<p><SPAN name="link2HCH0021" id="link2HCH0021"></SPAN></p>
<h2> Chapter Twelve </h2>
<p>They began to love one another again. Often, even in the middle of the
day, Emma suddenly wrote to him, then from the window made a sign to
Justin, who, taking his apron off, quickly ran to La Huchette. Rodolphe
would come; she had sent for him to tell him that she was bored, that her
husband was odious, her life frightful.</p>
<p>"But what can I do?" he cried one day impatiently.</p>
<p>"Ah! if you would—"</p>
<p>She was sitting on the floor between his knees, her hair loose, her look
lost.</p>
<p>"Why, what?" said Rodolphe.</p>
<p>She sighed.</p>
<p>"We would go and live elsewhere—somewhere!"</p>
<p>"You are really mad!" he said laughing. "How could that be possible?"</p>
<p>She returned to the subject; he pretended not to understand, and turned
the conversation.</p>
<p>What he did not understand was all this worry about so simple an affair as
love. She had a motive, a reason, and, as it were, a pendant to her
affection.</p>
<p>Her tenderness, in fact, grew each day with her repulsion to her husband.
The more she gave up herself to the one, the more she loathed the other.
Never had Charles seemed to her so disagreeable, to have such stodgy
fingers, such vulgar ways, to be so dull as when they found themselves
together after her meeting with Rodolphe. Then, while playing the spouse
and virtue, she was burning at the thought of that head whose black hair
fell in a curl over the sunburnt brow, of that form at once so strong and
elegant, of that man, in a word, who had such experience in his reasoning,
such passion in his desires. It was for him that she filed her nails with
the care of a chaser, and that there was never enough cold-cream for her
skin, nor of patchouli for her handkerchiefs. She loaded herself with
bracelets, rings, and necklaces. When he was coming she filled the two
large blue glass vases with roses, and prepared her room and her person
like a courtesan expecting a prince. The servant had to be constantly
washing linen, and all day Felicite did not stir from the kitchen, where
little Justin, who often kept her company, watched her at work.</p>
<p>With his elbows on the long board on which she was ironing, he greedily
watched all these women's clothes spread about him, the dimity petticoats,
the fichus, the collars, and the drawers with running strings, wide at the
hips and growing narrower below.</p>
<p>"What is that for?" asked the young fellow, passing his hand over the
crinoline or the hooks and eyes.</p>
<p>"Why, haven't you ever seen anything?" Felicite answered laughing. "As if
your mistress, Madame Homais, didn't wear the same."</p>
<p>"Oh, I daresay! Madame Homais!" And he added with a meditative air, "As if
she were a lady like madame!"</p>
<p>But Felicite grew impatient of seeing him hanging round her. She was six
years older than he, and Theodore, Monsieur Guillaumin's servant, was
beginning to pay court to her.</p>
<p>"Let me alone," she said, moving her pot of starch. "You'd better be off
and pound almonds; you are always dangling about women. Before you meddle
with such things, bad boy, wait till you've got a beard to your chin."</p>
<p>"Oh, don't be cross! I'll go and clean her boots."</p>
<p>And he at once took down from the shelf Emma's boots, all coated with mud,
the mud of the rendezvous, that crumbled into powder beneath his fingers,
and that he watched as it gently rose in a ray of sunlight.</p>
<p>"How afraid you are of spoiling them!" said the servant, who wasn't so
particular when she cleaned them herself, because as soon as the stuff of
the boots was no longer fresh madame handed them over to her.</p>
<p>Emma had a number in her cupboard that she squandered one after the other,
without Charles allowing himself the slightest observation. So also he
disbursed three hundred francs for a wooden leg that she thought proper to
make a present of to Hippolyte. Its top was covered with cork, and it had
spring joints, a complicated mechanism, covered over by black trousers
ending in a patent-leather boot. But Hippolyte, not daring to use such a
