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Handy Mandy in Oz

<div class="image-center"> <ANTIMG src="images/illus32.jpg" width-obs="500" height-obs="337" alt=""/></div> <h2>CHAPTER 6 Turn Town!</h2> Determined as she was, Handy found it impossible to go straight on, for the lane curved and twisted this way and that, ending finally in a perfect corkscrew turn. The trees on both sides were now so dense Handy and the Royal Ox could not have left the road even had they wished to do so. "We're going round and round and getting nowhere," said Nox in an abused voice. "Of all the roads in Oz why did we have to pick this one?" "Because it dared us, I suppose. Hi—Yi!" exclaimed Handy, leaning against a tree to rest. "I'm dizzy as a bat and hungry as a goat." "Too bad you're not a goat," murmured Nox, who had stopped to nibble the lower branches of a maple. "These leaves are quite tender." "Well, I may come to them," sighed Handy, looking at him enviously. "But shall we go on? I think one more turn will bring us out of here." Handy was right for one more round brought them to the end of corkscrew lane, but only to find themselves facing a high, forbidding wall. There was a gate and turnstile in the wall, and beyond the Goat Girl caught a glimpse of a confused whirling village where everything seemed to be turning round or over. "It's just because I'm so dizzy," thought Handy, clutching her head with her one free hand. But Nox, peering over her shoulder gave a loud and indignant bellow as a house on the corner of the street nearest them turned completely over and began spinning merrily on its chimney, while the fence running round the bakery shop next door started really to run around, kicking up its posts with great glee and abandon. "Hu—what kind of silly place is this?" rumbled the Ox backing hastily away. But Handy Mandy had seen a whole row of little pies in the bakeshop window and motioning vigorously for Nox to follow, stepped over the stile and through the movable gate. It was too much of a squeeze for Nox, but determined not to be left behind, he jumped neatly over. A revolving sign on one of the large public buildings caught their attention at once, but as the building was going one way and the sign another, it was several minutes before they could discover what it said. <div class="image-center"> <ANTIMG src="images/illus33.jpg" width-obs="500" height-obs="323" alt=""/></div> "TURN TOWN!" read the Goat Girl in some surprise. "So that's where we are! And would you loo—ook, every house on every street is going round or over. Mercy—ercy on us and where do you suppose the people are?" "Turning over and over in their beds I take it, it is still quite early, you know," whispered the Royal Ox, speaking cautiously out of the corner of his mouth. "But come on, the streets are not turning, and perhaps if we hurry we can go through before they waken and turn on us. Hurry—hurry—what are you waiting for?" "Food," sighed Handy wistfully. "I thought I might catch us a few pies, Old Toggins. Here, watch my stuff and I'll bring us each some." Nox looked sharply up and down the street as the Goat Girl set down her axe, rake, spade, gun, broom and sword, and started off toward the bakery. Not only the fence but the shop itself was turning now. Handy quite cleverly waited till the gate came opposite her and dashed through, but the open door of the shop kept going by so rapidly she was knocked down several times before she finally darted inside. As she disappeared Nox gave an uneasy snort, but cheered up as the shop window came past and he saw Handy with a pie in every hand, smile at him reassuringly. But alas, the whirling floor of the shop was too much for the Goat Girl and as she started out there was a clatter of broken china and falling furniture. "Great Gazoo, what's she done now?" moaned Nox as Handy leaped through the door and fell sprawling in the little garden. She still had six of the pies clutched in her various hands, but as she jumped up and raced through the garden gate, windows all up and down the street were flung open. From the right side up ones and the down side down ones kinky black heads came popping out by the hundred. "Turn out! Turn out! Topsies turn out!" yelled the excited citizens, their voices going higher and higher. "Thieves, robbers, tramps and Stand-Stillians!" "Here," gasped the Goat Girl reaching Nox in one bound. "Eat these quick and destroy the evidence." Stuffing one of the tarts into her own mouth, Handy made a wry face. "Ugh, TURNIPS!" choked the Goat Girl, dropping the other five in huge disgust. "Whoever heard of turnip turnovers?" "I'll eat them," offered Nox, lapping up the little pies in his stride, "but run—hurry, here come the natives!" But before Handy could snatch up her weapons, the Topsies, hurling out of windows and doors, came whirling down upon them. <div class="image-center"> <ANTIMG src="images/illus34.jpg" width-obs="500" height-obs="316" alt=""/></div> Startled though she was, the Goat Girl could not disguise her interest and curiosity. With one arm round Nox's neck and the other six stretched stiffly before her to keep back the screeching crowd, she stared with round and fascinated eyes. And, no wonder! The Topsies were about as tall as children, but where their feet should have been, they had sharp horny pegs. Another peg of the same description sprung from each kinky head. With their plump hands the small black and blue men and women spun themselves along by cords attached to their round little middles and they kept reversing themselves, spinning first on one end and then another in a manner very upsetting and confusing to their visitors. The hum made by the Topsies' spinning and their loud raucous cries filled the early morning air, and as Handy tried to push her way through the crowd, several butted her with their sharp pegs. "Ouch! Stop that!" bellowed Nox, who had been butted too. "Keep still, m'lass, and sooner or later these little pests will run down." "Turn them out! Turn them in! Turn them round! Turn them over!" shrieked the