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Handy Mandy in Oz

<div class="image-center"> <ANTIMG src="images/illus14.jpg" width-obs="500" height-obs="328" alt=""/></div> <h2>CHAPTER 3 The King of Keretaria</h2> The white ox in his mad dash across the throne room had run violently into a marble pillar, hurling Mandy straight into the arms of a very tall, very stern, and very blue looking monarch. Pages and courtiers tripped and fell left and right in a scramble to get out of the way, while the ox, snorting and trembling, looked balefully over his shoulder at the Goat Girl. "Whu-what is—the—meaning of—this out-rageous in-trusion?" panted the King. "Unhand me, woman! Remove your finger from my eye and your arms—your ARMS! Hi! Hi! Hi!" The King's sentence ended in three frightened squeaks. "Is it a girl or an octopus?" he puffed, heaving up his chest in an endeavor to dislodge Mandy. "Hi! Hi! Hi! Are you going to allow this clumping savage to insult my Majesty in this—er—high-handed manner?" As the Goat Girl, by this time scarlet from anger and mortification, jumped off the King's lap, three very high officials of the Court of Keretaria darted forward. "The High Qui-questioner! The Imperial Persuader! And the Lord High Upper Dupper of the Realm!" bawled a page. Having delivered himself of this impressive announcement the page bolted back of a curtain and from there peered with astonished eyes at the visitor. Everyone in the grand blue throne room looked frightened and ready to run at a moment's notice. Wondering what could be the matter with them all, Mandy with many misgivings watched the counselors of Keretaria advance in a threatening row. "Now then—not a move!" thundered the High Qui-questioner, tapping her sharply on the shoulder with a golden staff shaped like a huge interrogation point. "It is my duty to question all strangers who ride, fall, fly or break into our Kingdom, and you," the Haughty Nobleman gave Mandy a cold blue stare, "YOU are stranger than any stranger who has ever come to Keretaria." "It is my duty to persuade you to do as his Majesty commands," stated the Imperial Persuader, raising his gold spiked club. "And it is MY duty to put you in your place," sniffed the Lord High Upper Dupper rattling a bunch of keys that hung from his belt. "Well if you ask me," puffed the Ox, rolling his eyes wildly round at the Goat Girl, "her place is in a museum and the sooner you lock her upper dupper, the better." Now Mandy was so astonished to hear the Ox actually speaking, she gave a loud cry and flung up her hands, every single seven of them. "Help! Help!" yelped the Courtiers, scurrying like mice into corners and corridors. Only the white Ox, the King and his Counselors kept their places. "How DARE you come into a King's presence armed in this barbarous fashion?" gasped the High Qui-questioner, taking a step toward the Goat Girl, but too frightened to touch her. "PIGS!" cried Mandy, suddenly losing her temper. "Can I help my seven arms? All of us on Mt. Mern have seven arms and hands and you with your skinny two seem far funnier than I. I am Mandy, the Goat Girl, as anyone in his senses can see." <div class="image-center"> <ANTIMG src="images/illus15.jpg" width-obs="500" height-obs="336" alt=""/></div> "The girl is right," observed the Ox, gazing more attentively at Mandy and now speaking quite calmly, "she can no more help those seven arms than you can help those seven warts on your nose, Questo. I tell you this maiden is a real curiosity and if you three Hi-boys will cease rattling your teeth and your clubs, perhaps she will explain why she has come to Keretaria. I myself shall call her Handy Mandy." "Why, the beast has more sense than its masters," thought the Goat Girl in surprise. "Well," rumbled the King ungraciously, "if you have anything to say before we lock you up, SAY IT, but do not wave your arms about, PLEASE." Swallowing nervously, clasping four of her hands behind her back and stuffing the other three into convenient pockets in her apron, Mandy began to speak. "I was driving my goats home from the mountain, Your Majesty, when the rock on which I was standing exploded suddenly into the air, flew like a bird over hill, valley, and desert and dropped me into your garden—" "And not a bruise