<SPAN name="chap03"></SPAN>
<h3>CHAPTER III</h3>
<h2><i>A NEW FACE</i></h2>
<p> </p>
<p>I think it was about a fortnight after that conversation in which
my father had expressed his opinion, and given me the mysterious charge
about the old oak cabinet in his library, as already
detailed, that I was one night sitting at the great drawing-room
window, lost in the melancholy reveries of night, and in admiration of the
moonlighted scene. I was the only occupant of the
room; and the lights near the fire, at its farther end, hardly
reached to the window at which I sat.</p>
<p>The shorn grass sloped gently downward from the windows
till it met the broad level on which stood, in clumps, or solitarily
scattered, some of the noblest timber in England. Hoar in
the moonbeams stood those graceful trees casting their moveless
shadows upon the grass, and in the background crowning the
undulations of the distance, in masses, were piled those woods
among which lay the solitary tomb where the remains of my
beloved mother rested.</p>
<p>The air was still. The silvery vapour hung serenely on the far
horizon, and the frosty stars blinked brightly. Everyone knows
the effect of such a scene on a mind already saddened. Fancies
and regrets float mistily in the dream, and the scene affects
us with a strange mixture of memory and anticipation, like
some sweet old air heard in the distance. As my eyes rested on
those, to me, funereal but glorious woods, which formed the
background of the picture, my thoughts recurred to my father's
mysterious intimations and the image of the approaching visitor;
and the thought of the unknown journey saddened me.</p>
<p>In all that concerned his religion, from very early association,
there was to me something of the unearthly and spectral.</p>
<p>When my dear mamma died I was not nine years old; and I
remember, two days before the funeral, there came to Knowl,
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page21" id="page21"></SPAN></span>
where she died, a thin little man, with large black eyes, and a
very grave, dark face.</p>
<p>He was shut up a good deal with my dear father, who was in
deep affliction; and Mrs. Rusk used to say, 'It is rather odd to
see him praying with that little scarecrow from London, and
good Mr. Clay ready at call, in the village; much good that
little black whipper-snapper will do him!'</p>
<p>With that little black man, on the day after the funeral, I was
sent out, for some reason, for a walk; my governess was ill, I
know, and there was confusion in the house, and I dare say the
maids made as much of a holiday as they could.</p>
<p>I remember feeling a sort of awe of this little dark man; but
I was not afraid of him, for he was gentle, though sad—and
seemed kind. He led me into the garden—the Dutch garden, we
used to call it—with a balustrade, and statues at the farther
front, laid out in a carpet-pattern of brilliantly-coloured flowers.
We came down the broad flight of Caen stone steps into this,
and we walked in silence to the balustrade. The base was too
high at the spot where we reached it for me to see over; but
holding my hand, he said, 'Look through that, my child. Well,
you can't; but <i>I</i> can see beyond it—shall I tell you what? I see
ever so much. I see a cottage with a steep roof, that looks like
gold in the sunlight; there are tall trees throwing soft shadows
round it, and flowering shrubs, I can't say what, only the colours
are beautiful, growing by the walls and windows, and two little
children are playing among the stems of the trees, and we are
on our way there, and in a few minutes shall be under those
trees ourselves, and talking to those little children. Yet now to
me it is but a picture in my brain, and to you but a story told
by me, which you believe. Come, dear; let us be going.'</p>
<p>So we descended the steps at the right, and side by side
walked along the grass lane between tall trim walls of evergreens. The way
was in deep shadow, for the sun was near
the horizon; but suddenly we turned to the left, and there we
stood in rich sunlight, among the many objects he had described.</p>
<p>'Is this your house, my little men?' he asked of the children—pretty
little rosy boys—who assented; and he leaned with his
open hand against the stem of one of the trees, and with a
grave smile he nodded down to me, saying—</p>
<p>'You see now, and hear, and <i>feel</i> for yourself that both the
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page22" id="page22"></SPAN></span>
vision and the story were quite true; but come on, my dear, we
have further to go.'</p>
<p>And relapsing into silence we had a long ramble through the
wood, the same on which I was now looking in the distance.
