<h2 id="id01712" style="margin-top: 4em">CHAPTER XXX.</h2>
<h5 id="id01713">SUNRISE.</h5>
<p id="id01714" style="margin-top: 2em">Entranced in amazed ecstasy he lay quite quiet, . . afraid to speak or
stir! This gentle Presence,—this fair, beseeching face, might vanish
if he moved! So he dimly fancied, as he gazed up at her in mute wonder
and worship, his devout eyes drinking in her saintly loveliness, from
the deep burnished gold of her hair to the soft, white slimness of her
prayerfully folded hands. And while he looked, old thoughts like
home-returning birds began to hover round his soul,—sweet and dear
remembrances, like the sunset lighting up the windows of an empty
house, began to shine on the before semi-darkened nooks and crannies of
his brain. Clearer and clearer grew the reflecting mirror of his
consciousness,—trouble and perplexity seemed passing away forever from
his mind, . . a great and solemn peace environed him, . . and he began
to believe he had crossed the boundary of death and had entered at last
into the Kingdom of Heaven! O let him not break this holy silence! …
Let him rest so, with all the glory of that Angel-visage shed like
summer sunbeams over him! … Let him absorb into his innermost being
the exquisite tenderness of those innocent, hopeful, watchful, starry
eyes whose radiance seemed to steal into the golden morning and give it
a sacred poetry and infinite marvel of meaning! So he mused, gravely
contented, … while all through the brightening skies overhead, came
the pale, pink flushing of the dawn, like a far fluttering and
scattering of rose-leaves. Everything was so still that he could hear
his own heart beating forth healthful and regular pulsations, . . but
he was scarcely conscious of his own existence,—he was only aware of
the vast, beautiful, halcyon calm that encircled him shelteringly and
soothed all care away.</p>
<p id="id01715">Gradually, however, this deep and delicious tranquillity began to yield
to a sweeping rush of memory and comprehension, … he knew WHO he was
and WHERE he was,—though he did not as yet feel absolutely certain of
life and life's so-called realities. For if the City of Al-Kyris, with
all its vivid wonders, its distinct experiences, its brilliant
pageantry, had been indeed a DREAM, then sorely it was possible he
might be dreaming still! … Nevertheless he was able to gather up the
fragments of lost recollection consecutively enough to realize, by
gentle degrees, his actual identity and position in the world, . . he
was Theos Alwyn, . . a man of the nineteenth century after Christ. Ah!
thank God for that! … AFTER Christ! … not one who had lived five
thousand years BEFORE Christ's birth! … And this quiet, patient
Maiden at his side, . . who was she? A vision? … or an actually
existent Being? Unable to resist the craving desire of his heart, he
spoke her name as he now remembered it, . . spoke it in a faint, awed
whisper.</p>
<p id="id01716">"Edris!"</p>
<p id="id01717">"Theos, my Beloved!"</p>
<p id="id01718">O sweet and thrilling voice! more musical than the singing of birds in
a sun-filled Spring!</p>
<p id="id01719">He raised himself a little, and looked at her more intently:—she
smiled,—and that smile, so marvellous in its pensive peace and lofty
devotion, was as though all the light of an unguessed paradise had
suddenly flashed upon his soul!</p>
<p id="id01720">"Edris!" he said again, trembling in the excess of mingled hope and
fear … "Hast thou then returned again from heaven, to lift me out of
darkness? … Tell me, fair Angel, do I wake or sleep? … Are my
senses deceived? Is this land a dream? … Am I myself a dream, and
thou the only manifest sweet Truth in a world of drifting shadows! …
Speak to me, gentle Saint! … In what vast mystery have I been
engulfed? … in what timeless trance of soul-bewilderment? … in what
blind uncertainty and pain? … O Sweet! … resolve my wordless
wonder! Where have I strayed? … what have I seen? … Ah, let not my
rough speech fright thee back to Paradise! … Stay with me! …
comfort me! … I have lost thee so long! let me not lose thee now!"</p>
<p id="id01721">Smiling still, she bent over him, and pressed her warm, delicate
ringers lightly on his brow and lips. Then softly she rose and stood
erect.</p>
<p id="id01722">"Fear nothing, my beloved!" she answered, her silvery accents sending a
throb of holy triumph through the air.. "Let no trouble disquiet thee,
and no shadow of misgiving dim the brightness of thy waking moments!
Thou hast slept ONE night on the Field of Ardath, in the Valley of
Vision!—but lo! the Night is past!".. and she pointed toward the
eastern horizon now breaking into waves of rosy gold, "Rise! and behold
the dawning of thy new Day!"</p>
<p id="id01723">Roused by her touch, and fired by her tone and the grand, unworldly
dignity of her look and bearing, he sprang up, . . but as he met the
full, pure splendor of her divine eyes, and saw, wavering round her
hair, a shining aureole of amber radiance like a wreath of woven
sunbeams, his spirit quailed within him, . . he remembered all his
doubts of her,—his disbelief, . . and falling at her feet, he hid his
face in a shame that was better than all glory,—a humiliation that was
sweeter than all pride.</p>
<p id="id01724">"Edris! Immortal Edris!".. he passionately prayed, "As thou art a
crowned saint in Heaven, shed light on the chaos of my soul! From the
depths of a penitence past thought and speech I plead with thee! Hear
me, my Edris, thou who art so maiden-meek, so tender-patient! … hear
me, help me, guide me…I am all thine! Say, didst thou not summon me
to meet thee here upon this wondrous Field of Ardath?—did I not come
hither according to thy words?—and have I not seen things that I am
not able to express or understand? Teach me, wise and beloved one! …
I doubt no more! I know Myself and Thee:—thou art an angel,—but I!
