Marion Harland's Complete Etiquette

<h2>CHAPTER XXXIX<br/> <small>WOMAN IN BUSINESS RELATIONS</small></h2> <p class="drop-cap">THE number of women who enter into business life and the number of avenues open to them for earning a living are constantly increasing. And however much we may be disposed to ridicule the agitation concerning woman’s progress and the rights of woman, no fair-minded person can fail to recognize the happy changes such agitation in the last decade has wrought in the attitude of the world toward women who make their own way in it. The old-fashioned prejudice of gentility against a woman employing her powers to make money has very largely disappeared. Many a delicate-minded woman of the old school has lived in poverty or has incurred unwillingly financial obligations to family connections because of the prejudice against her doing something for herself, because of the feeling that her social position, a matter naturally of high importance to a woman, would be injured by her stepping out of the family niche and picking up something for herself on the highway open to all.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_381" id="Page_381">[381]</SPAN></span> She feared more even than this, perhaps, the loss of those particularly feminine attributes and charms so dear to every real woman’s heart. In the old-fashioned conception of a woman who worked outside of her own home, it used to be taken for granted that she must be denied social consideration and must give up her share of fun in the world.</p> <div class="sidenote">A LIBRARY ATTENDANT</div> <p>All this is now a matter of history, and is recalled only for the purpose of showing the contrast between her former outlook and her present one. Except in a few ultra fashionable communities in the United States, the social position of a woman in business is not affected unhappily by her work. Provided she has the qualities requisite for social recognition and consideration, her business is no detriment. She has the same general opportunities for social recreation that offer themselves to a man of business, and it often happens that her work gives a zest to the enjoyment of such opportunities, unknown to women of idler habits. The writer has in mind, as an example, an engaging young woman who serves most acceptably as attendant in the public library of a western city. Her duties keep her from nine in the morning till six in the evening, but they have not, in the least, obscured her charmingly agreeable personal quality. She is much in demand. The number of her masculine admirers is large enough to excite the envy of many a girl<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_382" id="Page_382">[382]</SPAN></span> whose father’s bank-account is a large one. The attention she gives to her work seems to impart an added vivacity to her playtime.</p> <hr class="tb" /> <div class="sidenote">BUSINESS IS BUSINESS</div> <p>Notwithstanding the fact, however, that a woman may enjoy the leisure she has for social demands as much after entering business life as before, she must not carry the little graces and amenities of society into business life. Business is business with a woman as well as a man, and the woman who succeeds in the calling she has chosen is the one who does not attempt to mix its details with matters of a more recreative nature. She must not expect to win favors by any but the straightforward method of doing her work well. The prejudice which so long existed among men against women in business relations was partly caused by the thought that they could never forget that they were women, could never discuss work or business relations on impersonal and rational grounds. The first lesson a woman must learn in making her own way financially is to appreciate the fact that the office, the shop, whatever be her place of employment, is no place for superfluous courtesies. The cultivation of a cool, matter-of-fact, unsentimental way of looking at the work in hand, is the only path to honorable achievement.</p> <p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_383" id="Page_383">[383]</SPAN></span></p> <hr class="tb" /> <div class="sidenote">GOOD DRESSING IMPORTANT</div> <p>What a woman wears, cheap moralists to the contrary, is always important. It is especially important in business relations because the impression she creates is, to a considerable degree, dependent upon it. The self-supporting woman, when about her work, should not dress elaborately or conspicuously. Bright colors, jewels, extreme hats should be rigidly barred from her wardrobe. She should be dressed quietly but becomingly, with exquisite neatness and, to a reasonable extent, in the prevailing mode. A quiet elegance in style, care in the manner of putting on her clothes,—these go a long way toward creating the proper appearance for the woman in business. Human nature being as it is, the properly gowned woman of business has a far better chance than the one who is dowdily dressed.</p> <hr class="tb" /> <p>The habit of many young girls in the business world of wearing sleeves that do not come to the elbow and displaying an amount of chest that would be proper only at an evening party, is a serious mistake. Another mistake is the marked preference for wearing, even in winter time, white shirt-waists. If these waists are to be really fresh and fit for wear, a new one must be put on every day, and that is an expense that the wearers clearly can not afford.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_384" id="Page_384">[384]</SPAN></span> Dark dresses, with touches of white at neck and wrists, are a much wiser choice when one must economize.</p> <hr class="tb" /> <div class="sidenote">OPPORTUNITIES IN BUSINESS</div> <p>It is very commonly said that men have larger interests than women, and that one reason for this lies in the fact that, in their every-day work, they form, naturally and easily, relations with many people; whereas a woman’s relations with the world too often come through the more artificial channels of pleasure. A woman in business has the same opportunity for meeting people on real ground that a man has. She should take advantage of these openings to healthful communication with her kind. We have all come in contact with women who have been thus broadened and have realized in them a kind of attraction not to be found in women leading more secluded lives. It is well in summing up the pros and cons of the business woman’s life to lay stress on her advantages, and the one just named is one of which she should make the most.</p> <p>Women, as a class, are sometimes accused of a lack of method in the performance of their tasks. This is owing to the fact that the duties of domestic life may often be performed at any hour the housekeeper chooses, and that attention to them is not rigidly fixed as to time. A business career is often an effectual remedy for desultory habits. And this<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_385" id="Page_385">[385]</SPAN></span> is the reason that many women who have served a time as wage-earners come back to housekeeping with renewed energy and ability. The best housekeepers the writer has ever known were retired women of business. They put into the tasks of the home the method, the promptness they learned in a more exacting field.</p> <hr class="tb" /> <div class="sidenote">AFTER WORKING HOURS</div> <p>However, women who are engaged the greater part of the day in offices, libraries, in shops, should not be expected to engage to any large degree in household duties. It sometimes happens that the members of a family circle, in which one woman goes out to earn her bread and butter, have little consideration for her tired state of mind and body when she leaves her work and returns to her home. They expect of her a double duty, and this is manifestly unfair. It is most important that a business woman have rest or diversion in her spare time, so that she will not get into a rut, so that she may do justice to her work.</p> <div class="sidenote">A WORD OF ADVICE</div> <p>Her family should not forget that her money-making powers will be crippled by forced attention to other duties. Men are treated far more considerately in this regard than women. Nothing is allowed to interfere with the average business man’s arrangements. To facilitate these, everything possible is done by his family. This may be because<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_386" id="Page_386">[386]</SPAN></span> men are more insistent, because they have a way of demanding their rights. It would be well for women in business, well also for their families, that they should “look sharp” and pursue the same policy.</p> <hr class="chap" /></div> <p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_387" id="Page_387">[387]</SPAN></span></p> <div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />