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Marion Harland's Complete Etiquette

<h2>CHAPTER XXVIII IN SPORT</h2> SPORT, scientists tell us, is a relic of prehistoric pursuits; and the so-called sporting instinct is a stirring of the primeval nature within civilized breasts. Perhaps that is why more people forget the first tenets of good breeding when competing in various forms of outdoor exercise than in nearly all the other walks of life put together. The man who would view with an amiable smirk the spilling of a glass of Burgundy over his white waistcoat at a dinner, will often exhibit babyish rage at the breaking of a favorite golf-club or the stupidity of a caddie. The girl whose self-control permits her to smile and murmur: “It’s really of no consequence!” when a dance-partner’s foot tears three yards of lace off her train, will seldom show the same calm good-humor when her opponent at tennis serves balls that are too swift and too hard-driven for her to return. <hr class="tb" /> There are many concrete and a few general rules[281] for behavior in sport of all sorts, the observance or neglect of which denotes the “thoroughbred” or the boor far more accurately than would a week full of ordinary routine. The general rules apply to every form of sport. They are, briefly: First, last and always—keep your temper! Remember the word “sport” means “pastime.” When it becomes a cause of annoyance or impatience, or an occasion for loss of temper, it misses its true aim and you are not worthy to continue it. <div class="sidenote">REMEMBER THE OTHER MAN</div> Second; the “other fellow” has quite as much right to a good time as you have. Do not play selfishly, or vaunt your superiority over him. In all contests, show no elation at victory, or chagrin at defeat. This is the first and great law. Its observance differentiates the true sportsman from the mere sporting-man. Third; play fairly. The man or girl who will take an undue advantage of any description over an opponent, not only breaks the most sacred rules of good breeding, but robs himself or herself of the real enjoyment of the game. Fourth; no sport in which people of breeding can participate demands loud talking, ill-bred language or actions, or the abridgment of any of the small sweet courtesies of life. To sum up,—good breeding, fairness, self-control[282] and patience are needful equipments. Without any and all of these no man or woman should take part in sports. <hr class="tb" /> <div class="sidenote">THE GOLF-PLAYER</div> Golf, perhaps, more than any other outdoor pastime, demands a thorough and judicious blend of the foregoing qualities. The old story of the Scotch clergyman, whose conscience would not allow him to continue both golf and the ministry, and who therefore abandoned the latter, was of course an exaggeration. But the idea it expresses is by no means absurd. When a crowd of people throng the links—when novice and adept, crank and mere exercise-seeker are jumbled together in seeming confusion—it is not always easy to keep a cool head, a sweet temper and a resolution neither to give nor to take offense. Many a golf-player errs in behavior less through ill-intent than through heedlessness and ignorance of what the etiquette of the occasion demands. Such enthusiasts may profit by the ensuing rules which cover the more salient points of decorum, and which may enable the beginner to avoid many a pitfall: When two players “drive off” from the tee they should always wait until the couple in front of them have made their second shot and walked off from it. Thus confusion is averted and the proper distance[283] maintained. It is a simple rule, but one often broken. Three players should always let a pair of players pass them. Not only should they grant the desired position, but they should offer to do so before the question, “May we pass?” can be asked. The pair in question should (in case such permission is not volunteered) ask politely to be allowed to move forward. The yell of “Fore!” is all the strict rules of the game demand, but the rules of breeding should come first. A single player must give way to all larger parties. This is but fair, since golf is, preeminently, a match; and those actively engaged in the contest should have the right of way over a man who is merely practising. The “single player” must recognize and yield with good grace. If he desires unobstructed practise, let him choose some time when the links are vacant. <div class="sidenote">ON THE PUTTING GREEN</div> Never drive on the “putting green” when other players are there “putting out.” Players should not neglect to get off the green the moment they have “holed out.” The place is not intended as an isle of safety, or a club-house corner where scores may be computed, gossip exchanged, or the work of others watched. If you are at the tee waiting for others to “drive[284] off,” never speak, cough, or in any way distract the attention of the player who is addressing the ball. Inconsiderate or ill-bred people in this way spoil hundreds of good drives and thousands of good tempers every year. When a man and a woman are playing golf, the latter should always be allowed to precede on the first drive off from the first tee. A man, playing against a woman, should not allow himself to get too far ahead of her. Do not leave her to plod on alone. This same rule applies when playing with another man. Do not go after the ball after a drive until your opponent drives. Then walk together in pursuit. Never go ahead of your partner. <div class="sidenote">AVOID HASTE IN GOLF</div> Use no undue haste in golf. Never run! If you are not employing a caddie, always offer to carry the clubs of the woman with whom you are playing. In the same circumstances offer to make the tee from which she is to drive off. It is optional with her whether or not to accept your offer. When you have no caddie allow players who have caddies to pass you. They will go faster than you and should have the right of way. Never make unfavorable criticisms of others’ play. Never, above all, laugh at any of their blunders. [285] <hr class="tb" /> <div class="sidenote">WHEN MOTORING</div> Automobiling has so increased in popularity that it is almost a national pastime. And with its growing favor has sprung up a noxious and flourishing crop of bad manners. There seems to be something about the speed, the smell of gasoline or the sense of superiority over slower vehicles, that robs many an otherwise well-bred automobilist of all consideration. Yet the utmost consideration is due, not only to mere mortals but to fellow “motormen.” Common humanity, as well as civility, should always prompt a chauffeur to stop at sight of a disabled car and to ask if he can be of assistance; to offer the loan of any necessary tools or extra gasoline; or even, if