<h3 align="CENTER">Chapter 5</h3>
<p>It will be generally admitted that Beethoven's Fifth Symphony
is the most sublime noise that has ever penetrated into the ear
of man. All sorts and conditions are satisfied by it. Whether
you are like Mrs. Munt, and tap surreptitiously when the tunes
come--of course, not so as to disturb the others--; or like
Helen, who can see heroes and shipwrecks in the music's flood; or
like Margaret, who can only see the music; or like Tibby, who is
profoundly versed in counterpoint, and holds the full score open
on his knee; or like their cousin, Fräulein Mosebach, who
remembers all the time that Beethoven is "echt Deutsch"; or like
Fräulein Mosebach's young man, who can remember nothing but
Fräulein Mosebach: in any case, the passion of your life
becomes more vivid, and you are bound to admit that such a noise
is cheap at two shillings. It is cheap, even if you hear it in
the Queen's Hall, dreariest music-room in London, though not as
dreary as the Free Trade Hall, Manchester; and even if you sit on
the extreme left of that hall, so that the brass bumps at you
before the rest of the orchestra arrives, it is still cheap.<br/>
"Who is Margaret talking to?" said Mrs. Munt, at the
conclusion of the first movement. She was again in London on a
visit to Wickham Place.<br/>
Helen looked down the long line of their party, and said that
she did not know.<br/>
"Would it be some young man or other whom she takes an
interest in?"<br/>
"I expect so," Helen replied. Music enwrapped her, and she
could not enter into the distinction that divides young men whom
one takes an interest in from young men whom one knows.<br/>
"You girls are so wonderful in always having--Oh dear! one
mustn't talk."<br/>
For the Andante had begun--very beautiful, but bearing a
family likeness to all the other beautiful Andantes that
Beethoven had written, and, to Helen's mind, rather disconnecting
the heroes and shipwrecks of the first movement from the heroes
and goblins of the third. She heard the tune through once, and
then her attention wandered, and she gazed at the audience, or
the organ, or the architecture. Much did she censure the
attenuated Cupids who encircle the ceiling of the Queen's Hall,
inclining each to each with vapid gesture, and clad in sallow
pantaloons, on which the October sunlight struck. "How awful to
marry a man like those Cupids!" thought Helen. Here Beethoven
started decorating his tune, so she heard him through once more,
and then she smiled at her cousin Frieda. But Frieda, listening
to Classical Music, could not respond. Herr Liesecke, too,
looked as if wild horses could not make him inattentive; there
were lines across his forehead, his lips were parted, his
pince-nez at right angles to his nose, and he had laid a thick,
white hand on either knee. And next to her was Aunt Juley, so
British, and wanting to tap. How interesting that row of people
was! What diverse influences had gone to the making! Here
Beethoven, after humming and hawing with great sweetness, said
"Heigho," and the Andante came to an end. Applause, and a round
of "wunderschöning" and "prachtvolleying" from the German
contingent. Margaret started talking to her new young man; Helen
said to her aunt: "Now comes the wonderful movement: first of all
the goblins, and then a trio of elephants dancing;" and Tibby
implored the company generally to look out for the transitional
passage on the drum.<br/>
"On the what, dear?"<br/>
"On the <em>drum</em>, Aunt Juley."<br/>
"No; look out for the part where you think you have done with
the goblins and they come back," breathed Helen, as the music
started with a goblin walking quietly over the universe, from end
to end. Others followed him. They were not aggressive
creatures; it was that that made them so terrible to Helen. They
merely observed in passing that there was no such thing as
splendour or heroism in the world. After the interlude of
elephants dancing, they returned and made the observation for the
second time. Helen could not contradict them, for, once at all
events, she had felt the same, and had seen the reliable walls of
youth collapse. Panic and emptiness! Panic and emptiness! The
goblins were right.<br/>
Her brother raised his finger: it was the transitional
passage on the drum.<br/>
For, as if things were going too far, Beethoven took hold of
the goblins and made them do what he wanted. He appeared in
person. He gave them a little push, and they began to walk in
major key instead of in a minor, and then--he blew with his mouth
and they were scattered! Gusts of splendour, gods and demigods
contending with vast swords, colour and fragrance broadcast on
the field of battle, magnificent victory, magnificent death! Oh,
it all burst before the girl, and she even stretched out her
gloved hands as if it was tangible. Any fate was titanic; any
contest desirable; conqueror and conquered would alike be
applauded by the angels of the utmost stars.<br/>
And the goblins--they had not really been there at all? They
were only the phantoms of cowardice and unbelief? One healthy
human impulse would dispel them? Men like the Wilcoxes, or
President Roosevelt, would say yes. Beethoven knew better. The
goblins really had been there. They might return--and they did.
