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<h2> CHAPTER X. </h2>
<p>Yearnings for Military Fame—What I Want is a Chance—I Feel<br/>
I Could Crush the Rebellion—My Chance Arrives—I am<br/>
Crushed—The Rebellion Remains Pretty Well.<br/></p>
<p>As I could get no one to accept my resignation as corporal, which I
tendered after my first service in that capacity, unloading a steamboat, I
decided to post myself as to the duties of the position, so I borrowed a
copy of “Hardee's Tactics,” and studied a good deal. Every place in the
book that mentioned the word “corporal,” had a particular and thrilling
interest for me, and I soon got so it would have been easy for me to have
done almost anything that a corporal would have to do. But I was not
contented to study the duty of a corporal. I read about the “school of the
company,” and the “school of the regiment,” and “battalion drills,” and
everything, until I could handle a regiment, or a brigade, for that
matter, as well as any officer in the army, in my mind. This led me to go
farther, and I borrowed a copy of a large blue book the colonel had, the
name of which I do not remember now, but it was all military, and told how
to conduct a battle successfully. I studied that book until I got the
thing down so fine that I could have fought the battle of Gettysburg
successfully, and I longed for a chance to show what I knew about military
science and strategy. It seemed wonderful to me that one small red-head
could contain so much knowledge about military affairs, and I felt a pity
for some officers I knew who never had studied at all, and did not know
anything except what they had picked up. I fought battles in my mind, day
and night. Some nights I would lay awake till after midnight, planning
campaigns, laying out battle-fields, and marching men against the enemy,
who fought stubbornly, but I always came out victorious, and then I would
go to sleep and dream that the President and secretary of war had got on
to me, as it were, and had offered me high positions, and I would wake up
in the morning the same red-headed corporal, and cook my breakfast.
Sometimes I thought it my duty to inform the government, in some round
about way, what a bonanza the country had in me, if my talent could only
be utilized by placing me where I would have a chance to distinguish
myself, and bring victory to our arms. I reflected that Grant, and
Sherman, and Sheridan, and all of the great generals, were once corporals,
and by study they had risen.</p>
<p>There was not one of them that could dream out a battle, and a victory any
better that I could. All I wanted was a chance. Just give me men enough,
and turn me loose in the Southern Confederacy, with that head of mine, and
the result would be all an anxious nation could desire.</p>
<p>My first chance came sooner than I expected. The next day a part of the
regiment went out on a scout, to be gone a couple of days, and my company
was along. I was unusually absorbed in thought, and wondered if I would be
given a chance to do anything. It seemed reasonable that if any corporal
was sent out with a squad of men, to fight, it would be an old corporal,
while if there was any duty that was menial, the new corporals would get
it. The second day out we stopped at noon to let our horses rest, when
little scouting parties that had been sent out on different roads during
the forenoon, began to come in. Many of them had picked up straggling
rebels, and brought them to damp, and they were carefully guarded, and the
major, who was in command of our party, was asking them questions, and
pumping them to find out all he could. I went over and looked at them, and
they were quite a nice looking lot of fellows, some being officers, with
plenty of gold lace on their gray suits. They were home from the
Confederate army on a leave of absence, probably recruiting. After talking
with a rebel officer for a time the major turned to the adjutant and said,
“send me a corporal and ten men.” The adjutant started, on, and I followed
him. I used to know the adjutant when he taught a district school, before
the war, and I asked him as a special favor to let me be the corporal. He
said the detail would be from my company, and if I could fix it with the
orderly sergeant of my company it was all right. I rushed to my company
and found the orderly, and got him to promise if there was a detail from
the company that day, I could go. Before the words were out of his mouth
the detail came, and in five minutes I reported to the major with ten men.
The major simply told me that a certain rebel captain, from Lee's army,
was reported to be at home, and his plantation was about four miles east,
and he described it to me. He told me to ride out there, surround the
house, capture the captain, and bring him into camp.</p>
<p>No general ever received his orders in regard to fighting a battle, with a
feeling of greater pride and responsibililty than I did my orders to
capture that rebel. We started out, and then for the first time I noticed
that there was another corporal in the squad with, me, and at once it
occurred to me that he might claim a part of the glory of capturing the
rebel. I had heard of the jealousy existing between generals, and how the
partisans of different generals filled the newspapers, after a battle,
with accounts of the part taken by their favorites, and that the accounts
got so mixed, up that the reader couldn't tell to whom the credit of
success was due, and I decided to take prompt measure with this
supernumerary corporal, who had evidently got in by mistake, so I told him
he might go back to the regiment. He said he guessed not. He had been
detailed to go on the scout, and he was going, if he knew himself, and he
thought he did. He said when it come right down to rank, he was an older
corporal than I was, and could take command of the squad if he wanted to.
