<p><SPAN name="CHAPTER_5" id="CHAPTER_5"></SPAN></p>
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<h2>CHAPTER 5<br/> <small>Headway</small></h2>
<p>When Randy wakened, Kabumpo had already started on, grumbling under
his breath, because nowhere in sight was there a green bush, a tree or
anything at all that an elephant or little boy might eat.</p>
<p>"Where are we?" yawned Randy, sitting up and rubbing his eyes with his
knuckles. "Great Gillikens, this is as bad as Gaper's Gulch!"</p>
<p>"All the countries bordering on the Deadly Desert are queer no-count
little places," sniffed the Elegant Elephant, angrily jerking his robe
off a cactus. "And from the feel of the air, we must be near the
desert now."</p>
<p>At mention of the Deadly Desert, Randy lapsed into an uneasy silence,
for how could they ever cross this tract of burning sand, and how could
they reach Ev or Jinnicky's castles unless they did cross it? While
this vast belt of destroying sand effectively kept enemies out of Oz,
it also kept the Ozians in.</p>
<p>"If we only had some of Jinnicky's magic or even his silver dinner bell
to bring us a good breakfast!" sighed Randy, glancing round hungrily.
"Pretty stupid of me not to have brought along a lunch, and there's not
even a brook or stream in this miserable little patch of woods where a
body could quench his thirst. Maybe it will rain, and that would help a
little."</p>
<p>"Maybe," admitted Kabumpo, squinting up at the leaden sky. "Anyway,
here we are out of the woods, but take a look at those rocks!"</p>
<p>"And those heads behind the rocks," whispered Randy, clutching
Kabumpo's collar.</p>
<p>"There's something pretty odd about those heads, if you ask me,"
wheezed the Elegant Elephant, curling up his trunk. "Odd or I'm losing
my eye and ear sight."</p>
<p>"Odd!" hissed Randy, tightening his hold on Kabumpo's collar. "Good
goats and gravy! They're flying round loose like birds. Why, they've
got no bodies on 'em, no bodies at all!"</p>
<p>"Read the sign," directed Kabumpo, uncurling his trunk and pointing
to a crude warning scratched on a flat slab at the edge of the road
leading to the rocky promontory above.</p>
<p>"Heads up! This road leads to Headland, nobody's allowed."</p>
<p>"Humph! Well, we won't make much headway without our bodies," grunted
Kabumpo, as Randy read the message slowly to himself. "Such impudence!
Why should we pay any attention to such stuff? Bodies or not, we're
going on, and how can fellows minus feet and arms hope to stop us?"</p>
<p>"They might crash down on us with their heads," worried Randy, as an
angry flock of Headmen circled round and round at the top of the road,
"and those heads look hard."</p>
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<p>"Not any harder than mine. Keep your crown on, Randy," advised Kabumpo
grimly, "the spikes will dent 'em good, and if you reach down in my
left-hand pocket you'll find a short club. The club will be better than
your sword; you can't cut a head off no neck and besides we don't
really want to injure the pests. All ready? Then here we go!"</p>
<p>Randy did not answer, for hooking his heels through Kabumpo's harness,
he was already delving into the capacious pocket on the left side of
the Elegant Elephant's robe, discovering not only a club, but a quiver
full of darts. Jerking himself upright, the club in one hand, the darts
in the other, he peered aloft with growing anxiety as foot over foot
Kabumpo climbed up the granite slope. The faces of the Headmen were
round and deeply wrinkled from the hot winds blowing off the desert;
their ears, huge and fan-shaped, flapped like wings, and like wings
propelled them through the air. Before Kabumpo reached the top, a whole
bevy came whizzing toward them, screaming out indignant threats and
warnings.</p>
<p>"Off, be off!" they shouted hysterically. "Off with their arms, off
with their legs, off with their bodies! Halt! Stop! Begone, you
miserable creepy crawly creatures. You dare not set a foot on our
beautiful Headland."</p>
<p>"Oh, daren't we?" Kabumpo shook his trunk belligerently. "And who is to
stop us, pray?"</p>
<p>"I am," rasped the ugliest of the Headmen. Snatching a coil of wire
from a niche in the rocks with his teeth, the ugly little Mugly came
flapping toward them. Another of the Headmen hastened to seize the
opposite end of the wire in his teeth and, stretching it between them,
they came rushing on.</p>
<p>"Watch out!" warned Randy, dropping flat between Kabumpo's ears.
