<SPAN name="startofbook"></SPAN>
<h4>THE</h4>
<h1>BUSIE BODY:</h1>
<h4>A</h4>
<div class = "biggest">COMEDY.</div>
<hr class = "smaller">
<h4><i>Written by Mrs.</i> <span class = "smallcaps">Susanna
Centlivre</span>.</h4>
<hr class = "smaller">
<table align = "center">
<tr>
<td class = "cast">
<div class = "verse">
Quem tulit ad scenam ventoso Gloria curru,<br/>
Exanimat lentus Spectator, sedulus inflat.<br/>
Sic Leve, sic parvum est, animum quod laudis avarum<br/>
Subruit aut reficit—</div>
<p align = "right">
Horat. Epist. Lib. II. Ep. 1.</p>
</td>
</tr>
</table>
<hr>
<h5><SPAN name="dedic">TO THE</SPAN></h5>
<h4>RIGHT HONOURABLE</h4>
<h3><i>JOHN</i> Lord <i>SOMMERS</i>,</h3>
<h4>Lord-President of <SPAN class = "hajesty" href =
"images/salutation.jpg">Her <span class =
"smallcaps">Hajesty</span>'s</SPAN> most<br/>
Honourable Privy-Council.</h4>
<br/>
<p><i>May it please Your Lordship,</i></p>
<p><span class = "firstletter">A</span>S it's an Establish'd Custom in
these latter Ages, for all Writers, particularly the Poetical, to
shelter their Productions under the Protection of the most
Distinguish'd, whose Approbation produces a kind of Inspiration, much
superior to that which the <i>Heathenish</i> Poets pretended to derive
from their Fictitious <i>Apollo</i>: So it was my Ambition to Address
one of my weak Performances to Your Lordship, who, by Universal Consent,
are justly allow'd to be the best Judge of all kinds of Writing.</p>
<p>I was indeed at first deterr'd from my Design, by a Thought that it
might be accounted unpardonable Rudeness to obtrude a Trifle of this
Nature to a Person, whose sublime Wisdom moderates that Council, which
at this Critical Juncture, over-rules the Fate of all <i>Europe</i>. But
then I was encourag'd by Reflecting, that <i>Lelius</i> and
<i>Scipio</i>, the two greatest Men in their Time, among the
<i>Romans</i>, both for Political and Military Virtues, in the height of
their important Affairs, thought the Perusal and Improving of
<i>Terence</i>'s Comedies the noblest way of Unbinding their Minds. I
own I were guilty of the highest Vanity, should I presume to put my
Composures in Parallel with those of that Celebrated <i>Dramatist</i>.
But then again, I hope that Your Lordship's native Goodness and
Generosity, in Condescension to the Taste of the Best and Fairest part
of the Town, who have been pleas'd to be diverted by the following <span
class = "smallcaps">Scenes</span>, will excuse and overlook such Faults
as your nicer Judgment might discern.</p>
<p>And here, my Lord, the Occasion seems fair for me to engage in a
Panegyrick upon those Natural and Acquired Abilities, which so brightly
Adorn your Person: But I shall resist that Temptation, being conscious
of the Inequality of a Female Pen to so Masculine an Attempt; and having
no other Ambition, than to Subscribe my self,</p>
<table align = "center">
<tr>
<td class = "dedic" colspan = "4">My Lord,</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class = "filler"> </td>
<td class = "dedic" colspan = "3">Your Lordship's</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class = "filler"> </td>
<td class = "filler"> </td>
<td class = "dedic" colspan = "2">Most Humble and</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class = "filler"> </td>
<td class = "filler"> </td>
<td class = "filler"> </td>
<td class = "dedic">Most Obedient Servant,</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class = "filler"> </td>
<td class = "filler"> </td>
<td class = "dedic" colspan = "2"><span class = "smallcaps">Susanna
Centlivre.</span></td>
</tr>
</table>
<hr>
<h1><SPAN name="prologue">PROLOGUE.</SPAN></h1>
<h4><i>By the Author of</i>
<span class = "smallcaps">Tunbridge-Walks</span>.</h4>
<div class = "verse">
<span class = "secondletter">T</span>HO' modern Prophets
were expos'd of late,<br/>
The Author cou'd not Prophesie his Fate;<br/>
If with such Scenes an Audience had been Fir'd,<br/>
The Poet must have really been Inspir'd.<br/>
But these, alas! are Melancholy Days<br/>
For Modern Prophets, and for Modern Plays.<br/>
Yet since Prophetick Lyes please Fools o'Fashion,<br/>
And Women are so fond of Agitation;<br/>
