<p><SPAN name="CHAPTER_3" id="CHAPTER_3"></SPAN></p>
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<h2>CHAPTER 3</h2>
<p class="ph1">King Kinda Jolly Is Sad</p>
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<p>While all this was happening in the King's kitchen, Kinda Jolly sat
cheerfully on his throne, talking to his pretty little Queen.</p>
<p>"Rosa, my dear," smiled Kinda, tugging at his silver whiskers, "guess
what we're going to have for dinner."</p>
<p>Rosa Merry, who was sewing a button on the King's suspenders, paused
with her needle in the air.</p>
<p>"What does it begin with?" asked Rosa curiously. The Queen simply doted
on a riddle.</p>
<p>"With a G," answered Kinda Jolly, leaning down to pat Trippsy, his pet
foot stool. Trippsy is the only live footstool, I think, I have ever
heard of. He followed Kinda wherever he went, which was fortunate,
for the King's legs were so short that no matter how low the chair or
bench, his feet never touched the floor. In some ways Trippsy was a
more useful pet than a dog. He never chased cats, nor got into fights,
nor barked, except a few shins, so that Kinda Jolly was awfully fond of
him.</p>
<p>"Is it a goat?" giggled Rosa Merry, biting off her thread.</p>
<p>"Goat!" sputtered Kinda Jolly. "I should say not! Trippsy, old boy,
she says we're going to have goat for dinner." Trippsy, who had been
to market with the King—Kinda being one of those dear old fashioned
fellows who do their own marketing—waved his tassel faintly to show
that he appreciated the joke, while General Whiffenpuff, the King's
body guard, and Hah Hoh, the Town Laugher burst into loud roars of
merriment.</p>
<p>"Guess again," invited Kinda Jolly, putting his finger tips together,
and beaming on his pretty wife.</p>
<p>"Grapes, glue, gum drops?" ventured the Queen, puckering up her
forehead. "Gravy, ginger, griddle cakes. I know, it's griddle cakes!"</p>
<div class="poetry">
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">"Grapes and glue and griddle cakes</div>
<div class="verse">Will give us frightful stomach aches!</div>
<div class="verse">Ginger, grapes and glue and gravy</div>
<div class="verse">Oh, some kind doctor come and save ye!"</div>
</div></div>
<p>That was the best that Hah Hoh could think of, but they all laughed so
loud that seven little button boys stuck their heads in the window to
see what all the fun was about.</p>
<p>"Well, do you give it up?" asked Kinda, after Rosa had made seven more
merry guesses.</p>
<p>"Yes," said the Queen, shaking her head till the curls flew out in
every direction. "What is it?"</p>
<p>"A goose!" puffed Kinda Jolly, settling back comfortably on his
throne. "The finest, fattest goose you ever saw in your life. Cost me
a thousand gold buttons," he finished, smacking his lips and winking
at General Whiffenpuff. The General, who was fonder of eating than of
anything else, began to pat his stomach absently and Trippsy, though
far too well stuffed to require food, gave a skip of satisfaction that
nearly upset the King.</p>
<p>"Roast goose and apple sauce," mused Kinda, regaining his balance.
"Yum-yum, Whiffen, old rascal, just step out to the pantry, and see
how the dinner's progressing. It's high time our goose was cooked, and
I for one am hungry as a hippogriff." They were still laughing at Hah
Hoh's jokes, when Whiffenpuff returned, but one look at the General
sobered them at once.</p>
<p>"Guess what we're going to have for dinner?" panted Whiffenpuff, very
red in the face from his hurry.</p>
<p>"What?" asked Rosa in surprise.</p>
<p>"Nuthin'," gulped the General dolefully. "The dinner's not going, it's
GONE! Our goose is hooked, tooked, crooked," finished Whiffenpuff,
forgetting his grammar entirely. (Of course, we have known this all
along, but it was a great shock to the King.)</p>
<p>"Gone!" gasped Kinda Jolly. "But where is Mombi?"</p>
<p>"Gone too!"</p>
<p>"To where?"</p>
<p>Whiffenpuff shook his head glumly and immediately Rosa Merry, Kinda
Jolly and all the rest rushed into the kitchen to see for themselves
how gone everything was. Naturally enough they found neither Mombi nor
Pajuka and, on the whole, this was most fortunate, for otherwise they
might have eaten the Prime Minister of Oz and swallowed with him the
whole of this story.</p>
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<p>"Our dinner began with a G and now its gone! Gone begins with a G. Our
dinner is gone with a G! Shall I laugh?" asked Hah Hoh, beginning to
tickle himself in the ribs.</p>
<p>"I should say not. Why, this is no laughing matter. No cook! No goose!
