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Adventures of the Eleven Cuff-Buttons

<h2 class="caps">Chapter VI</h2> "Well, what's your name, stupid?" snapped Holmes, as a colorless-looking fellow with vacant eyes stood before us. "Ivan Galetchkoff. I was born in Tikhorietzkaia, Northern Caucasia, I work as second cook in the Earl's kitchen, and I can tell you just who stole his cuff-buttons; so I can!" "Well, this is interesting, if true," commented Holmes. "And whom do you accuse as the guilty miscreant, Ivan?" "I accuse that black scoundrel Vermicelli, the Earl's valet. Oh, how I hate him, with his smooth and slippery ways, and his air of superiority over me, because he helps the Earl on and off with his silk shirts, and I mix the hash in the kitchen!" replied Ivan. "Well, that's hardly valid ground for accusing him of the robbery,—don't you think?" said Holmes, smiling. "No; but I have other reasons, all right. Vermicelli is the guy who attends to the Earl in his bedroom, and he was the last man to see the diamond cuff-buttons as His Lordship retired Sunday night. Therefore, he certainly stole them. I guess it doesn't take a London [Pg 55] detective to dope that out. Why didn't you search his room the very first thing?" And Galetchkoff looked about him with an air of triumph. "Evidently this subject of the Czar didn't observe his object of suspicion going around with something shiny in his hand, as the others did. Call in the next boob," said Holmes. The Russian hash-mixer departed, and a very charming black-eyed señorita from sunny Spain stood before us. "What is your name, madam?" said Holmes, with some embarrassment, since, as I have observed before in the course of our mutual adventures, he was a confirmed bachelor, and didn't like women. "Teresa Olivano, from Seville, sir. I am Her Ladyship the Countess's maid, sir," she replied, with a bewitching smile at my misogynist friend. "Er, ah,—well, what do you know about the stolen cuff-buttons, if anything? Of course, I don't mean to insinuate that you had a hand in it." She smiled again, and replied: "I am quite sure that you will find the Earl's stolen jewelry upon the person or concealed in the room of Adelaide Meerckenloo, the second chambermaid. I happened to overhear her whispering to Natalie Nishovich, the first chambermaid, last night, about some 'diamonds,' and [Pg 56] they abruptly stopped talking, and acted greatly embarrassed, when I came into the room where they were." "Is that all you know about it?" said Holmes. "Well, I should think it was enough. That Adelaide is a regular old cat, and I am positive she stole the diamond cuff-buttons. If you don't want to take my word for it, then don't!" And the Spanish lady walked out with a toss of her head. "Everybody accuses everybody else. This is getting to be a joke," said Holmes, with a scowl at me, which was quite undeserved, as I hadn't been doing anything. "Bring in the next victim, the first chambermaid," he snapped. Eustace Thorneycroft, who had been acting as a sort of bailiff for Holmes's court of inquisition, now brought in a girl with the same sort of lack of intelligence on her face as had distinguished the Russian Galetchkoff. "What's your name, there?" said Holmes. "Natalie Nishovich, and I used to work in King Alexander of Servia's royal palace in Belgrade before his sudden death nine years ago." "Well, Natalie, have you seen the diamond cuff-buttons lying around loose anywhere?" "No, sir; but I have an idea that that conceited Spanish girl that just walked out of here stole them,—Teresa Olivano, I mean." [Pg 57] "Hum, have you overheard her talking about the diamonds, or is it just on general principles?" asked Holmes, as Tooter frowned severely at the chambermaid. "Just on general principles. I don't like her at all." "All right. Good-by. You've said enough. Call in the next one," ordered Holmes; adding: "They all seem to belong to the 'I-used-to-be' club. You certainly have combed the world looking for variegated characters, Earl. I suppose the next one will be a Chinaman or a Patagonian." But it wasn't; only a Belgian girl, with dark eyes that couldn't look Holmes straight in the face as he questioned her. "What's your name, previous place of employment, and opinion as to the present location of the stolen cuff-buttons?" "My name is Adelaide Meerckenloo, and I used to be maid to the late Queen of Belgium. I think the man who stole the Earl's diamonds is Peter Van Damm, Lord Launcelot's valet. He used to work for a diamond firm in Amsterdam, Holland; so he would know best how to dispose of them." "Which is about as good a reason for your suspicions as the others gave for theirs. You're excused, Addie. Next," said Holmes. "Well, you don't need to bite my head off about it," grumbled Addie, as she went out, [Pg 58] and her place was taken by a cheerful and rubicund coachman, the same one who had driven us up from the station the day before. "What's your name, antecedents, and knowledge as to the diamond-theft?" Holmes demanded. "Vell, Ay bane Olaf Yensen, from Aalesund, Norvay. Ay bane the Earl's first coachman. Und Ay suspect strongly that my partner out at das stables, Carol Linescu, sviped das Earl's cuff-buttons. Ay saw das rascal hiding someding in das hay up in the loft last evening, und Ay bet you, by Golly, that if you yump on him, you vill find that he is das tief. So!" And the fat little coachman looked around with a cherubic smile on his face. "All right, Yensie, maybe we will. You're excused. Next." The man who had just been accused of the robbery was now presented by the secretary. He formed a marked contrast to his partner,—being tall, dark and slender, with a hangdog expression on his face. "What's your name, and what have you got to say about the disappearance of the diamonds?" pursued the relentless inquisitor. "Carol Linescu. I used to run a livery stable in Bucharest, Roumania. The guy who stole the diamonds is that fat little loafer Olaf Yensen, the first coachman. I am the second coachman. He must be the guilty one because [Pg 59] last week he tried to swipe my best pair of boots while I was asleep." "Terrible, ain't it? Any other reason? No?—All right, Carol, beat it. Next! Now shoot 'em along quick, Thorney," Holmes said to the secretary, as the Roumanian went out, and a heavy-set man with blond hair, whose blue eyes blazed fiercely behind his spectacles, entered. "Your name, please. And what do you know about the diamonds?" "Heinrich Blumenroth, formerly of His Majesty the King of Bavaria's royal gardens at Munich, Germany. I don't know who stole the diamonds, but I can say that any one in the place is likely to have stolen them, except Harrigan, La Violette, and myself. We are the only three that are worth a darn. Nothing else, is there? I'd like to get back to the gardens. Very busy this morning." And the first gardener turned on his heel, whereupon Holmes remarked with a grin: "Sorry to have troubled you, Herr Blumenroth. You're all right. You're exonerated. Next!" A short and swarthy fellow entered, who looked like a bandit. "Well, what's your name, anyhow? Where did you drop from, and what do you know about this affair?" queried Holmes. "Demetrius Xanthopoulos. I am the second [Pg 60] gardener, and I used to work in the King of Greece's gardens at Corfu. I think that La Violette, the chef, is the man who stole the cuff-buttons. He's entirely too supercilious, and kicks me out of the kitchen every time I try to get in after a hand-out!" "All right. If I were Louis I'd do the same. Beat it. Next!" "Er, ah,——I beg pardon, Holmes, you have now examined all of the servants. Fourteen of them, you know," said Thorneycroft. "Oh, yes. That's right," said Holmes, as he consulted the list in his hand; "but you people here will have to be examined too,—every one of you. No excuses, now," he added, as the Earl started to object. "You hired me to find those stolen cuff-buttons, and by thunder, I'm going to find them, no matter who it hits! Thorneycroft, what do you know as to the probable guilty party?" The perspiration stood out on the secretary's bald head, and he stammered greatly as he replied: "Well, er,—ah, you know, that is——" "Come, come! Don't keep me waiting all day. Speak up." "Well, if you must know, I think that the Earl's Italian valet, Luigi Vermicelli, is the man. He was the last man near the cuff-buttons when the Earl retired Sunday night." "Yes, that's what Galetchkoff said. I should [Pg 61] think that you'd show greater originality than that, Eustace. Lord Launcelot, I shall have to question you as to your opinion on the robbery." "Well, I think that Pete Van Damm took 'em,—my valet, you know. Entirely too fresh, that fellow. Thinks he knows more than I do, bah Jove!" "Wouldn't be at all surprised if he did," muttered Holmes under his breath, adding aloud: "Mr. Tooter, you are the Countess's uncle, I believe. What do you know about the affair?" "Mr. Holmes, I don't like to say it, because he's an awfully good fellow, but between you and me, I think that Joe Harrigan, the butler, swiped the diamonds," answered the elderly man from India. "He gets pretty well soused sometimes, as I have observed, and you know that a man in that condition is likely to do almost anything." "Under the same principle, then, you may be guilty also, Uncle Tooter," interposed the Earl, "because you know blamed well that I've caught both you and Harrigan down in the wine-cellar many a time since you've been here. I guess that'll be about all from you." The India merchant subsided, and Holmes turned to Billie Hicks. "Mr. Hicks of Canada, what do you say about it?" "Unquestionably the guilty man is that Russian [Pg 62] scoundrel Ivan Galetchkoff," replied Hicks, "he put pepper in the charlotte russe at dinner on Sunday, and I nearly choked on it. A man who would do that would steal sheep!" "Well, Mr. Budd of Australia, we'll hear from you," said Holmes, as he stretched out his arms and yawned. "Sorry as I am to say it, Mr. Holmes, there stands the guilty wretch!" and Mr. Budd pointed dramatically at the fidgeting and uneasy Thorneycroft. "I saw him come out of the Earl's room late Sunday night at an hour when all good citizens should be in bed." "You're entirely mistaken, Budd, I assure you," said Thorneycroft nervously. "I am as innocent as you are, and you know it. I just went into His Lordship's room Sunday night to get my pocket-comb." Holmes grinned as he looked at the secretary's more or less bald pate, and said: "I don't see what you want with a comb, Thorney. But we'll give your alibi due consideration, nevertheless. Well, I guess I've questioned everybody in the castle now, Your Lordship, including the mutual admiration society formed by Harrigan, La Violette and Blumenroth." And Holmes turned an inquiring countenance to the Earl. "Er, well, not exactly, Holmes. You haven't [Pg 63] interrogated the Countess and myself," smiled the Earl. "By George, that's right! Here, somebody, get the Countess in here." In a moment the mistress of Normanstow Towers stood before us. She gave a sniff of disdain as she looked at her brother-in-law, Lord Launcelot. "I beg pardon, Your Ladyship, but what do you know concerning this sad affair?" asked Holmes politely,—that is to say, politely for him. The Countess regarded Launcelot with a frown, as she replied: "I am practically certain that the man who has brought this disgrace upon our ancient family is Lord Launcelot, the Earl's own brother. He was entirely in too much of a hurry to get away from here yesterday morning to rush into London to tell you about it. He did it just to cover up his own theft." "These family jars do beat the dickens," said Holmes, scratching his head in perplexity, while the Countess sailed out of the room, very much on her dignity. "Your Lordship, what's your own opinion as to the robbery?" "Oh, good night! Don't ask me. I give it up. Let's all have a drink, and then adjourn somewhere else. The air is getting kind of close in here, after all these hot accusations. Harrigan," the Earl added, turning to the butler, [Pg 64] who had just returned from the corridor, "pour us out one or two glasses of wine, or three or four of them. Drink up, gentlemen,—you, too, Letstrayed." And the Earl winked at me. <hr class="chapbreak" /> [Pg 65] <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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