<p><SPAN name="link2HCH0027" id="link2HCH0027"></SPAN></p>
<br/>
<h2> CHAPTER XXVII. </h2>
<p>A Short Story About a Pair of Boots, Showing the Monumental<br/>
Gall of their Owner.<br/></p>
<p>When I enlisted in the cavalry I bought a pair of top boots, of the
Wellington pattern, stitched with silk up and down the legs, which were of
shiny morocco. They came clear above my knees, and from the pictures I had
seen of cavalry soldiers, it struck me those boots would be a pass-port to
any society in the army. The first few months of my service, it seemed to
me, the boots gave me more tone than any one thing. I learned afterwards
that all new recruits came to the regiment with such boots, and that they
were the laughing stock of all the old veterans. I did not know that I was
being guyed by the boys, and I loved those boots above all things I had.
To be sure, when we struck an unusually muddy country, some idiot of an
officer seemed to be inspired to order us to dismount. The boys who had
common army boots would dismount anywhere, in mud or water, but it seemed
to me cruel for officers to order a dismount, when they knew I would have
to step in the mud half way up to my knees, with those morocco boots on.
Several times when ordered to dismount in the mud, I have ridden out of
the road, where it was not muddy, to dismount, but the boys would laugh so
loud, and the officers would swear so wickedly, that I got so I would
dismount wherever they told me, suppress my emotions, as I felt my
beautiful, shiny boots sink into the red clay, and when we got into camp I
would spend half the night cleaning my boots. The captain said if I would
spend half the time cleaning my carbine and saber that I did cleaning my
boots, I would have been a model soldier.</p>
<p>I think that for the first year of my service I had as elegant a pair of
boots as could be found in the army. But it was the hardest work to keep
track of them. The first three months it was all I could do to keep the
chaplain from trading me a pair of old army shoes for my boots. The
arguments he used to convince me that mo-. rocco boots were far above my
station, and that they were intended for a chaplain, were labored. If he
had used the same number of words in the right direction, he could have
converted the whole army. I had to sleep with my boots under my head every
night, to prevent them from being stolen and twice they were stolen from
my tent, but in each case recovered at the sutler's, where they had been
pawned for a bottle of brandy peaches, which I had to pay for to redeem
the boots. The boots had become almost a burden to me, in keeping them,
but I enjoyed them so much that money could not have bought them. When we
were in a town for a few days, and I rode around, it did not make any
difference whether I had any other clothes on, of any account, the morocco
boots captured the town. The natives could not see how a man who wore such
boots could be anything but a high-up thoroughbred. The last time I lost
my boots will always be remembered by those who were in the same command.
We were on the march with a Michigan and a New Jersey regiment, through
the dustiest country that ever was. The dust was eight inches deep in the
road, and just like fine ashes. Every time a horse put his foot down the
dust would raise above the trees, and as there were two thousand horses,
with four feet apiece, and each foot in constant motion, it can be
imagined that the troops were dusty. And it was so hot that the
perspiration oozed out of us, but the dust covered it.</p>
<p>The three regiments took turns in acting as rear guard, to pick up
stragglers, and on this hot and dusty day the New Jersey regiment was in
the rear. It was composed of Germans entirely, with a German colonel, a
man who had seen service in Europe, and he looked upon a soldier as a
machine, with no soul, fit only to obey orders. That was not the kind of a
soldier I was. During the day's march the boys stripped off everything
they could. I know all I had on was a shirt and pants, and a handkerchief
around my head. I took off my boots and coat and let the colored cook of
the company strap them on to his saddle with the camp kettles. He usually
rode right behind the company, and I thought I could get my things any
time if I wanted to dress up. It was the hardest day's march that I ever
experienced, lungs full of dust, and every man so covered with dust that
you could not recognize your nearest neighbor. Afternoon the command
halted beside a stream, and it was announced that we would go into camp
for the night. The colored cook came along soon after, and he was
perfectly pale, whether from dust or fright I could not tell, but he
announced to me, in a manner that showed that he appreciated the calamity
which had befallen the command, that he had lost my boots. I was going to
kill him, but my carbine was full of dust, and I made it a point never to
kill a man with a dirty gun, so I let him explain. He said:</p>
<p>“I fell back to de rear, by dat plantation where de cotton gin was
burning, to see if I couldn't get a canteen of buttermilk to wash de dust
outen my froat, when dat Dutch Noo Jersey gang come along, and de boss he
said, 'nicker, you got back ahead fere you pelong, or I gick you in de
pack mit a saber, aind't it,' and when I get on my mule to come along he
grab de boots and he say, 'nicker, dot boots is better for me,' and when I
was going to take dem away from him he stick me in de pants wid a saber.
