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Old Tobacco Shop

<h2>CHAPTER XII</h2> <h3>THE VOYAGE OF THE SIEVE</h3> When Freddie awoke the next morning, he leaned up on his elbow, rubbing his eyes, and was surprised to see the floor of the little room in which he found himself settling slowly down at one side. In a moment the floor rose again on that side, and the other side settled down. Then the whole room tilted sideways and back again. It made him dizzy, and he closed his eyes, wondering what kind of a house he had gotten into. He decided he would get up and find out about it. He carefully rose, and tried to walk across the floor to the window. As he stepped out, the floor seemed to go down under him, and he quickly grasped the bed; he put out his foot again, and the floor rose up; he was dizzier than before, and he had a queer sinking feeling in his stomach. As the floor tilted down sideways again, he made a dash to the opposite wall, and held on there by the window; but the floor sank again, and he made another dash, back to bed. He was cold and hot, and his head ached, and there was a feeling in his stomach as if—oh dear! He decided he would lie in bed for a few moments until he felt better. He remained there for two days. What occurred during those two days he could not remember very well afterwards. He slept a great deal, and it seemed that some one with a green patch over his eye came in now and then; but he paid very little[Pg 82] attention. All he wanted was to go to sleep and stay asleep. On the morning after his third night he sat up wide awake. He was hungry. He jumped up and dressed in a hurry. As the floor tilted and sank and rose with him he thought he had never felt so delicious a sensation. He wondered if there would be bacon and eggs for breakfast. In a moment he had thrown open the door and he was running up a short flight of steps. He was weak and tottery, but he paid no attention to that. He was at the top of the steps, and he drew in a deep breath of the cool morning air. He was standing on the deck of a great ship. Over his head clouds and clouds of beautiful white canvas swelled out to the breeze. The sun was sparkling merrily on the water, and there was no land to be seen anywhere. Up forward, the bow of the ship was dipping and rising regularly. There were three tall masts, and on the first two the sails were set square to the masts, and on the third lengthwise; every sail seemed to be up. It was glorious. He walked forward up the deck. Here and there were men in blue overalls, cleaning the deck, coiling ropes, and polishing metal; and in a little house with windows a man was standing beside an upright wheel. Near the first mast, in a group, were Aunt Amanda, Mr. Toby, the Churchwarden, and the two old Codgers. Freddie hailed them with a shout. "All right, young feller," cried Mr. Toby, as Freddie came up, "here we are! How is this for a corking spree? Beats all the Tolchester excursions you ever see, that's what I say! Blamed if it don't. I ain't been out of bed for two days." "No more has any of us," said Aunt Amanda. "Do[Pg 83] you feel well, Freddie? I declare I'm quite excited. Isn't the air invigorating?" "Yes'm," said Freddie. "What did you say in your note, Mr. Toby?" "What note?" said Toby. "Why, your note to my mother, explaining about me and——" "By crackey!" cried Toby. "Blamed if I didn't clean forget all about it! Now ain't that too bad! What on earth are we going to do about it?" "Well!" said Aunt Amanda. "Now ain't that just like you, Toby Littleback? I declare if your head wasn't fastened on you'd——" "Wery reprehensible," said Mr. Punch. "Wery." "My dear friends," said the Sly Old Codger, "let us not be disquieted on such a morning as this. Everything is so beautiful. So beautiful! And without any expense whatever. It is a precious thought. How pleasant it is to hear the breeze blowing so gently among all the little capstans up there!" He took off his high silk hat and looked up among the sails with a rapt expression on his face, and all the others looked up too, trying to see the capstans fluttering in the breeze. "Look!" cried Aunt Amanda. "Why, there's Mr. Hanlon!" Far, far up, near the top of the second mast, was a white figure, standing on a rope under the topmost sail, and holding on with one hand and waving the other down at the passengers. Mr. Toby waved his white derby, and Mr. Hanlon began to come