nor a bump to show for it," grunted the Imperial Persuader elevating his nose to show he was not taken in by such a tale. In spite of his suspicious glance, Mandy decided to say nothing of the blue flower that had so miraculously softened her fall. "And since when have rocks flown through the air?" inquired the Lord High Upper Dupper sarcastically. "Ahem—in the garden," continued Mandy undaunted by the two interruptions, "I saw this great white ox and thinking to do a bit of honest work for my supper, grasped the plough, but—" <div class="image-center"> <ANTIMG src="images/illus16.jpg" width-obs="255" height-obs="350" alt=""/></div> "That was a little oxident," murmured the great beast in a jovial voice, "for, catching sight of a seven-armed maiden all at once and without warning, I took to my heels and landed her in her present unpleasant predicament. Is that not so, m'lass?" Looking at the Ox with round eyes, Mandy nodded. "But she still has not explained all these arms," complained the Imperial Persuader. "Whoever heard of a seven-handed maiden?" "I have!" asserted Mandy stoutly. "And what, pray, is there to explain? This iron hand—" the Goat Girl raised it slowly and thoughtfully as she spoke, "I use for ironing, lifting hot pots from the stove and all horrid sort of hard work; this leather hand I keep for beating rugs, dusting, sweeping, and so on; this wooden hand I use for churning and digging in the garden; these two red rubber hands for dishwashing and scrubbing, and my two fine white hands I keep for holding and braiding my hair." With all seven hands extended before her, Mandy smiled engagingly up at the King. "Undoubtedly a witch," whispered the Imperial Persuader darkly, as the King in spite of himself gazed curiously down at his seven-armed visitor. "A dangerous character, Your Majesty," hissed the High Qui-questioner, shaking his head disapprovingly. "To the dungeons with her!" rasped the Lord High Upper Dupper, rattling his keys like castanets. <div class="image-center"> <ANTIMG src="images/illus17.jpg" width-obs="500" height-obs="348" alt=""/></div> "WHAT?" bawled the white Ox, stamping all of his gold shod feet in rapid succession. "You mean to consign this marvel of skill and efficiency to a dungeon? What a set of dunces you are! Come, Handy, I myself, will take you for a slave. Out of my way, DOLTS!" Swaggering a bit, and with the golden plough still clanking and bumping behind him, the Ox ambled at a dignified pace toward the door. Mandy, though she did not relish the idea of becoming his slave, was greatly relieved at the interest the Ox was taking in her case, but before following him, she looked inquiringly up at the King. "Yes, GO!" commanded His Majesty harshly, "I hereby give you into the care and service of Nox, the Royal Ox of Keretaria. Harm one hair of his head, and you will pay for it with your life and perish, I promise you, most ignominiously." "Mercy—ercy," muttered Mandy tiptoeing nervously after her new master, "doesn't the fellow know any short words? How queer everything is on this side of the mountain, people with only two arms, animals talking and giving orders to Kings. Suppose the goats at home started bossing the villagers?" And what would the villagers think of her strange flight and reception in Keretaria? Well, from what she herself had seen of Royalty, decided the Goat Girl, she much preferred her goats or even the company of this haughty white Ox. Stepping briskly beside him, Mandy resolved to humor the creature till she saw a bit more of the country or found some safe way back to her mountain. Nox swinging along at his own indolent gait paid no further attention to the Goat Girl, but when they reached his royal quarters, which to Mandy looked more like a castle than a stable, he began bawling so fiercely for the stable boys she decided uncomfortably that being his slave might prove both unpleasant and dangerous. However, when six little boys dressed in blue overalls and aprons ran out, the Royal Ox addressed them quite kindly. The first, without waiting for instructions unhitched the plough and lifted the yoke from the royal shoulders. <div class="image-center"> <ANTIMG src="images/illus18.jpg" width-obs="500" height-obs="334" alt=""/></div> "Prepare Kerry's quarters for