<div><span class='pageno' title='22' id='Page_22'></span><h1>CHAPTER II</h1></div>
<p class='noindent'><span class='dropcap'>A</span><span class='sc'>T</span> this unexpected announcement Martin exchanged
a swift glance with Corinna. She
smiled, drew a five franc piece from her purse
and laid it on the table. Martin, wondering, did the
same. The Marchand de Bonheur unbuttoned his
frock coat and slipped the coins, with a professional
air, into his waistcoat pocket.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Mr. Overshaw,” said he, “you must understand,
as our charming friend Corinna Hastings and indeed
half the Quartier Latin understand, that for such
happiness as it may be my good fortune to provide
I do not charge one penny. But having to eke out a
precarious livelihood, I make a fixed charge of five
francs for every consultation, no matter whether it be
for ten minutes or ten hours. And for the matter
of that, ten hours is not my limit. I am at your
service for an indefinite period of time, provided it
be continuous.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“That’s very good, indeed, of you,” said Martin.
“I hope you’ll join us,” he added, as the waiter approached
with three coffee cups.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“No, I thank you. I have already had my after
dinner coffee. But if I might take the liberty of
ordering something else——?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“By all means,” said Martin hospitably. “What
will you have? Cognac? Liqueur? Whisky and
soda?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>Fortinbras held up his hand—it was the hand of
a comfortable, drowsy prelate—and smiled. “I have
not touched alcohol for many years. I find it blunts
the delicacy of perception which is essential to a
Marchand de Bonheur in the exercise of his calling.
Auguste will give me a <span class='it'>syrop de framboises à l’eau</span>.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“<span class='it'>Bien, m’sieu</span>,” said Auguste.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“On the other hand, I shall smoke with pleasure
one of your excellent English cigarettes. Thanks.
Allow me.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>With something of the grand manner he held a
lighted match to Corinna’s cigarette and to Martin’s.
Then he blew it out and lit another for his own.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“A superstition,” said he, by way of apology. “It
arises out of the Russian funeral ritual in which the
three altar candles are lit by the same taper. To apply
the same method of illumination to three worldly
things like cigars or cigarettes is regarded as an act
of impiety and hence as unlucky. For two people to
dip their hands together in the same basin, without
making the sign of the cross in the water, is unlucky
on account of the central incident of the Last Supper,
and to spill the salt as you are absent-mindedly doing,
Corinna, is a violation of the sacred symbol of
sworn friendship.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“That’s all very interesting,” said Corinna calmly.
“But what are Martin Overshaw and I to do to be
happy?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>Fortinbras looked from one to the other with benevolent
shrewdness and inhaled a long puff of smoke.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“What about our young medical student friend,
Camille Fargot?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>Corinna flushed red—as only pale blondes can
flush. “What do you know about Camille?” she demanded.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Everything—and nothing. Come, come. It’s my
business to keep a paternal eye on you children.
Where is he?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Who the deuce is Camille?” thought Martin.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“He’s at Bordeaux, safe in the arms of his ridiculous
mother,” replied Corinna tartly.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Good, good,” said Fortinbras. “And you, Mr.
Overshaw, where is the lady on whom you have set
your affections?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>Martin laughed frankly. “Heaven knows. There
isn’t one. The <span class='it'>Princesse lointaine</span>, perhaps, whom I’ve
never seen.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>Fortinbras again looked from one to the other.
“This complicates matters,” said he. “On the other
hand, perhaps, it simplifies them. There being nothing
common, however, to your respective roads to
happiness, each case must be dealt with separately.
