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<h2> CHAPTER XXXIV </h2>
<p>THEY journeyed for three and a half months. They saw the Grand Canyon, the
adobe walls of Sante Fe and, in a drive from El Paso into Mexico, their
first foreign land. They jogged from San Diego and La Jolla to Los
Angeles, Pasadena, Riverside, through towns with bell-towered missions and
orange-groves; they viewed Monterey and San Francisco and a forest of
sequoias. They bathed in the surf and climbed foothills and danced, they
saw a polo game and the making of motion-pictures, they sent one hundred
and seventeen souvenir post-cards to Gopher Prairie, and once, on a dune
by a foggy sea when she was walking alone, Carol found an artist, and he
looked up at her and said, "Too damned wet to paint; sit down and talk,"
and so for ten minutes she lived in a romantic novel.</p>
<p>Her only struggle was in coaxing Kennicott not to spend all his time with
the tourists from the ten thousand other Gopher Prairies. In winter,
California is full of people from Iowa and Nebraska, Ohio and Oklahoma,
who, having traveled thousands of miles from their familiar villages,
hasten to secure an illusion of not having left them. They hunt for people
from their own states to stand between them and the shame of naked
mountains; they talk steadily, in Pullmans, on hotel porches, at
cafeterias and motion-picture shows, about the motors and crops and county
politics back home. Kennicott discussed land-prices with them, he went
into the merits of the several sorts of motor cars with them, he was
intimate with train porters, and he insisted on seeing the Luke Dawsons at
their flimsy bungalow in Pasadena, where Luke sat and yearned to go back
and make some more money. But Kennicott gave promise of learning to play.
He shouted in the pool at the Coronado, and he spoke of (though he did
nothing more radical than speak of) buying evening-clothes. Carol was
touched by his efforts to enjoy picture galleries, and the dogged way in
which he accumulated dates and dimensions when they followed monkish
guides through missions.</p>
<p>She felt strong. Whenever she was restless she dodged her thoughts by the
familiar vagabond fallacy of running away from them, of moving on to a new
place, and thus she persuaded herself that she was tranquil. In March she
willingly agreed with Kennicott that it was time to go home. She was
longing for Hugh.</p>
<p>They left Monterey on April first, on a day of high blue skies and poppies
and a summer sea.</p>
<p>As the train struck in among the hills she resolved, "I'm going to love
the fine Will Kennicott quality that there is in Gopher Prairie. The
nobility of good sense. It will be sweet to see Vida and Guy and the
Clarks. And I'm going to see my baby! All the words he'll be able to say
now! It's a new start. Everything will be different!"</p>
<p>Thus on April first, among dappled hills and the bronze of scrub oaks,
while Kennicott seesawed on his toes and chuckled, "Wonder what Hugh'll
say when he sees us?"</p>
<p>Three days later they reached Gopher Prairie in a sleet storm.</p>
<p>II</p>
<p>No one knew that they were coming; no one met them; and because of the icy
roads, the only conveyance at the station was the hotel 'bus, which they
missed while Kennicott was giving his trunk-check to the station agent—the
only person to welcome them. Carol waited for him in the station, among
huddled German women with shawls and umbrellas, and ragged-bearded farmers
in corduroy coats; peasants mute as oxen, in a room thick with the steam
of wet coats, the reek of the red-hot stove, the stench of sawdust boxes
which served as cuspidors. The afternoon light was as reluctant as a
winter dawn.</p>
<p>"This is a useful market-center, an interesting pioneer post, but it is
not a home for me," meditated the stranger Carol.</p>
<p>Kennicott suggested, "I'd 'phone for a flivver but it'd take quite a while
for it to get here. Let's walk."</p>
<p>They stepped uncomfortably from the safety of the plank platform and,
balancing on their toes, taking cautious strides, ventured along the road.
The sleety rain was turning to snow. The air was stealthily cold. Beneath
an inch of water was a layer of ice, so that as they wavered with their
suit-cases they slid and almost fell. The wet snow drenched their gloves;
the water underfoot splashed their itching ankles. They scuffled inch by
inch for three blocks. In front of Harry Haydock's Kennicott sighed:</p>
<p>"We better stop in here and 'phone for a machine."</p>
<p>She followed him like a wet kitten.</p>
<p>The Haydocks saw them laboring up the slippery concrete walk, up the
perilous front steps, and came to the door chanting:</p>
<p>"Well, well, well, back again, eh? Say, this is fine! Have a fine trip?