handsome leg every day, begged Madame Bovary to get him another more
convenient one. The doctor, of course, had again to defray the expense of
this purchase.</p>
<p>So little by little the stable-man took up his work again. One saw him
running about the village as before, and when Charles heard from afar the
sharp noise of the wooden leg, he at once went in another direction.</p>
<p>It was Monsieur Lheureux, the shopkeeper, who had undertaken the order;
this provided him with an excuse for visiting Emma. He chatted with her
about the new goods from Paris, about a thousand feminine trifles, made
himself very obliging, and never asked for his money. Emma yielded to this
lazy mode of satisfying all her caprices. Thus she wanted to have a very
handsome ridding-whip that was at an umbrella-maker's at Rouen to give to
Rodolphe. The week after Monsieur Lheureux placed it on her table.</p>
<p>But the next day he called on her with a bill for two hundred and seventy
francs, not counting the centimes. Emma was much embarrassed; all the
drawers of the writing-table were empty; they owed over a fortnight's
wages to Lestiboudois, two quarters to the servant, for any quantity of
other things, and Bovary was impatiently expecting Monsieur Derozeray's
account, which he was in the habit of paying every year about Midsummer.</p>
<p>She succeeded at first in putting off Lheureux. At last he lost patience;
he was being sued; his capital was out, and unless he got some in he
should be forced to take back all the goods she had received.</p>
<p>"Oh, very well, take them!" said Emma.</p>
<p>"I was only joking," he replied; "the only thing I regret is the whip. My
word! I'll ask monsieur to return it to me."</p>
<p>"No, no!" she said.</p>
<p>"Ah! I've got you!" thought Lheureux.</p>
<p>And, certain of his discovery, he went out repeating to himself in an
undertone, and with his usual low whistle—</p>
<p>"Good! we shall see! we shall see!"</p>
<p>She was thinking how to get out of this when the servant coming in put on
the mantelpiece a small roll of blue paper "from Monsieur Derozeray's."
Emma pounced upon and opened it. It contained fifteen napoleons; it was
the account. She heard Charles on the stairs; threw the gold to the back
of her drawer, and took out the key.</p>
<p>Three days after Lheureux reappeared.</p>
<p>"I have an arrangement to suggest to you," he said. "If, instead of the
sum agreed on, you would take—"</p>
<p>"Here it is," she said placing fourteen napoleons in his hand.</p>
<p>The tradesman was dumfounded. Then, to conceal his disappointment, he was
profuse in apologies and proffers of service, all of which Emma declined;
then she remained a few moments fingering in the pocket of her apron the
two five-franc pieces that he had given her in change. She promised
herself she would economise in order to pay back later on. "Pshaw!" she
thought, "he won't think about it again."</p>
<p>Besides the riding-whip with its silver-gilt handle, Rodolphe had received
a seal with the motto Amor nel cor* furthermore, a scarf for a muffler,
and, finally, a cigar-case exactly like the Viscount's, that Charles had
formerly picked up in the road, and that Emma had kept. These presents,
however, humiliated him; he refused several; she insisted, and he ended by
obeying, thinking her tyrannical and overexacting.</p>
<p>*A loving heart.<br/></p>
<p>Then she had strange ideas.</p>
<p>"When midnight strikes," she said, "you must think of me."</p>
<p>And if he confessed that he had not thought of her, there were floods of
reproaches that always ended with the eternal question—</p>
<p>"Do you love me?"</p>
<p>"Why, of course I love you," he answered.</p>
<p>"A great deal?"</p>
<p>"Certainly!"</p>
<p>"You haven't loved any others?"</p>
<p>"Did you think you'd got a virgin?" he exclaimed laughing.</p>
<p>Emma cried, and he tried to console her, adorning his protestations with
puns.</p>
<p>"Oh," she went on, "I love you! I love you so that I could not live
without you, do you see? There are times when I long to see you again,
when I am torn by all the anger of love. I ask myself, Where is he?
Perhaps he is talking to other women. They smile upon him; he approaches.
