
like, and it’s more natural so, indeed. I couldn’t help admitting it was
more natural. I was bothered! ‘No, I’d better get hold of some little
fact’ I said. So when I heard of the bell-ringing, I held my breath and
was all in a tremor. ‘Here is my little fact,’ thought I, and I didn’t
think it over, I simply wouldn’t. I would have given a thousand roubles at
that minute to have seen you with my own eyes, when you walked a hundred
paces beside that workman, after he had called you murderer to your face,
and you did not dare to ask him a question all the way. And then what
about your trembling, what about your bell-ringing in your illness, in
semi-delirium?</p>
<p>“And so, Rodion Romanovitch, can you wonder that I played such pranks on
you? And what made you come at that very minute? Someone seemed to have
sent you, by Jove! And if Nikolay had not parted us... and do you remember
Nikolay at the time? Do you remember him clearly? It was a thunderbolt, a
regular thunderbolt! And how I met him! I didn’t believe in the
thunderbolt, not for a minute. You could see it for yourself; and how
could I? Even afterwards, when you had gone and he began making very, very
plausible answers on certain points, so that I was surprised at him
myself, even then I didn’t believe his story! You see what it is to be as
firm as a rock! No, thought I, <i>Morgenfrüh</i>. What has Nikolay got to
do with it!”</p>
<p>“Razumihin told me just now that you think Nikolay guilty and had yourself
assured him of it....”</p>
<p>His voice failed him, and he broke off. He had been listening in
indescribable agitation, as this man who had seen through and through him,
went back upon himself. He was afraid of believing it and did not believe
it. In those still ambiguous words he kept eagerly looking for something
more definite and conclusive.</p>
<p>“Mr. Razumihin!” cried Porfiry Petrovitch, seeming glad of a question from
Raskolnikov, who had till then been silent. “He-he-he! But I had to put
Mr. Razumihin off; two is company, three is none. Mr. Razumihin is not the
right man, besides he is an outsider. He came running to me with a pale
face.... But never mind him, why bring him in? To return to Nikolay, would
you like to know what sort of a type he is, how I understand him, that is?
To begin with, he is still a child and not exactly a coward, but something
by way of an artist. Really, don’t laugh at my describing him so. He is
innocent and responsive to influence. He has a heart, and is a fantastic
fellow. He sings and dances, he tells stories, they say, so that people
come from other villages to hear him. He attends school too, and laughs
till he cries if you hold up a finger to him; he will drink himself
senseless—not as a regular vice, but at times, when people treat
him, like a child. And he stole, too, then, without knowing it himself,
for ‘How can it be stealing, if one picks it up?’ And do you know he is an
Old Believer, or rather a dissenter? There have been Wanderers[*] in his
family, and he was for two years in his village under the spiritual
guidance of a certain elder. I learnt all this from Nikolay and from his
fellow villagers. And what’s more, he wanted to run into the wilderness!
He was full of fervour, prayed at night, read the old books, ‘the true’
ones, and read himself crazy.</p>
<p class="footnote">
[*] A religious sect.—TRANSLATOR’S NOTE.</p>
<p>“Petersburg had a great effect upon him, especially the women and the
wine. He responds to everything and he forgot the elder and all that. I
learnt that an artist here took a fancy to him, and used to go and see
him, and now this business came upon him.</p>
<p>“Well, he was frightened, he tried to hang himself! He ran away! How can
one get over the idea the people have of Russian legal proceedings? The
very word ‘trial’ frightens some of them. Whose fault is it? We shall see
what the new juries will do. God grant they do good! Well, in prison, it
seems, he remembered the venerable elder; the Bible, too, made its
appearance again. Do you know, Rodion Romanovitch, the force of the word
‘suffering’ among some of these people! It’s not a question of suffering
for someone’s benefit, but simply, ‘one must suffer.’ If they suffer at
the hands of the authorities, so much the better. In my time there was a
very meek and mild prisoner who spent a whole year in prison always
reading his Bible on the stove at night and he read himself crazy, and so
crazy, do you know, that one day, apropos of nothing, he seized a brick
and flung it at the governor; though he had done him no harm. And the way
he threw it too: aimed it a yard on one side on purpose, for fear of
hurting him. Well, we know what happens to a prisoner who assaults an
officer with a weapon. So ‘he took his suffering.’</p>
<p>“So I suspect now that Nikolay wants to take his suffering or something of
the sort. I know it for certain from facts, indeed. Only he doesn’t know
that I know. What, you don’t admit that there are such fantastic people
among the peasants? Lots of them. The elder now has begun influencing him,
especially since he tried to hang himself. But he’ll come and tell me all
himself. You think he’ll hold out? Wait a bit, he’ll take his words back.
