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Art of Conversation: Twelve Golden Rules

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<h2>GOLDEN RULE NUMBER IV</h2> Do not contradict another, especially when the subject under discussion is of trivial importance. He.—We always seem to drift back to our favorite topic, "How not to bore." At least, we discuss it so frequently, that I assume we are mutually interested. She.—I assure you that I am very much interested in everything that assists me in making myself more pleasing to my friends. He.—If you would not regard my compliments so dubiously, I should say that that would be impossible. She.—Another case of the infallibility of the queen? But to go back to our subject, I often wonder whether this pleasure that we take in receiving the approval of others, is not virtually the root of all good. It is certainly most fortunate that we do care for the good opinion of our fellow-beings, and especially where we strive to merit it. [Pg 21] Somehow, we never seem to outgrow our childish love for rewards. I suppose that if the truth were told, much that we think we do for the sake of culture, is really done for the sake of Dame Grundy. Of course, I do not mean as applied to vain self-glorification, but rather to our higher aims and purposes. Most of us, for example, think that we make great efforts along the lines of self-improvement for the soul-satisfaction that our efforts may give us; but I wonder how steadfastly one would work—each at his chosen calling—if one were on a desert island, remote from "all the haunts of men." But to return to our subject, you say that your latest discovery is that even grown persons contradict one another. I thought that only children had this fault. He.—So did I; but my attention was called to this a few days since when visiting my sister. While she was telling me something of great interest to us both, her little daughter contradicted her several times in the course of our conversation. Partly because I was annoyed, and partly because I wished to teach the child a lesson, I said to my sister, "Have you ever noticed how frequently children contradict their elders? It is certainly one of the greatest faults that a[Pg 22] child can have." "Yes," she answered, "but many grown persons have the same fault." And when I expressed surprise, she added, "If you are inclined to doubt the truth of this assertion, just try to tell something in the hearing of others who are familiar with the story, and you will soon discern that the fault is not confined to children." And then I discovered this fault not only in others, but also in myself. She.—Oh, dear! maybe I, too, am guilty of the same offence. He.—I am sure that you never contradict any one in the way that I mean. It is certainly very embarrassing to make a statement, and then to have it contradicted, even though the matter is of little consequence. She.—How many rules have we learned so far? He.—Golden Rule Number I. is: "Avoid unnecessary details." Rule Number II.: "Do not ask question number two until number one has been answered"; do not be too curious nor too disinterested; that is, do not ask too many questions nor too few; just enough. Rule Number III.: Do not interrupt another while he is speaking. She.—And our new rule, Golden Rule Number[Pg 23] IV.: Do not contradict another, especially when the subject under discussion is one of trivial importance. He.—So, if Mrs. Van Stretcher tells us that Mrs. De Waters has crossed the ocean a dozen times in as many years, we are not to say, "Pardon us, only six, as she goes abroad only once in two years, which makes just—Oh, yes! just twelve times." She.—Yes, the person who contradicts, frequently restates the matter merely in another way. <hr /> [Pg 24] <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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