"They're going to trip you up."</p>
<p>"Wrong, how wrong," chattered all the Headmen, bobbing up and down like
balloons let off their strings. "They're going to cut off his body,"
confided one of the long-nosed tribesmen, zooming down to whisper this
information in Randy's ear. "The creature's head is welcome enough
and with those enormous ears he'll have no trouble flying, but his
body—oh, his body is awful and must stay behind. And your body, too,
you little monster, we'll cut that off too," promised the Headman
in his oily voice. "What use is a body, anyway? I see you have very
small ears, but they can be stretched. And just wait till you've been
debodicated, you'll feel so right and light and flighty."</p>
<p>"Help! Stop! Help! Help!" screamed Randy, as the ugly Mugly gave him a
playful nip on the ear. "Back up, Kabumpo, back down. They're going to
catch you in that wire and choke you."</p>
<p>"Pah! nonsense," panted the Elegant Elephant. And heaving himself up
over the last barrier, he stepped confidently out on the rocky plateau.</p>
<p>"Heads up! Heads up!" shrilled the Headmen, while the two with the
wire, deftly encircling Kabumpo's great neck, began to fly apart in
order to draw the noose tighter. Kabumpo ducked, but much too late,
and though his ferocious trumpeting sent swarms of Headmen fluttering
aloft, the two holding the wire stuck to their task, pulling and
jerking with all their teeth till Kabumpo's jeweled collar was pressing
uncomfortably into his throat.</p>
<p>"Don't worry," he grunted gamely, "their teeth will give way before my
neck does. Calm yourself, my boy, ca—alm your—self."</p>
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<p>But how could Randy feel calm with his best friend in such a
predicament and already beginning to gasp for breath? Jumping up and
down on Kabumpo's back, he rattled his club valiantly, but the Headmen
were too high up for him to reach, and when at last he flung the
club with all his strength at the one on the left, it seemed to make
no impression at all on the hard head of the enemy. Redoubling his
efforts, he drew the wire tighter and tighter in his yellow teeth. In
desperation, Randy suddenly remembered the darts, and drawing one
from the quiver, sent it speeding upward. The first missed, but as the
Elegant Elephant began to sway and quiver beneath him, the second found
its mark, striking the Headman squarely in the middle of the forehead.
An expression of surprise and dismay overspread his wrinkled features,
and next instant, with a terrific yawn, he dropped the wire and fell
headlong to the rocks, where he rolled over and over and over.</p>
<p>"Great Goopers!" exclaimed Randy, hardly able to believe his luck.
"Why, he's not hurt at all, but has fallen asleep."</p>
<p>"Watch the others, the—others!" gulped Kabumpo, shaking his head
in an effort to free it from the wire. Already another had flown to
take his fallen comrade's place, but before he could snatch the wire,
Randy brought him to earth with one of his sharply pointed darts. The
next who ventured he shot down too, and as the rest of the band came
swarming down to see what was happening, Randy sent arrow after arrow
winging into their midst till the flat, smooth rock was dotted with
sleepy heads, for each one hit promptly fell asleep. Though his arm
ached and his heart thumped uncomfortably, Randy did not even pause
for breath till he had sent the last arrow into the air, and then quite
suddenly he realized he had won this strange and ridiculous battle.
More than half of the ear-men, as he could not help calling them to
himself, lay snoring on the ground; the rest with terrified shrieks and
whistles were flapping off as fast as their ears would carry them. Now
entirely free of the wire, but still trembling and gasping, Kabumpo
stared angrily after them.</p>
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<p>"What I cannot understand," puffed Randy, sliding to the ground to
examine a group of the enemy, "is what put them to sleep? I thought
your darts might hurt or head them off or puncture them like balloons,
but instead—here they are asleep, and How asleep! Shall I pull out
the arrows? I might need them later."</p>
<p>"They're not MY arrows," Kabumpo said, wrinkling his forehead in
a puzzled frown. "I didn't have any arrows, but Ha, Ha, Kerumph!"
The Elegant Elephant began to shake all over. "They must be Gaper
Arrows—the Wakes must have stuck them in my pocket when they fetched
my robe and head-piece. Pretty cute of the little rascals, at that.