<span class='it'>Place aux dames</span>—Corinna will first expose to me the
sources of her divine discontent. Proceed, Corinna.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>She drummed with her fingers on the table, and
little wrinkles lined her young forehead. Martin
pushed back his chair.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Hadn’t I better go for a walk until it is my turn
to be interviewed?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>Corinna bade him not be silly. Whatever she had
to say he was welcome to hear. It would be better
if he did hear it; then he might appreciate the lesser
misery of his own plight.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“I’m an utter, hopeless failure,” she cried with an
air of defiance.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Good,” said Fortinbras.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“I can’t paint worth a cent.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Good,” said Fortinbras.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“That old beast Delafosse says I’ll never learn to
draw and I’m colour blind. That’s a brutal way of
putting it; but it’s more or less true. Consequently
I can’t earn my living by painting pictures. No one
would buy them.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Then they must be very bad indeed,” murmured
Fortinbras.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Well, that’s it,” said Corinna. “I’m done for. An
old aunt died and left me a legacy of four hundred
pounds. I thought I could best use it by coming to
Paris to study art. I’ve been at it three years, and
I’m as clever as when I began. I have about twenty
pounds left. When it’s gone I shall have to go home
to my smug and chuckling family. There are ten of
us. I’m the eldest and the youngest is three months
old. Pretty fit I should be after three years of Paris
to go back. When I was at home last, if ever I referred
to an essential fact of physiological or social
existence, my good mother called me immodest and
my sisters goggle-eyed and breathless besought me in
corners to tell them all about it. When I tell them
I know people who haven’t gone through the ceremony
of marriage they think I’m giving them a peep
into some awful hell of iniquity. It’s a fearful joy
to them. Then mother says I’m corrupting their
young and innocent minds and father mentions me
at Family prayers. And the way they run after any
young man that happens along is sickening. I’m
a prudish old maid compared with them. Have you
ever seen me running after men?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“You are a modern Penthesilea,” said Fortinbras.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Anyway, Wendlebury—that’s my home—would
drive me mad. I’ll have to go away and fend for
myself. Father can’t give me an allowance. It’s
as much as he can do to pay his butcher’s bills. Besides,
I’m not that sort. What I do, I must do on
my own. But I can’t do anything to get a living. I
can’t typewrite, I don’t know shorthand. I can
scarcely sew a button on a camisole, I’m not quite
sure of my multiplication table, I couldn’t add up a
column of pounds, shillings and pence correctly to
save my life, I play the devil with an egg if I put it
into a saucepan and if I attempted to bath a baby
I should drown it. I’m twenty-four years of age and
a helpless, useless failure.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>Fortinbras drank some of his raspberry syrup and
water and lit another cigarette.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“And you have still twenty pounds in your pocket?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Yes,” said Corinna, “and I shan’t go home until
I’ve spent the last penny. That’s why I’m in Paris,
drinking its August dregs. I’ve already bought a
third class ticket to London—available for six months—so
I can get back any time without coming down
on my people.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“That act of pusillanimous prudence,” remarked
Fortinbras, “seems to me to be a flaw in an otherwise
admirable scheme of immediate existence. If
the ravens fed an impossibly unhumorous, and probably
unprepossessing, disagreeable person like Elijah,
surely there are doves who will minister to the sustenance
of an attractive and keen-witted young woman
like yourself. But that is a mere generalisation. I
only wish you,” said he, bending forward and paternally
and delicately touching her hand, “I only
wish you to take heart of grace and not strangle yourself
in your exhaustively drawn up category of incompetence.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>The man’s manner was so sympathetic, his deep
voice so persuasive, the smile in his eyes so understanding,
the massive, lined face so illuminated by
wise tenderness that his words fell like balm on her
rebellious spirit before their significance, or want of
significance, could be analysed by her intellect. The
intensity of attitude and feature with which her
confession had been attended relaxed into girlish
ease.</p>
<p class='pindent'>She laughed somewhat self-consciously and took
a cigarette from the packet offered her by a silent and
wondering Martin. She perked up her shapely head
and once more the cock-pheasant’s plume on her cheap
straw hat gave her a pleasant air of braggadocio.
Martin noticed for the first time that she had a little
mutinous nose and a defiant lift of the chin above
a broad white throat. He found it difficult to harmonise
her appearance of confident efficiency with her
lamentable avowal of failure. Those blue eyes somewhat
hard beneath the square brow ought to have
commanded success. Those strong nervous hands
were of just the kind to choke the great things out
of life. He could not suddenly divest himself of
preconceived ideas. To the dull, unaspiring drudge,
Corinna Hastings leading the fabulous existence of
the Paris studios had been invested with such mystery
as surrounded the goddesses of the Gaiety Theatre
and the Headmaster of Eton. . . .</p>
<p class='pindent'>Martin also reflected that in her litany of woe she
had omitted all reference to the medical student now
in the arms of his ridiculous mother. He began to
feel mildly jealous of this Camille Fargot, who assumed
the shadow shape of a malignant influence.
