<h2><SPAN name="page31"></SPAN><span class="pagenum"></span>THE POOR RELATION’S STORY.<br/> [1852]</h2>
<p><span class="smcap">He</span> was very reluctant to take
precedence of so many respected members of the family, by
beginning the round of stories they were to relate as they sat in
a goodly circle by the Christmas fire; and he modestly suggested
that it would be more correct if “John our esteemed
host” (whose health he begged to drink) would have the
kindness to begin. For as to himself, he said, he was so
little used to lead the way that really— But as they
all cried out here, that he must begin, and agreed with one voice
that he might, could, would, and should begin, he left off
rubbing his hands, and took his legs out from under his armchair,
and did begin.</p>
<p>I have no doubt (said the poor relation) that I shall surprise
the assembled members of our family, and particularly John our
esteemed host to whom we are so much indebted for the great
hospitality with which he has this day entertained us, by the
confession I am going to make. But, if you do me the honour
to be surprised at anything that falls from a person so
unimportant in the family as I am, I can only say that I shall be
scrupulously accurate in all I relate.</p>
<p>I am not what I am supposed to be. I am quite another
thing. Perhaps before I go further, I had better glance at
what I <i>am</i> supposed to be.</p>
<p>It is supposed, unless I mistake—the assembled members
of our family will correct me if I do, which is very likely (here
the poor relation looked mildly about him for contradiction);
that I am nobody’s enemy but my own. That I never met
with any particular success in anything. That I failed in
business because I was unbusiness-like and credulous—in not
being prepared for the interested designs of my partner.
That I failed in love, because I was ridiculously
trustful—in thinking it impossible that Christiana could
deceive me. That I failed in my expectations from my uncle
Chill, on account of not being as sharp as he could have wished
in worldly matters. That, through life, I have been rather
put upon and disappointed in a general way. That I am at
present a bachelor of between fifty-nine and sixty years of age,
living on a limited income in the form of a quarterly allowance,
to which I see that John our esteemed host wishes me to make no
further allusion.</p>
<p>The supposition as to my present pursuits and habits is to the
following effect.</p>
<p>I live in a lodging in the Clapham Road—a very clean
back room, in a very respectable house—where I am expected
not to be at home in the day-time, unless poorly; and which I
usually leave in the morning at nine o’clock, on pretence
of going to business. I take my breakfast—my roll and
butter, and my half-pint of coffee—at the old-established
coffee-shop near Westminster Bridge; and then I go into the
City—I don’t know why—and sit in
Garraway’s Coffee House, and on ’Change, and walk
about, and look into a few offices and counting-houses where some
of my relations or acquaintance are so good as to tolerate me,
and where I stand by the fire if the weather happens to be
cold. I get through the day in this way until five
o’clock, and then I dine: at a cost, on the average, of one
and threepence. Having still a little money to spend on my
evening’s entertainment, I look into the old-established
coffee-shop as I go home, and take my cup of tea, and perhaps my
bit of toast. So, as the large hand of the clock makes its
way round to the morning hour again, I make my way round to the
Clapham Road again, and go to bed when I get to my
lodging—fire being expensive, and being objected to by the
family on account of its giving trouble and making a dirt.</p>
<p>Sometimes, one of my relations or acquaintances is so obliging
as to ask me to dinner. Those are holiday occasions, and
then I generally walk in the Park. I am a solitary man, and
seldom walk with anybody. Not that I am avoided because I
am shabby; for I am not at all shabby, having always a very good
suit of black on (or rather Oxford mixture, which has the
appearance of black and wears much better); but I have got into a
habit of speaking low, and being rather silent, and my spirits
are not high, and I am sensible that I am not an attractive
companion.</p>
<p>The only exception to this general rule is the child of my
first cousin, Little Frank. I have a particular affection
for that child, and he takes very kindly to me. He is a
diffident boy by nature; and in a crowd he is soon run over, as I
may say, and forgotten. He and I, however, get on
exceedingly well. I have a fancy that the poor child will
in time succeed to my peculiar position in the family. We
talk but little; still, we understand each other. We walk
about, hand in hand; and without much speaking he knows what I
mean, and I know what he means. When he was very little
indeed, I used to take him to the windows of the toy-shops, and
show him the toys inside. It is surprising how soon he
found out that I would have made him a great many presents if I
had been in circumstances to do it.</p>
