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<h2> CHAPTER XIV. </h2>
<p>For their after-luncheon coffee the party generally adjourned to the
library. Its windows looked east, and at this hour of the day it was the
coolest place in the whole house. It was a large room, fitted, during the
eighteenth century, with white painted shelves of an elegant design. In
the middle of one wall a door, ingeniously upholstered with rows of dummy
books, gave access to a deep cupboard, where, among a pile of letter-files
and old newspapers, the mummy-case of an Egyptian lady, brought back by
the second Sir Ferdinando on his return from the Grand Tour, mouldered in
the darkness. From ten yards away and at a first glance, one might almost
have mistaken this secret door for a section of shelving filled with
genuine books. Coffee-cup in hand, Mr. Scogan was standing in front of the
dummy book-shelf. Between the sips he discoursed.</p>
<p>"The bottom shelf," he was saying, "is taken up by an Encyclopaedia in
fourteen volumes. Useful, but a little dull, as is also Caprimulge's
'Dictionary of the Finnish Language'. The 'Biographical Dictionary' looks
more promising. 'Biography of Men who were Born Great', 'Biography of Men
who Achieved Greatness', 'Biography of Men who had Greatness Thrust upon
Them', and 'Biography of Men who were Never Great at All'. Then there are
ten volumes of 'Thom's Works and Wanderings', while the 'Wild Goose Chase,
a Novel', by an anonymous author, fills no less than six. But what's this,
what's this?" Mr. Scogan stood on tiptoe and peered up. "Seven volumes of
the 'Tales of Knockespotch'. The 'Tales of Knockespotch'," he repeated.
"Ah, my dear Henry," he said, turning round, "these are your best books. I
would willingly give all the rest of your library for them."</p>
<p>The happy possessor of a multitude of first editions, Mr. Wimbush could
afford to smile indulgently.</p>
<p>"Is it possible," Mr. Scogan went on, "that they possess nothing more than
a back and a title?" He opened the cupboard door and peeped inside, as
though he hoped to find the rest of the books behind it. "Phooh!" he said,
and shut the door again. "It smells of dust and mildew. How symbolical!
One comes to the great masterpieces of the past, expecting some miraculous
illumination, and one finds, on opening them, only darkness and dust and a
faint smell of decay. After all, what is reading but a vice, like drink or
venery or any other form of excessive self-indulgence? One reads to tickle
and amuse one's mind; one reads, above all, to prevent oneself thinking.
Still—the 'Tales of Knockespotch'..."</p>
<p>He paused, and thoughtfully drummed with his fingers on the backs of the
non-existent, unattainable books.</p>
<p>"But I disagree with you about reading," said Mary. "About serious
reading, I mean."</p>
<p>"Quite right, Mary, quite right," Mr. Scogan answered. "I had forgotten
there were any serious people in the room."</p>
<p>"I like the idea of the Biographies," said Denis. "There's room for us all
within the scheme; it's comprehensive."</p>
<p>"Yes, the Biographies are good, the Biographies are excellent," Mr Scogan
agreed. "I imagine them written in a very elegant Regency style—Brighton
Pavilion in words—perhaps by the great Dr. Lempriere himself. You
know his classical dictionary? Ah!" Mr. Scogan raised his hand and let it
limply fall again in a gesture which implied that words failed him. "Read
his biography of Helen; read how Jupiter, disguised as a swan, was
'enabled to avail himself of his situation' vis-a-vis to Leda. And to
think that he may have, must have written these biographies of the Great!
What a work, Henry! And, owing to the idiotic arrangement of your library,
it can't be read."</p>
<p>"I prefer the 'Wild Goose Chase'," said Anne. "A novel in six volumes—it
must be restful."</p>
<p>"Restful," Mr. Scogan repeated. "You've hit on the right word. A 'Wild
Goose Chase' is sound, but a bit old-fashioned—pictures of clerical
life in the fifties, you know; specimens of the landed gentry; peasants
for pathos and comedy; and in the background, always the picturesque
beauties of nature soberly described. All very good and solid, but, like
certain puddings, just a little dull. Personally, I like much better the
notion of 'Thom's Works and Wanderings'. The eccentric Mr. Thom of Thom's
Hill. Old Tom Thom, as his intimates used to call him. He spent ten years
in Thibet organising the clarified butter industry on modern European
lines, and was able to retire at thirty-six with a handsome fortune. The
rest of his life he devoted to travel and ratiocination; here is the
result." Mr. Scogan tapped the dummy books. "And now we come to the 'Tales
of Knockespotch'. What a masterpiece and what a great man! Knockespotch
knew how to write fiction. Ah, Denis, if you could only read Knockespotch
you wouldn't be writing a novel about the wearisome development of a young
man's character, you wouldn't be describing in endless, fastidious detail,
cultured life in Chelsea and Bloomsbury and Hampstead. You would be trying
to write a readable book. But then, alas! owing to the peculiar
arrangement of our host's library, you never will read Knockespotch."</p>
<p>"Nobody could regret the fact more than I do," said Denis.</p>
<p>"It was Knockespotch," Mr. Scogan continued, "the great Knockespotch, who
delivered us from the dreary tyranny of the realistic novel. My life,
Knockespotch said, is not so long that I can afford to spend precious
hours writing or reading descriptions of middle-class interiors. He said
again, 'I am tired of seeing the human mind bogged in a social plenum; I
prefer to paint it in a vacuum, freely and sportively bombinating.'"</p>
<p>"I say," said Gombauld, "Knockespotch was a little obscure sometimes,
wasn't he?"</p>
<p>"He was," Mr. Scogan replied, "and with intention. It made him seem even
profounder than he actually was. But it was only in his aphorisms that he
was so dark and oracular. In his Tales he was always luminous. Oh, those
Tales—those Tales! How shall I describe them? Fabulous characters
shoot across his pages like gaily dressed performers on the trapeze. There
are extraordinary adventures and still more extraordinary speculations.
Intelligences and emotions, relieved of all the imbecile preoccupations of
civilised life, move in intricate and subtle dances, crossing and
recrossing, advancing, retreating, impinging. An immense erudition and an
immense fancy go hand in hand. All the ideas of the present and of the
past, on every possible subject, bob up among the Tales, smile gravely or
grimace a caricature of themselves, then disappear to make place for
something new. The verbal surface of his writing is rich and fantastically
diversified. The wit is incessant. The..."</p>
<p>"But couldn't you give us a specimen," Denis broke in—"a concrete
example?"</p>
<p>"Alas!" Mr. Scogan replied, "Knockespotch's great book is like the sword
Excalibur. It remains struck fast in this door, awaiting the coming of a
writer with genius enough to draw it forth. I am not even a writer, I am
not so much as qualified to attempt the task. The extraction of
Knockespotch from his wooden prison I leave, my dear Denis, to you."</p>
<p>"Thank you," said Denis.</p>
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