… alas, what am I? A grain of sand in thy sight and in God's, . . a
mere Nothing, comprehending nothing,—unable even to realize the extent
of my own nothingness! Edris, O Edris! … THOU canst not love me! …
thou mayst pity me perchance, and pardon, and bless me gently in
Christ's dear Name! … but love! … THY love! … Oh let me not
aspire to such heights of joy, where I have no place, no right, no
worthiness!"</p>
<p id="id01725">"No worthiness!" echoed Edris! … what a rapture trembled through her
sweet caressing voice!—"My Theos, who is so worthy to win back what is
thine own, as thou? All Heaven has wondered at thy voluntary
exile,—thy place in God's supernal Sphere has long been vacant, . .
thy right to dwell there, none have questioned, … thy throne is
empty—thy crown unclaimed! Thou art an Angel even as I! … but thou
art in bonds while I am free! Ah, how sad and strange it is to me to
see thee here thus fettered to the Sorrowful Star, when, countless
aeons since, thou mightest have enjoyed full liberty in the Eternal
Light of the everlasting Paradise!"</p>
<p id="id01726">He listened, … a strong, sweet hope began to kindle in him like
flame, . . but he made no answer. Only he caught and kissed the edge of
her garment, . . its soft gray cloudy texture brushed his lips with the
odorous coolness of a furled roseleaf. She seemed to tremble at his
action, … but he dared not look up. Presently he felt the pulsing
pressure of her hands upon his head! and a rush of strange, warm vigor
thrilled through his veins like an electric flash of new and
never-ending life.</p>
<p id="id01727">"Thou wouldst seek after and know the truth!" she said, "Truth
Celestial,—Truth Unchangeable, . . Truth that permeates and underlies
all the mystic inward workings of the Universe, . . workings and secret
laws unguessed by Man! Vast as Eternity is this Truth,—ungraspable in
all its manifestations by the merely mortal intelligence, …
nevertheless thy spirit, being chastened to noble humility and
repentance, hath risen to new heights of comprehension, whence thou
canst partly penetrate into the wonders of worlds unseen. Did I not
tell thee to 'LEARN FROM THE PERILS OF THE PAST, THE PERILS OF THE
FUTURE'—and understandest thou not the lesson of the Vision of
Al-Kyris? Thou hast seen the Dream-reflection of thy former Poet-fame
and glory in old time,—THOU WERT SAH-LUMA!"</p>
<p id="id01728">An agony of shame possessed him as he heard. His soul at once seized
the solution of the mystery, . . his quickened thought plunged
plummet-like straight through the depths of the bewildering
phantasmagoria, in which mere reason had been of no practical avail,
and straightway sounded its whole seemingly complex, but actually
simple meaning! HE WAS SAH-LUMA! … or rather, he HAD BEEN Sah-luma in
some far stretch of long-receded time, … and in his Dream of a single
night, he had loved the brilliant Phantom of his Former Self more than
his own present Identity! Not less remarkable was the fact that, in
this strange Sleep-Mirage, he had imagined himself to be perfectly
UNselfish, whereas all the while he had honored, flattered, and admired
the more Appearance of Himself more than anything or everything in the
world! Ay!—even his occasional reluctant reproaches to Himself in the
ghostly impersonation of Sah-luma had been far more tender than severe!</p>
<p id="id01729">O deep and bitter ingloriousness! … O speechless degradation of all
the higher capabilities of Man! to love one's own ephemeral
Shadow-Existence so utterly as to exclude from thought and sympathy all
other things whether human or divine! And was it not possible that this
Spectre of Self might still be clinging to him? Was it dead with the
Dream of Sah-luma? … or had Sah-luma never truly died at all? … and
was the fine, fire-spun Essence that had formed the Spirit of the
Laureate of Al-Kyris yet part of the living Substance of his present
nature, … he, a world-unrecognized English poet of the nineteenth
century? Did all Sah-luma's light follies, idle passions, and careless
cruelties remain inherent in him? Had he the same pride of intellect,
the same vain-glory, the same indifference to God and Man? Oh, no, no!
… he shuddered at the thought! … and his head sank lower and lower
beneath the benediction touch of Her whose tenderness revived his
noblest energies, and lit anew in his heart the pure, bright fire of
heaven-encompassing Aspiration.</p>
<p id="id01730">"THOU WERT SAH-LUMA!" went on the mildly earnest voice, "And all the
wide, ungrudging fame given to Earth's great poets in ancient days, was
thine! Thy name was on all men's mouths, … thou wert honored by
kings, … thou wert the chief glory of a great people, … great
though misled by their own false opinions, … and the City of
Al-Kyris, of which thou wert the enshrined jewel, was mightier far than
any now built upon the earth! Christ had not come to thee, save by dim
types and vague prefigurements which only praying prophets could
discern, … but God had spoken to thy soul in quiet moments, and thou
wouldst neither hear Him nor believe in Him! I had called thee, but
thou wouldst not listen, … thou didst foolishly prefer to hearken to
the clamorous tempting of thine own beguiling human passions, and wert
altogether deaf to an Angel's whisper! Things of the earth earthly
gained dominion over thee … by them thou wert led astray, deceived,
and at last forsaken, … the genius God gave thee thou didst misuse
and indolently waste, … thy brief life came, as thou hast seen, to
sudden-piteous end,—and the proud City of thy dwelling was destroyed
by fire! Not a trace of it was left to mark the spot where once it
stood. The foundations of Babylon were laid above it, and no man
guessed that it had ever been. And thy poems, … the fruit of thy
heaven-sent but carelessly accepted inspiration,—who is there that
remembers them? … No one! … save THOU! THOU hast recovered them
like sunken pearls from the profound ocean of limitless Memory, … and
to the world of To-day thou dost repeat the SELF-SAME MUSIC to which
Al-Kyris listened entranced so many thousands of generations ago!"</p>
<p id="id01731">A deep sigh, that was half a groan, broke from his lips, … he could
now take the measurement of his own utter littleness and incompetency!
