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Flower of the Dusk

<h2>IX</h2> <h3>Taking the Chance</h3> <div class="sidenote">Dr. Conrad Comes</div> "Well, I'm here," remarked Doctor Conrad, as he sat on the beach with Eloise. "I have left all my patients in the care of an inferior, though reputable physician, who has such winning ways that he may have annexed my entire practice by the time I get back. "If you'll tell me just where these protégées of yours are, I'll go up there right away. I'll ring the bell, and when they open the door I'll say: 'I've come from Miss Wynne, and I'm to amputate this morning and remove a couple of cataracts this afternoon. Kindly have the patients get ready at once.'" "Don't joke, Allan," pleaded Eloise. Her brown eyes were misty and her mood of exalted tenderness made her in love with all the world. "If you could see that brave little thing, with her beautiful face and her divine unselfishness, hobbling around on crutches and sewing for a living, meanwhile keeping her blind old [112]father from knowing they are poor, you'd feel just as I do." <div class="sidenote">Discussing the Case</div> "It is very improbable," returned Allan, seriously, "that anything can be done. If they were well-to-do, they undoubtedly made every effort and saw everybody worth seeing." "But in twenty years," suggested Eloise, hopefully. "Think of all the progress that has been made in twenty years." "I know," said Allan, doubtfully. "All we can do is to see. And if anything can be done for them, why, of course we'll do it." "Then we'll go for a little drive," she said, "and on our way back, we can stop there and get the things I bought the other day. They have no one to send with them, and it's too much for one person to carry, anyway." "I suppose she has sold everything she had," mused Allan impersonally. "Not quite," answered Eloise, flushing. "I left her some samples for the Woman's Exchange." "Very kind," he observed, with the same air of detachment. "I can see my finish. My wife will have so much charity work for me to do that there will be no time for anything else, and, in a little while, she will have given away all the money we both have. Then when we're sitting together in the sun on the front steps of the poorhouse, we can fittingly lament the end of our usefulness." [113] <div class="sidenote">Policy of Segregation</div> "They won't let us sit together," she retorted. "Don't you know that even in the old people's homes they keep the men and women apart—husbands and wives included?" "For the love of Mike, what for?" he asked, in surprise. "Because it makes the place too gay and frivolous. Old ladies of eighty were courted by awkward swains of ninety and more, and there was so much checker-playing in the evening and so many lights burning, and so many requests for new clothes, that the management couldn't stand it. There were heart-burnings and jealousies, too, so they had to adopt a policy of segregation." "'Hope springs eternal in the human breast,'" quoted Allan. "And love," she said. "I've thought sometimes I'd like to play fairy godmother to some of those poor, desolate old people who love each other, and give them a pretty wedding. Wouldn't it be dear to see two old people married and settled in a little home of their own?" "Or, more likely, with us," he returned. "I've been thinking about a nice little house with a guest room or two, but I've changed my mind. My vote is for a very small apartment. You're not the sort to be trusted with a guest room." <div class="sidenote">Starting Off</div> Eloise laughed and sprang to her feet. "On [114]to the errand of mercy," she said. "We're wasting valuable time. Get a horse and buggy and I'll see if I can borrow an extra suit-case or two for my purchases." When she came down, Allan was waiting for her in the buggy. A bell-boy, in her wake, brought three suit-cases and piled them under the seat. Half a dozen rocking-chairs, on the veranda, held highly interested observers. The paraphernalia suggested an elopement. "Tell those women on the veranda," said Eloise, to the boy, "that I'm not taking any trunks and will soon be back." "What for?" queried Allan, as they drove away. "Reasons of my own," she answered, crisply. "Men are as blind as bats." "I'm wearing glasses," he returned, with due humility. "If you think I'm fit to hear why you left that cryptic message, I'd be pleased to." "You're far from fit. Here, turn into this road." Spread like a tawny ribbon upon the green of the hills, the road wound lazily through open sunny spaces and shaded aisles sweet with that cool fragrance found only in the woods. The horse did not hurry, but wandered comfortably from side to side of the road, browsing where he chose. He seemed to know that lovers were driving him. [115] <div class="sidenote">Horses versus Autos</div> "He's a one-armed horse, isn't he?" laughed Eloise. "I like him lots better than an automobile, don't you?" "Out here, I do. But an automobile has certain advantages." "What are they?" she demanded. "I'd rather feed a horse than to buy a tire, any day." "So would I—unless he tired of his feed. But if you want to get anywhere very quickly and the thing happens not to break, the machine is better." "But it never happens. I believe the average automobile is possessed of an intuition little short of devilish. A horse seems more friendly. If you were thinking of getting me a little electric runabout for my birthday, please change it to a horse." "All right," returned Allan, serenely. "We can keep him in the living-room of our six-room apartment and have his dinner sent in from the nearest table d'oat. For breakfast, he can come out into the salle à manger and eat cereals with us." "You're absolutely incorrigible," she sighed. "This is the river road. Follow it until I tell you where to turn." Within half an hour, the horse came to a full stop of his own accord in front of the grey, weather-worn house where Barbara lived. He was cropping at a particularly enticing clump of