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<h2> LETTER LXXIII </h2>
<p>MR. BELFORD, TO ROBERT LOVELACE, ESQ. FRIDAY NIGHT, AUG. 4.</p>
<p>I have actually delivered to the lady the extracts she requested me to
give her from your letters. I do assure you that I have made the very best
of the matter for you, not that conscience, but that friendship, could
oblige me to make. I have changed or omitted some free words. The warm
description of her person in the fire-scene, as I may call it, I have
omitted. I have told her, that I have done justice to you, in the justice
you have done to her by her unexampled virtue. But take the very words
which I wrote to her immediately following the extracts:</p>
<p>'And now, Madam,'—See the paragraph marked with an inverted comma
[thus '], Letter LXX. of this volume.</p>
<p>The lady is extremely uneasy at the thoughts of your attempting to visit
her. For Heaven's sake, (your word being given,) and for pity's sake, (for
she is really in a very weak and languishing way,) let me beg of you not
to think of it.</p>
<p>Yesterday afternoon she received a cruel letter (as Mrs. Lovick supposes
it to be, by the effect it had upon her) from her sister, in answer to one
written last Saturday, entreating a blessing and forgiveness from her
parents.</p>
<p>She acknowledges, that if the same decency and justice are observed in all
of your letters, as in the extracts I have obliged her with, (as I have
assured her they are,) she shall think herself freed from the necessity of
writing her own story: and this is an advantage to thee which thou
oughtest to thank me for.</p>
<p>But what thinkest thou is the second request she had to make to me? no
other than that I would be her executor!—Her motives will appear
before thee in proper time; and then, I dare to answer, will be
satisfactory.</p>
<p>You cannot imagine how proud I am of this trust. I am afraid I shall too
soon come into the execution of it. As she is always writing, what a
melancholy pleasure will be the perusal and disposition of her papers
afford me! such a sweetness of temper, so much patience and resignation,
as she seems to be mistress of; yet writing of and in the midst of present
distresses! how much more lively and affecting, for that reason, must her
style be; her mind tortured by the pangs of uncertainty, (the events then
hidden in the womb of fate,) than the dry, narrative, unanimated style of
persons, relating difficulties and dangers surmounted; the relater
perfectly at ease; and if himself unmoved by his own story, not likely
greatly to affect the reader!</p>
<p>*** SATURDAY MORNING, AUG. 5.</p>
<p>I am just returned from visiting the lady, and thanking her in person for
the honour she has done me; and assuring her, if called to the sacred
trust, of the utmost fidelity and exactness.</p>
<p>I found her very ill. I took notice of it. She said, she had received a
second hard-hearted letter from her sister; and she had been writing a
letter (and that on her knees) directly to her mother; which, before, she
had not had the courage to do. It was for a last blessing and forgiveness.
No wonder, she said, that I saw her affected. Now that I had accepted of
the last charitable office for her, (for which, as well as for complying
with her other request, she thanked me,) I should one day have all these
letters before me: and could she have a kind one in return to that she had
been now writing, to counterbalance the unkind one she had from her
sister, she might be induced to show me both together— otherwise,
for her sister's sake, it were no matter how few saw the poor Bella's
letter.</p>
<p>I knew she would be displeased if I had censured the cruelty of her
relations: I therefore only said, that surely she must have enemies, who
hoped to find their account in keeping up the resentments of her friends
against her.</p>
<p>It may be so, Mr. Belford, said she: the unhappy never want enemies. One
fault, wilfully committed, authorizes the imputation of many more. Where
the ear is opened to accusations, accusers will not be wanting; and every
one will officiously come with stories against a disgraced child, where
nothing dare be said in her favour. I should have been wise in time, and
not have needed to be convinced, by my own misfortunes, of the truth of
what common experience daily demonstrates. Mr. Lovelace's baseness, my
father's inflexibility, my sister's reproaches, are the natural
consequences of my own rashness; so I must make the best of my hard lot.
Only, as these consequences follow one another so closely, while they are
new, how can I help being anew affected?</p>
<p>I asked, if a letter written by myself, by her doctor or apothecary, to
any of her friends, representing her low state of health, and great
humility, would be acceptable? or if a journey to any of them would be of
service, I would gladly undertake it in person, and strictly conform to
her orders, to whomsoever she should direct me to apply.</p>
<p>She earnestly desired that nothing of this sort might be attempted,
especially without her knowledge and consent. Miss Howe, she said, had
done harm by her kindly-intended zeal; and if there were room to expect
favour by mediation, she had ready at hand a kind friend, Mrs. Norton, who
for piety and prudence had few equals; and who would let slip no
opportunity to endeavour to do her service.</p>
<p>I let her know that I was going out of town till Monday: she wished me
pleasure; and said she should be glad to see me on my return.</p>
<p>Adieu!</p>
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