HE COULD CREATE NOTHING NEW! Everything he had written, as he fancied
only just lately, had been written by himself before! The problem of
the poem "Nourhalma" … was explained, … he had designed it when he
had played his part on the stage of life as Sah-luma,—and perhaps not
even then for the first time! In this pride-crushing knowledge there
was only one consolation, … namely, that if his Dream was a true
reflection of his Past, and exact in details as he felt it must be,
then "Nourhalma," had not been given to Al-Kyris, … it had been
composed, but not made public. Hence, so far, it was new to the world,
though not new to himself. Yet he had considered it wondrously new! a
"perfectly original" idea! … Ah! who dares to boast of any idea as
humanly "original" … seeing that all ideas whatsoever must be
referred back to God and admitted as His and His only! What is the
wisest man that ever lived, but a small, pale, ill-reflecting mirror of
the Eternal Thought that controls and dominates all things! … He
remembered with conscience-stricken confusion what pleasure he had
felt, what placid satisfaction, what unqualified admiration, when
listening to his own works recited by the ghost-presentment of his
Former Self! … pleasure that had certainly exceeded whatever pain he
had suffered by the then enigmatical and perplexing nature of the
incident. O what a foolish Atom he now seemed, viewed by the standard
of his newly aroused higher consciousness! … how poor and passive a
slave to the glittering, beckoning Phantasm of his own perishable Fame!</p>
<p id="id01732">Thus on the Field of Ardath he drained the cup of humility to the
dregs,—the cup which like that offered to the Prophet of Holy Writ was
"full as it were with water, but the color of it was like fire"—the
water of tears.. the fire of faith, . . and with that prophet he might
have said.. "When I had drunk of it, my heart uttered understanding,
and wisdom grew in my breast, for my spirit strengthened my memory."</p>
<p id="id01733">Meanwhile Edris, still keeping her gentle hands on his bent head, went
on:</p>
<p id="id01734">"In such wise didst thou, my Beloved, as the famous Sah-luma,
mournfully perish.. and the nations remembered thee no more! But thy
spiritual, indestructible Essence lived on, and wandered dismayed and
forlorn through a myriad forms of existence in the depths of Perpetual
Darkness which MUST be, even as the Everlasting Light IS. Thy immortal
but perverted Will bore thee always further from God, . . further from
Him, and so far from me, that thou wert at times beyond even an Angel's
ken! Ages upon ages rolled away, . . the centuries between Earth and
Earths purposed redemption passed, … and, . . though in Heaven these
measured spaces of time that appear so great to men are as a mere
world's month of summer, . . still, to me, for once God's golden days
seemed long! I had lost THEE! Thou wert my soul's other soul, my
king!—my immortality's completion! … and though thou wert, alas! a
fallen brightness, yet I held fast to my one hope, . . the hope in thy
diviner nature, which, though sorely overcome, WAS NOT, and COULD NOT
BE wholly destroyed. I knew the fate in store for thee, . . I knew that
thou with other erring spirits wert bound to live again on earth when
Christ had built His Holy Way therefrom to Heaven,—and never did I
cease for thy dear sake to wait and watch and pray! At last I found
thee, … but ah! how I trembled for thy destiny! To thee had been
delivered, as to all the children of men, the final message of
salvation.. the Message of Love and Pardon which made all the angels
wonder! … but thou didst utterly reject it—and with the same willful
arrogance of thy former self, Sah-luma, thou wert blindly and
desperately turning anew into darkness! O my Beloved, that darkness
might have been eternal! … and crowded with memories dating from the
very beginning of life! … Nay, let me not speak of that Supernal
Agony, since Christ hath died to quench its terrors! … Enough!—by
happy chance, through my desire, thine own roused better will, and the
strength of one who hath many friends in Heaven, thy spirit was
released to temporary liberty, . . and in thy vision at Dariel, which
was NO vision, but a Truth, I bade thee meet me here. And why? …
SOLELY TO TEST THY POWER OF OBEDIENCE TO A DIVINE IMPULSE UNEXPLAINABLE
BY HUMAN REASON,—and I rejoiced as only angels can rejoice, when of
thine own Free-Will thou didst keep the tryst I made with thee! Yet
thou knewest me not! … or rather thou WOULDST NOT KNOW ME, . . till I
left thee! … 'Tis ever the way of mortals, to doubt their angels in
disguise!"</p>
<p id="id01735">Her sweet accents shook with a liquid thrill suggestive of tears,—but
he was silent. It seemed to him that he would be well content to hold
his place forever, if forever he might hear her thus melodiously speak
on! Had she not called him her "other soul, her king, her immortality's
completion!"—and on those wondrous words of hers his spirit hung,
impassioned, dazzled, and entranced beyond all Time and Space and
Nature and Experience!</p>
<p id="id01736">After a brief pause, during which his ravished mind floated among the
thousand images and vague feelings of a whole Past and Future merged in
one splendid and celestial Present, she resumed, always softly and with
the same exquisite tenderness of tone:</p>
<p id="id01737">"I left thee, Dearest, but a moment, … and in that moment, He who
hath himself shared in human sorrows and sympathies,—He who is the
embodiment of the Essence of God's Love,—came to my aid. Plunging thy
senses in deep sleep, as hath been done before to many a saint and
prophet of old time here on this very field of Ardath,—he summoned up
before thee the phantoms of a PORTION of thy Past, … phantoms which,
to thee, seemed far more real than the living presence of thy faithful
Edris! … alas, my Beloved! … thou art not the only one on the
Sorrowful Star who accepts a Dream for Reality and rejects Reality as a
Dream!"</p>
<p id="id01738">She paused again,—and again continued: "Nevertheless, in some degree
thy Vision of Al-Kyris was true, inasmuch as thou wert shown therein as
in a mirror, ONE phase, ONE only of thy former existence upon earth.
