<h3><SPAN name="CHAPTER_XXX" id="CHAPTER_XXX"></SPAN>CHAPTER XXX.</h3>
<p> </p>
<p>It happened thus that it was not till the second
autumn after the settlement of the ladies in Waterdale,
when all the questions had died out, and there was no
more talk of them, except on occasions when a sudden
recollection cropped up among their friends at Windyhill,
that John Tatham paid them his first visit. He
had been very conscientious in his proposed bestowal
of himself. Perhaps it is scarcely quite complimentary
to a woman when she is made choice of by a man who
is consciously to himself "on the outlook," thinking
that he ought to marry, and investigating all the suitable
persons about with an eye to finding one who will
answer his requirements. This sensible way of approaching
the subject of matrimony does not somehow
commend itself to our insular notions. It is the right
way in every country except our own, but it has a cold-blooded
look to the Anglo-Saxon; and a girl is not
flattered (though perhaps she ought to be) by being the
subject of this sensible choice. "As if I were a housekeeper
or a cook!" she is apt to say, and is far better
pleased to be fallen in love with in the most rash and
irresponsible way than to be thus selected from the
crowd: though that, everybody must allow, after due
comparison and inspection, is by far the greater compliment.
John having arrived at the conclusion that it
would be better for him in many ways to marry, and
specially in the way of Elinor, fortifying him for ever
from all possible complications, and making it possible
for him to regard her evermore with the placid feelings
of a brother, which was, he expected, to be the consequence—worked
at the matter really with great pertinacity
and consistency. He kept his eyes open upon
the whole generation of girls whom he met with in society.
When he went abroad during the long vacation
(instead of going to Lakeside, as he was invited to do),
he directed his steps rather to the fashionable resorts,
where families disport themselves at the foot of the
mountains, than to the Alpine heights where he had
generally found a more robust amusement. And
wherever he went he bent his attention on the fairer
portion of the creation, the girls who fill all the hotels
with the flutter of their fresh toilettes and the babble
of their pleasant voices. It was very mean and poor of
him, seeing he was a mountaineer himself—but still it
must be recorded that the only young ladies he
systematically neglected were those in very short petticoats,
with very sunburnt faces and nails in their boots, who
ought to have been most congenial to him as sharing
his own tastes. It is said, I don't know with what truth,
that at Ouch, or Interlachen, or some other of the most
mundane and banal resorts of the tourists, he came
upon one girl who he thought might make him a suitable
wife: and that, though with much moderation and
prudence, he more or less followed her party for some
time, meeting them over and over again, with expressions
of astonishment, round the most well-known corners,
and persisting for a considerable time in this
quest. But whether he ever came the length of proposing
at all, or whether the young lady was engaged beforehand,
or if she thought the prospect of making a
suitable wife not good enough, I cannot say, and I
doubt whether any one knows—except, of course, the
parties immediately concerned. It is very clear, at all
events, that it came to nothing. John did not altogether
give it up, I fancy, for he went a great deal into
society still, especially in that <i>avant saison</i>, which people
who live in London declare to be the most enjoyable,
and when it is supposed you can enjoy the best of
company at your ease without the hurry and rush of
the summer crowd. He would have been very glad,
thankful, indeed, if he could have fallen in love. How
absurd to think that any silly boy can do it, to whom it
is probably nothing but a disadvantage and the silliest
of pastimes, and that he, a reasonable man with a good
income, and arrived at a time of life when it is becoming
and rational to marry, could not do it, let him try
as he would! There was something ludicrous in it,
when you came to think, as well as something very depressing.
Mothers who wanted a good position for
their daughters divined him, and many of them were
exceedingly civil to John, this man in search of a wife;
and many of the young ladies themselves divined him,
and with the half indignation, half mockery, appropriate
to the situation, were some of them not unaverse to
profit by it, and accordingly turned to him their worst
side in the self-consciousness produced by that knowledge.
And thus the second year turned round towards
the wane, and John was farther from success than ever.</p>
<p>He said to himself then that it was clear he was not
a marrying man. He liked the society of ladies well
enough, but not in that way. He was not made for falling
in love. He might very well, he was aware, have dispensed
with the tradition, and found an excellent wife,
who would not at all have insisted upon it from her
side. But he had his prejudices, and could not do
this. Love he insisted upon, and love would not come.
Accordingly, when the second season was over he gave
up both the quest and the idea, and resolved to think
of marrying no more, which was a sensible relief to him.
For indeed he was exceedingly comfortable as he was;
his chambers were excellent, and he did not think that
any street or square in Belgravia would have reconciled
him to giving up the Temple. He had excellent servants,
a man and his wife, who took the greatest care
of him. He had settled into a life which was arranged
as he liked, with much freedom, and yet an agreeable
routine which John was too wise to despise. He relinquished
the idea of marrying then and there. To be
sure there is never any prophesying what may happen.
A little laughing gipsy of a girl may banish such a resolution
out of a man's mind in the twinkling of an eye,
at any moment. But short of such accidents as that,
and he smiled at the idea of anything of the kind, he
quite made up his mind on this point with a great sensation
of relief.</p>
<p>It is curious how determined the mind of the English
public at least is on this subject—that the man or woman
who does not marry (especially the woman, by-the-bye)
has an unhappy life, and that a story which does
not end in a wedding is no story at all, or at least ends
badly, as people say. It happened to myself on one
occasion to put together in a book the story of some
friends of mine, in which this was the case. They
were young, they were hopeful, they had all life before
them, but they did not marry. And when the last
chapter came to the consciousness of the publisher he
struck, with the courage of a true Briton, not ashamed
of his principles, and refused to pay. He said it was
no story at all—so beautiful is marriage in the eyes of
our countrymen. I hope, however, that nobody will
think any harm of John Tatham because he concluded,
after considerable and patient trial, that he was not a
marrying man. There is no harm in that. A great
number of those Catholic priests whom it was the habit
in my youth to commiserate deeply, as if they were
vowed to the worst martyrdom, live very happy lives in
their celibacy and prefer it, as John Tatham did. It
will be apparent to the reader that he really preferred
it to Elinor, while Elinor was in his power. And
though afterwards it gave a comfort and grace to his life
to think that it was his faithful but subdued love for
Elinor which made him a bachelor all his days, I am
by no means certain that this was true. Perhaps he
never would have made up his mind had she remained
always within his reach. Certain it is that he was relieved
when he found that to give up the idea of marriage
was the best thing for him. He adopted the
conclusion with pleasure. His next brother had already
married, though he was younger than John;
but then he was a clergyman, which is a profession
naturally tending to that sort of thing. There was,
however, no kind of necessity laid upon him to provide
for the continuance of the race. And he was a happy
man.</p>
<p>By what sequence of ideas it was that he considered
himself justified, having come to this conclusion, in immediately
paying his long-promised visit to Lakeside,
is a question which I need not enter into, and indeed do
not feel entirely able to cope with. It suited him, perhaps,
as he had been so long a time in Switzerland last
year: and he had an invitation to the far north for the
grouse, which he thought it would be pleasant to
accept. Going to Scotland or coming from it, Waterdale
of course lies full in the way. He took it last on
his way home, which was more convenient, and arrived
there in the latter part of September, when the hills
were golden with the yellow bracken. The Cumberland
hills are a little cold, in my opinion, without the
heather, which clothes with such a flush of life and
brightness our hills in the north. The greenness is
chilly in the frequent rain; one feels how sodden and
slippery it is—a moisture which does not belong to the
heather: but when the brackens have all turned, and
the slopes reflect themselves in the tranquil water like
hills of gold, then the landscape reaches its perfect
point. Lakeside was a white house standing out on a
small projection at the head of the lake, commanding
the group of hills above and part of the winding body
of water below, in which all these golden reflections
lay. A little steamer passed across the reflected glory,
and came to a stop not a hundred yards from the gate
of the house. It was a scene as unlike as could be conceived
to the Cottage at Windyhill: the trees were all
glorious in colour; yellow birches like trees made of
light, oaks all red and fiery, chestnuts and elms and
beeches in a hundred hues. The house was white, with
a sort of broad verandah round, supported on pillars,
furnishing a sheltered walk below and a broad balcony
above, which gave it a character of more importance
than perhaps its real size warranted. When John approached
there ran out to meet him into the wide
gravel drive before the door a little figure upon two
sturdy legs, calling out, in inarticulate shoutings, something
that sounded a little like his own name. It was,
"'tle John! 'tle John!" made into a sort of song by
the baby, nearly two years old, and "very forward," as
everybody assured the stranger, for his age. Uncle
John! his place was thus determined at once by
that little potentate and master of the house. Behind
the child came Elinor, no longer pale and languid as he
had seen her last, but matured into vigorous beauty,
bright-eyed, a little sober, as might have become maturer
years than hers. Perhaps there was something
in the style of her dress that favoured the idea, not of
age indeed, but of matronly years, and beyond those
which Elinor counted. She was dressed in black, of
the simplest description, not of distinctive character
like a widow's, yet something like what an ideal widow
beyond fashion or conventionalities of woe might wear.
It seemed to give John the key-note of the character
she had assumed in this new sphere.</p>
<p>Mrs. Dennistoun, who had not changed in the least,
stood in the open door. They gave him a welcome
such as John had not had, he said to himself, since he
had seen them before. They were unfeignedly glad to
see him, not wounded (which, to think of afterwards,
wounded him a little) that he had not come sooner, but
delighted that he was here now. Even when he went
home it was not usual to John to be met at the door in
this way by all his belongings. His sister might come
running down the stairs when she heard the dog-cart
draw up, but that was all. And Mary's eagerness to
see him was generally tempered by the advice she had
to give, to say that or not to say this, because of papa.
