<h3 align="center">Chapter XVII</h3>
<p>Ellen had always had objective points, as it were, in her life,
and she always would have, no matter how long she lived. She came to
places where she stopped mentally, for retrospection and forethought,
wherefrom she could seem to obtain a view of that which lay behind,
and of the path which was set for her feet in advance. She saw the
tracked and the trackless. Once, going with Abby Atkins and Floretta
in search of early spring flowers, Ellen had lingered and let them go
out of sight, and had sat down on a springing mat of wintergreen
leaves under the windy outstretch of a great pine, and had remained
there quite deaf to shrill halloos. She had sat there with eyes of
inward scrutiny like an Eastern sage's, motionless as on a rock of
thought, while her daily life eddied around her. Ellen, sitting
there, had said to herself: “This I will always remember. No
matter how long I live, where I am, and what happens to me, I will
always remember how I was a child, and sat here this morning in
spring under the pine-tree, looking backward and forward. I will
never forget.”</p>
<p>When, finally, Abby and Floretta had run back, and spied her
there, they had stared half frightened. “You ain't sick, are
you, Ellen?” asked Abby, anxiously.</p>
<p>“What are you sitting there for?” asked Floretta.</p>
<p>Ellen had replied that she was not sick, and had risen and run on,
looking for flowers, but the flowers for her bloomed always against a
background of the past, and nodded with forward flings of fragrance
into the future; for the other children, who were wholly of their own
day and generation, they bloomed in the simple light of their own
desire of possession. They picked only flowers, but Ellen picked
thoughts, and they kept casting bewildered side-glances at her, for
the look which had come into her eyes as she sat beneath the
pine-tree lingered.</p>
<p>It was as if a rose had a second of self-consciousness between the
bud and the blossom; a bird between its mother's brooding and the
song. She had caught sight of the innermost processes of things, of
her wheels of life.</p>
<p>Ellen waked up on that June morning, and the old sensation of a
pause before advance was upon her, and the strange solemnity which
was almost a terror, from the feeble clutching of her mind at the
comprehension of infinity. She looked at the morning sunlight coming
between the white slants of her curtains, an airy flutter of her new
dress from the closet, her valedictory, tied with a white satin
ribbon, on the stand, and she saw quite plainly all which had led up
to this, and to her, Ellen Brewster; and she saw also the
inevitableness of its passing, the precious valedictory being laid
away and buried beneath a pile of future ones; she saw the crowd of
future valedictorians advancing like a flock of white doves in their
white gowns, when hers was worn out, and its beauty gone, pressing
forward, dimming her to her own vision. She saw how she would come to
look calmly and coldly upon all that filled her with such joy and
excitement to-day; how the savor of the moment would pass from her
tongue, and she said to herself that she would always remember this
moment.</p>
<p>Then suddenly—since she had in herself an impetus of motion
which nothing, not even reflection, could long check—she saw
quite plainly a light beyond, after all this should have passed, and
the leaping power of her spirit to gain it. And then, since she was
healthy, and given only at wide intervals to these Eastern lapses of
consciousness from the present, she was back in her day, and alive to
all its importance as a part of time.</p>
<p>She felt the bounding elation of tossing on the crest of her wave
of success, and the full rainbow glory of it dazzled her eyes. She
was first in her class, she was valedictorian, she had a beautiful
dress, she was young, she was first. It is a poor spirit, and one
incapable of courage in defeat, who feels not triumph in victory.
Ellen was triumphant and confident. She had faith in herself and the
love and approbation of everybody.</p>
<p>When she was seated with her class on the stage in the city hall,
where the graduating exercises were held, she saw herself just as she
looked, and it was with a satisfaction which had nothing weakly in
its vein, and smiled radiantly and innocently at herself as seen in
this mirror of love and appreciation of all who knew her.</p>
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<ANTIMG src="images/plimage5.jpg" width-obs="457" height-obs="698" alt="The valedictory"></SPAN></div>
<p>When the band stopped playing, and Ellen, who as valedictorian
came last as the crown and capsheaf of it all, stepped forward from
the semicircle of white-clad girls and seriously abashed boys, there
was a subdued murmur and then a hush all over the hall. Andrew and
Fanny and the grandmother, seated directly in front of the
stage—for they had come early to secure good seats—heard
whispers of admiration on every side. It was admiration with no
dissent—such jealous ears as theirs could not be deceived.
Fanny's face was blazing with the sweet shame of pride in her child;
Andrew was pale; the grandmother sat as if petrified, with a proud
toss of her head. They looked straight ahead; they dared not
encounter each other's eyes, for they were more self-conscious than
Ellen. They felt the attention of the whole assembly upon them.
Andrew was conscious of feeling ill and faint. His own joy seemed to
overwhelm him. He forgot his stocks, he forgot his borrowed money, he
forgot Lloyd's; he was perfectly happy at the sight of that beautiful
young creature of his own heart, who was preferred before all others
in the sight of the whole city. In truth, there was about Ellen a
majesty and nobility of youth and innocence and beauty which
overawed. The other girls of the class were as young and as pretty,
but none of them had that indescribable quality which seemed to raise
her above them all. Ellen still kept her blond fairness, but there
was nothing of the doll-like which often characterizes the blond
type. Although she was small, Ellen's color had the firmness and
unwavering of tinted marble; she carried her crown of yellow braids
as if it had been gold; she moved and looked and spoke with decision.
The violent and intense temperament which she had inherited from two
sides of her family had crystallized in her to something more
forcible, but also more impressive. However, she was, after all, only
a young girl, scarcely more than a child, whatever her principle of
underlying character might be, and when she stood there before them
all—all her townspeople who represented her world, the human
shore upon which her own little individuality beat—when she saw
those attentive faces, row upon row, all fixed upon her, she felt her
heart pound against her side; she had no sensation of the roll of
paper in her hand; an awful terror as of suddenly discovered depths
came over her, as the wild clapping of hands to which her appearance
had given rise died away. Ellen stood still, holding the valedictory
as if it had been a stick. A little wondering murmur began to be
heard. Andrew felt as if he were dying. Fanny gripped his arm hard.
Mrs. Zelotes had the look of one about to spring. Ellen had the
terrible sensation which has in it a nightmare of inability to move,
allied with the intensest consciousness. She knew that she was to
read her valedictory, she knew that she must raise that
white-ribboned roll and read, or else be disgraced forever, and yet
she was powerless. But suddenly some compelling glance seemed to
arouse her from this lock of nerve and muscle; she raised her eyes,
and Cynthia Lennox, on the farther side of the hall, was gazing full
at her with an indescribable gaze of passion and help and command.
Her own mother's look could not have influenced her. Ellen raised her
valedictory, bowed, and began to read. Andrew looked so pale that
people nudged one another to look at him. Mrs. Zelotes settled back,
relaxing stiffly from her fierce attitude. Fanny wiped her forehead
with a cheap lace-bordered handkerchief. There was a stifled sob
farther back, that came from Eva Tenny, who sat back on account of a
break across the shoulders in the back of her silk dress. Amabel,
anæmic and eager in a little, tawdry, cheap muslin frock, sat
beside her, with worshipful eyes on Ellen. “What ailed
her?” she whispered, hitting her mother with a sharp little
elbow. “Hush up!” whispered Eva, angrily, surreptitiously
wiping her eyes. In front, directly in her line of vision, sat the
woman of whom she was jealous—the young widow, who had been
Aggie Bemis, arrayed in a handsome India silk and a flower-laden hat.
Eva's hat was trimmed with a draggled feather and a bunch of roses
which she had tried to color with aniline dye. When she got home that
night she tore the feather out of the hat and flung it across the
room. She wished to do it that afternoon every time she looked at the
other woman's roses against the smooth knot of her brown hair, and
that repressed impulse, with her alarm at Ellen's silence, had made
her almost hysterical. When Ellen's clear young voice rose and filled
the hall she calmed herself. Ellen had not folded back her first page
with a flutter of the white satin ribbons before people began to sit
straight and stare at each other incredulously. The subject of the
valedictory, as well as those of the other essays, had been allotted,
and Ellen's had been “Equality,” and she had written a
most revolutionary valedictory. Ellen had written with a sort of
poetic fire, and, crude as it all was, she might have had the
inspiration of a Shelley or a Chatterton as she stood there, raising
her fearless young front over the marshalling of her sentiments on
the smooth sheets of foolscap. Her voice, once started, rang out
clear and full. She had hesitated at nothing, she flung all castes
into a common heap of equality with her strong young arms, and she
set them all on one level of the synagogue. She forced the employer
and his employé to one bench of service in the grand system of
things; she gave the laborer, and the laborer only, the reward of
labor. As Ellen went on reading calmly, with the steadfastness of one
promulgating principles, not the excitement of one carried away by
enthusiasm, she began to be interrupted by applause, but she read on,
never wavering, her clear voice overcoming everything. She was quite
innocently throwing her wordy bomb to the agitation of public
sentiment. She had no thought of such an effect. She was stating what
she believed to be facts with her youthful dogmatism. She had no fear
lest the facts strike too hard. The school-master's face grew long
with dismay; he sat pulling his mustache in a fashion he had when
disturbed. He glanced uneasily now and then at Mr. Lloyd, and at
another leading manufacturer who was present. The other manufacturer
sat quite stolid and unsmiling beside a fidgeting wife, who presently
arose and swept out with a loud rustle of silks. She looked back once
and beckoned angrily to her husband, but he did not stir. He was on
the school-board. The school-master trembled when he saw that
imperturbable face of storing recollection before him. Mr. Lloyd
leaned towards Lyman Risley, who sat beside him and whispered and
laughed. It was quite evident that he did not consider the flight of
this little fledgling in the face of things seriously. But even he,
as Ellen's clearly delivered sentiments grew more and more
defined—almost anarchistic—became a little grave in spite
of the absurd incongruity between them and the girlish lips. Once he
looked in some wonder at the school-teacher as much as to say,
“Why did you permit this?” and the young man pulled his
mustache harder.</p>
<p>When Ellen finished and made her bow, such a storm of applause
arose as had never before been heard at a high-school exhibition. The
audience was for the most part composed of factory employés
and their families, as most of the graduates were of that class of
the community. Many of them were of foreign blood, people who had
come to the country expecting the state of things advocated in
Ellen's valedictory, and had remained more or less sullen and
dissenting at the non-fulfilment of their expectation. One tall
Swede, with a lurid flashing of blue eyes under a thick, blond
thatch, led the renewed charges of applause. Red spots came on his
cheeks, gaunt with high cheekbones; his cold Northern blood was up.
