<h2> LETTER III </h2>
<h3> MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE JAN. 13, 14. </h3>
<p>And thus, as Mr. Lovelace thought fit to take it, had he his answer from
my sister. It was with very great regret, as he pretended, [I doubt the
man is an hypocrite, my dear] that he acquiesced in it. 'So much
determinedness; such a noble firmness in my sister, that there was no hope
of prevailing upon her to alter sentiments she had adopted on full
consideration.' He sighed, as Bella told us, when he took his leave of
her: 'Profoundly sighed; grasped her hand, and kissed it with such an
ardour—Withdrew with such an air of solemn respect—She could
almost find it in her heart, although he had vexed her, to pity him.' A
good intentional preparative to love, this pity; since, at the time, she
little thought that he would not renew his offer.</p>
<p>He waited on my mother after he had taken leave of Bella, and reported his
ill success in so respectful a manner, as well with regard to my sister,
as to the whole family, and with so much concern that he was not accepted
as a relation to it, that it left upon them all (my brother being then, as
I have said, in Scotland) impressions in his favour, and a belief that
this matter would certainly be brought on again. But Mr. Lovelace going up
directly to town, where he staid a whole fortnight, and meeting there with
my uncle Antony, to whom he regretted his niece's cruel resolution not to
change her state; it was seen that there was a total end of the affair.</p>
<p>My sister was not wanting to herself on this occasion. She made a virtue
of necessity; and the man was quite another man with her. 'A vain
creature! Too well knowing his advantages: yet those not what she had
conceived them to be!—Cool and warm by fits and starts; an ague-like
lover. A steady man, a man of virtue, a man of morals, was worth a
thousand of such gay flutterers. Her sister Clary might think it worth her
while perhaps to try to engage such a man: she had patience: she was
mistress of persuasion: and indeed, to do the girl justice, had something
of a person: But as for her, she would not have a man of whose heart she
could not be sure for one moment; no, not for the world: and most
sincerely glad was she that she had rejected him.'</p>
<p>But when Mr. Lovelace returned into the country, he thought fit to visit
my father and mother; hoping, as he told them, that, however unhappy he
had been in the rejection of the wished-for alliance, he might be allowed
to keep up an acquaintance and friendship with a family which he should
always respect. And then unhappily, as I may say, was I at home and
present.</p>
<p>It was immediately observed, that his attention was fixed on me. My
sister, as soon as he was gone, in a spirit of bravery, seemed desirous to
promote his address, should it be tendered.</p>
<p>My aunt Hervey was there; and was pleased to say, we should make the
finest couple in England—if my sister had no objection.—No,
indeed! with a haughty toss, was my sister's reply—it would be
strange if she had, after the denial she had given him upon full
deliberation.</p>
<p>My mother declared, that her only dislike of his alliance with either
daughter, was on account of his reputed faulty morals.</p>
<p>My uncle Harlowe, that his daughter Clary, as he delighted to call me from
childhood, would reform him if any woman in the world could.</p>
<p>My uncle Antony gave his approbation in high terms: but referred, as my
aunt had done, to my sister.</p>
<p>She repeated her contempt of him; and declared, that, were there not
another man in England, she would not have him. She was ready, on the
contrary, she could assure them, to resign her pretensions under hand and
seal, if Miss Clary were taken with his tinsel, and if every one else
approved of his address to the girl.</p>
<p>My father indeed, after a long silence, being urged by my uncle Antony to
speak his mind, said, that he had a letter from his son, on his hearing of
Mr. Lovelace's visits to his daughter Arabella; which he had not shewn to
any body but my mother; that treaty being at an end when he received it:
that in this letter he expressed great dislike to an alliance with Mr.