grass when Eloise alighted. [116] "Going to push?" queried Allan, lazily. "No, this is the place. Come on. You bring two of the suit-cases and I'll take the other." <div class="sidenote">Observations</div> The blind man was not there at the moment, but came in while Miriam was upstairs packing Miss Wynne's recent additions to her wardrobe. Doctor Conrad had been observing Barbara keenly as they talked of indifferent things. Outwardly, he was calm and professional, but within, a warmly human impulse answered her evident need. He was young and had not yet been at his work long enough to determine his ultimate nature. Later on, his profession would do to him one of two things. It would transform him into a mere machine, brutalised and calloused, with only one or two emotions aside from selfishness left to thrive in his dwarfed soul, or it would humanise him to godlike unselfishness, attune him to a divine sympathy, and mellow his heart in tenderness beyond words. In one instance he would be feared; in the other, only loved, by those who came to him. As Barbara went across the room to another chair, his eyes followed her with intense interest. Eloise shrank from him a little—she had never seen him like this before. Yet she knew, from the expression of his face, that he had found hope, and was glad. [117] "Barbara?" It was Miriam, calling from upstairs. "In just a minute, Aunty. Excuse me, please—I'll come right back." She was scarcely out of the room before Eloise leaned over to Allan, her face alight with eager questioning. "You think—?" <div class="sidenote">Willing to Try</div> "I don't know," he returned, in a low tone. "It depends on the hardness of the muscles and several other local conditions. Of course it's impossible to tell definitely without a thorough examination, but I've done it successfully in two adult cases, and have seen it done more than a dozen times. I'd be very willing to try." "Oh, Allan," whispered Eloise. "I'm so glad." Barbara's padded crutches sounded softly on the stairs as she came down. Eloise went to the window and studied the horse attentively, though he was not of the restless sort that needs to be tied. While she was watching, Ambrose North came around the base of the hill, crossed the road, and opened the gate. He had been to his old solitude at the top of the hill, where, as nowhere else, he found peace. While he was talking with the visitors, Miriam went out, taking the neatly-packed suit-cases, one at a time, and put them into the buggy. "Mr. North," said Doctor Conrad, "while [118]these girls are chattering, will you go for a little drive with me?" The blind man's fine old face illumined with pleasure. "I should like it very much," he said. "It is a long time since I had have a drive." "It's more like a walk," laughed Allan, as they went out, "with this horse." "We sold our horses many years ago," the old man explained, as he climbed in. "Miriam is afraid of horses and Barbara said she did not care to go. I thought the open air and the slight exercise would be good for her, but she insisted upon my selling them." <div class="sidenote">About Barbara</div> "It is about Barbara that I wished to speak," said Allan. "With your consent, I should like to make a thorough examination and see whether an operation would not do away with her crutches entirely." "It is no use," sighed North, wearily. "We went everywhere and did everything, long ago. There is nothing that can be done." "But there may be," insisted Allan. "We have learned much, in my profession, in the last twenty years. May I try?" "You're asking me if you can hurt my baby?" "Not to hurt her more than is necessary to heal. Understand me, I do not know but what you are right, but I hope, and believe, that there may be a chance." [119] "I have dreamed sometimes," said the old man, very slowly, "that my baby could walk and I could see." <div class="sidenote">If Possible</div> "The dream shall come true, if it is possible. Let me see your eyes." He stopped the horse on the brow of the hill, where the sun shone clear and strong, stood up, and turned the blind face to the light. Then, sitting down once more, he asked innumerable questions. When he finally was silent, Ambrose North turned to him, indifferently. "Well?" The tone was simply polite inquiry. The matter seemed to be one which concerned nobody. "Again I do not know," returned Allan. "This is altogether out of my line, but, if you'll go to the city with me, I'll take you to a friend of mine who is a great specialist. If anything can be done, he is the man who can do it. Will you come?" There was a long pause. "If Barbara is willing," he answered simply. "Ask her." <hr style='width: 45%;' /> <div class="sidenote">The Plunge</div> Meanwhile, Eloise was talking to Barbara. First, she told her of the letters she had written in her behalf and to which the answers might come any day now. Then she asked if she might order preserves from Aunt Miriam, and discussed patterns and material for the lingerie she had previously spoken of. Finding, at length, that the best way to approach a diffi[120]cult subject was the straightest one, she took the plunge. "Have you always been lame?" she asked. She did not look at Barbara, but tried to speak carelessly, as she gazed out of the window. "Yes," came the answer, so low that she could scarcely hear it. "Wouldn't you like to walk like the rest of us?" continued Eloise. Barbara writhed under the torturing question. "My mind can walk," she said, with difficulty; "my soul isn't lame." The tone made Eloise turn quickly—and hate herself bitterly for her awkwardness. She saw that an apology would only make a bad matter worse, so she went straight on. "Doctor Conrad is very skilful," she continued. "In the city, he is one of the few really great surgeons. He told me that he would like to make an examination and see if an operation would not do away with the crutches. He thinks there may be a good chance. If there is, will you take it?" "Thank you," said Barbara, almost inaudibly. Her