Marion Harland's Complete Etiquette

<h2>CHAPTER XLI<br/> <small>MORE ABOUT ALLOWANCES</small></h2> <p class="drop-cap">THE arrangement between husband and wife concerning money matters should be no more definite and businesslike than that subsisting between father and children. To be taught early the real value of money is a distinct assistance to financial integrity in later life. To have in one’s possession, even as a child, a sum wholly one’s own, conduces to a feeling of self-respect and independence. As soon as a child is old enough to know what money is and that, for money, things are bought and sold, he should have an allowance, be it only a penny a week. Suggestions, but not commands, as to its expenditure should accompany the gift. Gradually the weekly or monthly amount should be increased, and instructions should be given as to its possible use.</p> <p>A child may be advised properly to divide his small funds between pleasure and charity, or between the things bought solely for his own benefit and those for the benefit of others, the value of the<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_396" id="Page_396">[396]</SPAN></span> expenditure, in each case, being dependent on the freedom of his choice. As he grows older he should be taught to expend money for necessities. He should be trained to buy his own clothes and other personal belongings. This sort of training, often disastrously neglected, is of far more practical value than many things taught in the schools. The feeling of responsibility engendered in children or young people by trusting them with a definite amount of money for certain general purposes, can scarcely fail of a happy result. It binds them to a performance of duty while it confers, at the same time, a delicious sense of freedom. An allowance for necessities gives its recipient liberty of choice in expenditure, but the choice must be judicious or the recipient suffers. This it does not take him long to find out.</p> <hr class="tb" /> <div class="sidenote">RUNNING UP BILLS</div> <p>Many a man who refuses his sons and daughters allowances, permits them to run up large bills at the various shops where they trade. Exactly what the amount of these bills will be he never knows, except that it is sure to be larger than he wishes. The children of such a man never have any ready money. They do not know what to count on and, in consequence, not being trusted, they exercise all their ingenuity to outwit the head of the family and<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_397" id="Page_397">[397]</SPAN></span> to trick from him exactly as much money as possible. A young woman with somewhat extravagant tendencies, who belonged to the class of the unallowanced, begged her father for a new gown. She pleaded and pleaded in vain. Finally, he said if she had anything that could be made over, he would stand for the bill. This word to the wise was sufficient. She took the waist-band of an old gown to her modiste who built upon it a beautiful frock for which she likewise sent in a beautiful bill. Fortunately, this daughter had a father who was a connoisseur in wit, and who could appreciate a joke even at his own expense. But the example will serve, as well as another, to illustrate the lengths to which a woman may resort when not treated as a reasonable and reasoning creature about money matters.</p> <div class="sidenote">THE CONVENIENT ALLOWANCE</div> <p>“I would rather have one-half the amount of money of which I might otherwise have the use, and have it in the form of an allowance,” said a young woman who was discussing, with other young women, the subject of expenditures. “If I <i>know</i> what I am to have, I can spend it to much better advantage. I can exercise some method in my purchases. If I don’t know, I am likely to spend a large sum on some two or three articles with the hope that more is coming. Suddenly and unexpectedly<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_398" id="Page_398">[398]</SPAN></span> father sets his foot down on further bills, and there I am with a dream of a hat but no shoes, or with a ball gown and not a coat to my back.”</p> <div class="sidenote">LEARNING HOW TO SPEND</div> <p>Money plays some part in the life of every human being belonging to a civilized nation. The question of successful and skilful expenditure is a vital question for the majority of people. It is not a question that can be solved without training. Yet we educate children in various unimportant matters, and, for the most part, leave this of money untouched. In no way can a child or a young person be taught so readily and so quickly the proper use of money as by limiting his expenses to a certain sum, which sum he nevertheless controls.</p> <hr class="chap" /></div> <p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_399" id="Page_399">[399]</SPAN></span></p> <div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />