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Life of Lazarillo de Tormes (Markham translation)

<h3>FOURTH MASTER</h3> HOW LAZARO TOOK SERVICE WITH A FRIAR OF THE ORDER OF MERCY, AND WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM. I had to seek for my fourth master. He was a friar of the Order of Mercy, who was pointed out to me by my girl-friends. They called him a relation. He was a great enemy of the choir, and of having his meals in the convent. He was fond of walking about, of secular business, and of paying visits, so much so that I think he wore out more shoes than any one else in the convent. The friar gave me the first shoes I ever burst in my life. They did not last eight days. I could not endure so much trotting about. For this reason, and some other little things I will not mention, I left him. <hr class="chap0" /> <div class="chapter pt3" id="Ch_11"> [p. 84] <h2 class="nobreak">FIFTH MASTER</h2> HOW LAZARO TOOK SERVICE WITH A SELLER OF PAPAL INDULGENCES </div> My fifth master chanced to be a man engaged in the sale of Papal Indulgences.[26] He was the most shameless and impudent distributor of them that ever I saw or hope to see, nor do I believe that any one else ever saw one like him. For he had and sought out his own modes and methods, and very cunning inventions. Coming to the place where he wanted to effect the sales, he began by making trifling presents to the clergy, but nothing of any great value: a lettuce of Murcia if it was the season, a couple of lemons or oranges, a peach, a couple of nectarines, or some green pears. In this way he got them into good humour for favouring his business, and inducing their parishioners to buy his Indulgences. [p. 85] Subtle contrivances of the seller of Indulgences.If they said that they understood Latin, he did not say a word in that language, for fear of stumbling, but he resorted a gentle and well-considered way of telling his story, with a most seductive tongue. If he found that the clergy were of the reverend class, he talked to them in Latin for two hours, at least what appeared like Latin, though it might not have been so. When the people did not buy the Indulgences freely, he sought how to make them do so by bringing trouble on their village. At other times he tried cunning tricks. But as all his devices would take long to relate, I will only recount one that was specially subtle, and proved his sufficiency. He had preached for two or three days in a village near Toledo, using all his accustomed arts, but no one had bought an Indulgence, nor was there any sign of an intention to do so. He had devoted them all to the Devil, and was meditating what to do next, when he determined to call the parishioners together the next morning and make a last effort. Sham quarrel between the seller of Indulgences and the constable.That night he and the constable,[27] after supper,[p. 86] sat down to play at cards, and they began to quarrel over the game, and make use of bad language. The seller of Indulgences called the constable a thief, and the constable called him a liar. On this my master took up a lance which was in the doorway. The constable put his hand on his sword. At the row they were making the guests and neighbours came and got between them. In great fury the combatants struggled to free themselves and get at each other. But as the place was full of people they saw that they would be prevented from fighting, so they again resorted to abusive language. Among other things the constable said to my master that he was a liar, and that the Indulgences about which he preached were false. At last the people, as they could not pacify the disputants, determined to take the constable away. Thus my master was left in a great rage. Later on the guests and neighbours entreated him to moderate his anger and go to bed, which in the end we all did. When morning came my master went to the church to arrange about the Mass, and about preaching the sermon to announce the Indulgences. The people assembled, but they came murmuring at the Indulgences,[p. 87] saying that they were false, and that the constable himself had found it out. If before they disliked buying them they now detested the idea. The seller of Indulgences begins his sermon.The commissary or seller of Indulgences went up into the pulpit, and began his sermon by urging the people not to fail in getting the benefit of such a blessing and such Indulgences as the sacred Bull brought them. When he was in the middle of his sermon the constable entered by the door of the church, and when he had said a prayer, he got up and addressed the people in a loud voice. “Good people,” he said, “hear one word from me, and then listen to any one you like. I came here with this cheat who is preaching to you, and he deceived me. He said that I should help him in this business, and that we would divide the profits. Now see the harm he would have done to my conscience and to your pockets. Sham denunciation of the Indulgences by the constable.I plainly declare to you that the Indulgences he is preaching about are false, and that you should not believe in them nor buy them. I will not be a party to it, directly nor indirectly. From this time I give up the wand of office and put it on the ground. If hereafter this man is punished for his falsehoods, you must be my witness that I am not a party to them,[p. 88] and have neither aided nor abetted them. On the contrary, I have undeceived you and exposed his imposture.” Then he concluded his speech. Some respectable men wanted to take the constable and turn him out of the church to avoid scandal. But my master raised his hand and ordered that no one should molest him on pain of excommunication. He declared that the constable must be allowed to say whatever he liked. When the constable had finished, my master asked him whether he wanted to say anything more. The constable replied, “I could say a good deal more about your falsehoods, but this will do for the present.” The commissary then knelt down in the pulpit, clasped his hands, turned his eyes up, and said: “O Lord! from whom nothing is hidden, and to whom all things are known, to whom nothing is impossible but all things are possible, Thou knowest the truth and how unjustly I have been accused. All that concerns myself I freely pardon, as Thou, Lord, hast pardoned me. Look not at this man who knows not what he does or says. I only pray for justice. Some who are present may perchance have intended to take these holy Indulgences, and on hearing the false words of that man they may have changed their minds.