down. Freddie trembled with alarm, but Mr. Hanlon was obviously having the time of his life. He skipped swiftly along his dangerous perch, and sliding down and along the spars of wood that held the sails, and actually leaping from one to another, and tripping[Pg 84] lightly down ladders of rope, while the whole top swayed dizzily from side to side, he at length came down on the deck with a bounce, and bowing to everybody shook Freddie by the hand. "Here comes the Able Seaman!" cried Toby. "And see what he's got on his wrist!" Mr. Lemuel Mizzen came rolling down the deck, and as he approached he took off his cap with his left hand and made a bow. On his right wrist was a blue and red parrot, who cocked his head sideways at the strangers, and then looked up inquiringly at the Able Seaman. "Good morning, all!" said Mr. Mizzen. "Glad to see the passengers come to life again! Nothing like the open sea, lady and gentlemen!" "Are you sure it's perfectly safe?" said Aunt Amanda. "Perfectly safe, ma'am. A tight little bark is The Sieve, provided the dippers hold out. Most of the men is below now, baling out the water with their dippers, and the ship ain't leaking more than ordinary—yet. Of course you never can tell what may happen, but there's plenty of dippers, unless we should founder in a storm, or split up on the rocks, or——" "Mercy on us!" cried Aunt Amanda. "I wish we hadn't come. If I only had some sewing with me." "Would you mend socks, ma'am?" "Oh, that would be lovely! And I could look after the men's shirts, too, and count the laundry when it comes home, and—I'm sure we are going to have a delightful voyage! I feel better already. I don't believe there's any danger after all. It's all nonsense about the ship's leaking." "Who's your f-f-f-friends, L-l-lem?" shrieked a voice from Mr. Mizzen's wrist. Everyone started, and looked in amazement at the[Pg 85] parrot, whose head was perked sideways up at Mr. Mizzen's face. "L-l-lem!" shrieked the parrot, stuttering terribly. "Who's your f-f-f-friends?" "Never you mind," said Lemuel, "you'll find out soon enough. Breakfast's ready. Anybody want breakfast?" Before anyone had a chance to reply, the parrot opened his mouth wide and gave a loud laugh, and cried out: "Th-th-three ch-cheers! Th-th-there's ch-ch-chops, s-s-steak, b-b-bacon and eggs! I'll have l-l-l-liver and onions! Ha! ha! ha! Th-th-three ch-cheers for l-l-l-liver and onions!" "Be quiet, Marmaduke," said the Able Seaman. "I'll lock you up again, if you ain't careful." "K-k-k-ker-choo!" said Marmaduke, giving a loud sneeze; and rubbed his beak with his foot and fluttered his feathers. "L-l-l-lock me up in the a-a-after hold, till I g-g-g-get all over this d-d-d-dreadful cold! Th-th-three ch-cheers for hay f-f-f-fever! K-k-k-ker-choo!" "I'll lock you up in the after hold, if you don't quit being so fresh and bold; I'll learn you manners before I'm through, and if ever I hear one little—" "Ker-choo!" said Marmaduke, finishing Mr. Mizzen's sentence for him very neatly. Everyone laughed, except the Able Seaman. "All right," said he, "just wait till I've had my chow, I'll attend to you proper; now off with you—now!" And he tossed Master Marmaduke off his wrist up into the air. The parrot lit on a spar overhead, just under a sail, and peered down at the company without the least appearance of embarrassment. "If there's b-b-b-bacon and eggs," he cried, "I'll take l-l-l-liver! Th-th-three ch-ch-cheers for l-l-l-liver!" <div style="height: 0"> </div> <div class="figcenter"> [Pg 86] <ANTIMG src="images/i002.png" alt=""L-l-lem!" shrieked the parrot. "Who's your f-f-f-friends?"" /> "L-l-lem!" shrieked the parrot. "Who's your f-f-f-friends?" </div> [Pg 87] Freddie burst into a merry laugh, and all his friends joined; all except Mr. Punch, who looked puzzled. "'Ow could 'e 'ave liver," said he, "hif there was only bycon an' heggs?" At this everyone laughed louder than before, and Mr. Punch was completely perplexed. "I'll explain that to you some day," said Toby. "Didn't you never hear a joke?" "Ho, yes," said Mr. Punch. "Hi 'eard a wery good joke once; a wery good one indeed. Hi'll relate it to you. When I was a lad—" "There's the breakfast bell," said Mr. Mizzen. "Sorry to interrupt, but we mustn't let it get cold. We'll hold the election afterwards." No one waited to hear Mr. Punch's joke. The Able Seaman led the way, and all the others followed him down the deck, towards a kind