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<h2> CHAPTER XVII. </h2>
<p>Thanksgiving Dinner with the “Rebel Angel”—She Gives Me a<br/>
World of Good Advice—Can an Officer be Detailed To Go And<br/>
Shovel Dirt?—My First Day As A Commissioned Officer.<br/></p>
<p>The last chapter of this history wound up in my interview with the
colonel, in which he told me that what the boys had said was true, and
that I had a right to to be called “Lieutenant.” He said there was a
vacancy in the commissioned officers of my company, caused, by some
discrepancy in regard to the ownership of a horse which an officer had
sold as belonging to him, when investigation showed that there was “U. S.”
branded on the horse. The colonel said he had looked over the company
pretty thoroughly, and while I was not all that he could desire in an
officer, there were less objections to me than to many others, and he had
recommended the governor of our state to commission me. He said he didn't
want me to run away with the idea that my promotion from private to a
commissioned office was for any particular gallantry, or that I was
particularly entitled to promotion, but I seemed the most available. It
was true, he said, that I had done everything I had been told to do, in a
cheerful manner, and had not displayed any cowardice, that he knew of,
though I had often admitted to him that I was a coward. He said he thought
few men knew whether they were cowards or not, until they got in a tight
place, and that most men honestly believed they were cowards, but they
didn't want others to know it, and they took pains to conceal the fact. He
said he had rather be considered a coward than a dare-devil of bravery,
for if he flunked when a chance come to show his metal, it wouldn't be
thought much of, and if he pulled through, and made a decent record for
bravery, he would get a heap of credit. He said he believed it took a man
with more nerve to do some things he had ordered me to do, than it did to
get behind a tree and shoot at the enemy, and he was willing to take his
chances on me. He congratulated me, and some of the other officers did the
same.</p>
<p>I was invited to sit into a game of draw poker with some of the officers.
I pleaded that I was not sufficiently recovered from my sickness to play
poker, and I went back to my tent to talk with Jim. I was thinking over
the new responsibilities that were about to come to me, and figuring on
the salary. A hundred and fifty dollars a month! It is cruel to raise the
salary of a poor devil from thirteen dollars a month to a hundred and
fifty. I wondered how in the world the government was ever going to get
that much out of me. Certainly I couldn't do any more than I had been
doing towards crushing the rebellion for thirteen dollars. And what would
I do with so much money? In my wildest dreams of promotion I had never
hoped to be a commissioned officer. I had thought sometimes, a week or two
after I enlisted, that if I was a general I could put down the rebellion
so quick the government would have lots of nations left on its hands to
spoil, but a few months active service had taken all that sort of nonsense
out of me, and I had been contented as a private. But here I was jumped
over everybody, and made an officer unbeknown to me, It made me dizzy. I
was not very strong anyway, and this thing had come upon me suddenly I was
thinking of the magnificent uniform I would have, and the fancy saddle and
bridle, and the regular officer's tent, with bottles of whiskey and
glasses, when Jim asked me if I wouldn't just hold that frying-pan of
bacon over the fire, while he cooked some coffee. He said we would just
eat a little to settle our stomachs, and then go out to Thanksgiving
dinner.</p>
<p>“Thanksgiving dinner,” I said. “What are you talking about?”</p>
<p>“Don't you know,” said Jim, “to-day is Thanksgiving? The 'angel' told me
last night to bring you out to the plantation to-day, and I was going
after you at the hospital if you hadn't showed up. She has received a
letter from her brother, who is a rebel prisoner at Madison, and he says a
Yankee hotel-keeper at Madison, that you had written to, had called at the
pen where they were kept, and had brought him a lot of turkey and fixings,
and offered to send him a lot for Thanksgiving, so the rebel boys could
have a big feed, and he says he is well and happy, and going to be
exchanged soon. And she wants us to come out and eat turkey and 'possum. I
had rather eat gray tom-cat than possum, but I told her we would come. So
we will eat a little bacon and bread, and ride out.”</p>
<p>“Well, all right Jim,” I said. “We will go, but in my weak state I can't
be expected to eat possum. If there is anything of that kind to be eat,
Jim, you will have to eat it. However, I will do anything the rebel angel
asks me to do,” I added, remembering her kindness to me when I was sick.</p>
<p>The ride to the plantation, after several weeks confinement, was better
than medicine, and I enjoyed every step my proud horse took. The animal
acted as though he had been told of my promotion, but it was plain to me
that he acted proud, because he had been resting during my sickness. It
was all I could do to keep Jim alongside of me. He would fall back every
little while and try to act like an orderly riding behind an officer. I
had to discipline him before he would come up alongside like a “partner.”