I told him he was mistaken as to his position. That if the major had
wanted him to take charge of the expedition, he would have given him the
instructions, but as the major had given me the instructions, in a low
tone of voice, nobody but myself knew where we were going or what we were
going for, and that I was responsible, and the first intimation I had from
him that he wanted to mutiny, or relieve me from my command, I would have
him shot at once. I told him he could go along, but he must keep his mouth
shut, and obey orders. He said he would obey, if he felt like it. We moved
on, and I would have given a month's pay if that corporal had not been
there. In a short time we were in sight of the house, and at a cross road
I told the corporal to take one man and stop there, until further orders,
and if any rebel came along, to capture him. He was willing enough to stay
there, because there was a patch, of musk melons just over the fence. I
moved my remaining eight men to a high piece of ground near the house, and
halted, to look over the field of battle. Pulling a spy glass from my
pocket, which I had borrowed from the sutler, I surveyed, as near like a
general as possible, the situation. On one side of the house was a ravine,
which I decided must be held at all hazards, and after studying my copy of
tactics a moment, I sent an Irishman over there to hold the key to the
situation, and told him he might consider himself the Iron Brigade. The
lay of the ground reminded me much of pictures I had seen of the battle of
Bull Run, and the road on which I had left the corporal and one man, was
the road to Washington, on which we would retreat, if overcome by the
enemy. To the right of the ravine, which was held by the Iron Brigade, I
noticed a hen-house with a gate leading back to the nigger quarters, and I
called a soldier and told him to make a detour behind a piece of woods,
and at a signal from me, the waving of my right arm, to charge directly to
the gate of the hen-house, and hold it against any force that might
attempt to carry it, and to let no guilty man escape. Fifteen years
afterwards Gen. Grant used those self-same words, “Let no guilty man
escape,” and they became historic, but I will take my oath I was the first
commander to use the words, when I sent that man to hold the gate of the
hen-house. That man I denominated the First Division. Farther to the right
was a field of sweet potatoes, in which was a colored man digging the
potatoes. I sent a Dutchman to hold that field, with their right resting
on the left of the First Division, located at the gate of the hen-house,
whose right was supposed to rest on the left of the Iron Brigade, the
Irishman who commanded the ravine. Then I turned my attention to the left
of the battle-field, placed one man at the milk-house, with his left
resting on the right of the Irishman, and a man at the smoke-house. This
left three men, one of whom I appointed an aid de camp, one an orderly and
the other I held as a reserve, at a cotton gin. When I had got my army
into position, I sat under a tree and reflected a little, and concluded
that the Iron Brigade was in rather too exposed a position, so I sent my
aid de camp to order the Iron Brigade to move forward, under cover of the
ravine, and take a position behind a mule-shed. The aide soon returned and
reported that the Iron Brigade had taken off his shirt and kanoodled a
negro woman to wash it for him, and would not be able to move until the
shirt was dry.</p>
<p>This altered my plans a little, but I was equal to the emergency, and
ordered my reserve to make a detour and take the mule-shed, and hold it
until relieved by the Iron Brigade, which would be as soon as his shirt
was dry, and then to report to me on the field. Then I took my aide and
orderly, and galloped around the lines, to see that all was right. I found
that the First Division, holding the gate of the hen-house, was well in
hand, though he had killed five chickens, and had them strapped on his
saddle, and was trying to cut off the head of another with his sabre. He
said he thought I said to let no guilty hen escape. I found the Iron
Brigade dismounted, his shirt hung on a line to dry, and the colored woman
had been pressed into the Federal service, and was frying a chicken for
the Brigade. I told him to get his shirt on as soon as it was dry, and
move by forced marches, to relieve the force holding the mule-shed, and
the Iron Brigade said he would as soon as he had his dinner. I found the
Division composed of the Dutchman, stubbornly holding the sweet-potato
field, and he was eating some boiled ham and corn-bread he had sent the
nigger to the house after, and he had a bushel of sweet-potatoes in a sack
strapped to his saddle. The force at the milk-house had a fine position,
and gave me a pitcher of butter-milk, which I drank with great gusto. I do
not know as there is anything in butter-milk that is stimulating, but
after drinking it my head seemed clearer, and I could see the whole
battle-field, and anticipate each movement I should cause to be made. I
was so pleased with the butter-milk, on the eve of battle, that I ordered
the second Division to fill my canteen with it, which he did. Then I rode
back to my headquarters, where I started from, having ridden clear around
the beleaguered plantation. Presently the reserve returned to me and
reported that he had been relieved by the Iron Brigade at the mule-shed,
whose shirt had become dry, and who had given the reserve a leg of fried
chicken, and a corn dodger. I took the leg of chicken away from my
reserve, eat it with great relish, and prepared for the onslaught, the
reserve picking some persimmons off a tree and eating them for lunch. I
was about to order the different divisions and brigades of my army to
advance from their different positions, and close in on the enemy, when a
colored man came out of the house and moved toward me, signalling that he
would fain converse with me. I struck a dignified attitude, by throwing my
right leg over the pommel of the saddle, like a hired girl riding a
plow-horse to town after a doctor, and waited. When he came up to me, he
said, “Massa wants to know what all dis darn foolishness is about. He says
if you all don't go away from here he will shoot de liver outen you all.”
