<SPAN name="chap36"></SPAN>
<h3 align="center"> CHAPTER 36 </h3>
<p>As the single gentleman after some weeks' occupation of his lodgings,
still declined to correspond, by word or gesture, either with Mr Brass
or his sister Sally, but invariably chose Richard Swiveller as his
channel of communication; and as he proved himself in all respects a
highly desirable inmate, paying for everything beforehand, giving very
little trouble, making no noise, and keeping early hours; Mr Richard
imperceptibly rose to an important position in the family, as one who
had influence over this mysterious lodger, and could negotiate with
him, for good or evil, when nobody else durst approach his person.</p>
<p>If the truth must be told, even Mr Swiveller's approaches to the single
gentleman were of a very distant kind, and met with small
encouragement; but, as he never returned from a monosyllabic conference
with the unknown, without quoting such expressions as 'Swiveller, I
know I can rely upon you,'—'I have no hesitation in saying, Swiveller,
that I entertain a regard for you,'—'Swiveller, you are my friend, and
will stand by me I am sure,' with many other short speeches of the same
familiar and confiding kind, purporting to have been addressed by the
single gentleman to himself, and to form the staple of their ordinary
discourse, neither Mr Brass nor Miss Sally for a moment questioned the
extent of his influence, but accorded to him their fullest and most
unqualified belief. But quite apart from, and independent of, this
source of popularity, Mr Swiveller had another, which promised to be
equally enduring, and to lighten his position considerably.</p>
<p>He found favour in the eyes of Miss Sally Brass. Let not the light
scorners of female fascination erect their ears to listen to a new tale
of love which shall serve them for a jest; for Miss Brass, however
accurately formed to be beloved, was not of the loving kind. That
amiable virgin, having clung to the skirts of the Law from her earliest
youth; having sustained herself by their aid, as it were, in her first
running alone, and maintained a firm grasp upon them ever since; had
passed her life in a kind of legal childhood. She had been remarkable,
when a tender prattler for an uncommon talent in counterfeiting the
walk and manner of a bailiff: in which character she had learned to tap
her little playfellows on the shoulder, and to carry them off to
imaginary sponging-houses, with a correctness of imitation which was
the surprise and delight of all who witnessed her performances, and
which was only to be exceeded by her exquisite manner of putting an
execution into her doll's house, and taking an exact inventory of the
chairs and tables. These artless sports had naturally soothed and
cheered the decline of her widowed father: a most exemplary gentleman
(called 'old Foxey' by his friends from his extreme sagacity,) who
encouraged them to the utmost, and whose chief regret, on finding that
he drew near to Houndsditch churchyard, was, that his daughter could
not take out an attorney's certificate and hold a place upon the roll.
Filled with this affectionate and touching sorrow, he had solemnly
confided her to his son Sampson as an invaluable auxiliary; and from
the old gentleman's decease to the period of which we treat, Miss Sally
Brass had been the prop and pillar of his business.</p>
<p>It is obvious that, having devoted herself from infancy to this one
pursuit and study, Miss Brass could know but little of the world,
otherwise than in connection with the law; and that from a lady gifted
with such high tastes, proficiency in those gentler and softer arts in
which women usually excel, was scarcely to be looked for. Miss Sally's
accomplishments were all of a masculine and strictly legal kind. They
began with the practice of an attorney and they ended with it. She was
in a state of lawful innocence, so to speak. The law had been her
nurse. And, as bandy-legs or such physical deformities in children are
held to be the consequence of bad nursing, so, if in a mind so
beautiful any moral twist or handiness could be found, Miss Sally
Brass's nurse was alone to blame.</p>
<p>It was on this lady, then, that Mr Swiveller burst in full freshness as
something new and hitherto undreamed of, lighting up the office with
scraps of song and merriment, conjuring with inkstands and boxes of
wafers, catching three oranges in one hand, balancing stools upon his
chin and penknives on his nose, and constantly performing a hundred
other feats with equal ingenuity; for with such unbendings did Richard,
in Mr Brass's absence, relieve the tedium of his confinement. These
social qualities, which Miss Sally first discovered by accident,
gradually made such an impression upon her, that she would entreat Mr
Swiveller to relax as though she were not by, which Mr Swiveller,
nothing loth, would readily consent to do. By these means a friendship
sprung up between them. Mr Swiveller gradually came to look upon her
as her brother Sampson did, and as he would have looked upon any other
clerk. He imparted to her the mystery of going the odd man or plain
Newmarket for fruit, ginger-beer, baked potatoes, or even a modest
quencher, of which Miss Brass did not scruple to partake. He would
often persuade her to undertake his share of writing in addition to her
own; nay, he would sometimes reward her with a hearty slap on the back,
and protest that she was a devilish good fellow, a jolly dog, and so
forth; all of which compliments Miss Sally would receive in entire good
part and with perfect satisfaction.</p>
<p>One circumstance troubled Mr Swiveller's mind very much, and that was
that the small servant always remained somewhere in the bowels of the
earth under Bevis Marks, and never came to the surface unless the
single gentleman rang his bell, when she would answer it and
immediately disappear again. She never went out, or came into the
office, or had a clean face, or took off the coarse apron, or looked
out of any one of the windows, or stood at the street-door for a breath
of air, or had any rest or enjoyment whatever. Nobody ever came to see
her, nobody spoke of her, nobody cared about her. Mr Brass had said
once, that he believed she was a 'love-child' (which means anything but
a child of love), and that was all the information Richard Swiveller
could obtain.</p>
<p>'It's of no use asking the dragon,' thought Dick one day, as he sat
contemplating the features of Miss Sally Brass. 'I suspect if I asked
any questions on that head, our alliance would be at an end. I wonder
whether she is a dragon by-the-bye, or something in the mermaid way.