<p>Little Frank and I go and look at the outside of the
Monument—he is very fond of the Monument—and at the
Bridges, and at all the sights that are free. On two of my
birthdays, we have dined on à-la-mode beef, and gone at
half-price to the play, and been deeply interested. I was
once walking with him in Lombard Street, which we often visit on
account of my having mentioned to him that there are great riches
there—he is very fond of Lombard Street—when a
gentleman said to me as he passed by, “Sir, your little son
has dropped his glove.” I assure you, if you will
excuse my remarking on so trivial a circumstance, this accidental
mention of the child as mine, quite touched my heart and brought
the foolish tears into my eyes.</p>
<p>When Little Frank is sent to school in the country, I shall be
very much at a loss what to do with myself, but I have the
intention of walking down there once a month and seeing him on a
half holiday. I am told he will then be at play upon the
Heath; and if my visits should be objected to, as unsettling the
child, I can see him from a distance without his seeing me, and
walk back again. His mother comes of a highly genteel
family, and rather disapproves, I am aware, of our being too much
together. I know that I am not calculated to improve his
retiring disposition; but I think he would miss me beyond the
feeling of the moment if we were wholly separated.</p>
<p>When I die in the Clapham Road, I shall not leave much more in
this world than I shall take out of it; but, I happen to have a
miniature of a bright-faced boy, with a curling head, and an open
shirt-frill waving down his bosom (my mother had it taken for me,
but I can’t believe that it was ever like), which will be
worth nothing to sell, and which I shall beg may he given to
Frank. I have written my dear boy a little letter with it,
in which I have told him that I felt very sorry to part from him,
though bound to confess that I knew no reason why I should remain
here. I have given him some short advice, the best in my
power, to take warning of the consequences of being
nobody’s enemy but his own; and I have endeavoured to
comfort him for what I fear he will consider a bereavement, by
pointing out to him, that I was only a superfluous something to
every one but him; and that having by some means failed to find a
place in this great assembly, I am better out of it.</p>
<p>Such (said the poor relation, clearing his throat and
beginning to speak a little louder) is the general impression
about me. Now, it is a remarkable circumstance which forms
the aim and purpose of my story, that this is all wrong.
This is not my life, and these are not my habits. I do not
even live in the Clapham Road. Comparatively speaking, I am
very seldom there. I reside, mostly, in a—I am almost
ashamed to say the word, it sounds so full of pretension—in
a Castle. I do not mean that it is an old baronial
habitation, but still it is a building always known to every one
by the name of a Castle. In it, I preserve the particulars
of my history; they run thus:</p>
<p>It was when I first took John Spatter (who had been my clerk)
into partnership, and when I was still a young man of not more
than five-and-twenty, residing in the house of my uncle Chill,
from whom I had considerable expectations, that I ventured to
propose to Christiana. I had loved Christiana a long
time. She was very beautiful, and very winning in all
respects. I rather mistrusted her widowed mother, who I
feared was of a plotting and mercenary turn of mind; but, I
thought as well of her as I could, for Christiana’s
sake. I never had loved any one but Christiana, and she had
been all the world, and O far more than all the world, to me,
from our childhood!</p>
<p>Christiana accepted me with her mother’s consent, and I
was rendered very happy indeed. My life at my uncle
Chill’s was of a spare dull kind, and my garret chamber was
as dull, and bare, and cold, as an upper prison room in some
stern northern fortress. But, having Christiana’s
love, I wanted nothing upon earth. I would not have changed
my lot with any human being.</p>
<p>Avarice was, unhappily, my uncle Chill’s
master-vice. Though he was rich, he pinched, and scraped,
and clutched, and lived miserably. As Christiana had no
fortune, I was for some time a little fearful of confessing our
engagement to him; but, at length I wrote him a letter, saying
how it all truly was. I put it into his hand one night, on
going to bed.</p>
<p>As I came down-stairs next morning, shivering in the cold
December air; colder in my uncle’s unwarmed house than in
the street, where the winter sun did sometimes shine, and which
was at all events enlivened by cheerful faces and voices passing
along; I carried a heavy heart towards the long, low
breakfast-room in which my uncle sat. It was a large room
with a small fire, and there was a great bay window in it which
the rain had marked in the night as if with the tears of
houseless people. It stared upon a raw yard, with a cracked
stone pavement, and some rusted iron railings half uprooted,