I mention this Thanksgiving dinner in the army, in order to bring in a
little advice the rebel girl gave me, which I shall always remember. We
arrived at the old plantation house where the girl and her mother and some
servants were living, waiting for the war to close, so the men folks could
come back. The old lady welcomed us cordially, the girl warmly and the
servants effusively. The dinner was good, though not elaborate, except the
possum. That was elaborate, and next to gumbo soup, the finest dish I ever
tasted. After we had got seated at the table, the old lady asked a
blessing, and it was more like a prayer. She asked for a blessing upon all
of the men in both armies, and made us feel as though there was no
bitterness in her heart towards the enemies of her people. During the
dinner Jim told of my promotion, and the circumstance was commented on by
all, and after dinner the rebel angel took me one side, and said she had
got a few words of advice to give me. She commenced by saying:</p>
<p>“Now that you are to be a commissioned officer, don't get the big head.
During this war, we have had soldiers near us all the time, and I have
seen some splendid soldiers spoiled by being commsssioned. Nine out of ten
men that have received commissions in this locality, have been spoiled. I
am a few years older than you, and have seen much of the world. You are a
kind hearted man, and desire to treat everybody well, whether rich or
poor, yankee or confederate. If you let this commission spoil you, you are
not worthy of it. You will naturally feel as though you should associate
with officers entirely, but you will find in them no better companions
than you have found in the private soldiers, and I doubt if you will find
as true friends. Do not, under any circumstances, draw away from your old
friends, and let a barrier raise up between you and them. My observation
teaches me that the only difference between the officers and men in the
Union army, is that officers get more pay for doing less duty; they become
dissipated and fast because they can better afford it, they drink more,
put on style, play cards for money, and think the world revolves around
them, and that they are indispensible to success, and yet when they die,
or are discharged for cause, private soldiers take their place and become
better officers than they did, until they in turn become spoiled. I can
think of no position better calculated to ruin a young man than to
commission him in a cavalry regiment. Now take my advice. Do not run in
debt for a new uniform and a silver mounted sword, and don't put a stock
of whisky and cigars into your tent, and keep open house, because when
your whisky and cigars are gone, those who drank and smoked them will not
think as much of you as before, and you will have formed habits that will
illy prepare you for your work. You will not make any friends among good
officers, and you will lose the respect of the men who have known you when
you were one of them, but who will laugh at you for getting the big head
and going back on those who are just as good as you are, but who have not
yet attained the dignity of wearing shoulder straps. I meet officers every
day, who were good soldiers before they were raised from privates, and
they show signs of dissipation, and have a hard look, leering at women,
and trying to look <i>blasé</i>. They try to act as near like foreign
noblemen who are officers, as they can, from reading of their antics, but
Americans just from farms, workshops, commercial pursuits, and the back
woods and country villages of the north, are not of the material that
foreign officials are made of, and in trying to imitate them they only
show their shallowness. Do not, I beg of you, change one particle from
what you have been as a private soldier, unless it is to have your pants
fit better, and wear a collar. Of course, you will be thrown among
officers more than you have before. Imitate their better qualities, and do
not compete with them in vices. Always remember that when a volunteer army
is mustered out, all are alike. The private, who has business ability,
will become rich and respected, after the war, while the officer, who has
been promoted through favoritism, and who acquires bad habits, will keep
going down hill, and will be glad to drive a delivery wagon for the
successful private, whom he commanded and snubbed when he held a proud
position and got the big head. Now, my convalescent red-headed yankee, you
have the best advice, I know how to give a young man who has struck a
streak of luck. Go back to your friends, and may God bless you.”</p>
<p>Well, I had never had any such advice as that before, and as Jim and me
rode back to camp that Thanksgiving evening, her words seemed to burn into
my alleged brain. I could see how easy it would be for a fellow to make a
spectacle of himself. What did a commission amount to, anyway, that a
fellow should feel above anybody. When we arrived in camp, and went into
our tent to have a smoke, the chaplain came in. I had not seen much of him
lately. When I was sick I felt the need of a chaplain considerably. Not
that I cared particularly to have him come and set up a howl over me, as
though I was going to die, and he was expected to steer me the right way.
But I felt as though it was his duty to look after the boys when they were
sick, and talk to them about something cheerful. But he did not show up
when I needed him, and when he called at our tent after I was well, there
wasn't that cordiality on my part that there ought to have been. He had a
package which he unrolled, after congratulating me on my recovery, and it
proved to be a new saber, with silver mounted scabbard and gold sword
handle. The chaplain said he had heard that I was to be commissioned, and
he had found that saber at a store down town, and thought I might want to
buy it. He said of course I would not want to wear a common government
saber, as it would look too rude..He said he could get that saber for
forty dollars, dirt cheap, and I could pay for it when I got my first pay
as an officer. I could see through the chaplain in a minute. He had
thought I would jump at the chance to put on style, and that he could make
ten or fifteen dollars selling me a gilt-edged saber. I thanked him
warmly, and a little sarcastically, for his great interest in the welfare
of my soul, in sickness and in health, but told him that I was going to
try and pull through with a common private's saber. I told him that the
few people I should kill with a saber, would enjoy it just as well to be
run through with a common saber. My only object was to help put down the
rebellion, and I could do it with ordinary plain cutlery, as well as
silver-mounted trappings. I said that to smear a silver-mounted saber all
over with gore, would spoil the looks of it. The chaplain went out, when a
drummer for a tailor shop came in with some samples, and wanted to make up
a new uniform for me, regardless of expense. I stood him off, and went to
bed, tired, and thought I had rather be a private than a general. The next
morning it was my turn to cook our breakfast, and I turned out and built a
fire, cut off some salt pork, and was frying it, when the orderly sergeant
came along and detailed Jim and me, with ten or a dozen others to go to
work on the fortifications. The rebels-were preparing to attack our
position, and the commanding officer had deemed it advisable to throw up
some earthworks. I told the orderly that he couldn't detail me to work
with a shovel, digging trenches, when I was an officer, but he said he
could, until I received my commission and was mustered in. I left my
cooking and went to the colonel's tent. He was just rolling out of his
bunk, and I said:</p>
<p>“How is it, Colonel? Can an officer be detailed to go and shovel dirt? I
have been detailed by the orderly, with a lot of privates, to report to
the engineer, to throw up fortifications. That does not strike me as
proper work for a commissioned officer.”</p>
<p>“You will have to go,” said the colonel, as he stood on one leg while he
tried to lasso his other foot with a pants leg. “It may be three months
before your commission will arrive, and then you will have to go to New
Orleans to be mustered out as a private and mustered in as an officer.
Until that time you will have to do duty as a private.”</p>
<p>“Then what the devil did you say anything about my being commissioned for,
until the commission got here,” said I, and I went back and finished
cooking breakfast for myself and Jim.</p>
<p>Our detail went down to the river, at the left of the line, and reported
to the engineer, and were set to work cutting down trees, throwing up
dirt, and doing about the dirtiest and hardest work that I had ever done.
As a private I could have done anything that was asked of me, but the
thought of doing such work, while all the boys were calling me
“Lieutenant,” was too much. I never was so crushed in my life. How glad I
was that I did not buy that gilt-edged saber of the chaplain. We had to
wear our side arms while at work, fearing an attack at any minute, and I
thought how ridiculous I would have looked with that silver-mounted saber
hanging to me, while I was handling a shovel like a railroad laborer. If
that detail was made to humiliate me, and reduce my proud flesh, that had
appeared on me by my sudden promotion, it had the desired effect, for
before night I was as humble an amateur officer as ever lived. I had
chopped down trees until my hands were blistered, and had shoveled dirt
until my back was broke, and at night returned to my tent too tired to eat
supper, and went to bed too weary and disgusted to sleep. And that was my
first day as a commissioned officer.</p>
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