Back Aa

Coo-ee Reciter

Close

<h2 id="DROUGHT_AND_DOCTRINE">DROUGHT AND DOCTRINE.</h2> By J. Brunton Stephens. (By kind permission of the publishers, Messrs. Angus and Robertson, Sydney and Melbourne.) <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> Come, take the tenner, doctor ... yes, I know the bill says "five," But it ain't as if you'd merely kep' our little 'un alive; Man, you saved the mother's reason when you saved that baby's life, An' it's thanks to you I ha'n't a ravin' idiot for a wife. </div> <div class="stanza"> Let me tell you all the story, an' if then you think it strange, That I'd like to fee ye extry—why, I'll take the bloomin' change. If yer bill had said a hundred ... I'm a poor man, doc., and yet I'd 'a' slaved till I had squared it; ay, an' still been in yer debt. [21]</div> <div class="stanza"> Well, you see, the wife's got notions on a heap o' things that ain't To be handled by a man as don't pretend to be a saint; So I minds "the cultivation," smokes my pipe an' makes no stir, An' religion an' such p'ints I lays entirely on to her. </div> <div class="stanza"> No, she's got it fixed within her that, if children die afore They've been sprinkled by the parson, they've no show for evermore; An' though they're spared the pitchfork, the brimstun, an' the smoke, They ain't allowed to mix up there with other little folk. </div> <div class="stanza"> So when our last began to pine, an' lost his pretty smile, An' not a parson to be had within a hunder mile— (For though there is a chapel down at Bluegrass Creek, you know, The clargy's there on dooty only thrice a year or so)— </div> <div class="stanza"> Well, when our yet unchristen'd mite grew limp, an' thin, an' pale, It would 'a' cut you to the heart to hear the mother wail About her "unregenerate babe," an' how, if it should go, 'Twould have no chance with them as had their registers to show. </div> <div class="stanza"> Then awful quiet she grew, an' hadn't spoken for a week, When in came brother Bill one day with news from Bluegrass Creek.[22] "I seen," says he, "a notice on the chapel railin' tied; They'll have service there this evenin'—can the youngster stand the ride? </div> <div class="stanza"> For we can't have parson here, if it be true, as I've heard say, There's a dyin' man as wants him more'n twenty mile away; So"—He hadn't time to finish ere the child was out of bed, With a shawl about its body an' a hood upon its head. </div> <div class="stanza"> "Saddle up," the missus said. I did her biddin' like a bird. Perhaps I thought it foolish, but I never said a word; For though I have a vote in what the kids eat, drink, or wear, Their sperritual requirements are entirely her affair. </div> <div class="stanza"> We started on our two hours' ride beneath a burnin' sun, With Aunt Sal and Bill for sureties to renounce the Evil One; An' a bottle in Sal's basket that was labelled "Fine Old Tom" Held the water that regeneration was to follow from. </div> <div class="stanza"> For Bluegrass Creek was dry, as Bill that very day had found, An' not a sup o' water to be had for miles around; So, to make salvation sartin for the babby's little soul, We had filled a dead marine, sir, at the fam'ly waterhole.[23] Which every forty rods or so Sal raised it to her head, An' took a snifter, "just enough to wet her lips," she said; Whereby it came to pass that when we reached the chapel door, There was only what would serve the job, an' deuce a dribble more. </div> <div class="stanza"> The service had begun—we didn't like to carry in A vessel with so evident a carritur for gin; So we left it in the porch, an', havin' done our level best, Went an' owned to bein' "mis'rable offenders" with the rest. </div> <div class="stanza"> An' nigh upon the finish, when the parson had been told That a lamb was waitin' there to be admitted to the fold, Rememberin' the needful, I gets up an' quietly slips To the porch to see—a swagsman—with our bottle at his lips! </div> <div class="stanza"> Such a faintness came all over me, you might have then an' there Knocked me down, sir, with a feather or tied me with a hair. Doc., I couldn't speak nor move; an' though I caught the beggar's eye, With a wink he turned the bottle bottom up an' drank it dry. </div> <div class="stanza"> An' then he flung it from him, bein' suddintly aware That the label on't was merely a deloosion an' a snare;[24] An' the crash cut short the people in the middle of "A-men," An' all the congregation heard him holler "Sold again!" </div> <div class="stanza"> So that christ'nin' was a failure; every water-flask was drained; Ev'n the monkey in the vestry not a blessed drop contained; An' the parson in a hurry cantered off upon his mare, Leavin' baby unregenerate, an' missus in despair. </div> <div class="stanza"> That night the child grew worse, but all my care was for the wife; I feared more for her reason than for that wee spark o' life.... But you know the rest—how Providence contrived that very night That a doctor should come cadgin' at our shanty for a light.... </div> <div class="stanza"> Baby? Oh, he's chirpy, thank ye—been baptised—his name is Bill. It's weeks and weeks since parson came an' put him through the mill; An' his mother's mighty vain upon the subjick of his weight, An' reg'lar cock-a-hoop about his sperritual state. </div> <div class="stanza"> So now you'll take the tenner. Oh, confound the bloomin' change! Lord, had Billy died!—but, doctor, don't you think it summut strange That them as keeps the gate would have refused to let him in Because a fool mistook a drop of Adam's ale for gin? </div> </div> <hr class="chap" /> [25] <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

1 of 2

2 of 2