whence an ugly out-building that had once been a dissecting-room
(in the time of the great surgeon who had mortgaged the house to
my uncle), stared at it.</p>
<p>We rose so early always, that at that time of the year we
breakfasted by candle-light. When I went into the room, my
uncle was so contracted by the cold, and so huddled together in
his chair behind the one dim candle, that I did not see him until
I was close to the table.</p>
<p>As I held out my hand to him, he caught up his stick (being
infirm, he always walked about the house with a stick), and made
a blow at me, and said, “You fool!”</p>
<p>“Uncle,” I returned, “I didn’t expect
you to be so angry as this.” Nor had I expected it,
though he was a hard and angry old man.</p>
<p>“You didn’t expect!” said he; “when
did you ever expect? When did you ever calculate, or look
forward, you contemptible dog?”</p>
<p>“These are hard words, uncle!”</p>
<p>“Hard words? Feathers, to pelt such an idiot as
you with,” said he. “Here! Betsy
Snap! Look at him!”</p>
<p>Betsy Snap was a withered, hard-favoured, yellow old
woman—our only domestic—always employed, at this time
of the morning, in rubbing my uncle’s legs. As my
uncle adjured her to look at me, he put his lean grip on the
crown of her head, she kneeling beside him, and turned her face
towards me. An involuntary thought connecting them both
with the Dissecting Room, as it must often have been in the
surgeon’s time, passed across my mind in the midst of my
anxiety.</p>
<p>“Look at the snivelling milksop!” said my
uncle. “Look at the baby! This is the gentleman
who, people say, is nobody’s enemy but his own. This
is the gentleman who can’t say no. This is the
gentleman who was making such large profits in his business that
he must needs take a partner, t’other day. This is
the gentleman who is going to marry a wife without a penny, and
who falls into the hands of Jezabels who are speculating on my
death!”</p>
<p>I knew, now, how great my uncle’s rage was; for nothing
short of his being almost beside himself would have induced him
to utter that concluding word, which he held in such repugnance
that it was never spoken or hinted at before him on any
account.</p>
<p>“On my death,” he repeated, as if he were defying
me by defying his own abhorrence of the word. “On my
death—death—Death! But I’ll spoil the
speculation. Eat your last under this roof, you feeble
wretch, and may it choke you!”</p>
<p>You may suppose that I had not much appetite for the breakfast
to which I was bidden in these terms; but, I took my accustomed
seat. I saw that I was repudiated henceforth by my uncle;
still I could bear that very well, possessing Christiana’s
heart.</p>
<p>He emptied his basin of bread and milk as usual, only that he
took it on his knees with his chair turned away from the table
where I sat. When he had done, he carefully snuffed out the
candle; and the cold, slate-coloured, miserable day looked in
upon us.</p>
<p>“Now, Mr. Michael,” said he, “before we
part, I should like to have a word with these ladies in your
presence.”</p>
<p>“As you will, sir,” I returned; “but you
deceive yourself, and wrong us, cruelly, if you suppose that
there is any feeling at stake in this contract but pure,
disinterested, faithful love.”</p>
<p>To this, he only replied, “You lie!” and not one
other word.</p>
<p>We went, through half-thawed snow and half-frozen rain, to the
house where Christiana and her mother lived. My uncle knew
them very well. They were sitting at their breakfast, and
were surprised to see us at that hour.</p>
<p>“Your servant, ma’am,” said my uncle to the
mother. “You divine the purpose of my visit, I dare
say, ma’am. I understand there is a world of pure,
disinterested, faithful love cooped up here. I am happy to
bring it all it wants, to make it complete. I bring you
your son-in-law, ma’am—and you, your husband,
miss. The gentleman is a perfect stranger to me, but I wish
him joy of his wise bargain.”</p>
<p>He snarled at me as he went out, and I never saw him
again.</p>
<div class="gapspace"> </div>
<p>It is altogether a mistake (continued the poor relation) to
suppose that my dear Christiana, over-persuaded and influenced by
her mother, married a rich man, the dirt from whose carriage
wheels is often, in these changed times, thrown upon me as she
rides by. No, no. She married me.</p>
<p>The way we came to be married rather sooner than we intended,
was this. I took a frugal lodging and was saving and
planning for her sake, when, one day, she spoke to me with great
earnestness, and said:</p>
<p>“My dear Michael, I have given you my heart. I
have said that I loved you, and I have pledged myself to be your
wife. I am as much yours through all changes of good and
evil as if we had been married on the day when such words passed
between us. I know you well, and know that if we should be
separated and our union broken off, your whole life would be
shadowed, and all that might, even now, be stronger in your
character for the conflict with the world would then be weakened
to the shadow of what it is!”</p>
<p>“God help me, Christiana!” said I.
