<p><SPAN name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005"></SPAN></p>
<h2> The Christmas Dinner </h2>
<p>Lo, now is come the joyful'st feast!<br/>
Let every man be jolly,<br/>
Eache roome with yvie leaves is drest,<br/>
And every post with holly.<br/>
Now all our neighbours' chimneys smoke,<br/>
And Christmas blocks are burning;<br/>
Their ovens they with bak't meats choke,<br/>
And all their spits are turning.<br/>
Without the door let sorrow lie,<br/>
And if, for cold, it hap to die,<br/>
We'll bury't in a Christmas pye,<br/>
And evermore be merry.<br/>
<br/>
—WITHERS'S Juvenilia.<br/></p>
<p>I had finished my toilet, and was loitering with Frank Bracebridge in the
library, when we heard a distant thwacking sound, which he informed me was
a signal for the serving up of the dinner. The Squire kept up old customs
in kitchen as well as hall; and the rolling-pin, struck upon the dresser
by the cook, summoned the servants to carry in the meats.</p>
<p>"Just in this nick the cook knock'd thrice,<br/>
And all the waiters in a trice<br/>
His summons did obey;<br/>
Each serving man, with dish in hand,<br/>
March'd boldly up, like our train-band,<br/>
Presented and away."*<br/></p>
<p>* Sir John Suckling.<br/></p>
<p>The dinner was served up in the great hall, where the Squire always held
his Christmas banquet. A blazing, crackling fire of logs had been heaped
on to warm the spacious apartment, and the flame went sparkling and
wreathing up the wide-mouthed chimney. The great picture of the crusader
and his white horse had been profusely decorated with greens for the
occasion; and holly and ivy had likewise been wreathed around the helmet
and weapons on the opposite wall, which I understood were the arms of the
same warrior. I must own, by the by, I had strong doubts about the
authenticity of painting and armour as having belonged to the crusader,
they certainly having the stamp of more recent days; but I was told that
the painting had been so considered time out of mind; and that as to the
armour, it had been found in a lumber room, and elevated to its present
situation by the Squire, who at once determined it to be the armour of the
family hero; and as he was absolute authority on all such subjects to his
own household, the matter had passed into current acceptation. A sideboard
was set out just under this chivalric trophy, on which was a display of
plate that might have vied (at least in variety) with Belshazzar's parade
of the vessels of the Temple: "flagons, cans, cups, beakers, goblets,
basins, and ewers;" the gorgeous utensils of good companionship, that had
gradually accumulated through many generations of jovial housekeepers.
Before these stood the two Yule candles, beaming like two stars of the
first magnitude: other lights were distributed in branches, and the whole
array glittered like a firmament of silver.</p>
<p>We were ushered into this banqueting scene with the sound of minstrelsy,
the old harper being seated on a stool beside the fireplace, and twanging
his instrument with a vast deal more power than melody. Never did
Christmas board display a more goodly and gracious assemblage of
countenances; those who were not handsome were, at least, happy; and
happiness is a rare improver of your hard-favoured visage.</p>
<p>I always consider an old English family as well worth studying as a
collection of Holbein's portraits or Albert Durer's prints. There is much
antiquarian lore to be acquired; much knowledge of the physiognomies of
former times. Perhaps it may be from having continually before their eyes
those rows of old family portraits, with which the mansions of this
country are stocked; certain it is, that the quaint features of antiquity
are often most faithfully perpetuated in these ancient lines; and I have
traced an old family nose through a whole picture-gallery, legitimately
handed down from generation to generation, almost from the time of the
Conquest. Something of the kind was to be observed in the worthy company
around me. Many of their faces had evidently originated in a Gothic age,
and been merely copied by succeeding generations; and there was one little
girl, in particular, of staid demeanour, with a high Roman nose, and an
antique vinegar aspect, who was a great favourite of the Squire's, being,
as he said, a Bracebridge all over, and the very counterpart of one of his
ancestors who figured in the court of Henry VIII.</p>
<p>The parson said grace, which was not a short, familiar one, such as is
commonly addressed to the Deity, in these unceremonious days; but a long,
courtly, well-worded one of the ancient school.</p>
<p>There was now a pause, as if something was expected; when suddenly the
butler entered the hall with some degree of bustle; he was attended by a
servant on each side with a large wax-light, and bore a silver dish, on
which was an enormous pig's head, decorated with rosemary, with a lemon in
its mouth, which was placed with great formality at the head of the table.