necessary, to volunteer a “tow.” Do not presume on the community of interests to address the chauffeur or passengers of a passing car, any more than the passengers of one ordinary vehicle would address those of another. Do not stare at another’s car, nor, if at a standstill, examine the mechanism. This is the height of rudeness. The fact that you are so lucky as to own a car gives you no license to investigate the workings of another man’s machine, or in other ways to make yourself obnoxious. When passing a car of inferior horse-power, do not choose that moment to exhibit your own greater speed. Be careful also not to give such a car your[286] dust nor (so far as you can avoid) to sicken its occupants with the smell of your motor’s gasoline. Do not boast of the phenomenal runs you have made. You are not a record-holder. And when you become one, the newspapers will gladly exploit the fact without any viva voce testimony from you. When meeting a horse vehicle watch closely to see if the horse shows signs of fear. If he does, completely stop your car, and if the driver of the horse be a woman, dismount and lead the horse past your car. Do not violate the speed ordinance. The ordinance was made for public safety, not to spite you. Do not frighten animals or pedestrians, nor carelessly steer too near to some farmer’s live stock which may happen to be in the road. Remember the owner of the chickens or dogs you may run over is helping to pay for the smooth road you are traversing. The road is partly his, and you are in a measure his guest. <hr class="tb" /> <div class="sidenote">RULES FOR TENNIS</div> Tennis offers fewer opportunities for “breaks” than do many other of the sports of the hour. Yet good breeding is here as necessary as when playing any other game. If you have a woman for a partner and it is her “serve,” do not neglect to pick up and hand her the balls before each service. Second her more carefully[287] than if she were a man, and take charge of the extra balls for her. If a woman is your opponent, remember she has not the strength and endurance of a man. Serve gently. Do not slam balls over the net at cannonball speed and force. Oppose only moderate strength to her lesser power. Give her the benefit of the doubt in case of a “let,” or when the ball may or may not be over the back line. In “double service” do not serve the second ball until she has recovered her position from pursuing the first. The choice of rackets should also, of course, be hers; and any work, such as putting up the nets, hunting the lost ball, and so on, devolves on you. <hr class="tb" /> <div class="sidenote">THE YACHTSMAN AS HOST</div> The yachtsman is of two classes,—the man who delights in the dangers and seamanship incident on a cranky “wind-jammer” in a heavy sea, and the man whose boat is a floating club-house. Both types are prone to forget at times that their guests are not so enthusiastic as themselves; that they may be nervous or inclined to seasickness, and that the amusements of their host may not always appeal to them. The man who would never think of causing inconvenience to a guest on land will show impatience or lack of sympathy at that same guest’s timidity or mal de mer, when afloat. [288] The same rules of behavior that obtain between host and guest ashore should prevail on the yacht. The tastes of the latter should be as scrupulously considered and his or her likes and dislikes be as considerately met. <hr class="tb" /> <div class="sidenote">CANOEING</div> Similar laws of social usages apply to boating and canoeing. “The fool that rocks the boat” has received so many warnings and such just and wholesome condemnation that there is no use wasting further words on him. No man who values the safety and comfort of his companion will do anything to imperil either. A man should always offer to row, but should give the girl who is with him the option of doing so if she wishes. He should hold the boat steady for her and assist her to embark, having previously arranged the cushions in the stern and made all other possible plans for her comfort. The course they are to take should always be left to her choice, and her wishes should be consulted in every way. A girl would also do well to remember that the man who has taken her boating is doing all the work and is trying to give her a pleasant time. She should meet him half-way, and should try to repress any nervousness she may experience in being on the water and should welcome the opportunity[289] to help when occasionally requested by her “skipper” to “trim boat.” <hr class="tb" /> Swimming is essentially a man’s sport. While many women are good swimmers, they usually lack the strength and endurance to make them men’s equals in this line. A man should therefore be careful to avoid overtaxing the strength of the girl who is swimming with him; should be content to remain near the shore if she so desire, and, in surf-bathing, should lift her over the breakers, or try to shield her from their force. In teaching others to swim, infinite patience, good temper and tact are needful. Allow for the nervousness and awkwardness which are the almost inseparable attributes of beginners. <hr class="tb" /> <div class="sidenote">DRIVING AND RIDING</div> In driving always ask your companion if she or he would prefer to handle the reins. Do not, by bursts of speed, or by “fights” with a fractious horse, endanger the safety or composure of your guest. <hr class="tb" /> In riding horseback, never remain mounted when addressing some friend who is on foot. If your initial salute is to be followed by any conversation, dismount and remain on foot until you take your[290] leave. In helping a girl to the saddle, extend your hand that she may place her left foot in the palm, and on the same instant that you raise the hand she will spring into the saddle; always adjust the curb and snaffle, hand them to her and arrange her riding-habit before you mount your own horse. Cross-saddle riding for women is now so common that it is generally accepted. Still a girl who makes a visit where she expects to ride should make sure her hostess approves this method before she adopts it. Those who hold that a lady should use a side-saddle feel strongly on the subject. <hr class="tb" /> <div class="sidenote">GOOD BREEDING IN GAMES</div> There are countless pitfalls for the unwary in all forms of sport; but none that can not be readily bridged by consideration for others, by good temper, and by the commonest rules of breeding. One general rule for all sports and games is, do not take part unless you can play reasonably well. To do so otherwise is sure to embarrass you and to interfere with the pleasure of others. <hr class="chap" /></div> [291] <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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