To Men of Sense, I'll Prophesie anew,<br/>
And tell you wond'rous things, that will prove true:</div>
<div class = "plainverse">
Undaunted Collonels will to Camps repair,<br/>
Assur'd, there'll be no Skirmishes this Year;</div>
<div class = "verse">
On our own Terms will flow the wish'd-for Peace,<br/>
All Wars, except 'twixt Man and Wife, will cease.<br/>
The Grand Monarch may wish his Son a Throne,<br/>
But hardly will advance to lose his own.<br/>
This Season most things bear a smiling Face;<br/>
But Play'rs in Summer have a dismal Case,<br/>
Since your Appearance only is our Act of Grace.<br/>
Court Ladies will to Country Seats be gone,<br/>
My Lord can't all the Year live Great in Town,<br/>
Where wanting <span class = "charname">Opera's</span>, <span class =
"charname">Basset</span>, and a <span class =
"charname">Play</span>,<br/>
They'll Sigh and stitch a Gown, to pass the time away.<br/>
Gay City-Wives at <span class = "charname">Tunbridge</span> will
appear,<br/>
Whose Husbands long have laboured for an Heir;<br/>
Where many a Courtier may their Wants relieve,<br/>
But by the Waters only they Conceive.<br/>
The <span class = "charname">Fleet-street</span> Sempstress—Toast
of <span class = "charname">Temple</span> Sparks,<br/>
That runs Spruce Neckcloths for Attorney's Clerks;<br/>
At <span class = "charname">Cupid</span>'s <span class =
"charname">Gardens</span> will her Hours regale,<br/>
Sing fair <span class = "charname">Dorinda</span>, and drink Bottl'd
Ale.<br/>
At all Assemblies, Rakes are up and down,<br/>
And Gamesters, where they think they are not known.</div>
<div class = "verse1">
Shou'd I denounce our Author's fate to Day,<br/>
To cry down Prophecies, you'd damn the Play:<br/>
Yet Whims like these have sometimes made you Laugh;<br/>
'Tis Tattling all, like <span class = "charname">Isaac
Bickerstaff</span>.</div>
<div class = "verse1">
Since War, and Places claim the Bards that write,<br/>
Be kind, and bear a Woman's Treat to-Night;<br/>
Let your Indulgence all her Fears allay,<br/>
And none but Woman-Haters damn this Play.</div>
<hr>
<h1><SPAN name="cast">Dramatis Personæ.</SPAN></h1>
<h4>MEN.</h4>
<table>
<tr>
<td class = "cast">
Sir <i>George Airy</i>. A Gentleman of Four Thousand a Year
in Love with <i>Miranda</i></td>
<td class = "actors">
Acted by<br/>
Mr. <i>Wilks</i>.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class = "cast">
Sir <i>Francis Gripe</i>. Guardian to <i>Miranda</i> and <i>Marplot</i>,
Father to <i>Charles</i>, in Love with <i>Miranda</i>.
</td>
<td class = "actors">
Mr. <i>Estcourt</i>.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class = "cast">
<i>Charles</i>. Friend to <i>Sir George</i>,
in Love with <i>Isabinda</i>.
</td>
<td class = "actors">
Mr. <i>Mills</i>.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class = "cast">
Sir <i>Jealous Traffick</i>. A Merchant that had liv'd sometime in
<i>Spain</i>, a great Admirer of the <i>Spanish</i> Customs,
Father to <i>Isabinda</i>.
</td>
<td class = "actors">
Mr. <i>Bullock</i>.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class = "cast">
<i>Marplot</i>. A sort of a silly Fellow, Cowardly, but very Inquisitive
to know every Body's Business, generally spoils all he undertakes, yet
without Design.
</td>
<td class = "actors">
Mr. <i>Pack</i>.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class = "cast">
<i>Whisper</i>. Servant to <i>Charles</i>.
</td>
<td class = "actors">
Mr. <i>Bullock</i> jun.</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br/>
<h4>WOMEN.</h4>
<table>
<tr>
<td class = "cast">
<i>Miranda</i>. An Heiress, worth Thirty Thousand Pound, really in Love
with Sir <i>George</i>, but pretends to be so with her Guardian Sir
<i>Francis</i>.
</td>
<td class = "actors">
Mrs. <i>Cross</i>.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class = "cast">
<i>Isabinda</i>. Daughter to Sir <i>Jealous</i>, in Love with
<i>Charles</i>, but design'd for a <i>Spanish</i> Merchant by her
Father, and kept up from the sight of all Men.
</td>
<td class = "actors">
Mrs. <i>Rogers</i>.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class = "cast">
<i>Patch</i>. Her Woman.