“You speak the truth.”</p>
<p>“Michael!” said she, putting her hand in mine, in
all maidenly devotion, “let us keep apart no longer.
It is but for me to say that I can live contented upon such means
as you have, and I well know you are happy. I say so from
my heart. Strive no more alone; let us strive
together. My dear Michael, it is not right that I should
keep secret from you what you do not suspect, but what distresses
my whole life. My mother: without considering that what you
have lost, you have lost for me, and on the assurance of my
faith: sets her heart on riches, and urges another suit upon me,
to my misery. I cannot bear this, for to bear it is to be
untrue to you. I would rather share your struggles than
look on. I want no better home than you can give me.
I know that you will aspire and labour with a higher courage if I
am wholly yours, and let it be so when you will!”</p>
<p>I was blest indeed, that day, and a new world opened to
me. We were married in a very little while, and I took my
wife to our happy home. That was the beginning of the
residence I have spoken of; the Castle we have ever since
inhabited together, dates from that time. All our children
have been born in it. Our first child—now
married—was a little girl, whom we called Christiana.
Her son is so like Little Frank, that I hardly know which is
which.</p>
<div class="gapspace"> </div>
<p>The current impression as to my partner’s dealings with
me is also quite erroneous. He did not begin to treat me
coldly, as a poor simpleton, when my uncle and I so fatally
quarrelled; nor did he afterwards gradually possess himself of
our business and edge me out. On the contrary, he behaved
to me with the utmost good faith and honour.</p>
<p>Matters between us took this turn:—On the day of my
separation from my uncle, and even before the arrival at our
counting-house of my trunks (which he sent after me, <i>not</i>
carriage paid), I went down to our room of business, on our
little wharf, overlooking the river; and there I told John
Spatter what had happened. John did not say, in reply, that
rich old relatives were palpable facts, and that love and
sentiment were moonshine and fiction. He addressed me
thus:</p>
<p>“Michael,” said John, “we were at school
together, and I generally had the knack of getting on better than
you, and making a higher reputation.”</p>
<p>“You had, John,” I returned.</p>
<p>“Although” said John, “I borrowed your books
and lost them; borrowed your pocket-money, and never repaid it;
got you to buy my damaged knives at a higher price than I had
given for them new; and to own to the windows that I had
broken.”</p>
<p>“All not worth mentioning, John Spatter,” said I,
“but certainly true.”</p>
<p>“When you were first established in this infant
business, which promises to thrive so well,” pursued John,
“I came to you, in my search for almost any employment, and
you made me your clerk.”</p>
<p>“Still not worth mentioning, my dear John
Spatter,” said I; “still, equally true.”</p>
<p>“And finding that I had a good head for business, and
that I was really useful <i>to</i> the business, you did not like
to retain me in that capacity, and thought it an act of justice
soon to make me your partner.”</p>
<p>“Still less worth mentioning than any of those other
little circumstances you have recalled, John Spatter,” said
I; “for I was, and am, sensible of your merits and my
deficiencies.”</p>
<p>“Now, my good friend,” said John, drawing my arm
through his, as he had had a habit of doing at school; while two
vessels outside the windows of our counting-house—which
were shaped like the stern windows of a ship—went lightly
down the river with the tide, as John and I might then be sailing
away in company, and in trust and confidence, on our voyage of
life; “let there, under these friendly circumstances, be a
right understanding between us. You are too easy,
Michael. You are nobody’s enemy but your own.