voice had sunk to a whisper and she was very pale. "I do not mean to seem ungrateful, but it is impossible." "Impossible!" repeated Eloise. "Why?" "Because of father," explained Barbara. Her colour was coming back slowly now. "I [121]am all he has, my work supplies his needs, and I dare not take the risk." "Is that the only reason?" Barbara nodded. "You're not afraid?" Barbara's blue eyes opened wide with astonishment. "Why should I be afraid?" she asked. "Do you take me for a coward?" Eloise knelt beside Barbara's low chair and put her strong arms around the slender, white-clad figure. "Listen, dear," she said. Her face was shining as though with some great inner light. "My own dear father died when I was a child. My mother died when I was born. I have never had anything but money. I have never had anyone to take care of, no one to make sacrifices for, no one to make me strong because I was needed. If the worst should happen, would you trust your father to me? Could you trust me?" "Yes," said Barbara slowly; "I could." <div class="sidenote">A Compact</div> "Then I promise you solemnly that your father shall never want for anything while he lives. And now, if there is a chance, will you take it—for me?" Barbara looked long into the sweet face, glorified by the inner light. Then she leaned forward and put her soft arms around the older woman, hiding her face in the masses of copper-coloured hair. [122] "For you? A thousand times, yes," she sobbed. "Oh, anything for you!" <hr style='width: 45%;' /> Late in the afternoon, when Ambrose North and Barbara were alone again, he came over to her chair and stroked her shining hair with a loving hand. "Did they tell you, dear?" he asked. "Yes," whispered Barbara. "I have dreamed so often that my baby could walk and I could see. He said that the dream should come true if he could make it so." "Did he say anything about your eyes?" asked Barbara, in astonishment. <div class="sidenote">Hopeful</div> "Yes. He thinks there may be a chance there, too. If you are willing, I am to go to the city with him sometime and see a friend of his who is a great specialist." "Oh, Daddy," cried Barbara. "I'm afraid—for you." He drew a chair up near hers and sat down. The old hand, in which the pulses moved so slowly, clasped the younger one, warm with life. "Barbara," he said; "I have never seen my baby." "I know, Daddy." "I want to see you, dear." "And I want you to." "Then, will you let me go?" [123] "Perhaps, but it must be—afterward, you know." "Why?" "Because, when you see me, I want to be strong and well. I want to be able to walk. You mustn't see the crutches, Daddy—they are ugly things." "Nothing could be ugly that belongs to you. I made a little song this afternoon, while you and Miriam were talking and I was out alone." "Tell me." <div class="sidenote">In a Beautiful Garden</div> "Once there was a man who had a garden. When he was a child he had played in it, in his youth and early manhood he had worked in it and found pleasure in seeing things grow, but he did not really know what a beautiful garden it was until another walked in it with him and found it fair. "Together they watched it from Springtime to harvest, finding new beauty in it every day. One night at twilight she whispered to him that some day a perfect flower of their very own was to bloom in the garden. They watched and waited and prayed for it together, but, before it blossomed, the man went blind. "In the darkness, he could not see the garden, but she was still there, bringing divine consolation with her touch, and whispering to him always of the perfect flower so soon to be their own. "When it blossomed, the man could not see [124]it, but the one who walked beside him told him that it was as pure and fair as they had prayed it might be. They enjoyed it together for a year, and he saw it through her eyes. "Then she went to God's Garden, and he was left desolate and alone. He cared for nothing and for a time even forgot the flower that she had left. Weeds grew among the flowers, nettles and thistles took possession of the walks, and strange vines choked with their tendrils everything that dared to bloom. <div class="sidenote">A Perfect Flower</div> "One day, he went out into the intolerable loneliness and desolation, and, groping blindly, he found among the nettles and thistles and weeds the one perfect white blossom. It was cool and soft to his hot hand, it was exquisitely fragrant, and, more than all, it was part of her. Gradually, it eased his pain. He took out the weeds and thistles as best he could, but there was little he could do, for he had left it too long. "The years went by, but the flower did not fade. Seeking, he always found it; weary, it always refreshed him; starving, it fed his soul. Blind, it gave him sight; weak, it gave him courage; hurt, it brought him balm. At last he lived only because of it, for, in some mysterious way, it seemed to need him, too, and sometimes it even seemed divinely to restore the lost. "Flower of the Dusk," he said, leaning to Barbara; "what should I have been without you? How could I have borne it all?" [125] <div class="sidenote">Strength for the Burden</div> "God suits the burden to the bearer, I think," she answered, softly. "If you have much to bear, it is because you are strong enough to do it nobly and well. Only the weak are allowed to shirk, and shift their load to the shoulders of the strong." "I know, but, Barbara—suppose——" "There is nothing to suppose, Daddy. Whatever happened would be the best that could happen. I'm not afraid." Her voice rang clear and strong. Insensibly, he caught some of her own fine courage and his soul rallied greatly to meet hers. From her height she had summoned him as with a bugle-call, and he had answered. "The ways of the Everlasting are not our ways," he said, "but I will not be afraid. No, I will not let myself be afraid." [126] <hr style="width: 65%;" /> <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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