He stood upreared against a background of the crowd under the
balcony; he stamped when the applause died low; then it swelled again
and again like great waves. The Swede brandished his long arms, he
shouted, others echoed him. Even the women hallooed in a frenzy of
applause, they clapped their hands, they stood up in their seats.
Only a few sat silent and contemptuous through all the enthusiasm.
Thomas Briggs, the manufacturer, was one of them. He sat like a rock,
his great, red, imperturbable face of dissent fixed straight ahead.
Mrs. Lloyd clapped wildly, on account of the girl who had read the
valedictory. She had slept through the greater part of it, for it was
very warm, and the heat always made her drowsy. She kept leaning
towards Cynthia as she clapped, and asking in a loud whisper if she
wasn't sweet. Cynthia did not applaud, but her delicate face was pale
with emotion. Lyman Risley, beside her, was clapping energetically.
“She may have a bomb somewhere concealed among those ribbons
and frills,” he said to Lloyd when the applause was waxing
loudest, and Lloyd laughed.</p>
<p>As for Ellen, when the storm of applause burst at her feet, she
stood still for a moment bewildered. Then she bowed again and turned
to go, then the compelling uproar brought her back. She stood there
quite piteous in her confusion. This was too much triumph, and,
moreover, she had not the least idea of the true significance of it
all. She was like a chemist who had brought together, quite
ignorantly and unwittingly, the two elements of an explosive. She
thought that her valedictory must have been well done, that they
liked it, and that was all. She had no sooner finished reading than
the ushers began in the midst of the storm of applause to approach
the stage with her graduating presents. They were laden with great
bouquets and baskets of flowers, with cards conspicuously attached to
most of them. Cynthia Lennox had sent a basket of roses. Ellen took
it on her arm, and wondered when she saw the name attached to the
pink satin bow on the handle. She did not look again towards Cynthia
since the old impulse of concealment on her account came over her.
Ellen had great boxes of candy from her boy admirers, that being a
favorite token of young affection upon such occasions. She had a
gift-book from her former school-teacher, and a ninety-eight-cent
gilded vase from Eva and Amabel, who had been saving money to buy it.
She heard a murmur of admiration when she had finally reached her
seat, after the storm of applause had at last subsided, and she
unrolled the packages with trembling fingers.</p>
<p>“My, ain't that handsome!” said Floretta, pressing her
muslin-clad shoulder against Ellen's. “My, didn't they clap
you, Ellen! What's that in that package?”</p>
<p>The package contained Ellen's new watch and chain. Floretta had
already received hers, and it lay in its case on her lap. Ellen
looked at the package, not hearing in the least the Baptist minister
who had taken his place on the stage, and was delivering an address.
She had felt her aunt Eva's and Amabel's eager eyes on her when she
unrolled the gaudy vase; now she felt her father's and mother's. The
small, daintily tied package was inscribed “Ellen Brewster,
from Father and Mother.”</p>
<p>“Why don't you open it?” came in her ear from
Floretta. Maria was leaning forward also, over her lapful of
carnations which John Sargent had presented to her.</p>
<p>“Why don't she open it?” she whispered to Floretta.
They were all quite oblivious of the speaker, who moved nervously
back and forth in front of them, so screening them somewhat from the
observation of the audience. Still Ellen hesitated, looking at the
little package and feeling her father's and mother's eyes on her
face.</p>
<p>Finally she untied the cord and took out the jeweller's case from
the wrapping-paper. “My, you've got one too, I bet!”
whispered Floretta. Ellen opened the box, and gazed at her watch and
chain; then she glanced at her father and mother down in the
audience, and the three loving souls seemed to meet in an ineffable
solitude in the midst of the crowd. All three faces were
pale—Ellen's began to quiver. She felt Floretta's shoulder warm
through her thin sleeve against hers.</p>
<p>“My! you've got one—I said so,” she whispered.
“It isn't chased as much as mine, but it's real handsome. My,
Ellen Brewster, you ain't going to cry before all these
people!”</p>
<p>Ellen smiled against a sob, and she gave her head a defiant toss.
Down in the audience Fanny had her handkerchief to her eyes, and
Andrew sat looking sternly at the speaker. Ellen said to herself that
she would not cry—she would not, but she sat gazing down at her
flower-laden lap and the presents. The golden disk under her fixed
eyes waxed larger and larger, until it seemed to fill her whole
comprehension as with a golden light of a suffering, self-denying
love which was her best reward of life and labor on the earth.</p>
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