<SPAN name="startofbook"></SPAN>
<h1> VICE </h1>
<h3> IN ITS </h3>
<h2> PROPER SHAPE; </h2>
<h3> OR, THE </h3>
<h3> Wonderful and Melancholy </h3>
<h2> TRANSFORMATION </h2>
<h3> OF SEVERAL </h3>
<h3> <span class="sc">Naughty Masters and Misses</span> </h3>
<h3> INTO THOSE </h3>
<h3> Contemptible <span class="sc">Animals</span> which they most<br/> resemble in Disposition. </h3>
<br/>
<h3> Printed for the Benefit of all <span class="sc">good Boys</span><br/> and <span class="sc">Girls</span>. </h3>
<br/>
<hr class="title">
<h3> <span class="sc">The</span> FIRST <i>WORCESTER</i> <span class="sc">Edition</span>. </h3>
<hr class="title">
<br/>
<h4>
<span class="sc">Printed</span> at <span class="sc">Worcester</span>, <i>Massachusetts</i>,<br/>
<span class="sc">By</span> ISAIAH THOMAS,<br/>
Sold at his <span class="sc">Bookstore</span>, and by <span class="sc">Thomas</span><br/>
and <span class="sc">Andrews</span> in <span class="sc">Boston</span>.
</h4>
<h4>
MDCCLXXXIX.
</h4>
<br/>
<hr class="med">
<br/>
<h2> INTRODUCTION. </h2>
<p><span class="dropcap">I</span><span class="firstword">t</span> was the opinion of the wise <i>Pythagoras</i>, and of some other
philosophers, that the souls of men, women, and children, after their
death, are sent into other human bodies, and sometimes into those of
beasts and birds, or even insects; and that they hereby change their
residence either to their advantage or disadvantage, according to their
good or ill behaviour in their preceding state of existence. This
singular opinion still prevails in some part of the Eastindies; and
that to such a degree that they make it criminal to put any animal to
death: "For how do you know, say they, but in killing a sheep, a bird,
or a fish, you murder your father, or your brother, or some other
deceased friend or relation, whose soul may inhabit the body of the
animal you so wantonly destroy?" An officer in the service of the
Eastindia Company, and a particular friend of mine, had like to have
lost his life by not paying a proper deference to this whimsical
notion; for being some time in that part of the country, and happening
to shoot a heron, he was immediately arrested and prosecuted for it by
one of the natives. The man insisted that the heron was inhabited by
the soul of his father; and supported his point so much to the
satisfaction of the court, that had it not been for the friendly
assistance of a Jew, who appeared as the captain's advocate, he would
certainly have been condemned. The Jew, allowed that what the plaintiff
had asserted was strictly true, but pleaded in behalf of his client,
that the soul of his, the said client's grandmother, resided in the
body of a fish, which the said client had often seen and knew perfectly
well; and that at the time when the heron was killed, the said heron
was going to dart upon the said fish to devour it; so that the said
client being strongly moved thereunto by his natural affection,
instantly shot the said heron purely to save the life of his
grandmother. This plea was admitted, and the captain was immediately
discharged by order of the court. It is well for the reader that the
captain escaped as he did: for if he had been hanged for murdering the
heron, it is more than probable that it would have been out of his
power to have returned to England with that curious little treatise
which I have now taken the pains to translate into English for the
amusement of the little masters and misses of Great Britain.</p>
<p>It contains a diverting account of several naughty boys and girls, who,
after their death (which was generally owing to their own folly) were
degraded into such animals as they most resembled when alive. I cannot
pretend to say who was the author; for his modesty was so great, that
he has not inserted his name in the title page.</p>
<p>The captain tells me, it is the opinion of some of the Indian criticks,
that he was an academy-keeper, who wrote for the instruction of his
scholars; and of others, that he was a fond father who wrote for the
entertainment of his children; but as it is very possible that both of
them may be mistaken, I shall not presume to decide which of them have
been so fortunate as to discover the truth in a matter of such evident
importance.</p>
<p>I have only to observe, that as long proper names (such as those of the
Indians) would have been too crabbed for most of my little readers, I
have put myself to the amazing trouble of substituting English names in
their room, which are expressive of the characters of the persons to
whom they are applied. After humbly begging the author's pardon, for
taking this liberty with his ingenious performance, I must desire all
the masters and misses who read my translation of it, to be extremely
careful to avoid all the crimes and follies which it was intended to
correct; otherwise, if my friend the captain (who will probably hear of
their ill behaviour) should happen to speak of it, when he makes
another voyage to India, and it should by any means reach the ear of my
author, we may perhaps have a second volume, containing a mortifying
account of the surprising and lamentable transmigrations of some of the
naughty boys and girls in England.</p>
<p class="chapter">
CHAP. I.</p>
<p class="head">
<i>Of the wonderful Transmigration of</i> Jack Idle <i>into the body of
an ass</i>.</p>
<div class="figcenter"><ANTIMG src="images/001.jpg" alt="A donkey" width-obs="500" height-obs="412"></div>
<p><span class="dropcap">O</span><span class="firstword">ne</span> morning after breakfast I took a walk into the fields with my seven
dear children; which I did, not only for the benefit of their health,
but as a reward for their good behaviour. They always obey me and their
affectionate mother with the utmost cheerfulness; and I, in return, am
always ready to indulge them as far as my duty and their interest will
permit. When we had travelled about three miles from the city, where
Divine Providence has fixed our abode, we came to a range of little
tenements, or I should rather have called them sheds, over the midst of
which (and it was likewise the largest) was fixed a board, on which was
written in lofty capitals WAL*KINBEHOL*DANDLE*ARN,<SPAN href="#note1" name="noteref1"><sup>1</sup></SPAN> which signifies,
<i>Walk in</i>, <i>behold</i>, <i>and learn</i>. While I was musing
upon this strange inscription, and wondering what curiosities there
could be in such contemptible little huts, the door of the middlemost
was suddenly opened by a Bramin, who with the greatest politeness and
affability, desired us to walk in, assuring me, that notwithstanding
the mean appearance of his little tenements, there were several things
to be seen in them, which might contribute to the entertainment and
instruction of my pretty fellow travellers. "I am, said he, as you may
perceive by my habit, a Bramin, and my name is <i>Wiseman</i>. All the
time I can spare from the worship of my Maker, and the contemplation of
that astonishing wisdom and beneficence which he has displayed in his
works of creation and providence, I cheerfully devote to the service of
my fellow mortals, and particularly of the younger and unexperienced
part of them. The most valuable service I can render them is to conduct
them into the paths of virtue and discretion. For this purpose, having
been gifted with the faculty of distinguishing those animals which are
now animated by the souls of such human beings as formerly degraded
themselves to a level with the unthinking brutes, I have taken the
pains to provide a collection of beasts, birds, &c. most of which are
inhabited by the souls of some naughty masters or misses, who died in
the neighbourhood, and it is possible were not unknown to your little
companions. It was a proverb among the ancient Bramins, that <i>Example
is more powerful than precept</i>, and it is the common language of
mankind to this day, <i>I understand what I hear, but I believe what I
see</i>. It would not be amiss therefore, if you were to accompany the
young gentlemen and ladies into my little appartments, that they may be
eye witnesses to the mortifying consequences of an ill spent and
vicious life, even to those who have not arrived at the age of
manhood."</p>
<p>We accepted the offer with the utmost gratitude, and eagerly inquired
what we had to pay for admittance. But the good Bramin assured us, that
he never made a traffick of the little wisdom he had to communicate,
and that the most acceptable recompense we could make him, was, to
bestow what we could prudently spare upon such real objects of charity
as might afterwards fall in our way:—"For mercy and benevolence, said
he, are the darling attributes of heaven, and those who are most
distinguished for the practice of them, bear the nearest resemblance to
their Maker, and will therefore receive the largest portion of his
favour both in this world, and in that which is to come."</p>
<p>The first room we were conducted into was the habitation of a little
ass, who, as soon as we entered the place, began to bray, and kick up
his heels, at a most violent rate; but, upon the appearance of Mr.