</td>
<td class = "actors">
Mrs. <i>Saunders</i>.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class = "cast">
<i>Scentwell</i>. Woman to <i>Miranda</i>.
</td>
<td class = "actors">
Mrs. <i>Mills</i>.</td>
</tr>
</table>
<hr>
<span class = "pagenum">1</span>
<span class = "folionum">B</span>
<h3>THE</h3>
<h1>BUSIE BODY.</h1>
<div class = "act"><SPAN name="actI">ACT I. SCENE <i>The
Park</i>.</SPAN></div>
<div class = "scenedesc">Sir <span class = "charname">George Airy</span>
meeting <span class = "charname">Charles</span>.</div>
<p><i>Cha.</i><br/>
<span class = "firstletter">H</span>A!
Sir <i>George Airy!</i> A Birding thus early, what forbidden Game rouz'd
you so soon? For no lawful Occasion cou'd invite a Person of your Figure
abroad at such unfashionable Hours.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> There are some Men, <i>Charles</i>, whom Fortune has
left free from Inquietudes, who are diligently Studious to find out Ways
and Means to make themselves uneasie.</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> Is it possible that any thing in Nature can ruffle the
Temper of a Man, whom the four Seasons of the Year compliment with as
many Thousand Pounds, nay! and a Father at Rest with his Ancestors.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Why there 'tis now! a Man that wants Money thinks
none can be unhappy that has it; but my Affairs are in such a whimsical
Posture, that it will require a Calculation of my Nativity to find if my
Gold will relieve me or not.</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> Ha, ha, ha, never consult the Stars about that; Gold has
a Power beyond them; Gold unlocks the Midnight Councils; Gold out-does
the Wind, becalms the Ship, or fills her Sails; Gold is omnipotent
below; it makes whole Armies fight, or fly; It buys even Souls, and
bribes the Wretches to
<span class = "pagenum">2</span>
betray their Country: Then what can thy Business be, that Gold won't
serve thee in?</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Why, I'm in Love.</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> In Love— Ha, ha, ha, ha; In Love, Ha, ha, ha, with
what, prithee, a <i>Cherubin!</i></p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> No, with a Woman.</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> A Woman, Good, Ha, ha, ha, and Gold not help thee?</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> But suppose I'm in Love with two—</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> Ay, if thou'rt in Love with two hundred, Gold will fetch
'em, I warrant thee, Boy. But who are they? who are they? come.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> One is a Lady, whose Face I never saw, but Witty as
an Angel; the other Beautiful as <i>Venus</i>—</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> And a Fool—</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> For ought I know, for I never spoke to her, but you
can inform me; I am charm'd by the Wit of One, and dye for the Beauty of
the Other?</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> And pray, which are you in Quest of now?</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> I prefer the Sensual Pleasure, I'm for her I've seen,
who is thy Father's Ward <i>Miranda</i>.</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> Nay then, I pity you; for the Jew my Father will no more
part with her, and 30000 Pound, than he wou'd with a Guinea to keep me
from starving.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Now you see Gold can't do every thing,
<i>Charles</i>.</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> Yes, for 'tis her Gold that bars my Father's Gate against
you.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Why, if he is this avaricious Wretch, how cam'st thou
by such a Liberal Education?</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> Not a Souse out of his Pocket, I assure you; I had an
Uncle who defray'd that Charge, but for some litte Wildnesses of Youth,
tho' he made me his Heir, left Dad my Guardian till I came to Years of
Discretion, which I presume the old Gentleman will never think I am; and
now he has got the Estate into his Clutches, it does me no more good,
than if it lay in <i>Prester John</i>'s Dominions.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> What can'st thou find no Stratagem to redeem it?</p>
<p><span class = "pagenum">3</span>
<span class = "folionum">B2</span>
<i>Cha.</i> I have made many Essays to no purpose; tho' Want, the
Mistress of Invention, still tempts me on, yet still the old Fox is too
cunning for me— I am upon my last Project, which if it fails, then
for my last Refuge, a Brown Musquet.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> What is't, can I assist thee?</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> Not yet, when you can, I have Confidence enough in you to
ask it.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> I am always ready, but what do's he intend to do with
<i>Miranda?</i> Is she to be sold in private? or will he put her up by
