<h3 align="CENTER">Chapter 12</h3>
<p>Charles need not have been anxious. Miss Schlegel had never
heard of his mother's strange request. She was to hear of it in
after years, when she had built up her life differently, and it
was to fit into position as the headstone of the corner. Her
mind was bent on other questions now, and by her also it would
have been rejected as the fantasy of an invalid.<br/>
She was parting from these Wilcoxes for the second time.
Paul and his mother, ripple and great wave, had flowed into her
life and ebbed out of it for ever. The ripple had left no traces
behind: the wave had strewn at her feet fragments torn from the
unknown. A curious seeker, she stood for a while at the verge of
the sea that tells so little, but tells a little, and watched the
outgoing of this last tremendous tide. Her friend had vanished
in agony, but not, she believed, in degradation. Her withdrawal
had hinted at other things besides disease and pain. Some leave
our life with tears, others with an insane frigidity; Mrs. Wilcox
had taken the middle course, which only rarer natures can
pursue. She had kept proportion. She had told a little of her
grim secret to her friends, but not too much; she had shut up her
heart--almost, but not entirely. It is thus, if there is any
rule, that we ought to die--neither as victim nor as fanatic, but
as the seafarer who can greet with an equal eye the deep that he
is entering, and the shore that he must leave.<br/>
The last word--whatever it would be--had certainly not been
said in Hilton churchyard. She had not died there. A funeral is
not death, any more than baptism is birth or marriage union. All
three are the clumsy devices, coming now too late, now too early,
by which Society would register the quick motions of man. In
Margaret's eyes Mrs. Wilcox had escaped registration. She had
gone out of life vividly, her own way, and no dust was so truly
dust as the contents of that heavy coffin, lowered with
ceremonial until it rested on the dust of the earth, no flowers
so utterly wasted as the chrysanthemums that the frost must have
withered before morning. Margaret had once said she "loved
superstition." It was not true. Few women had tried more
earnestly to pierce the accretions in which body and soul are
enwrapped. The death of Mrs. Wilcox had helped her in her work.
She saw a little more clearly than hitherto what a human being
is, and to what he may aspire. Truer relationships gleamed.
Perhaps the last word would be hope--hope even on this side of
the grave.<br/>
Meanwhile, she could take an interest in the survivors. In
spite of her Christmas duties, in spite of her brother, the
Wilcoxes continued to play a considerable part in her thoughts.
She had seen so much of them in the final week. They were not
"her sort," they were often suspicious and stupid, and deficient
where she excelled; but collision with them stimulated her, and
she felt an interest that verged into liking, even for Charles.
She desired to protect them, and often felt that they could
protect her, excelling where she was deficient. Once past the
rocks of emotion, they knew so well what to do, whom to send for;
their hands were on all the ropes, they had grit as well as
grittiness, and she valued grit enormously. They led a life that
she could not attain to--the outer life of "telegrams and anger,"
which had detonated when Helen and Paul had touched in June, and
had detonated again the other week. To Margaret this life was to
remain a real force. She could not despise it, as Helen and
Tibby affected to do. It fostered such virtues as neatness,
decision, and obedience, virtues of the second rank, no doubt,
but they have formed our civilization. They form character, too;
Margaret could not doubt it: they keep the soul from becoming
sloppy. How dare Schlegels despise Wilcoxes, when it takes all
sorts to make a world? <br/>
"Don't brood too much," she wrote to Helen, "on the
superiority of the unseen to the seen. It's true, but to brood
on it is mediaeval. Our business is not to contrast the two, but
to reconcile them."<br/>
Helen replied that she had no intention of brooding on such a
dull subject. What did her sister take her for? The weather was
magnificent. She and the Mosebachs had gone tobogganing on the
only hill that Pomerania boasted. It was fun, but overcrowded,
for the rest of Pomerania had gone there too. Helen loved the
country, and her letter glowed with physical exercise and
poetry. She spoke of the scenery, quiet, yet august; of the
snow-clad fields, with their scampering herds of deer; of the
river and its quaint entrance into the Baltic Sea; of the
Oderberge, only three hundred feet high, from which one slid all
too quickly back into the Pomeranian plains, and yet these
Oderberge were real mountains, with pine-forests, streams, and
views complete. "It isn't size that counts so much as the way
things are arranged." In another paragraph she referred to Mrs.
Wilcox sympathetically, but the news had not bitten into her.
She had not realized the accessories of death, which are in a
sense more memorable than death itself. The atmosphere of
precautions and recriminations, and in the midst a human body
growing more vivid because it was in pain; the end of that body
in Hilton churchyard; the survival of something that suggested
hope, vivid in its turn against life's workaday
cheerfulness;--all these were lost to Helen, who only felt that a
pleasant lady could now be pleasant no longer. She returned to
Wickham Place full of her own affairs--she had had another
proposal--and Margaret, after a moment's hesitation, was content
that this should be so.<br/>
The proposal had not been a serious matter. It was the work
of Fräulein Mosebach, who had conceived the large and
patriotic notion of winning back her cousins to the Fatherland by
matrimony. England had played Paul Wilcox, and lost; Germany
played Herr Förstmeister someone--Helen could not remember
his name.<br/>
Herr Förstmeister lived in a wood, and standing on the
summit of the Oderberge, he had pointed out his house to Helen,
or rather, had pointed out the wedge of pines in which it lay.
She had exclaimed, "Oh, how lovely! That's the place for me!"
and in the evening Frieda appeared in her bedroom. "I have a
message, dear Helen," etc., and so she had, but had been very
nice when Helen laughed; quite understood--a forest too solitary
and damp--quite agreed, but Herr Förstmeister believed he
had assurance to the contrary. Germany had lost, but with
good-humour; holding the manhood of the world, she felt bound to
win. "And there will even be someone for Tibby," concluded
Helen. "There now, Tibby, think of that; Frieda is saving up a
little girl for you, in pig-tails and white worsted stockings,
but the feet of the stockings are pink, as if the little girl had
trodden in strawberries. I've talked too much. My head aches.
Now you talk."<br/>
Tibby consented to talk. He too was full of his own affairs,
for he had just been up to try for a scholarship at Oxford. The
men were down, and the candidates had been housed in various
colleges, and had dined in hall. Tibby was sensitive to beauty,
the experience was new, and he gave a description of his visit
that was almost glowing. The august and mellow University,
soaked with the richness of the western counties that it has
served for a thousand years, appealed at once to the boy's taste:
it was the kind of thing he could understand, and he understood
it all the better because it was empty. Oxford is--Oxford: not a
mere receptacle for youth, like Cambridge. Perhaps it wants its
inmates to love it rather than to love one another: such at all
events was to be its effect on Tibby. His sisters sent him there
that he might make friends, for they knew that his education had
been cranky, and had severed him from other boys and men. He
made no friends. His Oxford remained Oxford empty, and he took
into life with him, not the memory of a radiance, but the memory
of a colour scheme.<br/>
It pleased Margaret to hear her brother and sister talking.
They did not get on overwell as a rule. For a few moments she
listened to them, feeling elderly and benign. Then something
occurred to her, and she interrupted:<br/>
"Helen, I told you about poor Mrs. Wilcox; that sad
business?"<br/>
"Yes."<br/>
"I have had a correspondence with her son. He was winding up
the estate, and wrote to ask me whether his mother had wanted me
to have anything. I thought it good of him, considering I knew
her so little. I said that she had once spoken of giving me a
Christmas present, but we both forgot about it afterwards."<br/>
"I hope Charles took the hint."<br/>
"Yes--that is to say, her husband wrote later on, and thanked
me for being a little kind to her, and actually gave me her
silver vinaigrette. Don't you think that is extraordinarily
generous? It has made me like him very much. He hopes that this
will not be the end of our acquaintance, but that you and I will
go and stop with Evie some time in the future. I like Mr.
Wilcox. He is taking up his work--rubber--it is a big business.
I gather he is launching out rather. Charles is in it, too.
Charles is married--a pretty little creature, but she doesn't
seem wise. They took on the flat, but now they have gone off to
a house of their own."<br/>
Helen, after a decent pause, continued her account of
Stettin. How quickly a situation changes! In June she had been
in a crisis; even in November she could blush and be unnatural;
now it was January, and the whole affair lay forgotten. Looking
back on the past six months, Margaret realized the chaotic nature
of our daily life, and its difference from the orderly sequence
that has been fabricated by historians. Actual life is full of
false clues and sign-posts that lead nowhere. With infinite
effort we nerve ourselves for a crisis that never comes. The
most successful career must show a waste of strength that might
have removed mountains, and the most unsuccessful is not that of
the man who is taken unprepared, but of him who has prepared and
is never taken. On a tragedy of that kind our national morality
is duly silent. It assumes that preparation against danger is in
itself a good, and that men, like nations, are the better for
staggering through life fully armed. The tragedy of preparedness
has scarcely been handled, save by the Greeks. Life is indeed
dangerous, but not in the way morality would have us believe. It
is indeed unmanageable, but the essence of it is not a battle.
It is unmanageable because it is a romance, and its essence is
romantic beauty.<br/>
Margaret hoped that for the future she would be less
cautious, not more cautious, than she had been in the past.</p>
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