I am waiting from hour to hour for him to come and abjure his evidence. I
have come to like that Nikolay and am studying him in detail. And what do
you think? He-he! He answered me very plausibly on some points, he
obviously had collected some evidence and prepared himself cleverly. But
on other points he is simply at sea, knows nothing and doesn’t even
suspect that he doesn’t know!</p>
<p>“No, Rodion Romanovitch, Nikolay doesn’t come in! This is a fantastic,
gloomy business, a modern case, an incident of to-day when the heart of
man is troubled, when the phrase is quoted that blood ‘renews,’ when
comfort is preached as the aim of life. Here we have bookish dreams, a
heart unhinged by theories. Here we see resolution in the first stage, but
resolution of a special kind: he resolved to do it like jumping over a
precipice or from a bell tower and his legs shook as he went to the crime.
He forgot to shut the door after him, and murdered two people for a
theory. He committed the murder and couldn’t take the money, and what he
did manage to snatch up he hid under a stone. It wasn’t enough for him to
suffer agony behind the door while they battered at the door and rung the
bell, no, he had to go to the empty lodging, half delirious, to recall the
bell-ringing, he wanted to feel the cold shiver over again.... Well, that
we grant, was through illness, but consider this: he is a murderer, but
looks upon himself as an honest man, despises others, poses as injured
innocence. No, that’s not the work of a Nikolay, my dear Rodion
Romanovitch!”</p>
<p>All that had been said before had sounded so like a recantation that these
words were too great a shock. Raskolnikov shuddered as though he had been
stabbed.</p>
<p>“Then... who then... is the murderer?” he asked in a breathless voice,
unable to restrain himself.</p>
<p>Porfiry Petrovitch sank back in his chair, as though he were amazed at the
question.</p>
<p>“Who is the murderer?” he repeated, as though unable to believe his ears.
“Why, <i>you</i>, Rodion Romanovitch! You are the murderer,” he added,
almost in a whisper, in a voice of genuine conviction.</p>
<p>Raskolnikov leapt from the sofa, stood up for a few seconds and sat down
again without uttering a word. His face twitched convulsively.</p>
<p>“Your lip is twitching just as it did before,” Porfiry Petrovitch observed
almost sympathetically. “You’ve been misunderstanding me, I think, Rodion
Romanovitch,” he added after a brief pause, “that’s why you are so
surprised. I came on purpose to tell you everything and deal openly with
you.”</p>
<p>“It was not I murdered her,” Raskolnikov whispered like a frightened child
caught in the act.</p>
<p>“No, it was you, you Rodion Romanovitch, and no one else,” Porfiry
whispered sternly, with conviction.</p>
<p>They were both silent and the silence lasted strangely long, about ten
minutes. Raskolnikov put his elbow on the table and passed his fingers
through his hair. Porfiry Petrovitch sat quietly waiting. Suddenly
Raskolnikov looked scornfully at Porfiry.</p>
<p>“You are at your old tricks again, Porfiry Petrovitch! Your old method
again. I wonder you don’t get sick of it!”</p>
<p>“Oh, stop that, what does that matter now? It would be a different matter
if there were witnesses present, but we are whispering alone. You see
yourself that I have not come to chase and capture you like a hare.
Whether you confess it or not is nothing to me now; for myself, I am
convinced without it.”</p>
<p>“If so, what did you come for?” Raskolnikov asked irritably. “I ask you
the same question again: if you consider me guilty, why don’t you take me
to prison?”</p>
<p>“Oh, that’s your question! I will answer you, point for point. In the
first place, to arrest you so directly is not to my interest.”</p>
<p>“How so? If you are convinced you ought....”</p>
<p>“Ach, what if I am convinced? That’s only my dream for the time. Why
should I put you in safety? You know that’s it, since you ask me to do it.