way of Auction, at who bids most? If so, Egad, I'm for him: my Gold, as
you say, shall be subservient to my Pleasure.</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> To deal ingeniously with you, Sir <i>George</i>, I know
very little of Her, or Home; for since my Uncle's Death, and my Return
from Travel, I have never been well with my Father; he thinks my
Expences too great, and I his Allowance too little; he never sees me,
but he quarrels; and to avoid that, I shun his House as much as
possible. The Report is, he intends to marry her himself.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Can she consent to it?</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> Yes faith, so they say; but I tell you, I am wholly
ignorant of the matter. <i>Miranda</i> and I are like two violent
Members of a contrary Party, I can scarce allow her Beauty, tho' all the
World do's; nor she me Civility, for that Contempt, I fancy she plays
the Mother-in-law already, and sets the old Gentleman on to do
mischief.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Then I've your free Consent to get her.</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> Ay and my helping-hand, if occasion be.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Pugh, yonder's a Fool coming this way, let's avoid
him.</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> What <i>Marplot</i>, no no, he's my Instrument; there's a
thousand Conveniences in him, he'll lend me his Money when he has any,
run of my Errands and be proud on't; in short, he'll Pimp for me, Lye
for me, Drink for me, do any thing but Fight for me, and that I trust to
my own Arm for.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Nay then he's to be endur'd; I never knew his
Qualifications before.</p>
<span class = "pagenum">4</span>
<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class = "charname">Marplot</span>
with a Patch cross his Face.</div>
<p><i>Marpl.</i> Dear <i>Charles</i>, your's,— Ha! Sir <i>George
Airy</i>, the Man in the World, I have an Ambition to be known to
<span class = "insetdir">(aside.)</span> Give me thy Hand, dear
Boy—</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> A good Assurance! But heark ye, how came your Beautiful
Countenance clouded in the wrong place?</p>
<p><i>Marpl.</i> I must confess 'tis a little <i>Mal-a-propos</i>, but
no matter for that; a Word with you, <i>Charles</i>; Prithee, introduce
me to Sir <i>George</i>— he is a Man of Wit, and I'd give ten
Guinea's to—</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> When you have 'em, you mean.</p>
<p><i>Marpl.</i> Ay, when I have 'em; pugh, pox, you cut the Thread of
my Discourse— I wou'd give ten Guinea's, I say, to be rank'd in his
Acquaintance: Well, 'tis a vast Addition to a Man's Fortune, according
to the Rout of the World, to be seen in the Company of Leading Men; for
then we are all thought to be Politicians, or Whigs, or Jacks, or
High-Flyers, or Low-Flyers, or Levellers—and so forth; for you
must know, we all herd in Parties now.</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> Then a Fool for Diversion is out of Fashion, I find.</p>
<p><i>Marpl.</i> Yes, without it be a mimicking Fool, and they are
Darlings every where; but prithee introduce me.</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> Well, on Condition you'll give us a true Account how you
came by that Mourning Nose, I will.</p>
<p><i>Marpl.</i> I'll do it.</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> Sir <i>George</i>, here's a Gentleman has a passionate
Desire to kiss your Hand.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Oh, I honour Men of the Sword, and I presume this
Gentleman is lately come from <i>Spain</i> or <i>Portugal</i>—by
his Scars.</p>
<p><i>Marpl.</i> No really, Sir <i>George</i>, mine sprung from civil
Fury, happening last Night into the Groom-Porters—I had a strong
Inclination to go ten Guineas with a sort of a, sort of a—kind of
a Milk Sop, as I thought: A Pox of the Dice he flung out, and my Pockets
being empty as <i>Charles</i>
<span class = "pagenum">5</span>
knows they sometimes are, he prov'd a surly <i>North-Britain</i>, and
broke my Face for my Deficiency.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ha! ha! and did not you draw?</p>
<p><i>Marpl.</i> Draw, Sir, why, I did but lay my Hand upon my Sword to
make a swift Retreat, and he roar'd out. Now the Deel a Ma sol, Sir, gin
ye touch yer Steel, Ise whip mine through yer Wem.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ha, ha, ha,</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> Ha, ha, ha, ha, fase was the Word, so you walk'd off, I
suppose.</p>
<p><i>Marp.</i> Yes, for I avoid fighting, purely to be serviceable to
my Friends you know—</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Your Friends are much oblig'd to you, Sir, I hope
you'll rank me in that Number.</p>
<p><i>Marpl.</i> Sir <i>George</i>, a Bow from the side Box, or to be