Wiseman (which I have before observed was the Bramin's name) he thought
proper to compose himself, and stood as quiet as a lamb.—"This
stubborn little beast said our kind conductor, is now animated by the
soul of the late master <i>Idle</i>. In his life-time he possessed all
the bad properties of the animal you see before you; so that, to speak
the truth, he now appears in his proper shape. His rough coat of hair
is a very suitable emblem of the ruggedness of his disposition; and his
long and clumsy ears not only denotes his stupidity, but, as they
afford a very secure and convenient hold to any one who has occasion to
catch him when he runs loose in the fields, they sufficiently intimate
that he was always open to the ill advice of his play-fellows. If the
meanest and most dirty boy in the neighbourhood was in want of a
companion, or rather a tool, to assist him in his mischievous pranks,
he had nothing to do but to make his application to <i>Jack Idle</i>;
for foolish Jack (as they truly called him) was at the beck of every
mischievous rogue; and when the mischief was done, he was always left,
like a stupid ass as he was, to bear the burden of it. His father had
money; and Jack's great pride was to be complimented by his raggamuffin
companions as the cook of the game. Once (I remember it perfectly well)
three bargemen's boys having a violent inclination to plunder a pippin
tree, which was the property of farmer <i>Crusty</i>, they gave master
Jacky such a tempting account of the wish'd for prize, and held forth
so liberally in praise of his courage and ingenuity, that they
prevailed upon him to be not only a party, but the commander in chief
in this hopeful enterprize. <ANTIMG src="images/002.jpg" alt="A house and a tree with a man standing under the tree" width-obs="500" height-obs="434" align="left" hspace="20" vspace="20">But, as such
adventures generally terminate in the most mortifying disappointment,
the young plunderers were discovered by the farmer before they had
gathered half their booty. The three tarpaulins being at the bottom of
the tree made their escape without much difficulty; but Jack, who, to
support the dignity of his new command, had ascended almost to the top,
was unfortunately taken prisoner. The consequence was, that his father
(who had to deal with a wretch who was as crusty
by nature as he was by name) after being obliged to pay ten times the
value of the fruit, conducted his son to Mr. <i>Sharp</i>, the
gentleman who had the trouble of his education, from whom he received a
severe flogging in the presence of all his school fellows, as a very
suitable reward of his stupid ambition. From this account of him you
will naturally conclude that he was no great friend to learning; and,
indeed, so remarkable was his aversion to the useful arts of reading
and writing, that his greatest improvement amounted only to an
indifferent knowledge of the alphabet, and the poor accomplishment of
being just able to scrawl his own name in characters which were
scarcely legible. He was equally distinguished for his speed and
fidelity when his parents sent him on an errand; for he could hardly
make shift to saunter a mile in an hour, and when he arrived at the
place of his destination, he usually forgot three fourths of his
message, and endeavoured to supply the defect by some blundering tale
of his own invention. He was once dispatched by his father, in great
haste, to a gentleman who lived not a quarter of a mile off, to request
the favour of his company, in half an hour's time, to settle matters
with a grazer, of whom they had purchased several head of cattle; when
Jack arrived at the gentleman's house, which he actually did in the
short space of an hour and a half, he rubbed his eyes, and scratched
his head, and informed him that his father wanted him sadly, and that
he must come directly to speak with the <i>brazier</i>, who, he said,
had waited for him above two hours. It was very happy for his parents
(whether they thought so or not) that Jack's sudden exit out of the
world, in the thirteenth year of his age, effectually prevented him
from bringing any material disgrace upon his family; which he certainly
would have done, if he had lived to be his own master. The occasion of
his death was as follows:—One morning, instead of making the best of
his way to school, (which he was constantly ordered to do) happening
very luckily to be overtaken by <i>Tom Sharper</i>, and <i>Dick
Lackwit</i>, they prudently agreed to avoid the intolerable drudgery of
the hornbook, by playing truant and indulging themselves in the
profitable diversions of sitting all day on the bank of a lonesome
brook to fish for minows; they had pretty good sport, as they called
it, for the first hour; but then Mr. <i>Sharper's</i> line happening to
be entangled among some large weeds, from which he could not disengage
it as he stood upon the brink; and as he was naturally too great an
adept in the science of self preservation, to expose himself to danger,
when he could persuade another to supply his place; he requested the
favour of master <i>Idle</i> to ascend a sloping tree which stood upon
the bank, and from thence to descend gradually upon a hanging branch,
the small end of which almost touched his line. Poor Jack was somewhat
unwilling to venture upon the experiment; but a little more persuasion,
which was supported by a few surly menaces, soon vanquished every
objection. He accordingly ascended the tree; but when he attempted to
seat himself upon the hanging branch the small twigs, upon which he
stupidly fastened his hold for that purpose, suddenly gave way, and
down he plunged into the middle of the brook, where, after many eager
and ineffectual
<ANTIMG src="images/003.jpg" alt="A man, holding a staff, standing in the woods" width-obs="500" height-obs="417" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="right">
struggles to recover the bank, he sunk to the bottom, and rose no more.