If I confront you with that workman for instance and you say to him ‘were
you drunk or not? Who saw me with you? I simply took you to be drunk, and
you were drunk, too.’ Well, what could I answer, especially as your story
is a more likely one than his? for there’s nothing but psychology to
support his evidence—that’s almost unseemly with his ugly mug, while
you hit the mark exactly, for the rascal is an inveterate drunkard and
notoriously so. And I have myself admitted candidly several times already
that that psychology can be taken in two ways and that the second way is
stronger and looks far more probable, and that apart from that I have as
yet nothing against you. And though I shall put you in prison and indeed
have come—quite contrary to etiquette—to inform you of it
beforehand, yet I tell you frankly, also contrary to etiquette, that it
won’t be to my advantage. Well, secondly, I’ve come to you because...”</p>
<p>“Yes, yes, secondly?” Raskolnikov was listening breathless.</p>
<p>“Because, as I told you just now, I consider I owe you an explanation. I
don’t want you to look upon me as a monster, as I have a genuine liking
for you, you may believe me or not. And in the third place I’ve come to
you with a direct and open proposition—that you should surrender and
confess. It will be infinitely more to your advantage and to my advantage
too, for my task will be done. Well, is this open on my part or not?”</p>
<p>Raskolnikov thought a minute.</p>
<p>“Listen, Porfiry Petrovitch. You said just now you have nothing but
psychology to go on, yet now you’ve gone on mathematics. Well, what if you
are mistaken yourself, now?”</p>
<p>“No, Rodion Romanovitch, I am not mistaken. I have a little fact even
then, Providence sent it me.”</p>
<p>“What little fact?”</p>
<p>“I won’t tell you what, Rodion Romanovitch. And in any case, I haven’t the
right to put it off any longer, I must arrest you. So think it over: it
makes no difference to me <i>now</i> and so I speak only for your sake.
Believe me, it will be better, Rodion Romanovitch.”</p>
<p>Raskolnikov smiled malignantly.</p>
<p>“That’s not simply ridiculous, it’s positively shameless. Why, even if I
were guilty, which I don’t admit, what reason should I have to confess,
when you tell me yourself that I shall be in greater safety in prison?”</p>
<p>“Ah, Rodion Romanovitch, don’t put too much faith in words, perhaps prison
will not be altogether a restful place. That’s only theory and my theory,
and what authority am I for you? Perhaps, too, even now I am hiding
something from you? I can’t lay bare everything, he-he! And how can you
ask what advantage? Don’t you know how it would lessen your sentence? You
would be confessing at a moment when another man has taken the crime on
himself and so has muddled the whole case. Consider that! I swear before
God that I will so arrange that your confession shall come as a complete
surprise. We will make a clean sweep of all these psychological points, of
a suspicion against you, so that your crime will appear to have been
something like an aberration, for in truth it was an aberration. I am an
honest man, Rodion Romanovitch, and will keep my word.”</p>
<p>Raskolnikov maintained a mournful silence and let his head sink
dejectedly. He pondered a long while and at last smiled again, but his
smile was sad and gentle.</p>
<p>“No!” he said, apparently abandoning all attempt to keep up appearances
with Porfiry, “it’s not worth it, I don’t care about lessening the
sentence!”</p>
<p>“That’s just what I was afraid of!” Porfiry cried warmly and, as it
seemed, involuntarily. “That’s just what I feared, that you wouldn’t care
about the mitigation of sentence.”</p>
<p>Raskolnikov looked sadly and expressively at him.</p>
<p>“Ah, don’t disdain life!” Porfiry went on. “You have a great deal of it
still before you. How can you say you don’t want a mitigation of sentence?
You are an impatient fellow!”</p>
<p>“A great deal of what lies before me?”</p>
<p>“Of life. What sort of prophet are you, do you know much about it? Seek
and ye shall find. This may be God’s means for bringing you to Him. And
it’s not for ever, the bondage....”</p>
<p>“The time will be shortened,” laughed Raskolnikov.</p>
<p>“Why, is it the bourgeois disgrace you are afraid of? It may be that you
are afraid of it without knowing it, because you are young! But anyway <i>you</i>
shouldn’t be afraid of giving yourself up and confessing.”</p>
<p>“Ach, hang it!” Raskolnikov whispered with loathing and contempt, as
though he did not want to speak aloud.</p>
<p>He got up again as though he meant to go away, but sat down again in
evident despair.</p>
<p>“Hang it, if you like! You’ve lost faith and you think that I am grossly
flattering you; but how long has your life been? How much do you
understand? You made up a theory and then were ashamed that it broke down
and turned out to be not at all original! It turned out something base,
that’s true, but you are not hopelessly base. By no means so base! At
least you didn’t deceive yourself for long, you went straight to the
furthest point at one bound. How do I regard you? I regard you as one of
those men who would stand and smile at their torturer while he cuts their
entrails out, if only they have found faith or God. Find it and you will
live. You have long needed a change of air. Suffering, too, is a good
thing. Suffer! Maybe Nikolay is right in wanting to suffer. I know you
don’t believe in it—but don’t be over-wise; fling yourself straight
into life, without deliberation; don’t be afraid—the flood will bear
you to the bank and set you safe on your feet again. What bank? How can I
tell? I only believe that you have long life before you. I know that you
take all my words now for a set speech prepared beforehand, but maybe you
will remember them after. They may be of use some time. That’s why I
speak. It’s as well that you only killed the old woman. If you’d invented
another theory you might perhaps have done something a thousand times more
hideous. You ought to thank God, perhaps. How do you know? Perhaps God is
saving you for something. But keep a good heart and have less fear! Are
you afraid of the great expiation before you? No, it would be shameful to
be afraid of it. Since you have taken such a step, you must harden your
heart. There is justice in it. You must fulfil the demands of justice. I
know that you don’t believe it, but indeed, life will bring you through.
