<h2><SPAN name="link2HCH0039" id="link2HCH0039"></SPAN>CHAPTER XXXIX</h2>
<p>Could Sir Thomas have seen all his niece’s feelings, when she wrote her
first letter to her aunt, he would not have despaired; for though a good
night’s rest, a pleasant morning, the hope of soon seeing William again,
and the comparatively quiet state of the house, from Tom and Charles being gone
to school, Sam on some project of his own, and her father on his usual lounges,
enabled her to express herself cheerfully on the subject of home, there were
still, to her own perfect consciousness, many drawbacks suppressed. Could he
have seen only half that she felt before the end of a week, he would have
thought Mr. Crawford sure of her, and been delighted with his own sagacity.</p>
<p>Before the week ended, it was all disappointment. In the first place, William
was gone. The Thrush had had her orders, the wind had changed, and he was
sailed within four days from their reaching Portsmouth; and during those days
she had seen him only twice, in a short and hurried way, when he had come
ashore on duty. There had been no free conversation, no walk on the ramparts,
no visit to the dockyard, no acquaintance with the Thrush, nothing of all that
they had planned and depended on. Everything in that quarter failed her, except
William’s affection. His last thought on leaving home was for her. He
stepped back again to the door to say, “Take care of Fanny, mother. She
is tender, and not used to rough it like the rest of us. I charge you, take
care of Fanny.”</p>
<p>William was gone: and the home he had left her in was, Fanny could not conceal
it from herself, in almost every respect the very reverse of what she could
have wished. It was the abode of noise, disorder, and impropriety. Nobody was
in their right place, nothing was done as it ought to be. She could not respect
her parents as she had hoped. On her father, her confidence had not been
sanguine, but he was more negligent of his family, his habits were worse, and
his manners coarser, than she had been prepared for. He did not want abilities
but he had no curiosity, and no information beyond his profession; he read only
the newspaper and the navy-list; he talked only of the dockyard, the harbour,
Spithead, and the Motherbank; he swore and he drank, he was dirty and gross.
She had never been able to recall anything approaching to tenderness in his
former treatment of herself. There had remained only a general impression of
roughness and loudness; and now he scarcely ever noticed her, but to make her
the object of a coarse joke.</p>
<p>Her disappointment in her mother was greater: <i>there</i> she had hoped much,
and found almost nothing. Every flattering scheme of being of consequence to
her soon fell to the ground. Mrs. Price was not unkind; but, instead of gaining
on her affection and confidence, and becoming more and more dear, her daughter
never met with greater kindness from her than on the first day of her arrival.
The instinct of nature was soon satisfied, and Mrs. Price’s attachment
had no other source. Her heart and her time were already quite full; she had
neither leisure nor affection to bestow on Fanny. Her daughters never had been
much to her. She was fond of her sons, especially of William, but Betsey was
the first of her girls whom she had ever much regarded. To her she was most
injudiciously indulgent. William was her pride; Betsey her darling; and John,
Richard, Sam, Tom, and Charles occupied all the rest of her maternal
solicitude, alternately her worries and her comforts. These shared her heart:
her time was given chiefly to her house and her servants. Her days were spent
in a kind of slow bustle; all was busy without getting on, always behindhand
and lamenting it, without altering her ways; wishing to be an economist,
without contrivance or regularity; dissatisfied with her servants, without
skill to make them better, and whether helping, or reprimanding, or indulging
them, without any power of engaging their respect.</p>
<p>Of her two sisters, Mrs. Price very much more resembled Lady Bertram than Mrs.
