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<br/>
<h2> CHAPTER VII. </h2>
<p>“Boots and Saddles”—“I am the Colonel's Orderly”—Riding<br/>
Fifty Miles on an Empty Stomach—The Chaplain Appears—I am<br/>
Wounded by a Locomotive and a Piece of Coal—I Nearly Kill<br/>
an Old Man.<br/></p>
<p>When our foraging party got back to camp, and I unloaded the corn fodder
from my horse, I was about as disgusted with war as a man could be. The
faces of those people I had met at the plantation rose up before me, and I
could imagine how they would look when they heard that the Confederate
soldier who was their all, was dead. I hoped that they would never hear of
it. While I was thinking the matter over, and grooming my horse, the
chaplain came along and took nearly all the fodder I had brought in, and
fed it to his horse, and asked me where the chickens and hams, and sweet
potatoes were. I told him I didn't get any. Then he spoke very plainly to
me, plainer than he had ever spoken before, and told me that fodder for
horses was not all that soldiers got when they went out foraging. He said
I wanted to snatch anything that was lying around loose, that could be
eaten. I asked him if the government did not furnish rations enough for
him to live comfortably, in addition to the sanitary stores. He said
sometimes he yearned for chicken. Then I told him his salary was
sufficient to buy such luxuries. He was hot, and talked back to me, and
told me he didn't propose to be lectured by no red-headed private as to
his duties, or his conduct, and he wanted me to understand that I was
expected to forage for him as well as myself, and not to let another
soldier come into camp with a better assortment of the luxuries afforded
by the country, than I did. He said that he picked me out as a man that
would fill the bill, and do his duty. I told him if he had selected me
from all the men in the regiment as being the most expert sneak thief, he
had made a mistake, and I would be teetotally d——d if I would
go through the country stealing hens and chickens for any chaplain that
ever lived, and he could put that in his pipe and smoke it. It was pretty
sassy talk for a private soldier to indulge in towards a chaplain, but I
was so disgusted to hear a man who should discountenance anything
unsoldierly, talk so flippantly about taking from the women and children
of the country what little they had to live on, because we had the power,
their men folks being away in the army, that I got on my ear, as it were.
I told him that I was not much mashed on war, and hoped I would never have
to fire a gun at a human being, but now that I was into the business, I
would fight if I had to, or do any duty of a soldier, but I would be
cussed if I would rob henroosts, and he didn't weigh enough to compel me
to. Then he said I could go back to my company, as he didn't want a man
around him that hadn't sand enough to do his duty. I asked him if I hadn't
better wait till after supper, it being after dark, but he said I could go
right away, and he would have another man detailed to take my place. I was
discharged, because I struck against stealing hens. I saddled my horse,
took my share of the fodder, and started for my company to return to duty
as a soldier. On the way to my company I saw a half a dozen soldiers,
covered with mud, and their horses covered with foam, ride up to the
colonel's tent, and I stopped to see what was the matter. A sergeant gave
the colonel a dispatch, which he tore open, read it, looked excited, and
then he turned to 'me and said, “Ride to every commanding officer of a
company and say with my compliments, that 'Boots and Saddles' will be
sounded in ten minutes, and every man must be in line, mounted, within
five minutes after the call is sounded, then come back here.” Well, I was
about as excited as the colonel, and I rode to every captain's tent and
gave the command. Some of the captains, who were just sitting down to
supper, asked, “What you giving us,” thinking it was some foolishness on
my part. One captain said if I came around with any more such orders he
would run a saber through me and turn it around a few times; another said
to his lieutenant, “That is the chaplains idiot, that the boys play jokes
on; some corporal has probably told him to carry that message.”</p>
<p>I got all around the companies, and went back to the colonel, and told him
that I had delivered his invitation, but the most of the captains sent
regrets in one way and another, and one was going to jab me with a saber.