Den I come away.”</p>
<p>I could have stood up under having an arm shot off, but to lose my boots
was more than I could bear. It never did take me long to decide on any
important matter, and in a moment I decided to invade the camp of that New
Jersey regiment, recapture my boots or annihilate every last foreigner on
our soil, so I started off, barefooted, without a coat, and covered with
dust, for the headquarters of the New Jersey fellows. They had been in
camp but a few minutes, but every last one of them had taken a bath in the
river, brushed the dust off his clothes, and looked ready for dress
parade. That was one fault of those foreigners, they were always clean, if
they had half a chance. I went right to the colonel's tent, and he was
surrounded with officers, and they were opening bottles of beer, and how
cool it looked. There was something peculiar about those foreigners, no
matter if they were doing duty in the most inaccessible place in the
south, and were short of transportation, you could always find beer at
their headquarters. I walked right in, and the colonel was just blowing
the foam off a glass of beer. He looked at me in astonishment, and I said
in a voice husky from dust down my neck:</p>
<p>“Colonel this is an important epoch in the history of our beloved country.
Events have transpired within the past hour, which leaves it an open
question whether, as a nation, we are afoot or on horseback.”</p>
<p>“Great hefens,” said the colonel, stopping with his glass of beer half
drank, “you vrighten me. Vot has habbened. But vait, und dake a glass of
beer, as you seem exhausted, und proke up. Captain Ouskaspiel, hand the
shendleman some peer. Mine Gott, bud you look hard, strancher.”</p>
<p>I do not believe that I ever drank anything that seemed to go right to the
spot, the way that beer did. It seemed to start a freshet of dust down my
neck, clear my throat, and brace me up. While I was drinking it I noticed
that the German colonel and his officers eyed me closely, my bare feet, my
flannel shirt full of dust, and my hair that looked as though I had stood
on my head in the road. They waited for me to continue, and after draining
the last drop in the glass, I said:</p>
<p>“Colonel, it was no ordinary circumstance that induced you brave
foreigners, holding allegiance to European sovereigns, to fly to arms to
defend this new nation from an internecine foe. While we natives, and to
the manor born, left our plows in the furrow, to spring to-arms, you left
your shoemaker shops, the spigots of your beer saloons, the marts of
commerce in which you were engaged, and stood shoulder to shoulder. Where
the bullets of the enemy whistled, there could be found the brave Dutchmen
of New Jersey. It brings tears to eyes unused to weeping, to think of the
German fathers and mothers of our land, who are waiting and watching for
the return of sons who will never come back, and this is, indeed, harder
for them to bear, when we reflect that these boys were not obliged to
fight for our country, holding allegiance, as I said before to——”</p>
<p>“Waid a minute, of you blease,” said the colonel. “Dake von more drink,
and dell me, of you please, vot de hell you vos drying to get at. Capt.
Hemrech, gif der shendleman a glass of beer.”</p>
<p>A second glass of beer was given me, and I drank it. There was evidently a
suspicion on the part of the New Jersey officers that the importance of my
visit had been over-rated by them, and they seemed anxious to have me come
to the point.</p>
<p>“On the march today,” said I, wiping the foam off my moustache on my
shirt-sleeve, “one of your thieving soldiers stole my boots from our
nigger cook, who was conveying them for me. A cavalry soldier without
boots, is no good. I came after my boots, and I will have them or blood.