The final episode was chosen,—as by the end of a man's days alone
shall he be judged! As much as thy dreaming-sight was able to see,—as
much as thy brain was able to bear, appeared before thee, … but that
thou, slumbering, wert yet a conscious Personality among Phantoms, and
that these phantoms spoke to thee, charmed thee, bewildered thee,
tempted thee, and swayed thee, . . this was the Divine Master's work
upon thine own retrospective Thought and Memory. He gave the shadows of
thy bygone life, seeming color, sense, motion, and speech,—He blotted
out from thy remembrance His own Most Holy Name, . . and, shutting up
the Present from thy gaze, He sent thy spirit back into the Past.
There, thou, perplexed and sorrowful, didst painfully re-weave the last
fragments of thy former history, . . and not till thou hadst abandoned
the Shadow of Thyself, didst thou escape from the fear of destruction!
Then, when apparently all alone, and utterly forsaken, a cloud of
angels circled round thee, . . THEN, at thy first repentant cry for
help, He who has never left an earnest prayer unanswered bade me
descend hither, to waken and comfort thee! … Oh, never was His
bidding more joyously obeyed! Now I have plainly shown thee the
interpretation of thy Dream, . . and dost thou not comprehend the
intention of the Highest in manifesting it unto thee? Remember the
words of God's Prophet of old:</p>
<p id="id01739"> "'Behold the Field thou thoughtest barren, how great a glory<br/>
hath the moon unveiled!<br/>
"'And I beheld and was sore amazed, for I was no longer<br/>
Myself, but Another<br/>
"'And the sword of death was in that Other's soul,—and yet<br/>
that Other was but Myself in pain<br/>
"'And I knew not the things which were once familiar, and my<br/>
heart failed within me for very fear!'"<br/></p>
<p id="id01740">She spoke the quaint and mystic lines with a grave, pure, rhythmic
utterance that was like the far-off singing of sweet psalmody;—and
when she ceased, the stillness that followed seemed quivering with the
rich vibrations of her voice, … the very air was surely rendered
softer and more delicate by such soul-moving sound!</p>
<p id="id01741">But Theos, who had listened dumbly until now, began to feel a sudden
sorrowful aching at his heart, a sense of coming desolation, . . a
consciousness that she would soon depart again, and leave him and, with
a mingled reverence and passion, he ventured to draw one of the fair
hands that rested on his brows, down into his own clasp. He met with no
resistance, and half-happy, half-agonized, he pressed his lips upon its
soft and dazzling whiteness, while the longing of his soul broke forth
in words of fervid, irrepressible appeal.</p>
<p id="id01742">"Edris!" he implored.. "If thou dost love me give me my death!
Here,—now, at thy feet where I kneel! … of what avail is it for me
to struggle in this dark and difficult world? … O deprive me of this
fluctuating breath called Life and let me live indeed! I understand.. I
know all thou hast said,—I have learned my own sins as in a glass
darkly,—I have lived on earth before, and as it seems, made no good
use of life, … and now: now I have found THEE! Then why must I lose
thee? … thou who camest to me so sweetly at the first? … Nay, I
cannot part from thee—I will not! … If thou leavest me, I have no
strength to follow thee; I shall but miss the way to thine abode!"</p>
<p id="id01743">"Thou canst not miss the way!"—responded Edris softly, . . "Look up,
my Theos,—be of good cheer, thou Poet to whom Heaven's greatest gifts
of Song are now accorded! Look up and tell me, . . is not the way made
plain?"</p>
<p id="id01744">Slowly and in reverential fear, he obeyed, and raised his eyes, still
holding her by the hand,—and saw behind her a distinctly marked shadow
that seemed flung downward by the reflection of some brilliant light
above, . . the shadow of a Cross, against which her delicate figure
stood forth in shining outlines. Seeing, he understood,—but
nevertheless his mind grew more and more disquieted. A thousand
misgivings crowded upon him,—he thought of the world, . . he
remembered what it was, . . he was living in an age of heresy and
wanton unbelief, where not only Christ's Divinity was made blasphemous
mock of, but where even God's existence was itself called in question..
and as for ANGELS! … a sort of shock ran through his nerves as he
reflected that though preachers preached concerning these supernatural
beings,—though the very birth of Christ rested on Angels'
testimony,—though poets wrote of them, and painters strove to
delineate them on their most famous canvases, each and all thus
PRACTICALLY DEMONSTRATING THE SECRET INSTINCTIVE INTUITION OF HUMANITY
that such celestial Forms ARE,—yet it was most absolutely certain that
not a man in the prosaic nineteenth century would, if asked, admit, to
any actual belief in their existence! Inconsistent? … yes!—but are
not men more inconsistent than the very beasts of the field their
tyranny controls? What, as a rule, DO men believe in? … Themselves!
