<h2>CHAPTER IX<br/> <small>THE DINNER PARTY</small></h2>
<p class="drop-cap">THE dinner is the most important and the
most delightful of social functions. It is the
most civilized of entertainments, and to say of a
town that it is a dinner-giving town means that
it has arrived socially. This flower of hospitality
blooms slowly. In many western places where the
reception, the afternoon tea, the theater party and
the ladies’ luncheon flourish like a green bay tree,
the dinner is an unknown function. A young hostess
is often afraid of attempting it, as is also the
unaccustomed diner-out. Yet it is not a formidable
entertainment, rightly considered, and when happily
managed the return it brings far outweighs the
outlay of time and trouble.</p>
<p>The dinner, height of hospitality as it is, is yet
within the reach of most of us as far as expenditure
is concerned. The cost of a dinner may be
much or little. The menu may be simple or elaborate.
Five courses is enough for a dainty satisfying
meal, yet eighteen and twenty are sometimes<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[89]</SPAN></span>
served. The table decorations may be of the most
expensive sort; yet a half-dozen roses and candles
in keeping are sufficient to give a properly festive
touch.</p>
<p>The number of servants required depends, of
course, upon the elaborateness or simplicity of the
menu and upon the number of guests to be served.
The size of the dinner party is elastic, though
eighteen at the table is usually regarded as the
maximum.</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="sidenote">THE SMALL DINNER</div>
<p>The little dinner party has the advantage of
being in some ways a more attractive function than
the big one, as well as one in which people of small
incomes may safely indulge. When a dinner is so
large that general conversation is impossible, it defeats
its own purpose. Eight guests are a good number.
Why it should be that ten guests are still
so few as to form a little dinner party and that
twelve guests undoubtedly make a big dinner party
is one of those inscrutable truths that it takes something
more than arithmetic to explain. But so it
is. If the guests are properly chosen for a small
dinner there should be in the atmosphere a combination
of pretty formality and agreeable familiarity
about this function that no other can give in so
large a degree.</p>
<p>The choice of guests is, of course, the first and<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[90]</SPAN></span>
most important consideration. Upon this more
than upon any other consideration depends the success
of your party. It does not do to invite people
together for commercial reasons simply or from any
other purely selfish motive. It does not do to go
through one’s list and invite people, by instalments,
straight through the alphabet. The hostess must
exercise all the tact and discrimination of which
she is possessed. It is not always necessary that
the people chosen should be friends and acquaintances
but it is necessary that they have interests,
broadly speaking, of the same sort, that they have
enough in common to make a basis for easy informal
talk. If the people chosen like one another
or have the capacity for interesting and diverting
one another, the hostess should feel that the weightiest
business is off her hands.</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="sidenote">SENDING DINNER INVITATIONS</div>
<p>Dinner invitations should be sent out at least
a week before the date of the function. In places
where social life is of a strenuous character and
people are likely to have many engagements ahead,
two weeks should be allowed. In New York and
Washington, invitations for formal dinners are issued
four weeks before the event. The invitation
to a dinner should be answered immediately. As
the number of guests invited in any case is small,
the hostess should know as soon as possible the<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[91]</SPAN></span>
intention of those invited, so that, in case of a
regret, she may fill the place so quickly that the
person next chosen may not realize that he is an
alternate. The letters R. s. v. p. should not be
put on a dinner invitation. Any one who receives
such a card or note is supposed to understand that
an answer is expected.</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="sidenote">THE DINNER MENU</div>
<p>When the guests are selected, the invitations delivered
and the proper number of acceptances received,
the hostess may then turn her attention to
the other arrangements. The important matter of
deciding upon the menu is next in order. If the
hostess has an admirably trained cook or is in a
position to engage an expert cateress, a consultation
with one or the other settles the affair. In
case she has not the one and is not financially able
to engage the other, she must depend upon her own
resources. She must select a menu which she and
her maid can together carry out successfully.</p>
<p>The composition of a dinner menu is an employment
that gives scope for talent and originality.
The range of possible dishes is large, the variety in
the way of combination inexhaustible. To plan a
dinner that is at once palatable and pleasing to
the eye requires no mean ability. To a woman who
has a genius for culinary feats, this sort of accomplishment
may be an exercise of the artistic faculties;<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[92]</SPAN></span>
and the effect produced upon the partakers of
the feast goes far beyond mere physical satisfaction.