Oh no; no one else pleases you. There are some more beautiful, but I love
you best. I know how to love best. I am your servant, your concubine! You
are my king, my idol! You are good, you are beautiful, you are clever, you
are strong!"</p>
<p>He had so often heard these things said that they did not strike him as
original. Emma was like all his mistresses; and the charm of novelty,
gradually falling away like a garment, laid bare the eternal monotony of
passion, that has always the same forms and the same language. He did not
distinguish, this man of so much experience, the difference of sentiment
beneath the sameness of expression. Because lips libertine and venal had
murmured such words to him, he believed but little in the candour of hers;
exaggerated speeches hiding mediocre affections must be discounted; as if
the fullness of the soul did not sometimes overflow in the emptiest
metaphors, since no one can ever give the exact measure of his needs, nor
of his conceptions, nor of his sorrows; and since human speech is like a
cracked tin kettle, on which we hammer out tunes to make bears dance when
we long to move the stars.</p>
<p>But with that superior critical judgment that belongs to him who, in no
matter what circumstance, holds back, Rodolphe saw other delights to be
got out of this love. He thought all modesty in the way. He treated her
quite sans facon.* He made of her something supple and corrupt. Hers was
an idiotic sort of attachment, full of admiration for him, of
voluptuousness for her, a beatitude that benumbed her; her soul sank into
this drunkenness, shrivelled up, drowned in it, like Clarence in his butt
of Malmsey.</p>
<p>*Off-handedly.<br/></p>
<p>By the mere effect of her love Madame Bovary's manners changed. Her looks
grew bolder, her speech more free; she even committed the impropriety of
walking out with Monsieur Rodolphe, a cigarette in her mouth, "as if to
defy the people." At last, those who still doubted doubted no longer when
one day they saw her getting out of the "Hirondelle," her waist squeezed
into a waistcoat like a man; and Madame Bovary senior, who, after a
fearful scene with her husband, had taken refuge at her son's, was not the
least scandalised of the women-folk. Many other things displeased her.
First, Charles had not attended to her advice about the forbidding of
novels; then the "ways of the house" annoyed her; she allowed herself to
make some remarks, and there were quarrels, especially one on account of
Felicite.</p>
<p>Madame Bovary senior, the evening before, passing along the passage, had
surprised her in company of a man—a man with a brown collar, about
forty years old, who, at the sound of her step, had quickly escaped
through the kitchen. Then Emma began to laugh, but the good lady grew
angry, declaring that unless morals were to be laughed at one ought to
look after those of one's servants.</p>
<p>"Where were you brought up?" asked the daughter-in-law, with so
impertinent a look that Madame Bovary asked her if she were not perhaps
defending her own case.</p>
<p>"Leave the room!" said the young woman, springing up with a bound.</p>
<p>"Emma! Mamma!" cried Charles, trying to reconcile them.</p>
<p>But both had fled in their exasperation. Emma was stamping her feet as she
repeated—</p>
<p>"Oh! what manners! What a peasant!"</p>
<p>He ran to his mother; she was beside herself. She stammered</p>
<p>"She is an insolent, giddy-headed thing, or perhaps worse!"</p>
<p>And she was for leaving at once if the other did not apologise. So Charles
went back again to his wife and implored her to give way; he knelt to her;
she ended by saying—</p>
<p>"Very well! I'll go to her."</p>
<p>And in fact she held out her hand to her mother-in-law with the dignity of
a marchioness as she said—</p>
<p>"Excuse me, madame."</p>
<p>Then, having gone up again to her room, she threw herself flat on her bed
and cried there like a child, her face buried in the pillow.</p>
<p>She and Rodolphe had agreed that in the event of anything extraordinary
occurring, she should fasten a small piece of white paper to the blind, so
that if by chance he happened to be in Yonville, he could hurry to the
lane behind the house. Emma made the signal; she had been waiting
three-quarters of an hour when she suddenly caught sight of Rodolphe at
the corner of the market. She felt tempted to open the window and call
him, but he had already disappeared. She fell back in despair.</p>
<p>Soon, however, it seemed to her that someone was walking on the pavement.