Lovelace on the score of his immoralities: that he knew, indeed, there was
an old grudge between them; but that, being desirous to prevent all
occasions of disunion and animosity in his family, he would suspend the
declaration of his own mind till his son arrived, and till he had heard
his further objections: that he was the more inclined to make his son this
compliment, as Mr. Lovelace's general character gave but too much ground
for his son's dislike of him; adding, that he had hear (so, he supposed,
had every one,) that he was a very extravagant man; that he had contracted
debts in his travels: and indeed, he was pleased to say, he had the air of
a spendthrift.</p>
<p>These particulars I had partly from my aunt Hervey, and partly from my
sister; for I was called out as soon as the subject was entered upon. When
I returned, my uncle Antony asked me, how I should like Mr. Lovelace?
Every body saw, he was pleased to say, that I had made a conquest.</p>
<p>I immediately answered, that I did not like him at all: he seemed to have
too good an opinion both on his person and parts, to have any regard to
his wife, let him marry whom he would.</p>
<p>My sister particularly was pleased with this answer, and confirmed it to
be just; with a compliment to my judgment.—For it was hers.</p>
<p>But the very next day Lord M. came to Harlowe-Place [I was then absent];
and in his nephew's name made a proposal in form; declaring, that it was
the ambition of all his family to be related to ours: and he hoped his
kinsman would not have such an answer on the part of the younger sister,
as he had on that of the elder.</p>
<p>In short, Mr. Lovelace's visits were admitted as those of a man who had
not deserved disrespect from our family; but as to his address to me, with
a reservation, as above, on my father's part, that he would determine
nothing without his son. My discretion as to the rest was confided in: for
still I had the same objections as to the man: nor would I, when we were
better acquainted, hear any thing but general talk from him; giving him no
opportunity of conversing with me in private.</p>
<p>He bore this with a resignation little expected from his natural temper,
which is generally reported to be quick and hasty; unused it seems from
childhood to check or controul. A case too common in considerable families
where there is an only son: and his mother never had any other child. But,
as I have heretofore told you, I could perceive, notwithstanding this
resignation, that he had so good an opinion of himself, as not to doubt,
that his person and accomplishments would insensibly engage me: And could
that be once done, he told my aunt Hervey, he should hope, from so steady
a temper, that his hold in my affections would be durable: While my sister
accounted for his patience in another manner, which would perhaps have had
more force if it had come from a person less prejudiced: 'That the man was
not fond of marrying at all: that he might perhaps have half a score
mistresses: and that delay might be as convenient for his roving, as for
my well-acted indifference.' That was her kind expression.</p>
<p>Whatever was his motive for a patience so generally believed to be out of
his usual character, and where the object of his address was supposed to
be of fortune considerable enough to engage his warmest attention, he
certainly escaped many mortifications by it: for while my father suspended
his approbation till my brother's arrival, Mr. Lovelace received from
every one those civilities which were due to his birth: and although we
heard from time to time reports to his disadvantage with regard to morals,
yet could we not question him upon them without giving him greater
advantages in his own opinion than the situation he was in with us would
justify to prudence; since it was much more likely that his address would
not be allowed of, than that it would.</p>
<p>And thus was he admitted to converse with our family almost upon his own
terms; for while my friends saw nothing in his behaviour but what was
extremely respectful, and observed in him no violent importunity, they
seemed to have taken a great liking to his conversation: While I
considered him only as a common guest when he came; and thought myself no
more concerned in his visits, not at his entrance and departure, than any
other of the family.</p>
<p>But this indifference on my side was the means of procuring him one very
great advantage; since upon it was grounded that correspondence by letters
which succeeded;—and which, had it been to be begun when the family
animosity broke out, would never have been entered into on my part. The
occasion was this:</p>
<p>My uncle Hervey has a young gentleman intrusted to his care, whom he has
thoughts of sending abroad a year or two hence, to make the Grand Tour, as
it is called; and finding Mr. Lovelace could give a good account of every
thing necessary for a young traveller to observe upon such an occasion, he
desired him to write down a description of the courts and countries he had
visited, and what was most worthy of curiosity in them.</p>
