<h2><SPAN name="link2HCH0037" id="link2HCH0037"></SPAN>CHAPTER XXXVII</h2>
<p>Mr. Crawford gone, Sir Thomas’s next object was that he should be missed;
and he entertained great hope that his niece would find a blank in the loss of
those attentions which at the time she had felt, or fancied, an evil. She had
tasted of consequence in its most flattering form; and he did hope that the
loss of it, the sinking again into nothing, would awaken very wholesome regrets
in her mind. He watched her with this idea; but he could hardly tell with what
success. He hardly knew whether there were any difference in her spirits or
not. She was always so gentle and retiring that her emotions were beyond his
discrimination. He did not understand her: he felt that he did not; and
therefore applied to Edmund to tell him how she stood affected on the present
occasion, and whether she were more or less happy than she had been.</p>
<p>Edmund did not discern any symptoms of regret, and thought his father a little
unreasonable in supposing the first three or four days could produce any.</p>
<p>What chiefly surprised Edmund was, that Crawford’s sister, the friend and
companion who had been so much to her, should not be more visibly regretted. He
wondered that Fanny spoke so seldom of <i>her</i>, and had so little
voluntarily to say of her concern at this separation.</p>
<p>Alas! it was this sister, this friend and companion, who was now the chief bane
of Fanny’s comfort. If she could have believed Mary’s future fate
as unconnected with Mansfield as she was determined the brother’s should
be, if she could have hoped her return thither to be as distant as she was much
inclined to think his, she would have been light of heart indeed; but the more
she recollected and observed, the more deeply was she convinced that everything
was now in a fairer train for Miss Crawford’s marrying Edmund than it had
ever been before. On his side the inclination was stronger, on hers less
equivocal. His objections, the scruples of his integrity, seemed all done away,
nobody could tell how; and the doubts and hesitations of her ambition were
equally got over—and equally without apparent reason. It could only be
imputed to increasing attachment. His good and her bad feelings yielded to
love, and such love must unite them. He was to go to town as soon as some
business relative to Thornton Lacey were completed—perhaps within a
fortnight; he talked of going, he loved to talk of it; and when once with her
again, Fanny could not doubt the rest. Her acceptance must be as certain as his
offer; and yet there were bad feelings still remaining which made the prospect
of it most sorrowful to her, independently, she believed, independently of
self.</p>
<p>In their very last conversation, Miss Crawford, in spite of some amiable
sensations, and much personal kindness, had still been Miss Crawford; still
shewn a mind led astray and bewildered, and without any suspicion of being so;
darkened, yet fancying itself light. She might love, but she did not deserve
Edmund by any other sentiment. Fanny believed there was scarcely a second
feeling in common between them; and she may be forgiven by older sages for
looking on the chance of Miss Crawford’s future improvement as nearly
desperate, for thinking that if Edmund’s influence in this season of love
had already done so little in clearing her judgment, and regulating her
notions, his worth would be finally wasted on her even in years of matrimony.</p>
<p>Experience might have hoped more for any young people so circumstanced, and
impartiality would not have denied to Miss Crawford’s nature that
participation of the general nature of women which would lead her to adopt the
opinions of the man she loved and respected as her own. But as such were
Fanny’s persuasions, she suffered very much from them, and could never
speak of Miss Crawford without pain.</p>
<p>Sir Thomas, meanwhile, went on with his own hopes and his own observations,
still feeling a right, by all his knowledge of human nature, to expect to see
the effect of the loss of power and consequence on his niece’s spirits,
and the past attentions of the lover producing a craving for their return; and
he was soon afterwards able to account for his not yet completely and
indubitably seeing all this, by the prospect of another visitor, whose approach
he could allow to be quite enough to support the spirits he was watching.
William had obtained a ten days’ leave of absence, to be given to
Northamptonshire, and was coming, the happiest of lieutenants, because the
latest made, to shew his happiness and describe his uniform.</p>
<p>He came; and he would have been delighted to shew his uniform there too, had
not cruel custom prohibited its appearance except on duty. So the uniform
remained at Portsmouth, and Edmund conjectured that before Fanny had any chance
of seeing it, all its own freshness and all the freshness of its wearer’s
feelings must be worn away. It would be sunk into a badge of disgrace; for what
can be more unbecoming, or more worthless, than the uniform of a lieutenant,
who has been a lieutenant a year or two, and sees others made commanders before
him? So reasoned Edmund, till his father made him the confidant of a scheme
which placed Fanny’s chance of seeing the second lieutenant of H.M.S.