She has rather a scaly appearance. But mermaids are fond of looking at
themselves in the glass, which she can't be. And they have a habit of
combing their hair, which she hasn't. No, she's a dragon.'</p>
<p>'Where are you going, old fellow?' said Dick aloud, as Miss Sally wiped
her pen as usual on the green dress, and uprose from her seat.</p>
<p>'To dinner,' answered the dragon.</p>
<p>'To dinner!' thought Dick, 'that's another circumstance. I don't
believe that small servant ever has anything to eat.'</p>
<p>'Sammy won't be home,' said Miss Brass. 'Stop till I come back. I
sha'n't be long.'</p>
<p>Dick nodded, and followed Miss Brass—with his eyes to the door, and
with his ears to a little back parlour, where she and her brother took
their meals.</p>
<p>'Now,' said Dick, walking up and down with his hands in his pockets,
'I'd give something—if I had it—to know how they use that child, and
where they keep her. My mother must have been a very inquisitive
woman; I have no doubt I'm marked with a note of interrogation
somewhere. My feelings I smother, but thou hast been the cause of this
anguish, my—upon my word,' said Mr Swiveller, checking himself and
falling thoughtfully into the client's chair, 'I should like to know
how they use her!'</p>
<p>After running on, in this way, for some time, Mr Swiveller softly
opened the office door, with the intention of darting across the street
for a glass of the mild porter. At that moment he caught a parting
glimpse of the brown head-dress of Miss Brass flitting down the kitchen
stairs. 'And by Jove!' thought Dick, 'she's going to feed the small
servant. Now or never!'</p>
<p>First peeping over the handrail and allowing the head-dress to
disappear in the darkness below, he groped his way down, and arrived at
the door of a back kitchen immediately after Miss Brass had entered the
same, bearing in her hand a cold leg of mutton. It was a very dark
miserable place, very low and very damp: the walls disfigured by a
thousand rents and blotches. The water was trickling out of a leaky
butt, and a most wretched cat was lapping up the drops with the sickly
eagerness of starvation. The grate, which was a wide one, was wound
and screwed up tight, so as to hold no more than a little thin sandwich
of fire. Everything was locked up; the coal-cellar, the candle-box,
the salt-box, the meat-safe, were all padlocked. There was nothing
that a beetle could have lunched upon. The pinched and meagre aspect
of the place would have killed a chameleon. He would have known, at
the first mouthful, that the air was not eatable, and must have given
up the ghost in despair.</p>
<p>The small servant stood with humility in presence of Miss Sally, and
hung her head.</p>
<p>'Are you there?' said Miss Sally.</p>
<p>'Yes, ma'am,' was the answer in a weak voice.</p>
<p>'Go further away from the leg of mutton, or you'll be picking it, I
know,' said Miss Sally.</p>
<p>The girl withdrew into a corner, while Miss Brass took a key from her
pocket, and opening the safe, brought from it a dreary waste of cold
potatoes, looking as eatable as Stonehenge. This she placed before the
small servant, ordering her to sit down before it, and then, taking up
a great carving-knife, made a mighty show of sharpening it upon the
carving-fork.</p>
<p>'Do you see this?' said Miss Brass, slicing off about two square inches
of cold mutton, after all this preparation, and holding it out on the
point of the fork.</p>
<p>The small servant looked hard enough at it with her hungry eyes to see
every shred of it, small as it was, and answered, 'yes.'</p>
<p>'Then don't you ever go and say,' retorted Miss Sally, 'that you hadn't
meat here. There, eat it up.'</p>
<p>This was soon done. 'Now, do you want any more?' said Miss Sally.</p>
<p>The hungry creature answered with a faint 'No.' They were evidently
going through an established form.</p>
<p>'You've been helped once to meat,' said Miss Brass, summing up the
facts; 'you have had as much as you can eat, you're asked if you want
any more, and you answer, 'no!' Then don't you ever go and say you were
allowanced, mind that.'</p>
<p>With those words, Miss Sally put the meat away and locked the safe, and
then drawing near to the small servant, overlooked her while she
finished the potatoes.</p>
<p>It was plain that some extraordinary grudge was working in Miss Brass's
gentle breast, and that it was that which impelled her, without the
smallest present cause, to rap the child with the blade of the knife,
now on her hand, now on her head, and now on her back, as if she found
it quite impossible to stand so close to her without administering a
few slight knocks. But Mr Swiveller was not a little surprised to see
his fellow-clerk, after walking slowly backwards towards the door, as
if she were trying to withdraw herself from the room but could not
accomplish it, dart suddenly forward, and falling on the small servant
give her some hard blows with her clenched hand. The victim cried, but
in a subdued manner as if she feared to raise her voice, and Miss
Sally, comforting herself with a pinch of snuff, ascended the stairs,
just as Richard had safely reached the office.</p>
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