If one is in the habit of studying cook-books,
which make more interesting reading than they are
generally given credit for, the opportunity afforded
by a dinner party for the display of one’s knowledge
should be as eagerly welcomed as the opportunity
offered a violinist for the exhibition of his
art. Novelties are to be indulged in sparingly.
Queer highly-colored dishes make the guests nervous
as to the hygienic results.</p>
<div class="sidenote">ROUND OR SQUARE TABLES</div>
<p>Sometimes fashion decrees that a square or oblong
table is the appropriate form. Again she
approves the round table. At the present time the
round table has the preference and, as far as the
present writer can see, with reason. The round
table puts all the diners on an equal footing instead
of establishing a sometimes embarrassing distinction
between guests and hosts. Its use makes
it possible for each guest to have a good view of
every other guest and this promotes general conversation.
Added to these merits is another of
importance, namely, that a round table is more susceptible
of attractive decoration.</p>
<p>Many people who employ a square table for family
use, employ on formal occasions a round top,
capable of seating twelve or fourteen people, which<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[93]</SPAN></span>
top can be placed above the table commonly in use.
This top when not in use folds together on hinges
in the center. On occasion it can be clamped to
the table in ordinary so that it holds perfectly firm.</p>
<p>One should not ask more guests than the table
will roomily accommodate. A woman guest will
often be glad of a footstool.</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="sidenote">THE SILVER AND CHINA</div>
<p>On the morning of the dinner the silver and
china necessary should be looked over and later in
the day properly placed. The table should be arranged
with cloth, the napkins, the various knives,
forks and spoons, the flowers, the candles, and the
service plates, if such are used. The china to be
employed for the various courses should be placed,
before the dinner, in the butler’s pantry in a way
to promote, as far as possible, swift and deft service
with the maid. She should be instructed exactly
where she can lay her hands on the dishes
for each item in the menu so that her attendance
may be expert and noiseless. For her benefit it
is well also to make out in good legible writing,
the menu for the meal and hang it in the kitchen
in full view of her and any other servants employed
for the occasion. In giving a dinner nothing should
be left to chance. Every emergency should be taken
into consideration and planned for. In small<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[94]</SPAN></span>
households where only one maid is employed, a
trained waitress may be hired at small expense to
help serve.</p>
<div class="sidenote">FLOWERS AND CANDLES</div>
<p>The flowers to be used should have some relation
to the color of the candles if candles are used.
A few flowers skilfully arranged are sometimes
quite as effective as a profusion. A clear glass
jar which shows stems and leaves as well as blooms
is a good investment for the woman whose love
of beauty goes further than her ability to pay. The
importance of foliage is not always appreciated.
One of the cleverest minor inventions for making
a few blossoms appear to their best advantage is
the cross-bar of wire which one finds now in the
shops, in various sizes and fitted to the tops of
various ornamental vases. By the use of this device
each flower stands out in individual beauty.
The effect of no single blossom is lost.</p>
<p>Avoid a centerpiece that is so high as to obstruct
the view across the table.</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="sidenote">LAYING THE TABLE</div>
<p>The table-cloth and napkins should be of pure
white and of the finest napery that one can afford.
Silk and lace contraptions that will not stand washing
are in bad taste. The table-cloth is not starched
and preferably is never folded by the laundress but
rolled so that when used it shows no creases except
one down the center. First on the table is<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[95]</SPAN></span>
laid a heavy felt cloth known as the silence cloth,
which, besides deadening sounds, serves to make the
damask lie more smoothly and gives it a richer,
handsomer appearance than if it were spread on
the bare boards. If the game or joints are to be
served from the table, a carver’s square should be
laid at the head of the table and beneath it a thick
mat for the protection of the table surface. Beside
this square are laid the carving knife and fork,
a table spoon and a gravy ladle. At each guest’s
place, is set a “service plate,” insisted on by the
punctilious who choose to obey the unwritten rule
of hospitality that a guest once seated is never without
a plate. This plate is exchanged by the waitress
for the one bearing the food when it is served.