Every now and then he made me sit down to rest, and he in a
musing solemn sort of way would relate some little story, reflecting, even
to my childish mind, a strange suspicion of a spiritual
meaning, but different from what honest Mrs. Rusk used to expound
to me from the Parables, and, somehow, startling in its
very vagueness.</p>
<p>Thus entertained, though a little awfully, I accompanied the
dark mysterious little 'whipper-snapper' through the woodland
glades. We came, to me quite unexpectedly, in the deep sylvan
shadows, upon the grey, pillared temple, four-fronted, with a
slanting pedestal of lichen-stained steps, the lonely sepulchre in
which I had the morning before seen poor mamma laid. At the
sight the fountains of my grief reopened, and I cried bitterly,
repeating, 'Oh! mamma, mamma, little mamma!' and so went on
weeping and calling wildly on the deaf and the silent. There was
a stone bench some ten steps away from the tomb.</p>
<p>'Sit down beside me, my child,' said the grave man with the
black eyes, very kindly and gently. 'Now, what do you see
there?' he asked, pointing horizontally with his stick towards
the centre of the opposite structure.</p>
<p>'Oh, <i>that</i>—that place where poor mamma is?'</p>
<p>'Yes, a stone wall with pillars, too high for either you or me
to see over. But——'</p>
<p>Here he mentioned a name which I think must have been
Swedenborg, from what I afterwards learnt of his tenets and
revelations; I only know that it sounded to me like the name of
a magician in a fairy tale; I fancied he lived in the wood which
surrounded us, and I began to grow frightened as he proceeded.</p>
<p>'But Swedenborg sees beyond it, over, and <i>through</i> it, and has
told me all that concerns us to know. He says your mamma is
not there.'</p>
<p>'She is taken away!' I cried, starting up, and with streaming
eyes, gazing on the building which, though I stamped my feet
in my distraction, I was afraid to approach. 'Oh, <i>is</i> mamma
taken away? Where is she? Where have they brought her to?'</p>
<p>I was uttering unconsciously very nearly the question with
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page23" id="page23"></SPAN></span>
which Mary, in the grey of that wondrous morning on which she
stood by the empty sepulchre, accosted the figure standing near.</p>
<p>'Your mamma is alive but too far away to see or hear us.
Swedenborg, standing here, can see and hear her, and tells me
all he sees, just as I told you in the garden about the little boys
and the cottage, and the trees and flowers which you could not
see. You believed in when <i>I</i> told you. So I can tell you now as I
did then; and as we are both, I hope, walking on to the same
place just as we did to the trees and cottage. You will surely
see with your own eyes how true the description is which I give
you.'</p>
<p>I was very frightened, for I feared that when he had
done his narrative we were to walk on through the wood into
that place of wonders and of shadows where the dead were
visible.</p>
<p>He leaned his elbow on his knee, and his forehead on his
hand, which shaded his downcast eyes. In that attitude he described to me a
beautiful landscape, radiant with a wondrous
light, in which, rejoicing, my mother moved along an airy path,
ascending among mountains of fantastic height, and peaks,
melting in celestial colouring into the air, and peopled with
human beings translated into the same image, beauty, and
splendour. And when he had ended his relation, he rose, took
my hand, and smiling gently down on my pale, wondering face,
he said the same words he had spoken before—</p>
<p>'Come, dear, let us go.'</p>
<p>'Oh! no, no, <i>no</i>—not now,' I said, resisting, and very much
frightened.</p>
<p>'Home, I mean, dear. We cannot walk to the place I have
described. We can only reach it through the gate of death, to
which we are all tending, young and old, with sure steps.'</p>
<p>'And where is the gate of death?' I asked in a sort of whisper,
as we walked together, holding his hand, and looking
stealthily. He smiled sadly and said—</p>
<p>'When, sooner or later, the time comes, as Hagar's eyes were
opened in the wilderness, and she beheld the fountain of water,
so shall each of us see the door open before us, and enter in and
be refreshed.'</p>
<p>For a long time following this walk I was very nervous; more
so for the awful manner in which Mrs. Rusk received my
<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="page24" id="page24"></SPAN></span>
statement—with stern lips and upturned hands and eyes, and an
angry expostulation: 'I do wonder at you, Mary Quince, letting
the child walk into the wood with that limb of darkness. It is a
mercy he did not show her the devil, or frighten her out of her
senses, in that lonely place!'</p>
<p>Of these Swedenborgians, indeed, I know no more than I
might learn from good Mrs. Rusk's very inaccurate talk. Two
or three of them crossed in the course of my early life, like
magic-lantern figures, the disk of my very circumscribed observation. All
outside was and is darkness. I once tried to read one
of their books upon the future state—heaven and hell; but I
grew after a day or two so nervous that I laid it aside. It is
enough for me to know that their founder either saw or fancied
he saw amazing visions, which, so far from superseding, confirmed and
interpreted the language of the Bible; and as dear
papa accepted their ideas, I am happy in thinking that they did
not conflict with the supreme authority of holy writ.</p>
<p>Leaning on my hand, I was now looking upon that solemn
wood, white and shadowy in the moonlight, where, for a long
time after that ramble with the visionary, I fancied the gate of
death, hidden only by a strange glamour, and the dazzling land
of ghosts, were situate; and I suppose these earlier associations
gave to my reverie about my father's coming visitor a wilder
and a sadder tinge.</p>
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