The moment this pageant made its appearance, the harper struck up a
flourish; at the conclusion of which the young Oxonian, on receiving a
hint from the Squire, gave, with an air of the most comic gravity, an old
carol, the first verse of which was as follows:</p>
<p>"Caput apri defero<br/>
Reddens laudes Domino.<br/>
The boar's head in hand bring I,<br/>
With garlands gay and rosemary.<br/>
I pray you all synge merily<br/>
Qui estis in convivio."<br/></p>
<p>Though prepared to witness many of these little eccentricities, from being
apprised of the peculiar hobby of mine host; yet, I confess, the parade
with which so odd a dish was introduced somewhat perplexed me, until I
gathered from the conversation of the Squire and the parson that it was
meant to represent the bringing in of the boar's head: a dish formerly
served up with much ceremony, and the sound of minstrelsy and song, at
great tables on Christmas Day. "I like the old custom," said the Squire,
"not merely because it is stately and pleasing in itself, but because it
was observed at the College of Oxford, at which I was educated. When I
hear the old song chanted, it brings to mind the time when I was young and
gamesome—and the noble old college-hall—and my fellow students
loitering about in their black gowns; many of whom, poor lads, are now in
their graves!"</p>
<p>The parson, however, whose mind was not haunted by such associations, and
who was always more taken up with the text than the sentiment, objected to
the Oxonian's version of the carol: which he affirmed was different from
that sung at college. He went on, with the dry perseverance of a
commentator, to give the college reading, accompanied by sundry
annotations: addressing himself at first to the company at large; but
finding their attention gradually diverted to other talk, and other
objects, he lowered his tone as his number of auditors diminished, until
he concluded his remarks, in an under voice, to a fat-headed old gentleman
next him, who was silently engaged in the discussion of a huge plateful of
turkey.*</p>
<p>*<SPAN href="#linknote-5" name="linknoteref-5" id="linknoteref-5"><b>5</b></SPAN> See Note E.<br/></p>
<p>The table was literally loaded with good cheer, and presented an epitome
of country abundance, in this season of overflowing larders. A
distinguished post was allotted to "ancient sirloin," as mine host termed
it; being, as he added, "the standard of old English hospitality, and a
joint of goodly presence, and full of expectation."</p>
<p>There were several dishes quaintly decorated, and which had evidently
something traditionary in their embellishments; but about which, as I did
not like to appear over curious, I asked no questions. I could not,
however, but notice a pie, magnificently decorated with peacocks'
feathers, in imitation of the tail of that bird, which overshadowed a
considerable tract of the table. This, the Squire confessed, with some
little hesitation, was a pheasant-pie, though a peacock-pie was certainly
the most authentical; but there had been such a mortality among the
peacocks this season, that he could not prevail upon himself to have one
killed.*</p>
<p>*<SPAN href="#linknote-6" name="linknoteref-6" id="linknoteref-6"><b>6</b></SPAN> See Note F.<br/></p>
<p>It would be tedious, perhaps, to my wiser readers, who may not have that
foolish fondness for odd and obsolete things to which I am a little given,
were I to mention the other makeshifts of this worthy old humourist, by
which he was endeavouring to follow up, though at humble distance, the
quaint customs of antiquity. I was pleased, however, to see the respect
shown to his whims by his children and relatives; who, indeed, entered
readily into the full spirit of them, and seemed all well versed in their
parts; having doubtless been present at many a rehearsal. I was amused,
too, at the air of profound gravity with which the butler and other
servants executed the duties assigned them, however eccentric. They had an
old-fashioned look; having, for the most part, been brought up in the
household, and grown into keeping with the antiquated mansion, and the
humours of its lord; and most probably looked upon all his whimsical
regulations as the established laws of honourable housekeeping. When the
cloth was removed, the butler brought in a huge silver vessel of rare and
curious workmanship, which he placed before the Squire. Its appearance was
hailed with acclamation; being the Wassail Bowl, so renowned in Christmas
festivity. The contents had been prepared by the Squire himself; for it
was a beverage in the skilful mixture of which he particularly prided
himself, alleging that it was too abstruse and complex for the
comprehension of an ordinary servant. It was a potation, indeed, that
might well make the heart of a toper leap within him; being composed of
the richest and raciest wines, highly spiced and sweetened, with roasted