seen in your Chariot, binds me ever yours.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Trifles, you may command 'em when you please.</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> Provided he may command you—</p>
<p><i>Marpl.</i> Me! why I live for no other purpose— Sir
<i>George</i>, I have the Honour to be carest by most of the reigning
Toasts of the Town, I'll tell 'em you are the finest
Gentleman—</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> No, no, prithee let me alone to tell the
Ladies—my Parts—can you convey a Letter upon Occasion, or
deliver a Message with an Air of Business, Ha!</p>
<p><i>Marpl.</i> With the Assurance of a Page and the Gravity of a
Statesman.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> You know <i>Miranda!</i></p>
<p><i>Marpl.</i> What, my Sister <i>Ward?</i> Why, her Guardian is mine,
we are Fellow Sufferers: Ah! he is a covetous, cheating, sanctify'd
Curmudgeon; that Sir <i>Francis Gripe</i> is a damn'd old—</p>
<p><i>Char.</i> I suppose, Friend, you forget that he is my
Father—</p>
<p><i>Marpl.</i> I ask your Pardon, <i>Charles</i>, but it is for your
sake I hate him. Well, I say, the World is mistaken in him, his Out-side
Piety, makes him every Man's Executor, and his Inside Cunning, makes him
every Heir's Jaylor. Egad, <i>Charles</i>, I'm half persuaded that
thou'rt some <i>Ward</i> too, and never of
<span class = "pagenum">6</span>
his getting: For thou art as honest a Debauchee as ever Cuckolded Man of
Quality.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> A pleasant Fellow.</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> The Dog is Diverting sometimes, or there wou'd be no
enduring his Impertinence: He is pressing to be employ'd and willing to
execute, but some ill Fate generally attends all he undertakes, and he
oftner spoils an Intreague than helps it—</p>
<p><i>Marpl.</i> If I miscarry 'tis none of my Fault, I follow my
Instructions.</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> Yes, witness the Merchant's Wife.</p>
<p><i>Marpl.</i> Pish, Pox, that was an Accident.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> What was it, prithee?</p>
<p><i>Ch.</i> Why, you must know, I had lent a certain Merchant my
hunting Horses, and was to have met his Wife in his Absence: Sending him
along with my Groom to make the Complement, and to deliver a Letter to
the Lady at the same time; what does he do, but gives the Husband the
Letter, and offers her the Horses.</p>
<p><i>Marpl.</i> I remember you was even with me, for you deny'd the
Letter to be yours, and swore I had a design upon her, which my Bones
paid for.</p>
<p><i>Cha.</i> Come, Sir <i>George</i>, let's walk round, if you are not
ingag'd, for I have sent my Man upon a little earnest Business, and have
order'd him to bring me the Answer into the Park.</p>
<p><i>Marpl.</i> Business, and I not know it, Egad I'll watch him.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> I must beg your Pardon, <i>Charles</i>, I am to meet
your Father here.</p>
<p><i>Ch.</i> My Father!</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Aye! and about the oddest Bargain perhaps you ever
heard off; but I'll not impart till I know the Success.</p>
<p><i>Marpl.</i> What can his Business be with Sir <i>Francis?</i> Now
wou'd I give all the World to know it; why the Devil should not one know
every Man's Concern.</p>
<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div>
<p><i>Cha.</i> Prosperity to't whate'er it be, I have private Affairs
too; over a Bottle we'll compare Notes.</p>
<p><span class = "pagenum">7</span>
<i>Marpl. Charles</i> knows I love a Glass as well as any Man,
I'll make one; shall it be to Night? <ins class = "correction" title =
"correct as printed">Ad</ins> I long to know their Secrets.</p>
<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div>
<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class =
"charname">Whisper</span>.</div>
<p><i>Whis.</i> Sir, Sir, Mis <i>Patch</i> says, <i>Isabinda</i>'s
Spanish Father has quite spoil'd the Plot, and she can't meet you in the
Park, but he infallibly will go out this Afternoon, she says; but I must
step again to know the Hour.</p>
<p><i>Marpl.</i> What did <i>Whisper</i> say now? I shall go stark Mad,
if I'm not let into this Secret.</p>
<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div>
<p><i>Cha.</i> Curst Misfortune, come along with me, my Heart feels
Pleasure at her Name. Sir <i>George</i>, yours; we'll meet at the old
place the usual Hour.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Agreed; I think I see Sir <i>Francis</i> yonder.</p>
<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div>
<p><i>Cha. Marplot</i>, you must excuse me, I am engag'd.</p>
<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div>
<p><i>Marpl.</i> Engag'd, Egad I'll engage my Life, I'll know what your
Engagement is.</p>
<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div>
<p><i>Miran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Coming out of a
Chair.)</span>
Let the Chair wait: My Servant, That dog'd Sir <i>George</i> said he was
in the Park.</p>
<div class = "entrance">Enter <span class =
"charname">Patch</span>.</div>
<p>Ha! Mis <i>Patch</i> alone, did not you tell me you had contriv'd a
way to bring <i>Isabinda</i> to the Park?</p>
<p><i>Patch.</i> Oh, Madam, your Ladiship can't imagine what a wretched
Disappointment we have met with: Just as I had fetch'd a Suit of my
Cloaths for a Disguise: comes my old Master into his Closet, which is
right against her Chamber Door; this struck us into a terrible
Fright— At length I put on a Grave Face, and ask'd him if he was at
leisure for his Chocolate, in hopes to draw him out of his Hole; but he
snap'd my Nose off, No, I shall be busie here this two Hours; at which
my poor Mistress seeing no way of Escape, order'd me to wait on your
Ladiship with the sad Relation.</p>
<p><i>Miran.</i> Unhappy <i>Isabinda!</i> Was ever any thing so
unaccountable as the Humour of Sir <i><ins class = "correction" title =
"so in original">Jealousie</ins> Traffick</i>.</p>
<p><span class = "pagenum">8</span>
<i>Patch.</i> Oh, Madam, it's his living so long in <i>Spain</i>, he
vows he'll spend half his Estate, but he'll be a Parliament-Man, on
purpose to bring in a Bill for Women to wear Veils, and the other odious
<i>Spanish</i> Customs— He swears it is the height of Impudence to
have a Woman seen Bare-fac'd even at Church, and scarce believes there's
a true begotten Child in the City.</p>
<p><i>Miran.</i> Ha, ha, ha, how the old Fool torments himself! Suppose
he could introduce his rigid Rules—does he think we cou'd not
match them in Contrivance? No, no; Let the Tyrant Man make what Laws he
will, if there's a Woman under the Government, I warrant she finds a way
to break 'em: Is his Mind set upon the <i>Spaniard</i> for his
Son-in-law still?</p>
<p><i>Patch.</i> Ay, and he expects him by the next Fleet, which drives
his Daughter to Melancholy and Despair: But, Madam, I find you retain
the same gay, cheerful Spirit you had, when I waited on your
Ladiship.— My Lady is mighty good-humour'd too, and I have found a
way to make Sir <ins class = "correction" title =
"so in original"><i>Jealousie</i></ins> believe I am wholly in his
Interest, when my real Design is to serve her; he makes me her Jaylor,
and I set her at Liberty.</p>
<p><i>Miran.</i> I know thy Prolifick Brain wou'd be of singular Service
to her, or I had not parted with thee to her Father.</p>
<p><i>Patch.</i> But, Madam, the Report is that you are going to marry
your Guardian.</p>
<p><i>Miran.</i> It is necessary such a Report shou'd be,
<i>Patch</i>.</p>
<p><i>Patch.</i> But is it true, Madam?</p>
<p><i>Miran.</i> That's not absolutely necessary.</p>
<p><i>Patch.</i> I thought it was only the old Strain, coaxing him still
for your own, and railing at all the young Fellows about Town; in my
Mind now, you are as ill plagu'd with your Guardian, Madam, as my Lady
is with her Father.</p>
<p><i>Miran.</i> No, I have Liberty, Wench, that she wants; what would
she give now to be in this <i>dissabilee</i> in the—open Air, nay
more, in pursuit of the young Fellow she likes; for that's my Case, I
assure thee.</p>
<p><i>Patch.</i> As for that, Madam, she's even with you; for tho'
<span class = "pagenum">9</span>
<span class = "folionum">C</span>
she can't come abroad, we have a way to bring him home in spight of old
<i>Argus</i>.</p>
<p><i>Miran.</i> Now <i>Patch</i>, your Opinion of my Choice, for here
he comes— Ha! my Guardian with him; what can be the meaning of
this? I'm sure Sir <i>Francis</i> can't know me in this
Dress— Let's observe 'em.</p>
<div class = "stagedir">(They withdraw.</div>
<div class = "entrance">Enter Sir <span class = "charname">Francis
Gripe</span> and Sir <span class = "charname">George Airy</span>.</div>
<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Verily, Sir <i>George</i>, thou wilt repent throwing
away thy Money so, for I tell thee sincerely, <i>Miranda</i>, my Charge
do's not love a young Fellow, they are all vicious, and seldom make good
Husbands; in sober Sadness she cannot abide 'em.</p>
<p><i>Miran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Peeping.)</span> In sober
Sadness you are mistaken—what can this mean?</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Look ye, Sir <i>Francis</i>, whether she can or
cannot abide young Fellows is not the Business; will you take the fifty
Guineas?</p>
<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> In good truth— I will not, for I knew thy
Father, he was a hearty wary Man, and I cannot consent that his Son
should squander away what he sav'd, to no purpose.</p>
<p><i>Mirand.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Peeping.)</span> Now, in the
Name of Wonder, what
Bargain can he be driving about me for fifty Guineas?</p>
<p><i>Patch.</i> I wish it ben't for the first Night's Lodging,
Madam.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Well, Sir <i>Francis</i>, since you are so
conscientious for my Father's sake, then permit me the Favour,
<i>Gratis</i>.</p>
<p><i>Miran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Peeping.)</span> The Favour!