Yet she did not appear to be the young woman to
tolerate aggressive folly on the part of a commonplace
young man. Fortinbras himself had called her
Penthesilea, Queen of the Amazons. He was puzzled.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“What you say is very comforting and exhilarating,
Fortinbras,” remarked Corinna, “but can’t you let
me have something practical?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“All in good time, my dear,” replied Fortinbras
serenely. “I have no quack nostrums to hand over at
a minute’s notice. Auguste——” he summoned the
waiter and addressed him in fluent French, marred
by a Britannic accent: “Give me another glass of
this obscene though harmless beverage and satisfy
the needs of Monsieur and Mademoiselle, and after
that leave us in peace, and if any one seeks to penetrate
into this <span class='it'>salle à manger</span>, say that it is engaged
by a Lodge of Freemasons. Here is remuneration
for your prospective zeal.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>With impressive flourish he deposited fifteen centimes
in the palm of Auguste, who bowed politely.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“<span class='it'>Merci, m’sieu</span>,” said he. “<span class='it'>Et monsieur</span>,
dame——?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>He looked enquiringly at Martin and Martin looked
enquiringly at Corinna.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“I’m going to blow twenty pounds,” she replied.
“I’ll have a <span class='it'>kummel glacé</span>.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“And I’ll have the same,” said Martin, “though I
don’t in the least know what it is.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>The waiter retired. Corinna leaned across the
table.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“You’re thirty years of age and you’ve lived ten
years in London and have never seen kummel served
with crushed ice and straws?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“No,” replied Martin simply. “What is kummel?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>She regarded him in wonderment. “Have you ever
heard of champagne?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“More often than I’ve tasted it,” said Martin.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“This young man,” remarked Corinna, “has seen
as much of life as a squirrel in a cage. That may
not be very polite, Martin—but you know it’s true.
Can you dance?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“No,” said Martin.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Have you ever fired off a gun?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“I was once in the Cambridge University Rifle
Corps,” said Martin.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“You used a rifle, not a gun,” cried Corinna. “Have
you ever shot a bird?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“No,” said Martin.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Or caught a fish?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“No,” said Martin.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Can you play cricket, golf, ride——?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“A bicycle,” said Martin.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“That’s something, anyhow. What do you use it
for?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“To go backwards and forwards to my work,” said
Martin.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“What do you do in the way of amusement?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Nothing,” said Martin, with a sigh.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“My good Fortinbras,” said Corinna, “you have
your work cut out for you.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>The waiter brought the drinks, and after enquiring
whether they needed all the electricity, turned out
most of the lights.</p>
<p class='pindent'>Martin always remembered the scene: the little low-ceilinged
room with its grotesque decorations looming
fantastic through the semi-darkness; the noises and
warm smells rising from the narrow street; the eyes
of the girl opposite raised somewhat mockingly to
his, as straw in mouth she bent her head over the
iced kummel; the burly figure and benevolent face of
their queer companion who for five francs had offered
to be the arbiter of his destiny, and leaned forward,
elbow on table and chin in hand, serenely expectant
to hear the inmost secrets of his life.</p>
<p class='pindent'>He felt tongue-tied and shy and sucking too nervously
at his straw choked himself with the strong
liqueur. It was one thing to unburden himself to
Corinna, another to make coherent statement of his
grievance to a stranger.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“I am at your disposal, my dear Overshaw,” said
the latter, kindly. “From personal observation and
from your answers to Corinna’s enfilade of questions,
I gather that you are not overwhelmed by any cataclysm
of disaster, but rather that yours is the more
negative tragedy of a starved soul—a poor, starved
soul hungering for love and joy and the fruitfulness
of the earth and the bounty of spiritual things. Your
difficulty now is: How to say to this man, ‘Give me
bread for my soul.’ Am I not right?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>A glimmer of irony in his smiling grey eyes or
an inflection of it in his persuasive voice would have
destroyed the flattering effect of the little speech.
Martin had never taken his soul into account. The
diagnosis shed a new light on his state of being. The
starvation of his soul was certainly the root of the
trouble; an infinitely more dignified matter than mere
discontent with one’s environment.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Yes,” said he. “You’re right. I’ve had no chance
of development. My own fault perhaps. I’ve not
been strong enough to battle against circumstances.
