<h2><SPAN name="page11"></SPAN><span class="pagenum"></span>II.<br/> <i>THE SAWDUST MAN’S CURSE</i>.</h2>
<p><span class="smcap">Harp Alley</span> is a little nagged
passage nestling under the heavy shadows of Drury Lane
Theatre. None of the merchants who pursue business in the
reeking enclosure can be truthfully described as doing a roaring
trade. A manufacturer of spangles, who has hidden his
commercial light under the bushel of Harp Alley, does a brisk
business during the months preceding Christmas—his stock
being in great demand for the decoration of the gorgeous
characters of Pantomime. No one ever stops at the old book
shop, where the same old plays which were offered ten years ago
in a box at a penny each are offered at a penny still. And
a steel engraving of David Garrick as Richard the Third, greatly
perturbed <SPAN name="page12"></SPAN><span class="pagenum">p.
12</span>by apparitions, has during the same interval failed to
find a purchaser at half-a-crown. There is an old clothes
shop in the Alley, owned by an adventurous speculator of the
Semitic persuasion, where you can borrow a dress suit for the
evening, and become a magnificent swell on the new hire
system.</p>
<p>The best trade done in Harp Alley is done by the owner of the
“Piping Bulfinch”—a public-house much resorted
to in the present day by scene-shifters, stage carpenters,
property men, and other humble ornaments of the British Drama,
with a fine capacity for four ale and bad language. At the
time of this story, the inner bar of the “Piping
Bulfinch”—a reserved space with a door marked
“private”—was the resort of certain actors and
authors having a greater wealth of brain than of pocket. In
those days the cuff-shooter was not, and a <i>jeune premier</i>
would be satisfied with something less than the wages of an
ambassador. Only the very superior sort of actor and
manager and dramatic author belonged to a Club. The rank
and file met unostentatiously in bars, and did their business <SPAN name="page13"></SPAN><span class="pagenum"></span>or criticised
their neighbours over “goes” of gin and whiskey, or
half pints of ale and stout. I do not intend to mention
here the names of those who were wont to meet of an afternoon at
the “Piping Bulfinch.” Some are dead.
Some are alive and famous. Others are alive and
wrecks. And all of them seem desirous to forget the
struggling period when they patronised the snug but sombre
hostlery in Harp Alley.</p>
<p>Informally established as a <i>réunion</i>, this little
society became known to the outer world, and the gentle layman
penetrated to the recesses of the inner bar and forced his
babbling company upon the playwright and the player. So
that in self-defence the mummers and the drama-makers hired from
the landlord of the “Piping Bulfinch” a large room
that opened off the public bar. Towards defraying the
expenses, each member of the coterie subscribed one shilling per
week. They had a room of their own. They were now a
Club; and that is the true history of the establishment of the
Otway—for such was the style and title which these able but
impecunious men of genius gave to this Association, <SPAN name="page14"></SPAN><span class="pagenum"></span>when
shrinking from contact with the profane vulgar, they withdrew
behind the closed door of their own private and particular
room.</p>
<p>And every Wednesday came to be known as Sawdust Day.</p>
<p>In those days of struggle what small incidents afforded
interest and even excitement! and the weekly advent of the man
bearing the sack of sawdust which was to be sprinkled on the
floor of the Club-room, was looked forward to with keen
enjoyment. He was a strange reflective man—the man
who bore in this weekly sacrifice to respectability—this
thin and shifting substitute for a carpet—this indoor
Goodwin sands. But he greatly prized the opportunity
afforded him of entering the Club. He laughed respectfully
(to himself) at the jokes which were bandied about. He
accepted with gratified smile the chaff which was levelled at him
and at his sawdust. He became indeed a part of the Club
itself, and lengthened his weekly visit as much as possible,
always discovering, when it appeared time to go, some refractory
spot on the floor which required replenishing and
smoothing. The Sawdust man may have been a broken <SPAN name="page15"></SPAN><span class="pagenum"></span>down
dramatist, a poor poet whose literary wares were a drug in the
market; and here in this bright association of wits and good
fellows he found solace once a-week.</p>
<p>Twelve happy months sped over the grey locks and closely
shaven features of the Sawdust man. And the fifty-two days
of congenial fellowship—so, poor man, he chose to consider
it—compensated for the three hundred and thirteen other
days upon which he sprinkled the yellow refuse among the
unsympathetic feet of the market-men in the public-houses about
Covent Garden. Pride, we are credibly informed, led to the
overthrow of the Prince of Darkness; and Pride entering into the
bosom of a new member of the Otway led to eventual decline and
fall of that remarkable society. In an evil moment it was
proposed at a meeting of the Committee that the Club-room should
be carpeted! After a long and angry discussion the
resolution was carried by a bare majority. The carpet was
purchased, and the poor dealer in the waste of the saw-pits was
dismissed for ever from the only Paradise of which he had any
knowledge.</p>
<p>Not unchallenged, however, was the innovation. <SPAN name="page16"></SPAN><span class="pagenum"></span>A few days
after the dismissal of the weekly visitor, the following letter
was received by the Secretary of the Club. It was duly
affixed to the notice-board above the mantel-piece, where for
some time it afforded the greatest amusement to the members, and
was provocative of many <i>facetiæ</i> on the part of the
chartered wags. But there were some of the older ornaments
of the Otway, I think, who regarded the document with some
misgiving, and counted it as an ill omen. Here is the text
of the Awful Denunciation:—</p>
<blockquote><p style="text-align: center">“<span class="smcap">To the Otways</span>.</p>
<p style="text-align: center">“<i>Pride comes before a
fall</i>.</p>
<p>“Beware! You are haughty now. You will soon
be humble. My curse is upon you. For you have driven
me forth into the world—alone. May your Club be
overrun by outsiders. May money rule you instead of
brains. May your skill fail you and your wit wither
away. May you be abandoned by the pewter and the
pipe. May your plays be damned, and your articles
rejected. And aping your betters, may you become the
laughing stock of the world. [Signed]</p>
<p style="text-align: right">“<span class="smcap">The
Sawdust Man</span>.”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>“There is insanity in Sawdust,” said Gadsby, after
he had read the startling anathema.</p>
<p><SPAN name="page17"></SPAN><span class="pagenum">p.