Thrush in all his glory in another light.</p>
<p>This scheme was that she should accompany her brother back to Portsmouth, and
spend a little time with her own family. It had occurred to Sir Thomas, in one
of his dignified musings, as a right and desirable measure; but before he
absolutely made up his mind, he consulted his son. Edmund considered it every
way, and saw nothing but what was right. The thing was good in itself, and
could not be done at a better time; and he had no doubt of it being highly
agreeable to Fanny. This was enough to determine Sir Thomas; and a decisive
“then so it shall be” closed that stage of the business; Sir Thomas
retiring from it with some feelings of satisfaction, and views of good over and
above what he had communicated to his son; for his prime motive in sending her
away had very little to do with the propriety of her seeing her parents again,
and nothing at all with any idea of making her happy. He certainly wished her
to go willingly, but he as certainly wished her to be heartily sick of home
before her visit ended; and that a little abstinence from the elegancies and
luxuries of Mansfield Park would bring her mind into a sober state, and incline
her to a juster estimate of the value of that home of greater permanence, and
equal comfort, of which she had the offer.</p>
<p>It was a medicinal project upon his niece’s understanding, which he must
consider as at present diseased. A residence of eight or nine years in the
abode of wealth and plenty had a little disordered her powers of comparing and
judging. Her father’s house would, in all probability, teach her the
value of a good income; and he trusted that she would be the wiser and happier
woman, all her life, for the experiment he had devised.</p>
<p>Had Fanny been at all addicted to raptures, she must have had a strong attack
of them when she first understood what was intended, when her uncle first made
her the offer of visiting the parents, and brothers, and sisters, from whom she
had been divided almost half her life; of returning for a couple of months to
the scenes of her infancy, with William for the protector and companion of her
journey, and the certainty of continuing to see William to the last hour of his
remaining on land. Had she ever given way to bursts of delight, it must have
been then, for she was delighted, but her happiness was of a quiet, deep,
heart-swelling sort; and though never a great talker, she was always more
inclined to silence when feeling most strongly. At the moment she could only
thank and accept. Afterwards, when familiarised with the visions of enjoyment
so suddenly opened, she could speak more largely to William and Edmund of what
she felt; but still there were emotions of tenderness that could not be clothed
in words. The remembrance of all her earliest pleasures, and of what she had
suffered in being torn from them, came over her with renewed strength, and it
seemed as if to be at home again would heal every pain that had since grown out
of the separation. To be in the centre of such a circle, loved by so many, and
more loved by all than she had ever been before; to feel affection without fear
or restraint; to feel herself the equal of those who surrounded her; to be at
peace from all mention of the Crawfords, safe from every look which could be
fancied a reproach on their account. This was a prospect to be dwelt on with a
fondness that could be but half acknowledged.</p>
<p>Edmund, too—to be two months from <i>him</i> (and perhaps she might be
allowed to make her absence three) must do her good. At a distance, unassailed
by his looks or his kindness, and safe from the perpetual irritation of knowing
his heart, and striving to avoid his confidence, she should be able to reason
herself into a properer state; she should be able to think of him as in London,
and arranging everything there, without wretchedness. What might have been hard
to bear at Mansfield was to become a slight evil at Portsmouth.</p>
<p>The only drawback was the doubt of her aunt Bertram’s being comfortable
without her. She was of use to no one else; but <i>there</i> she might be
missed to a degree that she did not like to think of; and that part of the
arrangement was, indeed, the hardest for Sir Thomas to accomplish, and what
only <i>he</i> could have accomplished at all.</p>
<p>But he was master at Mansfield Park. When he had really resolved on any
measure, he could always carry it through; and now by dint of long talking on
the subject, explaining and dwelling on the duty of Fanny’s sometimes
seeing her family, he did induce his wife to let her go; obtaining it rather
from submission, however, than conviction, for Lady Bertram was convinced of
very little more than that Sir Thomas thought Fanny ought to go, and therefore
that she must. In the calmness of her own dressing-room, in the impartial flow
of her own meditations, unbiassed by his bewildering statements, she could not
acknowledge any necessity for Fanny’s ever going near a father and mother
who had done without her so long, while she was so useful to herself. And as to
the not missing her, which under Mrs. Norris’s discussion was the point
attempted to be proved, she set herself very steadily against admitting any
such thing.</p>
<p>Sir Thomas had appealed to her reason, conscience, and dignity. He called it a
sacrifice, and demanded it of her goodness and self-command as such. But Mrs.