No dinner! Oh! I'm so disappointed I could cry!" choked Kinda Jolly,
puffing out his cheeks.</p>
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<p>"Don't do that! Don't do that!" begged Rosa Merry, and tumbling off her
high stool she sent a page flying for the Town Crier. I never told you
there was one, but Kimbaloo has a Town Crier as well as a Town Laugher,
for no one in that merry Kingdom ever thinks of shedding tears.</p>
<p>So before one could wink the Town Crier came running in with a page,
and when Whiffenpuff told him about the lost dinner, the lost goose and
the lost cook, he simply burst into tears.</p>
<p>"How long shall I cry?" he sobbed, looking around his handkerchief at
Kinda Jolly.</p>
<p>"Seven minutes for the goose and th-three for Mombi," sniffed the King,
biting his lip to keep from crying himself. So the Town Crier jerked
out another hanky, and while all the rest stood around and looked
solemn and Kinda held his watch, he wept eye after eye full of tears.</p>
<p>"Do you feel better?" asked Rosa Merry presently, patting Kinda's plump
hand.</p>
<p>"A little, a little," acknowledged the King, "but do you s'pose Mombi's
gone for good?"</p>
<p>"Well, I trust so," sniffed the Town Laugher, shrugging his shoulders,
"but I'm afraid she has gone for bad, your Majesty. A more evil
appearing old wretch I've never seen in Oz, and perhaps we are well rid
of her. Only a week ago I had a letter from a sixteenth cousin of mine
in the Emerald City telling of a famous invisible cook who lived near
her. Why not send for this invisible cook, your Highness?"</p>
<p>"That's what we've got now, isn't it?" put in General Whiffenpuff,
gloomily, but Kinda's eyes began to snap at the Town Laugher's
suggestion.</p>
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<p>"Why an invisible cook would be simply out of sight!" cried the King,
motioning for the Town Crier to cease his lamentations. "Let us send
for her at once!"</p>
<p>"And meanwhile I'll be cook," smiled Rosa Merry, happy that everything
was turning out so well. "Guess what we're going to have for dinner?"</p>
<p>"Omelet!" gulped the Town Crier, wringing out his handkerchiefs in a
business-like fashion and immediately the rest began to guess this and
then that till they were all as jolly as possible. But right in the
midst of the merriment, in came ten little button boys to report the
disappearance of Snip.</p>
<p>"Snip gone," groaned Kinda Jolly, clapping his hand to his head and
falling back against the flour barrel. "Oh! This is the worst of all.
Why he's the brightest boy in Kimbaloo and the best button picker I've
got. Cry! Cry some more, cry a lot!" wailed the poor King, shaking the
Town Crier by the arm. So he did, and the Town Laugher had to blow his
nose hard, to keep from crying himself, for Snip was a great favorite
in the palace.</p>
<p>As soon as the news got about, all the rest of the Kimbles came
tumbling into the kitchen, and the two hundred and forty-nine little
button boys began to hug Kinda Jolly, and the two hundred and fifty
little flower girls began to hug Rosa Merry. Trippsy, the pet foot
stool, who loved Snip almost as much as Kinda Jolly, was so upset he
dashed here and there till everyone else was that way, too, especially
General Whiffenpuff. Altogether the confusion was terrific.</p>
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<p>"Wait!" grunted the General, picking himself up for the fifth time.
"Wait! I will find them all!" Seizing his gun, and with never a thought
of dinner, he plunged boldly out into the night to find Mombi, the
goose, Snip and an invisible cook. After that things grew calmer,
for the King had great confidence in Whiffenpuff. The boys and girls
trooped back to their cottages and the rest sat down to a picnic supper
out of the ice box.</p>
<p>"Whiffenpuff will find 'em, no fear," whispered Hah Hoh, squeezing
Kinda Jolly's hand comfortingly, "and if he doesn't just remember that
I also have something up my sleeve!"</p>
<p>"What is it?" asked the King mournfully, and as clearly as he could,
for he had half a chicken sandwich in the other cheek.</p>
<p>"A funny bone," confided the Town Laugher, with so comical and
important an expression that Kinda had to be thumped on the back to
keep from choking.</p>
<p>"A funny bone!" gasped the King, as he recovered his breath. "Let me
see it, you rascal."</p>
<p>So the Town Laugher showed Kinda Jolly his left elbow and they both
roared at the joke.</p>
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