of three-sided box which opened on a stairway below. In a moment or two they found themselves in the dining-saloon, and in another moment they were seated about a round table, set for breakfast. The passengers insisted on the Able Seaman's sitting down with them, and he consented to do so. A lad of about eighteen entered, to wait on the table. He had a shock of bright red hair, and a kind of frightened look in his eyes, as if he were afraid he would do everything wrong, and would always be in hot water about it. He stood behind the Able Seaman's chair, and began to make a queer contortion of the face, in an effort to speak. "Th-th-th-there's—" he began. "Skipper first," interrupted Mr. Mizzen, nodding towards Freddie. The Cabin-boy (for that was what he was) went to Freddie's chair, and began to speak again, with the same contortion of the face.[Pg 88] "Th-th-th-there's ch-ch-chops, s-s-s-steak, b-b-b-bacon and eggs," he said. "Yes, sir," said Freddie. The Cabin-boy stared in bewilderment, and began again. "Th-th-th-there's ch-ch-chops, s-s-s-steak, b-b-b-bacon and eggs," said he. "Yes, sir," said Freddie, much embarrassed. "I don't blame you, skipper," said the Able Seaman. "I would too, if I hadn't eaten for two days. Next!" The Cabin-boy stood behind Aunt Amanda's chair, and began: "Th-th-th-there's ch-ch-chops, s-s-s-steak, b-b-b-bacon and—Ker-choo!" He gave a hearty sneeze, and pulled out his pocket-handkerchief; so he had to begin all over again: "Th-th-th-there's ch-ch-chops, s-s-s-s-s—" "Chops, thank you," said Aunt Amanda. The Cabin-boy took his stand behind Toby's chair, and began: "There's—there's—th-th-th-th—Ker-choo! Th-th-there's ch-ch-ch-chops, s-s-s-s-s—" "Chops and steak," said Toby. The Cabin-boy stood behind each of the other chairs in turn, and repeated each time his entire list. Everybody gave a different order, and the boy became so bewildered at last that he wiped his forehead with his pocket-handkerchief, brushed a tear from his eye, and when he had taken the last order dashed out of the door with a kind of sob. As soon as he was gone, sounds came through the door by which he had left, as if a dreadful row was going on in the next room. "Frightful temper, that cook," said the Able Seaman, "but the boy certainly does get on his nerves." In a short time the Cabin-boy came in with four[Pg 89] plates at once, and as he reached Freddie's chair the ship gave a deep lurch downward, and the four plates shot out of his arms across the room, showering the floor with chops, steak, bacon and eggs. The boy gave a wild cry and burst into tears, and fled through the door. From the next room came the sound of a row more violent than before. "Never mind," said Mr. Mizzen, "he'll be back." He came back presently, his eyes very red, and stumbling in and out managed to put down before each one a plate. Every plate contained chops, steak, bacon and eggs. "Now," said Mr. Mizzen, when the breakfast was over, "we'll go up and hold the election." When they came on deck, they were astonished to see a considerable number of men in blue overalls, who were sitting on the deck in a group. As the passengers approached, they stood up respectfully, and one of them said something privately to Mr. Mizzen. "They've held the election already," said the Able Seaman, turning to the passengers. "There's three dozen of 'em, and they've elected the captains and mates for the voyage; thirteen captains and twenty-three mates. They went right ahead without waiting for me, so I'm the only Able Seaman left on the ship." "What!" said Aunt Amanda. "Do you mean to tell me—?" "It's all right, madam," said Mr. Mizzen in an undertone. "You see, they're all free and equal, and everything goes by voting. They won't have it any other way. It's lucky they didn't all want to be captains. It's all right, anyway, because there's none of 'em knows anything about navigation, and I'm the only one on board that does know; so it comes to the same thing as if they had elected me captain. But of course they don't think of that. Not a word. I'll send 'em[Pg 90] about their business now, as soon as they've put on their uniforms." "Well!" said Aunt Amanda, gasping. "I never in my life—!" The thirteen captains and the twenty-three mates disappeared from the deck in a hurry, and in a very few minutes reappeared. Each one of them wore, in place of his blue overalls, a smart blue suit with brass buttons and gold