He called the bugler, and told him to blow “Boots and Saddles,” and in
five minutes to sound, “To Horse;” then he turned to me and said, “You
will be my orderly tonight, and you will have the liveliest ride you ever
experienced. Buckle up your saddle girth and lead my horse out here.” I
told the colonel I should have to buckle up my own belt a few holes, as I
hadn't had any supper, when he told his servant to bring me out what was
left of his supper, which he did, one small hard tack. I eat pretty
hearty, and let my horse fill himself all he could on corn stalks, and in
a short time the bugle calls were echoing through the woods, men were
saddling up and mounting, and picking up camp utensils in the dark, and
swearing some at being ordered out in that unceremonious manner when they
had got all ready to have a night's rest. There was not near as much
swearing as I had supposed there would be, but there was enough. The
chaplain came rushing up to where I was with his coat off, and asked me
what was the matter, and the colonel having gone to the major's tent, I
answered him that we were going to have the liveliest ride he ever
experienced, and not to forget it, and that probably before morning we
would have the biggest fight of the season.</p>
<p>“Come and help me catch my horse,” said the chaplain, “I turned him loose
so he could roll over, and he has stampeded.”</p>
<p>“Go catch your own horse,” said I with lofty dignity, “and steal your own
chickens. I am serving on the start of the commanding officer, sir. I am
the colonel's orderly.”</p>
<p>I thought that would break the chaplain all up, but it didn't. “The devil
you say,” remarked the chaplain, as he went off in the darkness, whistling
for his horse. Gentle reader, did you ever ride on horseback fifty miles
in one night, on an empty stomach, after having ridden thirty miles during
the day? If you never have accomplished such a feat, you don't know
anything about suffering. O, to this day I can feel my stomach freeze
itself to my backbone. We started soon after orders were given on a
gallop, and if we walked our horses a minute during the whole night, I did
not know it. We marched by “fours,” but I had the whole road to myself, as
I rode behind the colonel. I wanted to know where we were going and what
for, and once, when the colonel fell back to where I was, while he was
taking a drink out of a canteen, I said, “This is a little sudden, ain't
it?” My idea was to draw him out, and get him to tell me all about the
destination of the expedition, and its object. The colonel got through
drinking, and as he knocked the cork into the canteen, he said, “Yes, this
<i>is</i> a little spry.” That was all he said, and evidently he wanted me
to draw my own inference, which I did. Pretty soon the orderly sergeant of
the company that was on the advance, directly behind the colonel, rode up
to me and asked me if I had any idea where we were going. He said he had
seen me talking with the colonel, and thought maybe he had told me the
programme. He added that he thought it was a shame that men couldn't be
allowed a little rest. I told him that I had just been talking with the
colonel about it, but I had no authority to communicate what he said.
However, I would assure the orderly that we were going to have the
liveliest ride he ever experienced. I knew I was safe in saying that, and
the orderly remarked that he had about come to that conclusion himself,
and he left me. I had never expected to rise, on pure merit, to that proud
position of colonel's orderly, and I made up my mind if that night's ride
did not founder me, or drive my spine up into the top of my hat, or glue
the two sides of my empty stomach together, so they would never come
apart, that I would try to conduct myself so that the commanding officers
would all cry for me and want me on their starts. I argued, to myself, as
we rode along, that the position of colonel's orderly could not be so very
unsafe, as it did not stand to reason that a colonel would go into any
place that was particularly dangerous, as long as he could send other
officers. I knew that colonels in action should ride behind their
regiments, and wondered if this colonel knew his place, or would he be
fool enough to go right ahead of his men? I was going to speak to him
about it, if we ever stopped galloping long enough, but everything was
jarred out of my head.</p>
<p>A fellow can think of a good many things, riding on a gallop at night, and
I guess I thought of about everything that night. There were few
interruptions of the march. There were about four stops, two being caused
by horses falling down and being run over by those behind them, and two by
carbines going off accidentally. One man was dismounted and run over by
half the horses in the regiment, and when he was pulled out from under the
horses he asked for a chew of tobacco, and saying he was marked for life
by horse shoes, he kicked his horse in the ribs for falling down, climbed
on and said the procession might move on. He was all cut to pieces by
horse's hoofs, but he was full of fight the next morning. Another soldier
had his big toe shot off by the accidental discharge of a carbine, and
when the regiment stopped, and the colonel asked him if he wanted to stop
there and wait for an ambulance to overtake him, he said, not if there is
going to be a fight. I don't use a big toe much, anyway, and if there is a
fight ahead, I want to be there, if I haven't got a toe left on my feet.
