<p><SPAN name="chap01"></SPAN></p>
<h3> CHAPTER 1 </h3>
<p class="pfirst"><span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">A</span>
lthough I am an old man,
night is generally my time for walking. In the summer I often leave home
early in the morning, and roam about fields and lanes all day, or even
escape for days or weeks together; but, saving in the country, I seldom go
out until after dark, though, Heaven be thanked, I love its light and feel
the cheerfulness it sheds upon the earth, as much as any creature living.</p>
<p>I have fallen insensibly into this habit, both because it favours my
infirmity and because it affords me greater opportunity of speculating on
the characters and occupations of those who fill the streets. The glare
and hurry of broad noon are not adapted to idle pursuits like mine; a
glimpse of passing faces caught by the light of a street-lamp or a shop
window is often better for my purpose than their full revelation in the
daylight; and, if I must add the truth, night is kinder in this respect
than day, which too often destroys an air-built castle at the moment of
its completion, without the least ceremony or remorse.</p>
<p>That constant pacing to and fro, that never-ending restlessness, that
incessant tread of feet wearing the rough stones smooth and glossy—is
it not a wonder how the dwellers in narrows ways can bear to hear it!
Think of a sick man in such a place as Saint Martin’s Court, listening to
the footsteps, and in the midst of pain and weariness obliged, despite
himself (as though it were a task he must perform) to detect the child’s
step from the man’s, the slipshod beggar from the booted exquisite, the
lounging from the busy, the dull heel of the sauntering outcast from the
quick tread of an expectant pleasure-seeker—think of the hum and
noise always being present to his sense, and of the stream of life that
will not stop, pouring on, on, on, through all his restless dreams, as if
he were condemned to lie, dead but conscious, in a noisy churchyard, and
had no hope of rest for centuries to come.</p>
<p>Then, the crowds forever passing and repassing on the bridges (on those
which are free of toll at least), where many stop on fine evenings looking
listlessly down upon the water with some vague idea that by and by it runs
between green banks which grow wider and wider until at last it joins the
broad vast sea—where some halt to rest from heavy loads and think as
they look over the parapet that to smoke and lounge away one’s life, and
lie sleeping in the sun upon a hot tarpaulin, in a dull, slow, sluggish
barge, must be happiness unalloyed—and where some, and a very
different class, pause with heavier loads than they, remembering to have
heard or read in old time that drowning was not a hard death, but of all
means of suicide the easiest and best.</p>
<p>Covent Garden Market at sunrise too, in the spring or summer, when the
fragrance of sweet flowers is in the air, over-powering even the
unwholesome streams of last night’s debauchery, and driving the dusky
thrush, whose cage has hung outside a garret window all night long, half
mad with joy! Poor bird! the only neighbouring thing at all akin to the
other little captives, some of whom, shrinking from the hot hands of
drunken purchasers, lie drooping on the path already, while others,
soddened by close contact, await the time when they shall be watered and
freshened up to please more sober company, and make old clerks who pass
them on their road to business, wonder what has filled their breasts with
visions of the country.</p>
<p>But my present purpose is not to expatiate upon my walks. The story I am
about to relate, and to which I shall recur at intervals, arose out of one
of these rambles; and thus I have been led to speak of them by way of
preface.</p>
<p>One night I had roamed into the City, and was walking slowly on in my
usual way, musing upon a great many things, when I was arrested by an
inquiry, the purport of which did not reach me, but which seemed to be
addressed to myself, and was preferred in a soft sweet voice that struck
me very pleasantly. I turned hastily round and found at my elbow a pretty
little girl, who begged to be directed to a certain street at a
considerable distance, and indeed in quite another quarter of the town.</p>
<p>‘It is a very long way from here,’ said I, ‘my child.’</p>
<p>‘I know that, sir,’ she replied timidly. ‘I am afraid it is a very long
way, for I came from there to-night.’</p>
<p>‘Alone?’ said I, in some surprise.</p>
<p>‘Oh, yes, I don’t mind that, but I am a little frightened now, for I had
lost my road.’</p>
<p>‘And what made you ask it of me? Suppose I should tell you wrong?’</p>
<p>‘I am sure you will not do that,’ said the little creature,’ you are such
a very old gentleman, and walk so slow yourself.’</p>
<p>I cannot describe how much I was impressed by this appeal and the energy
with which it was made, which brought a tear into the child’s clear eye,
and made her slight figure tremble as she looked up into my face.</p>
<p>‘Come,’ said I, ‘I’ll take you there.’</p>
<p>She put her hand in mine as confidingly as if she had known me from her
cradle, and we trudged away together; the little creature accommodating
her pace to mine, and rather seeming to lead and take care of me than I to
be protecting her. I observed that every now and then she stole a curious
look at my face, as if to make quite sure that I was not deceiving her,
and that these glances (very sharp and keen they were too) seemed to
increase her confidence at every repetition.</p>
<p>For my part, my curiosity and interest were at least equal to the child’s,
for child she certainly was, although I thought it probable from what I
could make out, that her very small and delicate frame imparted a peculiar
youthfulness to her appearance. Though more scantily attired than she
might have been she was dressed with perfect neatness, and betrayed no
marks of poverty or neglect.</p>
<p>‘Who has sent you so far by yourself?’ said I.</p>
<p>‘Someone who is very kind to me, sir.’</p>
<p>‘And what have you been doing?’</p>
<p>‘That, I must not tell,’ said the child firmly.</p>
<p>There was something in the manner of this reply which caused me to look at
the little creature with an involuntary expression of surprise; for I
wondered what kind of errand it might be that occasioned her to be
prepared for questioning. Her quick eye seemed to read my thoughts, for as
it met mine she added that there was no harm in what she had been doing,
but it was a great secret—a secret which she did not even know
herself.</p>
<p>This was said with no appearance of cunning or deceit, but with an
unsuspicious frankness that bore the impress of truth. She walked on as
before, growing more familiar with me as we proceeded and talking
cheerfully by the way, but she said no more about her home, beyond
remarking that we were going quite a new road and asking if it were a
short one.</p>
<p>While we were thus engaged, I revolved in my mind a hundred different
explanations of the riddle and rejected them every one. I really felt
ashamed to take advantage of the ingenuousness or grateful feeling of the
child for the purpose of gratifying my curiosity. I love these little
people; and it is not a slight thing when they, who are so fresh from God,
love us. As I had felt pleased at first by her confidence I determined to
deserve it, and to do credit to the nature which had prompted her to
repose it in me.</p>
<p>There was no reason, however, why I should refrain from seeing the person
who had inconsiderately sent her to so great a distance by night and
alone, and as it was not improbable that if she found herself near home
she might take farewell of me and deprive me of the opportunity, I avoided
the most frequented ways and took the most intricate, and thus it was not
until we arrived in the street itself that she knew where we were.
Clapping her hands with pleasure and running on before me for a short
distance, my little acquaintance stopped at a door and remaining on the
step till I came up knocked at it when I joined her.</p>
<p>A part of this door was of glass unprotected by any shutter, which I did
not observe at first, for all was very dark and silent within, and I was
anxious (as indeed the child was also) for an answer to our summons. When
she had knocked twice or thrice there was a noise as if some person were
moving inside, and at length a faint light appeared through the glass
which, as it approached very slowly, the bearer having to make his way
through a great many scattered articles, enabled me to see both what kind
of person it was who advanced and what kind of place it was through which
he came.</p>
<p>It was an old man with long grey hair, whose face and figure as he held
the light above his head and looked before him as he approached, I could
plainly see. Though much altered by age, I fancied I could recognize in
his spare and slender form something of that delicate mould which I had
noticed in the child. Their bright blue eyes were certainly alike, but his
face was so deeply furrowed and so very full of care, that here all
resemblance ceased.</p>
<p>The place through which he made his way at leisure was one of those
receptacles for old and curious things which seem to crouch in odd corners
of this town and to hide their musty treasures from the public eye in
jealousy and distrust. There were suits of mail standing like ghosts in
