<h3>XXIV</h3><h3>HUMBUGS</h3>
<p>The new milking machine was all ready to use.</p>
<p>"Which one are you going to try it on first?" the hired man asked Farmer
Green.</p>
<p>"Let's hitch it to the little red cow," said Johnnie Green's father.</p>
<p>The little red cow gave the Muley Cow a sly nudge. "Did you hear that?"
she asked. "Farmer Green knows who's fashionable. He chooses me to be
first! And it's a great honor."</p>
<p>"Nonsense!" said the Muley Cow. "He picked you because you're the
smallest<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</SPAN></span> cow on the farm. He thinks you wouldn't dare object to the
milking machine.... Just you wait till they try it on me! I'll kick!
I'll bellow! I'll switch my tail at them!"</p>
<p>The little red cow made no reply. Already Farmer Green and the hired man
had stepped up beside her. And they were just about to fasten the
milking machine to her when the big white cow let out a frightened bawl.</p>
<p>"What's the matter?" the little red cow asked her.</p>
<p>"I was just thinking," she stammered, "what a terrible thing it would be
if they couldn't stop the machine!"</p>
<p>That was an awful thought. Such an idea had never entered the red cow's
head. And the moment she heard it she no longer wanted to be
fashionable. She was so alarmed that she lashed out with both hind<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</SPAN></span> feet
in a most unladylike manner. And she plunged and roared and made such a
fuss that Farmer Green and the hired man left her in disgust.</p>
<p>"She hasn't the brains of a hen," Farmer Green declared.</p>
<p>"Shall we try the big white cow?" the hired man asked him.</p>
<p>"No! She's a numskull too," said Farmer Green. He was feeling somewhat
cross, for the little red cow had given him a smart kick. "Let's take
the old Muley. She knows something, even if she is a jumper."</p>
<p>Well, what could the Muley Cow do? She had declared to all her friends
that she would <i>not</i> be milked by any new-fangled milking machine. But
when Farmer Green spoke so pleasantly about her she hadn't the heart to
disappoint him. So she stood quite still for a few minutes.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</SPAN></span> And soon
she had the honor of being the first cow in the herd to be milked the
fashionable new way.</p>
<p>The little red cow was frightfully jealous of her. And she called the
Muley Cow "an old humbug."</p>
<p>"You said you wouldn't let them do it," the little red cow spluttered.
"And here you are, with the honor of being first!"</p>
<p>"And you—" the Muley Cow retorted—"you said you were glad the milking
machine had come. But you certainly didn't act pleased when they offered
to use it on you.... Speaking of humbugs, I should say you were one
yourself."</p>
<p>For once the little red cow had nothing to say. The herd agreed that it
was the <i>first</i> dispute in which she hadn't had the final word. And to
their surprise, ever afterward the little red cow was meek and mild. She
even let Farmer Green milk<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</SPAN></span> her with the milking machine. And there was
only one thing that ever vexed her. She never could bear to hear the
word <i>humbug</i>.</p>
<p>Somehow the whole herd became gentler. At last Farmer Green announced
proudly, right in their hearing, that they were giving more milk.</p>
<p>"It's the milking machine," he told the hired man. "The cows like it."</p>
<p>But the Muley Cow knew better than that. She was too polite to say as
much to Farmer Green. She wouldn't dream of disputing what he said,
though she knew well enough that he had not guessed the secret. Being
only a man, he had not noticed how fashionable the cows had become. And
since no cow can be a fine, fashionable dame if she is rude, noisy and
quarrelsome, they simply had to be on their best behavior all the time.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>And they were especially particular about two matters. They
ate—neatly—every bit of fodder that was set before them, and gave all
the milk they could in return for it.</p>
<p class="center"><br/><br/>THE END<br/><br/></p>
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