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<h2 id="id01730" style="margin-top: 4em">CHAPTER XXI.</h2> <h5 id="id01731"> THE COLONEL'S TOAST.</h5> It is just possible that the foregoing experiences did not tend to increase Esther's popularity among her companions. She got forthwith the name of favourite, the giving of which title is the consolatory excuse to themselves of those who have done nothing to deserve favour. However, whether she were popular or not was a matter that did not concern Esther. She was full of the delight of learning, and bent upon making the utmost of her new advantages. Study swallowed her up, so to speak; at least, swallowed up all lesser considerations and attendant circumstances. Not so far but that Esther got pleasure also from these; she enjoyed the novelty, she enjoyed the society, even she enjoyed the sight of so many in the large family; to the solitary girl, who had all her life lived and worked alone, the stir and breeze and bustle of a boarding-school were like fresh air to the lungs, or fresh soil to the plant. Whether her new companions liked her, she did not so much as question; in the sweetness of her own happy spirit she liked them, which was the more material consideration. She liked every teacher that had to do with her; after which, it is needless to add, that Miss Gainsborough had none but favourers and friends in that part of her new world. And it was so delicious to be learning; and in such a mood one learns fast. Esther felt, when she went home at the end of the week, that she was already a different person from the one who had left it on Monday morning. Christopher came for her with an old horse and a gig, which was a new subject of interest. 'Where did you get them?' she asked, as soon as she had taken her seat, and begun to make her observations. 'Nowheres, Miss Esther; leastways I didn't. The colonel, he's bought 'em of some old chap that wanted to get rid of 'em.' 'Bought? Then they are ours!' exclaimed Esther with delight. 'Well, the gig seems very nice; is it a good horse, Christopher?' 'Well, mum,' said Mr. Bounder in a tone of very moderate appreciation, 'master says he's the remains of one. The colonel knows, to be sure, but I can't say as I see the remains. I think, maybe, somewheres in the last century he may have deserved high consideration; at present, he's got four legs, to be sure, such as they be, and a head. The head's the most part of him.' 'Obstinate?' said Esther, laughing. 'Well, mum, he thinks he knows in all circumstances what is best to be done. I'm only a human, and naturally I thinks otherwise. That makes differences of opinion.' 'He seems to go very well.' 'No doubt, mum,' said Christopher; 'you let him choose his way, and he'll go uncommon; that he do.' He went so well, in fact, that the drive was exhilarating; the gig was very easy; and Esther's spirits rose. At her age, the mind is just opening to appreciate keenly whatever is presented to it; every new bit of knowledge, every new experience, a new book or a new view, seemed to be taken up by her senses and her intelligence alike, with a fresh clearness of perception, which had in itself something very enjoyable. But this afternoon, how pleasant everything was! Not the weather, however; a grey mist from the sea was sweeping inland, veiling the country, and darkening the sky, and carrying with it a penetrating raw chillness which was anything but agreeable. Yet to Esther it was good weather. She was entered at school; she had had a busy, happy week, and was going home; there were things at home that she wanted to put in order; and her father must be glad to have her ministry again. Then learning was so delightful, and it was so pleasant to be, at least in some small measure, keeping step with Pitt. No, probably not that; certainly not that; Pitt would be far in advance of her. At least, in some things, he would be far in advance of her; in others, Esther said to herself, he should not. He might have more advantages at Oxford, no doubt; nevertheless, if he ever came back again to see his old friends, he should find her doing her part and standing up to her full measure of possibilities. Would Pitt come back? Surely he would, Esther thought. But would he, in such a case, make all the journey to New York to look up his old teacher and his old playmate and scholar? She answered this query with as little hesitation as the other. And so, it will be perceived, Esther's mind was in as brisk motion as her body during the drive out to Chelsea. For at that day a wide stretch of country, more or less cultivated, lay between what is now Abingdon Square and what was then the city. Esther's new home was a little further on still, down near the bank of the river; a drive of a mile and a half or two miles from Miss Fairbairn's school; and the short November day was closing in already when she got there. Mrs. Barker received her almost silently, but with gladness in every feature, and with a quantity of careful, tender ministrations, every one of which had the effect of a caress. 