Circumstances have imprisoned me, as Corinna says,
like a squirrel in a cage, and I’ve spent my time in
going round and round in the profitless wheel.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“And the nature of the wheel?” asked Fortinbras.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Have you ever heard of Margett’s Universal College?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“I have,” said Fortinbras. “It is one of the many
mind-wrecking institutions of which our beloved country
is so proud.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“I’m glad to hear you say that,” cried Martin. “I’ve
been helping to wreck minds there for the last ten
years. I’ve taught French. Not the French language;
but examination French. When the son of
a greengrocer wants to get a boy-clerkship in the
Civil Service, it’s essential that he should know that
<span class='it'>bal</span>, <span class='it'>cal</span>, <span class='it'>carnaval</span>, <span class='it'>pal</span>, <span class='it'>regal</span>, <span class='it'>chacal</span> take an ‘s’ in the
plural, in spite of the fact that millions of Frenchmen
go through their lives without once uttering the
plural words.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“How came you to teach French?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“My mother tongue—my mother was a Swiss.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“And your father?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“An English chaplain in Switzerland. You see it
was like this——”</p>
<p class='pindent'>And so, started on his course, and helped here
and there by a shrewd and sympathetic question, Martin,
the ingenuous, told his story, while Corinna,
slightly bored, having heard most of it already, occupied
herself by drawing a villainous portrait of
him on the tablecloth. When he mentioned details
unknown to her she paused in her task and raised
her eyes. Like her own, his autobiography was a
catalogue of incompetence, but it held no record of
frustrated ambitions—no record of any ambitious desire
whatever. It shewed the tame ass’s unreflecting
acquiescence in its lot of drudgery. There had been
no passionate craving for things of delight. Why
cry for the moon? With a salary of a hundred and
thirty-five pounds a year out of which he must contribute
to the support of his widowed mother, a man
can purchase for himself but little splendour of existence,
and Martin was not one of those to whom
splendour comes unbought. He had lived, semi-content,
in a fog splendour-obscuring, for the last ten
years. But this evening the fog had lifted. The
glamour of Paris, even the Pantheon and the Eiffel
Tower sarcastically mentioned by Corinna, had helped
to dispel it. So had Corinna’s sisterly interest in his
dull affairs. And so, more than all, had helped the
self-analysis formulated under the compelling power
of the philanthropist with shiny coat-sleeves and
frayed linen, at once priest, lawyer and physician who
had pocketed his five francs fee.</p>
<p class='pindent'>He talked long and earnestly; and the more he
talked and the more minutely he revealed the aridity
of his young life, the stronger grew within him a hitherto
unknown spirit of revolt.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“That’s all,” he said at last, wiping a streaming
brow.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“And very interesting indeed,” said Fortinbras.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Isn’t it?” said Corinna. “And he never even
kissed”—so complete had been Martin’s apologia—“the
landlady’s daughter who married the plumber.”
She challenged him with a glance. “I swear you
didn’t.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>With a shy twist of his lips Martin confessed:</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Well—I did once.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Why not twice?” asked Corinna.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Yes, why not?” asked Fortinbras, seeing Martin
hesitate, and his smile was archiepiscopal indulgence.
“Why but one taste of ambrosial lips?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>Martin reddened beneath his olive skin. “I hardly
like to say—it seems so indelicate——”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“<span class='it'>Allons donc</span>” cried Corinna. “We’re in Paris,
not Wendlebury.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“We must get to the bottom of this, my dear Martin—it’s
a privilege I demand from my clients to address
them by their Christian names—otherwise how
can I establish the necessary intimate <span class='it'>rapport</span> between
them and myself? So I repeat, my dear Martin,
we must have the reason for the rupture or the
dissolution or the termination of what seems to be
the only romantic episode in your career. I’m not
joking,” Fortinbras added gravely, after a pause.
“From the psychological point of view, it is important
that I should know.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>Martin looked appealingly from one to the other—from
Fortinbras massively serious to Corinna serenely
mocking.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“A weeny unencouraged plumber?” she suggested.</p>
<p class='pindent'>He sat bolt upright and gasped. “Good God, no!”