… only themselves! They are, in their own opinion, the Be-All and the
End-All of everything! … as if the Supreme Creative Force called God
were incapable of designing any Higher Form of Thinking-Life than their
pigmy bodies which strut on two legs and, with two eyes and a small,
quickly staggered brain, profess to understand and weigh the whole
foundation and plan of the Universe!</p>
<p id="id01745">Growing swiftly conscious of all that in the Purgatory of the Present
awaited him, Theos felt as though the earth-chasm that had swallowed up
Al-Kyris in his dream had opened again before him, affrighting him with
its black depth of nothingness and annihilation,—and in a sudden agony
of self-distrust he gazed yearningly at the fair, wistful face above
him, . . the divine beauty that was HIS after all, if he only knew how
to claim it!—Something, he knew not what, filled him with a fiery
restlessness,—a passion of protest and aspiration, which for a moment
was so strong that it seemed to him he must, with one fierce effort,
wrench himself free from the trammels of mortality, and straightway
take upon him the majesty of immortal nature, and so bear his Angel
love company whithersoever she went! Never had the fetters of flesh
weighed upon him with such-heaviness! … but, in spite of his feverish
longing to escape, some authoritative yet gentle Force held him
prisoner.</p>
<p id="id01746">"God!" he muttered … "Why am I thus bound?—why can I not be free?"</p>
<p id="id01747">"Because thy time for freedom has not come!" said Edris, quickly
answering his thought … "Because thou hast work to do that is not yet
done! Thy poet labors have, up till now, been merely REPETITION, …
the repetition of thy Former Self, … Go! the tired world waits for a
new Gospel of Poesy, … a new song that shall rouse it from its
apathy, and bring it closer unto God and all things high and fair!
Write!—for the nations wait for a trumpet-voice of Truth! … the
great poets are dead, . . their spirits are in Heaven, . . and there is
none to replace them on the Sorrowful Star save THOU! Not for Fame do
thy work—nor for Wealth, . . but for Love and the Glory of God!—for
Love of Humanity, for Love of the Beautiful, the Pure, the Holy! …
let the race of men hear one more faithful Apostle of the Divine
Unseen, ere Earth is lost in the withering light of a larger Creation!
Go! … perform thy long-neglected mission,—that mission of all poets
worthy the name.. TO RAISE THE WORLD! Thou shalt not lack strength nor
fervor, so long as thou dost write for the benefit of others. Serve God
and live!—serve Self and die! Such is the Eternal Law of Spheres
Invisible, . . the less thou seest of Self, the more thou seest of
Heaven! … thrust Self away, and lo! God invests thee with His
Presence! Go forth into the world, . . a King uncrowned, . . a Master
of Song, . . and fear not that I, Edris, will forsake thee,—I, who
have loved thee since the birth of Time!"</p>
<p id="id01748">He met her beautiful, luminous, inspired eyes, with a sad
interrogativeness in his own. What a hard fate was meted out to him!
… To teach the world that scoffed at teaching!—to rouse the
gold-thirsting mass of men to a new sense of things divine! O vain
task!—O dreary impossibility! … Enough surely, to guide his own Will
aright, without making any attempt to guide the wills of others!</p>
<p id="id01749">Her mandate seemed to him almost cruel,—it was like driving him into a
howling wilderness, when with one touch, one kiss, she might transport
him into Paradise! If SHE were in the world, . . if SHE were always
with him.. ah! then how different, how easy life would be! Again he
thought of those strange entrancing words of hers.. "My other soul, . .
my king.. my immortality's completion!"—and a sudden wild idea took
swift possession of his brain.</p>
<p id="id01750">"Edris!" he cried.. "If I may not yet come to thee, then come THOU to
me! … Dwell thou with me! … O by the force of my love, which God
knoweth, let me draw thee, thou fair Light, into my heart's gloom! Hear
me while I swear my faith to thee as at some holy shrine! … As I
live, with all my soul I do accept thy Master Christ, as mine utmost
good, and His Cross as my proudest glory! … but yet, bethink thee,
Edris, bethink thee of this world,—its wilful sin, its scorn of God,
and all the evil that like a spreading thunder-cloud darkens it day by
day! Oh, wilt thou leave me desolate and alone? … Fight as I will, I
shall often sink under blows, . . conquer as I may, I shall suffer the
solitude of conquest, unless THOU art with me! Oh, speak!—is there no
deeper divine intention in the marvellous destiny that has brought us
together?—thou, pure Spirit, and I, weak Mortal? Has love, the primal
mover of all things, no hold upon thee? … If I am, as thou sayest,
thy Beloved, loved by thee so long, even while forgetful of and
unworthy of thy love, can I not NOW,—now when I am all
thine,—persuade thee to compassionate the rest of my brief life on
earth? … Thou art in woman's shape here on this Field of Ardath,—and
yet thou art not woman! Oh, could my love constrain thee in God's Name,
to wear the mask of mortal body for my sake, would not our union even
now make the Sorrowful Star seem fair? … Love, love, love! Come to
mine aid, and teach me how to shut the wings of this sweet bird of
paradise in mine own breast! … God! Spare her to me for one of Thy
sweet moments which are our mortal years! … Christ, who became a mere
child for pity of us, let me learn from Thee the mystic spell that
makes Thine angel mine!"</p>
<p id="id01751">Carried away by his own forceful emotion he hardly knew what he said, .
. but an unspeakable, dizzy joy flooded his soul, as he caught the look
she gave him! … a wild, sweet, amazed, half-tender, half-agonized,
wholly HUMAN look, suggestive of the most marvellous possibilities! One
effort and she released her hand from his, and moved a little apart,
her eyes kindling with celestial sympathy in which there was the very
faintest touch of self-surrender. Self-surrender? … what! from an
Angel to a mortal? … Ah no! … it could not be,—yet he felt filled
all at once with a terrible sense of power that at the same time was
mingled with the deepest humility and fear.</p>
<p id="id01752">"Hush!"—she said, and her lovely, low voice was
tremulous,—"Hush!—Thou dost speak as if we were already in God's
World! I love thee, Theos! … and truly, because thou art prisoned
here, I love the sad Earth also! … but dost thou think to what thou
wouldst so eagerly persuade me? To live a mortal life? … to die? …
to pass through the darkest phase of world-existence known in all the
teeming spheres? Nay!".. and a look of pathetic sorrow came over her
face.. "How could I, even for thee, my Theos, forsake my home in
Heaven?"</p>
<p id="id01753">Her last words were half-questioning, half-hesitating, … her manner
was as of one in doubt.. and Theos, kneeling still, surveyed her in
worshipping silence. Then he suddenly remembered what the Monk and
Mystic, Heliobas, had said to him at Dariel on the morning after his
trance of soul-liberty: . . "If, as I conjecture, you have seen one of
the fair inhabitants of higher spheres than ours, you would not drag
her spiritual and death-unconscious brightness down to the level of the
'reality' of a mere human life? … Nay, if you would you could not!"