apples bobbing about the surface.*</p>
<p>*<SPAN href="#linknote-7" name="linknoteref-7" id="linknoteref-7"><b>7</b></SPAN> See Note G.<br/></p>
<p>The old gentleman's whole countenance beamed with a serene look of
indwelling delight, as he stirred this mighty bowl. Having raised it to
his lips, with a hearty wish of a merry Christmas to all present, he sent
it brimming, around the board, for every one to follow his example,
according to the primitive style; pronouncing it "the ancient fountain of
good feeling, where all hearts met together."*</p>
<p>*<SPAN href="#linknote-8" name="linknoteref-8" id="linknoteref-8"><b>8</b></SPAN> See Note H.<br/></p>
<p>There was much laughing and rallying, as the honest emblem of Christmas
joviality circulated, and was kissed rather coyly by the ladies. When it
reached Master Simon he raised it in both hands, and with the air of a
boon companion struck up an old Wassail chanson:</p>
<p>The browne bowle,<br/>
The merry browne bowle,<br/>
As it goes round about-a,<br/>
Fill<br/>
Still,<br/>
Let the world say what it will,<br/>
And drink your fill all out-a.<br/>
<br/>
The deep canne,<br/>
The merry deep canne,<br/>
As thou dost freely quaff-a,<br/>
Sing,<br/>
Fling,<br/>
Be as merry as a king,<br/>
And sound a lusty laugh-a.*<br/></p>
<p>* From "Poor Robin's Almanack."<br/></p>
<p>Much of the conversation during dinner turned upon family topics, to which
I was a stranger. There was, however, a great deal of rallying of Master
Simon about some gay widow, with whom he was accused of having a
flirtation. This attack was commenced by the ladies; but it was continued
throughout the dinner by the fat-headed old gentleman next the parson,
with the persevering assiduity of a slow-hound; being one of those
long-winded jokers, who, though rather dull at starting game, are
unrivalled for their talents in hunting it down. At every pause in the
general conversation, he renewed his bantering in pretty much the same
terms; winking hard at me with both eyes whenever he gave Master Simon
what he considered a home thrust. The latter, indeed, seemed fond of being
teased on the subject, as old bachelors are apt to be; and he took
occasion to inform me, in an undertone, that the lady in question was a
prodigiously fine woman, and drove her own curricle.</p>
<p>The dinner-time passed away in this flow of innocent hilarity; and, though
the old hall may have resounded in its time with many a scene of broader
rout and revel, yet I doubt whether it ever witnessed more honest and
genuine enjoyment. How easy it is for one benevolent being to diffuse
pleasure around him; and how truly is a kind heart a fountain of gladness,
making everything in its vicinity to freshen into smiles! The joyous
disposition of the worthy Squire was perfectly contagious; he was happy
himself, and disposed to make all the world happy; and the little
eccentricities of his humour did but season, in a manner, the sweetness of
his philanthropy.</p>
<p>When the ladies had retired, the conversation, as usual, became still more
animated; many good things were broached which had been thought of during
dinner, but which would not exactly do for a lady's ear; and though I
cannot positively affirm that there was much wit uttered, yet I have
certainly heard many contests of rare wit produce much less laughter. Wit,
after all, is a mighty tart, pungent ingredient, and much too acid for
some stomachs; but honest good humour is the oil and wine of a merry
meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the
jokes are rather small, and the laughter abundant. The Squire told several
long stories of early college pranks and adventures, in some of which the
parson had been a sharer; though in looking at the latter, it required
some effort of imagination to figure such a little dark anatomy of a man
into the perpetrator of a madcap gambol. Indeed, the two college chums
presented pictures of what men may be made by their different lots in
life. The Squire had left the university to live lustily on his paternal
domains, in the vigorous enjoyment of prosperity and sunshine, and had
flourished on to a hearty and florid old age; whilst the poor parson, on
the contrary, had dried and withered away, among dusty tomes, in the
silence and shadows of his study.</p>
<p>Still there seemed to be a spark of almost extinguished fire, feebly
glimmering in the bottom of his soul; and as the Squire hinted at a sly
story of the parson and a pretty milkmaid, whom they once met on the banks
of the Isis, the old gentleman made an "alphabet of faces," which, as far
as I could decipher his physiognomy, I verily believe was indicative of
laughter;—indeed, I have rarely met with an old gentleman who took
absolutely offence at the imputed gallantries of his youth.</p>
<p>I found the tide of wine and wassail fast gaining on the dry land of sober
judgment. The company grew merrier and louder as their jokes grew duller.