It was as if the splendour of life might boil over--and waste to
steam and froth. In its dissolution one heard the terrible,
ominous note, and a goblin, with increased malignity, walked
quietly over the universe from end to end. Panic and emptiness!
Panic and emptiness! Even the flaming ramparts of the world
might fall.<br/>
Beethoven chose to make all right in the end. He built the
ramparts up. He blew with his mouth for the second time, and
again the goblins were scattered. He brought back the gusts of
splendour, the heroism, the youth, the magnificence of life and
of death, and, amid vast roarings of a superhuman joy, he led his
Fifth Symphony to its conclusion. But the goblins were there.
They could return. He had said so bravely, and that is why one
can trust Beethoven when he says other things.<br/>
Helen pushed her way out during the applause. She desired to
be alone. The music summed up to her all that had happened or
could happen in her career. She read it as a tangible statement,
which could never be superseded. The notes meant this and that
to her, and they could have no other meaning, and life could have
no other meaning. She pushed right out of the building, and
walked slowly down the outside staircase, breathing the autumnal
air, and then she strolled home.<br/>
"Margaret," called Mrs. Munt, "is Helen all right?"<br/>
"Oh yes."<br/>
"She is always going away in the middle of a programme," said
Tibby.<br/>
"The music has evidently moved her deeply," said
Fräulein Mosebach.<br/>
"Excuse me," said Margaret's young man, who had for some time
been preparing a sentence, "but that lady has, quite
inadvertently, taken my umbrella."<br/>
"Oh, good gracious me! --I am so sorry. Tibby, run after
Helen."<br/>
"I shall miss the Four Serious Songs if I do."<br/>
"Tibby love, you must go."<br/>
"It isn't of any consequence," said the young man, in truth a
little uneasy about his umbrella.<br/>
"But of course it is. Tibby! Tibby!"<br/>
Tibby rose to his feet, and wilfully caught his person on the
backs of the chairs. By the time he had tipped up the seat and
had found his hat, and had deposited his full score in safety, it
was "too late" to go after Helen. The Four Serious Songs had
begun, and one could not move during their performance.<br/>
"My sister is so careless," whispered Margaret.<br/>
"Not at all," replied the young man; but his voice was dead
and cold.<br/>
"If you would give me your address--"<br/>
"Oh, not at all, not at all;" and he wrapped his greatcoat
over his knees.<br/>
Then the Four Serious Songs rang shallow in Margaret's ears.