The colonel smiled and said, all right, boy. I never saw fellows who were
so anxious to fight, and I wondered how much money it would take to induce
me to go into a fight when I was crippled up enough to be excused. Along
toward morning everybody felt that we were so far into the enemy's lines
that there must be some object in the long ride, and the probabilities of
a fight seemed to be settled in every man's mind. Up hill and down we
galloped, until it seemed to me I should fall off my horse and die. About
half an hour before daylight the command was halted, and the officers of
each company were sent for, and they surrounded the colonel, separated
from the men, and he said: “There is a town ahead, about four miles,
garrisoned by confederate troops. We are to charge it at daylight, drive
the enemy out the other side of town, kill as many as possible, and when
they go out they will be attacked by another Union regiment that has been
sent around to the rear. There is a railroad there, and a bridge across a
river, Confederate stores of ammunition, provisions, cotton, etc. The
stores are to be burned, the railroad bridge destroyed, the track torn up,
engines, if there are any, are to be ditched, and everything destroyed
except private residences. You understand?” The officers said they did,
and they went back to their companies and ordered the men to get a bite to
eat. When the officers had gone I was pretty scared, and I said, “Colonel,
suppose the rebels do not get out of that town.” The colonel was chewing a
hard-tack when he answered. Daylight was just streaking up from the East,
and he held a piece of the hard-tack up to the light to pick a worm out of
it, after which he answered: “If they don't get out, we will, those of us
who are not killed. I always like to eat hard-tack in the dark, then I
can't see the worms.” To say that I was reassured would be untrue. I
admired a man who could mingle business with pleasure, as he did when
talking of possible death and worms in hard-tack, but death was never an
interesting subject to me. I wanted to talk with the colonel more, and
asked him if colonels often get killed, and if an orderly was exactly safe
in his immediate vicinity, but he leaned against a tree and went to sleep,
and I stood near, as wide awake as any man ever was. I wondered whose idea
it was to send us fifty miles into the Confederacy to destroy provisions
and railroads.</p>
<p>Did they suppose the Confederates didn't want anything to eat. I thought
it was a mean man or government that would burn up good wholesome
provisions because they couldn't eat them themselves. And who owned this
railroad that was going to be torn up? Why burn a bridge that probably
cost several hundred thousand dollars. As I was thinking these things over
and finding fault with the persons responsible for such foolishness, the
chaplain, who had not showed up during the night, came up to where I was,
without any hat, leading his horse, which was lame. The first thing he
asked me how I would trade horses. They all wanted my Jen, but he was not
in the market. The chaplain said he had caught up with the regiment about
midnight, and had rode at the rear, with the horse-doctor. He said this
expedition was foolish, and had no object except to try the endurance of
the horses and men. I told him that we were going to have a fight in less
than an hour, and burn a town, and probably we would all be killed. The
chaplain turned pale and looked faint.</p>
<p>I had read about hell, and seen pictures of it, from the imagination of
some eminent artist, but the hell I had read of, and seen pictured, was
not a marker to the experience of the next three hours. In a few minutes
the colonel woke up, and the regiment mounted and moved on. An advance
guard was put further out than before, with orders to charge the rebel
picket almost into town, and then hold up for the rest of us. As we neared
the town it was just light enough to see. The advance captured the picket
post without a shot being fired, and moved right into town, followed by
the regiment, and we actually rode right into the camp of the boys in
gray, and woke them up by firing. They scattered, coatless and shoeless,
firing as they ran, and in five minutes they were all captured, killed,
gone out of town, or were in hiding in the buildings. Then began the
conflagration. Immense buildings, filled with goods, or bales of cotton,
were fired, and soon the black smoke and falling walls made a scene that
was enough to set a recruit crazy. A train came in just as the fire was at
its greatest, and a squad of men was sent to burn it, and the colonel told
me to go and capture the engineer and bring him to the headquarters.</p>
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<p>I rode up as near to the engine as my horse would go and told the engineer
I wanted him. He turned a cock somewhere, and a jet of steam came out
towards me that fairly blinded me and the horse, and I couldn't see the
engine any more. My horse turned tail, the engineer threw a lump of coal
and hit me on the head, and I went away and told the colonel the engineer