It was he, no doubt. She went downstairs, crossed the yard. He was there
outside. She threw herself into his arms.</p>
<p>"Do take care!" he said.</p>
<p>"Ah! if you knew!" she replied.</p>
<p>And she began telling him everything, hurriedly, disjointedly,
exaggerating the facts, inventing many, and so prodigal of parentheses
that he understood nothing of it.</p>
<p>"Come, my poor angel, courage! Be comforted! be patient!"</p>
<p>"But I have been patient; I have suffered for four years. A love like ours
ought to show itself in the face of heaven. They torture me! I can bear it
no longer! Save me!"</p>
<p>She clung to Rodolphe. Her eyes, full of tears, flashed like flames
beneath a wave; her breast heaved; he had never loved her so much, so that
he lost his head and said "What is, it? What do you wish?"</p>
<p>"Take me away," she cried, "carry me off! Oh, I pray you!"</p>
<p>And she threw herself upon his mouth, as if to seize there the unexpected
consent if breathed forth in a kiss.</p>
<p>"But—" Rodolphe resumed.</p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>"Your little girl!"</p>
<p>She reflected a few moments, then replied—</p>
<p>"We will take her! It can't be helped!"</p>
<p>"What a woman!" he said to himself, watching her as she went. For she had
run into the garden. Someone was calling her.</p>
<p>On the following days Madame Bovary senior was much surprised at the
change in her daughter-in-law. Emma, in fact, was showing herself more
docile, and even carried her deference so far as to ask for a recipe for
pickling gherkins.</p>
<p>Was it the better to deceive them both? Or did she wish by a sort of
voluptuous stoicism to feel the more profoundly the bitterness of the
things she was about to leave?</p>
<p>But she paid no heed to them; on the contrary, she lived as lost in the
anticipated delight of her coming happiness.</p>
<p>It was an eternal subject for conversation with Rodolphe. She leant on his
shoulder murmuring—</p>
<p>"Ah! when we are in the mail-coach! Do you think about it? Can it be? It
seems to me that the moment I feel the carriage start, it will be as if we
were rising in a balloon, as if we were setting out for the clouds. Do you
know that I count the hours? And you?"</p>
<p>Never had Madame Bovary been so beautiful as at this period; she had that
indefinable beauty that results from joy, from enthusiasm, from success,
and that is only the harmony of temperament with circumstances. Her
desires, her sorrows, the experience of pleasure, and her ever-young
illusions, that had, as soil and rain and winds and the sun make flowers
grow, gradually developed her, and she at length blossomed forth in all
the plenitude of her nature. Her eyelids seemed chiselled expressly for
her long amorous looks in which the pupil disappeared, while a strong
inspiration expanded her delicate nostrils and raised the fleshy corner of
her lips, shaded in the light by a little black down. One would have
thought that an artist apt in conception had arranged the curls of hair
upon her neck; they fell in a thick mass, negligently, and with the
changing chances of their adultery, that unbound them every day. Her voice
now took more mellow infections, her figure also; something subtle and
penetrating escaped even from the folds of her gown and from the line of
her foot. Charles, as when they were first married, thought her delicious
and quite irresistible.</p>
<p>When he came home in the middle of the night, he did not dare to wake her.
The porcelain night-light threw a round trembling gleam upon the ceiling,
and the drawn curtains of the little cot formed as it were a white hut
standing out in the shade, and by the bedside Charles looked at them. He
seemed to hear the light breathing of his child. She would grow big now;
every season would bring rapid progress. He already saw her coming from
school as the day drew in, laughing, with ink-stains on her jacket, and
carrying her basket on her arm. Then she would have to be sent to the
boarding-school; that would cost much; how was it to be done? Then he
reflected. He thought of hiring a small farm in the neighbourhood, that he
would superintend every morning on his way to his patients. He would save
up what he brought in; he would put it in the savings-bank. Then he would
buy shares somewhere, no matter where; besides, his practice would
increase; he counted upon that, for he wanted Berthe to be well-educated,
to be accomplished, to learn to play the piano. Ah! how pretty she would
be later on when she was fifteen, when, resembling her mother, she would,
like her, wear large straw hats in the summer-time; from a distance they
would be taken for two sisters. He pictured her to himself working in the
evening by their side beneath the light of the lamp; she would embroider
him slippers; she would look after the house; she would fill all the home
with her charm and her gaiety. At last, they would think of her marriage;
they would find her some good young fellow with a steady business; he
would make her happy; this would last for ever.</p>
<p>Emma was not asleep; she pretended to be; and while he dozed off by her
side she awakened to other dreams.</p>
<p>To the gallop of four horses she was carried away for a week towards a new
land, whence they would return no more. They went on and on, their arms
entwined, without a word. Often from the top of a mountain there suddenly
glimpsed some splendid city with domes, and bridges, and ships, forests of
citron trees, and cathedrals of white marble, on whose pointed steeples
were storks' nests. They went at a walking-pace because of the great
flag-stones, and on the ground there were bouquets of flowers, offered you
by women dressed in red bodices. They heard the chiming of bells, the
neighing of mules, together with the murmur of guitars and the noise of
fountains, whose rising spray refreshed heaps of fruit arranged like a
pyramid at the foot of pale statues that smiled beneath playing waters.