Master Simon was in as chirping a humour as a grasshopper filled with dew;
his old songs grew of a warmer complexion, and he began to talk maudlin
about the widow. He even gave a long song about the wooing of a widow,
which he informed me he had gathered from an excellent black-letter work,
entitled "Cupid's Solicitor for Love," containing store of good advice for
bachelors, and which he promised to lend me. The first verse was to this
effect:</p>
<p>"He that will woo a widow must not dally,<br/>
He must make hay while the sun doth shine;<br/>
He must not stand with her, Shall I, Shall I?<br/>
But boldly say, Widow, thou must be mine."<br/></p>
<p>This song inspired the fat-headed old gentleman, who made several attempts
to tell a rather broad story out of Joe Miller, that was pat to the
purpose; but he always stuck in the middle, everybody recollecting the
latter part excepting himself. The parson, too, began to show the effects
of good cheer, having gradually settled down into a doze, and his wig
sitting most suspiciously on one side. Just at this juncture we were
summoned to the drawing-room, and, I suspect, at the private instigation
of mine host, whose joviality seemed always tempered with a proper love of
decorum.</p>
<p>After the dinner-table was removed, the hall was given up to the younger
members of the family, who, prompted to all kind of noisy mirth by the
Oxonian and Master Simon, made its old walls ring with their merriment, as
they played at romping games. I delight in witnessing the gambols of
children, and particularly at this happy holiday-season, and could not
help stealing out of the drawing-room on hearing one of their peals of
laughter. I found them at the game of blind-man's buff. Master Simon, who
was the leader of their revels, and seemed on all occasions to fulfil the
office of that ancient potentate, the Lord of Misrule,* was blinded in the
midst of the hall. The little beings were as busy about him as the mock
fairies about Falstaff; pinching him, plucking at the skirts of his coat,
and tickling him with straws. One fine blue-eyed girl of about thirteen,
with her flaxen hair all in beautiful confusion, her frolic face in a
glow, her frock half torn off her shoulders, a complete picture of a romp,
was the chief tormentor; and from the slyness with which Master Simon
avoided the smaller game, and hemmed this wild little nymph in corners,
and obliged her to jump shrieking over chairs, I suspected the rogue of
being not a whit more blinded than was convenient.</p>
<p>*<SPAN href="#linknote-9" name="linknoteref-9" id="linknoteref-9"><b>9</b></SPAN> See Note I.<br/></p>
<p>When I returned to the drawing-room, I found the company seated around the
fire, listening to the parson, who was deeply ensconced in a high-backed
oaken chair, the work of some cunning artificer of yore, which had been
brought from the library for his particular accommodation. From this
venerable piece of furniture, with which his shadowy figure and dark
weazen face so admirably accorded, he was dealing forth strange accounts
of popular superstitions and legends of the surrounding country, with
which he had become acquainted in the course of his antiquarian
researches. I am half inclined to think that the old gentleman was himself
somewhat tinctured with superstition, as men are very apt to be who live a
recluse and studious life in a sequestered part of the country, and pore
over black-letter tracts, so often filled with the marvellous and
supernatural. He gave us several anecdotes of the fancies of the
neighbouring peasantry, concerning the effigy of the crusader which lay on
the tomb by the church altar. As it was the only monument of the kind in
that part of the country, it had always been regarded with feelings of
superstition by the goodwives of the village. It was said to get up from
the tomb and walk the rounds of the churchyard in stormy nights,
particularly when it thundered; and one old woman, whose cottage bordered