armour here and there, fantastic carvings brought from monkish cloisters,
rusty weapons of various kinds, distorted figures in china and wood and
iron and ivory: tapestry and strange furniture that might have been
designed in dreams. The haggard aspect of the little old man was
wonderfully suited to the place; he might have groped among old churches
and tombs and deserted houses and gathered all the spoils with his own
hands. There was nothing in the whole collection but was in keeping with
himself nothing that looked older or more worn than he.</p>
<p>As he turned the key in the lock, he surveyed me with some astonishment
which was not diminished when he looked from me to my companion. The door
being opened, the child addressed him as grandfather, and told him the
little story of our companionship.</p>
<p>‘Why, bless thee, child,’ said the old man, patting her on the head, ‘how
couldst thou miss thy way? What if I had lost thee, Nell!’</p>
<p>‘I would have found my way back to <i>you</i>, grandfather,’ said the child
boldly; ‘never fear.’</p>
<p>The old man kissed her, then turning to me and begging me to walk in, I
did so. The door was closed and locked. Preceding me with the light, he
led me through the place I had already seen from without, into a small
sitting-room behind, in which was another door opening into a kind of
closet, where I saw a little bed that a fairy might have slept in, it
looked so very small and was so prettily arranged. The child took a candle
and tripped into this little room, leaving the old man and me together.</p>
<p>‘You must be tired, sir,’ said he as he placed a chair near the fire, ‘how
can I thank you?’</p>
<p>‘By taking more care of your grandchild another time, my good friend,’ I
replied.</p>
<p>‘More care!’ said the old man in a shrill voice, ‘more care of Nelly! Why,
who ever loved a child as I love Nell?’</p>
<p>He said this with such evident surprise that I was perplexed what answer
to make, and the more so because coupled with something feeble and
wandering in his manner, there were in his face marks of deep and anxious
thought which convinced me that he could not be, as I had been at first
inclined to suppose, in a state of dotage or imbecility.</p>
<p>‘I don’t think you consider—’ I began.</p>
<p>‘I don’t consider!’ cried the old man interrupting me, ‘I don’t consider
her! Ah, how little you know of the truth! Little Nelly, little Nelly!’</p>
<p>It would be impossible for any man, I care not what his form of speech
might be, to express more affection than the dealer in curiosities did, in
these four words. I waited for him to speak again, but he rested his chin
upon his hand and shaking his head twice or thrice fixed his eyes upon the
fire.</p>
<p>While we were sitting thus in silence, the door of the closet opened, and
the child returned, her light brown hair hanging loose about her neck, and
her face flushed with the haste she had made to rejoin us. She busied
herself immediately in preparing supper, and while she was thus engaged I
remarked that the old man took an opportunity of observing me more closely
than he had done yet. I was surprised to see that all this time everything
was done by the child, and that there appeared to be no other persons but
ourselves in the house. I took advantage of a moment when she was absent
to venture a hint on this point, to which the old man replied that there
were few grown persons as trustworthy or as careful as she.</p>
<p>‘It always grieves me,’ I observed, roused by what I took to be his
selfishness, ‘it always grieves me to contemplate the initiation of
children into the ways of life, when they are scarcely more than infants.
It checks their confidence and simplicity—two of the best qualities
that Heaven gives them—and demands that they share our sorrows
before they are capable of entering into our enjoyments.’</p>
<p>‘It will never check hers,’ said the old man looking steadily at me, ‘the
springs are too deep. Besides, the children of the poor know but few
pleasures. Even the cheap delights of childhood must be bought and paid
for.’</p>
<p>‘But—forgive me for saying this—you are surely not so very
poor’—said I.</p>
<p>‘She is not my child, sir,’ returned the old man. ‘Her mother was, and she
was poor. I save nothing—not a penny—though I live as you see,
but’—he laid his hand upon my arm and leant forward to whisper—‘she
shall be rich one of these days, and a fine lady. Don’t you think ill of
me because I use her help. She gives it cheerfully as you see, and it
would break her heart if she knew that I suffered anybody else to do for
me what her little hands could undertake. I don’t consider!’—he
cried with sudden querulousness, ‘why, God knows that this one child is