He flushed indignant. “She was a most highly respectable
girl. Nothing of that sort. I wish I hadn’t
mentioned the matter. It’s entirely unimportant.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“If that is so,” said Corinna, “why didn’t you kiss
the girl again?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Well, if you want to know,” replied Martin desperately,
“I have a constitutional horror of the smell
of onions,” and mechanically he sucked through his
straw the tepid residue of melted ice in his glass.</p>
<p class='pindent'>Corinna threw herself back in her chair and
laughed uncontrollably. It was just the lunatic sort
of thing that would happen to poor old Martin. She
knew her sex. Instantaneously she pictured in her
mind the fluffy, lower middle-class young person who
set her cap at the gentleman with the long Grecian
nose, and she entered into her devastated frame of mind
when he wriggled awkwardly out of further osculatory
invitations. And the good, solid plumber, onion-loving
soul, had carried her off, not figuratively but
literally under the nose of Martin.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Oh, Martin, you’re too funny for words!” she
cried.</p>
<p class='pindent'>Fortinbras smiled always benevolently. “If Cleopatra’s
nose had been a centimetre longer—I forget
the exact classical epigram—the history of the world
would have been changed. In a minor degree—for
the destiny of an individual must, of course, be of
less importance than the destiny of mankind—had
it not been for one spring onion, unconsidered fellow
of the robin and the burnished dove and the wanton
lapwing, this young man’s fancy would have been fettered
in the thoughts of love. One spring onion—and
human destinies are juggled. Martin is still a soul-starved
bachelor, and—and—her name?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Gwendoline?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“And Gwendoline is the buxom mother of five.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Six,” said Martin. “I can’t help knowing,” he
explained, “since I still lodge with her mother.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>Corinna turned her head sideways to scrutinise the
drawing on the tablecloth, and still scrutinising it,
asked:</p>
<p class='pindent'>“And that is your one and only <span class='it'>affaire du cœur</span>?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“I’m afraid the only one,” replied Martin shamefacedly.
Even so mild a man as he felt the disadvantage
of not being able to hint to a woman that
he could talk, and he would, of chimes heard at midnight
and of broken hearts and other circumstances
hedging round a devil of a fellow. His one kiss
seemed a very bread-and-buttery affair—to say nothing
of the mirth-provoking onion. And the emotion
attending the approach to it had been of a nature
so tepid that disillusion caused scarcely a pang. It
had been better to pose as an out-and-out Sir Galahad,
a type comprehensible to women. As the hero of one
invertebrate embrace he cut a sorry figure.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“You are still young. The years and the women’s
lips before you are many,” said Fortinbras, laying a
comforting touch on Martin’s shoulder. “Opportunity
makes the lover as it does the thief. And in the
bed-sitting-room in Hickney Heath where you have
spent your young life where has been the opportunity?
It pleases our Paris-hardened young friend to mock;
but I see in you the making of a great lover, a Bertrand
d’Allamanon, a Chastelard, one who will count the
world well lost for a princess’s smile——”</p>
<p class='pindent'>Corinna interrupted. “What pernicious nonsense
are you talking, Fortinbras? You’ve got love on the
brain to-night. Neither Martin nor I are worrying
our heads about it. Love be hanged! We’re each of
us worried to death over the problem of how to keep
body and soul together without going back to prison
and you talk all this drivel about love—at least not
to me, but to Martin.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“That qualification, my dear Corinna, upsets the
logic of your admirable tirade,” Fortinbras replied
calmly, after drinking the remainder of his syrup
and soda water. “I speak of love to Martin because
his soul is starved, as I’ve already declared. I don’t
speak of it to you, because your soul is suffering from
indigestion.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“I’ll have another <span class='it'>kummel glacé</span>,” said Corinna.
