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<h2> 35. </h2>
<p>As Donald stated, Lucetta had retired early to her room because of
fatigue. She had, however, not gone to rest, but sat in the bedside chair
reading and thinking over the events of the day. At the ringing of the
door-bell by Henchard she wondered who it should be that would call at
that comparatively late hour. The dining-room was almost under her
bed-room; she could hear that somebody was admitted there, and presently
the indistinct murmur of a person reading became audible.</p>
<p>The usual time for Donald's arrival upstairs came and passed, yet still
the reading and conversation went on. This was very singular. She could
think of nothing but that some extraordinary crime had been committed, and
that the visitor, whoever he might be, was reading an account of it from a
special edition of the Casterbridge Chronicle. At last she left the room,
and descended the stairs. The dining-room door was ajar, and in the
silence of the resting household the voice and the words were recognizable
before she reached the lower flight. She stood transfixed. Her own words
greeted her in Henchard's voice, like spirits from the grave.</p>
<p>Lucetta leant upon the banister with her cheek against the smooth
hand-rail, as if she would make a friend of it in her misery. Rigid in
this position, more and more words fell successively upon her ear. But
what amazed her most was the tone of her husband. He spoke merely in the
accents of a man who made a present of his time.</p>
<p>"One word," he was saying, as the crackling of paper denoted that Henchard
was unfolding yet another sheet. "Is it quite fair to this young woman's
memory to read at such length to a stranger what was intended for your eye
alone?"</p>
<p>"Well, yes," said Henchard. "By not giving her name I make it an example
of all womankind, and not a scandal to one."</p>
<p>"If I were you I would destroy them," said Farfrae, giving more thought to
the letters than he had hitherto done. "As another man's wife it would
injure the woman if it were known.</p>
<p>"No, I shall not destroy them," murmured Henchard, putting the letters
away. Then he arose, and Lucetta heard no more.</p>
<p>She went back to her bedroom in a semi-paralyzed state. For very fear she
could not undress, but sat on the edge of the bed, waiting. Would Henchard
let out the secret in his parting words? Her suspense was terrible. Had
she confessed all to Donald in their early acquaintance he might possibly
have got over it, and married her just the same—unlikely as it had
once seemed; but for her or any one else to tell him now would be fatal.</p>
<p>The door slammed; she could hear her husband bolting it. After looking
round in his customary way he came leisurely up the stairs. The spark in
her eyes well-nigh went out when he appeared round the bedroom door. Her
gaze hung doubtful for a moment, then to her joyous amazement she saw that
he looked at her with the rallying smile of one who had just been relieved
of a scene that was irksome. She could hold out no longer, and sobbed
hysterically.</p>
<p>When he had restored her Farfrae naturally enough spoke of Henchard. "Of
all men he was the least desirable as a visitor," he said; "but it is my
belief that he's just a bit crazed. He has been reading to me a long lot
of letters relating to his past life; and I could do no less than indulge
him by listening."</p>
<p>This was sufficient. Henchard, then, had not told. Henchard's last words
to Farfrae, in short, as he stood on the doorstep, had been these: "Well—I'm
obliged to 'ee for listening. I may tell more about her some day."</p>
<p>Finding this, she was much perplexed as to Henchard's motives in opening
the matter at all; for in such cases we attribute to an enemy a power of
consistent action which we never find in ourselves or in our friends; and
forget that abortive efforts from want of heart are as possible to revenge
as to generosity.</p>
<p>Next morning Lucetta remained in bed, meditating how to parry this
incipient attack. The bold stroke of telling Donald the truth, dimly
conceived, was yet too bold; for she dreaded lest in doing so he, like the
rest of the world, should believe that the episode was rather her fault
than her misfortune. She decided to employ persuasion—not with
Donald but with the enemy himself. It seemed the only practicable weapon
left her as a woman. Having laid her plan she rose, and wrote to him who
kept her on these tenterhooks:—</p>
<p>"I overheard your interview with my husband last night, and saw the drift
of your revenge. The very thought of it crushes me! Have pity on a
distressed woman! If you could see me you would relent. You do not know
how anxiety has told upon me lately. I will be at the Ring at the time you
leave work—just before the sun goes down. Please come that way. I
cannot rest till I have seen you face to face, and heard from your mouth
that you will carry this horse-play no further."</p>
<p>To herself she said, on closing up her appeal: "If ever tears and
pleadings have served the weak to fight the strong, let them do so now!"</p>
<p>With this view she made a toilette which differed from all she had ever
attempted before. To heighten her natural attraction had hitherto been the
unvarying endeavour of her adult life, and one in which she was no novice.