To the left of this plate will be arranged the forks,
tines upward. These will ordinarily consist of two
large forks for the main meat course and the salad,
then a third fork for the fish and outside of these
a small oyster fork if there is to be a course of
raw oysters. At the right of the plate will be two
dinner knives with the edges of the blades turned
toward the plate, a fish knife, and the spoons, including
first a small spoon for the after-dinner coffee.
The spoon that will be used first is placed on
the outside for obvious reasons. The soup spoon
with the bowl uppermost will be placed either at
right angles to the knives or from right to left back<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[96]</SPAN></span>
of the plate. The water glass and the glasses for
wine, if these are used, stand to the right and back,
a little beyond the knives. As butter is not served
at formal dinners the bread and butter plate and
butter spreader are omitted. The folded napkin
containing the dinner roll is laid to the right of
the knives or on the service plate. Fancy foldings
of the napkin are not approved.</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="sidenote">THE SKILFUL MAID</div>
<p>When the waitress hands a dish from which the
guest must serve himself she offers it on the left
so that he may use his right hand freely. However,
when she puts a plate before him, she should do
it from the right. Many hostesses decree that on
clearing the table, the large meat and vegetable
dishes should be taken first and the soiled plates
last. A reversal of this procedure would seem to
be an improvement as the untidy plates are the
least sightly things about the table. If the maid
is skilful she will notice whether any guest has
by chance already used the spoons or other silver
required for the dessert course and supply those
without a request being made.</p>
<p>In clearing the table the maid must not stack
the dishes. She should take a plate in each hand
and no more.</p>
<p>Avoid using heavily scented flowers on a dinner
table.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[97]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>Menu cards do not belong in private houses.
They have the somewhat vulgar effect of laying
too much stress on the food. The ideal dinner is,
indeed, a delightful repast, but it should be first
of all what has been wittily described as “a feast
of reason and a regular freshet of soul.”</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="sidenote">THE FRUIT CENTERPIECE</div>
<p>A fruit centerpiece is not often seen but it is
handsome. A large silver plate or basket heaped
with pink and white winter grapes or even with
rosy apples and “glove” oranges is most effective.</p>
<p>If candles are used these should be kept on ice
until near the dinner hour, then lighted and the
wicks cut, to prevent smoking and dripping. Many
persons who like to put shades on their candles
have difficulty in preventing them from catching
fire. It is worth knowing that this is more likely
to occur when the holders are fitted to the top of
the candle than where they clasp it below the heated
part.</p>
<p>When a dessert dish is placed on a larger plate,
or a finger-bowl is set before the guest, a small
lace paper mat may be laid between plate and dish.</p>
<p>If the dining-room floor is of hard wood rubber
tips may be bought at any department store and
put on the chair-legs to prevent the noise of scraping.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[98]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>The table should be carefully set so that the
centerpiece is exactly in the center and the guests’
places precisely opposite each other.</p>
<p>As a rule the china used throughout a dinner
exactly matches, but if a hostess prefers she may
use different sets for different courses.</p>
<p>In serving soup be careful not to give too much.
A half ladleful is an “elegant sufficiency.”</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="sidenote">THE TEMPERATURE OF WINES</div>
<p>If a dinner is very formal and several wines are
to be served, it is correct to use white wine with
the fish, sherry with the soup, claret with the roast
and champagne or Burgundy with the game. The
white wine, sherry and champagne should be kept
cold; champagne, indeed, should be very cold and is
served from a bottle wrapped in a napkin. Claret
and Burgundy are most agreeable at a temperature
of about seventy. All these wines are served
from the bottle except claret and sherry, which are
usually decanted, that is to say, they are poured
from the original bottle into a cut-glass bottle or
decanter intended especially for table use.</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<p>Much of the success of a dinner depends upon
the serving. A well-trained maid or man is indispensable,
and it is not to be denied that the
training, for this purpose, of the average servant
to be found in the West is difficult. But with patience<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[99]</SPAN></span>
it can be done. If one is in the habit, as
one should be, of insisting that the home dinner
be served with proper formality, the extra duties
involved in the service of a larger number of people
and of a greater range of dishes need not be viewed
with terror.</p>
<p>If there are ten or twelve guests the services of
two maids or men become necessary, lest the portions
on the plates become cold before the sauces
and vegetables that are to accompany them can be
passed. For elaborate dinners the rule is one
waiter to every three guests.</p>
<p>In punctilious households the unwritten law that
a guest should never be without a plate before him
is observed, and this is known as the service or
place plate. At an informal meal this plate may be
dispensed with.</p>
<p>A maid should be taught to move quietly, to
keep her eyes and thoughts on what she is
doing, and in an emergency to go directly
to her mistress for a quiet word of instruction.