Oh my Life! I believe
'tis as you said, <i>Patch</i>.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> No verily, if thou dost not buy thy Experience, thou
wou'd never be wise; therefore give me a Hundred and try Fortune.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> The Scruples arose, I find, from the scanty
Sum— Let me see—a Hundred Guineas— <span class =
"insetdir">(Takes 'em out of
a Purse and chinks 'em.)</span> Ha! they have a very pretty Sound, and a
very pleasing Look— But then, <i>Miranda</i>— But if she
should be cruel—</p>
<p><i>Miran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Peeping.)</span> As Ten to
One I shall—</p>
<p><span class = "pagenum">10</span>
Sir <i>Fran.</i> Ay, do consider on't, He, he, he, he.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> No, I'll do't.</p>
<p><i>Patch.</i> Do't, what, whether you will or no, Madam?</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Come to the Point, here's the Gold, sum up the
Conditions—</p>
<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Pulling out a
Paper.)</span></p>
<p><i>Miran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Peeping.)</span> Ay for
Heaven's sake do, for my
Expectation is on the Rack.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Well at your own Peril be it.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Aye, aye, go on.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Fran. Imprimis</i>, you are to be admitted into my
House in order to move your Suit to <i>Miranda</i>, for the space of Ten
Minutes, without Lett or Molestation, provided I remain in the same
Room.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> But out of Ear shot—</p>
<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Well, well, I don't desire to hear what you say, Ha,
ha, ha, in consideration I am to have that Purse and a hundred
Guineas.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Take it—</p>
<div class = "stagedir">(Gives him the Purse.</div>
<p><i>Miran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Peeping.)</span> So, 'tis
well it's no worse, I'll fit
you both—</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> And this Agreement is to be perform'd to Day.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Fran.</i> Aye, aye, the sooner the better, poor Fool, how
<i>Miranda</i> and I shall laugh at him— Well, Sir <i>George</i>,
Ha, ha, ha, take the last sound of your Guineas, Ha, ha, ha.</p>
<div class = "stagedir"><span class = "stagedir">(Chinks
'em.)</span>(Exit.</div>
<p><i>Miran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Peeping.)</span> Sure he does
not know I am
<i>Miranda</i>.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> A very extraordinary Bargain I have made truly, if
she should be really in Love with this old Cuff now— Psha, that's
morally impossible—but then what hopes have I to succeed, I never
spoke to her—</p>
<p><i>Miran.</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Peeping.)</span> Say you so?
Then I am safe.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> What tho' my Tongue never spoke, my Eyes said a
thousand Things, and my Hopes flatter'd me hers answer'd 'em. If I'm
lucky—if not, 'tis but a hundred Guineas thrown away.</p>
<div class = "stagedir">(<span class = "charname">Miranda</span> and
<span class = "charname">Patch</span> come forwards.</div>
<p><i>Miran.</i> Upon what Sir <i>George?</i></p>
<p><span class = "pagenum">11</span>
<span class = "folionum">C2</span>
Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ha! my <i>Incognito</i>—upon a Woman, Madam.</p>
<p><i>Miran.</i> They are the worst Things you can deal in, and damage
the soonest; your very Breath destroys 'em, and I fear you'll never see
your Return, Sir <i>George</i>, Ha, ha!</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Were they more brittle than <i>China</i>, and drop'd
to pieces with a Touch, every Atom of her I have ventur'd at, if she is
but Mistress of thy Wit, ballances Ten times the Sum— Prithee let
me see thy Face.</p>
<p><i>Miran.</i> By no means, that may spoil your Opinion of my
Sense—</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Rather confirm it, Madam.</p>
<p><i>Patch.</i> So rob the Lady of your Gallantry, Sir.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> No Child, a Dish of Chocolate in the Morning never
spoils my Dinner; the other Lady, I design a set Meal; so there's no
danger—</p>
<p><i>Miran.</i> Matrimony! Ha, ha, ha; what Crimes have you committed
against the God of Love, that he should revenge 'em so severely to stamp