[p. 89] So I pray to Thee, O Lord, that Thou wilt work a miracle in this way. Sham miracle worked on the constable.If what my accuser says is true, that I am evil and false, let this pulpit sink from me forty feet under ground, and never appear again. But if what I say is true, and that man is persuaded by the Devil to try to deprive those present of such great benefits, let him be punished, that all may know his malice.” Scarcely had my devout master finished his speech when the bad constable fell to the ground with such a noise that the church resounded. Then he began to groan and foam at the mouth, making hideous faces, throwing about his arms and legs, and rolling about on the ground. The noise made by the people was so great that they could not hear each other speak. Some were astounded and terrified. Others cried to God for help. A few, not without trepidation, took his arms and held his legs, for there is not a mule in the world that could have given fiercer kicks. So they held him for a long time, there being more than fifteen men keeping him down, and to all he gave blows, and, if they were not careful, kicks also. All this time my master was on his knees in the pulpit, with hands and eyes raised to heaven, transported by the divine essence.[p. 90] The noise and disturbance in the church had no effect on his sacred contemplations. The people intercede for the constable.Some good men came to him, and, speaking loudly to arouse him, entreated him to succour that poor creature who was dying. They besought him not to dwell upon things that were past, and not to consider his evil deeds, as he had been punished. They prayed to him that, if he could do any good, he would deliver the man from his sufferings for the love of God. They declared that they clearly saw the sin of the culprit, and my master’s truth and goodness, but entreated him to pray to the Lord not to prolong the man’s punishment. All the people pray for the constable to be forgiven.The commissary, like one awaking from a delicious dream, looking long at the culprit and at those who were round him, then said: “My good friends, you have interceded for a man on whom God has so signally laid his Hands. But He has enjoined us not to return evil for evil, and to pardon injuries. We may confidently pray that His goodness will pardon this offender who has tried to put obstacles into the working of His holy faith. Let us all pray for this.” He then came down from the pulpit, and desired that all should pray very devoutly to our Lord to pardon that sinner, and restore him[p. 91] to health and sound judgment, delivering him from the Devil, if, for his great sin, the Evil One had been permitted to enter into him. All went down on their knees before the altar, while the clergy began to chant a litany in a low voice, coming with a cross and the holy water, after singing over it. My master raised his hands to heaven, and turned his eyes up until scarcely anything could be seen but the whites. The farce is carried on to completion.He then commenced an address not less long than devout, which made the people weep as they do over a sermon on the Passion delivered by a famous preacher. He prayed to the Lord not to require the death of the sinner, but rather to give his life back to one who had been led away by the Devil, that, being convinced of his sin unto death, he might receive pardon, life, and health, and that he might repent and confess. This done, he would receive the Indulgence. Presently the sinful constable began gradually to recover until he was himself again. When he was well, he fell at the feet of the commissary asking for pardon, and confessing that what he had said was by order of the Devil, to do my master harm and to be avenged on him, but principally because the Devil was very much annoyed at the good that[p. 92] was done by the Indulgences being received. My master pardoned him, and signs of friendship were passed between them. Then there was such eagerness to buy the Indulgences that scarcely a soul in the place was without one—husbands and wives, sons and daughters, boys and girls. The news of what had happened soon spread to the neighbouring villages, and when we came to them it was not necessary to preach nor even to go to church. In ten or twelve villages of that neighbourhood where we were, my master sold as many thousand Indulgences, without having to preach a single sermon. When he performed this farce, I confess that I was astounded and believed like many others. Lazaro was behind the scenes.But afterwards I was a witness to the jokes and laughter that my master and the constable had over the business. I knew how it had been planned and arranged by the industry and inventive talent of my master. Though only a boy I fell into thought, and said to myself, “How many more tricks will the rogues play on these innocent people!” I was nearly four months with my fifth master, during which I also suffered plenty of hardships. <div class="figcenter mt1" id="p093"> [p. 93] <ANTIMG src="images/pb093.jpg" alt="Illustration" /> <img src="images/xpnd.jpg" alt="Enlarge" title="Enlarge" />  “The news soon spread to the neighbouring villages.” </div> <hr class="chap0" /> <div class="chapter pt3" id="Ch_12"> [p. 95] <h2 class="nobreak">SIXTH MASTER</h2> HOW LAZARO TOOK SERVICE WITH A CHAPLAIN AND HOW HE PROSPERED </div> After this I took service with a master who painted tumbrels. My duty was to grind the colours, and here also I suffered many evil things. Having now grown to be a fine lad, I went into the principal church, and