It is particularly important that the domestic
in the kitchen should also be as quiet as
possible in her movements. Nothing is more annoying
during a dinner conversation than a crash
of crockery in the culinary regions.</p>
<div class="sidenote">THE HOUR FOR DINNER</div>
<p>As a rule dinner is served in most American
cities at seven o’clock. In New York, however,<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[100]</SPAN></span>
where long distance makes it difficult for men to
reach home, dress for the evening and arrive at
any stated place, eight o’clock is frequently the hour.</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="sidenote">SAYING GRACE</div>
<p>In not a few houses the fine old fashion of
saying grace is still observed and the guest should
carefully watch his hostess for a cue as to how
to conduct himself. A young woman who happened
to be visiting in one of the older New England
families chanced to take her first meal at the
dinner hour. After a moment’s pause she was
asked by her hostess to start the meal, and with
best intentions she did so by passing a bread plate
near her. To her dismay she afterward learned
that she had been expected to say grace. Of course,
such an incident could occur only at an informal
dinner, but it serves to bring up the point that
many a hostess embarrasses a guest by directly
asking him to perform this service which a natural
timidity or his being unaccustomed to it may make
an ordeal for him. If a clergyman is present, respect
to his position, whatever one’s own religious
convictions or want of them, demands that he be
asked to say grace.</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<p>At informal dinners the roast may be carved at
the table if the hostess prefers this plan and if
the host can be persuaded to do the carving and<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[101]</SPAN></span>
is able to do it skilfully and quietly. This plan,
which is English in its origin, seems more hospitable
in a way than the more formal custom of
serving everything from side-tables, <i>a la Russe</i>.
Undoubtedly there is a flavor of the hotel and
restaurant about the Russian style that is less agreeable,
though simpler and more expeditious. It may
be remarked, however, that while it is of first importance
that a dinner service should move promptly
and that it should not at the outside take up more
than two hours, anything that actually suggests
haste is contrary to the spirit of the occasion.</p>
<p>When the meats are carved at the table the
vegetables should be passed by the maid, as the
guests may have a choice. For the person at the
head of the table to serve both meat and vegetables
is permissible only at a family dinner. In some
households the host or hostess makes a specialty
of salad dressing, and this course, also, is served
at the table. As the salad bowl may be so arranged
as to present a beautiful, as well as a delicious sight,
the custom has more than one reason to recommend
it.</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="sidenote">WHO IS SERVED FIRST</div>
<p>As to who is served first there has been considerable
discussion. The plan has recently come
into favor in some houses to hand the first plate
in each instance to the hostess in the thought that<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[102]</SPAN></span>
if there is anything wrong with the dish she may
detect it before the guests are served. The usual
plan, however, is to serve first the lady sitting at
the host’s right hand, then all the other ladies, and
lastly the men. Or, if two maids are serving, one
may take one side of the table and one the other.
The maid should hand the dishes on the left side
of the guest. A clever maid can wait on eight
people, provided the dinner is not too elaborate.</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="sidenote">DRESS OF BUTLER AND MAID</div>
<p>The dress of a maid waiting at dinner should
be in winter of a plain black stuff, in summer of
plain white. Over this is worn a white bib apron
with bands going over the shoulders. The skirt
of the apron should be large so that the front of
the dress is protected. A plain white collar and
white cuffs and a white cap without strings or
crown complete this costume. No ornaments of
any sort are permissible.</p>
<p>A butler should wear the ordinary dress suit
with a white tie. It is a matter of wonder to the
thoughtful why society has not yet found a way
to clothe her butlers and waiters in some manner
that shall prevent strangers from taking them for
guests, but as yet no such way seems to have been
found. In default of a butler many families keep
what is known as a house-man, who performs the
duties of both butler and footman; that is to say,<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[103]</SPAN></span>
he opens the door and also assists at table. Such
a servant has a white linen jacket and dark trousers,
though some women who have negro house-men
and a taste for the picturesque prefer that
they shall wear dark colored coats with brass buttons
and a scarlet or other bright colored waistcoat.