The last words he spoke were, <i>Oh! my dear father! my dear mother! I
wish I had</i>—He meant I suppose, that he wished he had followed
their good advice; but the water, which ran very fast into his mouth,
suddenly stopped his speech, and nothing more was heard but a faint
bubbling in his throat, and two or three desperate plunges at the
bottom of the water, to preserve that life which fell a melancholy
sacrifice to his own folly and disobedience!—One would think that such
a shocking catastrophe would be sufficient to subdue ten times the
stubbornness and stupidity for which master <i>Idle</i> was so
remarkable: But as we are too apt to forget the eager promises, and
laugh at the self condemning reflections, which we have made in the
hour of distress, I need not mention it as a prodigy, that the soul by
which this little beast is animated, is still infected with the same
vicious disposition, which disgraced and punished it, when it occupied
the body of <i>Jack Idle</i>."</p>
<p>To convince us of the truth of what he said, the good Bramin addressed
himself to the ass before us, and assured him that if he was sincerely
inclined to behave as he ought to do, and forsake the follies he had
been guilty of in his former state of existence, he should again have
the honour to ascend to the rank of human beings. But the stubborn
little animal (who perfectly understood what he said) first leered at
him with the most stupid resentment in the world, and then fell a
braying and kicking with greater violence than when we first entered
the room. "Soho! said Mr. Wiseman, is that your manners, my boy;"—and
then giving him two or three hearty strokes, "well, well, said he, if
this is all the return I am to have for my generous care of you, I will
certainly sell you to the first sandman I see, who will bestow upon you
plenty of drubbing, plenty of fasting, and (what you will relish the
worst of all) a never failing plenty of work."</p>
<br/>
<hr align="left" noshade size="2" width="40%">
<SPAN name="note1"> </SPAN>
<p class="foot">
<SPAN href="#noteref1"><sup>1</sup></SPAN> The captain informs that this inscription is in the language
of the ancient <i>Bramins</i>.</p>
<p class="chapter">
CHAP. II.</p>
<p class="head">
<i>An Account of the surprizing Transmigration of Master</i>
<span class="sc">Anthony Greedyguts</span>, <i>into the Body of a Pig</i>.</p>
<div class="figcenter"><ANTIMG src="images/004.jpg" alt="A man standing by a hog who is lying on the ground" width-obs="500" height-obs="416"></div>
<p><span class="dropcap">T</span><span class="firstword">he</span> next room into which we were conducted, contained a fat little pig,
who, as soon as we had entered the door, began to cry <i>a week</i>,
<i>a week</i>, <i>a week</i>, in such a squeaking tone as grated our
ears in the most disagreeable manner: but as soon as Mr. <i>Wiseman</i>
produced his wand, he lowered his pipes to a few sulky grunts, and then
became as still as a mouse.—"This young pig, said the venerable
Bramin, is now animated by the soul of the late master
<i>Greedyguts</i>, who died about two months ago, and has left a number
of relations behind him in almost every town you can mention. Poor
foolish youth, if he had been less fond of his belly, and more
attentive to his book, and to the good advice of his parents, his soul
would not have been confined as it now is, in the body of that nasty,
greedy, and noisy little animal which you see before you. But, to
represent his character in its proper colours, he was always a hoggish
little fellow, and disdained every other sort of labour but that of
lifting his hand to his mouth. He loved eating much better than
reading; and would prefer a tart, a custard, a plumcake, or even a
slice of gingerbread, or an apple, to the prettiest, and most useful
little book you could present him with; so that if his parents had
purchased a hundred books for him, one after the other, he would have
readily parted with them to the first crafty boy he met with, who had
any trash to spare by way of exchange. It cannot therefore be
considered as a miracle, notwithstanding the extraordinary care and
expense which his friends bestowed upon his education, that he always
continued a blockhead, and was such a perfect dunce at eleven years of
age, that instead of being able to read and write as a young gentleman
ought to do, he could scarcely tell his letters. He was equally
remarkable for his selfishness; for if he had twenty cheesecakes in his
box, or his pockets full of oranges and apples, he would sooner have
given a tooth out of his head than have parted with one of them, even
to his own brother or sister. The consequence was (and indeed what else
could have been expected) that he was despised and hated by all his
play fellows, and distinguished by the mortifying title of <i>Tony
Pig</i>; an animal which he perfectly resembled in his nastiness as
well as greediness. For if he was dressed in the morning as clean as
hands could make him, he would, by running into puddles and kennels,
and rolling upon the ground, become as black as a chimney sweeper
before noon; and I sincerely believe that he thought it as great a
punishment to have his hair combed, or to
<ANTIMG src="images/005.jpg" alt="A man sitting on the ground in front of a house" width-obs="500" height-obs="428" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="left">
wash his hands and face, as to be whipped; for he would cry and
struggle as much to avoid the one as to escape the other. But, to ease
his parents of their heavy apprehensions upon his account, and to rid
the world of such a plague and disgrace, as he certainly would have
been, if
he had lived to years of maturity, kind death was pleased to dispatch
him in the twelfth year of his age, by the help of a dozen penny
custards, which he greedily conveyed down his throat at one meal, and
thereby gorged his stomach, and threw himself into a mortal fever.
After his exit, his soul, as I have already informed you, was hurried
into the body of this little pig; a station which perfectly corresponds
with his disposition. Nay, so great is his stubbornness (which is
another hateful quality in which he resembled the animal before you)
that his punishment has not made the least alteration in his temper;
for, if we were to get his soul replaced into a human body, upon his
promise of immediate amendment, he will not submit even to make such a
promise. To convince you that I have not misrepresented his character,
I'll try the experiment immediately." Accordingly, the good Bramin
asked him before us all, if, upon the condition above-mentioned, he
would leave off his greedy and selfish behaviour. To this he
condescended, though with a visible reluctance, to grunt, <i>aye,
aye</i>.<ANTIMG src="images/006.jpg" alt="A man standing in a room with a table and chair" width-obs="500" height-obs="417" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="right"> "But how long will it be, said Mr. Wiseman, before you perform
your promise?" <i>A week, a week, a week</i>, cried the pig. "And how
long will it be before you lay aside your nastiness, and maintain such
a cleanly and decent appearance as becomes a gentleman?" <i>A week, a
week</i>, said the dirty creature. "And how long will it be before you
respect the good advice of your parents, and prefer the improvement of
your understanding to the gratification of your appetite?" <i>A week, a
week, a week</i>, replied the stubborn little animal. "In short, said
the worthy Bramin, if I were to repeat the same questions to him a
month, or even a year hence, I should not prevail upon him to say
<i>now</i>; but his constant answer would be, <i>a week, a week, a
week</i>. I believe, therefore, that instead of reforming him (which is
an event that would afford me the most sensible pleasure) we shall at
last be forced to roast and eat him; for, as long as he continues in
his present way of thinking, it is very certain that his existence can
be of no service either to himself, or any one else." Thus, then, said
he, I have troubled you with a particular account of this stupid little
pig; and I sincerely hope that the story will prevail upon my young
visitors to be cleanly in their appearance, temperate in their diet,
and kind and obliging to every body; for whosoever pursues a contrary
behaviour, is in reality a <i>hog</i>, though he bears the name of a
gentleman.</p>
<p class="chapter">
CHAP. III.</p>
<p class="head">
<i>The Transmigration of Miss</i> <span class="sc">Dorothy Chatterfast</span> <i>into the Body
of a Magpie.</i></p>
<div class="figcenter"><ANTIMG src="images/007.jpg" alt="A woman standing in front of a large bird cage that contains a large bird" width-obs="500" height-obs="425"></div>
<p><span class="dropcap">I</span><span class="firstword">n</span> one corner of the room where poor <i>Tony Pig</i> was confined, hung
a large cage, which was the prison of a pert young magpie. As soon as
my son <i>Jacky</i> who was the youngest of the company, and remarkably
fond of birds, had saluted her by the well known appellation of <i>mag,
poor mag</i>; she wagged her tail with surprising agility, and began to
chatter in such an elevated tone, and with such a rapid pronunciation,
that I was heartily glad when the kind Bramin commanded silence. "The
body of this party coloured, loquacious bird, said he, is the
involuntary residence of the late Miss Dorothy Chatterfast; who was a
most notorious little gossip, and belonged to a family which is as
numerous as that of the <i>Greedyguts</i>. To do her justice, she was a
handsome little girl, and as brisk and notable as any young miss in her
neighbourhood. But to her own misfortune, and the unspeakable vexation
of most persons who came within the sphere of her observation, her
little tongue was as active as her hands. She learned to talk very
early, and so speedy was her improvement in the art of prattling, that,
before she was three years old, she could lisp out a tale in very
intelligible language. Her parents were so unwise as to encourage her
in this mischievous kind of ingenuity, not only from the pleasure they
took in hearing how fast she learned to speak, but because they
considered it as an infallible token that she would, in time, prove an
excellent wit and a notable manager. It is not, therefore, to be
wondered at, that she took a great deal of notice of every thing which
passed in the family, and particularly in the kitchen. If any of the
servants accidentally broke a teacup, or saucer, a glass, &c. or
received an unexpected visit from some of their acquaintance, or
relations, when her parents happened to be absent from home; she never
failed to inform them of it, the first opportunity, with many
aggravating circumstances of her own invention; for which they
generally complimented her, by way of reward, with the flattering
titles of <i>a good child</i>, <i>a sweet little dear</i>, and <i>a
careful little girl</i>. By this officious impertinence she frequently
got the servants reprimanded, and sometimes dismissed; so that by
degrees they all began to fear and hate her. She was equally attentive
to every trifle which happened at the school, where she was daily sent
to learn the art of reading, and the use of her needle; for the moment
she came home, and before she had well entered the parlour door, and
made her courtesy, her little tongue began to rattle like a mill
clack."—"Mamma, said she, Tommy Careless was flogged for tearing his
book, Jackey
<ANTIMG src="images/008.jpg" alt="Two women, one standing and one seated" width-obs="500" height-obs="415" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="right">
Fidget because he was a naughty boy and would not sit still, Polly
Giddybrains, for losing her needle and thread paper, and, Lord bless
me! my ma'am was so cross, that she was going to put the nasty fool's
cap on <i>my</i> head, only for miscalling the first word in my
lesson."—"In short she was such a notorious telltale, that she was soon
dignified by her school fellows with the honourable appellation of
<i>Dolly Cagmag</i>. As she advanced in years, the habit grew upon her;
and when she was old enough to be introduced into company, and go a
visiting, she carried on the same mischievous and despicable trade
abroad, in which she had met with such encouragement at home. Whatever
she saw or heard in one place, she would be sure to report it in
another; so that all the masters and misses who had the mortification
to fall into her company, considered themselves as under the malicious
inspection of a meddlesome spy; which they had the more reason to do,
because she seldom failed to embellish her informations with the
recital of several unfavourable circumstances of her own invention."