My, you look like a rose, Carol. How did you like the coast, doc? Well,
well, well! Where-all did you go?"</p>
<p>But as Kennicott began to proclaim the list of places achieved, Harry
interrupted with an account of how much he himself had seen, two years
ago. When Kennicott boasted, "We went through the mission at Santa
Barbara," Harry broke in, "Yeh, that's an interesting old mission. Say,
I'll never forget that hotel there, doc. It was swell. Why, the rooms were
made just like these old monasteries. Juanita and I went from Santa
Barbara to San Luis Obispo. You folks go to San Luis Obispo?"</p>
<p>"No, but——"</p>
<p>"Well you ought to gone to San Luis Obispo. And then we went from there to
a ranch, least they called it a ranch——"</p>
<p>Kennicott got in only one considerable narrative, which began:</p>
<p>"Say, I never knew—did you, Harry?—that in the Chicago
district the Kutz Kar sells as well as the Overland? I never thought much
of the Kutz. But I met a gentleman on the train—it was when we were
pulling out of Albuquerque, and I was sitting on the back platform of the
observation car, and this man was next to me and he asked me for a light,
and we got to talking, and come to find out, he came from Aurora, and when
he found out I came from Minnesota he asked me if I knew Dr. Clemworth of
Red Wing, and of course, while I've never met him, I've heard of Clemworth
lots of times, and seems he's this man's brother! Quite a coincidence!
Well, we got to talking, and we called the porter—that was a pretty
good porter on that car—and we had a couple bottles of ginger ale,
and I happened to mention the Kutz Kar, and this man—seems he's
driven a lot of different kinds of cars—he's got a Franklin now—and
he said that he'd tried the Kutz and liked it first-rate. Well, when we
got into a station—I don't remember the name of it—Carrie,
what the deuce was the name of that first stop we made the other side of
Albuquerque?—well, anyway, I guess we must have stopped there to
take on water, and this man and I got out to stretch our legs, and darned
if there wasn't a Kutz drawn right up at the depot platform, and he
pointed out something I'd never noticed, and I was glad to learn about it:
seems that the gear lever in the Kutz is an inch longer——"</p>
<p>Even this chronicle of voyages Harry interrupted, with remarks on the
advantages of the ball-gear-shift.</p>
<p>Kennicott gave up hope of adequate credit for being a traveled man, and
telephoned to a garage for a Ford taxicab, while Juanita kissed Carol and
made sure of being the first to tell the latest, which included seven
distinct and proven scandals about Mrs. Swiftwaite, and one considerable
doubt as to the chastity of Cy Bogart.</p>
<p>They saw the Ford sedan making its way over the water-lined ice, through
the snow-storm, like a tug-boat in a fog. The driver stopped at a corner.
The car skidded, it turned about with comic reluctance, crashed into a
tree, and stood tilted on a broken wheel.</p>
<p>The Kennicotts refused Harry Haydock's not too urgent offer to take them
home in his car "if I can manage to get it out of the garage—terrible
day—stayed home from the store—but if you say so, I'll take a
shot at it." Carol gurgled, "No, I think we'd better walk; probably make
better time, and I'm just crazy to see my baby." With their suit-cases
they waddled on. Their coats were soaked through.</p>
<p>Carol had forgotten her facile hopes. She looked about with impersonal
eyes. But Kennicott, through rain-blurred lashes, caught the glory that
was Back Home.</p>
<p>She noted bare tree-trunks, black branches, the spongy brown earth between
patches of decayed snow on the lawns. The vacant lots were full of tall
dead weeds. Stripped of summer leaves the houses were hopeless—temporary
shelters.</p>
<p>Kennicott chuckled, "By golly, look down there! Jack Elder must have
painted his garage. And look! Martin Mahoney has put up a new fence around
his chicken yard. Say, that's a good fence, eh? Chicken-tight and
dog-tight. That's certainly a dandy fence. Wonder how much it cost a yard?
Yes, sir, they been building right along, even in winter. Got more
enterprise than these Californians. Pretty good to be home, eh?"</p>
<p>She noted that all winter long the citizens had been throwing garbage into
their back yards, to be cleaned up in spring. The recent thaw had
disclosed heaps of ashes, dog-bones, torn bedding, clotted paint-cans, all
half covered by the icy pools which filled the hollows of the yards. The
refuse had stained the water to vile colors of waste: thin red, sour
yellow, streaky brown.</p>
<p>Kennicott chuckled, "Look over there on Main Street! They got the feed
store all fixed up, and a new sign on it, black and gold. That'll improve
the appearance of the block a lot."</p>
<p>She noted that the few people whom they passed wore their raggedest coats
for the evil day. They were scarecrows in a shanty town. . . . "To think,"
she marveled, "of coming two thousand miles, past mountains and cities, to
get off here, and to plan to stay here! What conceivable reason for
choosing this particular place?"</p>
<p>She noted a figure in a rusty coat and a cloth cap.</p>
<p>Kennicott chuckled, "Look who's coming! It's Sam Clark! Gosh, all rigged
out for the weather."</p>
<p>The two men shook hands a dozen times and, in the Western fashion,
bumbled, "Well, well, well, well, you old hell-hound, you old devil, how
are you, anyway? You old horse-thief, maybe it ain't good to see you
again!" While Sam nodded at her over Kennicott's shoulder, she was
embarrassed.</p>
<p>"Perhaps I should never have gone away. I'm out of practise in lying. I
wish they would get it over! Just a block more and—my baby!"</p>
<p>They were home. She brushed past the welcoming Aunt Bessie and knelt by
Hugh. As he stammered, "O mummy, mummy, don't go away! Stay with me,
mummy!" she cried, "No, I'll never leave you again!"</p>
<p>He volunteered, "That's daddy."</p>
<p>"By golly, he knows us just as if we'd never been away!" said Kennicott.
