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<h3>CHAPTER LXVIII</h3>
<h3>Phineas after the Trial<br/> </h3>
<p>Ten days passed by, and Phineas Finn had not been out of his lodgings
till after daylight, and then he only prowled about in the manner
described in the last chapter. His sisters had returned to Ireland,
and he saw no one, even in his own room, but two or three of his most
intimate friends. Among those Mr. Low and Lord Chiltern were the most
frequently with him, but Fitzgibbon, Barrington Erle, and Mr. Monk
had also been admitted. People had called by the hundred, till Mrs.
Bunce was becoming almost tired of her lodger's popularity; but they
came only to inquire,—because it had been reported that Mr. Finn was
not well after his imprisonment. The Duchess of Omnium had written to
him various notes, asking when he would come to her, and what she
could do for him. Would he dine, would he spend a quiet evening,
would he go to Matching? Finally, would he become her guest and the
Duke's next September for the partridge shooting? They would have a
few friends with them, and Madame Goesler would be one of the number.
Having had this by him for a week, he had not as yet answered the
invitation. He had received two or three notes from Lady Laura, who
had frankly explained to him that if he were really ill she would of
course go to him, but that as matters stood she could not do so
without displeasing her brother. He had answered each note by an
assurance that his first visit should be made in Portman Square. To
Madame Goesler he had written a letter of thanks,—a letter which had
in truth cost him some pains. "I know," he said, "for how much I have
to thank you, but I do not know in what words to do it. I ought to be
with you telling you in person of my gratitude; but I must own to you
that for the present what has occurred has so unmanned me that I am
unfit for the interview. I should only weep in your presence like a
school-girl, and you would despise me." It was a long letter,
containing many references to the circumstances of the trial, and to
his own condition of mind throughout its period. Her answer to him,
which was very short, was as follows:—<br/> </p>
<blockquote>
<p class="jright">Park Lane, Sunday––</p>
<p class="noindent"><span class="smallcaps">My dear Mr. Finn</span>,</p>
<p>I can well understand that for a while you should be too agitated by
what has passed to see your friends. Remember, however, that you owe
it to them as well as to yourself not to sink into seclusion. Send me
a line when you think that you can come to me that I may be at home.
My journey to Prague was nothing. You forget that I am constantly
going to Vienna on business connected with my own property there.
Prague lies but a few hours out of the route.</p>
<p class="ind10">Most sincerely yours,</p>
<p class="ind15">M. M. G.<br/> </p>
</blockquote>
<p>His friends who did see him urged him constantly to bestir himself,
and Mr. Monk pressed him very much to come down to the House. "Walk
in with me to-night, and take your seat as though nothing had
happened," said Mr. Monk.</p>
<p>"But so much has happened."</p>
<p>"Nothing has happened to alter your outward position as a man. No
doubt many will flock round you to congratulate you, and your first
half-hour will be disagreeable; but then the thing will have been
done. You owe it to your constituents to do so." Then Phineas for the
first time expressed an opinion that he would resign his seat,—that
he would take the Chiltern Hundreds, and retire altogether from
public life.</p>
<p>"Pray do nothing of the kind," said Mr. Monk.</p>
<p>"I do not think you quite understand," said Phineas, "how such an
ordeal as this works upon a man, how it may change a man, and knock
out of him what little strength there ever was there. I feel that I
am broken, past any patching up or mending. Of course it ought not to
be so. A man should be made of better stuff;—but one is only what
one is."</p>
<p>"We'll put off the discussion for another week," said Mr. Monk.</p>
<p>"There came a letter to me when I was in prison from one of the
leading men in Tankerville, saying that I ought to resign. I know
they all thought that I was guilty. I do not care to sit for a place
where I was so judged,—even if I was fit any longer for a seat in
Parliament." He had never felt convinced that Mr. Monk had himself
believed with confidence his innocence, and he spoke with soreness,
and almost with anger.</p>
<p>"A letter from one individual should never be allowed to create
interference between a member and his constituents. It should simply
be answered to that effect, and then ignored. As to the belief of the
townspeople in your innocence,—what is to guide you? I believed you
innocent with all my heart."</p>
<p>"Did you?"</p>
<p>"But there was always sufficient possibility of your guilt to prevent
a rational man from committing himself to the expression of an
absolute conviction." The young member's brow became black as he
heard this. "I can see that I offend you by saying so,—but if you
will think of it, I must be right. You were on your trial; and I as
your friend was bound to await the result,—with much confidence,
because I knew you; but with no conviction, because both you and I
are human and fallible. If the electors at Tankerville, or any great
proportion of them, express a belief that you are unfit to represent
them because of what has occurred, I shall be the last to recommend
you to keep your seat;—but I shall be surprised indeed if they
should do so. If there were a general election to-morrow, I should
regard your seat as one of the safest in England."</p>
<p>Both Mr. Low and Lord Chiltern were equally urgent with him to return
to his usual mode of life,—using different arguments for their
purpose. Lord Chiltern told him plainly that he was weak and
womanly,—or rather that he would be were he to continue to dread the
faces of his fellow-creatures. The Master of the Brake hounds himself
was a man less gifted than Phineas Finn, and therefore hardly capable
of understanding the exaggerated feelings of the man who had recently
been tried for his life. Lord Chiltern was affectionate,
tender-hearted, and true;—but there were no vacillating fibres in
his composition. The balance which regulated his conduct was firmly
set, and went well. The clock never stopped, and wanted but little