I told the negro to be calm, and not cause me to resort to extreme
measures, and I asked him if his master was at home. He said he was, and
he was a bad man wid a gun. He had killed plenty of men before the war,
and since the war he had killed more Yankees than enough to build a
rail-fence around the plantation. I did not exactly like the reports in
regard to the enemy. I told the colored man to take a flag of truce to his
master, and tell him I would like an interview. The colored man went to
the house, and I sent for the Iron Brigade to report to me at once, in
light marching order, and the Irishman came riding up without any shirt
on. I caused the Brigade to put on his shirt, when I sent him to the
house, to follow the nag of truce and feel of the enemy. He went to the
house, and was evidently invited in, for he disappeared. I waited half an
hour for him, and as he did not show up, I called the Second Division, and
sent the Dutchman to the house. The Second Division went in, and did not
come out. I ordered the whole right wing of my army to deploy to my
support, and the fellow at the hen-house gate came, and I sent him in
after the Irishman and the Dutchman. He didn't come back, and I sent an
orderly after the force stationed at the milk-house, and he came, and I
sent him, with the same result. It was evident I was frittering away my
command, with no good result, so I looked at my tactics, and decided to
hold a council of war. My aide, orderly, and reserve, three besides
myself, composed the council of war. We three were in favor of ordering up
the other corporal and man from the cross-roads, but I opposed it. I did
not want the other corporal to have any finger in the pie. So I decided
that the four of us would go in a body to the house and demand the
surrender of the rebel captain. We rode down the lane where the other men
had gone, and it was a question whether we ever came back alive. I thought
they had a trap door in the house, which probably let the soldiers down
suddenly into a dungeon. Certainly unless there was something of the kind
my men would have come back. As we dismounted at the door; and walked up
the steps, the door opened and a fine looking rebel officer appeared
smiling.</p>
<p>“Come in, Captain, with your men, and join me in a glass of wine,” said
the rebel.</p>
<p>I had never been called “Captain” before, and it touched me in a tender
spot. The rebel evidently thought I looked like a captain, and I was
proud. He had probably watched my maneuvers, and the way I handled my men,
and thought I was no common soldier.</p>
<p>“Well, I don't care if I do,” said I, and we walked into a splendid old
room, and were bidden to be seated.</p>
<p>“Hello, Corp,” said my Iron Brigade, as he took his legs down from a
table, and poured out a glass of whisky from a bottle near him, “This is
the divil's own place for an aisy life.”</p>
<p>“Gorporal,” said my Dutch fellow soldier, as he poured out a glass of
schnapps, “Led me indroduce you mit dot repel. He is a tasy, und don'd you
forgot aboud it. Mishder repel, dot ish der gorporal fun my gumpany.”</p>
<p>The rebel smiled and said he was glad to see me, and hoped I was well, and
would I take wine, or something stronger. I took a small glass of wine,
but the rest of the fellows took strong drink, and my Iron Brigade was
already full, and the Dutchman was getting full rapidly. Finally I told
the rebel officer that I did not like to accept a man's hospitality when I
had such an unpleasant duty to perform as to arrest him, but circumstances
seemed to make it necessary. He said that was all right. In times of war
we must do many things that were unpleasant. We took another drink, and
then I told him I was sorry to inconvenience him, but he would have to
accompany me to camp. He said certainly, he had expected to be captured
ever since he saw that the house was surrounded, and while at first he had
made up his mind to take his rifle and kill us all from the gallery of the
house, he had thought better of it, and would surrender without bloodshed.