And now, strange to say, he felt that he COULD but WOULD NOT; and he
was overcome with remorse and penitence for the egotistical nature of
his own appeal.</p>
<p id="id01754">"My love—my life!" he said brokenly,—"Forgive me,—forgive my selfish
prayer! … Self spoke,—not I, . . yet I had thought Self dead, and
buried forever!" A faint sigh escaped him … "Believe me, Sweet, I
would not have thee lose one hour of Heaven's ecstasies, . . I would
not have thee saddened by Earth's wilful miseries, … no! not even for
that lightning-moment which numbers up man's mortal days! Speed back to
Angel-land, my Edris!—I will love thee till I die, and leave the
Afterward to Christ. Be glad, thou fairest, dearest One! … unfurl thy
rainbow wings and fly from me! … and wander singing through the
groves of Heaven, making all Heaven musical, . . perchance in the
silence of the night I may catch the echo of thy voice and fancy thou
art near! And trust me, Edris! … trust me! … for my faith will not
falter, … my hope shall not waver, … and though in the world I may,
I MUST have tribulation, yet will I believe in Him who hath by simple
love overcome the world!"</p>
<p id="id01755">He ceased, . . a great quiet seemed to fall upon him,—the quiet of a
deep and passive resignation.</p>
<p id="id01756">Edris drew nearer to him,—timidly as a shy bird, yet with a wonderful
smile quivering on her lips, and in the clear depths of her starry
eyes. Very gently she placed her arms about his neck and looked down at
him with divinely compassionate tenderness.</p>
<p id="id01757">"Thou beloved one!" she said, "Thou whose spirit was formerly equal to
mine, and to all angels, in God's sight though through pride it fell!
Learn that thou art nearer to me now than thou hast been for a myriad
ages! … between us are renewed the strong, sweet ties that shall
nevermore be broken, unless …" and her voice faltered,—"Unless thou,
of thine own Free Will, break them again in spite of all my prayers!
For, BECAUSE thou art immortal even as I, though thou art pent up in
mortality, even so must thy Will remain immortally unfettered, and what
thou dost firmly elect to do, God will not prevent. The Dream of thy
Past was a lesson, not a command,—thou art free to forget or remember
it as thou wilt while on earth, since it is only AFTER Death that
Memory is ineffaceable, and, with its companion Remorse, constitutes
Hell. Obey God, or disobey Him,—He will not force thee either way, . .
constrained love hath no value! Only this is the Universal Law,—that
whosoever disobeys, his disobedience recoils on his own head as of
Necessity it MUST,—whereas obedience is the working in perfect harmony
with all Nature, and of equal Necessity brings its own reward. Cling to
the Cross for one moment.. the moment called by mortals, Life, … and
it shall lift thee straightway into highest Heaven! There will I wait
for thee,—and there thou shalt make me thine own forever!"</p>
<p id="id01758">He sighed and gazed at her wistfully.</p>
<p id="id01759">"Alas, my Edris! … Not till then?" he murmured.</p>
<p id="id01760">She bent over him and kissed his forehead,—a caress as brief and light
as the passing flutter of a bird's wing.</p>
<p id="id01761">"Not till then!"—she whispered—"Unless the longing of thy love
compels!"</p>
<p id="id01762">He started. What did she mean? … His eyes flashed eager inquiry into
hers, so soft and brilliantly clear, with the light of an eternal peace
dwelling in their liquid, mysterious loveliness,—and meeting his
questioning look, the angelic smile brightened more gloriously round
her lips. But there was now something altogether unearthly in her
beauty, … a wondrous inward luminousness began to transfigure her
face and form, . . he saw her garments whiten to a sparkling radiance
as of sunbeams on snow, … the halo round her bright hair deepened
into flame-like glory—her stature grew loftier, and became as it were
endowed with supreme and splendid majesty, . . and the exquisite
fairness of her countenance waxed warmly transparent, with the delicate
hue of a white rose, through which the pink color faintly flushes soft
suggestions of ruddier life. His gaze dwelt upon her in unspeakable
wondering adoration, mingled with a sense of irrepressible sorrow and
heaviness of heart, … he felt she was about to leave him, . . and was
it not a parting of soul from soul?</p>
<p id="id01763">Just then the Sun stepped royally forth from between the red and gold
curtains of the east,—and in that blaze of earth's life-radiance her
figure became resplendently invested with vivid rays of roseate lustre
that far surpassed the amber shining of the Orb of day! Awed, dazzled,
and utterly overcome, he yet strove to keep his straining eyes steadily
upon her,—conscious that her smile still blessed him with its
tenderness, … he made a wild effort to drag himself nearer to her, .
. to touch once more the glittering edge of her robe … to detain her
one little, little moment longer! Ah! how wistfully, how fondly she
looked upon him! … Almost it seemed as if she might, after all,
consent to stay! … He stretched out his arms with a pathetic gesture
of love, fear, and soul-passionate supplication.</p>
<p id="id01764">"Edris! … Edris!".. he cried half despairingly. "Oh, by the strength
of thine Angelhood have pity on the weakness of my Manhood!"</p>
<p id="id01765">Surely she heard, or seemed to hear! … and yet she gave no answer!