the thought and object of my life, and yet he never prospers me—no,
never!’</p>
<p>At this juncture, the subject of our conversation again returned, and the
old man motioning to me to approach the table, broke off, and said no
more.</p>
<p>We had scarcely begun our repast when there was a knock at the door by
which I had entered, and Nell bursting into a hearty laugh, which I was
rejoiced to hear, for it was childlike and full of hilarity, said it was
no doubt dear old Kit coming back at last.</p>
<p>‘Foolish Nell!’ said the old man fondling with her hair. ‘She always
laughs at poor Kit.’</p>
<p>The child laughed again more heartily than before, and I could not help
smiling from pure sympathy. The little old man took up a candle and went
to open the door. When he came back, Kit was at his heels.</p>
<p>Kit was a shock-headed, shambling, awkward lad with an uncommonly wide
mouth, very red cheeks, a turned-up nose, and certainly the most comical
expression of face I ever saw. He stopped short at the door on seeing a
stranger, twirled in his hand a perfectly round old hat without any
vestige of a brim, and resting himself now on one leg and now on the other
and changing them constantly, stood in the doorway, looking into the
parlour with the most extraordinary leer I ever beheld. I entertained a
grateful feeling towards the boy from that minute, for I felt that he was
the comedy of the child’s life.</p>
<p>‘A long way, wasn’t it, Kit?’ said the little old man.</p>
<p>‘Why, then, it was a goodish stretch, master,’ returned Kit.</p>
<p>‘Of course you have come back hungry?’</p>
<p>‘Why, then, I do consider myself rather so, master,’ was the answer.</p>
<p>The lad had a remarkable manner of standing sideways as he spoke, and
thrusting his head forward over his shoulder, as if he could not get at
his voice without that accompanying action. I think he would have amused
one anywhere, but the child’s exquisite enjoyment of his oddity, and the
relief it was to find that there was something she associated with
merriment in a place that appeared so unsuited to her, were quite
irresistible. It was a great point too that Kit himself was flattered by
the sensation he created, and after several efforts to preserve his
gravity, burst into a loud roar, and so stood with his mouth wide open and
his eyes nearly shut, laughing violently.</p>
<p>The old man had again relapsed into his former abstraction and took no
notice of what passed, but I remarked that when her laugh was over, the
child’s bright eyes were dimmed with tears, called forth by the fullness
of heart with which she welcomed her uncouth favourite after the little
anxiety of the night. As for Kit himself (whose laugh had been all the
time one of that sort which very little would change into a cry) he
carried a large slice of bread and meat and a mug of beer into a corner,
and applied himself to disposing of them with great voracity.</p>
<p>‘Ah!’ said the old man turning to me with a sigh, as if I had spoken to
him but that moment, ‘you don’t know what you say when you tell me that I
don’t consider her.’</p>
<p>‘You must not attach too great weight to a remark founded on first
appearances, my friend,’ said I.</p>
<p>‘No,’ returned the old man thoughtfully, ‘no. Come hither, Nell.’</p>
<p>The little girl hastened from her seat, and put her arm about his neck.</p>
<p>‘Do I love thee, Nell?’ said he. ‘Say—do I love thee, Nell, or no?’</p>
<p>The child only answered by her caresses, and laid her head upon his
breast.</p>
<p>‘Why dost thou sob?’ said the grandfather, pressing her closer to him and
glancing towards me. ‘Is it because thou know’st I love thee, and dost not
like that I should seem to doubt it by my question? Well, well—then
let us say I love thee dearly.’</p>
<p>‘Indeed, indeed you do,’ replied the child with great earnestness, ‘Kit
knows you do.’</p>
<p>Kit, who in despatching his bread and meat had been swallowing two-thirds
of his knife at every mouthful with the coolness of a juggler, stopped
short in his operations on being thus appealed to, and bawled ‘Nobody
isn’t such a fool as to say he doosn’t,’ after which he incapacitated
himself for further conversation by taking a most prodigious sandwich at
one bite.</p>
<p>‘She is poor now’—said the old man, patting the child’s cheek, ‘but
I say again that the time is coming when she shall be rich. It has been a
long time coming, but it must come at last; a very long time, but it
surely must come. It has come to other men who do nothing but waste and
riot. When <i>will </i>it come to me!’</p>
<p>‘I am very happy as I am, grandfather,’ said the child.</p>
<p>‘Tush, tush!’ returned the old man, ‘thou dost not know—how
should’st thou!’ then he muttered again between his teeth, ‘The time must
come, I am very sure it must. It will be all the better for coming late’;
and then he sighed and fell into his former musing state, and still
holding the child between his knees appeared to be insensible to
everything around him. By this time it wanted but a few minutes of
midnight and I rose to go, which recalled him to himself.</p>
<p>‘One moment, sir,’ he said, ‘Now, Kit—near midnight, boy, and you
still here! Get home, get home, and be true to your time in the morning,
for there’s work to do. Good night! There, bid him good night, Nell, and
let him be gone!’</p>
<p>‘Good night, Kit,’ said the child, her eyes lighting up with merriment and
kindness.</p>
<p>‘Good night, Miss Nell,’ returned the boy.</p>
<p>‘And thank this gentleman,’ interposed the old man, ‘but for whose care I
might have lost my little girl to-night.’</p>
<p>‘No, no, master,’ said Kit, ‘that won’t do, that won’t.’</p>
<p>‘What do you mean?’ cried the old man.</p>
<p>‘I’d have found her, master,’ said Kit, ‘I’d have found her. I’ll bet that
I’d find her if she was above ground, I would, as quick as anybody,
master. Ha, ha, ha!’</p>
<p>Once more opening his mouth and shutting his eyes, and laughing like a
stentor, Kit gradually backed to the door, and roared himself out.</p>
<p>Free of the room, the boy was not slow in taking his departure; when he
had gone, and the child was occupied in clearing the table, the old man
said:</p>
<p>‘I haven’t seemed to thank you, sir, for what you have done to-night, but
I do thank you humbly and heartily, and so does she, and her thanks are
better worth than mine. I should be sorry that you went away, and thought
I was unmindful of your goodness, or careless of her—I am not
indeed.’</p>
<p>I was sure of that, I said, from what I had seen. ‘But,’ I added, ‘may I
ask you a question?’</p>
<p>‘Ay, sir,’ replied the old man, ‘What is it?’</p>
<p>‘This delicate child,’ said I, ‘with so much beauty and intelligence—has
she nobody to care for her but you? Has she no other companion or
advisor?’</p>
<p>‘No,’ he returned, looking anxiously in my face, ‘no, and she wants no
other.’</p>
<p>‘But are you not fearful,’ said I, ‘that you may misunderstand a charge so
tender? I am sure you mean well, but are you quite certain that you know
how to execute such a trust as this? I am an old man, like you, and I am
actuated by an old man’s concern in all that is young and promising. Do
you not think that what I have seen of you and this little creature
to-night must have an interest not wholly free from pain?’</p>
<p>‘Sir,’ rejoined the old man after a moment’s silence. ‘I have no right to
feel hurt at what you say. It is true that in many respects I am the
child, and she the grown person—that you have seen already. But
waking or sleeping, by night or day, in sickness or health, she is the one
object of my care, and if you knew of how much care, you would look on me
with different eyes, you would indeed. Ah! It’s a weary life for an old
man—a weary, weary life—but there is a great end to gain and
that I keep before me.’</p>
<p>Seeing that he was in a state of excitement and impatience, I turned to
put on an outer coat which I had thrown off on entering the room,
purposing to say no more. I was surprised to see the child standing
patiently by with a cloak upon her arm, and in her hand a hat, and stick.</p>
<p>‘Those are not mine, my dear,’ said I.</p>
<p>‘No,’ returned the child, ‘they are grandfather’s.’</p>
<p>‘But he is not going out to-night.’</p>
<p>‘Oh, yes, he is,’ said the child, with a smile.</p>
<p>‘And what becomes of you, my pretty one?’</p>
<p>‘Me! I stay here of course. I always do.’</p>
<p>I looked in astonishment towards the old man, but he was, or feigned to
be, busied in the arrangement of his dress. From him I looked back to the
slight gentle figure of the child. Alone! In that gloomy place all the
long, dreary night.</p>
<p>She evinced no consciousness of my surprise, but cheerfully helped the old
man with his cloak, and when he was ready took a candle to light us out.
Finding that we did not follow as she expected, she looked back with a
smile and waited for us. The old man showed by his face that he plainly
understood the cause of my hesitation, but he merely signed to me with an
inclination of the head to pass out of the room before him, and remained
silent. I had no resource but to comply.</p>
<p>When we reached the door, the child setting down the candle, turned to say
good night and raised her face to kiss me. Then she ran to the old man,
who folded her in his arms and bade God bless her.</p>
<p>‘Sleep soundly, Nell,’ he said in a low voice, ‘and angels guard thy bed!