Brahms, for all his grumbling and grizzling, had never guessed
what it felt like to be suspected of stealing an umbrella. For
this fool of a young man thought that she and Helen and Tibby had
been playing the confidence trick on him, and that if he gave his
address they would break into his rooms some midnight or other
and steal his walkingstick too. Most ladies would have laughed,
but Margaret really minded, for it gave her a glimpse into
squalor. To trust people is a luxury in which only the wealthy
can indulge; the poor cannot afford it. As soon as Brahms had
grunted himself out, she gave him her card and said, "That is
where we live; if you preferred, you could call for the umbrella
after the concert, but I didn't like to trouble you when it has
all been our fault."<br/>
His face brightened a little when he saw that Wickham Place
was W. It was sad to see him corroded with suspicion, and yet not
daring to be impolite, in case these well-dressed people were
honest after all. She took it as a good sign that he said to
her, "It's a fine programme this afternoon, is it not?" for this
was the remark with which he had originally opened, before the
umbrella intervened.<br/>
"The Beethoven's fine," said Margaret, who was not a female
of the encouraging type. "I don't like the Brahms, though, nor
the Mendelssohn that came first--and ugh! I don't like this
Elgar that's coming."<br/>
"What, what?" called Herr Liesecke, overhearing. "The
<em>Pomp and Circumstance</em> will not be fine?"<br/>
"Oh, Margaret, you tiresome girl!" cried her aunt. "Here
have I been persuading Herr Liesecke to stop for <em>Pomp and
Circumstance</em>, and you are undoing all my work. I am so
anxious for him to hear what we are doing in music. Oh, you
mustn't run down our English composers, Margaret."<br/>
"For my part, I have heard the composition at Stettin," said
Fräulein Mosebach. "On two occasions. It is dramatic, a
little."<br/>
"Frieda, you despise English music. You know you do. And
English art. And English Literature, except Shakespeare and he's
a German. Very well, Frieda, you may go."<br/>
The lovers laughed and glanced at each other. Moved by a
common impulse, they rose to their feet and fled from <em>Pomp
and Circumstance</em>.<br/>
"We have this call to play in Finsbury Circus, it is true,"
said Herr Liesecke, as he edged past her and reached the gangway
just as the music started.<br/>
"Margaret--" loudly whispered by Aunt Juley. "Margaret,
Margaret! Fräulein Mosebach has left her beautiful little
bag behind her on the seat."<br/>
Sure enough, there was Frieda's reticule, containing her
address book, her pocket dictionary, her map of London, and her
money.<br/>
"Oh, what a bother--what a family we are! Fr-Frieda!"<br/>
"Hush!" said all those who thought the music fine.<br/>
"But it's the number they want in Finsbury Circus--"<br/>
"Might I--couldn't I--" said the suspicious young man, and
got very red.<br/>
"Oh, I would be so grateful."<br/>
He took the bag--money clinking inside it--and slipped up the
gangway with it. He was just in time to catch them at the
swing-door, and he received a pretty smile from the German girl
and a fine bow from her cavalier. He returned to his seat
up-sides with the world. The trust that they had reposed in him
was trivial, but he felt that it cancelled his mistrust for them,
and that probably he would not be "had" over his umbrella. This
young man had been "had" in the past--badly, perhaps
overwhelmingly--and now most of his energies went in defending
himself against the unknown. But this afternoon--perhaps on
account of music--he perceived that one must slack off
occasionally, or what is the good of being alive? Wickham Place,
W., though a risk, was as safe as most things, and he would risk
it.<br/>
So when the concert was over and Margaret said, "We live
quite near; I am going there now. Could you walk around with me,
and we'll find your umbrella?" he said, "Thank you," peaceably,
and followed her out of the Queen's Hall. She wished that he was
not so anxious to hand a lady downstairs, or to carry a lady's
programme for her--his class was near enough her own for its
manners to vex her. But she found him interesting on the
whole--every one interested the Schlegels on the whole at that
time--and while her lips talked culture, her heart was planning
to invite him to tea.<br/>
"How tired one gets after music!" she began.<br/>
"Do you find the atmosphere of Queen's Hall oppressive?"<br/>
"Yes, horribly."<br/>
"But surely the atmosphere of Covent Garden is even more
oppressive."<br/>
"Do you go there much?"<br/>
"When my work permits, I attend the gallery for, the Royal
Opera."<br/>
Helen would have exclaimed, "So do I. I love the gallery,"
and thus have endeared herself to the young man. Helen could do
these things. But Margaret had an almost morbid horror of
"drawing people out," of "making things go." She had been to the
gallery at Covent Garden, but she did not "attend" it, preferring
the more expensive seats; still less did she love it. So she
made no reply.<br/>
"This year I have been three times--to <em>Faust</em>,
<em>Tosca</em>, and--" Was it "Tannhouser" or "Tannhoyser"?
Better not risk the word.<br/>
Margaret disliked <em>Tosca</em> and <em>Faust</em>. And so,
for one reason and another, they walked on in silence, chaperoned
by the voice of Mrs. Munt, who was getting into difficulties with
her nephew.<br/>
"I do in a <em>way</em> remember the passage, Tibby, but when
every instrument is so beautiful, it is difficult to pick out one
thing rather than another. I am sure that you and Helen take me
to the very nicest concerts. Not a dull note from beginning to
end. I only wish that our German friends would have stayed till
it finished."<br/>
"But surely you haven't forgotten the drum steadily beating
on the low C, Aunt Juley?" came Tibby's voice. "No one could.