While one sees in certain nice houses white
gloves on the hands of a house-man when he is
waiting at table, the best taste is against their use,
as they undeniably suggest that they are worn to
hide dirty hands.</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="sidenote">WHAT TO WEAR AT DINNER</div>
<p>At formal dinners a woman is expected to wear
a dress cut moderately low in the neck, while for
men what is known as evening dress is imperative.
Sometimes an invitation contains the word “informal,”
but unless one has explicit direction to
the contrary, no departure should be made from
the usual method of dressing.</p>
<p>When a dinner is hastily arranged for an out-of-town
guest, who is perhaps passing through the
city for the day only, or for some distinguished
man or woman on a tour of lectures, the hostess
may particularly request the guests not to wear
evening clothes out of consideration for the guest
of honor who, not expecting any social courtesies,
is not prepared so to dress himself. In such cases
the men will wear their day clothes, though a<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[104]</SPAN></span>
woman is always privileged to make her evening
toilet somewhat more dainty and elaborate than her
daytime one. Not to appear in one’s best when
the occasion is suited to happy raiment is to do
both one’s self and the occasion an injustice. Most
people are at their best when they have the consciousness
of being attractively attired, and one
may be sure that the hostess always appreciates any
effort made by her guests toward increasing the
charm of the social picture which she has composed.
A dark or dowdy dress is an ugly note
in such a group and reveals in the woman who
causes it an insufficient sense of the compliment
that has been extended to her.</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="sidenote">THE DINNER COAT</div>
<p>The dinner coat, or Tuxedo, was designed to be
worn only on the most informal occasions, though
there is a tendency to widen its field of usefulness.
The theory is that it should never be worn where
there are ladies, but the modern practise has broken
the theory down so that at small dinners, the theater,
club affairs, etc., the dinner coat is worn by men
who give the subject of dress intelligent consideration.
With the dinner coat a black silk string tie
should be worn; this the wearer should tie in a bow,
tightly drawn at the center. Gray ties have been
urged by the fashion makers, but they are not so
good as the black. The white lawn tie should never<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[105]</SPAN></span>
be worn with the dinner coat. Gold studs and gold
link cuff buttons, or the newer dark enamel should
be used, in shirts of plaits or tucks of various
widths. These softer styles of shirts are now in
high favor and are a sensible and proper innovation.
Extremes of styles should be avoided, and many
men of conservative tastes still wear the stiff plain
linen or piqué bosoms. A black waistcoat of the
same material as the coat is preferable to the fancier
forms.</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="sidenote">THE LOW-CUT GOWN</div>
<p>It is gratifying to note that in the best houses
neither the hostess nor any woman guest is seen
to appear with a dress improperly low. A woman,
not long used to the better social circle into which
she married, was once invited to meet an actress
at a private dinner party. To the amazement and
distress of her hostess she appeared in a gown that
evidently carried out her idea of what is “Bohemian.”
She had quite clearly been determined
not to be outdone by the actress. To her chagrin
she found this woman in a gown much higher than
her own and wholly modest in every particular.
To govern one’s dress or conduct in society by
any notion of outdoing some one else is an indication
of the parvenu and likely to meet with dire
results.</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<p>Those who entertain often soon learn to discriminate<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[106]</SPAN></span>
between the guest whose presence helps to
make a dinner a success and one who is an undigested
lump in the social leaven. The desirable
guest is not necessarily a wit or a beauty but she
comes with a glad mind and heart, arrayed in her
prettiest and with the sincere intention of trying
to give pleasure. She realizes the compliment of
her invitation and that it can not be acknowledged
merely by extending a similar one. She must, as
some one recently put it, “pay her scat” before
she leaves the house. If her dearest enemy is present
nothing in <i>her</i> manner will betray that fact to
the hostess.</p>
<p>The meal should be announced by the servant
in charge opening the door or doors leading into
the dining-room and saying, “Dinner is served.”
It saves confusion even at a small dinner to mark
the places at table by cards inscribed with the
appropriate name, but this is not obligatory.</p>
<div class="sidenote">THE DINNER PROCESSION</div>
<p>The host, with the lady who is to sit at his right,
is the first to leave the drawing-room. The order
of the other couples does not matter, except that
the hostess, with the man who is to sit at her right,
leaves last. The places of honor are those at the
right of the host and the hostess. If the President
were a guest, the hostess would lead the way to
the dining-room with him, the President’s wife
coming immediately after with the host. If two ladies<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[107]</SPAN></span>
are entertaining, one must play the part of host.