Topsies hysterically. In the midst of the dreadful confusion, a Topsy taller than all the rest came zooming down the middle of the street. "Look! STAND-STILLIANS!" shouted a round little spinster waving both arms. "Travelers with legs instead of pegs. Robbers! Thieves! And tramps, your Topjesty." "Yes, and they have broken into my shop and stolen all my turnip turnovers," screamed the Topsy Baker, spinning round in indignant circles. "Aha, you wait, here comes Tip-Topper. Now you'll catch it you, you Turnover snatchers, you!" "Now you'll catch it!" shrilled all the rest of the Topsies, spinning faster and faster till Handy and Nox were dizzy just from looking at them. Except for his size and a flag fluttering from the peg on his head, Tip-Topper looked just like his subjects. "Spin! Spin!" he whistled angrily. "What do you mean standing still in the middle of Turn Town? Don't you realize you are breaking every one of our rotary laws? Why are you here—did you come to do us a good turn or a bad?" "Turn 'em down! Turn 'em out! Turn 'em over! Turn 'em round!" insisted the townsmen shrilly. Between the revolving houses and the spinning Topsies, Handy Mandy scarcely knew which foot she was standing on. As for Nox, he gave a great groan and closing his eyes, left everything to his companion. Handy put two hands over her ears and raising all the others, addressed Tip-Topper in a firm and reasonable manner. "Tell your people to stand back," directed the Goat Girl calmly. "All we wish is to pass quietly through your city and never return. NEVER!" she repeated emphatically. It was hard to speak to a person who kept going round and round, but at every third turn Handy managed to catch Tip-Topper's eye and at last he seemed to catch her idea. "Very well, then, GO!" he commanded haughtily. "And at once!" But when Handy, without stopping to pick up her weapons, started forward, perfect shrieks of anger rose on all sides. "Not that way! Not that way. Turn! Turn! Turn!" yelled the Topsies. And getting back of Handy and the Royal Ox, they tried to push them round by main force. <div class="image-center"> <ANTIMG src="images/illus35.jpg" width-obs="500" height-obs="323" alt=""/></div> "Stop! Stop! It's no use," panted Tip-Topper, as Nox letting out a frightful bellow, laid seven Topsies by the pegs with his left hind foot, and Handy with a sweep of her arms swept down ten more. "They're all made wrong. Fetch the Turn Coat, drive them to the turning point and we'll turn them to Topsies in two shakes of a tent pole." "M—mmmmm! M—mmmmm! Did you hear what I heard?" Nox peered desperately around at Handy, who was now spinning dizzily herself, as she was flung and pushed from one group to another. "Could they really turn us to Topsies?" "I don't know! I don't know! Oh my head, my HEAD!" moaned the Goat Girl, clutching it with all hands. "It's going round and round—" "Fine! Fine! That's the way!" cheered the Topsies heartily. "You'll be spinning circles before you know it and have beautiful wool like the rest of us." "Wool!" gasped Handy, who was extremely proud of her shining yellow braids. "Oh, I wool not, that's just too much! Stand back you little buzzards and I'll show you a turn or two myself." "Go ahead," said Turn Uppins, who seemed next in importance to Tip-Topper himself. "It's your turn anyway. Stand back Topsies, and let this waddling whangus show us what she can do." At a signal from their leader the Turn Towners fell back a pace and spinning in a loud agitated circle, impatiently waited for the Goat Girl to take her turn. First Handy shook her head to dispel the dizziness, then with a loud screech, she flung her arms and heels into the air in such a succession of hand springs that even the Topsies were impressed. The seventh brought her back to the Royal Ox and in the center of a now cheering and admiring circle, she turned fifty more so fast that she looked like an animated cartwheel with arms and leg's for spokes. A loud buzz of applause went up as Handy finally fell over from sheer exhaustion, but then they began pointing accusing fingers at Nox. "Look! Look at the stupid Gumflumox, why he hasn't turned a single hair." "How about turning on them," raged Nox, "and tossing a few dozen on my horns? Hop on my back, m'lass, and we'll make a run for it." "No! No! There are too many, we'll be perfectly punctured," worried Handy, as seven Topsies prodded the Royal Ox sharply in the flank. "We might run right into that turning point, too. Wait! Wait! I'll think of something. We don't want to spin on here forever, whatever happens! Whew—hewey, what a dust the little pests kick up. I'd give my best hand for a drink, I'm choking with thirst. Oh! Oh! I wish I were in a river right this minute." Steadying herself by holding to Nox's right horn, Handy faced the angry multitude. "Turn! Turn! Take your turn!" shouted the Topsies incessantly. "Can't you even turn your head old four-leg!" <div class="image-center"> <ANTIMG src="images/illus36.jpg" width-obs="257" height-obs="350" alt=""/></div> "Of course he can," shouted Handy Mandy, clapping six of her hands for silence. "Not only his head, but his horns. Watch this, my friends!" The Goat Girl gave the horn she was leaning on a sharp twist. "Not that one. Not that one!" fumed the Ox anxiously. "Quick, the other—it's the other one, I tell you! Oh, my hide, hair, and Heavens! Ulp! Gurgle Ooooop!" And "Oooop gurgle ULP!" it was with everyone, for at Handy Mandy's second turn, Nox's horn came completely off and as the goat girl held it up for the Topsies to see, out spurted a perfect torrent of water that flooded the whole city till every Turner and Topsy-turvy house in it was awash or afloat. In wild and astonished voices the kinky headed little citizens called out to each other as they bobbed up and down like corks on the raging tide. And just as wet and surprised as the Topsies, the Goat Girl and Nox were swept along by the impetuous flood. <hr class="chap" /> <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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