<p>He consented, on condition that I would direct his subjects, as he called
it: and as every one had heard his manner of writing commended; and
thought his narratives might be agreeable amusements in winter evenings;
and that he could have no opportunity particularly to address me directly
in them, since they were to be read in full assembly before they were
given to the young gentleman, I made the less scruple to write, and to
make observations, and put questions for our further information—Still
the less perhaps as I love writing; and those who do, are fond, you know,
of occasions to use the pen: And then, having ever one's consent, and my
uncle Hervey's desire that I would write, I thought that if I had been the
only scrupulous person, it would have shewn a particularity that a vain
man might construe to his advantage; and which my sister would not fail to
animadvert upon.</p>
<p>You have seen some of these letters; and have been pleased with this
account of persons, places, and things; and we have both agreed, that he
was no common observer upon what he had seen.</p>
<p>My sister allowed that the man had a tolerable knack of writing and
describing: And my father, who had been abroad in his youth, said, that
his remarks were curious, and shewed him to be a person of reading,
judgment and taste.</p>
<p>Thus was a kind of correspondence begun between him and me, with general
approbation; while every one wondered at, and was pleased with, his
patient veneration of me; for so they called it. However, it was not
doubted but he would soon be more importunate, since his visits were more
frequent, and he acknowledged to my aunt Hervey a passion for me,
accompanied with an awe that he had never known before; to which he
attributed what he called his but seeming acquiescence with my father's
pleasure, and the distance I kept him at. And yet, my dear, this may be
his usual manner of behaviour to our sex; for had not my sister at first
all his reverence?</p>
<p>Mean time, my father, expecting his importunity, kept in readiness the
reports he had heard in his disfavour, to charge them upon him then, as so
many objections to address. And it was highly agreeable to me that he did
so: it would have been strange if it were not; since the person who could
reject Mr. Wyerley's address for the sake of his free opinions, must have
been inexcusable, had she not rejected another's for his freer practices.</p>
<p>But I should own, that in the letters he sent me upon the general subject,
he more than once inclosed a particular one, declaring his passionate
regards for me, and complaining with fervour enough, of my reserves. But
of these I took not the least notice: for, as I had not written to him at
all, but upon a subject so general, I thought it was but right to let what
he wrote upon one so particular pass off as if I had never seen it; and
the rather, as I was not then at liberty (from the approbation his letters
met with) to break off the correspondence, unless I had assigned the true
reason for doing so. Besides, with all his respectful assiduities, it was
easy to observe, (if it had not been his general character) that his
temper is naturally haughty and violent; and I had seen too much of that
untractable spirit in my brother to like it in one who hoped to be still
more nearly related to me.</p>
<p>I had a little specimen of this temper of his upon the very occasion I
have mentioned: For after he had sent me a third particular letter with
the general one, he asked me the next time he came to Harlowe-Place, if I
had not received such a one from him?—I told him I should never
answer one so sent; and that I had waited for such an occasion as he had
now given me, to tell him so: I desired him therefore not to write again
on the subject; assuring him, that if he did, I would return both, and
never write another line to him.</p>
<p>You can't imagine how saucily the man looked; as if, in short, he was
disappointed that he had not made a more sensible impression upon me: nor,
when he recollected himself (as he did immediately), what a visible
struggle it cost him to change his haughty airs for more placid ones. But
I took no notice of either; for I thought it best to convince him, by the
coolness and indifference with which I repulsed his forward hopes (at the
same time intending to avoid the affectation of pride or vanity) that he
was not considerable enough in my eyes to make me take over-ready offence
at what he said, or at his haughty looks: in other words, that I had not
value enough for him to treat him with peculiarity either by smiles or
frowns. Indeed he had cunning enough to give me, undesignedly, a piece of
instruction which taught me this caution; for he had said in conversation
once, 'That if a man could not make a woman in courtship own herself
pleased with him, it was as much and oftentimes more to his purpose to
make her angry with him.'</p>
<p>I must break off here, but will continue the subject the very first
opportunity. Mean time, I am</p>
<p>Your most affectionate friend and servant, CL. HARLOWE.</p>
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