But in the present case it was the sight of himself
which was delightful to all, and, above all, though the
child could have no reason for it, to the little shouting
excited boy. "'Tle John! 'tle John!" What was
Uncle John to him? yet his little voice filled the room
with shouts of joy.</p>
<p>"What does he know about me, the little beggar,
that he makes such a noise in my honour?" said John,
touched in spite of himself. "But I suppose anything
is good enough for a cry at that age."</p>
<p>"Come," said Elinor, "you are not to be contemptuous
of my boy any longer. You called him <i>it</i> when he
was a baby."</p>
<p>"And what is he now?" said John, whose heart
was affected by strange emotions, he, the man who
had just decided (with relief) that he was not a
marrying man. There came over him a curious wave
of sensation which he had no right to. If he had had a
right to it, if he had been coming home to those who
belonged to him, not distantly in the way of cousinship,
but by a dearer right, what sensations his would have
been! But sitting at the corner of the fire (which is
very necessary in Waterdale in the end of September) a
little in the shadow, his face was not very clearly perceptible:
though indeed had it been so the ladies would
have thought nothing but that John's kind heart was
touched, as was so natural, by this sight.</p>
<p>"What is he now? Your nephew! Tell Uncle John
what you are now," said Elinor, lifting her child on her
lap; at which the child between the kisses which were
his encouragement and reward produced, in a large
infant voice, very treble, yet simulating hers, the statement,
"Mamma's bhoy."</p>
<p>"Now, Elinor," said Mrs. Dennistoun, "he has played
his part beautifully; he has done everything you taught
him. He has told you who he is and who Uncle
John is. Let him go to his nursery now."</p>
<p>"Come up-stairs, Pippo. Mother will carry her boy,"
said Elinor. "They don't want us any more, these old
people. Say good-night to Uncle John, and come to
bed."</p>
<p>"Dood-night, 'tle John," said the child; which, however,
was not enough, for he tilted himself out of his
mother's arms and put his rosy face and open mouth,
sweet but damp, upon John's face. This kiss was one
of the child's accomplishments. He himself was aware
that he had been good, and behaved himself in every
way as a child should do, as he was carried off crowing
and jabbering in his mother's arms. He had formed a
sort of little human bridge between them when he
made that dive from Elinor's arms upon John's face.
Ah, heaven! if it had been the other way, if the child
and the mother had both been his!</p>
<p>"He has grown up very sweet. You may think we
are foolish, John; but you can't imagine what a delight
that child is. Hasn't he grown up sweet?"</p>
<p>"If you call that grown up!"</p>
<p>"Oh, yes, I know he is only a baby still; but so forward
for his age, such a little man, taking care of his
mother before he is two years old!"</p>
<p>"What did I hear her call him?" John asked, and it
seemed to Mrs. Dennistoun that there was something
severe in the sound of his voice.</p>
<p>"He had to be Philip. It is a pretty name, though
we may have reason to mourn the day—and belongs to
his family. We must not forget that he belongs to a
known family, however he may have suffered by it."</p>
<p>"Then you intend the child to know about his
family? I am glad to hear it," said John, though his
voice perhaps was not so sweet as his words.</p>
<p>"Oh, John, that is quite another thing! to know
about his family—at two! He has his mother—and
me to take care of them both, and what does he want
more?"</p>
<p>"But he will not always be two," said John, the first
moment almost of his arrival, before he had seen the
house, or said a word about the lake, or anything.
She was so disappointed and cast down that she made
him no reply.</p>
<p>"I am a wretched croaker," he said, after a moment,
"I know. I ought after all this time to try to make
myself more agreeable; but you must pardon me if
this was the first thing that came into my mind. Elinor
is looking a great deal better than when I saw her
last."</p>
<p>"Isn't she! another creature. I don't say that I am
satisfied, John. Who would be satisfied in such a position
of affairs? but while the child is so very young
nothing matters very much. And she is quite happy.
I do think she is quite happy. And so well—this country
suits them both perfectly. Though there is a good
deal of rain, they are both out every day. And little
Pippo thrives, as you see, like a flower."</p>
<p>"That is a very fantastic name to give the child."</p>
<p>"How critical you are, John! perhaps it is, but what
does it matter at his age? any name does for a baby.
Why, you yourself, as grave as you are now<span class="norewrap">——</span>"</p>
<p>"Don't, aunt," said John. "It is a grave matter
enough as it appears to me."</p>
<p>"Not for the present; not for the present, John."</p>
<p>"Perhaps not for the present: if you prefer to put
off all the difficulties till they grow up and crush you.
Have there been any overtures, all this time, from—the
other side?"</p>
<p>"Dear John, don't overwhelm me all in a moment,
in the first pleasure of seeing you, both with the
troubles that are behind and the troubles that are in
front of us," the poor lady said.</p>
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