17</span>“More drunk than mad, I expect,” suggested
the charitable Tapham.</p>
<p>“Swallowed his own sack, perhaps,” added Ponsonby,
in defence of the latter theory.</p>
<p>But old and judicious Otways shook their heads and
sighed. The Sawdust man had become a part of their artistic
career. His removal affected them. His curse
depressed them beyond measure. On the morning after the
receipt of the Curse, the members arriving at the Club found out
in the upper panel of the door the word</p>
<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Ichabod</span>.</p>
<p>No one was ever able to ascertain when or how this amateur
wood-carving had been accomplished. It was a mystery.
But it led to this result. Senior members of the Otway
entertained some fine old crusted superstitions, and after this
handwriting on the door began to agitate for a removal to more
commodious apartments. And now the curse began to
work. For in order to keep up the more commodious rooms,
and to pay for the increased service, there were necessitated two
<SPAN name="page18"></SPAN><span class="pagenum">p.
18</span>things. In the first place, an increased entrance
fee and subscription, and in the second place, a certain healthy
relaxing of the first rule of the Club, whereby all those who
were not professionally connected with art, literature, or the
drama, were rigorously excluded.</p>
<p>In two years from the date of the instalment of the Club in
its more commodious chambers, the institution had grown
marvellously in respectability, but it had lost its character,
and was now a collection of individuals of the most various and
most nondescript kind. And at the end of the last of those
two years, a gentleman was elected to membership, who worked with
the utmost good-will to efface what little traces of Bohemian
beginnings still clung about the Otway. About this person
or his antecedents little was known. He was immensely
wealthy. He had suddenly acquired his money. And his
qualification as a member of the Club was a work on Papua and New
Guinea, which had been eagerly welcomed by the learned societies,
had been solemnly reviewed by the <i>Quarterly</i>, and which was
known by several to be the work, not of the new member at all,
but of a Museum hack <SPAN name="page19"></SPAN><span class="pagenum"></span>named Geyser, who for a consideration
in hard cash, permitted Mr. Thistleton—that was the new
member’s name—to figure on the title. Appended
to his name were the letters F.R.G.S., and other formidable
distinctions which it may be presumed, can also be obtained by
the common commercial operation known as exchange and barter.</p>
<p>Shortly after the advent of this great man, questions arose as
to the propriety of drinking beer out of pewter in the
Club-rooms. And as Mr. Thistleton was always ready to stand
a bottle of wine to anybody who cared to call for it, the
consumption of beer fell steadily off, and it became in time, the
very worst possible sort of form for an Otway to be seen imbibing
the produce of hops. Clay pipes had long ago been
disestablished by a by-law of the committee. Cigars at
ninepence and a shilling were supplied for the post-prandial
smoke. And it was an understood thing that members should
always dine in evening dress. When this rule came into
force, it occasioned the withdrawal of some old Otways, who,
although eminent in their particular walks of literature and art,
hadn’t got a single dress-suit among <SPAN name="page20"></SPAN><span class="pagenum">p.
20</span>’em. The places of these talented but
socially incomplete persons were speedily filled by gentlemen
who, if devoid of genius, were possessed of dress suits of the
very latest design, and had gold and silver and precious
stones. And the flash of a diamond is, I take it, a much
more agreeable scintillation than the flash of the greatest wit
in the world.</p>
<p>Mr. Thistleton not only elevated the members of the Otway by
means of champagne of great price; he endeavoured to give them
reflected glory by inviting to the house-dinner personages of
repute in Society. A Cabinet Minister once dined with
him. At another time, an Indian Prince, dressed in the most
gorgeous Oriental toggery, sat down to the Otway repast.
Indeed, there seemed to be, practically, no limit to his
influence with the great ones of the earth, and it was apparently
his delight to exert that influence, with a view of introducing
his brother members to all that was esteemed, wealthy, and wise,
in London Society.</p>
<p>At last there visited England an Indian Prince, compared to
whom the other Indian princes were mere nobodies. This
mighty <SPAN name="page21"></SPAN><span class="pagenum">p.
21</span>potentate was in due course brought down to the Otway,
and was graciously pleased to express his approval of all that he
saw and heard. And the Club, in order to show its
appreciation of the compliment of the wise man from the East,
invited him to a banquet. Princes have an awkward habit of
making requests that are commands. And when dinner was over
this dusky heathen had induced the members of the Club to
guarantee him a donation of five thousand pounds, towards his
fund for providing tom-toms for the Nautch girls of
Hindustan. Their solemn word was given to their
copper-coloured guest. There was no retreating from their
promise. The sequel is soon told. In order to raise
the amount the effects of the Otway were offered at public
auction. All the members attended the sale, and watched
their works of art, their luxurious furniture, their rare wines,
and their ninepenny cigars disappear under the hammer of the
auctioneer.</p>
<p>Mr. Thistleton bought in everything. He bid with a
persistency and a viciousness that astonished the man in the
rostrum. When <SPAN name="page22"></SPAN><span class="pagenum">p.
22</span>the last article was knocked down to him, he turned upon
his late fellow-members, now dissolved and houseless, and with a
demoniac shout of derisive laughter cried, “I am
avenged.” He had grown a beard, and he had become
rich, two wonderful disguises. But there was no doubt about
it. It was the Sawdust Man.</p>
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