wouldn't come, and beside had scalded me with steam, and hit me with a
lump of coal. The colonel said the engineer could be arrested for such
conduct. Pretty soon the train was on fire, and one of our boys clubbed
the engineer, got on the engine and run it on to a side track and ditched
it, and brought the engineer up to headquarters, where I had quite a talk
with him about squirting steam and throwing lumps of coal at peaceable
persons. Then the railroad, bridge was set on fire, and it looked cruel to
see the timbers licked up by flames, but when the burning trestle fell
into the river below, it was a grand, an awful sight. I came out of the
fight alive, but with a lump on my head as big as a hen's egg, so big I
couldn't wear my hat, and a firm determination to whip that engineer who
threw the lump of coal when I could catch him alone. We cooked a late
breakfast on the embers of the ruins, and after eating, I noticed a sign,
“Printing Office,” in front of a residence just outside the burnt
district, and asked permission to go there and print a paper, with an
account of the fight, and the destruction of the town. Permission was
granted, and I went to the office and found an old man and two daughters,
beautiful girls, but intensely bitter rebels. The old man was near eighty
years old, and he said he could whip any dozen yankees. I told him I would
like to use his type and press, but he said if I touched a thing I did it
at my peril, as he should consider the type contaminated by the touch of a
yankee. The girls felt the same way, but I talked nice to them, and they
didn't kick much when I took a “stick” and began to set type. I worked
till dinner time, when they asked me to take dinner with them, which I
did. During the conversation I convinced them that I was practically a
non-combatant, and wouldn't hurt anybody for the world. I worked till
about the middle of the afternoon, when I noticed that the girls, who had
been up on the house, looked tickled about something, and presently I
heard some firing at the edge of the town, some yelling, more firing,
bugle calls among our soldiers, and finally there was an absence of blue
coats, and I looked for my horse, and found the old man leading him away.
I halted the old man, and he stopped and told me that the Confederates had
come into town from the East and driven our cavalry out on the other side,
and I would be a prisoner in about five minutes, and he laughed, and the
girls clapped their hands, and I felt as though my time had come. I had
never killed an old man in my life, but I made up my mind to have my horse
or kill him in his traces, so I drew my revolver and told him to let go
the horse or he was a dead man. It was a question with me whether I could
hold my hand still-enough to kill him, if he didn't let go the horse, and
I hoped to heaven he would drop the bridle. He looked so much like my
father at home that it seemed like killing a near relative, and when I
looked at the two beautiful daughters on the gallery, looking at us, pale
as death, I almost felt as though it would be better to lose the horse and
be captured, then to put a bullet through the gray head of that beautiful
old man. How I wished that he was a young fellow, and had a gun, and had
it pointed at me. Then I could kill him and feel as though it was
self-defense. But the rebels were yelling and firing over the hill, and my
regiment was going the other way on important business, and it was a
question with me whether I should kill the old man, and see his life-blood
ebb out there in front of his children, or be captured, and perhaps shot
for burning buildings. I decided that it was my duty to murder him, and
get my horse. So I rested my revolver across my left forearm, and took
deliberate aim at his left eye, a beautiful, large, expressive gray eye,
so much like my father's at home that I almost imagined I was about to
kill the father who loved me. I heard, a scream on the gallery, and the
blonde girl fainted in the arms of her brunette sister. The sister said to
me, “Please don't kill my father.” He was not ten feet from me, and I
said, “Drop the horse or you die.” The old man trembled, the girl said:
“Pa, give the man his horse,” the old man dropped the bridle and walked
towards the house. I mounted the horse and rode off towards the direction
my regiment had taken, thanking heaven that the girl had spoken just in
time, and that I had not been compelled to put a bullet through that
noble-looking gray head. The face haunted me all the way, as I rode along
to catch my regiment, and when I overtook it, and rode up to the colonel,
and asked him what in thunder he wanted to go off and leave me to fight
the whole southern Confederacy for, he said, “O, get out! There were no
rebels there. That was the Indiana regiment that started out day before
yesterday, to get on the other side of the town. The fellows were shooting
some cattle for food. What makes you look-so pale?” I was thinking of
whether a man ever prospered who killed old people.</p>
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