"Indeed, Mr. Wiseman, said Betsey, my youngest daughter, what you have
told us is exactly true; for I have been in company with Miss
Chatterfast several times, and I remember once in particular that when
Master <i>Sprightly</i>, who was a merry young spark, had stolen a kiss
from Miss <i>Patty Sweetlips</i>, though the poor young lady blushed as
red as scarlet, and seemed to be greatly displeased at the freedom
which had been taken with her, Miss Chatterfast was so mischievous as
to represent her to all her acquaintance as a bold little hussey, who
loved to be kissed by the young gentlemen. When poor innocent Patty was
informed of the character which had been so unjustly fixed upon her,
she was ashamed to stir out of doors, and laid it so much to heart I
thought she would have cried her eyes out." "This was very unkind
indeed, replied the good Bramin; and yet, I sincerely believe that all
the mischief her tongue was guilty of, was more owing to her vanity and
that talkative humour in which she had always been encouraged from her
infancy, than to any real malice in her heart. She had been long
accustomed to speak without thinking, and naturally imagined that her
impertinent loquacity would be as much admired and applauded by other
people as by her thoughtless parents. I have the satisfaction, however,
to observe that you are perfectly sensible of her mistake, though she
had not the good fortune to be so herself. If she had lived much
longer, it is very probable that the many slights and affronts she must
necessarily have met with, would have opened her eyes: For those who by
their impertinent censures set the whole world at defiance, may
reasonably expect to find an enemy in every house they enter. But her
meddlesome, inquisitive disposition proved to be the accidental means
of shortening her days, before she had experience enough to correct it:
for, one evening, Mr. <i>Kindly</i>, a wealthy merchant, indulged all
the young masters and misses in the neighbourhood with a splendid ball
at his own house: Miss <i>Chatterfast</i>, though she had at that time
a severe cold upon her, was so desirous of embracing such a favourable
opportunity of making her remarks upon the behaviour and different
dresses of the company, and thereby furnishing herself with an ample
stock for conversation, that she could not be prevailed upon by her too
indulgent parents to spend the evening at home. The consequence was
such as might naturally have been expected. By first over heating
herself at the ball, and afterwards exposing herself to the night air
in her return home, her cold, (which was bad enough before) suddenly
increased into a violent fever which hurried her to the grave in the
short space of five or six days. Though her untimely death excited the
transient pity of most of her acquaintance, very few of them, I
believe, were really sorry to part with her. But notwithstanding that
violent propensity to exercise her tongue, which she too frequently
indulged to the vexation of her neighbours, she had a large fund of
good nature at the bottom; so that I am in hopes that she will soon be
restored to the rank of human beings, and have an opportunity of
employing her speaking faculties with greater discretion and in a more
agreeable manner than she did before. Her former loquacity (as I have
already observed) was almost entirely owing to that vanity and want of
thought, in which she had been too much encouraged by the simple
fondness of her parents; but the low station in which she now appears,
will probably teach her to be more humble and considerate, and of
consequence to check that talkative humour which in her past lifetime
formed the most remarkable part of her character." Poor mag (who, I
suppose, understood every word the Bramin said) wagged her tail a
little, as we left the room, but did not think proper to utter a single
chatter.</p>
<p class="chapter">
CHAP. IV.</p>
<p class="head">
<i>The Transmigration of Master</i> <span class="sc">Stephen Churl</span> <i>into the Body of
a little Cur.</i></p>
<div class="figcenter"><ANTIMG src="images/009.jpg" alt="A man and a dog" width-obs="500" height-obs="417"></div>
<p><span class="dropcap">I</span><span class="firstword">n</span> the next apartment we entered, we saw a little snarling cur, who
immediately saluted us with a surly grin, and barked and yelped as if
he would have torn the house down. He was indeed very securely chained
to a small kennel; but my daughter Betsey happening to venture too near
him, he snapped at her and tore her apron. "Take care, miss, said Mr.
Wiseman, and keep out of his reach; for though he is but a cur, he is
very mischievous. His body is the contemptible residence of the soul of
the late Master <i>Churl</i>. Poor miserable youth! he was a wrangler
from his infancy; and his litigious temper gave him as just a title to
the name of <i>Churl</i> as his birth. Even when he was a child in
arms, he was such a peevish and noisy little brat, that his mamma could
not find a woman who would undertake the trouble of nursing him; and as
soon as he was able to speak and run alone, he began to wrangle with
his brothers and sisters, upon the most trifling occasions, and seldom
forgot to support his argument by exerting his little hands and heels
with the most malicious activity; so that to mortify his pride, and
give a check to his ill nature, they bestowed upon him the disgraceful
title of young <i>Kick and Cuff</i>. Poor Stephen, however bid defiance
to all their ridicule, and was so far from being reclaimed by it, that
his turbulence increased in proportion to his strength and stature. He
was afterwards as quarrelsome at school as he had been at home; and in
every party at taw, or trap ball, or any other innocent diversion in
which he happened to be engaged, he was always remarkable for
disturbing the game by his frivolous disputes: Nay, when he was only a
looker on, he would betray his wrangling impertinent temper, by calling
out, such a one does not play fairly; such a one counts too many; and
such a one goes in before his turn. The usual reward he received for
his trouble was, a handsome drubbing, sometimes from his master, but
more frequently from his school fellows. He was equally notorious for
his great forwardness to give a challenge, upon the slightest
provocation, and very often from mere wantonness; and sometimes he
would very unfairly begin an engagement without giving any previous
notice, that he might make sure of the first blow. But his strength and
skill being unequal to his pretensions, the many mortifying defeats he
received, soon taught him the despicable cunning of assaulting none but
those, who, he believed, were either too weak to contend with him, or
too cowardly to stand in their own defence. The speedy consequence of
such a dirty conduct was, that the bigger boys despised and laughed at
him, and those who were less than himself, carefully shunned his
company; so that at last poor wrangling Stephen, for want of
play-fellows, had no other diversion left for him, but to take a
solitary ramble through the fields. His parents being informed of the
disagreeable situation into which he had brought himself, and what a
shy reception he met with from all the boys in the neighbourhood,
thought it adviseable, after giving him a strict caution to behave in a
more peaceable manner for the future, to remove him to a genteel
boarding school, at a distance from home. If he had thought proper to
follow their advice, and make a diligent use of the excellent<ANTIMG src="images/010.jpg" alt="Two men fighting" width-obs="500" height-obs="419" align="left" hspace="20" vspace="20">
instructions he received from his new teachers, he might afterwards
have cut a shining figure in the world; but, as what is bred in the
bone, seldom gets out of the flesh, so it fared with <i>Stephen
Churl</i>. Though he was a little reserved at first, as being entirely
among strangers, a short acquaintance with them made him very
familiar—the affability and good nature with which they listened to
every thing he said, soon encouraged him to be pert; and from pertness
he proceeded to open rudeness and ill manners—until at last happening
to be very mildly reprimanded by one of the young gentlemen, whose
tenderness he misconstrued into cowardice, he commenced hostilities, as
usual, by giving him an unexpected blow on the face. But his antagonist
being possessed of as much spirit as politeness, returned the
compliment in an instant; and conducted the engagement
on his side with such vigour and activity, that our hero soon retired
from the field of battle heartily drubbed, to make his complaint to the
master, who, after a minute inquiry into all the circumstances of the
fray, thought proper to reward him for the unnecessary trouble he had
given himself, with the severest flogging he had ever received in his
life time. Thus mortified and disgraced, the unfortunate <i>Stephen</i>
resolved upon an elopement; but, being ashamed to return to his
parents, he rambled through the fields and woods, and scrambled over
hedges and ditches, <ANTIMG src="images/011.jpg" alt="A man standing, a man lying on the ground, and a seated woman" width-obs="500" height-obs="401" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="left">until at length having torn his clothes to rags,
and being almost ready to perish with hunger, he eagerly listed himself
into a gang of gypsies, and supped very heartily upon the remains of a
roasted cat.