Return my boots, or by the eternal, the Wisconsin cavalry regiment will
come over here and everlastingly gallop over your fellows. The
constitution of the United States and the Declaration of Independence, are
on my side. In civil life a man's house is his castle. In the army a man's
boots is his castle. Give me my boots, sir, or the blood of the slain will
rest on your heads.”</p>
<p>The colonel was half mad and half pleased. He tapped his forehead with his
fore-finger, and looked at his officers in a manner that showed he
believed my head was wrong, but he said kindly:</p>
<p>“My man, you go oud and sit under a tree, in the shade, and I vill hafe
your poots found if they are in my rechiment,” and I went out. I heard the
colonel say to one of his officers, “It vas too pad dot two good glasses
of beer should be spoiled, giving them to dot grazy solcher. Ve must be
more careful mit de beer.”</p>
<p>Pretty soon an officer came out and asked me how the boots were taken, and
I gave him all the information I had, and he sent men all around the
regiment, and in an hour or so the boots were brought to me, the man who
stole them was arrested, the officers apologized to me, and I went back to
my regiment in triumph, with my boots under my arms. The incident got
noised around among the other regiments, and for months after that, when
the colonel of the New Jersey cavalry rode by another regiment, the boys
would yell out, “Boots, boots,” or when a company or squad of the New
Jersey fellows would pass along, it was “Look out for your boots! The
shoemakers are coming.” For stealing that one pair of boots, by one man, a
whole regiment got a reputation for stealing that hung to it a long time.
Ten years afterward I was connected with a New York daily paper, and one
evening I was detailed to go to a New Jersey city to report the
commencement exercises of a college. In the programme of exercises I
noticed that a man of the same name of that of the New Jersey colonel, was
one of the college professors, and I wondered if he was the same man.
During the evening he put in an appearance on the stage, and I could see
that he was the colonel who had given me the beer, and caused my boots to
be returned to me. After the exercises of the evening, the New York
newspaper men were invited to partake of a collation in the apartments of
the college officials, and the professors were introduced to the newspaper
men. When my turn came to be introduced, and the old colonel stood before
me, I said:</p>
<p>“General, you were in the army, were you not?”</p>
<p>“Yezzer!” said the old man. “I am broud to say dot I fought for my adopted
country. But vy do you ask?”</p>
<p>“We have met before. I, too, was a soldier. I was at your headquarters
once, on a very important mission. I was entertained, sir, in your tent,
permitted, to partake of the good, things you had, and sent away happy.</p>
<p>“Vell, you dond't say so,” said the old man, as he pressed my hand warmly.
“Vere vas dis dat you were my guest, and vot vas de important message?”
and he smiled all over his face at the prospect of hearing something about
old times.</p>
<p>“It was in Mississippi, between Montgomery, Ala., and Vicksburg. Do you
remember the hottest and dustiest day that ever was, when we camped on a
little stream?” said I.</p>
<p>“O, yah!” said the colonel; “very well. It vas an awful time.”</p>
<p>“I went to your headquarters with information of vital importance. One of
your soldiers <i>had stolen my boots</i>.”</p>
<p>“Gott in himmel!” said the old colonel, now a college professor, as he
looked at me to see if there was any resemblance between the New York
reporter and the dusty, bare-footed soldier of ten years before. “Vill I
never hear de last of dem dam boots? And you are de same veller, eh. I
have often thought, since dat day, vot an awful gall you had. But it is
all ofer now. You vatch your poots vile you are in New Chersey, for plenty
of dose cavalry-men are all around here. But do me a favor now, and don't
ever again say poots to me, dot's a good fellow,” and then we all sat down
to lunch, and the old colonel told the newspaper boys from New York about
how I called at his tent on the march, looking for a pair of boots that
had eloped with one of his New Chersey dutchmen.</p>
<p><br/><br/></p>
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />