<p><SPAN name="chap73"></SPAN></p>
<h3> CHAPTER 73 </h3>
<p class="pfirst"><span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">T</span>he magic reel, which, rolling on before, has led the chronicler thus far,
now slackens in its pace, and stops. It lies before the goal; the pursuit
is at an end.</p>
<p>It remains but to dismiss the leaders of the little crowd who have borne
us company upon the road, and so to close the journey.</p>
<p>Foremost among them, smooth Sampson Brass and Sally, arm in arm, claim our
polite attention.</p>
<p>Mr Sampson, then, being detained, as already has been shown, by the
justice upon whom he called, and being so strongly pressed to protract his
stay that he could by no means refuse, remained under his protection for a
considerable time, during which the great attention of his entertainer
kept him so extremely close, that he was quite lost to society, and never
even went abroad for exercise saving into a small paved yard. So well,
indeed, was his modest and retiring temper understood by those with whom
he had to deal, and so jealous were they of his absence, that they
required a kind of friendly bond to be entered into by two substantial
housekeepers, in the sum of fifteen hundred pounds a-piece, before they
would suffer him to quit their hospitable roof—doubting, it
appeared, that he would return, if once let loose, on any other terms. Mr
Brass, struck with the humour of this jest, and carrying out its spirit to
the utmost, sought from his wide connection a pair of friends whose joint
possessions fell some halfpence short of fifteen pence, and proffered them
as bail—for that was the merry word agreed upon both sides. These
gentlemen being rejected after twenty-four hours’ pleasantry, Mr Brass
consented to remain, and did remain, until a club of choice spirits called
a Grand Jury (who were in the joke) summoned him to a trial before twelve
other wags for perjury and fraud, who in their turn found him guilty with
a most facetious joy,—nay, the very populace entered into the whim,
and when Mr Brass was moving in a hackney-coach towards the building where
these wags assembled, saluted him with rotten eggs and carcases of
kittens, and feigned to wish to tear him into shreds, which greatly
increased the comicality of the thing, and made him relish it the more, no
doubt.</p>
<p>To work this sportive vein still further, Mr Brass, by his counsel, moved
in arrest of judgment that he had been led to criminate himself, by
assurances of safety and promises of pardon, and claimed the leniency
which the law extends to such confiding natures as are thus deluded. After
solemn argument, this point (with others of a technical nature, whose
humorous extravagance it would be difficult to exaggerate) was referred to
the judges for their decision, Sampson being meantime removed to his
former quarters. Finally, some of the points were given in Sampson’s
favour, and some against him; and the upshot was, that, instead of being
desired to travel for a time in foreign parts, he was permitted to grace
the mother country under certain insignificant restrictions.</p>
<p>These were, that he should, for a term of years, reside in a spacious
mansion where several other gentlemen were lodged and boarded at the
public charge, who went clad in a sober uniform of grey turned up with
yellow, had their hair cut extremely short, and chiefly lived on gruel and
light soup. It was also required of him that he should partake of their
exercise of constantly ascending an endless flight of stairs; and, lest
his legs, unused to such exertion, should be weakened by it, that he
should wear upon one ankle an amulet or charm of iron. These conditions
being arranged, he was removed one evening to his new abode, and enjoyed,
in common with nine other gentlemen, and two ladies, the privilege of
being taken to his place of retirement in one of Royalty’s own carriages.</p>
<p>Over and above these trifling penalties, his name was erased and blotted
out from the roll of attorneys; which erasure has been always held in
these latter times to be a great degradation and reproach, and to imply
the commission of some amazing villany—as indeed it would seem to be
the case, when so many worthless names remain among its better records,
unmolested.</p>
<p>Of Sally Brass, conflicting rumours went abroad. Some said with confidence
that she had gone down to the docks in male attire, and had become a
female sailor; others darkly whispered that she had enlisted as a private
in the second regiment of Foot Guards, and had been seen in uniform, and
on duty, to wit, leaning on her musket and looking out of a sentry-box in
St James’s Park, one evening. There were many such whispers as these in
circulation; but the truth appears to be that, after the lapse of some
five years (during which there is no direct evidence of her having been
seen at all), two wretched people were more than once observed to crawl at
dusk from the inmost recesses of St Giles’s, and to take their way along
the streets, with shuffling steps and cowering shivering forms, looking
into the roads and kennels as they went in search of refuse food or
disregarded offal. These forms were never beheld but in those nights of
cold and gloom, when the terrible spectres, who lie at all other times in
the obscene hiding-places of London, in archways, dark vaults and cellars,
venture to creep into the streets; the embodied spirits of Disease, and
Vice, and Famine. It was whispered by those who should have known, that
these were Sampson and his sister Sally; and to this day, it is said, they
sometimes pass, on bad nights, in the same loathsome guise, close at the
elbow of the shrinking passenger.</p>
<p>The body of Quilp being found—though not until some days had elapsed—an
inquest was held on it near the spot where it had been washed ashore. The
general supposition was that he had committed suicide, and, this appearing
to be favoured by all the circumstances of his death, the verdict was to
that effect. He was left to be buried with a stake through his heart in
the centre of four lonely roads.</p>
<p>It was rumoured afterwards that this horrible and barbarous ceremony had
been dispensed with, and that the remains had been secretly given up to
Tom Scott. But even here, opinion was divided; for some said Tom dug them
up at midnight, and carried them to a place indicated to him by the widow.
It is probable that both these stories may have had their origin in the
simple fact of Tom’s shedding tears upon the inquest—which he
certainly did, extraordinary as it may appear. He manifested, besides, a
strong desire to assault the jury; and being restrained and conducted out
of court, darkened its only window by standing on his head upon the sill,
until he was dexterously tilted upon his feet again by a cautious beadle.</p>
<p>Being cast upon the world by his master’s death, he determined to go
through it upon his head and hands, and accordingly began to tumble for
his bread. Finding, however, his English birth an insurmountable obstacle
to his advancement in this pursuit (notwithstanding that his art was in
high repute and favour), he assumed the name of an Italian image lad, with
whom he had become acquainted; and afterwards tumbled with extraordinary
success, and to overflowing audiences.</p>
<p>Little Mrs Quilp never quite
forgave herself the one deceit that lay so heavy on her conscience, and
never spoke or thought of it but with bitter tears. Her husband had no
relations, and she was rich. He had made no will, or she would probably
have been poor. Having married the first time at her mother’s instigation,
she consulted in her second choice nobody but herself. It fell upon a
smart young fellow enough; and as he made it a preliminary condition that
Mrs Jiniwin should be thenceforth an out-pensioner, they lived together
after marriage with no more than the average amount of quarrelling, and
led a merry life upon the dead dwarf’s money.</p>
<p>Mr and Mrs Garland, and Mr Abel, went out as usual (except that there was
a change in their household, as will be seen presently), and in due time
the latter went into partnership with his friend the notary, on which
occasion there was a dinner, and a ball, and great extent of dissipation.
Unto this ball there happened to be invited the most bashful young lady
that was ever seen, with whom Mr Abel happened to fall in love. HOW it
happened, or how they found it out, or which of them first communicated
the discovery to the other, nobody knows. But certain it is that in course
of time they were married; and equally certain it is that they were the
happiest of the happy; and no less certain it is that they deserved to be
so. And it is pleasant to write down that they reared a family; because
any propagation of goodness and benevolence is no small addition to the
aristocracy of nature, and no small subject of rejoicing for mankind at
large.</p>
<p>The pony preserved his character for independence and principle down to
the last moment of his life; which was an unusually long one, and caused
him to be looked upon, indeed, as the very Old Parr of ponies. He often
went to and fro with the little phaeton between Mr Garland’s and his
son’s, and, as the old people and the young were frequently together, had
a stable of his own at the new establishment, into which he would walk of
himself with surprising dignity. He condescended to play with the
children, as they grew old enough to cultivate his friendship, and would
run up and down the little paddock with them like a dog; but though he
relaxed so far, and allowed them such small freedoms as caresses, or even
to look at his shoes or hang on by his tail, he never permitted any one
among them to mount his back or drive him; thus showing that even their
familiarity must have its limits, and that there were points between them
far too serious for trifling.</p>
<p>He was not unsusceptible of warm attachments in his later life, for when
the good bachelor came to live with Mr Garland upon the clergyman’s
decease, he conceived a great friendship for him, and amiably submitted to
be driven by his hands without the least resistance. He did no work for
two or three years before he died, but lived in clover; and his last act
(like a choleric old gentleman) was to kick his doctor.</p>
<p>Mr Swiveller, recovering very slowly from his illness, and entering into
the receipt of his annuity, bought for the Marchioness a handsome stock of
clothes, and put her to school forthwith, in redemption of the vow he had
made upon his fevered bed. After casting about for some time for a name
which should be worthy of her, he decided in favour of Sophronia Sphynx,
as being euphonious and genteel, and furthermore indicative of mystery.
Under this title the Marchioness repaired, in tears, to the school of his
selection, from which, as she soon distanced all competitors, she was
removed before the lapse of many quarters to one of a higher grade. It is
but bare justice to Mr Swiveller to say, that, although the expenses of
her education kept him in straitened circumstances for half a dozen years,
he never slackened in his zeal, and always held himself sufficiently
repaid by the accounts he heard (with great gravity) of her advancement,
on his monthly visits to the governess, who looked upon him as a literary
gentleman of eccentric habits, and of a most prodigious talent in
quotation.</p>
<p>In a word, Mr Swiveller kept the Marchioness at this establishment until
she was, at a moderate guess, full nineteen years of age—
good-looking, clever, and good-humoured; when he began to consider
seriously what was to be done next. On one of his periodical visits, while
he was revolving this question in his mind, the Marchioness came down to
him, alone, looking more smiling and more fresh than ever. Then, it
occurred to him, but not for the first time, that if she would marry him,
how comfortable they might be! So Richard asked her; whatever she said, it
wasn’t No; and they were married in good earnest that day week. Which gave
Mr Swiveller frequent occasion to remark at divers subsequent periods that
there had been a young lady saving up for him after all.</p>
<p>A little cottage at Hampstead being to let, which had in its garden a
smoking-box, the envy of the civilised world, they agreed to become its
tenants, and, when the honey-moon was over, entered upon its occupation.
To this retreat Mr Chuckster repaired regularly every Sunday to spend the
day—usually beginning with breakfast—and here he was the great
purveyor of general news and fashionable intelligence. For some years he
continued a deadly foe to Kit, protesting that he had a better opinion of
him when he was supposed to have stolen the five-pound note, than when he
was shown to be perfectly free of the crime; inasmuch as his guilt would
have had in it something daring and bold, whereas his innocence was but
another proof of a sneaking and crafty disposition. By slow degrees,
however, he was reconciled to him in the end; and even went so far as to
honour him with his patronage, as one who had in some measure reformed,
and was therefore to be forgiven. But he never forgot or pardoned that
circumstance of the shilling; holding that if he had come back to get
another he would have done well enough, but that his returning to work out
the former gift was a stain upon his moral character which no penitence or
contrition could ever wash away.</p>
<p>Mr Swiveller, having always been in some measure of a philosophic and
reflective turn, grew immensely contemplative, at times, in the
smoking-box, and was accustomed at such periods to debate in his own mind
the mysterious question of Sophronia’s parentage. Sophronia herself
supposed she was an orphan; but Mr Swiveller, putting various slight
circumstances together, often thought Miss Brass must know better than
that; and, having heard from his wife of her strange interview with Quilp,
entertained sundry misgivings whether that person, in his lifetime, might
not also have been able to solve the riddle, had he chosen. These
speculations, however, gave him no uneasiness; for Sophronia was ever a
most cheerful, affectionate, and provident wife to him; and Dick
(excepting for an occasional outbreak with Mr Chuckster, which she had the
good sense rather to encourage than oppose) was to her an attached and
domesticated husband. And they played many hundred thousand games of
cribbage together. And let it be added, to Dick’s honour, that, though we
have called her Sophronia, he called her the Marchioness from first to
last; and that upon every anniversary of the day on which he found her in
his sick room, Mr Chuckster came to dinner, and there was great
glorification.</p>
<p>The gamblers, Isaac List and Jowl, with their trusty confederate Mr James
Groves of unimpeachable memory, pursued their course with varying success,
until the failure of a spirited enterprise in the way of their profession,
dispersed them in various directions, and caused their career to receive a
sudden check from the long and strong arm of the law. This defeat had its
origin in the untoward detection of a new associate—young Frederick
Trent—who thus became the unconscious instrument of their punishment
and his own.</p>
<p>For the young man himself, he rioted abroad for a brief term, living by
his wits—which means by the abuse of every faculty that worthily
employed raises man above the beasts, and so degraded, sinks him far below
them. It was not long before his body was recognised by a stranger, who
chanced to visit that hospital in Paris where the drowned are laid out to
be owned; despite the bruises and disfigurements which were said to have
been occasioned by some previous scuffle. But the stranger kept his own
counsel until he returned home, and it was never claimed or cared for.</p>
<p>The younger brother, or the single gentleman, for that designation is more
familiar, would have drawn the poor schoolmaster from his lone retreat,
and made him his companion and friend. But the humble village teacher was
timid of venturing into the noisy world, and had become fond of his
dwelling in the old churchyard. Calmly happy in his school, and in the
spot, and in the attachment of Her little mourner, he pursued his quiet
course in peace; and was, through the righteous gratitude of his friend—let
this brief mention suffice for that—a POOR school-master no more.</p>
<p>That friend—single gentleman, or younger brother, which you will—had
at his heart a heavy sorrow; but it bred in him no misanthropy or monastic
gloom. He went forth into the world, a lover of his kind. For a long, long
time, it was his chief delight to travel in the steps of the old man and
the child (so far as he could trace them from her last narrative), to halt
where they had halted, sympathise where they had suffered, and rejoice
where they had been made glad. Those who had been kind to them, did not
escape his search. The sisters at the school—they who were her
friends, because themselves so friendless—Mrs Jarley of the
wax-work, Codlin, Short—he found them all; and trust me, the man who
fed the furnace fire was not forgotten.</p>
<p>Kit’s story having got abroad, raised him up a host of friends, and many
offers of provision for his future life. He had no idea at first of ever
quitting Mr Garland’s service; but, after serious remonstrance and advice
from that gentleman, began to contemplate the possibility of such a change
being brought about in time. A good post was procured for him, with a
rapidity which took away his breath, by some of the gentlemen who had
believed him guilty of the offence laid to his charge, and who had acted
upon that belief. Through the same kind agency, his mother was secured
from want, and made quite happy. Thus, as Kit often said, his great
misfortune turned out to be the source of all his subsequent prosperity.</p>
<p>Did Kit live a single man all his days, or did he marry? Of course he
married, and who should be his wife but Barbara? And the best of it was,
he married so soon that little Jacob was an uncle, before the calves of
his legs, already mentioned in this history, had ever been encased in
broadcloth pantaloons,—though that was not quite the best either,
for of necessity the baby was an uncle too. The delight of Kit’s mother
and of Barbara’s mother upon the great occasion is past all telling;
finding they agreed so well on that, and on all other subjects, they took
up their abode together, and were a most harmonious pair of friends from
that time forth. And hadn’t Astley’s cause to bless itself for their all
going together once a quarter—to the pit—and didn’t Kit’s
mother always say, when they painted the outside, that Kit’s last treat
had helped to that, and wonder what the manager would feel if he but knew
it as they passed his house!</p>
<p>When Kit had children six and seven years old, there was a Barbara among
them, and a pretty Barbara she was. Nor was there wanting an exact
facsimile and copy of little Jacob, as he appeared in those remote times
when they taught him what oysters meant. Of course there was an Abel, own
godson to the Mr Garland of that name; and there was a Dick, whom Mr
Swiveller did especially favour. The little group would often gather round
him of a night and beg him to tell again that story of good Miss Nell who
died. This, Kit would do; and when they cried to hear it, wishing it
longer too, he would teach them how she had gone to Heaven, as all good
people did; and how, if they were good, like her, they might hope to be
there too, one day, and to see and know her as he had done when he was
quite a boy. Then, he would relate to them how needy he used to be, and
how she had taught him what he was otherwise too poor to learn, and how
the old man had been used to say ‘she always laughs at Kit;’ at which they
would brush away their tears, and laugh themselves to think that she had
done so, and be again quite merry.</p>
<p>He sometimes took them to the street where she had lived; but new
improvements had altered it so much, it was not like the same. The old
house had been long ago pulled down, and a fine broad road was in its
place. At first he would draw with his stick a square upon the ground to
show them where it used to stand. But he soon became uncertain of the
spot, and could only say it was thereabouts, he thought, and these
alterations were confusing.</p>
<p>Such are the changes which a few years bring about, and so do things pass
away, like a tale that is told!</p>
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