braid, and a jaunty blue cap with gold braid around it; the mates having only nine instead of ten rows of braid around their sleeves. The Able Seaman led them aside, and after a few words with them returned to his passengers. "Everything's settled," said he. "Some of them are going below with their dippers, and the rest of them are to look after handling the ship. The navigation is left to me. We'll get along fine now, provided the leaks don't get any worse." Freddie wandered off by himself, to inspect the ship. He could walk very well now, in spite of the roll of the ship, and he went everywhere. He found himself finally on the after deck, leaning over the rail and watching the wake of the ship boiling away so white and beautiful behind. He was more and more delighted with this strange adventure. It was too bad that Mr. Toby had forgotten to write the note to his mother, but it couldn't be helped now, and they would sometime find a place somewhere or other where they could post a letter. It was so entrancing to be actually at sea on a ship, with the deck rising and falling, and the wake boiling away behind, and land nowhere in sight, that it would seem a pity ever to arrive at the Spanish Main; but the thought of adventures there—! However, he was in no hurry to have the voyage over. Aunt Amanda was sitting somewhere with a pile of[Pg 91] sailors' socks in her lap, perfectly contented. Mr. Hanlon was swinging his feet away up yonder from the topmost yard of the second mast. The Churchwarden, Mr. Punch, Toby, and the Sly Old Fox were engaged in an earnest discussion in chairs beside the deck-house. The Old Codger with the Wooden Leg was speaking confidentially in the ear of the twenty-first mate, in an effort to borrow a pipeful of tobacco. Suddenly Freddie heard behind him the loud harsh laughter of Marmaduke the parrot. Turning round, he saw the parrot perched on the ship's rail, and before him was the Cabin-boy, shaking his finger in the parrot's face, and storming away at him angrily. Freddie immediately went over to them. "I w-w-w-won't s-s-s-s-stand it no l-l-l-l-longer!" the Cabin-boy was bawling, his face nearly as red as his hair. "I w-w-w-won't! W-w-w-what do you m-m-m-mean by m-m-m-mocking me all the t-t-t-ime?" "Who? M-m-m-m-m-me?" said the parrot. "Y-y-y-yaas, y-y-y-you!" cried the Cabin-boy. "Just because I s-s-s-s-s-stutter, do you—do you—do you have to—have to—s-s-s-s-stut-stutter too?" "M-m-m-m-me? You're entirely m-m-m-m-mistaken. You're the one that s-s-s-stut-s-s-s-stutters." "Ain't you always s-s-saying—saying—ch-ch-chops, s-s-s-steak, b-b-b-b-bacon and eggs? Ain't you? You've got to k-k-k-k-quit—r-r-right now, d'you hear? I w-w-w-won't s-s-s-stand it no l-l-l-l-longer, and you b-b-b-better b-b-b-believe it!" "Highty-tighty! Sixty, ninety! Uncle Sam! Pop pop! Th-th-there's ch-ch-chops, s-s-s-steak, b-b-b-bacon and eggs! Th-th-three ch-ch-cheers for l-l-l-liver and onions!" The poor Cabin-boy burst out crying. "All ri-i-i-ight," he sobbed, stamping his foot. "All ri-i-i-ight. I c-c-can't help it—if—I do s-s-stutter. But[Pg 92] there ain't no p-p-p-p-parrot going to m-m-m-m-mock me, M-m-m-m-mizzen nor no M-m-m-m-mizzen. I'll wring—your—bla-a-a-asted—neck first, you ornery—l-l-l-little—varmint, you s-s-s-see if I—see if I—d-d-d-don't!" "Marmaduke's my name!" shrieked the parrot. "Please to note the same! Pop, pop, pop! I'll have l-l-l-liver and onions, l-l-l-l-liver and onions, l-l-l-l-liver and onions, pop, pop, pop!" The Cabin-boy, shaking with sobs, raised his hand threateningly. "D-d-d-d-don't you d-d-d-dare t-t-t-to—Ker-choo!" He sneezed, and out came his handkerchief. "Ker-choo!" sneezed the parrot, and rubbed his beak with his foot. This was the last straw. The Cabin-boy reached for Marmaduke's neck, and would surely have choked him then and there, if Freddie had not caught his arm and pulled him away. The Cabin-boy allowed himself to be led off, and Freddie drew him along towards the companion-way. "Come along down to my room," said Freddie. "All r-r-right," said the Cabin-boy, wiping his eyes and sniffling. "I'll c-c-c-come, b-b-b-but there's going to be trouble—trouble—on this sh-sh-sh-ship along o' that p-p-p-parrot before this—before this v-v-v-voyage—is over, you m-m-m-mark m-m-m-m-my w-w-w-w-words!" <hr class="major" /> [Pg 93] <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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