The intolerable hardships he suffered, and the coarse fare he was
obliged to put up with in this new situation, together with the
frequent bangs and thumps which he received from the younger part of
his strolling comrades, who were as quarrelsome and mischievous as
himself, but abundantly more robust, soon broke his heart; so that he
died in a barn, and was buried, like a beggar, at the expense of a
little country parish." While the Bramin was concluding the history of
Master <i>Churl</i>, my son <i>Jackey</i>, whose temper was rather too
fiery, looked very sheepish; which his sister <i>Betsey</i> observing,
and easily guessing the cause of it, she desired him with a good
natured smile, when we were leaving the room, to think on poor
<i>Stephen</i>, and be sure to take warning.</p>
<p class="chapter">
CHAP. V.</p>
<p class="head">
<i>The comical and mortifying Transmigration of little Monsieur</i>
<span class="sc">Fribble</span> <i>into the Body of a Monkey.</i></p>
<div class="figcenter"><ANTIMG src="images/012.jpg" alt="A man looking into a mirror, which is being held by a monkey" width-obs="500" height-obs="404"></div>
<p><span class="dropcap">A</span><span class="firstword">fter</span> we had taken our leave of Master <i>Churl</i>, we were conducted
into the apartment of Mr. <i>Pug</i>, a chattering young monkey, who,
as soon as he saw us whipt his little hat under his arm in a crack, and
seating himself upon his backside, welcomed each of us into the room by
several ceremonious nods, which were intended to supply the place of a
bow, and were accompanied by such a noisy affected grin, that it was
impossible for us to forbear laughing—"This contemptible animal, said
Mr. <i>Wiseman</i>, is inhabited by the little soul of the late Master
<i>Billy Fribble</i>, a young gentleman of French extraction, whose
friends came and settled in the country about fifty years ago. His play
fellows dignified him with the humorous title of <i>the little
Monsieur</i>, not so much on account of his diminutive stature, as for
that trifling and finical behaviour which distinguishes the least
respectable, though, by many thoughtless persons, the most admired part
of the French nation. As neither his bodily nor mental faculties were
very vigorous, his childhood was remarkable only for a certain
effeminate vivacity, which continually displayed itself in such a noisy
and insignificant prattling, as was very tiresome and disagreeable to
every body in the house. When he grew older, he added to his former
loquacity the most passionate fondness for fine clothes; so that in the
twelfth year of his age, he became as complete a top as ever eyes
beheld. He wore upon his head a macaroni hat about the size of a small
tea saucer; his coat, which scarcely had any skirts to it, was of the
most glaring colour he could fix upon; and his hair, which was
plaistered over with powder and pomatum, was tied behind in a large
club, which hung swagging upon his shoulders like a soldier's knapsack.
Thus elegantly dressed, he strutted along the streets with a large
stick in his hand about a foot taller than himself, and a small cutteau
de chasse by his side, which he could handle with as much dexterity as
his pen; an instrument in the use of which he had made such a
contemptible proficiency, that it required as much acuteness to
discover the meaning of his aukward scrawl, as to explain the
hieroglyphick characters of the ancient Egyptians. What still increased
the obscurity of every thing which Monsieur <i>Fribble</i> undertook
the trouble of penning, was that, excepting when he wrote his own name,
he had a method of spelling which was peculiar to himself. He was
equally famous for his skill in the useful science of numbers; for
though, during the space of seven or eight years, he devoted to it a
considerable part of that lingering time which he was forced to spare
from his private diversions in school hours, the sum total of his
improvement was, that he was scarcely capable of casting up the
contents of a shoemaker's little bill. His highest ambition was, in the
first place, to furnish himself with a large collection of
complimentary phrases, which he had seldom discretion enough to apply
with any tolerable propriety; and, in the next, to complete himself in
the polite art of dancing, in which he so far succeeded as to be able
to skip about with the most regular agility, though he never had a
sufficient share of good sense to be able to dance with gracefulness.
Thus accomplished, he excited the admiration of every silly coquette,
and the envy of every fluttering coxcomb; but by all young gentlemen
and ladies of understanding he was heartily despised as a mere
civilized monkey. He performed every thing by imitation; and he
imitated nothing (unless he was forcibly compelled to it) by which a
rational being may be distinguished from a brute animal. But the
species of imitation in which he most delighted, was that which, in the
vulgar style, is called <i>mocking</i>; for he was not possessed of a
sufficient stock of ingenuity to be (what he very frequently attempted
to be) a clever mimick. If any of his schoolmates happened to be
afflicted with an impediment in their speech, an accidental lameness,
or the like; he had the mean barbarity to endeavour to aggravate the
misfortune by a coarse imitation, which generally turned the whole
ridicule upon himself.<ANTIMG src="images/013.jpg" alt="Two men standing, facing each other" width-obs="500" height-obs="426" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="right"> He once had the impudence to practise his
mockery upon a worthy gentlemen in the neighbourhood, who was so
unfortunate as to be unable to speak without stuttering. The gentleman
happening to pass by Mr. <i>Fribble's</i> door, at which our little
monsieur
was then standing with a magpie in his hand." "<i>Bi-bi-bill</i>, said
the good man (after inquiring very civilly how he did) has that pretty
ma-ma-mag learned to ta-ta-talk?" "Ye-ye-yes, replied the saucy fop,
be-be-better than you do, or else I would wring his head off." "This
rude and impertinent answer, which at first excited the laughter of
some of the by-standers, soon gave them a very mean opinion of him, and
he was afterwards despised by every sensible person, as a mischievous,
unthinking coxcomb. What aggravated his punishment was, that he had so
frequently indulged himself in the ungenerous and silly practice of
mocking the imperfect pronunciation of others, that at last he himself
contracted such a habit of stuttering as he could never leave off. This
gave such a poor recommendation to the nonsensical things he was
continually saying, that he became the object of ten times the ridicule
which he had endeavoured to inflict upon those who had a <i>natural</i>
impediment. What was pitied in them as a misfortune, was despised in
him as an ill-acquired and consequently a vicious imperfection; and
therefore every one was willing to increase the mortifying smart of it,
and keep alive the conscious shame he felt of wearing a fool's cap
which was entirely of his own making. This vexatious, and in some
degree, vindictive ridicule to which he was daily exposed, and which,
in time, he might have softened and disarmed by an humble and penitent
deportment, gave such an insupportable wound to his foolish pride, that
he soon absconded from company, and died of a broken heart. That his
soul might afterwards occupy such a station as would be most suitable
to his character, it was sentenced to inhabit the body of that finical,
grinning, and mischievous little mimick with four legs, which you now
behold before you." As soon as the Bramin had finished his story, poor
<i>pug</i> (who seemed to retain all the little pride of Monsieur
<i>Fribble</i>) grinned, chattered, and skipped about with a ridiculous
resentment which was mingled with evident marks of fear; until at last,
having agitated himself into a perfect passion, he made a hasty spring
at his keeper, which, to his own abashment, and the laughter of my
young companions, was as suddenly checked by a small chain that secured
him to the floor.</p>
<p class="chapter">
CHAP. VI.</p>
<p class="head">
<i>The dismal Transmigration of Master</i> <span class="sc">Tommy Filch</span> <i>into the
Body of a Wolf.</i></p>
<div class="figcenter"><ANTIMG src="images/014.jpg" alt="Two men being followed by a wolf" width-obs="500" height-obs="417"></div>
<p><span class="dropcap">A</span><span class="firstword">s</span> soon as we had lifted up the latch to enter into the next apartment,
we were immediately alarmed by a horrid howling; which upon opening the
door we discovered to be the savage musick of a lusty young wolf, who
looked as fierce as if he would have torn every one of us to pieces.
But a strong chain confined his fury to one corner of the room; so that
we could venture pretty near him without any danger of feeling the
strength of his jaws. "This plundering and voracious animal, said the
Bramin, who has been accustomed to gratify his appetite at the expense
of all the farmers in the neighbourhood, is inhabited by the soul of
the late Master <i>Filch</i>, who, as you will find by the sequel of
the story, is now placed in a station which is perfectly suitable to
his character. His very infancy was disgraced by a natural propensity
to fraud and rapine; for as soon as he could talk plain enough to be
understood, the chief employment of his tongue was to tell as many
stories as his little head was capable of inventing; and that his hands
might come in for their share of mischief, he never failed to make a
property of all the sugar, fruit, tarts, &c. which the carelessness of
the servants had left within his reach. If his parents had been wise
enough to chastise him for his little roguery, they might have nipped
it in the bud; but they were so imprudently fond, that they not only
neglected to administer the discipline of the rod, but made his
falsehood and pilferings the constant subject of their merriment. They
considered his faults as trivial, because they were the faults of a
child; not reflecting that if the seeds of vice are suffered to grow,
they will in a shorter time than is commonly imagined, take such deep
root in the heart, that it will be scarcely possible to eradicate them.
Experience, however, soon undeceived them; for when little <i>Filch</i>
was eight or nine years old, though he had plenty of fruit at home,
they had the mortification to be informed that he was making daily
incursions into every poor man's garden in the neighbourhood. The
consequence of these repeated complaints was sometimes a severe
reprimand, and sometimes as severe a flogging; but neither the one nor
the other were able to produce a reformation, though it is very
probable, that if they had been applied in time, they might have been
applied to better purpose. From robbing orchards he soon proceeded to
the raising private contributions on his school fellows. Sometimes he
defrauded them at play: sometimes he picked their pockets; and very
frequently he stole their books, or money, out of their desks and
boxes: and, as it is the study of every wicked boy to maintain the
appearance of honesty as long as he is able, as soon as the robbery was
discovered he was the first person to exclaim against it, which he did
in the bitterest terms, and to prevent a long and circumstantial
inquiry after the author of it (which he suspected would not terminate
in his favour) he impudently pretended to have been an eye witness of
the fact, and then boldly charged it upon one or another of his school
mates, who he knew had neither skill nor spirit enough to contradict
his evidence in a satisfactory manner. By this means the bashful
innocent was frequently punished instead of the guilty. But as bad boys
are seldom able to conceal their faults long from the eye of justice,
young <i>Filch</i> was soon detected in his wickedness, and being
considered as a dangerous person, whose bad example might have a
pernicious effect upon his play fellows, he was first corrected with
all the severity he deserved, and then sent home to his parents. In
this disgraceful manner he was dismissed from every school in the
country, 'till at last, though he was only thirteen years old, there
was not a single academy into which he could be admitted upon any terms
whatever. But this was not the worst effect of the ill character he had
acquired: for as no one is willing to introduce a lad of bad reputation
into his house, there was not a tradesman of any credit to be found who
would venture to take him as an apprentice, though a large premium was
offered for that purpose. His parents, therefore, were under the
disagreeable necessity of keeping him at home; but having little or
nothing for him to do, he soon fell into bad company, who in as short a
time gave him a perfect relish for the scandalous and expensive
amusement of gaming and tippling. His finances, though sufficiently
plentiful for a youth of his age, were by these destructive means so
much encumbered with little debts, that to maintain a worthless credit
among his worthless companions, he formed the wicked resolution of
taking money from his father and mother without their knowledge. The
<ANTIMG src="images/015.jpg" alt="One man pointing a hand gun at another man" width-obs="500" height-obs="409" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="left">success of his first attempt (in which he was not discovered, because
he was not suspected to be capable of so much baseness) encouraged him
to a second; and the success of his second attempt encouraged him to
greater extravagances and more expensive risk than he had ventured upon
before. But his wickedness, which in the former instances had been
wrongfully charged upon the servants of the family, being at last
detected, and his parents taking him very severely to task on account
of such an abandoned and depraved conduct, he left them in a fit of
anger and remorse, and became a thoughtless and unhappy wanderer; in
this situation falling one evening into a company whose mirth and
gaiety greatly delighted him, and whose genteel appearance led him to
suppose they were gentlemen, though in reality they were no other than
highwaymen, he was prevailed on in an unguarded moment, when heated
with liquor, to make an incursion with this infamous banditti, and
actually stopped a gentleman and demanded his money; fortunately,
however for this unhappy youth, the gentleman was an old school fellow,
and making himself known to him, with much intreaty prevailed on him
immediately to leave the company of those desperate adventurers, and
totally to abandon a mode of life so shockingly wicked in itself, and
so dreadfully fatal in its consequences.
<ANTIMG src="images/016.jpg" alt="A boy in front of wall shelves" width-obs="500" height-obs="391" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="right">
"But from the idle and dissipated manner in which he had spent his
time, he had contracted an unconquerable habit of indolence, and a
rooted aversion to business; in this frame of mind, the army became his
last resource, into which he entered as a common soldier, but after a
short time his itch for pilfering returning, he could not refrain from
making free with some money with which he was intrusted by his officer;
being detected, he was punished with that rigorous severity with which
thefts in the army usually are, and being afterwards thrown into the
Savoy prison, to prevent a repetition of his crime, he died there in a
few days of his wounds in the utmost misery. When the Bramin had
finished this melancholy tale, the poor wolf, as if he was conscious
how nearly it concerned him, heightened the horrour with which it had
filled us by such a mournful and terrifying howl, as made us heartily
glad to quit the room."</p>
<p class="chapter">
CHAP. VII.</p>
<p class="head">
<i>Of the wonderful Transmigration of Master</i> <span class="sc">Richard Rustick</span>
<i>into the Body of a Bear.</i></p>
<div class="figcenter"><ANTIMG src="images/017.jpg" alt="A man and a pig" width-obs="500" height-obs="419"></div>
<p><span class="dropcap">I</span><span class="firstword">n</span> the next apartment into which Mr. <i>Wiseman</i> conducted us, we
saw the cub of a bear, who lay upon the floor to which he was chained,
without having the good manners to rise when we entered; but when the
Bramin applied his wand to young Bruin's buttocks, he heaved up his
shaggy hide with a kind of lazy resentment, and saluted us with a
reluctant grin and a savage growl, which plainly intimated that he did
not think himself much beholden to us for our company. "This young
brute, said our conductor, is animated by the soul of the late matter
<i>Rustick</i>, of clownish memory. His father was a gentleman of rank
and fortune, and greatly beloved and respected by all his acquaintance;
and if his son Richard had possessed the same virtues and
accomplishments, he might afterwards have enjoyed his title and estate
with equal comfort and reputation. But as merit does not go by
inheritance, like house and land, young <i>Rustick's</i> character was
entirely the reverse of his father's. He was of an awkward clumsy make;
and the heaviness of his disposition, and the coarseness of his manners
perfectly corresponded with the shape of his body. Though he was sent
to school very early, and put under the care of the best instructors
which the country afforded, he was a considerable time before he could
tell his letters, and much longer before he could read with tolerable
accuracy: and even then he pronounced every thing with such a clownish
accent and such a drawling tone, that any stranger would have taken him
for a young country bumkin, who had been used to follow the plow tail,
and not for the son and heir of a wealthy gentleman. He was equally
eminent for his neatness and dexterity in the art of penmanship; for,
even when he was twelve years old, if you had seen the letter which he
then sent to his mamma without the knowledge of his master, it was
wrote so crooked (i.e. not from side to side as it ought to have been,
but from corner to corner) and the strokes were all so coarse and
uneven, and the whole of the letter so awkwardly spelt, and so
unmercifully blotted and bedawbed, that you would have thought it had
been the elegant epistle of <i>Tony Clodhopper</i> to his grandmother
<i>Goody Linsey Woolsey</i>. As for his mamma, poor gentlewoman! when
she first opened it, she thought it had been sent to her by some
impudent shoe black or chimney sweeper; but when she had directed her
eyes to the bottom and read (though not, I assure you, without the
greatest difficulty)—"<i>from yr, loven ind respactfle sun, Rickard
Rostick</i>" she was so much oppressed with shame and vexation, that
she tore the letter into a thousand pieces, and was ready to burst into
tears. He was alike remarkable for the politeness of his manners, and
his agreeable address; for he had such a treacherous memory, though he
had been frequently reminded of the propriety and indeed the necessity
of observing those little punctilios of good behaviour, that he seldom
remembered when any company entered the room in which he happened to be
sitting, either to rise from his chair or take off his hat; and when he
was told of it either by his parents or his master, he would bounce up,
and snatch of his hat in such an awkward hurry, grinning and leering
the whole time, that you would have thought he had just started from a
dream; and even then he would generally forget to finish the rude
ceremony by making one of his ducking bows. It is true, indeed, he had
been under the hands of a dancing master; but notwithstanding the
utmost care and assiduity of his teacher, who was esteemed a very
excellent one; he was never able to perform a whit better than he does
in his present shape. In short, you might as well have kept a hog in
training for Newmarket races, or an ox for his majesty to ride upon at
a grand review, as have attempted to initiate master <i>Dicky
Rustick</i> in the elements of politeness and good breeding. With such
a delicate disposition, and such amiable talents, you will readily
perceive that he must have been a most agreeable play fellow. His
favorite diversion was that which has been distinguished by
<ANTIMG src="images/018.jpg" alt="A man, down on one knee, begging a standing man" width-obs="500" height-obs="424" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="right">
the vulgar, by the well known name of <i>Pully Hawly</i>, in which he
so much excelled that whenever he was invited by the young gentlemen
and ladies in the neighbourhood to play with them, he generally
rewarded their civility by tearing their coats or pulling their clothes
off their backs before he returned home; so that at last they bestowed
upon him, by general consent, the honourable title of <i>'Squire
Bruin</i>. It must, however, be acknowledged that he was a youth of
such impartial justice, that he shewed as little favour to his own
clothes as to those of <i>other</i> people; for what with climbing up
old trees, and rambling over hedges and ditches, to seek for birds
nests, he commonly appeared by dinner time, how well soever he had been
dressed in the morning, in as ragged a coat as he wears at present. It
must also be remarked, that if the young gentlemen and ladies soon grew
weary, as indeed they did, of such a rough play fellow, he, in
<i>his</i> turn, was as willing to leave <i>their</i> company, as they
were to be rid of <i>his</i>; for his chief delight was to associate
with such vulgar boys and girls as were of the same rugged disposition
as himself. With these he could pull and hawl and romp and tear as long
as he pleased; and the more active he became in this raggamuffin
species of diversion, the more they relished his company. But, upon
occasion, he could fight as well as play: I mean when he either was
provoked to it by his equals, or tempted to it by the hopes of
defrauding of their little property those who he knew had neither
strength enough nor courage to resist him. But whatever was his motive
either for <i>beginning</i> or suffering himself to be <i>drawn</i>
into an engagement, he was very far from confining himself to any rules
of honour, or to the established laws of war; for instead of boxing
fairly, he would kick, pull hair, bite, and scratch most unmercifully,
and never fail to take every advantage of his antagonist after he had
brought him to the ground. For these reasons he was soon dignified with
the nick name of <i>Dick Bear</i>, even by the vulgar boys in the
streets; and most of them afterwards took care never to engage with him
unless when
<ANTIMG src="images/019.jpg" alt="A pile of people under a tree" width-obs="500" height-obs="415" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="left">
there were several other boys present to see fair play. One would think
that such a rough hewn and slovenly mortal as we have been describing
would have had little regard for any delicacies in the eating way. But
whoever draws such a conclusion in favour of our hero, <i>Dicky
Rustick</i>, is greatly mistaken; for I can assure you that he had as
nice and dainty a tooth as any lady in the land. Though his father
always kept a handsome table, it afforded scarcely any thing which was
good enough for the palate of Master <i>Richard</i>. Nothing would go
down with him but tarts, custards, and the most costly cakes and
puddings; for as to good roast and boiled meat and plain and wholesome
pies or dumplings, he would turn up his nose at them as if they were
fit only for vagabonds and beggars. Nay, even to this very hour, and in
his present clumsy shape, he is almost as dainty as ever; for he is
remarkably
<ANTIMG src="images/020.jpg" alt="A man standing in front of a bee hive" width-obs="500" height-obs="416" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="right">
fond of honey, and if permitted would often expose his shaggy head and
his eyes to the resentment of the bees, by disturbing their hives to
rob them of their delicious store. It was his fondness for niceties of
every kind which shortened his days, and eased his parents of their
apprehensions for a son who, if he had lived, would have been a
continual plague and disgrace to them; for on the day when he entered
into the fourteenth year of his age, being indulged rather more than