And then, one night they came to a fishing village, where brown nets were
drying in the wind along the cliffs and in front of the huts. It was there
that they would stay; they would live in a low, flat-roofed house, shaded
by a palm-tree, in the heart of a gulf, by the sea. They would row in
gondolas, swing in hammocks, and their existence would be easy and large
as their silk gowns, warm and star-spangled as the nights they would
contemplate. However, in the immensity of this future that she conjured
up, nothing special stood forth; the days, all magnificent, resembled each
other like waves; and it swayed in the horizon, infinite, harmonised,
azure, and bathed in sunshine. But the child began to cough in her cot or
Bovary snored more loudly, and Emma did not fall asleep till morning, when
the dawn whitened the windows, and when little Justin was already in the
square taking down the shutters of the chemist's shop.</p>
<p>She had sent for Monsieur Lheureux, and had said to him—</p>
<p>"I want a cloak—a large lined cloak with a deep collar."</p>
<p>"You are going on a journey?" he asked.</p>
<p>"No; but—never mind. I may count on you, may I not, and quickly?"</p>
<p>He bowed.</p>
<p>"Besides, I shall want," she went on, "a trunk—not too heavy—handy."</p>
<p>"Yes, yes, I understand. About three feet by a foot and a half, as they
are being made just now."</p>
<p>"And a travelling bag."</p>
<p>"Decidedly," thought Lheureux, "there's a row on here."</p>
<p>"And," said Madame Bovary, taking her watch from her belt, "take this; you
can pay yourself out of it."</p>
<p>But the tradesman cried out that she was wrong; they knew one another; did
he doubt her? What childishness!</p>
<p>She insisted, however, on his taking at least the chain, and Lheureux had
already put it in his pocket and was going, when she called him back.</p>
<p>"You will leave everything at your place. As to the cloak"—she
seemed to be reflecting—"do not bring it either; you can give me the
maker's address, and tell him to have it ready for me."</p>
<p>It was the next month that they were to run away. She was to leave
Yonville as if she was going on some business to Rouen. Rodolphe would
have booked the seats, procured the passports, and even have written to
Paris in order to have the whole mail-coach reserved for them as far as
Marseilles, where they would buy a carriage, and go on thence without
stopping to Genoa. She would take care to send her luggage to Lheureux
whence it would be taken direct to the "Hirondelle," so that no one would
have any suspicion. And in all this there never was any allusion to the
child. Rodolphe avoided speaking of her; perhaps he no longer thought
about it.</p>
<p>He wished to have two more weeks before him to arrange some affairs; then
at the end of a week he wanted two more; then he said he was ill; next he
went on a journey. The month of August passed, and, after all these
delays, they decided that it was to be irrevocably fixed for the 4th
September—a Monday.</p>
<p>At length the Saturday before arrived.</p>
<p>Rodolphe came in the evening earlier than usual.</p>
<p>"Everything is ready?" she asked him.</p>
<p>"Yes."</p>
<p>Then they walked round a garden-bed, and went to sit down near the terrace
on the kerb-stone of the wall.</p>
<p>"You are sad," said Emma.</p>
<p>"No; why?"</p>
<p>And yet he looked at her strangely in a tender fashion.</p>
<p>"It is because you are going away?" she went on; "because you are leaving
what is dear to you—your life? Ah! I understand. I have nothing in
the world! you are all to me; so shall I be to you. I will be your people,
your country; I will tend, I will love you!"</p>
<p>"How sweet you are!" he said, seizing her in his arms.</p>
<p>"Really!" she said with a voluptuous laugh. "Do you love me? Swear it
then!"</p>
<p>"Do I love you—love you? I adore you, my love."</p>
<p>The moon, full and purple-coloured, was rising right out of the earth at