on the churchyard, had seen it, through the windows of the church, when
the moon shone, slowly pacing up and down the aisles. It was the belief
that some wrong had been left unredressed by the deceased, or some
treasure hidden, which kept the spirit in a state of trouble and
restlessness. Some talked of gold and jewels buried in the tomb, over
which the spectre kept watch; and there was a story current of a sexton in
old times who endeavoured to break his way to the coffin at night; but
just as he reached it, received a violent blow from the marble hand of the
effigy, which stretched him senseless on the pavement. These tales were
often laughed at by some of the sturdier among the rustics, yet when night
came on, there were many of the stoutest unbelievers that were shy of
venturing alone in the footpath that led across the churchyard. From these
and other anecdotes that followed, the crusader appeared to be the
favourite hero of ghost stories throughout the vicinity. His picture,
which hung up in the hall, was thought by the servants to have something
supernatural about it; for they remarked that, in whatever part of the
hall you went, the eyes of the warrior were still fixed on you. The old
porter's wife, too, at the lodge, who had been born and brought up in the
family, and was a great gossip among the maid servants, affirmed that in
her young days she had often heard say that on Midsummer eve, when it is
well known all kinds of ghosts, goblins, and fairies become visible and
walk abroad, the crusader used to mount his horse, come down from his
picture, ride about the house, down the avenue, and so to the church to
visit the tomb; on which occasion the church door most civilly swung open
of itself: not that he needed it; for he rode through closed gates and
even stone walls, and had been seen by one of the dairymaids to pass
between two bars of the great park gate, making himself as thin as a sheet
of paper.</p>
<p>All these superstitions, I found, had been very much countenanced by the
Squire, who, though not superstitious himself, was very fond of seeing
others so. He listened to every goblin tale of the neighbouring gossips
with infinite gravity, and held the porter's wife in high favour on
account of her talent for the marvellous. He was himself a great reader of
old legends and romances, and often lamented that he could not believe in
them; for a superstitious person, he thought, must live in a kind of
fairyland.</p>
<p>Whilst we were all attention to the parson's stories, our ears were
suddenly assailed by a burst of heterogeneous sounds from the hall, in
which was mingled something like the clang of rude minstrelsy, with the
uproar of many small voices and girlish laughter. The door suddenly flew
open, and a train came trooping into the room, that might almost have been
mistaken for the breaking up of the court of Fairy. That indefatigable
spirit, Master Simon, in the faithful discharge of his duties as Lord of
Misrule, had conceived the idea of a Christmas mummery, or masking; and
having called in to his assistance the Oxonian and the young officer, who
were equally ripe for anything that should occasion romping and merriment,
they had carried it into instant effect. The old housekeeper had been
consulted; the antique clothes-presses and wardrobes rummaged and made to
yield up the relics of finery that had not seen the light for several
generations; the younger part of the company had been privately convened
from the parlour and hall, and the whole had been bedizened out, into a
burlesque imitation of an antique masque.*</p>
<p>*<SPAN href="#linknote-10" name="linknoteref-10" id="linknoteref-10"><b>10</b></SPAN> See Note J.<br/></p>
<p>Master Simon led the van, as "Ancient Christmas," quaintly apparelled in a
ruff, a short cloak, which had very much the aspect of one of the old
housekeeper's petticoats, and a hat that might have served for a village
steeple, and must indubitably have figured in the days of the Covenanters.