looking after. But the works were somewhat rough, and the seconds
were not scored. He had, however, been quite true to Phineas during
the dark time, and might now say what he pleased. "I am womanly,"
said Phineas. "I begin to feel it. But I can't alter my nature."</p>
<p>"I never was so much surprised in my life," said Lord Chiltern. "When
I used to look at you in the dock, by heaven I envied you your pluck
and strength."</p>
<p>"I was burning up the stock of coals, Chiltern."</p>
<p>"You'll come all right after a few weeks. You've been knocked out of
time;—that's the truth of it."</p>
<p>Mr. Low treated his patient with more indulgence; but he also was
surprised, and hardly understood the nature of the derangement of the
mechanism in the instrument which he was desirous of repairing. "I
should go abroad for a few months if I were you," said Mr. Low.</p>
<p>"I should stick at the first inn I got to," said Phineas. "I think I
am better here. By and bye I shall travel, I dare say,—all over the
world, as far as my money will last. But for the present I am only
fit to sit still."</p>
<p>Mrs. Low had seen him more than once, and had been very kind to him;
but she also failed to understand. "I always thought that he was such
a manly fellow," she said to her husband.</p>
<p>"If you mean personal courage, there is no doubt that he possesses
it,—as completely now, probably, as ever."</p>
<p>"Oh yes;—he could go over to Flanders and let that lord shoot at
him; and he could ride brutes of horses, and not care about breaking
his neck. That's not what I mean. I thought that he could face the
world with dignity;—but now it seems that he breaks down."</p>
<p>"He has been very roughly used, my dear."</p>
<p>"So he has,—and tenderly used too. Nobody has had better friends. I
thought he would have been more manly."</p>
<p>The property of manliness in a man is a great possession, but perhaps
there is none that is less understood,—which is more generally
accorded where it does not exist, or more frequently disallowed where
it prevails. There are not many who ever make up their minds as to
what constitutes manliness, or even inquire within themselves upon
the subject. The woman's error, occasioned by her natural desire for
a master, leads her to look for a certain outward magnificence of
demeanour, a pretended indifference to stings and little torments, a
would-be superiority to the bread-and-butter side of life, an unreal
assumption of personal grandeur. But a robe of State such as
this,—however well the garment may be worn with practice,—can never
be the raiment natural to a man; and men, dressing themselves in
women's eyes, have consented to walk about in buckram. A composure of
the eye, which has been studied, a reticence as to the little things
of life, a certain slowness of speech unless the occasion call for
passion, an indifference to small surroundings, these,—joined, of
course, with personal bravery,—are supposed to constitute manliness.
That personal bravery is required in the composition of manliness
must be conceded, though, of all the ingredients needed, it is the
lowest in value. But the first requirement of all must be described
by a negative. Manliness is not compatible with affectation. Women's
virtues, all feminine attributes, may be marred by affectation, but
the virtues and the vice may co-exist. An affected man, too, may be
honest, may be generous, may be pious;—but surely he cannot be
manly. The self-conscious assumption of any outward manner, the
striving to add,—even though it be but a tenth of a cubit to the
height,—is fatal, and will at once banish the all but divine
attribute. Before the man can be manly, the gifts which make him so
must be there, collected by him slowly, unconsciously, as are his
bones, his flesh, and his blood. They cannot be put on like a garment
for the nonce,—as may a little learning. A man cannot become
faithful to his friends, unsuspicious before the world, gentle with
women, loving with children, considerate to his inferiors, kindly
with servants, tender-hearted with all,—and at the same time be
frank, of open speech, with springing eager energies,—simply because
he desires it. These things, which are the attributes of manliness,
must come of training on a nature not ignoble. But they are the very
opposites, the antipodes, the direct antagonism, of that staring,
posed, bewhiskered and bewigged deportment, that <i>nil admirari</i>,
self-remembering assumption of manliness, that endeavour of twopence
halfpenny to look as high as threepence, which, when you prod it
through, has in it nothing deeper than deportment. We see the two
things daily, side by side, close to each other. Let a man put his
hat down, and you shall say whether he has deposited it with
affectation or true nature. The natural man will probably be manly.
The affected man cannot be so.</p>
<p>Mrs. Low was wrong when she accused our hero of being unmanly. Had
his imagination been less alert in looking into the minds of men, and
in picturing to himself the thoughts of others in reference to the
crime with which he had been charged, he would not now have shrunk
from contact with his fellow-creatures as he did. But he could not
pretend to be other than he was. During the period of his danger,
when men had thought that he would be hung,—and when he himself had
believed that it would be so,—he had borne himself bravely without
any conscious effort. When he had confronted the whole Court with
that steady courage which had excited Lord Chiltern's admiration, and
had looked the Bench in the face as though he at least had no cause
to quail, he had known nothing of what he was doing. His features had
answered the helm from his heart, but had not been played upon by his
intellect. And it was so with him now. The reaction had overcome him,
and he could not bring himself to pretend that it was not so. The
tears would come to his eyes, and he would shiver and shake like one
struck by palsy.</p>
<p>Mr. Monk came to him often, and was all but forgiven for the apparent
defection in his faith. "I have made up my mind to one thing,"
Phineas said to him at the end of the ten days.</p>
<p>"And what is the one thing?"</p>
<p>"I will give up my seat."</p>
<p>"I do not see a shadow of a reason for it."</p>
<p>"Nevertheless I will do it. Indeed, I have already written to Mr.
Ratler for the Hundreds. There may be and probably are men down at
Tankerville who still think that I am guilty. There is an
offensiveness in murder which degrades a man even by the accusation.
I suppose it wouldn't do for you to move for the new writ."</p>
<p>"Ratler will do it, as a matter of course. No doubt there will be
expressions of great regret, and my belief is that they will return
you again."</p>
<p>"If so, they'll have to do it without my presence."</p>
<p>Mr. Ratler did move for a new writ for the borough of Tankerville,
and within a fortnight of his restoration to liberty Phineas Finn was
no longer a Member of Parliament. It cannot be alleged that there was
any reason for what he did, and yet the doing of it for the time
rather increased than diminished his popularity. Both Mr. Gresham and
Mr. Daubeny expressed their regret in the House, and Mr. Monk said a
few words respecting his friend, which were very touching. He ended
by expressing a hope that they soon might see him there again, and an
opinion that he was a man peculiarly fitted by the tone of his mind,
and the nature of his intellect, for the duties of Parliament.</p>
<p>Then at last, when all this had been settled, he went to Lord
Brentford's house in Portman Square. He had promised that that should
be the first house he would visit, and he was as good as his word.
One evening he crept out, and walked slowly along Oxford Street, and
knocked timidly at the door. As he did so he longed to be told that
Lady Laura was not at home. But Lady Laura was at home,—as a matter
of course. In those days she never went into society, and had not
passed an evening away from her father's house since Mr. Kennedy's
death. He was shown up into the drawing-room in which she sat, and
there he found her—alone. "Oh, Phineas, I am so glad you have come."</p>
<p>"I have done as I said, you see."</p>
<p>"I could not go to you when they told me that you were ill. You will
have understood all that?"</p>
<p>"Yes; I understand."</p>
<p>"People are so hard, and cold, and stiff, and cruel, that one can
never do what one feels, oneself, to be right. So you have given up
your seat."</p>
<p>"Yes,—I am no longer a Member of Parliament."</p>
<p>"Barrington says that they will certainly re-elect you."</p>
<p>"We shall see. You may be sure at any rate of this,—that I shall
never ask them to do so. Things seem to be so different now from what
they did. I don't care for the seat. It all seems to be a bore and a
trouble. What does it matter who sits in Parliament? The fight goes
on just the same. The same falsehoods are acted. The same mock truths
are spoken. The same wrong reasons are given. The same personal
motives are at work."</p>
<p>"And yet, of all believers in Parliament, you used to be the most
faithful."</p>
<p>"One has time to think of things, Lady Laura, when one lies in
Newgate. It seems to me to be an eternity of time since they locked
me up. And as for that trial, which they tell me lasted a week, I
look back at it till the beginning is so distant that I can hardly
remember it. But I have resolved that I will never talk of it again.
Lady Chiltern is out probably."</p>
<p>"Yes;—she and Oswald are dining with the Baldocks."</p>
<p>"She is well?"</p>
<p>"Yes;—and most anxious to see you. Will you go to their place in
September?"</p>
<p>He had almost made up his mind that if he went anywhere in September
he would go to Matching Priory, accepting the offer of the Duchess of
Omnium; but he did not dare to say so to Lady Laura, because she
would have known that Madame Goesler also would be there. And he had
not as yet accepted the invitation, and was still in doubt whether he
would not escape by himself instead of attempting to return into the
grooves of society. "I think not;—I am hardly as yet sufficiently
master of myself to know what I shall do."</p>
<p>"They will be much disappointed."</p>
<p>"And you?—what will you do?"</p>
<p>"I shall not go there. I am told that I ought to visit Loughlinter,
and I suppose I shall. Oswald has promised to go down with me before
the end of the month, but he will not remain above a day or two."</p>
<p>"And your father?"</p>
<p>"We shall leave him at Saulsby. I cannot look it all in the face yet.
It is not possible that I should remain all alone in that great
house. The people all around would hate and despise me. I think
Violet will come down with me, but of course she cannot remain there.
Oswald must go to Harrington because of the hunting. It has become
the business of his life. And she must go with him."</p>
<p>"You will return to Saulsby."</p>
<p>"I cannot say. They seem to think that I should live at
Loughlinter;—but I cannot live there alone."</p>
<p>He soon took leave of her, and did so with no warmer expressions of
regard on either side than have here been given. Then he crept back
to his lodgings, and she sat weeping alone in her father's house.
When he had come to her during her husband's lifetime at Dresden, or
even when she had visited him at his prison, it had been better than
this.</p>
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