the end of the meadow. She rose quickly between the branches of the
poplars, that hid her here and there like a black curtain pierced with
holes. Then she appeared dazzling with whiteness in the empty heavens that
she lit up, and now sailing more slowly along, let fall upon the river a
great stain that broke up into an infinity of stars; and the silver sheen
seemed to writhe through the very depths like a heedless serpent covered
with luminous scales; it also resembled some monster candelabra all along
which sparkled drops of diamonds running together. The soft night was
about them; masses of shadow filled the branches. Emma, her eyes half
closed, breathed in with deep sighs the fresh wind that was blowing. They
did not speak, lost as they were in the rush of their reverie. The
tenderness of the old days came back to their hearts, full and silent as
the flowing river, with the softness of the perfume of the syringas, and
threw across their memories shadows more immense and more sombre than
those of the still willows that lengthened out over the grass. Often some
night-animal, hedgehog or weasel, setting out on the hunt, disturbed the
lovers, or sometimes they heard a ripe peach falling all alone from the
espalier.</p>
<p>"Ah! what a lovely night!" said Rodolphe.</p>
<p>"We shall have others," replied Emma; and, as if speaking to herself:
"Yet, it will be good to travel. And yet, why should my heart be so heavy?
Is it dread of the unknown? The effect of habits left? Or rather—?
No; it is the excess of happiness. How weak I am, am I not? Forgive me!"</p>
<p>"There is still time!" he cried. "Reflect! perhaps you may repent!"</p>
<p>"Never!" she cried impetuously. And coming closer to him: "What ill could
come to me? There is no desert, no precipice, no ocean I would not
traverse with you. The longer we live together the more it will be like an
embrace, every day closer, more heart to heart. There will be nothing to
trouble us, no cares, no obstacle. We shall be alone, all to ourselves
eternally. Oh, speak! Answer me!"</p>
<p>At regular intervals he answered, "Yes—Yes—" She had passed
her hands through his hair, and she repeated in a childlike voice, despite
the big tears which were falling, "Rodolphe! Rodolphe! Ah! Rodolphe! dear
little Rodolphe!"</p>
<p>Midnight struck.</p>
<p>"Midnight!" said she. "Come, it is to-morrow. One day more!"</p>
<p>He rose to go; and as if the movement he made had been the signal for
their flight, Emma said, suddenly assuming a gay air—</p>
<p>"You have the passports?"</p>
<p>"Yes."</p>
<p>"You are forgetting nothing?"</p>
<p>"No."</p>
<p>"Are you sure?"</p>
<p>"Certainly."</p>
<p>"It is at the Hotel de Provence, is it not, that you will wait for me at
midday?"</p>
<p>He nodded.</p>
<p>"Till to-morrow then!" said Emma in a last caress; and she watched him go.</p>
<p>He did not turn round. She ran after him, and, leaning over the water's
edge between the bulrushes—</p>
<p>"To-morrow!" she cried.</p>
<p>He was already on the other side of the river and walking fast across the
meadow.</p>
<p>After a few moments Rodolphe stopped; and when he saw her with her white
gown gradually fade away in the shade like a ghost, he was seized with
such a beating of the heart that he leant against a tree lest he should
fall.</p>
<p>"What an imbecile I am!" he said with a fearful oath. "No matter! She was
a pretty mistress!"</p>
<p>And immediately Emma's beauty, with all the pleasures of their love, came
back to him. For a moment he softened; then he rebelled against her.</p>
<p>"For, after all," he exclaimed, gesticulating, "I can't exile myself—have
a child on my hands."</p>
<p>He was saying these things to give himself firmness.</p>
<p>"And besides, the worry, the expense! Ah! no, no, no, no! a thousand times
no! That would be too stupid."</p>
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