"You don't find any of these California kids as bright as he is, at his
age!"</p>
<p>When the trunk came they piled about Hugh the bewhiskered little wooden
men fitting one inside another, the miniature junk, and the Oriental drum,
from San Francisco Chinatown; the blocks carved by the old Frenchman in
San Diego; the lariat from San Antonio.</p>
<p>"Will you forgive mummy for going away? Will you?" she whispered.</p>
<p>Absorbed in Hugh, asking a hundred questions about him—had he had
any colds? did he still dawdle over his oatmeal? what about unfortunate
morning incidents? she viewed Aunt Bessie only as a source of information,
and was able to ignore her hint, pointed by a coyly shaken finger, "Now
that you've had such a fine long trip and spent so much money and all, I
hope you're going to settle down and be satisfied and not——"</p>
<p>"Does he like carrots yet?" replied Carol.</p>
<p>She was cheerful as the snow began to conceal the slatternly yards. She
assured herself that the streets of New York and Chicago were as ugly as
Gopher Prairie in such weather; she dismissed the thought, "But they do
have charming interiors for refuge." She sang as she energetically looked
over Hugh's clothes.</p>
<p>The afternoon grew old and dark. Aunt Bessie went home. Carol took the
baby into her own room. The maid came in complaining, "I can't get no
extra milk to make chipped beef for supper." Hugh was sleepy, and he had
been spoiled by Aunt Bessie. Even to a returned mother, his whining and
his trick of seven times snatching her silver brush were fatiguing. As a
background, behind the noises of Hugh and the kitchen, the house reeked
with a colorless stillness.</p>
<p>From the window she heard Kennicott greeting the Widow Bogart as he had
always done, always, every snowy evening: "Guess this 'll keep up all
night." She waited. There they were, the furnace sounds, unalterable,
eternal: removing ashes, shoveling coal.</p>
<p>Yes. She was back home! Nothing had changed. She had never been away.
California? Had she seen it? Had she for one minute left this scraping
sound of the small shovel in the ash-pit of the furnace? But Kennicott
preposterously supposed that she had. Never had she been quite so far from
going away as now when he believed she had just come back. She felt oozing
through the walls the spirit of small houses and righteous people. At that
instant she knew that in running away she had merely hidden her doubts
behind the officious stir of travel.</p>
<p>"Dear God, don't let me begin agonizing again!" she sobbed. Hugh wept with
her.</p>
<p>"Wait for mummy a second!" She hastened down to the cellar, to Kennicott.</p>
<p>He was standing before the furnace. However inadequate the rest of the
house, he had seen to it that the fundamental cellar should be large and
clean, the square pillars whitewashed, and the bins for coal and potatoes
and trunks convenient. A glow from the drafts fell on the smooth gray
cement floor at his feet. He was whistling tenderly, staring at the
furnace with eyes which saw the black-domed monster as a symbol of home
and of the beloved routine to which he had returned—his gipsying
decently accomplished, his duty of viewing "sights" and "curios" performed
with thoroughness. Unconscious of her, he stooped and peered in at the
blue flames among the coals. He closed the door briskly, and made a
whirling gesture with his right hand, out of pure bliss.</p>
<p>He saw her. "Why, hello, old lady! Pretty darn good to be back, eh?"</p>
<p>"Yes," she lied, while she quaked, "Not now. I can't face the job of
explaining now. He's been so good. He trusts me. And I'm going to break
his heart!"</p>
<p>She smiled at him. She tidied his sacred cellar by throwing an empty
bluing bottle into the trash bin. She mourned, "It's only the baby that
holds me. If Hugh died——" She fled upstairs in panic and made
sure that nothing had happened to Hugh in these four minutes.</p>
<p>She saw a pencil-mark on a window-sill. She had made it on a September day
when she had been planning a picnic for Fern Mullins and Erik. Fern and
she had been hysterical with nonsense, had invented mad parties for all
the coming winter. She glanced across the alley at the room which Fern had
occupied. A rag of a gray curtain masked the still window.</p>
<p>She tried to think of some one to whom she wanted to telephone. There was
no one.</p>
<p>The Sam Clarks called that evening and encouraged her to describe the
missions. A dozen times they told her how glad they were to have her back.</p>
<p>"It is good to be wanted," she thought. "It will drug me. But——Oh,
is all life, always, an unresolved But?"</p>
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