What was the use of killing any more men? The war was nearly over, and why
not submit, and save carnage. I told him that was the way I felt about it.
Then he said if I would wait until he retired to an adjoining room and
changed his linen, he would be ready. I said of course, certainly, and he
went out of a door. I waited about half an hour, until it seemed to me the
rebel had had time to change all the linen in the state of Alabama. The
Iron Brigade had gone to sleep on a lounge, and the German troop was full
as a goat, and some of the others were beginning to feel the hospitality.</p>
<p>“I beg your pardon for intruding,” said I, as I opened the door and walked
into the room the rebel had entered. “Great Scott, he is gone!”</p>
<p>My army, all except the Iron Brigade and the Dutchman, followed me, and
the room was empty. A window was up, through which he had escaped. We
searched the house, but there was no rebel captain. On going to the front
door I found that the horse belonging to the iron brigade was gone, and
that the saddle girths of all the other horses had been unbuckled, so we
would be delayed in following him. The Irishman was awakened, and when he
found his horse was gone, he sobered up and went to the pasture and
borrowed a mule to ride.</p>
<p>It took us half an hour to fix our saddles, so we could ride, and then we
sadly started for camp. How could I face the major, and report to him that
I had met the rebel captain, talked with him, drank with him, enjoyed his
hospitality, and then let him escape? I felt that my military career had
come to an inglorious ending. “We rode slow, because the Iron Brigade was
insecurely mounted on a slippery bare-backed mule. As we neared the
corporal and one man, that I had left to guard the cross-roads, I noticed
that there was a stranger with them, and on riding closer what was my
surprise to find that it was the rebel captain, under arrest. So the
confounded corporal, whom I had left there so he would be out of the way,
and not get any of the glory of capturing the rebel, had captured him, and
got <i>all</i> the glory. I was hurt, but putting on a bold military air,
like a general who has been whipped, I said:</p>
<p>“Ah, corporal, I see my plan has worked successfully. I arranged it so
this prisoner would run right into the trap.”</p>
<p>“Yes,” said the corporal, throwing away a melon rind that he had been
chewing the meat off of, “I saw his nibs coming down the road, and I
thought may be he was the one you wanted, so I told him to halt or I would
fill his lungs full of lead pills, and he said he guessed he would halt.
He said it was a nice day, and he was only trying one of the Yankee
cavalry horses, to see how he liked it.” “Here, you murdherin' divil, get
down aff that harse,” said the Iron Brigade, who had got awake enough to
see that the rebel was on his horse. “Take this mule, and lave a dacent
gintleman's harse alone.”</p>
<p>The rebel smiled, dismounted, gave the Irishman his horse, mounted the
mule, and we started for camp. I was never so elated in my life as I was
when I rode into camp with that rebel captain beside me on the mule. The
object of the expedition had been accomplished, a little different, it is
true, from what I had expected and planned, but who knew that it was not a
part of my plan to have it turn out as it did? I reflected much, and
wondered if it was right for me to report the capture of the Confederate
and say nothing about the part played by the other corporal. That corporal
was no military strategist, like me. It was just a streak of luck, his
capturing the rebel. He was leaning against the fence where I left him,
eating melons, and the rebel came along, and the corporal quit chewing
melon long enough to obey my orders and arrest the fellow. By all rules of
military law I was entitled to the credit, and I would take it, though it
made me ashamed to do so. How-ever, generals did the same thing. If a
major-general was in command, and ordered a brigadier-general to do a
thing and it was a success, the major-general got the credit in the
newspapers. So I rode into camp and turned my prisoner over to the major
as modestly as possible, with a few words of praise of my gallant command.
Hello, Jim, said the major to the rebel.</p>
<p>Hello, Maje, said the rebel.</p>
<p>“Better take off them togs now, and join your company, said the major.</p>
<p>“I guess so,” said the rebel, and he took off his rebel uniform, and the
major handed him a blue coat and pair of pants, and he put them on.</p>
<p>I was petrified. The fact was, the rebel was a sergeant in our regiment,
who had been detailed as a scout, and had been making a trip into the
rebel lines as a spy. I had made an ass of myself in the whole business,
and he would tell all the boys about it. I went back to my company
crushed.</p>
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