one of the chaplains took me to be his servant. He gave me charge of a donkey, four jars, and a whip. So I began to carry water for the city. This was the first step I ascended, to reach a decent life. For I gave thirty maravedis of profit to my master every day, and on Saturdays I was allowed the profits for myself, and everything else beyond the thirty maravedis a day. I went on so well that at the end of four years I had put something by, and was able to dress myself very well. I bought a doublet of fustian, a coat with sleeves, and a woollen cloak, as well as a sword. Shortly I[p. 96] saw myself clothed like a respectable man. I said to my master that he might take the donkey, as I did not intend to follow that occupation any longer. <div class="figcenter mt2" id="p096"> <ANTIMG src="images/pb096.jpg" alt="Illustration" /></div> <hr class="chap0" /> <div class="chapter pt3" id="Ch_13"> [p. 97] <h2 class="nobreak">SEVENTH MASTER</h2> HOW LAZARO TOOK SERVICE WITH A CONSTABLE AND WHAT HAPPENED AFTERWARDS </div> Having taken leave of the chaplain, I entered the service of a constable, but stayed a very short time with him, for my occupation appeared to me to be dangerous, especially one night when we were attacked with stones and sticks. They treated my master badly, but they could not catch me. This business made me retire from the constable’s service. Thinking how I should live so as to find some rest and save a little for my old age, it pleased God to enlighten me, and to put me on a profitable road. With the favour of friends and patrons all my labours and hardships, up to that time, were repaid, on reaching what I sought and obtained. Lazaro gets a Government appointment, and is married.This was a Government appointment such as enabled no one to thrive except those who occupied it. In it I live and reside to this day, in the service of God and your Honour.[p. 98] My duty is to have charge of the inspection of wine that is sold in this city, as well at public sales as elsewhere, also to accompany those who are condemned for default, and to cry out their transgressions, being a crier speaking in good Castilian. It has happened also that almost everything appertaining to the office passes through my hands, throughout the whole city. He who wants to draw wine for sale may reckon on deriving little profit, unless Lazaro de Tormes is consulted in the matter. At this time his Honour the Archpriest of St. Saviour’s,[28] my lord and the friend of your worship, seeing my cleverness and noticing my presentable appearance when employed by him in announcing his wines, made an arrangement that I should marry one of his servant girls. Seeing myself that this would bring me benefits and favours, I gave my consent. I was married to her, and to this day I have had no reason to repent it, for I[p. 99] found her to be a good girl and diligent in service. I have favour and help from my lord the Archpriest. He always gives us during the year a load of wheat, meat on festivals, sometimes loaves of fine bread, and the shoes he has left off wearing. He arranged for us to rent a small house near his own. On almost every Sunday and on feast days we dine in his house. Evil tongues.But evil tongues are never wanting, and never let people live in peace. They said I know not what about my wife, because she went to make the bed and cook the dinner, and in this they spoke the truth, but she was not a woman who would give occasion for their scoffing. My lord the Archpriest had promised what I think he will perform, and one day he spoke to me fully on the subject. “Lazaro de Tormes,” he said, “he who listens to evil tongues will never prosper. I say this because your wife may be seen entering my house and leaving it. She comes with honour to herself and to you, and this I promise you. Do not attend to what they say, and be assured that what I tell you is for your good.” I replied that I was determined to care for and preserve my honesty. “It is true,” I said, “that some of my friends have spoken to me[p. 100] about this, and have even certified to me that before I was married to my wife she had borne a child three times, speaking with reverence to your Worship.” My wife took such oaths on the subject that I thought the house would come down upon us, and then she began to weep and to curse the day she had married me. She went on in such a way that I wished I had died before I let such words out of my mouth. <div class="figcenter mt1" id="p101"> <ANTIMG src="images/pb101.jpg" alt="Illustration" /> <img src="images/xpnd.jpg" alt="Enlarge" title="Enlarge" />  “But evil tongues are never wanting.” </div> I on one side and the Archpriest on the other entreated her to leave off crying, and I swore that never in all my life would I refer to the matter again. I declared that I should rejoice to see her go in and out of our patron’s house whenever she liked, as I was convinced of her honesty. A good understanding.So we all three continued to have a good understanding as to this, and have never heard more about it. When any one tries to say anything I stop him by saying: “Look here! if you are a friend do not say anything that will annoy me, for I do not look upon him as my friend who causes me sorrow, more especially if he tries to make trouble between me and my wife, for she is the thing in the world that I care for most. I love her, and may God show favour to her. She is a far better wife than I deserve, and I swear before the consecrated host that she is as good a woman [p. 103]as can be found within the gates of Toledo. He who says the contrary shall answer to me for it.” By this means I manage that they shall say nothing, and I have peace in my house. Conclusion.This was in the same year that our victorious Emperor entered into this famous city of Toledo, and held the Cortes here,[29] and there were great rejoicings as your Worship will have heard. At this time I was prosperous and at the summit of all good fortune. <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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