my new slave," directed Nox, turning to the second and third. "You others, bring dinner for two, and mind you fetch Handy Mandy everything they have at the King's table." With a playful lunge Nox started them smartly on their way, then moved grandly into the huge stone stable and along to his own luxurious gold-paved stall. "My—y!" exclaimed the Goat Girl, sinking breathlessly to a three legged stool, "how grand and elegant you are here! My—y, I wish What-a-butter could see this!" "One of your goats?" murmured Nox, burying his nose in the huge marble bowl he used for a drinking trough. Mandy nodded. "I wish she were here now!" she added with a rapturous little sigh. "Well, I don't." Deliberately the Royal Ox licked the water from his lips. "Do you suppose I'd allow a miserable goat in my sapphire trimmed stall?" "Miserable!" squealed Mandy, springing off the stool. "What-a-butter's the smartest goat on the mountain; she wouldn't give two bleats and a BAH for an old Hoopadoop like YOU!" "Hoopadoop!" repeated the Ox in a dazed whisper. "Do you mean to stand there and call the Royal Ox of Keretaria a Hoopadoop?" "Yes," said Mandy firmly but backing off a bit as she spoke. "What makes you think you're so much better than a goat even if you do talk, put on airs and have golden horns?" "Well," and to Mandy's surprise and relief, Nox cleared his throat and grinned quite amiably, "after all I AM the Royal Ox, you know, more precious to the King than all his court and subjects. Everyone jumps at my least command, so why shouldn't I put on a few airs? Besides do you think it's polite to call me an old Hoopadoop when I've just saved you from a dungeon?" "No," admitted Mandy, resuming her seat thoughtfully, "I don't suppose it is. Maybe you are as good as a goat," she added with a little burst of generosity. "Oh, thank you! Thank you very much!" Through half closed eyes the Royal Ox looked quizzically at the Goat Girl. "I believe we shall get on famously, m'lass, famously. The truth is, you amuse me no end and so long as you amuse me everything will be smooth as silk. But of course, if you bore me, I will bore you. Oh, positively!" Lowering his head Nox shook his horns playfully. "Now I shouldn't try that, if I were you," advised Mandy, raising her iron hand and cracking the fingers warningly. "For if you do, I might throw things!" "Ha ha! I believe you would." The enormous beast, charmed by so much spirit and independence fairly beamed upon his new slave. "I take it you are pretty good at throwing things." <div class="image-center"> <ANTIMG src="images/illus19.jpg" width-obs="500" height-obs="342" alt=""/></div> "Yes, and at catching them, too." Reaching up, Mandy took seven of the dozen brushes off the shelf above her head. Tossing them all into the air with three of her hands, she caught them easily with the other four. Then dragging her stool closer, she began brushing the coat of her royal charge so hard and vigorously he blinked with pleasure and astonishment. "Will you have your tail plain, curled or plaited?" asked Mandy in a businesslike voice. "Er—er—plain, thank you." With admiration and some alarm, Nox regarded the whirling arms of the Goat Girl, but the four little stable boys, appearing at that moment, stared at her in glassy eyed fright and consternation. For Nox they had brought a tray heaped high with corn and oats and another with fresh sliced apples. For Mandy there were two trays of gold dishes containing a sample of everything from the royal table. Dropping her brushes Mandy seized all the trays at once in her various hands, which so frightened the stable boys they took to their heels yelling at the tops of their voices. Winking at the Royal Ox, Mandy set his supper on the gold stand meant for that purpose, then dropping to the floor before her own two trays began her first dinner in a strange land. And WHAT a strange land, mused Mandy helping herself from the gold dishes with first one hand and then another. "Well, m'lass?" inquired Nox, daintily nibbling his oats and apples. "Is this not better than bread and water in a dungeon cell?" Too full for utterance, Mandy rapturously nodded. <hr class="chap" /> <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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