From under this his nose curved boldly forth, flushed with a frost-bitten
bloom, that seemed the very trophy of a December blast. He was accompanied
by the blue-eyed romp, dished up as "Dame Mince-Pie," in the venerable
magnificence of faded brocade, long stomacher, peaked hat, and high-heeled
shoes. The young officer appeared as Robin Hood, in a sporting dress of
Kendal green and a foraging cap with a gold tassel. The costume, to be
sure, did not bear testimony to deep research, and there was an evident
eye to the picturesque, natural to a young gallant in the presence of his
mistress. The fair Julia hung on his arm in a pretty rustic dress, as
"Maid Marian." The rest of the train had been metamorphosed in various
ways; the girls trussed up in the finery of the ancient belles of the
Bracebridge line, and the striplings bewhiskered with burnt cork, and
gravely clad in broad skirts, hanging sleeves, and full-bottomed wigs, to
represent the characters of Roast Beef, Plum Pudding, and other worthies
celebrated in ancient maskings. The whole was under the control of the
Oxonian, in the appropriate character of Misrule; and I observed that he
exercised rather a mischievous sway with his wand over the smaller
personages of the pageant.</p>
<p>The irruption of this motley crew, with beat of drum, according to ancient
custom, was the consummation of uproar and merriment. Master Simon covered
himself with glory by the stateliness with which, as Ancient Christmas, he
walked a minuet with the peerless, though giggling, Dame Mince-Pie. It was
followed by a dance of all the characters, which, from its medley of
costumes, seemed as though the old family portraits had skipped down from
their frames to join in the sport. Different centuries were figuring at
cross hands and right and left; the dark ages were cutting pirouettes and
rigadoons; and the days of Queen Bess jigging merrily down the middle,
through a line of succeeding generations.</p>
<p>The worthy Squire contemplated these fantastic sports, and this
resurrection of his old wardrobe, with the simple relish of childish
delight. He stood chuckling and rubbing his hands, and scarcely hearing a
word the parson said, notwithstanding that the latter was discoursing most
authentically on the ancient and stately dance at the Paon, or Peacock,
from which he conceived the minuet to be derived.* For my part, I was in a
continual excitement, from the varied scenes of whim and innocent gaiety
passing before me. It was inspiring to see wild-eyed frolic and
warm-hearted hospitality breaking out from among the chills and glooms of
winter, and old age throwing off his apathy, and catching once more the
freshness of youthful enjoyment. I felt also an interest in the scene,
from the consideration that these fleeting customs were posting fast into
oblivion, and that this was, perhaps, the only family in England in which
the whole of them were still punctiliously observed. There was a
quaintness, too, mingled with all this revelry that gave it a peculiar
zest; it was suited to the time and place; and as the old Manor House
almost reeled with mirth and wassail, it seemed echoing back the joviality
of long-departed years.</p>
<p>*<SPAN href="#linknote-11" name="linknoteref-11" id="linknoteref-11"><b>11</b></SPAN> See Note K.<br/></p>
<p>But enough of Christmas and its gambols; it is time for me to pause in
this garrulity. Methinks I hear the questions asked by my graver readers,
"To what purpose is all this?—how is the world to be made wiser by
this talk?" Alas! is there not wisdom enough extant for the instruction of
the world? And if not, are there not thousands of abler pens labouring for
its improvement?—It is so much pleasanter to please than to instruct—to
play the companion rather than the preceptor.</p>
<p>What, after all, is the mite of wisdom that I could throw into the mass of
knowledge? or how am I sure that my sagest deductions may be safe guides
for the opinions of others? But in writing to amuse, if I fail, the only
evil is my own disappointment. If, however, I can by any lucky chance, in
these days of evil, rub out one wrinkle from the brow of care, or beguile
the heavy heart of one moment of sorrow; if I can now and then penetrate
through the gathering film of misanthropy, prompt a benevolent view of
human nature, and make my reader more in good humour with his fellow
beings and himself, surely, surely, I shall not then have written entirely
in vain.</p>
<p>THE END.</p>
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