It's unmistakable."<br/>
"A specially loud part?" hazarded Mrs. Munt. "Of course I do
not go in for being musical," she added, the shot failing. "I
only care for music--a very different thing. But still I will
say this for myself--I do know when I like a thing and when I
don't. Some people are the same about pictures. They can go
into a picture gallery--Miss Conder can--and say straight off
what they feel, all round the wall. I never could do that. But
music is so different to pictures, to my mind. When it comes to
music I am as safe as houses, and I assure you, Tibby, I am by no
means pleased by everything. There was a thing--something about
a faun in French--which Helen went into ecstasies over, but I
thought it most tinkling and superficial, and said so, and I held
to my opinion too."<br/>
"Do you agree?" asked Margaret. "Do you think music is so
different to pictures?"<br/>
"I--I should have thought so, kind of," he said.<br/>
"So should I. Now, my sister declares they're just the same.
We have great arguments over it. She says I'm dense; I say she's
sloppy." Getting under way, she cried: "Now, doesn't it seem
absurd to you? What is the good of the Arts if they are
interchangeable? What is the good of the ear if it tells you the
same as the eye? Helen's one aim is to translate tunes into the
language of painting, and pictures into the language of music.
It's very ingenious, and she says several pretty things in the
process, but what's gained, I'd like to know? Oh, it's all
rubbish, radically false. If Monet's really Debussy, and
Debussy's really Monet, neither gentleman is worth his
salt--that's my opinion.<br/>
Evidently these sisters quarrelled.<br/>
"Now, this very symphony that we've just been having--she
won't let it alone. She labels it with meanings from start to
finish; turns it into literature. I wonder if the day will ever
return when music will be treated as music. Yet I don't know.
There's my brother--behind us. He treats music as music, and oh,
my goodness! He makes me angrier than anyone, simply furious.
With him I daren't even argue."<br/>
An unhappy family, if talented.<br/>
"But, of course, the real villain is Wagner. He has done
more than any man in the nineteenth century towards the muddling
of arts. I do feel that music is in a very serious state just
now, though extraordinarily interesting. Every now and then in
history there do come these terrible geniuses, like Wagner, who
stir up all the wells of thought at once. For a moment it's
splendid. Such a splash as never was. But afterwards--such a
lot of mud; and the wells--as it were, they communicate with each
other too easily now, and not one of them will run quite clear.
That's what Wagner's done."<br/>
Her speeches fluttered away from the young man like birds.
If only he could talk like this, he would have caught the world.
Oh to acquire culture! Oh, to pronounce foreign names
correctly! Oh, to be well informed, discoursing at ease on every
subject that a lady started! But it would take one years. With
an hour at lunch and a few shattered hours in the evening, how
was it possible to catch up with leisured women, who had been
reading steadily from childhood? His brain might be full of
names, he might have even heard of Monet and Debussy; the trouble
was that he could not string them together into a sentence, he
could not make them "tell," he could not quite forget about his
stolen umbrella. Yes, the umbrella was the real trouble. Behind
Monet and Debussy the umbrella persisted, with the steady beat of
a drum. "I suppose my umbrella will be all right," he was
thinking. "I don't really mind about it. I will think about
music instead. I suppose my umbrella will be all right." Earlier
in the afternoon he had worried about seats. Ought he to have
paid as much as two shillings? Earlier still he had wondered,
"Shall I try to do without a programme?" There had always been
something to worry him ever since he could remember, always
something that distracted him in the pursuit of beauty. For he
did pursue beauty, and therefore, Margaret's speeches did flutter
away from him like birds.<br/>
Margaret talked ahead, occasionally saying, "Don't you think
so? don't you feel the same?" And once she stopped, and said
"Oh, do interrupt me!" which terrified him. She did not attract
him, though she filled him with awe. Her figure was meagre, her
face seemed all teeth and eyes, her references to her sister and
brother were uncharitable. For all her cleverness and culture,
she was probably one of those soulless, atheistical women who
have been so shown up by Miss Corelli. It was surprising (and
alarming) that she should suddenly say, "I do hope that you'll
come in and have some tea."<br/>
"I do hope that you'll come in and have some tea. We should
be so glad. I have dragged you so far out of your way."<br/>
They had arrived at Wickham Place. The sun had set, and the
backwater, in deep shadow, was filling with a gentle haze. To
the right of the fantastic skyline of the flats towered black
against the hues of evening; to the left the older houses raised
a square-cut, irregular parapet against the grey. Margaret
fumbled for her latchkey. Of course she had forgotten it. So,
grasping her umbrella by its ferrule, she leant over the area and
tapped at the dining-room window.<br/>
"Helen! Let us in!"<br/>
"All right," said a voice.<br/>
"You've been taking this gentleman's umbrella."<br/>
"Taken a what?" said Helen, opening the door. "Oh, what's
that? Do come in! How do you do?"<br/>
"Helen, you must not be so ramshackly. You took this
gentleman's umbrella away from Queen's Hall, and he has had the
trouble of coming for it."<br/>
"Oh, I am so sorry!" cried Helen, all her hair flying. She
had pulled off her hat as soon as she returned, and had flung
herself into the big dining-room chair. "I do nothing but steal
umbrellas. I am so very sorry! Do come in and choose one. Is
yours a hooky or a nobbly? Mine's a nobbly--at least, I
<em>think</em> it is."<br/>
The light was turned on, and they began to search the hall,
Helen, who had abruptly parted with the Fifth Symphony,
commenting with shrill little cries.<br/>
"Don't you talk, Meg! You stole an old gentleman's silk
top-hat. Yes, she did, Aunt Juley. It is a positive fact. She
thought it was a muff. Oh, heavens! I've knocked the In and Out
card down. Where's Frieda? Tibby, why don't you ever--No, I
can't remember what I was going to say. That wasn't it, but do
tell the maids to hurry tea up. What about this umbrella?" She
opened it. "No, it's all gone along the seams. It's an
appalling umbrella. It must be mine."<br/>
But it was not.<br/>
He took it from her, murmured a few words of thanks, and then
fled, with the lilting step of the clerk.<br/>
"But if you will stop--" cried Margaret. "Now, Helen, how
stupid you've been!"<br/>
"Whatever have I done?"<br/>
"Don't you see that you've frightened him away? I meant him
to stop to tea. You oughtn't to talk about stealing or holes in
an umbrella. I saw his nice eyes getting so miserable. No, it's
not a bit of good now." For Helen had darted out into the street,
shouting, "Oh, do stop!"<br/>
"I dare say it is all for the best," opined Mrs. Munt. "We
know nothing about the young man, Margaret, and your drawing-room
is full of very tempting little things."<br/>
But Helen cried: "Aunt Juley, how can you! You make me more
and more ashamed. I'd rather he <em>had</em> been a thief and
taken all the apostle spoons than that I--Well, I must shut the
front-door, I suppose. One more failure for Helen."<br/>
"Yes, I think the apostle spoons could have gone as rent,"
said Margaret. Seeing that her aunt did not understand, she
added: "You remember 'rent.' It was one of father's words--Rent
to the ideal, to his own faith in human nature. You remember how
he would trust strangers, and if they fooled him he would say,
'It's better to be fooled than to be suspicious'--that the
confidence trick is the work of man, but the
want-of-confidence-trick is the work of the devil."<br/>
"I remember something of the sort now," said Mrs. Munt,
rather tartly, for she longed to add, "It was lucky that your
father married a wife with money." But this was unkind, and she
contented herself with, "Why, he might have stolen the little
Ricketts picture as well."<br/>
"Better that he had," said Helen stoutly.<br/>
"No, I agree with Aunt Juley," said Margaret. "I'd rather
mistrust people than lose my little Ricketts. There are
limits."<br/>
Their brother, finding the incident commonplace, had stolen
upstairs to see whether there were scones for tea. He warmed the
teapot--almost too deftly--rejected the Orange Pekoe that the
parlour-maid had provided, poured in five spoonfuls of a superior
blend, filled up with really boiling water, and now called to the
ladies to be quick or they would lose the aroma.<br/>
"All right, Auntie Tibby," called Helen, while Margaret,
thoughtful again, said: "In a way, I wish we had a real boy in
the house--the kind of boy who cares for men. It would make
entertaining so much easier."<br/>
"So do I," said her sister. "Tibby only cares for cultured
females singing Brahms." And when they joined him she said rather
sharply: "Why didn't you make that young man welcome, Tibby? You
must do the host a little, you know. You ought to have taken his
hat and coaxed him into stopping, instead of letting him be
swamped by screaming women."<br/>
Tibby sighed, and drew a long strand of hair over his
forehead.<br/>
"Oh, it's no good looking superior. I mean what I say."<br/>
"Leave Tibby alone!" said Margaret, who could not bear her
brother to be scolded.<br/>
"Here's the house a regular hen-coop!" grumbled Helen.<br/>
"Oh, my dear!" protested Mrs. Munt. "How can you say such
dreadful things! The number of men you get here has always
astonished me. If there is any danger it's the other way
round."<br/>
"Yes, but it's the wrong sort of men, Helen means."<br/>
"No, I don't," corrected Helen. "We get the right sort of
man, but the wrong side of him, and I say that's Tibby's fault.
There ought to be a something about the house--an--I don't know
what."<br/>
"A touch of the W.'s, perhaps?"<br/>
Helen put out her tongue.<br/>
"Who are the W.'s?" asked Tibby.<br/>
"The W.'s are things I and Meg and Aunt Juley know about and
you don't, so there!"<br/>
"I suppose that ours is a female house," said Margaret, "and
one must just accept it. No, Aunt Juley, I don't mean that this
house is full of women. I am trying to say something much more
clever. I mean that it was irrevocably feminine, even in
father's time. Now I'm sure you understand! Well, I'll give you
another example. It'll shock you, but I don't care. Suppose
Queen Victoria gave a dinner-party, and that the guests had been
Leighton, Millais, Swinburne, Rossetti, Meredith, Fitzgerald,
etc. Do you suppose that the atmosphere of that dinner would
have been artistic? Heavens no! The very chairs on which they
sat would have seen to that. So with our house--it must be
feminine, and all we can do is to see that it isn't effeminate.
Just as another house that I can mention, but I won't, sounded
irrevocably masculine, and all its inmates can do is to see that
it isn't brutal."<br/>
"That house being the W.'s house, I presume," said Tibby.<br/>
"You're not going to be told about the W.'s, my child," Helen
cried, "so don't you think it. And on the other hand, I don't
the least mind if you find out, so don't you think you've done
anything clever, in either case. Give me a cigarette."<br/>
"You do what you can for the house," said Margaret. "The
drawing-room reeks of smoke."<br/>
"If you smoked too, the house might suddenly turn masculine.
Atmosphere is probably a question of touch and go. Even at Queen
Victoria's dinner-party--if something had been just a little
different--perhaps if she'd worn a clinging Liberty tea-gown
instead of a magenta satin--"<br/>
"With an Indian shawl over her shoulders--"<br/>
"Fastened at the bosom with a Cairngorm-pin--"<br/>
Bursts of disloyal laughter--you must remember that they are
half German--greeted these suggestions, and Margaret said
pensively, "How inconceivable it would be if the Royal Family
cared about Art." And the conversation drifted away and away,
and Helen's cigarette turned to a spot in the darkness, and the
great flats opposite were sown with lighted windows, which
vanished and were relit again, and vanished incessantly. Beyond
them the thoroughfare roared gently--a tide that could never be
quiet, while in the east, invisible behind the smokes of Wapping,
the moon was rising.<br/>
"That reminds me, Margaret. We might have taken that young
man into the dining-room, at all events. Only the majolica
plate--and that is so firmly set in the wall. I am really
distressed that he had no tea."<br/>
For that little incident had impressed the three women more
than might be supposed. It remained as a goblin football, as a
hint that all is not for the best in the best of all possible
worlds, and that beneath these superstructures of wealth and art
there wanders an ill-fed boy, who has recovered his umbrella
indeed, but who has left no address behind him, and no name.</p>
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