If I were to give you that damaging character among our
connexion, with a shrug, and a shake of the head, and a sigh; and
if I were further to abuse the trust you place in
me—”</p>
<p>“But you never will abuse it at all, John,” I
observed.</p>
<p>“Never!” said he; “but I am putting a
case—I say, and if I were further to abuse that trust by
keeping this piece of our common affairs in the dark, and this
other piece in the light, and again this other piece in the
twilight, and so on, I should strengthen my strength, and weaken
your weakness, day by day, until at last I found myself on the
high road to fortune, and you left behind on some bare common, a
hopeless number of miles out of the way.”</p>
<p>“Exactly so,” said I.</p>
<p>“To prevent this, Michael,” said John Spatter,
“or the remotest chance of this, there must be perfect
openness between us. Nothing must be concealed, and we must
have but one interest.”</p>
<p>“My dear John Spatter,” I assured him, “that
is precisely what I mean.”</p>
<p>“And when you are too easy,” pursued John, his
face glowing with friendship, “you must allow me to prevent
that imperfection in your nature from being taken advantage of,
by any one; you must not expect me to humour it—”</p>
<p>“My dear John Spatter,” I interrupted, “I
<i>don’t</i> expect you to humour it. I want to
correct it.”</p>
<p>“And I, too,” said John.</p>
<p>“Exactly so!” cried I. “We both have
the same end in view; and, honourably seeking it, and fully
trusting one another, and having but one interest, ours will be a
prosperous and happy partnership.”</p>
<p>“I am sure of it!” returned John Spatter.
And we shook hands most affectionately.</p>
<p>I took John home to my Castle, and we had a very happy
day. Our partnership throve well. My friend and
partner supplied what I wanted, as I had foreseen that he would,
and by improving both the business and myself, amply acknowledged
any little rise in life to which I had helped him.</p>
<div class="gapspace"> </div>
<p>I am not (said the poor relation, looking at the fire as he
slowly rubbed his hands) very rich, for I never cared to be that;
but I have enough, and am above all moderate wants and
anxieties. My Castle is not a splendid place, but it is
very comfortable, and it has a warm and cheerful air, and is
quite a picture of Home.</p>
<p>Our eldest girl, who is very like her mother, married John
Spatter’s eldest son. Our two families are closely
united in other ties of attachment. It is very pleasant of
an evening, when we are all assembled together—which
frequently happens—and when John and I talk over old times,
and the one interest there has always been between us.</p>
<p>I really do not know, in my Castle, what loneliness is.
Some of our children or grandchildren are always about it, and
the young voices of my descendants are delightful—O, how
delightful!—to me to hear. My dearest and most
devoted wife, ever faithful, ever loving, ever helpful and
sustaining and consoling, is the priceless blessing of my house;
from whom all its other blessings spring. We are rather a
musical family, and when Christiana sees me, at any time, a
little weary or depressed, she steals to the piano and sings a
gentle air she used to sing when we were first betrothed.
So weak a man am I, that I cannot bear to hear it from any other
source. They played it once, at the Theatre, when I was
there with Little Frank; and the child said wondering,
“Cousin Michael, whose hot tears are these that have fallen
on my hand!”</p>
<p>Such is my Castle, and such are the real particulars of my
life therein preserved. I often take Little Frank home
there. He is very welcome to my grandchildren, and they
play together. At this time of the year—the Christmas
and New Year time—I am seldom out of my Castle. For,
the associations of the season seem to hold me there, and the
precepts of the season seem to teach me that it is well to be
there.</p>
<div class="gapspace"> </div>
<p>“And the Castle is—” observed a grave, kind
voice among the company.</p>
<p>“Yes. My Castle,” said the poor relation,
shaking his head as he still looked at the fire, “is in the
Air. John our esteemed host suggests its situation
accurately. My Castle is in the Air! I have
done. Will you be so good as to pass the story?”</p>
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