Norris wanted to persuade her that Fanny could be very well
spared—<i>she</i> being ready to give up all her own time to her as
requested—and, in short, could not really be wanted or missed.</p>
<p>“That may be, sister,” was all Lady Bertram’s reply. “I
dare say you are very right; but I am sure I shall miss her very much.”</p>
<p>The next step was to communicate with Portsmouth. Fanny wrote to offer herself;
and her mother’s answer, though short, was so kind—a few simple
lines expressed so natural and motherly a joy in the prospect of seeing her
child again, as to confirm all the daughter’s views of happiness in being
with her—convincing her that she should now find a warm and affectionate
friend in the “mama” who had certainly shewn no remarkable fondness
for her formerly; but this she could easily suppose to have been her own fault
or her own fancy. She had probably alienated love by the helplessness and
fretfulness of a fearful temper, or been unreasonable in wanting a larger share
than any one among so many could deserve. Now, when she knew better how to be
useful, and how to forbear, and when her mother could be no longer occupied by
the incessant demands of a house full of little children, there would be
leisure and inclination for every comfort, and they should soon be what mother
and daughter ought to be to each other.</p>
<p>William was almost as happy in the plan as his sister. It would be the greatest
pleasure to him to have her there to the last moment before he sailed, and
perhaps find her there still when he came in from his first cruise. And
besides, he wanted her so very much to see the Thrush before she went out of
harbour—the Thrush was certainly the finest sloop in the
service—and there were several improvements in the dockyard, too, which
he quite longed to shew her.</p>
<p>He did not scruple to add that her being at home for a while would be a great
advantage to everybody.</p>
<p>“I do not know how it is,” said he; “but we seem to want some
of your nice ways and orderliness at my father’s. The house is always in
confusion. You will set things going in a better way, I am sure. You will tell
my mother how it all ought to be, and you will be so useful to Susan, and you
will teach Betsey, and make the boys love and mind you. How right and
comfortable it will all be!”</p>
<p>By the time Mrs. Price’s answer arrived, there remained but a very few
days more to be spent at Mansfield; and for part of one of those days the young
travellers were in a good deal of alarm on the subject of their journey, for
when the mode of it came to be talked of, and Mrs. Norris found that all her
anxiety to save her brother-in-law’s money was vain, and that in spite of
her wishes and hints for a less expensive conveyance of Fanny, they were to
travel post; when she saw Sir Thomas actually give William notes for the
purpose, she was struck with the idea of there being room for a third in the
carriage, and suddenly seized with a strong inclination to go with them, to go
and see her poor dear sister Price. She proclaimed her thoughts. She must say
that she had more than half a mind to go with the young people; it would be
such an indulgence to her; she had not seen her poor dear sister Price for more
than twenty years; and it would be a help to the young people in their journey
to have her older head to manage for them; and she could not help thinking her
poor dear sister Price would feel it very unkind of her not to come by such an
opportunity.</p>
<p>William and Fanny were horror-struck at the idea.</p>
<p>All the comfort of their comfortable journey would be destroyed at once. With
woeful countenances they looked at each other. Their suspense lasted an hour or
two. No one interfered to encourage or dissuade. Mrs. Norris was left to settle
the matter by herself; and it ended, to the infinite joy of her nephew and
niece, in the recollection that she could not possibly be spared from Mansfield
Park at present; that she was a great deal too necessary to Sir Thomas and Lady
Bertram for her to be able to answer it to herself to leave them even for a
week, and therefore must certainly sacrifice every other pleasure to that of
being useful to them.</p>
<p>It had, in fact, occurred to her, that though taken to Portsmouth for nothing,
it would be hardly possible for her to avoid paying her own expenses back
again. So her poor dear sister Price was left to all the disappointment of her
missing such an opportunity, and another twenty years’ absence, perhaps,
begun.</p>
<p>Edmund’s plans were affected by this Portsmouth journey, this absence of
Fanny’s. He too had a sacrifice to make to Mansfield Park as well as his
aunt. He had intended, about this time, to be going to London; but he could not
leave his father and mother just when everybody else of most importance to
their comfort was leaving them; and with an effort, felt but not boasted of, he
delayed for a week or two longer a journey which he was looking forward to with
the hope of its fixing his happiness for ever.</p>
<p>He told Fanny of it. She knew so much already, that she must know everything.
It made the substance of one other confidential discourse about Miss Crawford;
and Fanny was the more affected from feeling it to be the last time in which
Miss Crawford’s name would ever be mentioned between them with any
remains of liberty. Once afterwards she was alluded to by him. Lady Bertram had
been telling her niece in the evening to write to her soon and often, and
promising to be a good correspondent herself; and Edmund, at a convenient
moment, then added in a whisper, “And <i>I</i> shall write to you, Fanny,
when I have anything worth writing about, anything to say that I think you will
like to hear, and that you will not hear so soon from any other quarter.”
Had she doubted his meaning while she listened, the glow in his face, when she
looked up at him, would have been decisive.</p>
<p>For this letter she must try to arm herself. That a letter from Edmund should
be a subject of terror! She began to feel that she had not yet gone through all
the changes of opinion and sentiment which the progress of time and variation
of circumstances occasion in this world of changes. The vicissitudes of the
human mind had not yet been exhausted by her.</p>
<p>Poor Fanny! though going as she did willingly and eagerly, the last evening at
Mansfield Park must still be wretchedness. Her heart was completely sad at
parting. She had tears for every room in the house, much more for every beloved
inhabitant. She clung to her aunt, because she would miss her; she kissed the
hand of her uncle with struggling sobs, because she had displeased him; and as
for Edmund, she could neither speak, nor look, nor think, when the last moment
came with <i>him</i>; and it was not till it was over that she knew he was
giving her the affectionate farewell of a brother.</p>
<p>All this passed overnight, for the journey was to begin very early in the
morning; and when the small, diminished party met at breakfast, William and
Fanny were talked of as already advanced one stage.</p>
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