“It’s a stomachic.” She reached for the bell-pull behind
her chair—she had the corner seat. Auguste
appeared. Orders were repeated. “How you can
drink all that syrup without being sick I can’t understand,”
she remarked.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Omnicomprehension is not vouchsafed even to the
very young and innocent, my dear,” said Fortinbras.</p>
<p class='pindent'>Martin glanced across the table apprehensively. If
ever young woman had been set down that young
woman was Corinna Hastings. He feared explosion,
annihilation of the down-setter. Nothing of the sort
happened. Corinna accepted the rebuff with the meekness
of a school-girl and sniffed when Fortinbras was
not looking. Again Martin was puzzled, unable to
divest himself of his old conception of Corinna. She
was Corinna, chartered libertine of the land of Rodolfe,
Marcel, Schaunard—he had few impressions
of the <span class='it'>Quartier Latin</span> later than Henri Murger—and
her utterances no matter how illogical were derived
from godlike inspiration. He hung on her lips for
some inspired and vehement rejoinder to the rebuke
of Fortinbras. When none came he realised that in
the seedily dressed and now profusely perspiring
<span class='it'>Marchand de Bonheur</span> she had met an acknowledged
master. Who Fortinbras was, whence his origin,
what his character and social status, how, save by the
precarious methods to which he had alluded, he earned
his livelihood, Martin had no idea; but he suddenly
conceived an immense respect for Fortinbras. The
man hovered over both of them on a higher plane of
wisdom. From his kind eyes (to Martin’s simple
fancy) beamed uncanny power. He assumed the semblance
of an odd sort of god indigenous to this Paris
wonderworld.</p>
<p class='pindent'>Fortinbras lit another of Martin’s Virginian cigarettes—the
little tin box lay open on the table—and
leaned back in his chair.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“My young friends,” said he, “you have each put
before me the circumstances which have made you
respectively despair of finding happiness both in the
immediate and the distant future. Now as Montaigne
says—an author whom I would recommend to you
for the edification of your happily remote middle-age,
having myself found infinite consolation in his sagacity—as
Montaigne says: ‘Men are tormented by
the ideas they have concerning things, and not by the
things themselves.’ The wise man therefore—the
general term, my dear Corinna, includes women—is he
who has learned to face things themselves after having
dispelled the bogies of his ideas concerning them.
It is on this basis that I am about to deliver the judgment
for which I have duly received my fee of ten
francs.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>He moistened his lips with the pink syrup. For
the picture you can imagine a grey old lion eating ice-cream.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“You, Corinna,” he continued, “belong to the new
race of women whose claims on life far exceed their
justification. You have as assets youth, a modicum
of beauty, a bright intelligence and a stiff little character.
But, as you rightly say, you are capable of
nothing in the steep range of human effort from painting
a picture to washing a baby. Were you not temperamentally
puritanical and intellectually obsessed
by the modern notion of woman’s right to an independent
existence, you would find a means of realising
the above-mentioned assets, as your sex has done
through the centuries. But in spite of amazonian
trifling with romantic-visaged and granite-headed
medical students, you cling to the irresponsibilities of
a celibate career.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“If he asked me, I’d marry a Turk to-morrow,”
said Corinna.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Don’t interrupt,” said Fortinbras. “You disturb
the flow of my ideas. I have no doubt that, in your
desperate situation, you would promise to marry a
Turk; but your essential pusillanimity would make you
wriggle out of it at the last moment. You’re like
‘the poor cat in the adage.’ ”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“What cat?” asked Corinna.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“The one in Macbeth, Act i, Scene 3, a play by
Shakespeare. ‘Letting “I dare not” wait upon “I
would,” like the poor cat i’ the adage.’ You require
development, my dear Corinna, out of the cat stage.
You have had your head choked with ideas about
things in this soul-suffocating Paris, and the ideas
are tormenting you; but you’ve never been at grips
with things themselves. As for our excellent Martin,
he has not even arrived at the stage of the desirous
cat.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>The smile that lit up his coarse, lined features, and
the musical suavity of his voice divested the words
of offence. Martin, with a laugh, assented to the
proposition.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“He, too, needs development,” Fortinbras went on.
“Or rather, not so much development as a collection
of soul-material from which development may proceed.
Your one accomplishment, I understand, is
riding a bicycle. Let us take that as the germ from
which the tree of happiness may spring. Do you
bicycle, Corinna?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“I can, of course. But I hate it.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“You don’t,” replied Fortinbras quickly. “You
hate your own idea of it. You’ll begin your course
of happiness by sweeping away all your ideas concerning
bicycling and coming to bicycling itself.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“I never heard anything so idiotic,” declared Corinna.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Doubtless,” smiled Fortinbras. “You haven’t
heard everything. Go on your knees and thank God
for it. I repeat—or amplify my prescription. Go
forth both of you on bicycles into the wide world.