Why, these must be the same arrows the Winks shot at me, Randy, but my
hide was too tough for them and they didn't work."</p>
<p>"Well, they certainly made short work of the Headmen," said Randy,
turning one over gently with his foot. "Goodness! I thought you'd be
choked and done for, old fellow!"</p>
<p>"Who, ME? Nonsense! My neck would have broken their teeth in another
minute or two."</p>
<p>"Well, then, shall I pull out the arrows?" asked Randy, who had his own
opinion about Kabumpo's narrow escape. "We could use them again some
time."</p>
<p>"No, NO! Leave them in! So long as those arrows stick fast the little
villains will sleep fast and that's the only way I can stand 'em."</p>
<p>"But suppose the others fly back?" Randy still hesitated.</p>
<p>"Pooh! Don't you worry about that." Kabumpo raised his trunk
scornfully. "They're frightened out of their wits and probably half way
to the Sapphire City by this time. And when they do come back, we won't
be here."</p>
<p>"Won't we?" Dubiously Randy began to pace across the bare and arid
plateau. "I certainly don't think much of Headland, do you?"</p>
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<p>"I wouldn't have it for a gift, even if they threw in a tusk brush and
diamond earrings besides!" snorted Kabumpo. "Why, it's nothing but a
humpy bumpy acre of rock without a tree, a house, a bird or even a
blade of grass. I'd give the whole country for a mouthful of hay or a
bucketful of water!"</p>
<p>"We might find a spring among the rocks," proposed Randy, hurrying
along hopefully.</p>
<p>"More likely a fall," predicted Kabumpo, trudging gloomily behind him.
But just then, Randy, who had vanished behind a sizable boulder, gave
an excited whoop.</p>
<p>"Hi, yi, Kabumpo! We're here! We're here, right on the edge of it!" he
shouted vociferously. "LOOK!" The Elegant Elephant, pushing round the
rock, did look, then, mopping his forehead with the tip of his robe,
sank heavily to his haunches and for a moment neither said a word. For,
truly enough, the jagged point of Headland projected over the desert
as a high cliff hangs over the sea. Below, the seething sand smoked,
churned and tumbled, sending up sulphurous waves of heat that made both
travelers cough and splutter.</p>
<p>"So, all we have to do is cross," gasped Randy, dashing the tears
brought by the smoke out of his eyes.</p>
<p>"And a simple thing that will be," grunted the Elegant Elephant
sarcastically, "seeing that one foot on the sand spells instant
destruction. If we could just flap our ears like the Headmen, we could
fly across."</p>
<p>"But as we can't," sighed Randy, seating himself despondently on a
boulder. "What are we to do?"</p>
<p>"Well, that remains to be seen," muttered Kabumpo, who had not the
faintest notion. "'Never cross a Deadly Desert on an empty stomach,' is
my motto, and I'm going to stick to it."</p>
<p>"Sticking to mottoes won't get us anywhere," Randy said, skimming a
stone off the edge and watching with a little shudder as it was sucked
down into the whirling sand. "Doesn't that desert make you thirsty?
Goopers, if I had a dipperful of water I'd gladly do without the
breakfast."</p>
<p>"Humph! looks as if you might have that wish." Feeling hurriedly in the
right pocket of his robe, Kabumpo dragged out a waterproof as large
as a tent. "Just spread this over me, will you?" he puffed anxiously.
"Storm coming. Hear that thunder? Storm coming."</p>
<p>"Coming?" cried Randy, springing up to help Kabumpo with the buckles.
"Why, it's here." He had to raise his voice to a scream to make himself
heard above the gale that, arising apparently from nowhere, struck them
furiously from behind. He had just fastened the last strap of the
waterproof to Kabumpo's left ankle when the rain swept down in perfect
torrents; rain, accompanied by hailstones as big as Easter eggs. There
was ample room for Randy beneath the Elegant Elephant, and standing
between his front legs the young monarch lifted the waterproof, and
reaching out caught a huge hailstone in his hand. Touching it against
his parched lips, Randy gave a sigh of content, then crunching it up
rapturously, stuck out his head and let the pelting downpour cool his
hot and dusty face.</p>
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<p>"Wonder if this will put out the desert?" he mused, ducking back as a
terrible clap of thunder boomed like a cannon shot overhead. "SAY, it's
a lucky thing you're so big, Kabumpo," he called up cheerily, "or we'd
be blown away. Whee—listen to that wind, would you!"</p>
<p>"Have to do more than listen," howled the Elegant Elephant, bracing
his feet and lowering his head. "Ahoy! below—catch hold of something,
Randy! Help! Hi! Hold on! HOLD ON! For the love of blue—mountains!
Here we GO! Here we blow! Oooomph! Bloomph! Ker—AHHHHH!"</p>
<p>"Oh, no, Kabumpo! NO!" Leaping up, Randy caught the Elegant Elephant's
broad belt. "Put on—the brakes! Quick!" And Kabumpo did try making a
futile stand against the tearing wind. But the mighty gale, whistling
under his waterproof filled it up and out like a balloon, and with a
regular ferry-boat blast, Kabumpo rose into the air and zoomed like a
Zeppelin over the Deadly Desert, while Randy, hanging grimly to the
strap of his belt, banged to and fro like the clapper on a bell.</p>
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