… No sign! … No promise!—no gesture of farewell! … only a look
of divine, compassionating, perfect love, . . a look so pure, so
penetrating, so true, so rapturous, that flesh and blood could bear the
glory of her transfigured Presence no longer,—and blind with the
burning effulgence of her beauty, he shut his eyes and covered his
face. He knew now, if he had never known it before, what was meant by
"an Angel standing in the sun!" [Footnote: Revelation, chap, xix., 17.]
Moreover, he also knew that what Humanity calls "miracles" ARE
possible, and DO happen,—and that instead of being violations of the
Law of Nature as we understand it, they are but confirmations of that
Law in its DEEPER DEPTHS,—depths which, controlled by Spiritual Force
alone, have not as yet been sounded by the most searching scientists.
And what is Material Force but the visible manifestation of the
Spiritual behind it? … He who accepts the Material and denies the
Spiritual, is in the untenable position of one who admits an Effect and
denies a Cause! And if both Spiritual and Material BE accepted, then
how can we reasonably dare to set a limit to the manifestations of
either the one or the other?</p>
<p id="id01766"> * * * * * * *</p>
<p id="id01767">When he at last looked up, Edris had vanished! He was alone, . . alone
on the Field of Ardath, … the field that was "barren" in very truth,
now she, his Angel, had been drawn away, as it seemed, into the
sunlight, . . absorbed like a paradise-pearl into those rays of
life-giving gold that lit and warmed the reddening earth and heaven!</p>
<p id="id01768">Slowly and dizzily he rose to his feet, and gazed about him in vague
bewilderment. He had passed ONE NIGHT on the field! One night only! …
and he felt as though he had lived through years of experience! Now,
the VISION was ended, . . Edris, the REALITY, had fled, . . and the
World was before him, . . the World, with all the unsatisfying things
it grudgingly offers, . . the World in which Al-Kyris had been a "City
Magnificent" in the centuries gone,—and in which he, too, had played
his part before, and had won fame, to be forgotten as soon as dead!
Fame! … how he had longed and thirsted for it! … and what a
foolish, undesirable distinction it seemed to him now!</p>
<p id="id01769">Steadying his thoughts by a few moments of calm reflection, he
remembered what he had in charge to do, . . TO REDEEM HIS PAST. To use
and expend whatever force was in him for the good, the help, the
consolement, and the love of others, … NOT to benefit himself! This
was his task, . . and the very comprehension of it gave him a rush of
vigor and virile energy that at once lifted the cloud of
love-loneliness from his soul.</p>
<p id="id01770">"My Edris!" he whispered.. "Thou shalt have no cause to weep for me in<br/>
Heaven again! … with God's help I will win back my lost heritage!"<br/></p>
<p id="id01771">As he spoke the words his eyes caught a glimpse of something white on
the turf where, but a moment since, his Angel-love had stood,—he
stooped toward it, . . it was one half-opened bud of the wonderful
"Ardath-flowers" that had covered the field in such singular profusion
on the previous night when she first appeared. One only! … might he
not gather it?</p>
<p id="id01772">He hesitated, . . then very gently and reverently broke it off, and
tenderly bore it to his lips. What a beautiful blossom it was! … its
fragrance was unlike that of any other flower,—its whiteness was more
pure and soft than that of the rarest edelweiss on Alpine snows, and
its partially disclosed golden centre had an almost luminous
brightness. As he held it in his hand, all sorts of vague, delicious
thoughts came sweeping across his brain, … thoughts that seemed to
set themselves to music wild and strange and NEW, and suggestive of the
sweetest, noblest influences! A thrill of expectation stirred in him,
as of great and good things to be done,—grand changes to be wrought in
the complex web of human destiny, brought about by the quickening and
development of a pure, unselfish, spiritual force, that might with
saving benefit flow into the perplexed and weary intelligence of man; .
. and cheered, invigorated, and conscious of a circling, widening,
ever-present Supreme Power that with all-surrounding love was ever on
the side of work done for love's sake, he gently shut the flower within
his breast, resolving to carry it with him wheresoever he went as a
token and proof of the "signs and wonders" of the Prophet's Field.</p>
<p id="id01773">And now he prepared to quit the scene of his mystic Vision, in which he
had followed with prescient pain the brief, bright career, the useless
fame, the evil love-passion, and final fate of his Former Self,—and
crossing the field with lingering tread, he looked back many times to
the fallen block of stone where he had sat when he had first perceived
God's maiden Edris, stepping softly through the bloom. When should he
again meet her? Alas! … not till Death, the beautiful and beneficent
Herald of true Liberty, summoned him to those lofty heights of Paradise
where she had habitation. Not till then, unless, … unless, … and
his heart beat with a sudden tumult as he recollected her last words, .