At very large and formal dinners trays on which are
small envelopes are placed in the men’s dressing-room,
each envelope bearing the name of the woman
the guest to whom it is addressed is to take in, and
indicating by the letter L. or R. in the corner of
the card on which side the two will sit.</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="sidenote">ARRIVING AT A DINNER</div>
<p>A dinner party demands that the guest be not
more than ten minutes early, and ordinarily not
a half-minute behind the time mentioned in the
invitation. In large cities, however, on account of
the great distances, ten or fifteen minutes’ grace is
allowed. After that interval has passed, the hostess—or
her butler if she have one—should see that
the cover laid for this person is removed, and the
usual announcement made that “Dinner is served.”
The servant at the door directs the women to their
dressing-room, the men to theirs. In the dressing-room
the women leave their wraps, but do not remove
their gloves. Each woman, accompanied by
her escort, descends to the drawing-room, greets
the hosts, and the man who is to take her out to
dinner is then introduced to her.</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<p>Where there are many courses a guest may, if
he wish, sometimes decline one or more of these.
He may also show by a gesture that he will not<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[108]</SPAN></span>
take wine, or, if his glasses are filled, he may simply
lift them to his lips, taste the contents, then
drink no more. As a glass will be filled as soon
as emptied, the guest may say in a low voice, “No
more, please!” when he has had enough. None
of these refusals should be so marked as to attract
the attention of his entertainers. A wine-glass
should never be turned down.</p>
<p>After the ladies have removed their gloves and
the dinner-roll or slice of bread has been taken
from the folded napkin and the napkin laid in the
lap, the dinner conducts itself. The chapter headed
“At Table” will answer any doubtful questions as
to the manner of eating at home or abroad.</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="sidenote">WHEN DINNER IS OVER</div>
<p>After the dinner is ended, the hostess gives a
slight signal, or makes the move to rise. The gentlemen
stand while the ladies pass out of the room,
then sit down again for their cigars, coffee and
liquors. The chairs, on rising from a dinner-table,
should not be pushed back in place. Coffee and
cordials are served to the ladies in the drawing-room,
where they are soon joined by the gentlemen.</p>
<p>When the time for departure approaches it is
the place of the woman who goes first to rise, motion
to her husband, and then as soon as she and
he have said good night to the host and hostess,<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[109]</SPAN></span>
they bow to the other guests, and retire to the
dressing-rooms. After this they go directly from
the house, not entering the drawing-room again.
If there are guests of honor they should be the first
to go.</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="sidenote">SAYING GOOD NIGHT</div>
<p>In saying good night it is perfectly proper, extremists
to the contrary notwithstanding, to thank
the entertainers for a pleasant evening. Such
thanks need not be profuse, but may be simply—“Good
night, and many thanks for a delightful evening!”
or “It is hard to leave, we have had such
a pleasant time!” One need never be afraid to
let one’s hosts know that the time spent in their
presence has passed delightfully.</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="sidenote">THE SUCCESSFUL DINNER</div>
<p>Given well-prepared food, whether simple or
elaborate, proper service, a room not too warm
and a current of fresh air that does not blow on
any one, guests sympathetically chosen, the dinner
can not fail to be a success. A young married
belle of a western city who was visiting in a smart
New York set was asked at her first dinner what
people in the West did for after-dinner entertainment.
“They talk,” she said. The people present
looked at her as if they thought that a dull way
of spending the time, and to a query of hers regarding
their methods of entertainment, replied<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[110]</SPAN></span>
that they usually “had in” a professional or professionals
of some sort for the amusement of the
guests after the eating and drinking were over.
To her taste this indicated an unenviable mental
poverty, as it will to most sensible people. The
best flavor of a successful dinner party lies not in
the food, however grateful that may be to the palate,
but in the talk. A dinner is the entertainment
at which sprightly natural talk counts for the most;
and this is probably the reason that the world over
the dinner is considered the most elegant and distinguished
form of entertainment.</p>
<hr class="chap" /></div>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[111]</SPAN></span></p>
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