But now she neglected this, and even proceeded to impair the natural
presentation. Beyond a natural reason for her slightly drawn look, she had
not slept all the previous night, and this had produced upon her pretty
though slightly worn features the aspect of a countenance ageing
prematurely from extreme sorrow. She selected—as much from want of
spirit as design—her poorest, plainest and longest discarded attire.</p>
<p>To avoid the contingency of being recognized she veiled herself, and
slipped out of the house quickly. The sun was resting on the hill like a
drop of blood on an eyelid by the time she had got up the road opposite
the amphitheatre, which she speedily entered. The interior was shadowy,
and emphatic of the absence of every living thing.</p>
<p>She was not disappointed in the fearful hope with which she awaited him.
Henchard came over the top, descended and Lucetta waited breathlessly. But
having reached the arena she saw a change in his bearing: he stood still
at a little distance from her; she could not think why.</p>
<p>Nor could any one else have known. The truth was that in appointing this
spot, and this hour, for the rendezvous, Lucetta had unwittingly backed up
her entreaty by the strongest argument she could have used outside words,
with this man of moods, glooms, and superstitions. Her figure in the midst
of the huge enclosure, the unusual plainness of her dress, her attitude of
hope and appeal, so strongly revived in his soul the memory of another
ill-used woman who had stood there and thus in bygone days, and had now
passed away into her rest, that he was unmanned, and his heart smote him
for having attempted reprisals on one of a sex so weak. When he approached
her, and before she had spoken a word, her point was half gained.</p>
<p>His manner as he had come down had been one of cynical carelessness; but
he now put away his grim half-smile, and said, in a kindly subdued tone,
"Goodnight t'ye. Of course I'm glad to come if you want me."</p>
<p>"O, thank you," she said apprehensively.</p>
<p>"I am sorry to see 'ee looking so ill," he stammered with unconcealed
compunction.</p>
<p>She shook her head. "How can you be sorry," she asked, "when you
deliberately cause it?"</p>
<p>"What!" said Henchard uneasily. "Is it anything I have done that has
pulled you down like that?"</p>
<p>"It is all your doing," she said. "I have no other grief. My happiness
would be secure enough but for your threats. O Michael! don't wreck me
like this! You might think that you have done enough! When I came here I
was a young woman; now I am rapidly becoming an old one. Neither my
husband nor any other man will regard me with interest long."</p>
<p>Henchard was disarmed. His old feeling of supercilious pity for womankind
in general was intensified by this suppliant appearing here as the double
of the first. Moreover that thoughtless want of foresight which had led to
all her trouble remained with poor Lucetta still; she had come to meet him
here in this compromising way without perceiving the risk. Such a woman
was very small deer to hunt; he felt ashamed, lost all zest and desire to
humiliate Lucetta there and then, and no longer envied Farfrae his
bargain. He had married money, but nothing more. Henchard was anxious to
wash his hands of the game.</p>
<p>"Well, what do you want me to do?" he said gently. "I am sure I shall be
very willing. My reading of those letters was only a sort of practical
joke, and I revealed nothing."</p>
<p>"To give me back the letters and any papers you may have that breathe of
matrimony or worse."</p>
<p>"So be it. Every scrap shall be yours....But, between you and me, Lucetta,
he is sure to find out something of the matter, sooner or later.</p>
<p>"Ah!" she said with eager tremulousness; "but not till I have proved
myself a faithful and deserving wife to him, and then he may forgive me
everything!"</p>
<p>Henchard silently looked at her: he almost envied Farfrae such love as
that, even now. "H'm—I hope so," he said. "But you shall have the
letters without fail. And your secret shall be kept. I swear it."</p>
<p>"How good you are!—how shall I get them?"</p>
<p>He reflected, and said he would send them the next morning. "Now don't
doubt me," he added. "I can keep my word."</p>
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