Manners for Men

<h2><SPAN name="IN_OR_ON_AN_OMNIBUS" id="IN_OR_ON_AN_OMNIBUS"></SPAN><i>IN OR ON AN OMNIBUS.</i></h2> <div class="sidenote">The humble omnibus.</div> <p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> humble omnibus may be thought by some readers too democratic a kind of conveyance to be considered in a book on Manners. Not at all! There are several reasons why it should have a place in such a volume.</p> <div class="sidenote">It is now used by all classes.</div> <p>The first is, that during the last ten years or so the omnibus has been largely used by women of the educated, cultured, and well-dressed classes. Another and stronger reason is that no considerations of the kind should affect a man’s manners. If he can behave like a gentleman in a carriage, he is almost certain to do so in an omnibus, and <i>vice versâ</i>. It is even more difficult in the humbler vehicle. In a carriage one is seldom crowded up to the degree that often occurs in the plebeian “<span class="lftspc">’</span>bus.” In fact, there are far more opportunities for the display of good manners in the latter than in the former. Many of them are of a negative character.</p> <div class="sidenote">A fine field for true courtesy.</div> <p>True courtesy, for instance, will prevent a man from infringing the rights of his neighbours on either side by occupying more than his<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page_037" id="page_037"></SPAN>{37}</span> own allotted space.</p> <div class="sidenote">The man who wants all the room.</div> <p>Very stout men are obliged to do so, but at least they need not spread out their knees in a way that is calculated to aggravate the evil. Nor need they arrange themselves in a comfortable oblique position, with the result of enhancing the inconvenience they must necessarily cause to those near them. Even a thin man can take up a quantity of room by thus disposing himself at an angle of forty-five with the other occupants of an omnibus.</p> <p>The morning paper may be converted into an offensive weapon in the hands of the rude and careless, who open it out to its fullest width, regardless of the comfort of those sitting next them.</p> <div class="sidenote">The “newspaper” offender.</div> <p>Newspapers are rather unwieldy things to turn and twist about in a limited space, but this very circumstance affords a man an opportunity of displaying his skill in manipulating the large, wide sheets, without dashing them in the face of his nearest neighbour, or knocking up against anybody in a series of awkward movements that a little care could easily convert into leisurely, graceful ones.</p> <div class="sidenote">The wet umbrella nuisance.</div> <p>There is another way in which men are apt to be careless, and that is in the disposal of a wet umbrella. Women are even more so, but these remarks are intended particularly for men, and beyond acknowledging that members<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page_038" id="page_038"></SPAN>{38}</span> of my own sex are equal sinners, I must leave them out of the question. When any one takes a dripping umbrella into an omnibus, he must charge himself with the task of seeing that it annoys no one but himself. If he can, at the same time, protect himself, well and good; but he must be altruistic in the matter and care for others first; the alternative being to prove himself lacking in one form of good manners. He must not even let his wet umbrella lean up against a vacant part of the cushioned seat, rendering it damp for the next comer.</p> <div class="sidenote">The rights of the absent.</div> <p>His social conscience cannot be up to its work if he permits himself to ignore the right of the absent to consideration, merely because they are absent.</p> <p>Allowing umbrellas and sticks to protrude so as to trip up unwary passengers is another thing to be avoided.</p> <div class="sidenote">Carrying umbrellas and sticks.</div> <p>Carrying a stick or umbrella under the arm with the ferule protruding at the back and threatening the eyes of those who walk behind, is always a reprehensible practice, and one that is fraught with danger, and it is perhaps more than ever dangerous when the proprietor is ascending or descending the steps of an omnibus. At such moments passengers are liable to sudden checks from various causes, and the resultant backward jerk can be quite annoying enough to those behind<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page_039" id="page_039"></SPAN>{39}</span> without the aggravation of a pointed stick assaulting them. I have seen a girl’s hat torn off her head in this way, its numerous securing pins making havoc in her coiffure and eliciting lively expressions of pain.</p> <div class="sidenote">Entering and leaving an omnibus.</div> <p>It might appear hardly necessary to advocate care in walking up past other passengers inside an omnibus, for fear of treading on their feet, and to recommend a word of apology in case of any such transgression. But there have been cases which point to the desirability of a word of advice on such points.</p> <div class="sidenote">Apology covers a multitude of social sins.</div> <p>The ready apology covers a multitude of social sins. From some men it comes with an expression of such earnest solicitude that, anxious to reassure them, one quite willingly makes light of the damage done.</p> <div class="sidenote">The lady first, entering and leaving.</div> <p>In escorting a lady a man hands her into the omnibus before entering it himself; and if she prefers the top, he lets her mount the staircase in front of him. There seems to be an idea in the lowly classes that it is correct to precede a lady in ascending steps or stairs. This is not in accordance with the practice of good society. If circumstances do not admit of the two walking abreast, then the lady goes first, both in ascending and descending any stairs.</p> <p>It is by no means necessary that any<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page_040" id="page_040"></SPAN>{40}</span> man should resign his seat in or on an omnibus simply because a woman wishes for it.</p> <div class="sidenote">On giving up one’s seat to a lady.</div> <p>The conductor has no right to ask “if any gentleman will go outside to oblige a lady”; and no gentlewoman would allow him to ask such a favour on her behalf. The inside passengers have selected inside seats, thereby testifying to their preference for them, and they should be allowed to retain them without interference.</p> <div class="sidenote">Women offenders.</div> <p>I have seen a delicate-looking boy, racked with a hacking cough, induced to ride outside on a cold and rainy night in order that a fat, rosy, healthy woman might have his inside seat. I felt all the more indignant on his behalf because the woman never even thanked him. It was no business of mine, but I was rejoiced to hear a man’s voice mutter in the darkness, “She looks better able to face it than that pale-faced lad.” But the woman wore a smug, well-pleased air, little knowing that her fellow-passengers were almost all regarding her with a feeling of dislike.</p> <div class="sidenote">No lady would request this favour.</div> <p>I repeat that no lady, in the highest sense of the term, would ever permit the conductor of an omnibus to ask such a favour for her. She would not ask it for herself; unlike a woman whom I saw, one day, mount on the step of an omnibus and inquire of the<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page_041" id="page_041"></SPAN>{41}</span> “insides,” “Won’t any genelman ride outside to oblige a lydy?” the “lydy” being herself.</p> <p>It can never be out of place for a man to give up his seat in favour of the old and infirm, or for a woman with a baby in her arms.</p> <div class="sidenote">Higher laws than etiquette.</div> <p>But such matters as these belong to a region of heart and mind beyond mere manners, and it is useless to suggest any line of action on such subjects. The impulse must come from within.</p> <div class="sidenote">Smoking on the top of an omnibus.</div> <p>There have been women so unreasonable as to complain of men smoking on the top of an omnibus. Could anything be more illogical? First, they invade the seats that have been claimed by man as his right (though perhaps unjustly) for many long years, and then they feel annoyed because he smokes in their presence. Or, to speak accurately, they are petulant because his tobacco is often rank, strong, and consequently evil-smelling.</p> <div class="sidenote">A man is justified in so doing.</div> <p>But no man need feel it necessary to put out his pipe or throw away his cigar in these circumstances. Should he find himself so placed that the wind blows his smoke in the face of a woman, he may propose to change seats with her, in order that she may be spared the inconvenience. But no woman could rationally expect him to do more.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page_042" id="page_042"></SPAN>{42}</span></p> <div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />