<h2><span><SPAN name="8">THE RUDE RAT</SPAN></span><br>
<br>
<span> AND</span><br>
<br>
<span> THE UNOSTENTATIOUS OYSTER</span><br/></h2>
<br/>
<br/>
Upon the shore, a mile or more<br/>
From traffic and confusion,<br/>
An oyster dwelt, because he felt<br/>
A longing for seclusion;<br/>
Said he: "I love the stillness of<br/>
This spot. It's like a cloister."<br/>
(These words I quote because, you note,<br/>
They rhyme so well with oyster.)<br/>
<br/>
A prying rat, believing that<br/>
She needed change of diet,<br/>
In search of such disturbed this much-<br/>
To-be-desired quiet.<br/>
To say the least, this tactless beast<br/>
Was apt to rudely roister:<br/>
She tapped his shell, and called him--well,<br/>
A name that hurt the oyster.<br/>
<br/>
"I see," she cried, "you're open wide,<br/>
And, searching for a reason,<br/>
September's here, and so it's clear<br/>
That oysters are in season."<br/>
She smiled a smile that showed this style<br/>
Of badinage rejoiced her,<br/>
Advanced a pace with easy grace,<br/>
And <span style="font-style: italic;">sniffed</span>
the silent oyster.<br/>
<br/>
The latter's pride was sorely tried,<br/>
He thought of what he <span style="font-style: italic;">could</span> say,<br/>
Reflected what the common lot<br/>
Of vulgar molluscs <span style="font-style: italic;">would</span>
say;<br/>
Then caught his breath, grew pale as death,<br/>
And, as his brow turned moister,<br/>
Began to close, and nipped her nose!<br/>
Superb, dramatic oyster!<br/>
<br/>
We note with joy that oi polloi,<br/>
Whom maidens bite the thumb at,<br/>
Are apt to try some weak reply<br/>
To things they should be dumb at.<br/>
THE MORAL, then, for crafty men<br/>
Is: When a maid has voiced her<br/>
Contemptuous heart, don't think you're smart,<br/>
But shut up--like the oyster.<br/>
<br/>
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