. "UNLESS THE LONGING OF THY LOVE COMPELS!"</p>
<p id="id01774">Could love COMPEL her, he wondered, to come to him once more while yet
he lived on earth? Perhaps! … and yet if he indeed had such power of
love, would it be generous or just to exert it? No! … for to draw her
down from Heaven to Earth seemed to him now a sort of
sacrilege,—dearer to him was HER joy than his own! But suppose the
possibility of her being actually HAPPY with him in mortal existence,
… suppose that Love, when absolutely pure, unselfishly mutual,
helpful, and steadfast, had it in its gift to make even the Sorrowful
Star a Heaven in miniature, what then?</p>
<p id="id01775">He would not trust himself to think of this! … the mere shadowy
suggestion of such supreme delight filled him with a strong passion of
yearning, to which in his accepted creed of Self-abnegation he dared
not yield! Firmly restraining, resisting, and renouncing his own
desires, he mentally raised a holy shrine for her in his soul, … a
shrine of pure faith, warm with eternal aspirations and bright with
truth, wherein he hallowed the memory of her beauty with a sense of
devout, love-like gladness. She was safe.. she was content, . . she
blossomed flower-like in the highest gardens of God where all things
fared well;—enough for him to worship her at a distance, . . to keep
the clear reflection of her loveliness in his mind, … and to live, so
that he might deserve to follow and find her when his work on earth was
done. Moreover, Heaven to him was no longer a vague, mythical realm,
ill-defined by the prosy descriptions of church-preachers,—it was an
actual WORLD to which HE was linked,—in which HE had possessions, of
which HE was a native, and for the perpetuation and enlargement of
whose splendor ALL worlds existed!</p>
<p id="id01776">Arrived at the boundary of the field, the spot marked by the broken
half-buried pillar of red granite Heliobas had mentioned, he
paused—thinking dreamily of the words of Esdras, who in answer to his
Angel-visitant's inquiry: "Why art thou disquieted?" had replied:
"Because thou hast forsaken me, and yet I did according to thy words,
and I went into the field, and lo! I have seen and yet see, that I am
not able to express." Whereupon the Angel had said, "Stand up manfully
and I will advise thee!"</p>
<p id="id01777">"Stand up manfully!" Yes! … this is what he, Theos Alwyn, meant to
do. He would "stand up manfully" against the howling iconoclasm and
atheism of the Age,—he would be Poet henceforth in the true meaning of
the word, namely Maker, . . he would MAKE not BREAK the grand ideal
hopes and heaven-climbing ambitions of Humanity! … he would endeavor
his utmost best to be that "Hierarch and Pontiff of the world"—as a
modern rugged Apostle of Truth has nobly said,—"who Prometheus-like
can shape new Symbols and bring new fire from heaven to fix them into
the deep, infinite faculties of Man."</p>
<p id="id01778">With a brief silent prayer, he turned away at last, and walked slowly,
in the lovely silence of the early Eastern morning, back to the place
from whence he had last night wandered,—the Hermitage of Elzear, near
the Ruins of Babylon. He soon came in sight of it, and also perceived
Elzear himself, stooping over a small plot of ground in front of his
dwelling, apparently gathering herbs. When he approached, the old man
looked up and smiled, giving him a silent, expressively courteous
morning greeting,—by his manner it was evident that he thought his
guest had merely been out for an early stroll ere the heat of the day
set in. And yet Al-Kyris! … How real had seemed that dream-existence
in that dream-city! The figure of Elzear looked scarcely more
substantial than the phantom-forms of Sah-luma, Zephoranim, Khosrul,
Zuriel, or Zabastes,—while Lysia's exquisite face and seductive form,
Niphrata's pensive beauty, and all the local characteristics of the
place, were stamped on the dreamer's memory as faithfully as scenes
flashed by the sun on the plates of photography! True, the pictures
were perhaps now slightly fading into the similitude of pale negatives,
. . but still, would not everything that happened in the ACTUAL world
merge into that same undecided dimness with the lapse of time?</p>
<p id="id01779">He thought so, . . and smiled at the thought, … the transitory nature
of earthly things was a subject for joy to him now,—not regret. With a
kindly word or two to his venerable host, he went through the open door
of the Hermitage, and entered the little room he had left only a few
hours previously. It appeared to him as familiar and UNfamiliar as
Al-Kyris itself! … till raising his eyes he saw the great Crucifix
against the wall,—the sacred Symbol whose meaning he had forgotten and
hopelessly longed for in his Dream,—and from which, before his visit
to the field of Ardath, he had turned with a sense of bitter scorn and
proud rejection. But NOW! … Now he gazed upon it in unspeakable
remorse,—in tenderest desire to atone, … the sweet, grave, patient
Eyes of the holy Figure seemed to meet his with a wondrous challenge of
love, longing, and most fraternal, sympathetic comprehension of his
nature…. he paused, looking, … and the pre-eminently false words
of George Herbert suddenly occurred to him, "Thy Saviour sentenced
joy!" O blasphemy! … SENTENCED joy? Nay!—rather re-created it, and
invested it with divine certainties, beyond all temporal change or
evanishment! … Yielding to a swift impulse, he threw himself on his
knees, and with clasped hands, leaned his brows against the feet of the
sculptured Christ. There he rested in wordless peace,—his whole soul
entranced in a divine passion of faith, hope, and love … there with
the "Ardath flower" in his breast, he consecrated his life to the
Highest Good,—and there in absolute humility, and pure, child-like
devotion, he crucified SELF forever!</p>
<h1 id="id01780" style="margin-top: 6em">PART III.—POET AND ANGEL.</h1>
<p id="id01781" style="margin-top: 2em"> "O Golden Hair! … O Gladness of an Hour<br/>
Made flesh and blood!"<br/></p>
<p id="id01782"> * * * * *</p>
<p id="id01783"> "Who speaks of glory and the force of love<br/>
And thou not near, my maiden-minded dove!<br/>
With all the coyness, all the beauty sheen<br/>
Of thy rapt face? A fearless virgin-queen,<br/>
A queen of peace art thou,—and on thy head<br/>
The golden light of all thy hair is shed<br/>
Most nimbus-like, and most suggestive too<br/>
Of youthful saints enshrined and garlanded."<br/></p>
<p id="id01784"> * * * * *</p>
<p id="id01785"> "Our thoughts are free,—and mine have found at last<br/>
Their apt solution; and from out the Past<br/>
There seems to shine as 'twere a beacon-fire:<br/>
And all the land is lit with large desire<br/>
Of lambent glory; all the quivering sea<br/>
Is big with waves that wait the Morn's decree<br/>
As I, thy vassal, wait thy beckoning smile<br/>
Athwart the splendors of my dreams of thee!"<br/></p>
<p id="id01786"> —"A Lover's Litanies."—ERIC MACKAY.</p>
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