common, he devoured such a quantity of the richest tarts, that his
stomach could not digest them; so that he soon fell into a violent
fever, which in a few days hurried his unworthy soul out of the body of
a young country 'squire (for such he would have been) into the carcass
of this hairy and awkward young monster which now stands before you. He
so well understands what I have been saying, and is so much vexed at
the character I have given of him, which he knows to be a very just
one, that if you will promise to quit the room and leave him to himself
he will pleasure you with one of his best dances before you
go."—Accordingly after thanking the Bramin for the account he had
given us, we all promised to leave Mr. <i>Bruin</i> to his own
meditation; upon which, after taking two or three sulkey rounds, the
young savage reared himself upon his buttocks, and shuffled a saraband
which lasted a few minutes. When he had finished his dance he swaggered
down again upon his fore paws, and by a sullen growl seemed to claim
the performance of our promise, an indulgence which we very readily
granted him.</p>
<p class="chapter">
CHAP. VIII.</p>
<p class="head">
<i>Of the astonishing Transmigration of Miss</i> <span class="sc">Abigail Eviltongue</span>
<i>into the Body of a Serpent.</i></p>
<div class="figcenter"><ANTIMG src="images/021.jpg" alt="A woman looking at a snake on the ground" width-obs="500" height-obs="413"></div>
<p><span class="dropcap">I</span><span class="firstword">n</span> the next apartment we saw a large wire cage, in which the Bramin
told us he had a bird which was something different from the common
ones; and so indeed it was, for upon my eldest daughter's going near to
see it, she was startled by a large serpent which darted itself against
the wires, and hissed and sissed as if it would have stung us all to
death in an instant. It was however, a very beautiful creature of the
kind, and as the sun then shone very bright, the golden and silver
streaks upon its azure skin made a very splendid appearance. My
youngest son wanting to go and stroke it;—"No, my pretty boy, said the
good Bramin; if you have any value for yourself, you will always keep
out of the reach of such creatures as these, and of all such who
resemble the young lady by whose soul this serpent is animated. I say
<i>young lady</i>, because the serpent before you is indeed animated by
the soul of the late Miss <i>Abigail Eviltongue</i>. The family of the
<i>Eviltongue</i>, (I dare say you have heard of them) is extremely
numerous; for there are some, and indeed too many of them, in every
town, and, I believe in every village in the country. Miss
<i>Abigail</i>, the young lady I am speaking of, had as just a title to
the name, and supported the character of her family with as much
exactness as any one amongst them; for her tongue was remarkably
active, and spared the reputation neither of friend nor foe. She was,
it is true, a very handsome girl, and the charms of her person would
have procured her many admirers if they had not been disgraced by her
natural propensity to slander and defamation. In her very infancy, as
soon as she could speak to be understood, she began with telling fibs
of the servants, and very frequently of her brothers and sisters; for
which, you may be certain, they all despised her very heartily. But as
she was too much encouraged in this hateful practice by her parents,
instead of being severely flogged for it, as she ought to have been,
she set the frowns and sneers of the others at open defiance; and the
more they resented her little malice the more eager she was to gratify
it by loading them with all the falsehoods she was capable of
inventing. In proportion as she grew older, this mischievous habit
increased upon her; and when she was big enough to go a visiting, she
indulged it abroad with as much freedom as she had been used to do at
home; so that, in a short time, there was scarcely a young miss or
master in the neighbourhood whose character she had not attempted to
injure. What made her slanders the more odious was, that she generally
vented them under a pretence of the greatest friendship and respect for
the persons to whom she related them, and with great seeming pity for
those whose reputation they were intended to destroy. She had likewise
the malicious cunning to say many trifling things in praise of the
objects of her censure; that by thus assuming an appearance of the
strictest impartiality, and of the sincerest good nature, she might
more easily gain credit to the bad things she said afterwards. By such
artifices as these she frequently succeeded with the innocent and the
unwary, and set one acquaintance and even one friend against another,
without any sort of advantage to herself but the mere pleasure of
making mischief. Another trick which she often employed for that
purpose, was to examine into a young gentleman or lady's constitutional
foibles (for we all have some) and when she had discovered these, to go
immediately to the person and tell him or her, that master or miss
<i>such a one</i> had publickly ridiculed him for those very failings;
by these means she was almost certain to be believed without any
farther inquiry; for every one, even upon the slightest hint, will
readily suspect that those things have been said of him, which he most
wishes to be concealed, because he is conscious they are <i>really</i>
true; he will seldom trouble himself to inquire into the veracity of
the tale bearer, lest he should be reduced to the necessity of
defending himself on his weakest side. For a similar reason, when Miss
<i>Abigail</i> had a mind to flatter any person (which she frequently
<ANTIMG src="images/022.jpg" alt="A man standing, facing a seated woman" width-obs="500" height-obs="429" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="right">would, to answer the purposes of her malice) she always commended him
for those particular good qualities, or accomplishments which she knew
he most valued himself for, or chiefly wished to have the credit of;
because she was sensible that by this method she effectually retained
his own vanity as her advocate for whatever she said afterwards. Nay, I
have been informed by one who knew her perfectly well, that, young as
she was, she sometimes carried her artifice so far as to begin a
dispute with the person she intended to deceive, and after a little
sharp altercation <i>pro and con</i> to flatter his vanity by gradually
giving up the argument, and at last yielding him a
victory, which gave him the more pleasure, because he thought it to be
entirely owing to the invincible strength of his judgment. But she had
another fault, which, if possible, was still more odious, than any of
those already mentioned—viz. to revile and backbite those from whom
she had received the greatest favours; for as she was too proud to own
herself to be under obligations to any person, so to prevent others
from taking notice of them, as she imagined to her disadvantage, she
would represent every obligation she had received from her friends to
<ANTIMG src="images/023.jpg" alt="Two standing women facing each other" width-obs="500" height-obs="426" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="left">be either of the most trifling consequence, or to have been bestowed
from selfish and despicable motives. Such was the temper and behaviour
of Miss <i>Abigail</i>, who was a wretched complication of malice, low
cunning and ingratitude: It is therefore no wonder that every person of
sense and character was careful to avoid her company,
and that she was detested by many, and despised even by those who
wished her well. In short, the general contempt to which she had
exposed herself, and the severe mortifications she met with from time
to time, gave such killing wounds to her pride, that after pining and
wasting
away with shame and vexation for the space of several months, she at
last broke her heart and gave up the ghost, in the seventeenth year of
her age. After her death her contemptible soul was immediately hurried
into the body of this venomous serpent, where it still retains its
former malice and cunning."—When the Bramin had finished his story,
<ANTIMG src="images/024.jpg" alt="A woman standing by a canopy bed and a woman in the bed" width-obs="500" height-obs="409" hspace="20" vspace="20" align="right">the serpent, as if she understood and resented what had been said,
writhed about and hissed at him as if she could have stung his eyes
out.</p>
<p>We afterwards visited several other apartments, and saw a young tyger,
a fox, a badger, &c. each of which was animated by the soul of some
naughty child, who very nearly resembled him in temper. But as I have
perhaps, already carried my treatise to such a length as will tire the
eyes and the patience of my little readers, it is proper to bring it to
a conclusion. I will, therefore, take my leave of them for the present,
with observing that in one of the rooms we visited, we saw a pretty
little parrot, in a gilt cage, who was perpetually talking, but did not
understand the meaning of one single word he said. "This noisy bird,
said the good Bramin, is inhabited by the soul of the late master
<i>Gabble</i>, who was remarkable for two faults. He always spoke
without thinking, and read a great deal with so little attention, that
he made no farther improvement in knowledge than if he had never read
at all. He devoured every thing, but digested nothing." If any of my
readers happen to be of the same disposition, they may survey the gilt
covers of this little treatise with as much advantage as they will
peruse the contents of it.</p>
<br/>
<h3> FINIS. </h3>
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