They will not be Wheels of Chance, but Wheels of
Destiny. Go through the broad land of France filling
your souls with sunshine and freedom and your
throats with salutary and thirst-provoking dust. Have
no care for the morrow and look at the future through
the golden haze of eventide.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“There’s nothing I should like better,” said Martin,
with a glance at Corinna, “but I can’t afford it. I
must get back to London to look out for an engagement.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>Fortinbras mopped his brow with an over-fatigued
pocket-handkerchief.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“What did you pay me five francs for? For the
pleasure of hearing me talk, or for the value of my
counsel?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“I must look at things practically,” said Martin.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“But, good God!” cried Fortinbras, with soft uplifted
hands, “what is there more practical, more commonplace,
less romantic in the world than riding a
bicycle? You want to emerge from your Slough of
Despond, don’t you?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Of course,” said Martin.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Then I say—get on a bicycle and ride out of it.
Practical to the point of pathos.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>Martin objected: “No one will pay me for careering
through France on a bicycle. I’ve got to live, and
for the matter of fact, so has Corinna.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“But, my dear young friend, she has twenty
pounds. You, on your own showing have forty.
Sixty pounds between you. A fortune! You both
are tormented by the idea of what will happen when
the Pactolus runs dry. Banish that pestilential miasma
from your minds. Go on the adventure.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>In poetic terms he set forth the delights of that
admirable vagabondage. His eloquence sent a thrill
through Martin’s veins, causing his blood to tingle.
Before him new horizons broadened. He felt the
necessity of the immediate securing of an engagement
grow less insistent. If he got home with twenty
pounds in his pocket, even fifteen, at a pinch ten, he
could manage to subsist until he found work. And
perhaps this blandly authoritative, though seedy angel
really saw into the future. The temptation fascinated
him. He glanced again at Corinna, who sat demure
and silent, her chin propped on her fists, and his heart
sank. The proposition was absurd. How could he
ride abroad, for an indefinite number of days and
nights with a young unmarried woman? Of himself
he had no fear. Undesirous cat though he was, sent
forth on the journey into the world to learn desire,
he could not but remain a gentleman. In his charge
she would enjoy a sister’s sanctity. But she would
never consent. She could not. No matter how profound
her belief in his chivalry, her maiden modesty
would revolt. Her reputation would be gone. One
whisper in Wendlebury of such gipsying and scandal
with bared scissor-points would arrest her on the station
platform. And while these thoughts agitated his
mind, and Corinna kept her eyes always demure and
somewhat ironical on Fortinbras, the latter continued
to talk.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“I’m not advising you,” said he, “to pedal away like
little Pilgrims into the Unknown. I propose for you
an objective. In the little town of Brantôme in the
Dordogne, made illustrious by one of the quaintest
of French writers——”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“The Abbé Brantôme of ‘<span class='it'>La Vie des Dames Galantes</span>’?”
asked Corinna.</p>
<p class='pindent'>Martin gasped. “You don’t know that book?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“By heart,” she replied mischievously, in order to
shock Martin. As a matter of fact she had but
turned over the pages of the immortal work and laid
it down, disconcerted both by the archaic French and
the full flavour of such an anecdote or two as she
could understand.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“In the little town of Brantôme,” Fortinbras continued
after a pause, “you will find an hotel called
the Hôtel des Grottes, kept by an excellent and massive
man by the name of Bigourdin, a poet and a
philosopher and a mighty maker of <span class='it'>pâté de foie gras</span>.
A line from me would put you on his lowest tariff,
for he has a descending scale of charges, one for
motorists, another for commercial travellers and a
third for human beings.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“It would be utterly delightful,” Martin interrupted,
“if it were possible.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Why shouldn’t it be possible?” asked Corinna
with a calm glance.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“You and I—alone—the proprieties——” he stammered.</p>
<p class='pindent'>Again Corinna burst out laughing. “Is that what’s
worrying you? My poor Martin, you’re too comic.
What are you afraid of? I promise you I’ll respect
maiden modesty. My word of honour.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“It is entirely on your account. But if you don’t
mind—” said Martin politely.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“I assure you I don’t mind in the least,” replied
Corinna with equal politeness. “But supposing,” she
turned to Fortinbras, “we do go on this journey, what
should we do when we got to the great Monsieur
Bigourdin?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“You would sun yourselves in his wisdom,” replied
Fortinbras, “and convey my love to my little daughter
Félise.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>If Fortinbras had alluded to his possession of a
steam-yacht Corinna could not have been more astonished.
To her he was merely the Marchand de
Bonheur, eccentric Bohemian, half charlatan, half
good-fellow, without private life or kindred. She
sat bolt upright.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“You have a daughter?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Why not? Am I not a man? Haven’t I lived my
life? Haven’t I had my share of its joys and sorrows?
Why should it surprise you that I have a
daughter?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>Corinna reddened. “You haven’t told me about her
before.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“When do I have the occasion, in this world of
students, to speak of things precious to me? I tell
you now. I am sending you to her—she is twenty—and
to my excellent brother-in-law Bigourdin,
because I think you are good children, and I
should like to give you a bit of my heart for my ten
francs.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Fortinbras,” said Corinna, with a quick outstretch
of her arm, “I’m a beast. Tell me, what is she
like?”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“To me,” smiled Fortinbras, “she is like one of the
wild flowers from which Alpine honey is made. To
other people she is doubtless a well-mannered commonplace
young person. You will see her and judge
for yourselves.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“How far is it from Paris to Brantôme?” asked
Martin.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Roughly about five hundred kilometres—under
three hundred miles. Take your time. You have
sixty pounds’ worth of sunny hours before you—and
there is much to be learned in three hundred miles
of France. In a few weeks’ time I will join you at
Brantôme—journeying by train as befits my soberer
age—I go there a certain number of times a year to
see Félise. Then, if you will continue to favour me
with your patronage, we shall have another consultation.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>There was a brief silence. Fortinbras looked from
one young face to the other. Then he brought his
hands down with a soft thump on the table.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“You hesitate?” he cried indignantly. “You’re
afraid to take your poor, little lives in your hands
even for a few weeks?” He pushed back his chair
and rose and swept a banning gesture, “I have nothing
more to do with you. For profitless advice my
conscience allows me to charge nothing.” He tore
open his frock coat and his fingers diving into his
waistcoat pocket brought forth and threw down the
two five-franc pieces. “Go your ways,” said he.</p>
<p class='pindent'>At this dramatic moment both the young people
sprang protesting to their feet.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“What are you talking about? We’re going to
Brantôme,” cried Corinna, gripping the lapels of his
coat.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Of course we are,” exclaimed Martin, scared at the
prospect of losing the inspired counsellor.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“Then why aren’t you more enthusiastic?” asked
Fortinbras.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“But we are enthusiastic,” Corinna declared.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“We’ll start to-morrow,” said Martin.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“At six o’clock in the morning,” said Corinna.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“At five, if you like,” said Martin.</p>
<p class='pindent'>Fortinbras embraced them both in a capacious smile,
as he deliberately repocketed the coins.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“That is well, my children. But don’t do too many
unaccustomed things at once. In the Dordogne you
can rise at five—with enjoyment and impunity. In
Paris, your meeting at that hour would be fraught
with mutual antipathy, and you would not find a
shop open where you could hire or buy your bicycles.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>“I’ve got one,” said Corinna.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“So have I,” said Martin; “but it’s in London.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>Fortinbras extracted from his person a dim, chainless
watch.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“It is now a quarter past one. Time for honest
folk to be abed. Meet me here at eleven o’clock to-morrow,
booted and spurred, with but a scrip at the
back of your bicycles, and I will hand you letters to
Félise and the poetic and philosophic Bigourdin, and
now,” said he, “with your permission, I will ring
for Auguste.”</p>
<p class='pindent'>Auguste appeared and Martin, waving aside the
protests of Corinna, paid the modest bill. In the airless
street Fortinbras bade them an impressive good
night and disappeared in the byways of the sultry
city. Martin accompanied Corinna to the gaunt
neighbouring building wherein her eyrie was situate.
Both were tongue-tied, shy, embarrassed by the prospect
of the intimate adventure to which they had
pledged themselves. When the great door, swung
open by the hidden concierge, at Corinna’s ring, invited
her entrance, they shook hands perfunctorily.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“At a quarter to eleven,” said Martin.</p>
<p class='pindent'>“I shall be ready,” said Corinna.</p>
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