Norris. She was a manager by necessity, without any of Mrs. Norris’s
inclination for it, or any of her activity. Her disposition was naturally easy
and indolent, like Lady Bertram’s; and a situation of similar affluence
and do-nothingness would have been much more suited to her capacity than the
exertions and self-denials of the one which her imprudent marriage had placed
her in. She might have made just as good a woman of consequence as Lady
Bertram, but Mrs. Norris would have been a more respectable mother of nine
children on a small income.</p>
<p>Much of all this Fanny could not but be sensible of. She might scruple to make
use of the words, but she must and did feel that her mother was a partial,
ill-judging parent, a dawdle, a slattern, who neither taught nor restrained her
children, whose house was the scene of mismanagement and discomfort from
beginning to end, and who had no talent, no conversation, no affection towards
herself; no curiosity to know her better, no desire of her friendship, and no
inclination for her company that could lessen her sense of such feelings.</p>
<p>Fanny was very anxious to be useful, and not to appear above her home, or in
any way disqualified or disinclined, by her foreign education, from
contributing her help to its comforts, and therefore set about working for Sam
immediately; and by working early and late, with perseverance and great
despatch, did so much that the boy was shipped off at last, with more than half
his linen ready. She had great pleasure in feeling her usefulness, but could
not conceive how they would have managed without her.</p>
<p>Sam, loud and overbearing as he was, she rather regretted when he went, for he
was clever and intelligent, and glad to be employed in any errand in the town;
and though spurning the remonstrances of Susan, given as they were, though very
reasonable in themselves, with ill-timed and powerless warmth, was beginning to
be influenced by Fanny’s services and gentle persuasions; and she found
that the best of the three younger ones was gone in him: Tom and Charles being
at least as many years as they were his juniors distant from that age of
feeling and reason, which might suggest the expediency of making friends, and
of endeavouring to be less disagreeable. Their sister soon despaired of making
the smallest impression on <i>them</i>; they were quite untameable by any means
of address which she had spirits or time to attempt. Every afternoon brought a
return of their riotous games all over the house; and she very early learned to
sigh at the approach of Saturday’s constant half-holiday.</p>
<p>Betsey, too, a spoiled child, trained up to think the alphabet her greatest
enemy, left to be with the servants at her pleasure, and then encouraged to
report any evil of them, she was almost as ready to despair of being able to
love or assist; and of Susan’s temper she had many doubts. Her continual
disagreements with her mother, her rash squabbles with Tom and Charles, and
petulance with Betsey, were at least so distressing to Fanny that, though
admitting they were by no means without provocation, she feared the disposition
that could push them to such length must be far from amiable, and from
affording any repose to herself.</p>
<p>Such was the home which was to put Mansfield out of her head, and teach her to
think of her cousin Edmund with moderated feelings. On the contrary, she could
think of nothing but Mansfield, its beloved inmates, its happy ways. Everything
where she now was in full contrast to it. The elegance, propriety, regularity,
harmony, and perhaps, above all, the peace and tranquillity of Mansfield, were
brought to her remembrance every hour of the day, by the prevalence of
everything opposite to them <i>here</i>.</p>
<p>The living in incessant noise was, to a frame and temper delicate and nervous
like Fanny’s, an evil which no superadded elegance or harmony could have
entirely atoned for. It was the greatest misery of all. At Mansfield, no sounds
of contention, no raised voice, no abrupt bursts, no tread of violence, was
ever heard; all proceeded in a regular course of cheerful orderliness;
everybody had their due importance; everybody’s feelings were consulted.
If tenderness could be ever supposed wanting, good sense and good breeding
supplied its place; and as to the little irritations sometimes introduced by
aunt Norris, they were short, they were trifling, they were as a drop of water
to the ocean, compared with the ceaseless tumult of her present abode. Here
everybody was noisy, every voice was loud (excepting, perhaps, her
mother’s, which resembled the soft monotony of Lady Bertram’s, only
worn into fretfulness). Whatever was wanted was hallooed for, and the servants
hallooed out their excuses from the kitchen. The doors were in constant
banging, the stairs were never at rest, nothing was done without a clatter,
nobody sat still, and nobody could command attention when they spoke.</p>
<p>In a review of the two houses, as they appeared to her before the end of a
week, Fanny was tempted to apply to them Dr. Johnson’s celebrated
judgment as to matrimony and celibacy, and say, that though Mansfield Park
might have some pains, Portsmouth could have no pleasures.</p>
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