You will live it down in time. What you need now is fresh air, fresh air,
fresh air!”</p>
<p>Raskolnikov positively started.</p>
<p>“But who are you? what prophet are you? From the height of what majestic
calm do you proclaim these words of wisdom?”</p>
<p>“Who am I? I am a man with nothing to hope for, that’s all. A man perhaps
of feeling and sympathy, maybe of some knowledge too, but my day is over.
But you are a different matter, there is life waiting for you. Though, who
knows? maybe your life, too, will pass off in smoke and come to nothing.
Come, what does it matter, that you will pass into another class of men?
It’s not comfort you regret, with your heart! What of it that perhaps no
one will see you for so long? It’s not time, but yourself that will decide
that. Be the sun and all will see you. The sun has before all to be the
sun. Why are you smiling again? At my being such a Schiller? I bet you’re
imagining that I am trying to get round you by flattery. Well, perhaps I
am, he-he-he! Perhaps you’d better not believe my word, perhaps you’d
better never believe it altogether—I’m made that way, I confess it.
But let me add, you can judge for yourself, I think, how far I am a base
sort of man and how far I am honest.”</p>
<p>“When do you mean to arrest me?”</p>
<p>“Well, I can let you walk about another day or two. Think it over, my dear
fellow, and pray to God. It’s more in your interest, believe me.”</p>
<p>“And what if I run away?” asked Raskolnikov with a strange smile.</p>
<p>“No, you won’t run away. A peasant would run away, a fashionable dissenter
would run away, the flunkey of another man’s thought, for you’ve only to
show him the end of your little finger and he’ll be ready to believe in
anything for the rest of his life. But you’ve ceased to believe in your
theory already, what will you run away with? And what would you do in
hiding? It would be hateful and difficult for you, and what you need more
than anything in life is a definite position, an atmosphere to suit you.
And what sort of atmosphere would you have? If you ran away, you’d come
back to yourself. <i>You can’t get on without us.</i> And if I put you in
prison—say you’ve been there a month, or two, or three—remember
my word, you’ll confess of yourself and perhaps to your own surprise. You
won’t know an hour beforehand that you are coming with a confession. I am
convinced that you will decide, ‘to take your suffering.’ You don’t
believe my words now, but you’ll come to it of yourself. For suffering,
Rodion Romanovitch, is a great thing. Never mind my having grown fat, I
know all the same. Don’t laugh at it, there’s an idea in suffering,
Nikolay is right. No, you won’t run away, Rodion Romanovitch.”</p>
<p>Raskolnikov got up and took his cap. Porfiry Petrovitch also rose.</p>
<p>“Are you going for a walk? The evening will be fine, if only we don’t have
a storm. Though it would be a good thing to freshen the air.”</p>
<p>He, too, took his cap.</p>
<p>“Porfiry Petrovitch, please don’t take up the notion that I have confessed
to you to-day,” Raskolnikov pronounced with sullen insistence. “You’re a
strange man and I have listened to you from simple curiosity. But I have
admitted nothing, remember that!”</p>
<p>“Oh, I know that, I’ll remember. Look at him, he’s trembling! Don’t be
uneasy, my dear fellow, have it your own way. Walk about a bit, you won’t
be able to walk too far. If anything happens, I have one request to make
of you,” he added, dropping his voice. “It’s an awkward one, but
important. If anything were to happen (though indeed I don’t believe in it
and think you quite incapable of it), yet in case you were taken during
these forty or fifty hours with the notion of putting an end to the
business in some other way, in some fantastic fashion—laying hands
on yourself—(it’s an absurd proposition, but you must forgive me for
it) do leave a brief but precise note, only two lines, and mention the
stone. It will be more generous. Come, till we meet! Good thoughts and
sound decisions to you!”</p>
<p>Porfiry went out, stooping and avoiding looking at Raskolnikov. The latter
went to the window and waited with irritable impatience till he calculated
that Porfiry had reached the street and moved away. Then he too went
hurriedly out of the room.</p>
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