Do not forget thy prayers, my sweet.’</p>
<p>‘No, indeed,’ answered the child fervently, ‘they make me feel so happy!’</p>
<p>‘That’s well; I know they do; they should,’ said the old man. ‘Bless thee
a hundred times! Early in the morning I shall be home.’</p>
<p>‘You’ll not ring twice,’ returned the child. ‘The bell wakes me, even in
the middle of a dream.’</p>
<p>With this, they separated. The child opened the door (now guarded by a
shutter which I had heard the boy put up before he left the house) and
with another farewell whose clear and tender note I have recalled a
thousand times, held it until we had passed out. The old man paused a
moment while it was gently closed and fastened on the inside, and
satisfied that this was done, walked on at a slow pace. At the
street-corner he stopped, and regarding me with a troubled countenance
said that our ways were widely different and that he must take his leave.
I would have spoken, but summoning up more alacrity than might have been
expected in one of his appearance, he hurried away. I could see that twice
or thrice he looked back as if to ascertain if I were still watching him,
or perhaps to assure himself that I was not following at a distance. The
obscurity of the night favoured his disappearance, and his figure was soon
beyond my sight.</p>
<p>I remained standing on the spot where he had left me, unwilling to depart,
and yet unknowing why I should loiter there. I looked wistfully into the
street we had lately quitted, and after a time directed my steps that way.
I passed and repassed the house, and stopped and listened at the door; all
was dark, and silent as the grave.</p>
<p>Yet I lingered about, and could not tear myself away, thinking of all
possible harm that might happen to the child—of fires and robberies
and even murder—and feeling as if some evil must ensue if I turned
my back upon the place. The closing of a door or window in the street
brought me before the curiosity-dealer’s once more; I crossed the road and
looked up at the house to assure myself that the noise had not come from
there. No, it was black, cold, and lifeless as before.</p>
<p>There were few passengers astir; the street was sad and dismal, and pretty
well my own. A few stragglers from the theatres hurried by, and now and
then I turned aside to avoid some noisy drunkard as he reeled homewards,
but these interruptions were not frequent and soon ceased. The clocks
struck one. Still I paced up and down, promising myself that every time
should be the last, and breaking faith with myself on some new plea as
often as I did so.</p>
<p>The more I thought of what the old man had said, and of his looks and
bearing, the less I could account for what I had seen and heard. I had a
strong misgiving that his nightly absence was for no good purpose. I had
only come to know the fact through the innocence of the child, and though
the old man was by at the time, and saw my undisguised surprise, he had
preserved a strange mystery upon the subject and offered no word of
explanation. These reflections naturally recalled again more strongly than
before his haggard face, his wandering manner, his restless anxious looks.
His affection for the child might not be inconsistent with villany of the
worst kind; even that very affection was in itself an extraordinary
contradiction, or how could he leave her thus? Disposed as I was to think
badly of him, I never doubted that his love for her was real. I could not
admit the thought, remembering what had passed between us, and the tone of
voice in which he had called her by her name.</p>
<p>‘Stay here of course,’ the child had said in answer to my question, ‘I
always do!’ What could take him from home by night, and every night! I
called up all the strange tales I had ever heard of dark and secret deeds
committed in great towns and escaping detection for a long series of
years; wild as many of these stories were, I could not find one adapted to
this mystery, which only became the more impenetrable, in proportion as I
sought to solve it.</p>
<p>Occupied with such thoughts as these, and a crowd of others all tending to
the same point, I continued to pace the street for two long hours; at
length the rain began to descend heavily, and then over-powered by fatigue
though no less interested than I had been at first, I engaged the nearest
coach and so got home. A cheerful fire was blazing on the hearth, the lamp
burnt brightly, my clock received me with its old familiar welcome;
everything was quiet, warm and cheering, and in happy contrast to the
gloom and darkness I had quitted.</p>
<p>But all that night, waking or in my sleep, the same thoughts recurred and
the same images retained possession of my brain. I had ever before me the
old dark murky rooms—the gaunt suits of mail with their ghostly
silent air—the faces all awry, grinning from wood and stone—the
dust and rust and worm that lives in wood—and alone in the midst of
all this lumber and decay and ugly age, the beautiful child in her gentle
slumber, smiling through her light and sunny dreams.</p>
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