'How is papa? Has he missed me much?' 'The colonel is quite as usual, mum; and he didn't say to me as his feelin's were, but in course he's missed you. The house itself has missed you, Miss Esther.' 'Well, I am glad to be home for a bit, Barker,' said Esther, laughing. 'Surely, I know it must be fine for you to go to school, mum; but a holiday's a holiday; and I've got a nice pheasant for your supper, Miss Esther, and I hope as you'll enjoy it.' 'Thank you, Barker. Oh, anything will be good;' and she ran into the sitting-room to see her father. The greetings here were quiet, too; the colonel was never otherwise, in manner. And then Esther gave a quick look round the room to see if all were as she wanted it to be. 'My dear,' said the colonel, gazing at her, 'I had no idea you were so tall!' Esther laughed. I seem to have grown, oh, inches, in feeling, this week, papa. I don't wonder I look tall.' 'Never "wonder," my dear, at anything. Are you satisfied with your new position?' 'Very much, papa. Have you missed me?—badly, I mean?' 'There is no way of missing a person pleasantly, that I know,' said her father; 'unless it is a disagreeable person. Yes, I have missed you, Esther; but I am willing to miss you.' This was not quite satisfactory to Esther's feeling; but her father's wonted way was somewhat dry and self-contained. The fact that this was an unwonted occasion might have made a difference, she thought; and was a little disappointed that it did not; but then, as the colonel went back to his book, she put off further discussions till supper-time, and ran away to see to some of the house arrangements which she had upon her heart. In these she was soon gaily busy; finding the work delightful after the long interval of purely mental action. She had done a good many things, she felt with pleasure, before she was called to tea. Then it was with new enjoyment that she found herself ministering to her father again; making his toast just as he liked it, pouring out his tea, and watching over his wants. The colonel seemed to take up things simply where she had left them; and was almost as silent as ever. 'Who has made your toast while I have been away, papa?' Esther asked, unable to-night to endure this silence. 'My toast? Oh, Barker, of course.' 'Did she make it right?' 'Right? My dear, I have given up expecting to have servants do somethings as they ought to be done. Toast is one of the things. They are outside of the limitations of the menial mind.' 'What is the reason, papa? Can't they be taught?' 'I don't know, my dear. I never have been able to teach them. They always think toast is done when it is brown, and the browner the better, I should say. Also it is beyond their comprehension that thickness makes a difference. There was an old soldier once I had under me in India; he was my servant; he was the only man I ever saw who could make a piece of toast.' 'What are some of the other things that cannot be taught, papa?' 'A cup of tea.' 'Does not Barker make your tea good?' asked Esther, in some dismay. 'She can do many other things,' said the colonel. 'She is a very competent woman.' 'So I thought. What is the matter with the tea, papa—the tea she makes?' 'I don't know, my dear, what the matter is. It is without fragrance, and without sprightliness, and generally about half as hot as it ought to be.' 'No good toast and no good tea! Papa, I am afraid you have missed me very much at meal times?' 'I have missed you at all times—more than I thought possible. But it cannot be helped.' 'Papa,' said Esther, suddenly very serious, 'can it not be helped?' 'No, my dear. How should it?' 'I might stay at home.' 'We have come here that you might go to school.' 'But if it is to your hurt, papa'— 'Not the question, my dear. About me it is of no consequence. The matter in hand is, that you should grow up to be a perfect woman—perfect as your mother was; that would have been her wish, and it is mine. To that all other things must give way. I wish you to have every information and every accomplishment that it is possible for you in this country to acquire.' 'Is there not as good a chance here as in England, papa?' 'What do you mean by "chance," my dear? Opportunity? No; there cannot yet be the same advantages here as in an old country, which has been educating its sons and its daughters in the most perfect way for hundreds of years.' Esther pricked up her ears. The box of coins recurred to her memory, and sundry conversations held over it with Pitt Dallas. Whereby she had certainly got an impression that it was not so very long since England's educational provisions and practices, for England's daughters at least, had been open to great criticism, and displayed great lack of the desirable. 'Hundreds of years!' But she offered no contradiction to her father's remark. 'I would like you to be equal to any Englishwoman in your acquirements and accomplishments,' he repeated musingly. 'So far as in New York that is possible.' 'I will try what I can do, papa. And, after all, it depends more on the girl than on the school, does it not?' 'Humph! Well, a good deal depends on you, certainly. Did Miss Fairbairn find you backward in your studies, to begin with?' 'Papa,' said Esther slowly, 'I do not think she did.' 'Not in anything?' 'In French and music, of course.' 'Of course! But in history?' 'No, papa.' 'Nor in Latin?' 'Oh no, papa.' 'Then you can take your place well with the rest?' 'Perfectly, papa.' 'Do you like it? And does Miss Fairbairn approve of you? Has the week been pleasant?' 'Yes, sir. I like it very much, and I think she likes me—if only you get on well, papa. How have you been all these days?' 'Not very well. I think, not so well as at Seaforth. The air here does not agree with me. There is a rawness—I do not know what—a peculiar quality, which I did not find at Seaforth. It affects my breast disagreeably.' 'But, dear papa!' cried Esther in dismay, 'if this place does not agree with you, do not let us stay here! Pray do not for me!' 'My dear, I am quite willing to suffer a little for your good.' 'But if is bad for you, papa?' 'What does that matter? I do not expect to live very long in any case; whether a little longer or a little shorter, is most immaterial. I care to live only so far as I can be of service to you, and while you need me, my child.' 'Papa, when should I not need you?' cried Esther, feeling as if her breath were taken away by this view of things. 'The children grow up to be independent of the parents,' said the colonel, somewhat abstractly. 'It is the way of nature. It must be; for the old pass away, and the young step forward to fill their places. What I wish is that you should get ready to fill your place well. That is what we have come here for. We have taken the step, and we cannot go back.' 'Couldn't we, papa? if New York is not good for you?' 'No, my dear. We have sold our Seaforth place.' 'Mr. Dallas would sell it back again.' 'I shall not ask him. And neither do I desire to have it back, Esther. I have come here on good grounds, and on those grounds I shall stay. How I personally am affected by the change is of little consequence.' The colonel, having by this time finished his third slice of toast and drunk up his tea, turned to his book. Esther remained greatly chilled and cast down. Was her advantage to be bought at the cost of shortening her father's life? Was her rich enjoyment of study and mental growth to be balanced by suffering and weariness on his part?—every day of her new life in school to be paid for by such a day's price at home? Esther could not bear to think it. She sat pondering, chewing the bitter cud of these considerations. She longed to discuss them further, and get rid, if possible, of her father's dismal conclusions; but with him she could not, and there was no other. When her father had settled and dismissed a subject, she could rarely re-open a discussion upon it. The colonel was an old soldier; when he had delivered an opinion, he had in a sort given his orders; to question was almost to be guilty of insubordination. He had gone back to his book, and Esther dared not say another word; all the more her thoughts burnt within her, and for a long time she sat musing, going over a great many things besides those they had been talking of. 'Papa,' she said, once when the colonel stirred and let his book fall for a minute, 'do you think Pitt Dallas will come home at all?' 'William Dallas! why should he not come home? His parents will want to see him. I have some idea they expect him to come over next summer.' 'To stay, papa?' 'To stay the vacation. He will go back again, of course, to keep his terms.' 'At Oxford?' 'Yes; and perhaps afterwards in the Temple.' 'The Temple, papa? what is that?' 'A school of law. Do you not know so much, Esther?' 'Is he going to be a lawyer?' 'His father wishes him to study for some profession, and in that he is as usual judicious. The fact that William will have a great deal of money does not affect the matter at all. It is my belief that every man ought to have a profession. It makes him more of a man.' 'Do you think Pitt will end by being an Englishman, papa?' 'I can't tell, my dear. That would depend on circumstances, probably. I should think it very likely, and very natural.' 'But he is an American.' 'Half.' The colonel took up his book again. 'Papa,' said Esther eagerly, 'do you think Pitt will come to see us here?' 'Come to see us? If anything brings him to New York, I have no doubt he will look us up.' 'You do not think he would come all the way on purpose? Papa, he would be very much changed if he did not.' 'Impossible to say, my dear. He is very likely to have changed.' And the colonel went back to his reading. 'Papa does not care about it,' thought Esther. 'Oh, can Pitt be so much changed as that?' <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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