Husband upon your Forehead—</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> For my Folly in having so often met you here, without
pursuing the Laws of Nature, and exercising her command— But I
resolve e'er we part now, to know who you are, where you live, and what
kind of Flesh and Blood your Face is; therefore unmask and don't put me
to the trouble of doing it for you.</p>
<p><i>Miran.</i> My Face is the same Flesh and Blood with my Hand, Sir
<i>George</i>, which if you'll be so rude to provoke.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> You'll apply it to my Cheek— The Ladies Favours
are always Welcome; but I must have that Cloud withdrawn. <span class =
"insetdir">(Taking
hold of her.)</span> Remember you are in the <i>Park</i>, Child, and
what a terrible thing would it be to lose this pretty white Hand.</p>
<p><i>Miran.</i> And how will it sound in a <i>Chocolate-House</i>, that
Sir <i>George Airy</i> rudely pull'd off a Ladies Mask, when he had
given her his Honour, that he never would, directly or indirectly
endeavour to know her till she gave him Leave.</p>
<p><i>Patch.</i> I wish we were safe out.</p>
<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> But if that Lady thinks fit to pursue and meet me at
every turn like some troubl'd Spirit, shall I be blam'd
<span class = "pagenum">12</span>
if I inquire into the Reality? I would have nothing dissatisfy'd in a
Female Shape.</p>
<p><i>Miran.</i> What shall I do?</p>
<div class = "stagedir">(Pause.</div>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ay, prithee consider, for thou shalt find me very
much at thy Service.</p>
<p><i>Patch.</i> Suppose, Sir, the Lady shou'd be in Love with you.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Oh! I'll return the Obligation in a Moment.</p>
<p><i>Patch.</i> And marry her?</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Ha, ha, ha, that's not the way to Love her Child.</p>
<p><i>Miran.</i> If he discovers me, I shall die— Which way shall
I escape?— Let me see.</p>
<div class = "stagedir">(Pauses.</div>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Well, Madam—</p>
<p><i>Miran.</i> I have it— Sir <i>George</i>, 'tis fit you should
allow something; if you'll excuse my Face, and turn your Back (if you
look upon me I shall sink, even mask'd as I am) I will confess why I
have engag'd you so often, who I am, and where I live?</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> Well, to show you I'm a Man of Honour I accept the
Conditions. Let me but once know those, and the Face won't be long a
Secret to me.</p>
<div class = "stagedir">(Aside.</div>
<p><i>Patch.</i> What mean you, Madam?</p>
<p><i>Miran.</i> To get off.</p>
<p>Sir <i>Geo.</i> 'Tis something indecent to turn ones Back upon a
Lady; but you command and I obey. <span class = "insetdir">(Turns his
Back.)</span> Come, Madam,
begin—</p>
<p><i>Miran.</i> First then it was my unhappy Lot to see you at
<i>Paris</i> <span class = "insetdir">(Draws back a little while and
speaks)</span> at a Ball
upon a Birth-Day; your Shape and Air charm'd my Eyes; your Wit and
Complaisance my Soul, and from that fatal Night I lov'd you. <span class
= "insetdir">(Drawing
back.)</span> And when you left the Place, Grief seiz'd me so— No
Rest my Heart, no Sleep my Eyes cou'd know.—</p>
<div class = "verse">
Last I resolv'd a hazardous Point to try,<br/>
And quit the Place in search of Liberty.</div>
<div class = "stagedir">(Exit.</div>
<p><span class = "pagenum">13</span>
Sir <i>Geo.</i> Excellent— I hope she's Handsome— Well, Now,
Madam, to the other two Things: Your Name, and where you live?— I
am a Gentleman, and this Confession will not be lost upon me.—
Nay, prithee don't weep, but go on—for I find my Heart melts in thy
Behalf—speak quickly or I shall turn about— Not
yet.— Poor Lady, she expects I shou'd comfort her; and to do her
Justice, she has said enough to encourage me. <span class =
"insetdir">(Turns about.)</span> Ha?
gone! The Devil, jilted? Why, what a Tale has she invented—of
<i>Paris</i>, Balls, and Birth-Days.— Egad I'd give Ten Guineas to
know who this Gipsie is.— A Curse of my Folly— I deserve to
lose her; what Woman can forgive a Man that turns his Back.</p>
<div class = "versespace">
The Bold and Resolute, in Love and War,<br/>
To Conquer take the Right, and swiftest way;<br/>
The boldest Lover soonest gains the Fair,<br/>
As Courage makes the rudest Force obey,<br/>
Take no denial, and the Dames adore ye,<br/>
Closely pursue them and they fall before ye.</div>
<div class = "sceneplain">The End of the First ACT.</div>
<span class = "pagenum">14</span>
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />